Of Youkai, Life, and Other Things
by Tyranno's girl
Summary: Uchiha Itachi was your average weasel demon: He spent day and night studying and never went to parties or had a group of friends or silly things like that. Wait, what do you mean that's not normal! KisaIta, KakuHida, SasoDei, ZetTobi, SasuNaru
1. Social Life? What's That? Part 1

**A/N: Hey everyone, guess who's finally coming back to this side of fanfiction? In all reality, I have been working on many Naruto fanfics, but I don't want any nit-picking and a lot of the fics require a lot of research, so… yeah. **

**I'm mostly starting so I can get back into writing KisaIta. **

**This is an AU fic where the major population is composed of demons (animal-demons, plant-demons, etc.) who have special abilities for work and such and if I use OCs… You guys know me by now, I only use OCs if they're necessary. **

**This fiction was inspired by a certain show that I will only reveal the name of at the end of this chapter. But so help me God if I get any flames because of the show that inspired it… **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or the show that inspired this. Just my few OCs and my ever-warping imagination.**

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><p><em>A long time ago, in the age of great gods and horrific beasts, the goddess of the sun Amaterasu and the god of the moon Tsukuyomi reigned over the newly forming land from their celestial home in the sky. The beautiful, gracious Amaterasu brought life to the cold ground below by bathing the world in light and warmth for the day and her brother Tsukuyomi brought calm and rest to the land by washing the land in moonlight at night. <em>

_It soon came to past that the first inhabitants of the world, the lesser magical beings known as demons, began to celebrate the sun goddess, while leaving her brother in the cold. _

_Tsukuyomi soon grew furious at this and the disdain and hatred soon grew harsh and steadfast in his heart to the point that one forsaken day, Tsukuyomi kidnapped his sister and hid her away in the darkest recesses of the underworld. With Amaterasu's powers of sunlight gone, Tsukuyomi was free to drench the world in his darkness and cold. _

_This soon threatened to put the world out of balance, but little-known to Tsukuyomi who was too drunk on power to see this, Amaterasu had created and raised ten celestial beings that soon began to yearn for their mother's presence in the world. _

_The one-tailed raccoon. _

_The two-tailed cat. _

_The three-tailed shark. _

_The four-tailed serpent. _

_The five-tailed wolf. _

_The six-tailed weasel. _

_The seven-tailed badger. _

_The eight-tailed snake. _

_The nine-tailed fox._

_And the ten-tailed dolphin._

_With heavy hearts led by a solemn purpose, the ten celestial beings went to war against their mother's brother. _

_It was a long, vicious war: the blood of the dispute ran across the land until, finally, _finally,_ Tsukuyomi relented. He looked upon the world and saw the damage that he had done. It made his heart heavy with regret, so he led the ten celestial beings to his sister's prison before he fled the world in favor of becoming one with the moon. _

_What should have been a joyous occasion was tarnished with the tears that Amaterasu shed at the loss of her brother; even though he had almost destroyed the world, she still loved him too much to be in this world without him. So, following her brother's example, she went to become one with the sun; not before leaving her precious children in charge of the world's affairs. _

_Since that day, the ten celestial beings have been watching over this world to make sure that the world stays in balance from therefore to eternity. Every year, on the eve of the harvest, the ten celestials would present a sacrifice in honor of Tsukuyomi before holding a festival for Amaterasu; just to show that they hadn't been forgotten –_

"Every year?" Scarlet eyes blinked after reading those words. The words of the tale were etched into the thick pages of an aged, leather-bound tome that was held in the clawed hands of a young man. His dark, ink-shaded locks cascaded down his shoulders, lapping at the fabric of his red kimono. He had gorgeous pearl skin, which was marred only by an intricate marking on his right hand that depicted a shining swirl of red mist, and, resting on either side of his head, were long, furry, black ears that would remind one of a weasel; a slim, furry tail flicked lazily behind him as he mused out loud, "I've never even _heard_ of a Harvest Eve Sacrifice, only the Sun Harvest Festival."

After making sure that what he read was indeed there, he placed the book into a leather satchel and hoisted it over his shoulder before taking a deep inhale of crisp, fresh air and then walking down a clean, stone-hewn road that winded all around the city which he was currently in. He was still thinking about his readings when someone called out,

"There you are Itachi!" The brunette, Itachi, blinked his red eyes before he looked ahead and saw a group of young demons, much like himself, but each having their own unique characteristics. The head of the group readjusted the parcel that she had in her hands before stating, "The Yumes are having a little get-together tonight at the south quarter of the city. You in?" Itachi frowned a bit before gathering up his best reassuring smile and replying,

"Oh, wow, I'd _love_ to… but I have research to do. If you'll excuse me.", before quickly making his way down the road. When the weasel-demon was gone, one of the others pouted,

"Gee, what's _his_ problem? He never does anything but study!" The head demon shook her head and sighed,

"I think he's more interested in books than friends. Come on, let's go."

* * *

><p>Itachi quickened his pace once he saw his apartment building and, before he knew it, he was in the elevator to the first floor. "Such a sacred act should be emphasized more… Maybe I've skimmed over it in one of my scrolls." The elevator dinged, shaking Itachi out of his thoughts so that he walked into the floor that, due to his studies, was his and his alone.<p>

"Sasuke!" Itachi called out as he made it inside his apartment, "Sasuke, where are you?" There was a growl mixed with a snore beneath a pile of books. Itachi frowned before snapping his clawed fingers, a red spark appearing before the books were brought into the air and settled to the side. When the books were moved, they revealed a medium-sized dragon; the beast lay coiled up in its 'nest', it's navy-blue scales glittering in the sunlight before it rolled over, it's pale underbelly visible as dark horns scratched against the floor.

"SASUKE!"

The dragon gulped, rolling over from its nap before its form shifted into that of a young man. The young man was a few years younger than Itachi, but you could see a resemblance between the two. His skin was a shimmering, moon-like pale, his strangely-shaped hair a navy-blue that accompanied the pair of smooth, dark horns that protruded from his forehead. He was wearing a kimono of blue and white that shook and shivered as he let out a growl of a yawn, fangs visible as he wiped at his eye with his left hand (a mark that appeared to be a blue flame standing out on it).

"What is it Itachi?" Sasuke yawned out, "You were supposed to be out until 2 o'clock…"

"I came back early." Itachi answered to his younger brother as he rummaged through a jar full of scrolls and quickly moved to a file-cabinet filled with papers. Some might think it odd, a dragon and a weasel-demon being related. But it was a matter of their genealogy: their father was a dragon who married a very beautiful weasel demon after a chance meeting (he had accidently burned her school-work, she demanded that he help her re-do it, the rest was history). "Quick, I need that copy of 'Prophecies and Fore-tellings'!"

"I was trying to get the last bit of sleep that I could before tonight's party…" Sasuke huffed as he began thumbing through the nearest shelve.

"Oh," Itachi began, "We weren't going to be able to make it anyway. Not enough time."

"Aniki, you _always_ say that!" Sasuke groaned. "If this keeps up, I'm never going to be able to experience life and other important things!"

"Like what, otouto?" Itachi skimmed through another book before tossing it aside. Sasuke smirked before stating,

"Like finding a mate before next year's Romantix Festival…"

"There will be plenty of time for that when you're older, Sasuke," Itachi hummed and, just before Sasuke could ask when that would be, Itachi held up his hands before they began to glow red a second later. Ten random books floated down from the shelves and Itachi had them open one at a time, whispering, "No. No. No. Not you or you or you! Gah! Sasuke!"

"I got it!" Sasuke called out from the top of a high bookshelf, waving the specified tome in victory. Itachi smiled before clapping his still glowing hands together. The book in Sasuke's hands immediately rushed down to the weasel-demon's signal…

Along with the dragon holding it.

"Fuck…" Sasuke groaned out in pain from his impromptu face-plant as Itachi took the book like nothing had happened.

"Let's see, Harvest Eve… Harvest Eve…" Itachi mused aloud as he skimmed. His eyes soon landed on, "The Tale of Amaterasu and Tsukuyomi?"

"That old bed-time story?" Sasuke huffed as he picked up the discarded books. But Itachi ignored him and read on,

"'The ancient story of the sun-goddess Amaterasu and her brother moon-god Tsukuyomi. Legend has it that after 1000 years of being forced into the darkness of memory, Tsukuyomi will harness the powers of the stars above and reach forth towards the land and exact his wrath once more.'"

"Wow," Sasuke, who had climbed his way back up the shelves once more, scratched at his chin with his long black claw-nails, "Seems like an angry guy."

"Don't you know what this means?" Itachi snapped, the exclamation causing the young dragon to fall to the floor with a groan,

"That you're being _way_ too loud?"

"Baka…" Itachi rushed to his main writing desk and picked up a calligraphy brush, a pot of ink, and a scroll of paper. "Take a note, would you?" Sasuke frowned but took the paper anyway, knowing that although Itachi was the more eloquent, talented of the two, his own handwriting was more intelligible.

"Go on?"

"Oh highest elegancy Rokubi No Raijuu,

As your most diligent student in the chakras, magics, and mystics of our world, I have discovered that we are on the edge of disaster! The mythical figure Tsukuyomi is due for a return sometime in the near horizon. This prophecy must be prevented at all costs, as I'm sure that you would agree…"

"Worrywart." Sasuke muttered, still writing away.

"I am sure that you and the other celestials are more than busy running the affairs of the world, but if we all come together this crisis can be averted.

I am eagerly awaiting your words of response. Your faithful student,

Uchiha Itachi."

Sasuke quickly made the final stroke on Itachi's name and quickly rolled the scroll up and tied it with a string from his sleeve. "Done."

"Then send it at once." Itachi stated, gathering a few scrolls that looked promising. Sasuke frowned, his long, scaly tail reaching up to scratch his hair nervously.

"Now?"

"Yes, now!" Itachi replied, "When else?" Sasuke was about to add something about how busy the celestial beings would be in preparing for the harvest feasts all around the world, but his older brother's scarlet eyes immediately shut him up. So he simply took the scroll in his hand and cleared his throat before exhaling a rush of blue flame that turned the letter into black ashes **( 1 )**.

As a dragon, Sasuke had the ability to send letters via his flames. He could say that Itachi abused his ability, but an angry weasel-demon with nothing but raw chakra and skill at his disposal was _not_ something that he wanted to deal with. When the letter was gone, he sighed, "I wouldn't hold your breath though, aniki."

"It will be fine," Itachi gave a small smile as he moved towards the large window that over-looked their home city in the grassy hills of Konoha. "Rokubi-sama trusts me enough to reply in his own time." Sasuke shrugged his shoulders and was about to go take another nap when he jolted: the feeling of something in his throat making him cough a bit before choked out a plume of blue fire that quickly turned into another scroll. "Quick, what did he say?" Itachi asked immediately. Sasuke opened the scroll before reading,

"'Young Itachi, my dear pupil,

As you know, your words and opinions are some of the dearest treasures that I have come across in my existence. And therefore, I have entrusted you completely…'" Itachi loved hearing Rokubi's words; they always made him feel as though his studies were accomplishing something.

"'But _please_ stop taking what you read in those old, decrepit scrolls for reality!'"

"Excuse me?" Itachi frowned, his hair bristling and his ears twitching as he felt everything in his world shatter in an instant.

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><p>"'Itachi, these words may come from my husband Sanbi, but I agree with them wholeheartedly: there is more to a young demon's life than studying.'" Sasuke was still reading the letter, though his words came in the forms of growls and snorts due to his being in dragon form as he flew through the sky; Itachi sitting on his back in shock as he took everything in. "'So, as a whole, the other celestials and I decided that it would be best for you and Sasuke to go and oversee the preparations for the Sun Harvest Festival in the location of this year's chosen shrine…" Itachi gulped as he looked into the horizon and saw a small town nestled by an ocean with a gorgeous waterfall rushing down from the mountains at its center. "Adamant Falls."<p>

"This is a nightmare." Itachi whispered, "I will wake up soon and Rokubi-sama will have something _truly_ important to do: like find a new jutsu or spell or research a new potion or—"

"'Your parents are truly happy with this arrangement as well," Sasuke interrupted with a snort, "'To the point that they have set aside a fully-prepared residence in the Adamant Falls library for you two. But there is one more task that me and the other celestials place upon you, Itachi.'"

"A peace treaty! Finding a rare plant! Slaying a monster!" Itachi sobbed as he moved closer to see the letter, "_Anything_ to get me back home!" Sasuke's reptilian-slitted red eyes widening as they saw the next line, but his lips curled up in a sharp smirk as he read out,

"'Make some friends and get out of the books once in a while!'" Itachi groaned when he saw that the line had been written once by every celestial. "Look at it this way, Itachi," Sasuke rumbled, "At least it's been arranged for us to stay in a library. Does that count for anything?" Itachi held his knees to his chest in a pouting motion until something clicked.

"Yes, yes it does!" He jumped up, struggling to keep his balance for a second before he added, "Because I _know _that I'm right! So the sooner we finish checking up on preparations, the sooner we can go to the library for more research!" Sasuke somewhat flinched at his brother's manic expression when he said that, but he remembered something and asked,

"But then when will you meet people and make friends like the celestials wanted you to?" Itachi chuckled, patting Sasuke between his horns,

"Oh silly Sasuke… They said to check on the preparations. As Rokubi-sama's student, I will do nothing short of my very best. But the fate of the world does not rest on something as juvenile as us making friends."

"Hmph," Sasuke muttered as he made his landing on the main street of Adamant Falls, "Speak for yourself." Itachi picked up his satchel from Sasuke's back before the young dragon shifted into his normal-form. Sasuke ran his fingers through his hair as he looked around, silently appreciating the tranquil beauty that this place had. "Sun, sand, crystal-blue waters…" He clasped his hands together and gave a devious smirk that showed off his fangs perfectly, "The perfect hunting grounds for a nice warm body to share my bed at night…"

"Come on Sasuke," Itachi huffed, wincing as the sun shined down effortlessly on the town below, "Let's get this over with."

"Hey, I just remembered something," Sasuke stated as he and his brother began walking through the beach-side town, "Doesn't our cousin Tobi live here?"

"Oh yes, that's right…" Itachi hummed. The three Uchiha's who were of age to, Itachi, Tobi, and Sasuke, all took entrance exams for the celestial's mentorship programs.

Tobi, unfortunately, didn't pass and was sent back to his branch of the Uchiha family and, after a while, moved to Adamant Falls.

"Who knows," Sasuke sighed, happily taking in the sunshine and the sea-salted air, "Maybe we'll meet up with him while we're here and—Oomph!" He crashed into someone just as he was about to finish that thought, he quickly muttered 'sorry' before he and Itachi saw who it was.

A young, pale demon with short, messy black hair, pointed ears and wide, deep brown eyes quickly stood up and began dusting himself off with his over-sized kimono-sleeves (said kimono reaching just above the teen's knees).

"Talk about your deus ex-machina." Itachi muttered as he immediately recognized the young demon. Tobi blinked and looked at the two men ahead of him, Itachi speaking first, "Hi Tob—"

"OH MY GOSH!" Tobi exclaimed before rushing off in the opposite direction, sparkles akin to fireworks being left in his wake.

"Well," Itachi blinked, after making sure that he could still hear, "_That_ was a nice meeting." Sasuke only sighed as they went down the path. "Did Rokubi-sama send the list on what I am supposed to be checking on?" Sasuke was about to shake his head when, abruptly, he coughed out a plume of blue fire that contained...

"Oh, never mind." The younger Uchiha unrolled the list and read, "Sun Harvest Festival Overseer's Guide. Item One: Banquet Preparations by Goldleaf Farm."

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><p>The two Uchiha's were soon walking through a large area of farmland that was dotted here and there by fruit trees and plants of all sorts while farm animals grazed in certain areas. "This place is huge!" Itachi groaned, "How the hell are we supposed to find who's in charge around here?"<p>

"Maybe we should wait until they come to us?" Sasuke replied, Itachi huffing,

"Oh yes, Sasuke, that makes _so_ much sense! Let's just wait and—"

"Apples! Peaches! Oranges! GO!" Five blurs rushed by, actually causing Itachi to spin for a second before he fell to the dusty ground in a heap. Sasuke watched the five figures rush to three trees ahead.

A brunette male with hair that looked like it had seen a hack-saw rather than a barber, who had emerald green eyes surrounded by red, and had stitches all over his face and body rushed towards the orange tree and gave a vicious blow to it, causing the vibrant orange fruits to fall into the conveniently placed baskets below.

Three young children, two brunette boys and a small girl with white hair in pig-tails that went along with her fluffy cat-ears and wide ruby eyes, quickly created a chin where the girl climbed up the peach tree and tossed the ripe, pink, fuzzy fruits to the other two who quickly placed them in baskets below.

Finally, a young male demon with pale skin, ruby eyes, and short white hair topped with matching cat-ears rushed towards the apple tree, scythe in hand. After a series of slashes that were almost too fast to be seen, the apples were showering down into the baskets placed below the tree.

Sasuke smirked at Itachi, who simply frowned,

"Can we _please_ just get this over with?", before walking over, "Hello, my name is Uchiha Itachi and – Oh my gods!" He yelped as he felt both of his hands squeezed, one by the albino and the other by the brunette.

"Hey there, Itachi," the albino laughed out as the brunette added,

"Welcome to Goldleaf Farm. Need a place to stay? A meal? Gift-set? Any sort of item that would require a bartering of money?"

"Don't you scare him away, Kuzu." The albino cat-demon hissed, his furred white tail bristling a bit before he stated, "The name's Hidan. Tall and gruesome there is my husband Kakuzu. We sure love making new acquaintances here at Goldleaf, don't we kids?" The three children, who had practically tackled Sasuke to the ground in the forms of hugs and greetings all nodded,

"Hai!", before Kakuzu asked,

"So, what can we do for you?" When his arms were finally let go, Itachi had to wait for the blood to flow back into them before he began,

"Me and my brother have been sent here to oversee preparations for the Sun Harvest Festival. You two are in charge of food?"

"Hell yes we are!" Hidan smiled, "Want to sample some?" Itachi was about to decline when Sasuke mouthed out,

'Aniki, be nice.', as he played around with the kids. Itachi sighed,

"As long as it wouldn't take too long and—" Both Kakuzu and Hidan rushed over to a signpost that had a medium-sized bell which, upon rung, filled the air with a resounding echo before Hidan called out,

"LUNCH-TIME~!"

Itachi and Sasuke could only watch as, like a stampede, a large group of demons rushed in from out of the wood-work. Before long, the two Uchiha brothers found themselves seated at a table with a large group of cat and stitch demons surrounding them. "Allow us to introduce you to the Hoku-Shiroi clan." Kakuzu stated, Itachi immediately gulping and replying,

"Oh _no_, we really should be go—" It was too late as one demon set a plate of food in front of the two, Hidan speaking as he forced a spoonful of rice into the weasel-demon's mouth,

"This is Ginger." Another demon popped up with another plate, the pattern following that way as Hidan kept calling off names, "Here's Mochi. Dim Sum. Oak. Oleander. Saké. Peachy. Sashimi. Kappa-kun. Satoshi. Kasumi. Soba. Yakisoba. Ivory. Aki. Mae." By the time he stopped to take a break, the table was over-flowing with food. The albino cat-demon then added, "Kiro," the first brunette boy who looked just like a mini-Kakuzu,

"Kire,", the second brunette whose brown hair was cut short and his stitches went in different directions, "Kira-chan," the small albino cat-demon girl dropped off a plate of small pastries onto the table, "And finally, Obaa-chan, our current matriarch." Hidan pointed to a decrepit old stitch demon who was struggling to even rock her chair by herself.

Kakuzu walked over and whispered, "Come on grandmother. Time to greet guests."

"Er, wha?" The old demon croaked out before calling over, "Welcome to Goldleaf, enjoy your stay…", before she went to sleep in her chair.

"What do you know," Hidan laughed, "I'd say that you're already part of the family!" Itachi immediately spat out the food that had been forced into his mouth and pulled Sasuke, who was about to start eating, close to him as he announced,

"Well, this has been _so_ much fun, but I think that we should get going. Right Sasuke?" Before the young dragon could say anything before Itachi covered his mouth and forced him to nod. Kira walked up and asked,

"Aren't you going to stay?"

"Well, I…" Gods be damned if those eyes weren't heart-breakers, "We would love to, but we have a lot to do today."

"Aw…" Everyone groaned and you could feel the atmosphere plummet before Itachi groaned, "Fine."

All the demons of the farm cheered as they prepared to have one hell of a lunch.

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><p>"<em>Oh man!<em>" Sasuke whooped as he strolled down the road, patting his stomach, "If _that_ is what food for regular demons is like, sign me up!" As a dragon, he could eat at _least_ five times his body-weight a day without any problems. He licked his lips before looking behind him and seeing Itachi wobble his way down the road.

"Ugh…" The weasel-demon groaned, "I ate too much…" Sasuke chuckled as he unrolled the preparation guide and read,

"Next on the list is water-watch."

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><p>The two dark-haired demons arrived at the beach to check on the water-watch progress. For places close to a large source of water, like Adamant Falls, water-watch was very important. Whichever demons were on this duty had to make sure that the water was safe and still for all others because the condition of the water also affected the weather. Itachi groaned at the heat, asking, "I don't see anyone here. And it's so <em>damned<em> hot!" Sasuke hummed,

"There's supposed to be a water-demon named Hoshigaki Kisame here to check on the waters." Itachi looked out on the water, seeing multiple whirlpools and choppy waves disrupting the water's beauty.

"Well, _someone's_ being lazy." The brunette weasel huffed. Suddenly,

"_Oi..!"_ The voice was echoed, as if being diluted by something before it called out, _"Who are you..! Calling lazy..?"_ Itachi and Sasuke looked around, not seeing anyone. Itachi frowned and called out,

"Look, I don't know or care who you are, but if you could please help us find Hoshigaki Kisame?" The deep voice chuckled from beneath the waves,

"_No need… To find him… He – I mean – I'm already… Here…"_

"Well, at least we found him." Sasuke observed, but Itachi quickly stomped over to the water's edge and yelled out,

"Listen to me, you irresponsible ass! I am Uchiha Itachi and the ten celestials have sent me to check on the progress of Adamant Falls' Sun Harvest Festival. Could you please just do your job and clear the waters?" Kisame's voice was silent for a moment before it laughed and said,

"_That's what… you're being… bitchy about..? I could do… water-watch in… my sleep. In fact… it would only take… 90 seconds…"_

"Why aren't you taking this seriously?", Itachi gritted out, the voice answering,

"_Need… practice…"_

"For what?"

"_Lord Sanbi's Royal Guard..!"_ Sasuke, who had been picking up random seashells and things, asked,

"You mean the group of the most powerful demons in the world who work and train under Sanbi No Same himself?" Itachi could only laugh,

"They would never accept a demon who can hardly keep the water's clear for a single day." Kisame growled out,

"_90… seconds… flat…"_, just for Itachi to raise an eyebrow,

"Prove it."

The area was silent for a moment before, out of nowhere, powerful geysers shot up out of the waters before they would submerge and shoot up in other areas. When the geysers shot up for a third time, Sasuke gulped and jumped out of the way before a wave of water splashed over Itachi, drenching him to the bone. After a while of this spectacle, the ocean waters were clear and flawless, Kisame stating,

"_There… And only in 60 seconds… What do you think of that..?"_ Itachi could only stand there, a combination of cold and shock causing him to be silent. _"You're funny, Itachi…"_ Kisame laughed, _"I can't wait… to talk more… See ya…"_ After that, the area was still, signaling that Kisame had swam off.

Itachi looked to his side when he heard snickering and saw Sasuke laughing at his hair. "Shut.. up.. Sasuke!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**TG- Okay, time to shoot myself in the foot. **

**About a month ago, I saw a scene of a show used in a remix of the 'This is Sparta' meme. It made me grow an interest and look up the show that the scene came from and I have been hooked ever since. **

**That show… Was 'My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic'. **

**Hidan- The fuck? **

**TG- Yes, this was inspired by the new-age revamp of the old-school cartoon (which is being developed by the same person who created 'Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends) and after watching it, I found that this show was created for an adult demographic. Some of the issues that they touch upon… Oh boy. ( 1 ) In the show, dragons can send letters via flame. **

**Hidan- It's a show about skittles-over dosing ponies, for Jashin's sake! **

**TG- Where are Kisame and Itachi? **

**Hidan- They're in Moscow visiting Russia, thanks to Kisame and Russia's bromance. **

**TG- Ah… So yeah. Please review if you like where I'm going with this!**


	2. Social Life? What's That? Part 2

**A/N: **

**Oh, something I forgot to mention! The time-period for this piece is… nonexistent, let's say. It may seem like the past, but the characters have certain conveniences akin to the present day. **

**Kind of like the actual Naruto anime! **

**Disclaimer- Nothing but my imagination is mine, people. Oh, except a Russia-cosplay outfit that my Mommy made for me. And yes I just said 'mommy', deal with it!**

* * *

><p>"Next up, decorations…" Sasuke stated as the two brothers walked up to the regal-looking building in the center of town. "The Head Offices of Adamant Falls are where we should find…" Sasuke's voice trailed off as he looked ahead into the main hall. His red eyes widened as he whispered, "Beautiful…" Itachi looked around the room, not remembering his soaked body, in awe of the colorful banners and painted walls… the statues and fixtures… the sheer ambience.<p>

"Yes," Itachi smiled, "The decorations are coming along nicely."

"To hell with the decorations!" Sasuke interjected before pointing into the hall, "I'm talking about _him_!" Sasuke's eyes had practically leaped out of his head to embrace the young blonde fox-demon in the room's center. His golden hair was messy, managing to cover his orange tipped fox-ears, and his skin was a gorgeous caramel-tan only marred by the whisker-marks on his cheeks. Two fluffed, orange-tipped tails whisked about from his backside as he whined, blue eyes pleading,

"Ne… Can I go now? I was supposed to go home and _hour_ ago, guys!"

"Just a minute, un," another blonde chirped. His corn-yellow blonde hair was long enough to rest against his back, some of it being held in a pony-tail and some more of it flipping over in a bang that covered one of his baby-blue eyes. Besides him, a princely-looking red-haired demon whipped various pieces of fabric away as he compared them to the fabric on the fox-demon's body.

"No, no, no – Oh, gods, no!" The red-head snapped before giving a sharp hiss, the fabrics all floating away. At the sight of the pouting younger blonde, however, Sasuke immediately began preening himself,

"How do I look? Is my hair okay? How are my clothes?" Itachi shook his head at Sasuke's antics and walked forward, calling out,

"Excuse me?"

"Just a moment please!" The red-head replied before the blonde added,

"We're in the zone, un!" Itachi could only watch as the long-haired blonde tied a silken ribbon together and the redhead glazed it over in a clear polish.

"There, if it shines then it must be good, am I right?" The red-haired demon sighed in content. "Now, how may we help – OH DEAR GODS!" Both the blonde and the red-head shrieked, latching onto each other as they saw Itachi's disheveled appearance. Itachi only groaned,

"Look, I know that it's pretty bad. But if I could just check on your progress, I'll get out of your hair."

"Out of _our_ hair?" Deidara looked at Sasori in sheer horror before both demons grabbed Itachi and began to pull him out of the main hall, the weasel-demon trying in vain to get them to let go. Sasuke was too busy going after another venture…

"Hello there." The young dragon began as he strolled over to the young fox-demon's side.

"Oh!" The young blonde replied, "Haven't seen you around before. I'm Uzumaki Naruto."

"Uchiha Sasuke." Sasuke introduced himself, struck still at the blonde's smile…

For a full, painfully awkward five minutes.

"Um…" Naruto's ears twitched as he looked around nervously. Finally he announced, "I have errands to run. You know, the Festival is tomorrow… Nice to meet you Sasuke.", before he shifted his form into that of a thigh-high sized blonde fox with two tails and bounded off.

"Beautiful…" Sasuke sighed before he shook his head and called out, "Do you want to go out—Oh! Damn it!", when he realized that the fox-demon was gone.

* * *

><p>"No."<p>

"No."

"No."

"Uh-uh." In a house that looked like it had popped right out of a recent home-design catalog, Itachi was being pulled between the two demons from before (whose names turned out to be Sasori and Deidara); each of them quickly dressing him in a new outfit before the other pulled the brunette back to try again.

"Too springy!" Sasori commented after Deidara put Itachi in a flower-embroidered dress.

"Too yellow!" Deidara huffed when Sasori put a gold-feathered suit on the brunette.

"Too poofy!" Deidara tried a cloud inspired tank-top and short combo.

"Too porno!" Sasori chastised when Deidara put Itachi in a school-girl outfit.

"Too regal!" Itachi was put in an outfit becoming British royalty before Deidara ripped it off and dressed him in a red kimono that rested just above his knees: the fashion of Adamant Falls.

"You were telling us where you're from?" Sasori asked as he went to tie the matching obi. But he was tying it just a _bit_ too tight to the point that Itachi could barely choke out,

"Ko…No… Ha."

"KONOHA?" Both Sasori and Deidara exclaimed as they rushed towards each other and held hands, stars in their eyes. Sasori smiled, "I am so envious! The glamour—"

"The sophistication—"

"We've always _dreamed_ of living there!" Sasori beamed as Deidara prepared more items for their make-over; placing a topaz tiara on the brunette's head. "You have to tell us all about it one of these days!" Itachi wanted to mention the decorations again, but he was quickly grabbed up into a group hug; Deidara sighing,

"Oh! We are going to be the _best_ of friends, un!" Itachi could only watch the other two with wide, uncertain eyes before Sasori looked at him and gasped,

"Ugh! Topaz! What were we thinking?"

"He should have rubies, un!" After Deidara said that, Sasori too the blonde demon's hands in his own and stared deep into his eyes,

"It's times like this that remind me why I fell in love with you in the first place.", before they rushed to the back of their work-room. At that moment, Sasuke slumped into the house after his failure with Naruto, just to be grabbed as Itachi rushed out, panting,

"Let's get out of here before they decide to give me a rainbow mani-pedi!"

* * *

><p>"Wasn't he wonderful?" Sasuke swooned as he walked.<p>

"Focus with your big head and not your little one, Sasuke!" Itachi groaned, trying to get used to wearing something that barely covered his legs, "What's next?" Sasuke unrolled the list, reading,

"Music. And it's the last one."

"Thank the gods!" Itachi gasped as he pulled a lovesick Sasuke down the road.

* * *

><p>The forest surrounding Adamant Falls was surprisingly dense for a beachwaterfall town. The only reason Itachi and Sasuke knew where to go was because of the chorus of beautiful singing that was drifting through the air. They quietly walked through the trees until they saw a green-haired male with white, _white_ skin standing in the middle of a vast group of birds. He was singing, and with every note he sang, his beautiful voice caused the birds to sing back en mass.

There was just one blue jay that couldn't seem to get into the swing of things

"Oh! Oh my, um… Everyone, please stop." He fidgeted with his fingers a bit before gently walking up to the blue jay and saying, "Sir, pardon me but you're a tad bit off rhythm today. Oh, nothing wrong with it, I just wanted to let you know." The blue jay nodded before the green-haired demon gave a soft smile, "Take two everyone. Three, two, one, and—"

"Hello there!"

"Ah!" At the sound of Itachi's voice, the green-haired male whipped around as his birds flew away.

"Sorry, so sorry! I didn't mean to scare the birds away. I've been sent to check on Festival preparations and your music sounded _beautiful_!" Itachi felt a little guilty at the frightened expression that the other was giving him, so he tried to be a bit gentler as he introduced himself, "My name is Uchiha Itachi. What's yours?"

The strange, extremely shy demon tapped his foot at the ground before he whispered, "My… um… it's… Z..su…"

"What was that?" Itachi asked.

"My name is… Zet..u…"

"Didn't quite catch that." Itachi gave a nervous chuckle, the other male withdrawing even further into himself with a small whimper,

"…" Trying to keep an outburst from coming out, Itachi smiled and stated,

"So… everything looks fine here. Oh, and your birds came back. I'll just be going now, keep up the good work! Sasuke, let's go!" However, as soon as Itachi pulled his brother over, the green-haired demon's yellow eyes wet wide before he spoke,

"Dragon? Dragon! DRAGON!" Itachi could barely breathe before a vine shot out of the ground and shoved him away, the green-haired demon rushing up to Sasuke and speaking in awe,

"Such regal horns, shiny scales, and royal disposition!" Sasuke smirked,

"Oh, I like this guy already."

"Such a wonderful voice… I never thought that something like that could come from a dragon…" Before the new demon could say anything more, Itachi began to pull Sasuke down the road,

"Let's go Sasuke!"

"So, his name is Sasuke? A beautiful name. My name is Zetsu." Zetsu followed the other two like a shadow as he spoke on, "So, what do dragons talk about in those gorgeous voices of yours?" Sasuke shrugged,

"What do you want to know?", Zetsu sighing,

"Absolutely _everything_…"

"Ugh…" Itachi groaned, giving himself a face-palm.

"..And that's my entire life." The sun was just beginning to nestle into the mountains as Sasuke finished up his tale, Zetsu listening in sheer admiration while Itachi was frowning up a storm. "Up until today that is. Do you want to hear about today?" Zetsu nodded,

"Yes please…"

"Well! Would you look at that!" Itachi laughed, grabbing Sasuke close to him and stating, "Here we are. The library. Where we'll be staying. And Sasuke should really get to bed, being so young and all."

"I'm only two years younger than-!" As soon as Sasuke spoke, Itachi knocked him on the head, sending him to the ground.

"He can't even stand up, poor thing…"

"Oh my," Zetsu whispered, helping Sasuke to his feet, "He should get to bed immediately—"

"Which is exactly what I was thinking!" Itachi quickly pulled Sasuke away from Zetsu and shoved him through the library's doors before saying a quick 'bye' and slamming the door. When they found themselves in the darkened library, Sasuke gave a quick scoff of,

"Has anyone told you that you're the epitome of rude, aniki?"

"Well, I'm sorry!" Itachi clipped back, "But the celestials need to be informed of the Tsukuyomi Prophecy! And _I_ need to be in a place where I can at least breathe without a bunch of bat-shit crazy demons trying to make friends!" The older Uchiha took time for a breather before he looked around, "Now, where are the lights?"

All of a sudden the room was bathed in light, revealing what had to be the entire Adamant Falls population gathered in the library with food, drink, and decorations befitting a party.

"SURPRISE!" They all shouted, nearly causing Itachi a heart-attack before releasing balloons and streamers into the air.

"Gods, why do you hate me?" Itachi groaned.

"Surprise!" That call came from Tobi, who quickly walked over while tugging Zetsu along with him. "Hi Itachi! Hi Sasuke! It's me, Tobi!"

"Hi Tobi…" Both brothers replied back before the younger demon beamed,

"So..? Do you love it? Tobi threw this party just for you guys, since that's what Tobi is good at," while he was waving his arm, his kimono sleeve had drifted down, revealing that his hand was covered in brightly colored markings shaped like firework explosions, "Throwing parties! Were you surprised? Were you? Were you? Were you?" Itachi groaned again, not missing his cousin's spastic behavior in the least,

"_Very_ surprised… Aren't libraries supposed to be _quiet_?"

"Silly! What kind of party would that be?" Tobi laughed before tugging Zetsu into the conversation, "This is Zetsu! Say hi, Zetsu-san!"

"We've met." Was Itachi, Sasuke, and Zetsu's response.

"Oh…" Tobi blinked before he nodded, "Then have you met Kakuzu and Hidan?", he quickly brought the two farm-working demons over.

"Yes…"

"Sasori and Deidara?" The two fashinistos waved at Itachi, who groaned back,

"Yes…"

"Okay! Then have you met…" Tobi trailed off when the front door opened, revealing someone who actually managed to make Itachi speechless.

In the good way.

He was tall, dark, and handsome in every sense of the word: his grand broad stature, covered in thick corded muscle that was displayed due to lack of a shirt (oh, and he had just come from a swim if the water droplets cascading down his wave-tattooed chest was any indication), his cobalt-shaded skin that matched his dark blue hair, and his striking, black eyes…

Itachi could have sworn that he was drooling, especially when his eyes trailed down to the new demon's waist where his pants rode low, showing the beginning of hair and –

"Tobi!" His voice ruined it. Tobi laughed as he rushed over and said,

"Have you met Kisame?"

"Oh, have we met." Itachi gritted out, Kisame immediately chuckling,

"Oh, you're the bitchy demon from earlier!"

"I need a drink!" Itachi snapped, stomping over to the main table which held bottles upon bottles of different alcoholic beverages. Itachi promptly began to mix all of the ones he could reach in a single glass. The rage in him was built up so much that he didn't realize that one of the jars he added in wasn't alcohol, but grade-A wasabi paste. He chugged half of it down, trying to get rid of the thoughts on how ruggedly handsome Kisame was and how those dark eyes occasionally sent a predatory glance his way, before he choked; his face going red.

"Aniki," Sasuke asked, "You okay?" Itachi choked and immediately rushed upstairs, trying to find water to douse the flames. "Maybe I should check on hi – Hello!" Sasuke's mind was immediately side-tracked when Naruto came into the party through the window. The dragon rushed over and greeted, "Good evening, Naruto."

"Oh, hi Sasuke."

* * *

><p>It was late into the night, going on 4 AM, and the library was still party-central; music pounding up into Itachi's bedroom. The door abruptly opened, revealing,<p>

"Aniki~!" Sasuke slurred out, obviously drunk on something, "Deidara and Hidan introduced me to something called 'Jell-O-shots'! They're awesome! You want in?"

"NO!" Itachi growled out, "All the demons in this town are _insane_! Doesn't anyone know what time it is?" Sobering up miraculously fast, Sasuke remembered,

"It's the eve of the Sun Harvest Festival, aniki. Everyone stays up in order to see a glimpse of Amaterasu-sama as she and the celestials renew the sun." When Itachi merely pulled the covers over his head again, Sasuke frowned, "It's a party, Itachi. Learn to lighten up."

"'Learn to lighten up~'." Itachi mocked as Sasuke walked out. The young weasel-demon flopped back onto his bed and sighed, "All I wanted to do was help the celestials keep things in balance. Is it so wrong that friend-making isn't part of that? Gods!" Itachi quickly got up from bed and looked out of the window to see the full moon. He could almost see a man's face in it as he gazed upon the beautiful celestial body.

"'Legend has it that after 1000 years of being forced into the darkness of memory, Tsukuyomi will harness the powers of the stars above and reach forth towards the land and exact his wrath once more.'" Itachi recited from memory as he saw the stars shining especially bright that night.

"I hope that Rokubi-sama is right about this." The brunette sighed before he went back to lie down…

* * *

><p>Which lasted all of an hour before Sasuke burst back into the room, saying, "Aniki, it's time."<p>

* * *

><p>In the main hall of the central Adamant Falls building, everyone had gathered to see the Sun Harvest Festival start. Itachi stood by Sasuke, who was still trying to talk to Naruto without sounding like an unsocial bastard. Out of nowhere, Tobi rushed over and latched onto Zetsu, laughing, "Tobi's so excited!" Zetsu calmly asked,<p>

"Tobi-chan, could you please let go of my arm?" When he was freed, Zetsu proceeded to start the birds' musical score as a busty, blonde demoness walked to center-stage and announced,

"Ladies and gentlemen, as mayor of Adamant Falls, it gives me great pleasure to introduce the ten benevolent spirits who watch over our world…"

"Ready everyone?" Zetsu whispered to the birds before Tsunade announced,

"The Ten Celestial Beings!" The curtains in front of the hall were opened, everyone looking on in expectation…

Before gasps of shock filled the hall upon seeing an empty stage.

"This can't be happening." Itachi whispered before Tsunade gulped and spoke,

"Remain calm everyone. I'm sure there's a good reason for the delay…"

"Oh!" Tobi jumped up, "Like a guessing game? Tobi loves games!" Immediately, Kisame (who was on security-watch for the event) rushed up to the stage and looked around and called out,

"They aren't here!" As everyone was muttering in unease, Kisame whisked away the back-stage curtain. "What the hell?"

There were the ten celestials. But the ten beings were petrified in stone, permanently stuck in poses of shock and horror.

"No…" Itachi mouthed out, shaking his head as everything sunk in. The fearful atmosphere was exacerbated, however, when the temperature plunged down into frigid.

"The hell, un?" Deidara whined, being a bird-demon not good for cold weather. He shifted into the form of a gorgeous yellow bird before flying up to the highest window and looking outside, immediately letting out a horrified squawk.

Before anyone could ask, the doors swung open, allowing all to see what was happening to the world outside.

The moon had quadrupled in size, looming over the world, and it seemed to be pouring a deep, dark substance onto the world.

"Zetsu-san!" Tobi screamed, hiding behind the plant-demon, "Tobi's scared, what's going on?" As the screams of fear increased, Kisame and Kakuzu rushed over to stand in front of the main group, as to defend them from whatever. Suddenly, there was a booming voice from the sky,

"_MY DEAR CHILDREN…" _Deidara fainted from his flight, Sasori having to catch him as he shifted back into his normal form. _"SUCH A JOY TO SEE YOUR FACES ONCE MORE…"_ Kisame growled, reaching behind his back and holding a large, blue sword in front of him,

"What have you done to Sanbi-sama?"

"Ahem." Kakuzu cleared his throat, gesturing to the other _nine_ petrified celestials on stage.

"And the other celestials?" Kisame quickly added.

"_SO, THOSE WRETCHED BEASTS COUNT MORE THAN A GOD, NOW OF DAYS?" _The voice boomed down, shaking the building, _"MY POWERS MEAN __**NOTHING**__ DUE TO MY ABSENCE?"_ Suddenly, a whirl of wind flew through the hall; immediate effecting demons who were temperature sensitive. Zetsu collapsed to the floor, shivering,

"Too cold…", before Tobi desperately tried to get him up, screaming,

"Zetsu!" The voice huffed before continuing,

"_JUST LIKE I THOUGHT… I HAVE BEEN FORCED INTO THE DIM PARTS OF MEMORY…"_ That was around the time when demons started to flee the scene,_ "NO ONE REMEMBERS MY RITUALS… NO ONE REMEMBERS MY PART OF THE LEGENDS OF OLD…"_

"I do!" Itachi called out, pushing Sasuke and Naruto behind him, "And I know who you are!" Sasuke could only gulp,

"Aniki, be careful…"

"You are the god of the moon and ruler of night," Itachi narrowed his eyes, "Tsukuyomi." Everyone gasped, some screaming in horror as the dark entity chuckled,

"_HM… SOMEONE REMEMBERS ME. THEN YOU MUST KNOW WHY I'M HERE."_

"You're here to," Itachi gulped, "To take back the world that rejected you."

"_REMEMBER THIS DAY, LITTLE DEMONS… IT WAS YOUR LAST!" "FROM TODAY ON, NIGHT SHALL REIGN FOREVER!"_ That statement was accompanied by dark storm clouds crawling forth from the horizon, the sound of thunder and flashes of lightening making everyone fear the worst…

* * *

><p><strong>AN: To those people who might be confused about my use of Zetsu. For this point of the fiction, I'm using white-Zetsu who is, as you've seen, extremely shy. Just wanted to clear up some confusion. **

**Please review. **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	3. Of Darkest Night Part 1

**A/N: **

**TG- Oh my… Wow! Such a good turn-out! And I didn't get any hate! That's even more awesome! I just want to take the time to thank Zetsu's rose, Alexa Hiwatari, LightOfTheUniverse, FMJ26, XxTaintedxDaggerxX, and my anonymous reviewers CL1005 and lo. **

**Big thanks to LightOfTheUniverse for pointing out my mistake in the first chapter, you know, in the legend. And a shout-out to Zetsu's rose for pointing out a good hint about Zetsu's personality in this fic. **

**Okay, you guys have been waiting long enough, let's go! **

**Disclaimer- I don't own any rights to Naruto or My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. They belong to Masashi Kishimoto and Lauren Faust respectively.**

* * *

><p>"Return the celestials to their normal state at once!" Tsunade yelled out, Tsukuyomi laughing,<p>

"_AND WHAT WILL YOU DO, TINY ONE?"_, before he sent a series of lightning bolts to the ground. _"ENJOY YOUR NIGHT, CHILDREN!"_ Tsukuyomi boomed out before all was abruptly still.

"Wait!" Kisame called out, rushing out the doorway to hunt the god down. But Tsukuyomi was already gone. "Night?"

"Forever?" Kakuzu gulped as he caught up to the shark demon, "I can't run a farm by moonlight, Kisame!" Kisame looked upon the ever-darkening landscape, but he blinked when he saw Itachi and Sasuke rushing back to the library.

"Where the hell are _they_ going?" He asked, gesturing for Kakuzu to follow him back inside.

* * *

><p>"Anything yet Itachi?" Sasuke asked as he skimmed through two books at once. Itachi's response was a silent one as he used his chakra to bring down any book that merely referenced Tsukuyomi.<p>

"Come on!" He yelled, "One of these books has to have the key to stopping Tsukuyomi! Gods, why didn't I say anything before?" Itachi was about to grab another pile of books when, out of nowhere, he was forced up against the wall by a blur of blue.

"Traitor!" Kisame growled, pinning Itachi against the wall with his powerful forearm. "You're an accomplice of Tsukuyomi, aren't you?" You could feel the room's tension right then, Sasuek shifting into dragon-form, ready to defend his brother. Just before a fight could break out, however, Kisame's eyes shut as he groaned out in pain from a pale, clawed hand pinching one of his fringed ears.

"Ow, ow, ow!" Kisame growled out, "Damn it Hidan!" Sure enough, Kakuzu, Hidan, Sasori, Deidara, Zetsu, and Tobi had walked into the library: Hidan tugging on the bluenette's ear.

"Now, none of that." Hidan frowned before he let go, "He's not the enemy here."

"But he _does_ know a lot about what's going on…" Sasori stated, everyone's attention going straight to the young brunette in the room. Itachi sighed before he spoke,

"I had been researching the tale of Amaterasu and Tsukuyomi before I was sent out here. I was so close to finding a way to stop this but I was stopped mid-study-"

"'The Tome of Tsukuyomi'," Tobi announced as he picked up a thick, blue and purple book, "'A Guide to the Ups and Downs of the Moon God's Legend'-"

"Give me that!" Itachi shoved Tobi away, grabbing the book and skimming through it, asking, "How did you find this?" Tobi laughed,

"Just because Tobi failed his entrance-exams doesn't mean that Tobi's dumb!" Everyone only blinked before Itachi stopped on a certain page and read,

"'It has been said that only upon realization of how the world truly thinks of him, will the god Tsukuyomi undo his curse. It was in the form of the Harvest Eve Sacrifices performed on the Moonlit Summit that this truth would come to light.'"

"Well, that settles it, un!" Deidara smiled, "We just have to give Tsukuyomi a gift and then he'll leave us alone!"

"It's not that easy," Itachi interrupted, "Tsukuyomi will only except offerings that are worthy in his eyes, including: 'something pure cut with something holy, a fodder that is irresistible, and the chime of true amicability.'"

"What the hell are those?" Hidan asked. Itachi could only sigh,

"I don't know. It seems to be a riddle of some sort. But the main point is finding these items and bringing them to the Moonlit Summit."

"Ne… That's quite a trip," Kisame sighed, scratching at the back of his head, "Moonlit Summit is way up in the mountains over-looking Adamant. And with the darkness encroaching on us, I don't know how harsh of a climb it would be." There were mutters all around that were only broken when Itachi shut the book with a loud crack.

"Look, I'm glad that you all wish to help me… But I really think that me and Sasuke should handle this."

"The hell you will!" Hidan yowled, "Like I could let anyone go on a hazardous trip like this? My maternal-side would never allow it!" The cat-demon stopped for a second before he exclaimed, "Wait a minute! I didn't mean—"

"The point is," Sasori stepped up to explain, "We couldn't rest if we allowed someone to go out there alone, Itachi."

"That's why we're going to help you save the ten celestials!" Kisame exclaimed, holding his left hand that was covered in a blue and white wave design out, "Come on, let's agree to come together on this!" Deidara nodded and put his hand in, the mark of a phoenix rising from colored ashes marking his hand. Sasori put his hand in, a jewled scorpion joining the mix, before Kakuzu and Hidan added theirs, a gold and green yen symbol and a scarlet scythe.

Tobi pulled Zetsu to join in, fireworks and a venus fly-trap being added before Sasuke walked over and put his blue-flame decorated hand in, whispering, "We could use all the help we could get, aniki." Itachi looked around, unease filling him before he finally sighed,

"Fine…", placing his hand in the group.

* * *

><p>They decided to go back to their homes, each thinking that they had something that Tsukuyomi might like and agreeing to come back to the library in a few minutes. Itachi was carefully holding onto the book on Tsukuyomi while Sasuke kept watch. His red eyes blinked when he looked over and announced, "Hey they came back and –" He trailed off in a gasp as he saw Naruto walking behind Kisame. The dragon rushed over, immediately speaking, "Are you okay? You're not hurt are you? Do you need anything?" Naruto blinked, readjusting the package in his hands,<p>

"No… I think I'm fine…" Itachi shook his head, looking upon the rest of the group.

"So," the weasel-demon began, "What did we come up with?"

"First up," Hidan called out, "'Something pure', right?"

"What's purer than a baby lamb?" Kakuzu asked, holding up a white lamb who bleated upon being so far up from the ground.

"Next." Itachi asked, feeling a bit for the poor creature. Kisame stepped up and had Naruto hold out the package. "What's that?"

"That," Kisame smiled, "Is the Sacred blade that was made by Sanbi No Same himself eons ago. It's a treasure that has been passed down through my family for generations upon generations upon generations upon –"

"Okay!" Itachi snapped, "We get it!" Only one thing left. Itachi sighed before asking, "And the third item..?"

"Ooh! Ooh! Tobi's got it!" Tobi called out before holding up a basket filled to the brim with sweet things. "These are some of the most expensive things from Tobi's bakery! And they're the most yummy too!"

"I'm not sure if that counts, Tobi…" Zetsu gave a small chuckle before Itachi shook his head, stating,

"Look, it should be fine. But we have to go now!"

"Right!" Everyone more than agreed that the less time that was spent in this darkness, the better. They began the path to the mountains, Kisame and Zetsu leading the way well-known from day-to-day work.

Yet, even as they walked into the face of danger, Sasuke paced his steps so that he was able to talk to the blonde fox-demon. "So, you know Kisame?"

"Mm-hm!" Naruto nodded before swishing his two tails a bit, "I'm working as his assistant so that I can hurry up and grow the rest of my tails."

"Oh." The young dragon let his eyes trail over the vibrant, fluffy tails before asking, "You're trying to become a kyuubi..?"

* * *

><p>"So…" Itachi gulped as the group carefully traversed the heavily covered mountain-range, "None of you have been in here before?"<p>

"Of course not!" Sasori bit his lip, making sure that Deidara was within arm's reach, "I mean, just look at it!"

"It's dreadful, un!" Deidara whimpered, his blue eyes constantly looking around the darkened woods.

"People say that the flora and fauna here work differently than in our world…" Zetsu whispered, keeping within the light that Naruto and Sasuke produced. Both being demons of fire, they were on light duty.

"How?"

"Nobody knows…" Kisame smirked, Hidan immediately hissing,

"Cut it out!" But Kakuzu joined in, saying,

"No one who has gone into these woods has _ever_ come out!" As soon as the stitch-demon said those words, a vicious crack of lightening shot down from the sky; causing the ledge that the demons were walking across to crumble and break apart, those who were standing to immediately fall into a swift, screaming descent…

Except for Deidara and Sasuke who had shifted into dragon and bird-form, Zetsu who had managed to grab onto a handful of vines from the ground, and Kisame who had stabbed his sword into the ground and was hanging on for dear life.

"No! Deidara, Sasuke, Zetsu! Come on!" The shark-demon called out before allowing himself to slide down the hill, Sasuke and Deidara flying after while Zetsu whispered,

"Oh my… Hold on!", the vines growing rapidly to lower him down the mountain side. Kisame grabbed hold of Kakuzu and Sasori before using his sword to slow their fall, while Zetsu caught Tobi and Deidara and Sasuke managed to save Naruto.

But Itachi and Hidan kept sliding downhill. After a while of getting scratched up, Hidan snapped his fingers, causing his trusty scythe to appear. The blade caught into the dirt, causing Hidan to finaly stop. Itachi, however, slid lower and lower before he stopped at the precipice of the cliff.

"Help me!" He cried out, his claws struggling for a hold in the dirt. Everyone's arms were tied, they couldn't even move without risking the whole reaction starting over. But Hidan looked to his scythe and then back at the frightened demon below before he loosened the scythe's hold, sliding towards Itachi before he settled it into the soil and called out,

"Grab my hand!" Itachi immediately grabbed the offered safety-line, asking,

"What do I do now?"

"I'm thinking…" Hidan groaned, looking around for a moment before his ruby eyes dilated into slits: allowing him a more intent look around. He gasped as he gazed into the darkness below and then said two words: "Let go."

"You're insane aren't you?" Itachi scoffed back, "Why the hell would I even consider—?"

"Listen to me," Hidan spoke in as calm a voice as he could muster, "What I say here is the honest to gods truth: you will be completely fine if you let go of my hand. I promise."

Itachi didn't know what else to do, his heart was pounding and he was so afraid. But Hidan's voice and manner were reassuring him, so he had to at least try right? What did he have to lose?

Oh right, his life.

Itachi took a deep breath and, after looking at Hidan once more before letting go and screaming as he fell down, down, down…

Into a pile of leaves.

"What?" Itachi whipped his head around, hardly believing his luck. He gave a huge sigh of relief as the others slow began to join him at the base of the mountain, watching with a small smile as Hidan carefully pawed his way down in the shape of a white-cat.

* * *

><p>They had managed to climb back up the mountain, making sure to keep a careful eye out for anything suspicious. "It's really quiet." Kisame stated, sniffing out the air in precaution.<p>

"Too quiet," Zetsu added, "There are at least _some_ animals who come out at night." The group walked on again, trying to keep as much of a positive air as they could—

There was a resounding boom as a large mass jumped in front of them. It was an off-mahognay shade, with the growling head and torso of a lion, the wings of a bat, and a scorpion's tail. The beast narrowed it's eyes before letting out a huge roar, Naruto screaming,

"Manticore!"

"Come on guys!" Kisame announced, wielding his sword, "We've got to get past this thing somehow!" Everyone then immediately went on the attack, only Zetsu staying behind and merely looking at the furious creature.

The manticore charged towards the demons, it's course aiming towards Deidara before the bird-demon slid underneath it; causing it to trip and fall onto the floor.

"Ha!" The blonde laughed, "Take _that_, you brute!" Abruptly, the beast shot up and roared in the blonde's face, the force and drool behind the action causing the blonde's hair to poof and frizz up. His eyes welled up in tears before he screamed, "My hair, un!" Just before the manticore swung one of his paws, Sasori rushed to get the blonde out of the way,

"Yes, sweetheart, I know it's a tragedy, but it would be even more so if that beast ate you!" As the fight went on, Zetsu tried to call out,

"Wait please." But it went unheeded as Kakuzu grabbed Hidan and, in a practiced motion, threw him up in the air to land on the manticore's back.

"I've broken bulls bigger than you!" Hidan smirked as the manticore began lashing about. Kakuzu reached behind himelf and brought forth a length of rope that he immediately tried to use to subdue the beast. "Ha! Looks like the fucker couldn't take—" The manticore's tail shot forth and ripped the rope apart before the monster bucked Hidan off of it's back.

"Didn't see that coming—Oomph!" Kakuzu was interrupted when Hidan landed on him, the brunette groaning out, "All yours Kisame." Kisame went in, sword blazing, as he tried to slay the beast, Zetsu whispering,

"Wait." After a few failed slashes, the Manticore swiped his paw and sent Kisame flying,

"Fuck!" It finally came down to a last ditch effort: everyone preparing to bum-rush the beast. A few seconds later, they prepared their assault and-

"Wait!" Zetsu yelled, stopping everyone in their tracks. He turned and calmly walked towards the snarling beast, whispering, "Good eve, Master Manticore. How does the night find you?" The manticore blinked before growling and putting his paw forth, revealing a thick thorn that had broken the flesh all the way to the bone. "Oh dear, that is quite the thorn." Everyone watched on in disbelief as Zetsu managed to get the creature relaxed and sitting down before he pulled at the thorn, "This will sting for just a second." _Ping!_

The manticore roared, whisking Zetsu up in its heavy arms. "Zetsu!" Everyoen called out, but were genuinely surprised when the manticore only licked at the green-haired demon's face; like a grateful pup. "Oh, don't think too much of it."

"We should go now…" Naruto whispered, the others quickly sneaking past the demon and the manticore. Itachi was the last person to pass, moving when Zetsu had been lowered back to the ground.

"How did you..?" Itachi asked as Zetsu walked by, straightening his hair, "The thorn..?"

"I didn't." Zetsu smiled, "Kindness is sometimes better than knife-play…"

* * *

><p>"Okay, honestly!" Deidara pouted, "My eyes need a rest from all this ugliness!" He would have kept complaining too, if they almost didn't fall into a churning, boiling river. "Oh, can a demon catch a break, un?"<p>

"Great," Sasuke frowned, "How do we cross this?"

Before an idea forum could be established, the sound of crying and sobbing could be heard. "Um, hello?" Itachi called out as they followed the sound of tears. They led to the widest part of the river where a long, blue-scaled, red-fringed water dragon was sobbing and thrashing about in the water.

"What a cruel, _heartless_ world we live in! Wah~!"

"Why are you crying?" Itachi yelled out, trying to get the dragon's attention. The water-dragon blinked before moving down and sniffled,

"You tell me! _I_ was just lounging here, minding my own business when this tacky little bolt of lightening struck down and singed my coiffure…" He pointed to his burnt scalp, "Clean off my head!" Tears welled up in his eyes before he sobbed, "And now I'm _hideous_!" Sasuke silently groaned,

"Gods, I hope that I don't turn out like him.", but Kakuzu rolled his eyes,

"Could you quit being a pussy and let us –" His rant was cut off when Sasori cleared his throat and announced,

"This is a job," he and Deidara came together and, after clapping their hands together performed a pose that just screamed fabulousness, "For the fashinistos!"

"Poor thing, un!" Deidara cooed, walking up to the dragon and gesturing for it to lower its head, "Such a crime this is indeed, right danna?"

"Oh yes," Sasori nodded, taking his satchel down and rummaging through it, "Such gorgeous scales and no longer any luscious strands to accompany them?" The dragon pouted and nodded in agreement,

"I know, right?"

"Who does your claws?" Deidara regarded the dragon's shining claws with awe, "They're simply divine, un!"

"You noticed!" The dragon gushed, causing Sasuke to, once again, groan,

"Seriously. Me. End up like that. Stab me."

"All ruined," Sasori sighed, bringing out a comb and some hair products, "Without that lovely hair."

"It's true~!" The dragon sobbed, splashing back into the water.

"We can _not_ allow this, danna!" Deidara narrowed his eyes, Sasori agreeing wholeheartedly before they both rushed forward and began a series of snips, cuts, color applications, and all-around overhauls before they soon came to an impasse.

"I don't have enough to work with here…" Sasori whispered, clenching his hands into fists as a sense of failure filled him. "This can't be… How could I let such a crime of fabulousness go uncorrected? Am I a failure? I—"

_Snip! Snip!_

Everyone gasped, Sasori especially, when they saw that Deidara had cut off the major part of his vibrant blonde locks, leaving only a short bit that barely covered the back of his neck, and handed it to the red-haired demon. "Deidara…" Sasori whispered in shock. But Deidara shook his head,

"It's for the greater good, un," pushing the hair into Sasori's hands. "Besides, I'm a bird-demon. It'll grow back soon enough." Sasori gave a sad nod before going back to work, coloring the offered hair to a shade that complimented the dragon's scales before he did a quick job set of extensions…

"_You_ look smashing!" Sasori smiled, Deidara moving closer so they could press their fore-fingers together, whispering, "Success." The water-dragon looked at hi reflection in the water. It blinked once.

Twice.

And finally… "Oh! It's tres fabu!" The water-dragon swirled about in the water, letting sheer joy fill his being before it stopped and said, "Oh, what am I doing? You all need to cross the river, right?" The dragon dived into the water, the waves stilling after a moment and allowing for the demons to wade across.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**TG-What is going to happen next? Well, we could sit here asking questions, or you could read onto the next chapter. **


	4. Of Darkest Night Part 2

**A/N: These chapters always go so long and I end up dividing them into two. Is that a good thing?**

* * *

><p>After walking for what seemed like ages, the moon broke through the clouds once more and revealed, in the distance…<p>

"It's the Summit!" Itachi called out, rushing towards the sacred area. His feet moved until they nearly fell into a deep abyss filled with freezing cold, clear water. His descent was only stopped by one of Kisame's strong arms pulling him back.

"What's with you and water?" Kisame chuckled before he looked ahead at the lake and whistled as he saw all the hazards in the water, "Damn. Whirlpools, spires, underwater trenches… This is a nightmare of a water-source."

"We need a bridge." Sasuke looked out across the lake, "Or else it would take forever and a day for us to carry everyone across." Everyone looked to Kisame, who merely set his sword down on the ground and performed a quick stretch.

The bluenette smirked, "En garde, bitch," as he tied his sword to his back and gave a thumbs up to everyone before jumping in.

The water was excruciatingly cold, but Kisame had pressed himself through worse, so he glided through the clear waters until he found what he was looking for: rock spires that looked like they had seen better days. If he could just slice through them, they would float up and create a bridge so the others could cross.

"Let's get to work." Kisame nodded to himself and grabbed for his sword, about to start cutting away when a voice called out,

"_Kisame…"_

"Who's there?" Kisame growled out, preparing to fight, "Show yourself!" A shadow of something rushed by his back, causing him to turn. He was on high-alert but that didn't stop two slender hands smoothing over his chest from behind. "The fuck?" He turned around and saw a beautiful mermaid: her hair long and pale, her tail blue and purple…

"_Long have we awaited the strongest water-demon in the world…"_ The mermaid whispered into Kisame's ear, the shark-demon asking,

"Really? And who would that be?" The mermaid giggled before pressing herself up against the bluenette and replying,

"_You, of course."_

"Really?" Kisame blinked, the compliment going to his head before he cleared his throat and said, "I mean, yeah! That's right! Listen, do you think you could tell Lord Sanbi's Royal Guard that? I've been trying to enlist with them for the longest time!"

"_Oh, silly…"_ The mermaid sighed, swimming close to Kisame and turning him towards a specific direction, _"We want you to join _us_…"_ Kisame blinked and saw a troupe of water-demons all standing grand, tall and ready for battle._ "The Dark-Tide Warriors!"_

"Who?" Just as Kisame asked that, the mermaid explained,

"_Only the greatest of the great, the strongest of the strong who will soon go forth and take this world by storm!"_ The mermaid smiled, pecking Kisame on the cheek, _"But first, we need a General."_

"Oh really?" Kisame smiled, all sorts of thoughts going through his head, the mermaid nodding,

"_The most magnificent…"_

"Well, I don't mean to blow my own horn,"

"_Powerful…"_

"Come on now, you're going to me purple…"

"_Bravest shark-demon in all the land."_

"Why am I being modest?" Kisame laughed, "It's all true!"

"_We need you, Kisame. Please say yes?"_ The mermaid even ended that statement with a bat of her seductive eyes.

"Sign me up!" Kisame replied, holding up his sword, "Just let me make this bridge real quick and we can get this in writing—"

"_NO!"_ The mermaid screamed, the other water-demons standing behind her, _"It's either _them_ or_ us_!"_

Up above the waters, Itachi whispered, "What's taking him so long?" He wasn't worried, he just didn't want the big oaf getting hurt or hindering their mission. The moonlight broke through the clouds again, making it bright enough for everyone to look into the waters and see Kisame surrounded by foreign demons and mermaids. But upon seeing their colors, Itachi screamed out, "Wait, no!"

The head mermaid hissed out as she looked up, _"Stay out of this!"_, before the waters clouded up.

"Itachi?" Kisame blinked, turning around when he thought that he heard the weasel-demon's voice. The mermaid sighed before demanding,

"_Make your choice, Kisame! Now!"_ Kisame was still, mulling things over in his mind. Finally, he looked the mermaid straight in the eye and said,

"Thank you for your offer," the mermaid's eyes widened in shock as he held up his sword and called out, "But I'm going to have to respectfully decline!", before swinging it down, sharp waves of water rushing forward and causing the other demons and mermaids to disperse before they knocked down the aged spires; the rocks floating up into the air.

"_Damn you…"_ The mermaid hissed in a voice that sounded a lot like Tsukuyomi's before she disappeared. Kisame finally stopped his attack before looking around and noticing the empty waters.

"Huh." He shrugged his shoulders and swam back up, breaching the water and whooping out, "I told you guys that I would make this lake my bitch!" The others whooped and cheered out before quickly crossing the make-shift bridge.

When everyone had crossed, Kisame moved to get himself out of the water and saw a pale hand in front of him. Itachi stood there, offering the bluenette his assistance.

"Thanks." Kisame offered as he used the leverage to get himself back onto dry land. "Now, isn't there somewhere where we should be?"

"Yes," Itachi nodded before looking up ahead, "The Moonlit Summit should be just ahead. Then we can end this nightmare."

* * *

><p>In the middle of a vast clearing, where violets, lilies, and black roses grew, there was a slab of marble composed of the three colors standing in direct sight of the looming full moon.<p>

"We're here." Itachi gulped, "Moonlit Summit."

"Then let's get this show on the road!" Kakuzu called out, carrying the lamb over and, in well-practiced ease, tied it to the slab of rock before calling out,

"Kisame, do you have the sword ready?"

"Right here." The shark-demon announced as Naruto finished unwrapping it and handed it to the bluenette before he walked up to the monument. "Is there anything specific that I should be doing before I…" Kisame asked as he rose the blade above his head, "You know?" Everyone directed their attention to Itachi, who groaned and began to completely improvise,

"Oh great and bountiful Tsukuyomi, we give you this pure and noble lamb in hopes that you will see it in your heart to unlift the curse you have put upon us." After that, he held out his hands, mouthing, 'Go on…'

"Oh, right!' Kisame chuckled before giving a soft sigh and whipping the blade across the lamb's neck; blood cascading down upon the monument…

And nothing changing.

"Wait a second, un…" Deidara shivered, "Wasn't that supposed to make everything go back to normal?" Itachi furiously skimmed through the book he had brought, trying to make sense of this situation. His red eyes widened as he found and read out,

"'The effects of the ritual might take some time'… Fuck!", slamming the book to the ground and even tugging at his hair in frustration, "What to do now? Gods, how could I have been so stupid?"

"Ooh!" Tobi jumped up just as the air was growing extremely depressing, "Tobi knows! Tobi knows!" Before anyone could say anything, in a few minutes, Tobi had prepared a gracious spread of foods, cakes, sweets, and drinks. "We can have a 'Moonlight Celebration' Party!"

"So, let me get this straight…" Kakuzu began, "We're going to celebrate the thing that we're trying to get _rid_ of?"

"Mm-hm!" Tobi beamed, everyone sighing at the young demon's positivity.

"To hell with it," Kakuzu sighed, grabbing a bottle of sake and a cup, "Not like I ever complained about having a _reason_ to drink."

The common agreement amongst the group was to try and relax and simply await the results of their venture. Luckily Tobi had brought food and drink, otherwise this would have been _agonizingly_ boring.

And before long, things _had_ turned out to be somewhat enjoyable. Fun, in fact, as Tobi brought out a biwa and began to play a song about the moon (that he was _literally_ making up as he went)…

* * *

><p>If you were crazy enough to go into the mountains on this darkest of nights, you would have soon heard the sound of a small party being held. The drinks had more than done their job, the demons dancing, at play, and genuinely enjoying each other's company. Hell, even Itachi had loosened up a bit after a few drinks and had danced a bit with Hidan and Deidara before sitting in front of the small fire that had been made by Sasuke and Naruto.<p>

He was simply enjoying the calm atmosphere before he heard a soft sigh signaling someone had sat next to him. "Sure is beautiful." He gasped, looking over to see Kisame sitting next to him and looking up at the night sky, "In an 'end of the world' kind of way, I mean."

"Yes," Itachi nodded, "It really makes you think about things with how pure and imposing it is…" After a few moments of silence,

"Hey, listen." Kisame sighed, rubbing the back of his head, "About earlier…"

"Yes?" Itachi asked.

"I kind of acted like a real ass," The shark demon stated at last, "No, there's no 'kind of', I _was_ a real ass. But I really don't want my brash nature to stand in the way of us getting to know each other. So… What I'm trying to say in too many words is that… I'm sorry."

Try as he might, Itachi couldn't hide the blush that was dusting his face as the other demon practically undid every assumption Itachi had had about him. But he knew that he couldn't just sit there and act like he hadn't initiated it.

"No… I was the rude one earlier." He looked up and addressed everyone, "To all of you. You were all simply trying to be nice and… Well, I've never been that sociable of a person. And I guess that in the back of my mind, I never thought that I could grow out of that. But now…" He trailed off and nearly jumped up when he noticed everyone looking straight at him. "I'm sounding over-emotional, aren't I? Allow me to just—Hey!" He was suddenly glomped by Deidara and Tobi, Hidan smiling,

"There's hope for you yet, kid! Not most people would admit something like that, but you had the balls to speak up!"

Everyone shared a laugh, Tobi about to see if everyone had enough to drink when a cold rush of air filled the area.

"He's here…" Kisame growled, moving into an attack position. Everyone else was on edge, awaiting for the moon god to take some sort of action.

Then, all of a sudden, everything froze. It was as if someone had taken the whole landscape and changed into black-and-white.

"The hell?" Kakuzu gritted out as he found himself petrified on the spot.

"Can't move!" Sasuke growled. But then things got even worse as, in a swirl of black and purple, a figure appeared in the midst of the group. His hair was tied up in a high pony-tail, black, white, and purple cascading down, his skin was as pale as the moon on a clear night and his eyes… His cold, dark eyes looked at the scene that he had come across. Just as he knelt down to pick up a cup, Itachi looked at his clothing and gasped out,

"Tsu… ku… yomi…" The moon god inspected all the items and even took a bite of one of the remaining pastries before he looked at the area, looked at the world, and whispered,

"_What is this..?"_ He looked around again and added, _"You all weren't afraid to come out here..? No, don't answer... I saw you all as you made your way to my shrine… I even tested you a few times…"_

"The mountain…" Hidan hissed.

"The manticore…" Zetsu whispered.

"The water-dragon?" Sasori and Deidara asked before Kisame gritted out,

"Those damn water demons?"

"_Yes…"_ Tsukuyomi nodded, _"I created those obstacles to see if you could really persuade me into changing my thoughts about this world…"_ The slightest semblance of a smile graced the moon god's features, _"I see now… It isn't a matter of who gets more praise… It's just enough to be remembered at all…"_

"_And you can be… If you learn from this experience and do the good that you used to do instead of the evil…"_ Everyone tried their hardest to look in the direction of the new, warm and comforting voice and gasped out,

"Goddess Amaterasu?", upon seeing the white and red-haired goddess smiling at the sight of her brother after all these many, many years.

"_Nii-sama…"_Amaterasu smiled, her face almost too bright to look upon, _"I have missed you so."_ Tsukuyomi tried to frown up his dark face but found that… upon seeing his little sister… He just couldn't.

"_Amaterasu!"_ He cried out, pulling the sun-goddess into his arms, _"Baby sister, please..! Please forgive an insane, old fool..!"_ Amaterasu only smiled, tears streaming down from her bright eyes,

"_I could do no less… Nii-sama…"_ She looked over to the still-frozen demons and nodded, _"Thank you… Allow us to redeem this whole incident…"_

* * *

><p>It was… uncanny sight. Probably one that would never be seen again or by anyone else. But for one instant, up there in the dark sky, it looked as if the sun and moon had become one.<p>

It was striking.

* * *

><p>"Itachi…" Said weasel-demon groaned, not wanting to stir from his slumber.<p>

"Itachi, wake up…" After a gentle pushing had been added to the plea, Itachi's eyes slowly opened to first look around and see that he and his slowly awakening friends had been transported back to the central Adamant Falls building. Then he looked up and saw a familiar face with light brown hair and long weasel ears, with six brown weasel-tails swishing behind him.

"Rokubi-sama!" Itachi cried out, rushing over to be embraced by the arms of the weasel-god.

"Itachi, my faithful student," The brown-haired deity smiled, "We are forever in your debt. All of your debts for saving the world from the dark side of Tsukuyomi's heart.", as he looked around at the others in the room.

"But…" Itachi pulled away, ears betraying his confusion, "I thought you insisted that it was a silly fairy-tale?"

"I—"

"I'll handle this," Shark-deity Sanbi No Same spoke up with his three tails swishing behind him, interrupting his wife, "We wanted you to come to this town and find a group of demons who could help you when the time was right. We wanted you to find friends!"

"This can't be…" Kisame, who woke right up upon hearing Sanbi's voice, blinked in awe, making sure that he was seeing who he was seeing before gasping out, "Lord Sanbi?", and holding his arm out to Kakuzu and whispering, "Stab me, I must be dreaming!"

Just then, the doors opened, a shriek of,

"Oh, thank the gods!", filling the air. Everyone looked outside and saw that the sun was shining brilliantly upon the land. They all whooped and hollered, but inside, Deidara (who had actually been the one to cry out) stood while combing his fingers through his now-long-again, blonde hair. "I'm never getting rid of you again!" He kissed his luscious locks, "Never again!" Zetsu walked forth into the bright light and stretched out his arms, sighing

"Never has the sunlight felt so good…"

"Hey!" Tobi exclaimed, jumping onto Zetsu's back, "You know what this calls for?"

* * *

><p>"A party! Yay!" The Sun Harvest Festival went on as planned… Only this time…<p>

"The First Annual Tsukuyomi-Amaterasu Festival is now open!" Tsunade announced, lighting the ceremonial candles that heralded the event. The music was quickly re-orchestrated and soon the air was filled with notes and streaming decorations as the demons of Adamant Falls came out a celebrated the end of the dark times.

But even though he sat at a table with the finest foods and Sasuke smitten with a young fox-demon next to him, Itachi could only sigh as he looked upon the festivities.

"Itachi," Said demon looked up and saw Rokubi walking over to him, "You have an aura of sadness about you. But that can't be right. You've finished your duties and you and your brother can return to Konoha. Isn't that what you've been wanting?" Itachi was quiet, looking over to the group of demons whom he had befriended during this turbulent time.

"That _was_ what I had wanted," He began, "But… But…" He was silenced when Rokubi flicked him on the forehead,

"It's okay. I understand that-"

"That the bookworm has found a sweetheart!" Sanbi roared out as he rushed over and whisked Rokubi into his arms, the weasel-deity frowning,

"After centuries upon centuries, I still don't know _what_ I see in you…" And when Rokubi saw the blushing covering his student's face, his eyes occaisionally flicking over to Kisame, he smiled and called out, "Citizens of Adamant Falls, this town has been lacking for a librarian and scholar, has it not?"

"Hell yes!" Hidan yelled back, latching an arm over Itachi's shoulder before Deidara walked up and did the same, stating,

"That dusty old place has been empty for ages, un!"

"Then that settles it. Sasuke, take a note," Rokubi smiled as the dragon took out a scroll of paper and a brush, "Let it be that the weasel demon Uchiha Itachi will now take residence in the Adamant Falls library. Where he will continue his research and work for me, Rokubi No Raijuu." Itachi's eyes were wide, surprise and joy filling up his character before he found himself glomped halfway to death by the group of demons.

"Rokubi-sama…" He whispered, tears dripping from his eyes as the emotions that he had been holding up all night finally broke through, "Thank you so much…"

* * *

><p>What will the future hold for the demons and creatures of Adamant Falls and this strange, wonderful world? Who can say? The future is always uncertain.<p>

But what can be known is that through it all, a certain group of friends will always be able to fall upon each other in times of need.

And that both the sun _and_ moon shall be watching over them from above.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**TG- Well, here's the end of the first saga… I'm sorry, can I just say that I'm a bit iffy with how this came out? It's just… lacking that 'oomph' to me, you know? **

**But, if you guys could please keep up the wonderful reviews and comments that would be nothing short of amazing! **

**Thanks for reading! * bows * **

**-Tyranno's girl. **

**P.S. – I'm literally posting this while I'm preparing to go to Los Angeles for Anime Expo 2011. I'm going to keep typing, but since I'm staying at my Uncle's house and I don't know if he still has internet or not, I'm not sure about uploading or replying to reviews. **

**But, if you guys could keep me in your prayers! I'm going to be cosplaying as Russia from Hetalia and if you could look at this equation: overcoat+wig+scarf+boots+hot city weather= … Yeah, things are not boding well for me. **

**But I will try to get tons of pictures and maybe post them on my tumblr (theliterarywolf) and make a montage on my YouTube channel (Lupina09). **

**Hidan- Shameless self-promotion powers activate. **

**TG- …Shut up. But that does remind me that I have to go work on the second episode of my series 'Let's Talk Pairings' (I mostly talk about and analyze Yaoi pairings). So, love you all! **


	5. Choices, Choices Part 1

**A/N: **

**TG- Okay, I really wanted to make this note light-hearted, but I'm just not in the mood. Why? Well, remember when I said that was going to AX for four days? Well, I **_**did**_** go to AX… **

**But for only **_**ONE**_** day. **

**Thanks to my **_**friend**_** (and I use the term lightly because I need new friends!), I had to take her home after the first day, effectively cutting my vacation short. **

**But enough of that, I was able to get this update done… And I'm not happy with it. I don't know, maybe I'm just not in a happy mind-set. I need someone to chat with… **

**I want to thank Alexa Hiwatari, CL1005, Zetsu's Rose, and LightOfTheUniverse for reviewing last time around. **

**Disclaimer- Don't own anything but my thoughts.**

**Let's read.**

* * *

><p>"No…"<p>

"No…"

"No…"

Those were the words that could be heard upon first listen when one walked into Goldleaf Farms one morning. Sasuke Uchiha, young dragon-blooded Uchiha, was walking down the dusty road of the farm while searching through the apple basket that was resting on his brother Itachi's back: tossing out any apples that didn't meet his expectations.

Up ahead of the two Uchihas was the albino cat-demon Hidan, who turned and said,

"Thanks for helping me prepare these apples for the market Itachi. Kakuzu was going to kill me if I didn't have them out by noon."

"No problem, Hidan," Itachi smiled. It had been a week since Rokubi-sama of the ten celestial beings had declared it alright for him to live and work in Adamant Falls. As they walked, he looked at the sky, ground; _everything_ just seemed that much brighter now that he knew there was more to life than books and jutsu. He chuckled, "Just make sure that you're cooking me lunch, alright?"

"Sure thing!" Hidan nodded, kneeling down to pick up a runaway apple.

"Great! All this work has me starving!" Just as Itachi said that, Sasuke piped in with,

"I know, right?" That caused Itachi to dead-pan, stating,

"Sasuke! You've been messing around with the apples all day! I hardly qualify that as working."

"For your information," Sasuke rolled his eyes, going through more of the apples, "I've been trying to find a perfect apple to give as a gift to Naruto." The dragon's growing obsession with Kisame's blonde assistant caused Hidan to smirk,

"Oh yeah, that's some _hard_ work." Sasuke ignored them both, going back to his work until, finally,

"Ah!" He pulled out a perfect specimen: plump, firm, red as blood and white as snow, "It's beautiful…" Sasuke smiled, imagining Naruto's reaction…

"_Sasuke?" The young fox would blink, "Is that for me?" _

"_Of course," Sasuke would reply, "As I gazed upon its beauty, I was instantly reminded of you." _

_Then they would share the apple, a small sign of the feelings they had for each other, and Sasuke wouldn't be so unsure of his social skills as they would get to further know each other and…_

Sasuke choked, the familiar sensation squirming through him until he choked out a blue peal of flame that ended up scorching the apple into ashes before it formed into a scroll. Sasuke's eyebrow twitched before he roared, "Oh, come the fuck on!" Itachi and Hidan stopped upon hearing the commotion, the weasel-demon asking,

"Is that from Rokubi-sama?"

"It sure as hell better be…" Sasuke gritted out as he unrolled the scroll and read (let's see if you can feel the sarcasm), "Hear ye, hear ye… blah blah blah… Shooting Star Ball… Yak, yak, yak… To be held in Konoha… Who freaking cares…" He skimmed through the words until he finally got to the end, "Extends an invitation to Uchiha Itachi and three guests… Who gives a flying –" He choked out another plume of flame that formed itself into four golden slips of paper. "Fuck? Oi, Itachi…" But it seemed that the weasel-demon, upon hearing 'Shooting Star Ball' had frozen up into a being of sheer (very well-hidden) excitement.

"Oh please…" Sasuke huffed, moping along down the path. He didn't get that far before Kakuzu popped up out of a nearby bush and stated,

"I heard 'Shooting Star Ball'!" That finally shook Itachi out of his shock of being invited (his parents had always been, but he himself had never been old enough), the younger brunette replying,

"Yes, well… I received tickets for myself and three guests…"

"Three guests? Perfect." Kakuzu smiled (or gave his own rendition of one. You know the one that kills small kittens upon being unleashed?) before he grabbed Hidan and added, "You, Sasuke, me, and Hidan."

"I take it that you two like dances?" Itachi asked.

"Hell no!" Hidan fumed, shoving the stitch-demon away and hissing, "Every time there's any type of ball, party, or dance that has drugs or booze, I wake up with this bastard's cock up my ass and, nine-months later, I get – OW!" His rant was stopped when a ball flew through the air and hit him on the head. Hidan looked towards where it came from and snapped, "Soba!" The pre-teen called back, pointing to her twin brother,

"That wasn't me, it was Yakisoba!"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

Hidan simply rolled his eyes, allowing his children to settle that amongst themselves.

"We wouldn't actually go for the party, Itachi," Kakuzu explained, "We would be going to sell Goldleaf Farm merchandise."

"Merchandise?" Itachi blinked before Kakuzu walked forward and wrapped an arm around him,

"Think about it for a second, would you?", he softly spoke, "All those high-society guests with gold practically _falling_ from their pockets. With all that money, we could finally fix the old storehouse!" He pointed to the large shed with the raggedy roof. "And get better plows" He pointed to his eldest sons struggling with decrepit old plows. "And get grandmother that back-surgery that she so desperately needs but I can't put too much money into!"

"What was that?" The old stitch-demon called out from her bedroom window, Kakuzu immediately calling back,

"Nothing grandmother, just go back to sleep!" The stitch demon sighed before turning back to Itachi and asking, "So, how about it?"

"Well then," The weasel-demon hummed, "I guess that could be arranged –"

"STOP!" Everyone looked towards the river that ran through Goldleaf Farm to see Kisame the shark-demon rushing over from a fresh swim. Kakuzu was not amused.

"You lazy ass!" The scarred brunette called out, "You told me that you would be too busy training to help out on the farm today!"

"I _was_ busy… Training." The bluenette jerked his thumb towards the river where a large boulder was diverting the water flow, "Three laps through the Adamant Falls water-system with that tied to my back. But I happened to hear that someone was invited to the Shooting Star Ball." Itachi, who had become more than a bit star-struck at the sight of Kisame after his swim (and imagining those big, resilient muscles stretching and flexing while the shark trained), tried to hide his blush and explained, wiping a bit of drool from his mouth,

"Yes, I was, along with three other free spots, so—"

"Perfect! Lord Sanbi brings his Royal Guard to every special event that he goes to! If I'm there, I can mingle with them a bit and then, when we get comfortable for a sparring match or two, they'll be impressed by my strength and ask me to enlist!" Kisame had shoved Kakuzu out of the way and was nodding to himself as he stated, "This works out great: me, you, Sasuke, and Naruto!"

"I like that idea!" Sasuke interjected as soon as Naruto's name was mentioned.

"Hold on a second!" Kakuzu yelled, "I asked first, me and Hidan are going!" The air got tense as Kakuzu and Kisame glared at each other, the bluenette baring his teeth as he growled,

"Like hell you are, stitch-boy…"

"Shark-bait…" Kakuzu returned the growl, reaching for the coil of rope attached to his waist. You could tell a fight was going to break out so, in an effort to make peace, Itachi cried out,

"Hold on a minute!", rushing between the two, "I'm the one with tickets, so I should hear the best reason to go! Right?" Immediately, Kakuzu stepped forward and stated,

"To raise funds for my farm!", Kisame stepped up, saying,

"To fulfill my family's dream and join Lord Sanbi's Royal Guard!"

"Money is more important than your stupid dream!"

"If people didn't have hopes and dreams, where would they spend your precious money?" You could obviously see that things were going nowhere, and Itachi's stomach had decided that it wanted to be heard as well; growling and groaning until, finally, Itachi held up his hand, halting the argument.

"Look! I'll decide who to give these tickets to soon, the ball isn't even until next year for gods' sake!" He quickly tried to regain his composure before he continued, "But I _cannot_ make this type of a decision on an empty stomach, so if you'll excuse us – Come on, Sasuke!" The weasel-demon grabbed his brother and quickly made a run for it, leaving Kisame, Kakuzu, and Hidan behind.

The shark-demon and stitch-demon glared at each other for a long while after before Kisame shouted, "Those tickets are mine!", and tackled Kakuzu to the ground in an impromptu wrestling match. Hidan frowned as he watched the two grown demons fight each other over this silly matter before he finally turned back towards the main house and called out,

"Kiro, Kire, Kira! Go find your siblings so we can play hide and seek!"

"Where are _you_ going?" Kakuzu gritted out, Hidan huffing back,

"If I wanted to see two babies fight over a stupid baba, I would have another set of twins.", before he went to go find his kids.

* * *

><p>"Phew, glad that I'm out of there." Itachi heaved a sigh of relief as he and Sasuke walked down the main street of Adamant Falls. But Sasuke only decided to remind Itachi,<p>

"You _do_ realize that you'll still have to make a decision about the tickets sooner or later."

"I know Sasuke," Itachi really didn't want to think of this now, "But for now, I just want to think about where I should eat and – Fuck!

"You should eat at Tobi's bakery!" Tobi chimed as he crashed into Itachi and Sasuke while on a delivery from his bakery. He quickly tried to pick up the items he had dropped when he saw the gold slips of paper on the ground, "Hm? What are these?"

"Hi Tobi…" Sasuke groaned, picking himself up from the ground, "Those are—"

"Tickets to the Shooting Star Ball!" Tobi screamed in sheer glee before jumping up, down, and around, all the while speaking a mile a minute, "It's the most amazing, wonderful, super-incredible, terrifically humongous party of the year! Tobi's always wanted to take Zetsu to it!"

"Tobi…"

"With decorations and streamers and pinwheels and piñatas! All sorts of treats like sugar-sticks, chocolates, and the softest, most delicious sweet dumplings that it would be your upmost pleasure to taste! Hee hee!" The young demon began bouncing around Itachi, positively beaming, "Thank you _so_ much, Itachi! Me and Zetsu-san will cherish this gift _forever!_" Itachi gulped back the bit of guilt he felt upon saying these words,

"Actually, I haven't decided on who to give them to, yet…"

"Oh me!"

"Oh my, un!" Itachi turned from his cousin and saw Sasori and Deidara who were followed by a certain fox-demon carrying all of their purchases for them. Sasuke immediately went into his love-struck state and sighed,

"Naruto…" But Sasori merely took the tickets and handed them back to Itachi before asking,

"Are these what we think they are?"

"Well…" Itachi frowned, trying to think of something to stop this chain, but Tobi immediately piped up,

"Hai! Tickets to the Shooting Star Ball!"

"Oh, the ball, un!" Deidara sighed, stars in his eyes as he imagined the grand affair, Sasori shining his claws as he stated,

"We have more than our share of orders for the Ball every year! The society…"

"The culture…" Deidara added.

"The glamour…" Sasori finished before standing right next to the weasel-demon and speaking, "It's where sophisticated demons like you, me, and Deidara truly belong. And also…"

"Where we'll meet _them_!" Deidara smiled. Itachi only blinked,

"_Them_?"

"Them." Sasori nodded before going over to Deidara and snapping his fingers, a sad violin playing from somewhere in the background before he began, "You see Itachi, though Deidara and I are world-renowned designers in our own right, we never make more money that to eat, provide for our son, and gather work-materials. Thus…" The scorpion-demon sighed, "We have yet to be formally married."

"So…" Itachi was trying to understand where this was going before Sasori rushed over and spoke,

"If me and Deidara were to go to the Ball, our elegant, superior senses of style would surely attract the attention of _them_: someone who is regal, but truly understands style. They will accompany us throughout the entire night and then, upon the taking of food and drink, the topic of marriage will arise. They will listen to our case and, upon feeling the emotion of our situation, they shall agree to sponsor our wedding!"

"Oh boy," Itachi coughed, "That's quite a reason to go –"

"Which is why I can't believe that you still haven't invited me and Sasori to go with you and Sasuke, un!" Deidara crowed out, causing Itachi to actually take a few steps back. All of a sudden, there was a tug at his hand before he saw a rabbit take off with the tickets.

"Hey!" The brunette called out as the rabbit moved. However, it didn't run into the forest like one would expect. It bounced up onto the shoulder of plant-demon Zetsu.

"Hm?" The green-haired demon blinked as the tickets were given to him, "Oh wow. Himawari, where did you get these?"

"Zetsu, could you please give those back?" Itachi sighed before stating to the trio of demons closest to him, "And I haven't given the tickets to anyone yet!"

"You haven't?" Sasori, Deidara, and Tobi gasped. But Zetsu called over,

"Itachi? Um… If it's okay, I mean, if you haven't given them to someone else… If you could take me and Tobi along?"

"_You_ want to go to the ball?" Sasori hissed, the shining pointed tail of a scorpion growing out behind him. But Zetsu shook his head as he walked over, handing the tickets to Itachi,

"Yes… Well, it's complicated. You see, I wouldn't be going there for the party. But rather to visit the holy gardens of Konoha. It is said that they have the most beautiful-smelling flowers and some of the rarest animals in the world! Oh," Zetsu gave Himawari a pat on the head, "I would love to witness such a beautiful sight. If only just once…"

"STOP!" Everyone looked over to see that the yell had come from Kisame, the shark-demon now sporting some scratches and bruises as he walked over.

"Kisame, were you _stalking_ us?" Itachi grimaced at the thought, the bluenette giving a nervous chuckle,

"Well, it kind of depends on what you mean by 'stalking', but in all seriousness, I couldn't let you be pressured into giving those tickets to just anyone and –"

"YOU BASTARD!" Kakuzu roared out, coming out of the woodwork to tackle the bluenette to the ground. The stitch-demon seemed to have been tied down to something, pieces of rope still dangling off of him, but he was now choking Kisame as he shouted, "Tying me down with my own rope, where the fuck do you get off? Trying to take me and Hidan's tickets..!"

* * *

><p>"Achoo!" Hidan sneezed out while he was making a strawberry tart for his triplets.<p>

"You okay mom?" Kire asked, fixing his hair in the reflection of his spoon.

"Someone's talking about me," Hidan sniffled, "That's all."

* * *

><p>"But Itachi's taking Tobi and Zetsu!" Tobi cried out, and that seemed to be the catalyst that caused everyone to begin a flurry of yelling and fighting before Itachi finally yelled,<p>

"Everyone, stop!" The group of demons (all for the exception of Sasuke, who was simply staring at Naruto in admiration), all ceased their bickering and allowed for Itachi to speak, "This is _my_ decision, and I'm going to make it on my own time when I can think straight—Don't say a word, Deidara!—And when I'm not starving to death!" He clutched at his grumbling stomach, "Just! Just _please_ let me think about this by myself."

"Fine…" Was the general consensus before everyone slowly walked away, including Naruto which made Sasuke whine,

"He didn't mean you!", but the young Kitsune was already gone. "Damn…"

* * *

><p>"Oh Sasuke…" Itachi sighed as he and Sasuke sat at a small beach-side restaurant. He laid his head down on the table and groaned, "What am I going to do?"<p>

"Take Kisame so I can be with Naruto?" Sasuke offered, messing around with his chopsticks, Itachi snapping back,

"Stop thinking with your dick and help me! Everyone has really good reasons to go to this ball, well, except for Tobi… But he's my cousin and I can't think of a way out of this without crushing someone's feelings!"

"Have you decided yet, sir?"

"NO!" Itachi yelled but gulped when he realized that he had yelled at the waiter. "Um, I mean… Just two fish-bowls, please."

"Oh, come on!" Sasuke frowned, "I love fish and stuff just fine, but would it kill anyone to offer some freshly killed deer or even some gemstones? **( 1 )**"

"Sasuke, come on!" Itachi gritted out. The weasel-demon was about to go into another rant on why this was so important when, out of nowhere, most of the demons at the restaurant took their food and ran; the waiter calling over,

"Sirs, are you going to sit in the tide?"

"What tide? The ocean's not due in for another…" He looked down and saw that the tide had indeed come in, but the wave waters were avoiding Itachi and Sasuke's table. "What the hell?" A splash from the ocean moved their attention towards the ocean waters where Kisame was standing on top of the turbulent waters, the shark-demon waving over,

"Hello Itachi!"

"Kisame, what are you doing?" Sasuke called back before the bluenette smiled,

"What? I was just about to go on water-watch when I saw the most beautiful weasel-demon that I have ever laid my eyes on about to get his feet and clothes wet. So, how is it? Enjoying the cool, ocean-breeze?" Why did such a compliment have to be corrupted with current circumstances? Itachi could only frown,

"It would be better if this wasn't just a ploy to get those extra tickets."

"_What?_ Me? How could you think of such a –" A stern glare from Itachi changed the shark-demon's tune immediately, "Okay, maybe a little."

"I'm not accepting favors in exchange for those tickets, Kisame!"

"Fine!" Kisame finally huffed, allowing himself to sink underneath the waters. Itachi sighed in relief as the over-bearing presence of the shark had been lifted.

Unfortunately, so had the tide-barrier. Sasuke quickly jumped up into the air, shifting into dragon-form, but Itachi was forced to sit as the ocean-water soaked him clean through. Seething and clenching his fingers into fists was all Itachi could do before a familiar voice cried,

"Itachi! The tide is coming in, un!"

"_No…_ I hadn't noticed." Itachi gritted out before he was grabbed and pulled along by Sasori, the scorpion-demon warning,

"Come with us, lest you catch a cold!"

* * *

><p>In Sasori and Deidara's home, Itachi abruptly shook himself dry before noticing what he had done as he saw the blonde and red-head soaked by his motions, "Oops, sorry."<p>

"No bother!" Sasori forced a smile through his wet features, "After all, we are the best trio of friends ever! Am I right?" As Sasori rushed over to Itachi's side, Deidara quickly moved to the other and added,

"And you know what best friends do for each other? Un?"

"No…" Itachi frowned, a sense of dread filling him that was reassured when the two fashionistos exclaimed,

"Makeovers!", before rushing him into the wardrobe and getting right to work, Itachi yelling,

"Wait, no! Stop, I am _not_ wearing that! Too tight, too tight, too tight! Guys!" The wardrobe doors opened, revealing Itachi now clad in a simple but beautifully elegant red gown that had a chain of rubies around the waist.

"Oh you look simply smashing!" Deidara beamed before turning to the young dragon in the work-room, "And how about you Sasuke?"

"Unless Naruto is behind that closet, fuck off." The navy-haired dragon dead-panned before calling out, "Aniki, I'll see you back at the library.", and leaving.

"Oh, no matter about him." Sasori smiled, brushing his fingers through Itachi's hair, "What matters most is how amazing the three of us will look at the Shooting Star Ball!" Itachi choked out before screaming,

"Are you shitting me?", Deidara answering,

"We'll go in, strutting along like preened and prided peacocks and soon, me and Danna will look on our glorious, beautiful wedding day!" It was silent. Then Itachi ripped off the gown and quickly put his own clothing back on, calling out,

"Okay, I'm gone!"

"Itachi!" Deidara cried, Sasori desperately following with a,

"Wait!"

"No!" The brunette screamed, "You guys are just going to have to wait for my decision like everyone else! Gods, why can't I at least just find something to eat for lunch?"

"Lunch, you said?" Kakuzu asked, breaking through Sasori and Deidara's door before grabbing Itachi and offering, "Come with me!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**( 1 ) - In MLP, dragons apparently eat and _love_ gemstones.**


	6. Choices, Choices Part 2

**A/N: This week's update also turned out shorter than usual, damn it!**

* * *

><p>Itachi looked ahead of himself, gasping as he saw the heavily-laden cart of more-than-scrumptious looking foods. "You can<em>not<em> be serious?"

"There're pies, cakes, dango, spare-ribs, fried fish, tempura, soba…" Kakuzu listed off before he leaned forward and smiled, "It's all for you… _Best friend_." Itachi was so _hungry_, and the smells of the foods from Goldleaf farms were beyond wetting his appetite. But his logic kicked back in as he screamed,

"Oh, go to hell!", storming past the stitch-demon.

"Is that a yes?" Kakuzu asked. He blinked as he saw all of the food in the cart lifted up above his head and fall on top of him, "Fuck!" But after a while, Kakuzu was able to dig himself out and say, "I'll take that as a 'maybe'!"

* * *

><p>Itachi almost couldn't bear it as he finally made it to the library. He could at least make himself a bowl of ramen in their small kitchen.<p>

"I never thought that being showered with favors would be so exhausting…" He sighed as he pushed the door open. "Oh dear gods." He frowned as he saw dozens of small forest creatures who were actually… cleaning his living space and at the center of them all was a gently singing, "Zetsu? Sasuke, why did you let him..!" Sasuke sat in a simple chair, practically drooling as he watched Naruto; the fox-demon bent over as he scrubbed the floors,

"Aniki, you could go ahead and kill me. After _this_ I can die happy…" Upon hearing the door close, Zetsu turned and spoke,

"Oh! Itachi, I hope you don't mind me getting a few of my friends to help straighten this place up a bit. Spring cleaning and that sort of thing…"

"It's summer!" Itachi screamed, causing Zetsu to bit his lip and mutter,

"Oh, well, I… It was Himawari's idea." The rabbit nodding her head as she peeled an apple and offered it up to Itachi. However, Itachi sighed,

"You're just doing this for the tickets, aren't you?"

"What? Well, I…" Himawari cleared her throat, causing Zetsu to nod, "Yes." Itachi only walked over to the door and opened it, calling out,

"Get out of my house Zetsu –The hell?" He was abruptly yanked outside by Tobi and a bunch of other demons, who yelled,

"Surprise!", before Tobi began singing,

"_Itachi is simply the best, whoopee, whoopee!_"

"Tobi…" Itachi sighed as he was tossed up into the air,

"_The best weasel-demon anyone could ever be, could be!_"

"Tobi…"

"_And just maybe he'll give his spare tickets to me, to me—"_

"TOBI!" Itachi screamed, landing on the ground before pinching the bridge of his nose and calmly stating, "First of all, stop singing. _Please._ Second of all, please stop trying this hard to get me to make a decision about the tickets!"

"Tickets?" One of the demons that Tobi had hired asked and before Itachi could say anything, Tobi announced,

"Mm-hm! Itachi has tickets to the Shooting Star Ball!"

All Itachi needed to hear were the screams of excitement before he knew to start running for his life.

* * *

><p>It was almost late that evening and after a whole day of running, invisibility magics, and over-strategizing, Itachi finally made it back to the library.<p>

_Again!_

He kept his ears open as he looked around and tried to silently make his way back into the building. "Gods, if you all can hear me: I've had enough excitement and annoyance to last me a lifetime. Please just have a little bit of mercy on me…" He opened door and was immediately greeted with the voices of his 'friends' calling out,

"Welcome home!"

The tension that followed could have been cut by Kisame's sword, it was so thickly tangible. The silence filled the library, making the atmosphere almost unbearable before, finally, Itachi took a deep breath before he shouted,

"I've had it! Ever since Rokubi-sama sent me these tickets, I've had to experience nothing but stress, hunger, and headaches because of you guys!" Everyone was quiet as Itachi went on, "And it's not like I don't _want_ to share the tickets! But there's only four and no matter what, someone's going to be disappointed!"

"Itachi…" Hidan frowned a at the weasel-demon's discomfort.

"Kakuzu and Hidan need them for money for their farm—"

"Itachi, wait a second." Kisame tried to interrupt, just for Itachi to continue,

"Kisame needs them to fulfill his family's dream—"

"Itachi." Sasori whispered.

"Sasori and Deidara need to find someone to pay for their wedding—" He was almost cut off by Tobi's sniffles. "And Tobi's my cousin, along with Zetsu wanting to see the holy gardens of Konoha… No matter what I do, _someone's_ going to end up disappointed and it will be all my fault." Itachi's ears drooped as he whispered, "And you guys are the best thing to happen to me in such a long time. I don't want to ruin that." The slim brunette nearly jumped when he felt a heavy hand on his shoulder. He turned and saw Kisame sitting next to him, the shark-demon speaking,

"Itachi, please just give the tickets to Kakuzu and Hidan."

"What?" Itachi gasped out, unbelieving as Kisame added,

"I had no right to put you through so much stress… I had no idea. But I would rather not go anywhere rather than make you miserable."

"Same here." Kakuzu sighed, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head, "Goldleaf Farms will make it somehow, we always have."

"Finally, the bastard realizes his mistake!" Hidan smiled as he sat down on the armchair next to Itachi's couch.

"Balls are so overrated, un!" Deidara commented, not at all noticing Sasuke's pained snickers of,

"Must… resist urge… to say… 'that's what she said'." Then all attention went to Tobi (Zetsu had silently given up his ticket claim as well). The young demon bit his lip, averting his eyes, but he finally nodded,

"It's not a party when people are miserable!"

"You guys…" Itachi whispered, "Bakas… How am I supposed to go to this ball with all of you acting like this?" The short statement caused a laugh among the group before Zetsu asked,

"What are you going to do then Itachi? That is, if you don't mind my asking." Itachi thought for a moment before he called over,

"Sasuke, time for a letter."

* * *

><p>"So, in short," Itachi was in the middle of concluding his verbal dictation of the letter that his brother was writing, "I truly appreciate your gift of these tickets, but I could not rest easily upon knowing that my friends wouldn't be accompanying me.<p>

Your faithful student,

Uchiha Itachi." After he had finished writing, Sasuke rolled the letter up along with the four Ball tickets before exhaling a rush of flame to send them off.

"It's done." Sasuke sighed, "Now what?" However, no one could even try to answer before Sasuke choked out another flame, a letter floating over into Itachi's hands.

"That was quick." Itachi commented before opening the scroll.

At one glance at the letter, Itachi promptly passed out to the floor. "Itachi!" Kisame yelled, "What did it say?" The letter floated down to the middle of the group so that everyone could read what had been sent back. The letter read, in the script of the Sanbi No Same:

"Itachi!

Why didn't you just say so?"

Then, Sasuke had a bit of a coughing fit before he unleashed a large plume of flame that quickly shifted into five pairs of tickets. "This is great!" Tobi announced as he grabbed a pair, "Now we can all go!" Everyone grabbed a ticket, but Kisame was the only one who waited for a moment in favor of picking Itachi up from the floor and seating him upon his shoulders.

"Hm… Wha?" Itachi groggily looked around, asking, "What happened?"

"What happened is that I'm taking you to Clamshell's Buffet House. On me."

"Let's all go, un!" Deidara jumped over, handing Kisame and Itachi a ticket. Everyone slowly filing out of the library, Kakuzu commenting,

"As long as Kisame's buying, I'm up for it."

"Who says that I'm paying for you guys?"

After the others were gone, Sasuke was left behind to lock up the library. The navy-haired dragon looked at the ticket in his hand and huffed, "Like I really want to go to this stupid, over-hyped Ball anyway…" But his train of thought was hi-jacked when Naruto's voice chimed,

"I can't wait for the Ball! I'm so excited, I'll have to see if Sasori and Deidara can make me a special outfit!", as the fox-demon walked after the group of demons. Sasuke's mind had immediately taken creative licensing with the words 'special outfit' and the dragon suddenly found himself all that more eager for the night when the stars would stream across the sky like fish down a stream.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**TG- Something that I should mention. Those who have seen MLP in its entirety, do not worry. I'm trying to go in an order that doesn't follow the same lead as the original series (mostly going by episodes that I liked first) so it won't be too repetitive. **

**Thanks for reading! Please review!**

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	7. Cat at Work Part 1

**A/N: **

**Thank you guys **_**so**_** much for the reviews! I really appreciated the comments that were consoling me after what I went through last week, so I had actually written this update last week… **

**However, I got laid off from work (GOD DAMN IT!) so my unlimited internet access is more restricted. I'm actually able to work right now because my mom is doing hair and the client's house has wi-fi. Okay, let's go. **

**Big thanks to: FMJ26 (You came back, yay!), Alexa Hiwatari, Zetsu's Rose (thanks for the advice! I kind of took it and just made another amv on YouTube), and CL1005. **

**Now, like I said in the last update, I am not going in order of MLP. Especially since someone released an official, accurate chronology of the episode timeline.**

* * *

><p>The sun was shining down on the beautiful Oceanside village of Adamant Falls, especially on the bountiful crops of Goldleaf Farms. "Damn… Do I have my work cut out for me…" Hidan whistled out as he looked at all the trees and plants in bloom. "I've never seen such a harvest before! It's like all the fucking crops sprouted up at once!" Next to the cat-demon, Kakuzu was standing and tying one of his arms up in a make-shift sling.<p>

"And of course this would be the week that I broke my arm – Shit!" He hissed as he accidently made the sling around his injured arm too tight (how did it happen? We may never – he was cutting down a dead tree and it fell on him). Hidan fumed out,

"Kakuzu, how many times do I have to tell you to get your ass to a hospital?", before he grabbed the stitch-demon's arm and pulled, "I'm about to drag you there myself if you don't—" Kakuzu's eyes went wide from pain as he yelled,

"Let go, let go, let go!" That only caused Hidan to huff,

"See! And besides, you need to stop worrying!" Kakuzu looked at his wife's glaring ruby eyes and stern posture before he finally sighed,

"Look, if I do go to the hospital, you have to promise to have the kids help you out with this."

"I don't have to." Hidan immediately turned down that idea, "I'll have a quarter of all this done by nightfall!"

"…" Kakuzu's silence caused Hidan to deadpan,

"You're thinking that my mouth is writing a check that my ass can't cash, huh?"

"… Pretty much."

"Fucking..!" The albino had to stop himself before he calmed himself down and began again, "Look, this is _me_ we're talking about: Hidan Shiroi Hoku, your wife and the most responsible cat-demon this side of the world?"

"And you're still only _one_ cat-demon…" Kakuzu stated, bringing up the facts, "Do the math with me Hidan: one cat-demon plus thousands of fruit and vegetable crops does not add up."

"Don't you try and confuse me with your fancy mathematic-skills!" Hidan gave a roll of his eyes before crying out, poking Kakuzu's chest with each syllable, "Mark my words, Kakuzu: this season I will make this farm my bitch!" Kakuzu was quiet for a minute. Then he asked,

"There's no convincing you otherwise on this, is there?"

"No way in hell."

"Fine!" Kakuzu groaned, "I'm going to head over to the farm-gates so Kisame can give me a lift to the hospital. Just…" He gave a heavy sigh, "Just don't over-do it, okay?"

"Go on, stitches." Hidan dismissed the other with a wave of his hand. And then, only then, when Kakuzu was out of earshot, Hidan's ears drooped a little from a combination of worrying for his husband _and_ how the hell he was going to get this work done.

* * *

><p>Hidan strolled about the farm, slightly wondering which section he should work on first. He finally decided on apples because, hell, they were the closest. "Better get to work. Can't just hope for some random act of violence to scare all these fruits and vegetables out of their holds." Suddenly, a large rumble went through the ground, causing one of the apples in the tree to shake loose and fall on Hidan's head. "Ow! The fuck?" He turned around, expecting to chastise one of his kids, but gasping out, "Shit…", as he saw the cause of the shaking.<p>

Back near the main part of Adamant Falls, Kisame had just come back from taking Kakuzu to the hospital, but even as he swam through the water he could feel the earth shaking. With a large splash, he broke through the surface and looked out onto the land. He flinched when a cloud of dust could be seen over the horizon and he called out, "Stampede!"

The residents of the town all began screaming as they heard the cry for you see, there were two major farms in Adamant: Goldleaf Farms, which was an all-around farm-land, and MallowHoof (the wife named it) which raised, you guessed it, cows.

Lots.

And lots.

Of cows.

And occasionally, the farmers would lose control of their livestock causing disaster of epic proportions for the village below. And even now, if you were crazy enough to look into the dust-cloud, you would see two demons hanging onto a cow for dear life.

* * *

><p>But back to Adamant Falls. Demons all over began running for shelter, gathering their children, shutting their doors, and… letting themselves be carried along the road?<p>

"_Hey..!"_ Tobi giggled as the vibrations of the ground moved him across it,_ "This… makes… Tobi's… voice… sound… funny!"_

"Tobi, get out of the streets!" Itachi shouted, trying to get his cousin to safety. While the town was in chaos, Tsunade was trying to slow them down,

"Could everyone calm down for just a second?"

"But what are we going to do Tsunade-hime!" Deidara shouted as he rushed over in a sense of over-dramatics, "All hope is lost, un!"

"Look!" Sasori called out, pointing towards the incoming stampede. Amongst all the cows storming the land, you could barely see a blur of white by them. After some of the dust shifted, it was revealed to be Hidan on the back of a white panther with pink eyes. Everyone cheered and whooped as the albino was apparently trying to divert the stampede.

"Let's go Aya!" Hidan shouted to the panther, "Split up in three… two… now!" Hidan jumped off of Aya's back and began running alongside the stampede.

"I can't watch!" Deidara clasped his hands over his eyes. But Tobi had somehow gotten a box of popcorn and was beaming,

"This is the best rodeo that Tobi's ever seen!", before he swallowed a handful of it. Itachi sighed and asked Zetsu,

"How do you deal with him?", to which the plant-demon replied,

"I'm a very patient demon."

* * *

><p>Back in the stampede, Hidan was shoving up against the cows, yelling, "Come on! Turn, damn it! Turn!" After a moment, he smirked and called out, "Aya, give them some motivation!" The panther nodded before bounding up to the front of the herd. When she was able to be seen, she let out a loud roar that sacred the cows into turning away from the village.<p>

"Now stop!" Hidan yelled when the cows had gotten to a safe point.

"Oh thank the gods that they stopped…" One of the herders whispered in relief. But Hidan walked up to them and hissed,

"What in Jashin's name was all that about?"

"_Moo_- I mean, well you see," One of the cow-herding demons explained, "_Someone_ decided that it would be funny to show off his wooden snake-toy to the cows." She gave a pointed stare to her fiancé before sighing, "Need I say anything else?"

"It's fine." Hidan nodded, "Just invest in getting that new fence, okay guys?" The two cow-herders nodded before they began to direct their herds back to their farm,

"Sure thing! Bye Hidan, say hi to Kakuzu for me!" Hidan shook his head before jumping back onto Aya's back and riding back to the entrance of Adamant Falls. "Everyone okay?" He called out. Everyone gave him a general positive response, so the albino nodded before he began to ride back to Goldleaf.

"That cat-demon sure has grown up during these past few years." Tsunade commented, remembering how wild the albino used to be. "Well, our town has once again averted disaster. Tobi, can you organize a banquet?"

"Can I ever!" The young demon exclaimed.

* * *

><p>They decided for a breakfast banquet for next week, so as not to mess with the daily working schedules too much. Everyone was busy setting up the long banquet tables and filling them with food and drink, while others decorated for the event.<p>

"Perfect, un!" Deidara hummed as he finished tying up a large, ruby-shaded ribbon. Sasori, who was checking on the color-scheme of the banquet, nodded in satisfaction,

"Now we just have to wait for show-time!"

"Everything looks great guys…" Itachi commented as he watched the preparations being finished, but then he thought, "Where is Hidan anyway?"

"Haven't seen him since I helped Kakuzu get to the Adamant Sea Hospital a week ago." Kisame answered as he cleaned out the decorative fountain that had been brought in, "But he'll be here! Hidan's never late!"

* * *

><p>It was nearing lunch and Hidan was still nowhere to be seen. The only thing that was still keeping up its moral was the trophy that had been made in Hidan's honor. Just when people were about to start leaving, however,<p>

"Hold up bitches!" Everyone turned and saw a messy head of white wobbling through the crowd. "I'm here! Just had to…" _Yawn._ "Just had to get my kids ready for school, make lunches, and clean the house… Then some more stuff and—Oh, did I get your tail? Apologies!" After a couple more bumps and yawns, Hidan slowly walked onto the stage, causing everyone to collectively raise an eyebrow.

The albino cat-demon's hair was a matted mess, his clothes filthy, and he was carrying two baskets full of apples and peaches on his back as he tiredly took center-seat from Tsunade and announced, "Thanks guys for this…" He squinted his ruby eyes, bags beginning to form underneath them, "Award… Thing. Nice and shiny… Hey, I look funny~!" Hidan purred as he looked at his reflection in the crystal statue. "Whoo~whoo!"

"Okay…" Itachi raised a brow before speaking, "We just wanted to hold this event because of how helpful you always are."

"Yep!" Hidan nodded, almost falling asleep on his feet, "I love… helping people out and… and stuff…" With another yawn, the cat-demon promptly dozed off while standing.

"Hidan?" Deidara called out, Hidan snapping back into consciousness,

"What? Huh? Oh yeah, thanks guys!", and dragging the trophy off-stage as he slowly made his way back home.

"Was it me…" Itachi began, "Or did Hidan seem a little—"

"Tired?" Kisame offered.

"Dizzy?" Zetsu asked.

"Messy?" That one came from Deidara who immediately added, "What? I mean, did you _see_ his hair, un?" Itachi only shook his head before he spoke,

"I'm going to go check on him. Excuse me." He snapped his fingers before he disappeared in a red flash.

* * *

><p>A series of slashes were performed in front of a cherry tree before all the fruit showered down into baskets below. Potatoes were quickly dug out of the ground. Strawberries were slowly plucked from the ground. And apples were sluggishly being knocked from their trees.<p>

Standing up and stretching out a bad kink in his back, Hidan yawned and looked around. He took a step towards the grapevines and tripped over the apple baskets, sending all his work to the ground. "Damn it…" He whispered, panting as he knelt down and began picking the fruit up.

"Hidan?" Said cat-demon looked up and saw Itachi walking over.

"Oh, hey Itachi…" Hidan smiled before he went back to work.

"What is all this?" The weasel-demon asked. Hidan replied, still picking up fruit,

"Every so often, the land will get a surge of chakra that makes all the crops grow at once. At these times," He broke off into another yawn, "Me and Kakuzu gather them up to earn a bit of extra money…" Itachi could only ask as Hidan went to go knock on another tree,

"But why are you doing it by yourself?"

"Kakuzu's in the hospital…" Hidan yawned, knocking on the tree; a few apples falling. "Broke his arm…"

"What about the kids?" The brunette offered, Hidan immediately retorting,

"They have to go to school!" He panted for a second before he explained, "From the day… That I had my first child, I swore that there would be nothing to stop them from getting an education…"

"But you obviously can't do this by yourself!"

"Like hell I can't!" Hidan hissed back before punching the tree, the rest of the apples falling into the baskets below. "See? If I do all the work, my kids won't have to worry about anything but school-work. So, I should get back to work…"

"Okay…" Itachi shrugged his shoulders moving away from Hidan. But Hidan tilted his head, asking,

"Can you move aside, Itachi?"

"I just did!" Itachi replied from at least five feet away.

"Oh." Hidan shook his head, moving onto the tomato-garden. "Everything's just fine Ita—FUCK!" He yowled as he tripped over the wire-fencing of the tomato-garden.

"I would be more than happy to help you out, Hidan…" Itachi offered, just for Hidan to snap back,

"I'm fine Itachi! I don't have to bother anyone because this'll be done in no time!" Itachi could pretty much sense that this was going nowhere, so he simply teleported back home; saying,

"Just don't overdo it." As he left. When he was alone, Hidan nearly fell asleep amongst the vibrant red fruits before he remembered,

"Fuck! Kisame needed me to help him do something!"

* * *

><p>Kisame was sitting on a good-sized boat as he waited for Hidan to show up. It was mid-afternoon, though, and he was starting to get a bit worried…<p>

"Sorry, sorry!" Hidan called out as he rushed onto the boat at top-speed, "I was busy working and I lost track of time!" He yawned again before asking, "What was this training you need my help with?" Kisame smiled, rowing out for a little while, before patting the boulder next to him.

"Just some simple weight training. You see, I cut this guy from the bigger one besides you so I can swim with it down into the undersea current and hopefully gather enough speed so that when I throw it, it will shatter into smaller pieces; hopefully containing a precious stone or two." Hidan gulped, looking at the two large boulders,

"Isn't that kind of… Dangerous?"

"Not for a water-demon!" Kisame smiled, tying one end of a rope to himself. Hidan returned the gesture, saying,

"You're probably right…" But when he looked at the water, a shiver went through his spine.

"Come on Hidan, tie the rope!" Kisame exclaimed with a smile. Hidan took his end of the rope and looked at the two rocks, trying to remember which one to tie up. But in his exhaustion-laced mind, the two rocks looked the same and kept switching places with one another. He ended up tying the rope the giant boulder and then Kisame said, "Now just push it over the side of the boat…"

It took a bit of pushing, but Hidan almost had the rock over the edge of the boat. It was then that Kisame turned around and nearly screamed, "Wait, no!" But Hidan had already pushed the boulder over, yanking Kisame under the waves, _"HIDAN~!"_

"You're welcome!"

* * *

><p>Itachi was taking a stroll along the beach later that day, looking for a group of sea-shells that he had seen in one of the library's books of beach-related items. He was about to pick up a pretty sunset-orange one when he saw a group of fishing demons struggling to pull up a catch.<p>

"It's a big one isn't it?" He commented as he walked over. They all agreed and with one final heave, they pulled it up, revealing, "Kisame?" The shark-demon was panting, his eyes wide, and his pants torn from fighting with the current. "My gods, do you need any help?" Kisame slowly turned his head and gritted out,

"I think… that someone _else_… could use your help."

"Hidan?" Itachi asked.

"Oh yeah."

* * *

><p>Hidan was currently picking acorns up from beneath the acorn trees back at Goldleaf. He had gotten a good handful but when he stood up, he slammed the back of his head against a tree branch. "Shit! Fucking… Ouch!" He had hit himself so hard that his ears were ringing. Which explained how when Itachi teleported in and asked,<p>

"Hidan, can we talk?" Hidan replied,

"Can bees squawk? I don't know about that, but thanks for reminding me about the bees! I have to harvest their honey later on today."

"What? No!" Itachi screamed, "I need to talk to you!"

"You need to walk to the zoo?" Hidan asked, "What's stopping you?"

"I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!" Itachi screamed again, Hidan nodding,

"Oh! Why didn't you just say so?" Rather than have a conniption, Itachi sighed,

"I saw Kisame today—"

"That's nice!" Hidan nodded, "I always knew you two would get along great!"

"No, I literally _saw_ him about to be sold for 3.50 a pound after he had to be fished up from underwater!"

"Oh, right…" Hidan yawned, taking a seat on the ground, "I wasn't really on my A-game this morning…"

"Because you need help!" Itachi exclaimed, Hidan raising an eyebrow,

"Kelp? I don't even like seaweed that much!"

"Help, Hidan, Help!" Itachi corrected, shaking the cat-demon's shoulders.

"No! I don't!" Hidan hissed before he looked at the sky and noticed, "It's about time the kids start coming home from school. I gotta go make them dinner and get them to bed…" The albino wobbled away towards the house, Itachi shaking his head,

"Gods help that stubborn demon.", before he teleported home for the evening.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Please review! **

**-Tyranno's girl**


	8. Cat at Work Part 2

**A/N: I love these mid-section notes. Let's see. Oh, random bit of info: the episode that this update is based on, 'Applebuck Season', is actually one of my two favorite episodes of the season. The other one… You will find out soon.**

* * *

><p>"Tobi-chan…" The next morning, inside Tobi's bakery, <em>Swirl<em>, a young demoness was making sure that everything was set for the order she had just placed, "Are you sure you'll be alright with this? It's a lot of muffins, and I know that I'm putting this on you at the last minute…"

"No problem!" Tobi smiled, "And besides, I have the most helpful demon in Adamant Falls with me, Hidan!" Hidan was even more exhausted than yesterday. He could barely see straight and had to keep shaking his head to clear his senses.

"You're _not_ the most helpful demon?" The demoness asked, Hidan immediately answering,

"No! It's fine! I'm fine! Everything's _fine_."

"Okay…" The demoness nodded before thanking Tobi once more and leaving to prepare for her store opening. Hidan wanted to sit down, catch a couple seconds of sleep, but Tobi immediately yanked him to the kitchen.

* * *

><p>"Okay! Let's get started on these bad boys!" Tobi smiled as he got a bowl ready, "Alrighty, Hidan the first thing we need are lots of chocolate chips!" Hidan, who had almost made a pillow out of a sack of flour, jumped up and asked,<p>

"What was that?" When Tobi said it again, Hidan's mind was taking everything at half-speed, so he heard: "Chips! Okay, chips!" He walked to the cabinet, being thankful that Tobi's bakery was also a party supply store, and found a big bag of sea-salt and vinegar potato chips. "Yeah, potato-chips. Nice and dry."

After he deftly poured them into the bowl while Tobi was busy with the recipe book, he asked, "What next?"

"Baking soda!"

"Soda? Oh yeah, of course!" Hidan opened the fridge and got a jug of grape soda. He poured the sticky drink into the bowl, commenting, "That'll soften up those chips!"

"Then can you add a cup of flour?" Tobi asked, Hidan thinking,

"A cup of _sour_? Hm… Oh!" He went back to the fridge and found a bowl of lemons. "Let's just juice these right up and…" He poured the cup of freshly squeezed lemon juice into the bowl before Tobi smiled,

"One last thing: wheat-germ!" Hidan almost puked as he thought,

"Wheat-worms? Oh, they have to mean earthworms!" He rushed outside and dug into the ground until he found a handful of squishy, filthy worms. As he dropped them into the bowl, Tobi smiled,

"That's going to be delicious!" But Hidan could only look into the bowl and frown,

"If you say so…"

* * *

><p>After the muffins had safely been delivered, Tobi and Hidan stayed to help the demoness advertise her new store. "Free muffin spectacular! Come into the store and get a free muffin!"<p>

"Yep, free muffin-spectacles!" Hidan slurred out, "Get them while they're hot!" Of course, everyone in Adamant Falls loved Tobi's desserts, so they rushed forward and took their free samples without a second thought…

* * *

><p>Two young nursing demons, a brunette named Shizune and a pinkette cherry-blossom demon named Sakura, opened the door to the Adamant Falls Minor Clinic to see Itachi and Sasuke. "We came as soon as we heard." Itachi explained.<p>

"Thank you Itachi," Shizune bowed before Sakura pulled at the curtain,

"We're going to need all the help we can get." All the beds, couches, and chairs were filled with ailing demons either clutching at their stomachs in pain, vomiting into buckets, or rocking back and forth in agony.

"What the hell happened here?" Sasuke asked, just before he found a half-eaten muffin on the ground.

"It was a mishap with some of the baked goods." Shizune explained as Itachi went over to see Tobi lying in bed.

"Itachi…" The young demon whimpered, "Tobi never wants to see another muffin as long as he lives, okay?"

"Hidan…" The weasel-demon growled. But just then, Sasuke exclaimed,

"These things aren't half-bad!", as he was eating the remains of the muffins he had found, his cast-iron dragon-stomach handling it all. "Want one?" But the glare that Itachi sent him immediately had him sighing, "I just asked, damn…"

* * *

><p>Hidan slowly washed a bushel of blueberries he had just picked, but before long he was falling asleep at the stream. "Hidan! We need to talk!"<p>

"Huh?" He shot up, looking over to see Itachi walking over. "Itachi, please don't talk about me needing help again!"

"But your stubbornness is screwing everyone else over!"

"Hey!" Hidan snapped, "Who's the parent here? Huh? HUH?" Itachi could only sigh,

"You."

"That's right! So if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go put these berries in the cooling-shed and then I'll be off to help Zetsu with his errands." And thus, before Itachi could say anything to prevent him, Hidan was gone.

* * *

><p>In the forest of Adamant Falls, Zetsu was currently guiding Hidan through and speaking, "Thank you so much for helping me with the rabbit-census, Hidan." Hidan's drowsy eyes looked at all the rabbits hopping about before he asked,<p>

"_Why_ are we doing this?"

"Well, you see, lots of new baby rabbits have been born this season and it's my job to keep track of their numbers."

"Fine, can we hurry up with this?"

"Of course but remember," Zetsu explained, "These are rabbits, not cattle, they're a timid bunch and must be treated as such.

"Like I need advice on gathering things," Hidan scoffed, "Right Aya?" The white panther who was accompanying him purred in agreement. They soon arrived at the center of the clearing, where Zetsu kneeled down and addressed the rabbits,

"Alright everyone. I need you to gather in a nice little group over here please." The rabbits were about to cooperate until Hidan stomped over and called out,

"Yeah! Get over here you little carrot-munching bastards!" The rabbits took one glance at Hidan and Aya and they bolted, en mass, towards town.

"Oh no… Hidan, Aya, you scared them…" Zetsu sighed.

* * *

><p>"Hm?" Itachi blinked as he walked past the library door-step. There, holding a bento-box, was Hidan's youngest daughter Kira. "Kira-chan, how nice to see you today." Kira's fluffy ears twitched before she looked up and replied,<p>

"Hi Itachi…"

"Is everything okay?" The brunette asked before Kira sighed and began to beg,

"Can you please go check on my Mama for me?"

"What?"

"I know that he has a lot of work since Papa went to get his arm fixed up," Kira sniffled, "But Mama won't let any of us help him! He keeps saying that he'll handle it all, we just need to go to our studies! But…" Itachi flinched as he saw those wide, ruby eyes tearing up, "I'm scared… He almost sliced his hand open three times while cooking this morning and he keeps hurting himself while working… And he seems so dizzy and tired all the time~!"

"Shh…" Itachi whispered, gathering the girl up into his arms, "It will be alright… Don't worry. I'll go talk to your Mama about stopping all this craziness, okay?" Kira sniffled as she wiped away her tears,

"Okay."

"Good, now just sit here and eat your lunch, alright?" Kira frowned before she opened the box, saying,

"Actually," She pulled out a bunch of spoons, "This is all Mama packed: Kiro got forks, and Kire got chopsticks… I think Mama must have been in a hurry because he forgot to put in any food."

That tore it.

"Sasuke!" Itachi called out, one of the library's higher windows opening up and the dragon calling back,

"What?"

"Fix Kira something to eat while I talk some sense into Hidan, would you?" Itachi called up before he quickly ran to the main part of the village.

* * *

><p>Kisame had just gotten out from the pharmacy (he needed something for his cuts) when he looked out over the horizon and shouted, "AGAIN?"<p>

* * *

><p>Itachi made it into town just to see a bunch of demons lying in the street. "The horror! The <em>horror<em>!" One of them screamed.

"A complete and utter disaster!" Itachi blinked and looked at the town, which seemed perfectly fine.

"I don't get it." He frowned. But then he saw the large group of rabbits who were eating all the plants in town.

"No, wait!" Zetsu cried out as he rushed in, "Please stop that! Let's go home! _Please?_" Itachi practically saw red as he teleported to Goldleaf Farms.

* * *

><p>"Come on…" Hidan whimpered as he gently knocked on an apple tree. Itachi appeared and immediately went to Hidan, shouting,<p>

"Alright, pay attention here you non-listening, shark-sinking, demon-poisoning, child-neglecting rabbit-traumatizing pain in the ass!"

"I don't know about all that other shit," Hidan hissed, "But don't you _ever_ accuse me of neglecting my kids! And besides, look!" He waved an arm so that Itachi could see all his hard work, "I harvested every fruit and vegetable here in Goldleaf Farms! Me! All by myself!" He allowed himself a bit of a laugh before he asked, "How do you like them apples?" Suddenly, he felt a tap on his shoulders. Hidan turned and gasped in joy,

"Kakuzu! You're back from the hospital!" The stitch-demon didn't share the joy, his face stern upon seeing his wife's haggard appearance. "What's wrong big guy?" Kakuzu quietly turned Hidan around and asked,

"How do you like _those_ apples?" Hidan's eyes went wide as he saw a whole other half of the farm that was awaiting harvesting. "And those eggplants, and those leeks, and those lemons, and those pomegranates…"

"But… I… I… The farm – And the picking! And—" It was all too much for the cat-demon who, out of nowhere, finally passed out from sheer exhaustion.

* * *

><p>"Huh?" Hidan's vision was fuzzy as he slowly regained consciousness. "Where am I..?" When his sight cleared, he saw Kira sleeping by his side. All the motion caused her to shift and turn towards him before she smiled and cried out,<p>

"Mama!", hugging Hidan for all her little body was worth. Hidan was still confused, so he whispered,

"What happened Kira?"

"I'll answer that." Itachi stated as he walked into the room at the right time. "You fainted from exhaustion and we had to rush you to the clinic. But most importantly Hidan, I know that you're the one who likes to do the helping. But you have to accept help at times to or else you'll end up killing yourself one of these days!"

"You're right Itachi…"

"I will not accept – Wait, WHAT?" The weasel-demon yelped before Hidan grabbed Itachi's hands and begged,

"Please. _Please_ help me."

"And _finally_ he asks for it!" That was Sasori's voice speaking from behind the door where everyone was _supposed_ to be _secretly_ listening in. "I mean, you haven't heard a thing! Ooh! It's the wind!"

"Danna. Just stop."

* * *

><p>So, all the way into the night, the group of demons worked at harvesting the produces of Goldleaf farm until finally, <em>finally<em>, the very last peach was picked from its tree.

"Damn, all that harvesting is hungry work!" Kisame whistled as they sat down. Everyone agreed until Sasuke walked over and said,

"I know just what you guys need!", and pulled out a basket of the muffins from earlier.

"Sasuke!" Tobi nearly wretched out, "Tobi threw those into an incinerator! Where did you get them?"

"From the incinerator of course!" Sasuke explained, clear as day, as he popped one of the burnt bits into his mouth. Zetsu turned towards Itachi and asked,

"How do you deal with him?"

"With a lot of patience and a _lot_ of prayer." Itachi replied.

* * *

><p><strong>OMAKE<strong>

They had decided to go out to eat after the harvesting had been done, but Sasuke was fine with his muffins. Until…

"Can I try one?" Sasuke nearly choked before he looked up and saw Naruto standing besides him.

"Sure…" Sasuke sighed as he handed the fox-demon one of the muffins, "Where were you these past two days?" Naruto sniffed at the burnt muffin before taking a bite of it and saying,

"I had to go to Konoha for an errand. And you know…" He took another bite, "This is actually pretty good!"

"_I think I've fallen in love with him… Again!"_ But Naruto was ignoring Sasuke's staring and asked,

"So where is everybody?"

"Out at dinner, celebrating the harvest." Sasuke explained, snapping out of his daze. Naruto nodded but then he sighed,

"And I already ate before I left Konoha too. Oh well, I guess I'll just head home to Kisame's then…"

"Hey, wait a minute, I…" Sasuke had it all planned in his mind: he would offer to escort the young fox-demon home, Naruto would accept, and along the way the two would get to know each other better. There was just _one _thing that Sasuke didn't count on.

That ass!

As soon as Naruto turned and began walking away, Sasuke's eyes popped out of his head and his tongue lolled out of his mouth akin to the wolf in the Tex Avery cartoons. And after a few moments, Naruto was out of sight: leaving a depressed and lonely dragon.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**Well, that's this update. Hope you guys liked it… Review please; they make me feel so much happier. **

**-Tyranno's girl. **


	9. Slumbering Antics Part 1

**A/N: Another week, another update! Unfortunately, I am none too pleased about this update. Mostly because it was late (damn my lack of wi-fi!) and also maybe because I had a headache the whole time I was writing it. Oh well… **

**Let's do the weekly shout-out to: Alexa Hiwatari, Zetsu's Rose, DancingPinkCows (God, I love your penname and welcome to the herd!), FMJ26, CL1005, and one anonymous reviewer who didn't leave a name!**

**Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto **_**or**_** My Little Pony. Nyeh.**

* * *

><p>Adamant Falls: a small beach-side suburb where the sun always shines…<p>

Except for today.

A few flying demons were busy transferring clouds filled to the brim with water (courtesy of the water-watch demons) over the town and across the sky until the blue had turned gray. On the ground below, other demons were making sure that all heavy objects were fastened to the ground or they were breaking off small branches from trees. They were expecting one hell of a storm.

One of them, a blonde bird-demon by the name of Deidara, was in charge of one of the trees when inspiration suddenly struck. He looked at the branches for a good, long moment before he smiled and snapped his fingers. A moment later, the leaves of the branches had been cut into hearts, flowers, canaries, and scorpions. "Wonderful, un." He sighed, happy with his work.

Out of nowhere, however, a scythe was quickly whipped about the tree, cutting all the branches and trees from the ground. "What the-?" He began to whine before he looked and saw Hidan cleaning his scythe from the bit of work.

"Would you just prune the damn trees, Deidara? There are more important things than making things look pretty!" The cat-demon huffed, looking for any other trees that needed a bit of help.

"Well, you could at least do your job with a bit more finesse, un." The blonde huffed, looking at all the leaves and scattered wood, "You're making a mess of the park!"

"Well the storm that Kisame and the other water-demons are brewing up is going to make an even _bigger_ mess if we don't clear some of the weak branches away!" Deidara could only sigh as he looked at what _could_ have been a nice day.

"I just don't understand why Kisame had to schedule a storm for today, un. Sasori's out of town on a fabric run, so I thought I could have a bit of a day to myself."

"Well they had to skip last week's rainfall," Hidan explained, "So they need a downpour today to make up for it." Just then, a loud horn sounded from underneath the waves; signaling the start of the storm.

* * *

><p>Underneath the waves, Kisame had just finished blowing the seashell horn he had made for these occurrences before he called to his fellow water-watchers, <em>"Alright, we're going to be here until morning, so let's get this show on the road!"<em> They all shouted in agreement before taking their positions.

To make a tropical downpour, Kisame needed the chakra and skill of his fellow water-watchers. After all, storms don't just affect the skies, they affect the oceans too.

"_Heave…"_ He breathed out as he forced some of his own chakra into the water, causing a slight change in the current.

"_Ho!"_ The others shouted, using their own chakra to bring the water back. This cycle went on and on until the oceans waters were a churning pool of whipping greys and blues, which triggered the rain-clouds above to begin unleashing their weight as well.

* * *

><p>Deidara yelped when the first drops of rain began to fall, then he whined, "No~! My new hair and feather highlights will be ruined, un!" Hidan only scoffed,<p>

"That's why you should have hurried up and finished your work…"

"Oh no! Wait! Stop!" The blonde yelped and squawked as he ran and flitted about, trying to avoid the falling water, "It's coming down too fast! No! Help me, un~!"

"For gods' sake…" Hidan gritted out before he looked around the park. His ruby eyes narrowed in on a wooden table. "There. Hide under there to your heart's content while I finish this." Deidara didn't shift into bird-form, but he practically _flew_ to the table. However, he took one look at the mud underneath it and screamed,

"Oh no! No! _No!_"

"What is it now?" Hidan yowled, running after the blonde demon. Deidara's whip quivered as he held up one of his feet, showing off shiny, blue sandals.

"I just got these shoes, un…"

"Are you fucking serious?" Hidan yowled, "You are so damn fussy! None of my kids were as fussy as you when _they_ were babies!"

"Well I don't think that I should have to ruin my shoes!" Deidara pouted. Hidan only shook his head,

"I am not going to argue with you over this shit…" And was about to try and leave when Deidara huffed,

"Because _I_ would win, un."

"What was that?" It was an intriguing scene: the albino cat-demon staring down the blonde-haired, blue-eyed bird demon. Finally, Deidara frowned,

"What do you say that we go our separate ways before one of us says something that he'll regret?"

"Even though I bet that it would be _you_." Hidan smirked, the two demons slowly backing up from one another –

A crash of lightening forced them to rush back and cling to each other in fear (cat-traits and bird-traits be damned…). "Maybe we should stick together, un."

"Just until the storm passes." Hidan agreed.

* * *

><p>The skies screamed and roared as the thunderstorm whipped through them; sheets of frigid rain swamping the earth while the tropical storm ravaged the beachside town. Fortunately, Hidan was able to bunker down underneath the table that he had pointed out earlier.<p>

"There," He smiled, "Safe and dry…" But he then looked at his claws, clothes, and shoes which had gotten caked with mud, "For the most part."

"Nuh-uh!" Deidara yelled, fighting his way against the punishing winds, "Simply unacceptable, un!" So they were forced to try and endure the storm waters, not at all confident when the area started to flood, when a call of,

"Hidan! Deidara!", caused both demons to follow the direction of the noise, which led to, of all places, Itachi's library. "Come inside!" The weasel-demon called out, a ball of flame lighting the way for the two to follow. "Hurry up before you guys catch something!"

"You don't have to tell me twice!" Hidan yelled before rushing over, Deidara following until after a couple slips and falls they made it to the library's doorstep.

"Is this place safe, un?" Deidara asked as a flash of lightening filled him with sudden dread.

"Don't worry," Itachi smiled, going to get some towels for the two, "Before he left for Konoha errands, me and Sasuke ordered a magic lightening-rod just in case this happened." That was enough for Deidara to stroll right in, saying,

"Thanks so much for this Itachi…" He trailed off, however, when he saw Hidan walking in with mud all over his clothes and shoes.

"Itachi, you're fucking awesome for doing this! I mean—What?" The blonde stopped the albino from walking through the door, silently pointing to the mud before saying,

"Be a polite houseguest and clean that up, would you?", and walking over to get one of the towels, leaving a hissing Hidan to whisper all sorts of obscenities about the bird-demon as he went outside.

"Such a storm…" Itachi commented as Deidara took one of the fluffy, warm towels, "Kisame and the other water-demons must have really outdone themselves."

"Yeah. I don't know how anyone could make it to their homes in this weather, un." Deidara sighed. As he walked over to turn on another light, Itachi offered,

"Well, you're more than welcome to stay here. With Sasuke gone, I could use the company and—" He blinked before a malicious little smile grew on his face. "You and Hidan should stay the night!

_For a sleepover!_" The towel dropped from Deidara's hands as one of his eyebrows twitched. First of all, did those words _really_ just pass Itachi's lips? Second of all, a whole night?

With Hidan of all people?

He spared a glance towards the back window, being able to see Hidan struggling with the water-hose _and_ the rain. "Why do you want to have a sleepover, un?" Deidara gingerly spoke, "You're not the type to have any type of party without a reason."

"You're right," Itachi nodded, walking to his desk where a pink and purple decorated book sat. "In fact, it wasn't even my original intention. You see, a couple of days ago…"

"_You guys aren't any fun." That had come from Tobi as the young demon was working on a wedding cake that he had to deliver two towns over. Itachi had come over to buy a few small pastries, but the comment had gotten to him. _

"_Excuse me?" _

"_Well, maybe Sasuke…" Tobi sighed as he piped a small icing flower next to a fondant bee, "But you never go out and do fun things, Itachi." _

"_I'm fun!" Itachi protested, "Just last week I repainted and organized the children's section of the library!" Tobi merely frowned before he opened a nearby draw and pulled out an item that he quickly tossed to Itachi. "What's this?" The weasel-demon asked, inspecting the pink and purple book. Tobi only smiled and said, _

"_If you can complete the checklist in that book Itachi, maybe then I'll take back my words. Also," He beamed, "I'll make you three boxes of dango! On the house!"_

"And _that_ is why I have this!" Itachi announced, holding up the book that read: 'Uchiha Tobi's Flawless Guide to Sleepovers and Slumber Parties – Everything That You Need To Know About Them But Were Too Afraid To Ask'.

"Well…" Deidara gulped, "That sounds exquisite, un. But I just remembered that Saso is probably at home _all alone_ and waiting for his Mommy to come home. So I should get going and—"

"Oh, not a problem!" Itachi began, holding up a scroll of aqua-shaded paper. "I have creeping-paper! You can use it to send a message to Saso and tell him you're alright."

"Oh yay…" Deidara frowned, taking the paper and writing a quick note before the small slip took the shape of an insect and skittered off.

* * *

><p>"I got the mud off, Deidara you fucking pussy…" Hidan gritted as he walked in, clean but soaking wet. He looked around, trying to find the other two when he saw something that made him yowl, "What the hell?" Itachi and Deidara's faces were covered in some sort of greenish-mud, Deidara adding a bit more to Itachi's cheeks before Hidan sputtered out, "Wait, wait! Whoa-whoa-whoa! So it's the sin of all sins for me to have mud on my shoes, but here you guys are putting it on your faces?" Deidara could only scoff before smiling,<p>

"Silly! This is a mud-_mask_, un! It's to refresh and revitalize the complexion!" Itachi scribbled something in the book before he nodded,

"Makeovers… Check."

"Can I see that for a second?" Hidan asked, Itachi handing him the book. But as soon as the cat-demon read 'Slumber Party', his hair bristled and he coughed out, "Oh, oh boy! Would you look at the time? I have to get home and start dinner otherwise Kuzu will worry about where I am!" He blinked when Itachi handed him a slip of creeping paper, but he could only sigh and write a small message before the paper scampered off.

"That dango is as good as mine!" Itachi whooped but quickly redeemed himself, "I mean, yay. Slumber party. Whoo." Hidan tried to sit down, but no sooner had he that a smudge of facial-mud was thrown onto his face; Deidara immediately rubbing it into his skin.

"You knew about this…" Hidan quietly hissed as Deidara evened out the mud.

"The creeping-paper yes," The blonde smiled, "The sleepover, no." When the mud was even, Deidara grabbed a couple of cucumber slices and covered the cat-demon's eyes.

"What the hell are these for?"

"Un…" Deidara groaned before explaining, as if _everyone_ knew about facial-work, "To reduce the bags under your eyes, of course."

"What bags?" Hidan frowned before taking the cucumbers away from his eyes and stating, "If you guys didn't worry about such tiny things, you wouldn't waste time or, more importantly, food on nonsense!" And with that, Hidan popped the slices into his mouth and chewed away.

"Hidan, damn it, I will not let you ruin Itachi's first sleepover!" Deidara whispered, Hidan whispering back,

"Then you shouldn't fuck around with me tonight, bird-brain!"

"So do we have a truce then, un?"

"Yeah…" Hidan sighed before clearing his throat and spitting into his hand, handing it to Deidara for a shake.

"Ew!" Deidara cried, "You know, there's being messy and then there's being a pig, un!" Hidan was about to scream, Deidara's insulting words getting to be a bit much, but he held it back in the form of,

"There's being fussy and then there's being an annoying, bitchy, whiny pussy!" Just before the two got into a fight, Itachi called out,

"Okay, next thing that the book says is that we should work on is hair."

* * *

><p>"How's everyone doing?" Deidara asked as he walked around and checked on Itachi and Hidan; all three of them with their hair in curlers.<p>

"Fine…" Hidan frowned, just itching to rip the girly crap out of his hair.

"I suppose that we've done enough in the makeover category…" Itachi hummed, scribbling into the book before he asked Deidara to take out the curlers. In a yellow flash, the curlers were gone (much to Hidan's relief) and Itachi turned the page in Tobi's book, stating, "Next up we have ghost stories."

"I got one!" Hidan shot up his hand before smirking, "Have you guys ever heard of the story of the frilly, fussy, wussified demon who drove everyone insane with his constant bitching? Whoo~oo!", he ended, wiggling his fingers to give a scary-air. Deidara frowned before he said,

"No. But have _you_ heard of the mystery of the messy, inconsiderate ghost; ruining everything that his grimy paws settled on and irritated everyone within 100 miles? Whoo~oo~ooo!", the blonde wiggled his fingers about before giving a pointed glance towards Hidan.

"You know what…" Itachi began, "I've come across a few scary stories in my studies. Let me try…"

* * *

><p>Deidara and Hidan could be seen clutching at each other, eyes wide in fear as Itachi relayed his tale: a story so terrifying of a murder so foul…<p>

"'Stabbing the knife with force strong enough to break bone, she rendered her sister's body to the point of bloody irrecognition. Her eyes were glazed over in a twisted sort of glee as she soon started to think of just what to do with the mess at hand.

But then, the shining of a cooking pot got her attention. Well, she _did_ still have to make her sister's husband dinner…'"

"Okay, un!" Deidara whined, waving his hands in a surrendering motion. "Enough! No more, please!" Hidan gulped before adding,

"Yeah… Not that I haven't heard scarier, but isn't there more shit on the check-off list that we have to do?"

"That's right!" Itachi nodded before turning the page and explaining, "The book says that next we should make some sweets; s'mores, cupcakes, ice cream…"

"Cookies!" Deidara smiled before dragging Itachi and Hidan into the kitchen.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**So… Who wants to review? Anyone? Any takers? **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	10. Slumbering Antics Part 2

**A/N: You know, I could go for some cookies right about now. Or maybe some cake. But unfortunately, as we all know… **

**The cake is a lie! And that's your over-used internet meme of the week. Please read on.**

* * *

><p>"I never really liked baking…" Itachi sighed as his hands were now caked in cookie dough. Deidara placed the last of the cookie sheets into the oven before agreeing,<p>

"It does make a bit of a mess, un… But luckily we can easily clean it up—"

"Why bother?" Hidan interjected before he began lapping the dough off of his hands. "You can just eat it off! Mm, this is actually pretty good…"

"Disgusting…" Deidara muttered before he looked at the timer and noticed, "We still have some time before the cookies are done." A devious smirk grew on his face, "Maybe we should kick this sleepover into a more… _adult_ mode?" Hidan merely raised an eyebrow as a slight blush grew on Itachi's face, the weasel-demon asking,

"What did you have in mind?"

"We should talk about our sex lives, un!" Deidara explained, going to dim the kitchen lights and gather everyone to the table. You could obviously tell that Hidan had slightly gotten interested, but Itachi was nothing but flustered; his cheeks blazing red.

"But…" Itachi whispered, hiding his face out of shame, "What if we don't… have any?"

"Then you can just listen to ours!" Hidan smiled, but he had to chuckle, "Though I'm pretty sure that if a certain shark-demon had his way, you wouldn't be blushing so much right now."

"What are you talking about?" Itachi yelped, his ears and tail bristling up.

"Come on, un!" Deidara rolled his eyes, "You _have_ to have noticed the chemistry between you two!"

"No I haven't!" Itachi replied, averting his eyes, "I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"Give it a rest blondie," Hidan shook his head with a smile, "All things in good time."

"Well," Itachi spoke up, "Why don't _you two_ talk about your sex-lives if it's so important!" Hidan though about if for a moment before he began,

"Well, truth be told, I've never had to do anything special for the bastard to get all hot and bothered." Hidan closed his eyes as he remembered, "I remember we were working in the wheat-field one day…"

_The swift sounds of a blade cutting through something could be heard all throughout the air around Goldleaf Farms. In the fair-sized wheat-field that sat adjacent to the farmhouse, cat-demon Hidan found himself slicing a path through the thick, bountiful wheat-stalks. Trailing behind him, Kakuzu would tie up whatever Hidan had cut down and toss it into the wagon he was pulling along. _

_They had been out for around an hour before Kakuzu looked ahead and saw Hidan hard at work. The albino had forgone a shirt that day, small beads of sweat dripping down his neck and slim chest as he sliced through the bronze plants. _

_Kakuzu wouldn't like to admit it, but seeing Hidan working hard, panting from his exertions, was more erotic than any sort of revealing clothing or any magazine he had ever seen. Looking back at the wagon, the brunette decided that they had done enough so far. _

_He quietly snuck up behind the albino (a feat in itself because of Hidan's sensitive ears) and before Hidan could turn around, he grasped the base of the cat-demon's tail and nipped at one of the fluffy white ears. The effect was immediate: _

"_Mrrr…" Hidan purred besides himself, "Kakuzu, what the hell..?" _

"_We have more than enough wheat for the mill…" The brunette muttered just before he latched his teeth onto the pale column of his wife's neck; stroking the fluffy tail like he would soon be touching a more intimate part of the cat-demon's anatomy. _

"_I'll fucking – Nya~!" Hidan's body was responding, even though his mind wanted him to do more than force the sturdy body of his husband away, but his conflicting feelings were getting the best of him. "Kill you for this! Oh Jashin, that's good…" Finally, his face red and his breathing unsteady, he hissed out, "I swear to Jashin if you don't pull out this time…" _

"_Mm-hm…" Kakuzu murmured back, intending on doing no such thing, before he pushed Hidan to the dusty ground… _

"In fact…" Hidan hummed as he subconsciously rubbed his stomach, "I think that was around the time I conceived Soba and Yakisoba."

"…" Itachi was quiet as a mouse, the blush on his face getting worse before Deidara huffed,

"Just like how you act, your sex-life is so unrefined, un!"

"And let me guess," Hidan frowned, "Sex with Sasori is all flowers and lace?" For a moment, Deidara was quiet. Then…

"More like scented candles and sweets, un."

_A contented chirp filled the warm air of the master bathroom in Sasori and Deidara's house. Steaming air laced with the delicate scents of lavenders and lilies drifting through the blue and copper tiled bathroom, where Deidara lay relaxing in the Jacuzzi-style bath-tub. _

_With his sunshine locks drifting into the water, Deidara felt so calm; the incense that Sasori had lit was also getting him in the mood for a little bedroom fun. _

_Thank goodness that Saso was already in bed. _

_The door gently opened, Sasori walking in clad in only a copper bath-robe; carrying a tray of strawberries and cherries. _

"_Enjoying yourself?" He asked as he sat down on the bath's edge before taking a strawberry in his fingers and feeding Deidara by hand. _

"_Even more so now, un." The blonde replied before silently asking for another strawberry, but Sasori had other plans. The red-head slowly removed his robe, revealing the body that Deidara loved so much, before he slid into the tub. Then he took a strawberry and pressed it to Deidara's lips before moving forward, eating what fruit Deidara had left and changing the simple motions into a deep kiss; letting his fingers slide down the blonde's skin…_

"It's actually embarrassing for me to admit, but he took me right then and there in the tub, un! Such heat, such passion—"

"Okay, okay!" Itachi interrupted Deidara's recollection, face burning red, "I think that the cookies should be just about done by now!"

* * *

><p>Sure enough, the simple sugar cookies had been baked to a golden brown; much to Deidara's delight. "Now we just have to decorate them and they'll be perfect!"<p>

"Or…" Hidan smiled, grabbing a handful of cookies, "We can stop pussying around and eat!" And with that, he shoved the cookies into his mouth and happily chomped away; completely ignoring Deidara's appalled looks until he let out a large belch of satisfaction.

"Un… You could at _least_ say excuse me!" Deidara huffed, Hidan snapping back,

"I was just about to if you hadn't interrupted me!"

"Well?" Hidan wiped his mouth before muttering,

"Pardon me." Itachi, who had apparently been ignoring the bickering of the two all night, skimmed through the book before he stated,

"The next item on the list is truth or dare and since I've heard more than enough truth from you two…" Before the bird-demon could say anything, Hidan called out,

"I _dare_ Deidara to stay out in the rain and let his precious hair get ruined again!"

"Wait! What the-?"

"You have to do it Deidara," Itachi explained, pointing to a certain page in the book, "It's the rules." Deidara stood still for a moment, but with an angry chirp, he quietly walked outside. Hidan had to hold back snickers and laughs as he heard the blonde's tears and whines from outside before he came back in; drenched to the bone and his hair drooping down with the water's weight.

"Two can play at this game, un!" Deidara narrowed his eyes, trying to stare the albino down as he stalked forward, "I _dare_ Hidan to play dress up! In a fancy, frou-frou, frilly outfit!"

"Fuck…" Hidan hissed before he went down to the library's children section, walking back up dressed like a pretty, fairy princess in a pink tutu. "Happy?" Deidara smirked,

"Very."

"Guys, do I get a turn?" Itachi asked.

"No!" Deidara and Hidan shouted before they started yelling random dares that branched from milking a bull, performing a perfect manicure, killing a chicken, to dying one's hair in rainbow colors before finally, Itachi sighed,

"Okay, truth or dare: done," Checking the game off of the list. He read the next page silently before raising an eyebrow, "The next thing is a… pillow fight?"

"Oh _please_!" Deidara rolled his eyes, folding his arms, "As if I would ever participate in something so childish and _crude_."

No sooner had he said the words did Deidara find his face briskly acquainted with a pillow, courtesy of Hidan. "Oh!" He sputtered, tearing the fluffy pillow away with blue eyes filled with fury. "It… is… On!" **( 1 ) **He quickly grabbed the pillow and tossed it back towards Hidan; connecting with the albino's face.

Hidan hissed before he grabbed a trio of pillows and flung them all towards Deidara; laughing as they all hit one by one. "Bring it bitch!"

"Consider it brought, un!" Deidara yelled, kicking two pillows towards Hidan; the albino dodging both before he flung three more pillows. Just before they reached Deidara, however, the blonde had a bit of realization. The pillows soon came to a stop, each surrounded by a film of yellow energy.

"Oh fuck."

The pillows and feathers flew around as the two fought out their frustrations. Itachi, for some unknown reason, decided to pop up in the center of the 'battlefield' and take a note in the book,

"'Pillow fights, as fun as they sound, are actually fierce competitions of stamina and skill.' Hm… I suppose this can be seen as fun – Oomph!" He grunted as two pillows hit his head at once. "Guys…" He began dizzily, "Maybe we should get to bed? Huh?"

"Fine!" The feuding bird and cat yelled.

* * *

><p>But sleep was the one thing that Itachi wouldn't get, because even as everything had been cleaned up and they were all in bed (Hidan and Deidara sharing Sasuke's bed), the weasel-demon was forced to hear the two fight in the form of whispers:<p>

"Keep your filthy paws on _your_ side of the bed, un."

"Are you-? I just cleaned them!"

"There could still be mud and cookie dough underneath your nails!"

"There's not! Look!"

"Ew~!"

There was a rustling of fabric; Deidara most likely took the blankets for himself.

"You selfish little-!"

Another rustling of fabric, followed by footsteps.

"I have to make the bed again so the corners match, un! Get up!"

A loud thud and a hiss signaled that Hidan had been shoved off the bed. After a bit more moving fabric, Hidan hissed out,

"Fine, just let me go to sleep damn it!"

"You'll ruin it!"

"Like I give a shit? Move!"

"Stop pushing me with those ghastly claws of yours! Have you never heard of a manicure, un?"

"Give me the fucking blanket!"

"No!"

"That's enough!" Itachi finally snapped, shooting out of bed and opening the book to a certain page, adding, "The main thing that I was supposed to do with this bet was have fun! But with you guys, I can't do that!"

"I've been trying to tolerate this finicky bird-brain _all night_, Itachi!" Hidan hissed in defense before Deidara chirped,

"Not as hard as _I've_ been trying to bear your rudeness, un!"

"You know what?" Itachi chuckled, his voice hollow in disbelief, "It's fine. Just… Try to be quiet until morning, if I can ask that much." The brunette cuddled back into his blankets before whispering, "I hope you two are happy."

"Great," Hidan rolled his ruby eyes, "Now he's pissed at us. Can anything _else_ go wrong?" A loud crack of thunder heralded a lightning bolt striking down against a tall tree standing next to the library.

"Thanks Hidan…" Deidara huffed.

* * *

><p>They all slowly walked to the bedroom window, gasping in horror as they saw that the upper half of the tree was about to crash down onto one of the houses in the area. "See!" Hidan yelled at Deidara, "<em>This<em> is why we had to shear all the trees in the area! Not make them pretty!" And before Deidara could say anything, Hidan had opened the window and made his scythe appear in his hand. "Have to aim this just right…" He whispered as he focused on the creaking tree.

But Deidara quickly saw that he was trying to cut down the tree to make a softer landing and screamed, "No, wait! Stop! DON"T!"

"No waiting!" Hidan gritted out, "No stopping! Just doing!" With that, Hidan threw his scythe; the weapon spinning around until it sliced through the bit of wood that was keeping the tree together. "There! Told you that action is better than-!"

Just then, said tree fell through the roof of Itachi's library.

"Oh! Oh no!" Deidara cried, desperately trying to protect his hair from the wind and rain, "I_ tried_ to tell you that the tree would fall down over here!"

"You should have tried harder then!" Hidan screamed, checking to see that Itachi was safe. But the weasel-demon slowly clawed his way out of the tree branches, looking a bit disoriented. "You okay?"

"…" Itachi looked around at the tree breaking through his roof before he took a deep breath and said, "No… No, it's not okay. There's a freaking tree crashing through my roof!"

"Itachi…"

"And the book says nothing about things like this!" The brunette yelled as he desperately skimmed through the book pages for an answer. "Or at least I haven't come across it yet…" Hidan shook his head and quickly crawled over to Deidara, the blonde trying to put all the books back on the shelves.

"The hell are you doing?" To which Deidara frowned,

"Cleaning up the mess that _somebody_ made, un! And who was that again? Oh yes, you!"

"I don't have time for this…" Hidan groaned before calling over to Itachi, "We have to get this thing out of here and fix the roof!" Itachi was still reading, muttering,

"Takoyaki… Treats… Tickling… There's nothing in here about trees!" Desperately holding in a yell, Hidan retrieved his scythe and tried to go to work. But the area of the tree that had fallen was so thick that his scythe was only leaving small dents in the bark.

"Fucking…" He turned to where Deidara was picking up books and small things, "Damn it Deidara! Stop worrying about small stuff and help me get rid of this!" Deidara ignored him, however, still trying to straighten up. "Get over here and help me, damn it!" After a while of not getting a response except for the rain pelting down on him and the howling wind, Hidan blinked before whispering to himself, "Damn it, Hidan, nineteen kids and you still haven't learned?" The cat-demon then sighed before stating, "Look, I'm sorry okay?"

"What was that?" Deidara shot up, trying to make sure that he wasn't hearing things. Yes, though Hidan wasn't really in the wrong (at least he thought) he knew that when dealing with someone younger, sometimes you just have to relent.

"I said I'm sorry!" Hidan yelled over the rain. "I should have listened to you when you saw that the tree would fall over here! Your annoying attention to detail would have saved us from this whole mess! But right now, you need to stop being fussy, let go of the little things, and help me get this _big_ problem out of the way!" Deidara was just about to pick up a piece of broken glass when Hidan gritted out, "_Please!_"

Blue eyes blinked before Deidara turned and was about to walk over to Hidan, but he noticed the water and leaves on the ground, whining, "But… I'll get all icky, un!"

"Yes…" Hidan frowned, "That's usually a side-effect of hard work. But you know what?" Deidara's bottom lip quivered as he looked at Hidan, "You can wash the ickyness off. Please… I need your help." After another moment of hesitation, Deidara smiled before calling out,

"Let's do this!"

"Well…" Itachi called out while the other two demons were hard at work behind him, "The book _does_ have a section on backyard slumber parties! Is that what we're doing now? Is this camping?"

After they had made up a plan, Hidan went back to work; cutting through the tree's smaller branches. Deidara then held up his hands, a yellow shine surrounding them for a minute before the majority of the tree was carved into small, bonsai-plants shaped as various flowers, birds, hearts, and butterflies.

Hidan was about to kick the remaining stump of the tree out the window, but after a stern look from Deidara, he simply picked it up and dropped it out the window. Then came the task of fixing the roof. Hidan quickly swept all the wood, glass, and brick together before Deidara used his chakra to rebuild the broken roof until the only sign that it had been broken in the first place was the fact that Deidara had moved the ceiling window to another place (feng-shui, un.).

"There we go!" Hidan laughed, closing the window to keep any more rain out. Deidara smiled in relief before he looked at himself, now covered in mud and branches.

"Ugh! I look awful, un…" Hidan frowned a bit before looking around and smiling before he picked up two cucumber slices and pressed them over the blonde's eyes.

"Better?" He asked, Deidara giggling,

"Yes," Before he blindly held out a hand; Hidan walking over for a hug.

"Well…" Itachi sighed, "I can't find a solution to…" He looked around, his voice trailing off as he saw that his roof had been fixed and the tree reduced to small tree-figurines. "Pretty… But," He skimmed through the book, "They're not in the book either."

* * *

><p>Seeing as how everyone was still burning with the adrenaline from the roof-incident, the three demons found themselves sitting in a circle on the ground; laughing raucously as they played a game of 20 Questions.<p>

"Is it…" Hidan hummed, "Bigger than a barn?"

"No." Itachi replied, Deidara guessing,

"Is it smaller than a pillow?"

"No. Three questions left guys." Itachi hummed, yawning a bit. Hidan groaned, laying on the ground,

"We're never going to guess what you're thinking of! It could be _anything_!"

"Are we getting warmer, un?" Deidara pleaded, Itachi blinking,

"Why? Is the heater too much? I can turn it down." Hidan and Deidara glanced at each other before laughing again, the albino explaining,

"He means are we getting any closer to the answer!" Itachi blinked before nodding,

"Oh…" But then he smirked, "No. And that technically counted as a question. Two more left." The cat and bird demons thought for a second before Hidan asked,

"Is it a pink and purple polka-dotted horse with six legs and stripes coming out of its ass?"

"Or maybe," Deidara began, stifling back laughs, "It goes around, traveling the world, to hide magic sparkly eggs?"

Itachi only blinked, sniffing the plate of cookies for anything weird that might have been added, before he shook his head, "No." He pointed to the telescope by the window, "It was that. But it was nice seeing you two struggle together for a bit."

"Yeah…" Deidara sighed, "We could have been enjoying this night all along if we weren't acting like such stupid bitches."

"Hey!" Hidan frowned, "I wanted to say that!" They all laughed again before Itachi opened the book to the checklist and stated,

"And with this, I have officially won me and Tobi's little wager," checking off the final box that read:

'But most of all, have fun!'

* * *

><p><strong>OMAKE <strong>

"Papa…" Kira asked Kakuzu as she walked into the kitchen where the stitch demon was drinking a cup of coffee to see if he could be awake when Hidan made it home. "You really should get to bed."

"In a bit, Kira-chan." He replied. Kira could only pout, the action looking nothing short of adorable, before she jumped into her father's lap and meowed,

"Bed! Now!" Kakuzu only blinked at the small child's force, Kira gulping before she whispered, "Please?" Kakuzu sighed, Kira reminded him of when Hidan was younger down to the t. Well, except for the politeness.

"Come on then." He yawned, picking Kira up, "Your mother will be back soon enough," and with that he turned the kitchen lights off and went to settle the small cat-demon into bed.

**OMAKE 2**

"Come on!" Sasori shouted to the demons that were in charge of customs and trading. Like Deidara had said, Sasori had taken a bit of a day-trip to go get some more fabrics and supplies for their store. But lo and behold, today was the day that the city where Sasori had gone to shop was having a check-point at the outer gates that day. "Gods!" The red-head gritted out as the security demons took their sweet time, "I should be home _sewing_ instead of this shit!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**( 1 ) In MLP: FiM, the way that the pony Rarity says this line has become sort of a meme… Not that the whole show hasn't. **

**Thanks for reading peoples! Please review! I have to get to work on next week's update and my new addition to the 'Akatsuki Horror Series' (If you didn't know, I just put one up a few days ago, you can look on my profile for it). **

**Actually, you know what? I **_**really**_** did not like this update! So you know what? You guys get a double update this week. I expect it to be read peoples! I know your accounts, I will PM people!**

**Just kidding! Love you all! **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	11. Braggart, Where Art Thou? Part 1

**A/N: So… Double-update for the win anybody? **

**This chapter, with the way that the episode for this update went, I just decided to make it a joke about the one element of fanfiction writing that can ruin a story: The Mary-Sue. **

**Oh boy… Let's begin. **

**Disclaimer- You guys read it already!**

* * *

><p>"Come on aniki…" Sasuke whispered, trying to cheer Itachi on. In the library, Itachi was currently practicing spells and jutsu with the help of his younger brother.<p>

"Okay…" Itachi nodded, putting his fingers in the proper position for a spell. He took a deep breath, a shimmer of red energy appearing around him. Sasuke stood perfectly still; holding out his chin in expectation before, in a flash, his chin was covered in an elegant stubble of a beard the same shade as his navy-blue hair.

"Hah!" Sasuke laughed out, rubbing his now rugged chin between his thumb and forefinger before he turned towards a chart and wrote down what Itachi had just done; filling out an already complex chart of abilities under Itachi's belt. "And that makes 135. 135 different things you can do with your powers, Itachi. And counting!"

"Sasuke cut it out…" Itachi shook his head, a blush of pride coming up. But Sasuke had just taken to looking at his new face in the mirror, nodding,

"Yeah… And I think that _this one_ is the best yet." Then he began to play out what he would say if he saw Naruto's reaction to his new beard, "_Hello_ Naruto. Oh, this? Just a little something I've been working on for a while." Itachi could only laugh before he announced,

"Sorry Sasuke, but it's just for practice and it has to go."

"Wait, no!" Sasuke called out but the beard had already disappeared in a red shimmer. "Damn it."

"135, Itachi!" Sasuke stated as the two brothers walked down the main street of Adamant Falls, "You're freaking amazing! I thought that most demons were only supposed to have a little magic and chakra for a certain skill they're good at."

"And that's usually true." Itachi explained, looking at the red chakra mark on his hand, "But Rokubi-sama once told me that that chakra and magic of certain demons is balanced enough to allow them to do all sorts of abilities."

"Well, I guess all that raw chakra is good for something." Sasuke smiled, glancing at his own blue-flame chakra mark, "You have talent in droves, aniki."

"Sasuke, stop." Itachi smiled, looking around, "I'm sure that other demons around have just as much magic as I do, if not more."

"Heh," Sasuke huffed, "I doubt tha— Oomph!" Out of nowhere, Sasuke was tackled down and carried away by a group of teen demons. "Itachi!"

"Sasuke!" The brunette gasped before trying to run after the crowd, asking, "What the hell are you guys doing?"

"Haven't you heard?" One of the demons announced as he convinced his friends to stop, "There's a new demon in town!"

"Yeah!" Another piped up, "They say she has more magic and power than any other demon around! Ever!" Itachi had to gulp at that, his ears drooping,

"Really?"

"Bull!" Sasuke interjected as he got his bearings straight, "No one around here has as much power or magic as Itachi." The young dragon though for a moment before he added, "Except maybe Kisame, but that's it!" But the news was already rattling Itachi's mind, so he asked the younger demons,

"Where is this new demon?"

"In the town square!" They all cheered before rushing off, "Come on!"

* * *

><p>In the center of Adamant Falls, right by the city building and the waterfall, a large wagon had been set up. It was decorated in periwinkle and sparkles in the forms of sheets, paneling, streamers, etc. Itachi and Sasuke had just made it when a high-pitched, whiny, cocky, irritating female voice <strong>(AN: Need some more description help? Let's see: take Mindy from the American show 'Totally Spies', Sissy from the French show 'Code Lyoko', Sailor Venus on a bad day, Princess Morebucks from 'The PowerPuff Girls' and fuse them all together. Yeah, you'll get what I'm talking about)** called out,

"Come one! Come all and bear witness to the amazing magic and wonder that is The Great and Powerful Mary-Sue!" After that, the wagon opened up into a large stage before there was an explosion of periwinkle smoke that, upon clearing, revealed a young demon girl with long periwinkle-shaded hair, lavender eyes, pointed ears, and a magic wand in her hand that matched the magic-wand chakra-mark on her hand. She was clad in a lavender cloak and matching hat, covered in sparkles and rhinestones; everyone ooh-ing at her appearance…

Except for those in the front row, i.e.: Zetsu, Tobi, Sasori, Deidara, Kakuzu, Hidan, Kisame, Itachi, Sasuke, and Naruto.

"Watch in awe," Mary-Sue began, waving her wand about, "As The Great and Powerful Mary-Sue performs feats of magic and skill never before witness by demon eyes!" As she ended her statement, she waved her wand which caused a serious of fireworks and whistles to go off around her, creating a pretty sight.

"My, my, my." Deidara huffed, rolling his eyes before Sasori added,

"Such arrogant boasting."

"Come _on_!" Sasuke laughed, "Nobody is as magically inclined as Itachi!" Just then, the dragon noted that Naruto was standing beside him. "I mean," He cleared his throat, "Well, what I meant to say is… Um… Is that food over there?" He quickly flew off in a desperate attempt to salvage his reputation. When he was gone, Itachi asked Kisame (after getting over his initial blushing),

"There's nothing wrong with having magic skills, is there?"

"Nothing at all." Kisame shook his head, Kakuzu adding,

"Except when someone starts showing it off like a school-girl with new ribbons in her hair."

"Just because someone has more talent than others," Zetsu began, "Doesn't mean that they're better than they are. At least, that's what I think…" Mary-Sue had just performed a trick that made a rosebush bloom on stage when she heard the demons talking. She sneered at them,

"Well, well, well. It seems we have some nay-sayers in the audience! Who is so _bold_ as to challenge the skill and magic of The Great and Powerful Mary-Sue? Do they not know that they are in the presence of the greatest demon in all the world?"

"Who do you think are?" Naruto shouted, "Blasphemy like that is an insult to the celestial beings!"

"Especially since you have one of their students here in the form of—" Sasuke's addition was cut off when Itachi covered his mouth and pleaded,

"Sasuke, please don't put me into this!"

"Mry Mm?" Sasuke mumbled, Itachi adding,

"Look at their reactions to Mary-Sue's magic skill. I don't want to be put in the spot-light like that and mess something up." After a while more of Mary-Sue's flashy antics, Kisame walked up and asked,

"So little girl, what makes you _so_ sure that you're better than the rest of us?" The young demoness laughed, an airy, tin-like sound, before she answered,

"Why, only The Great and Powerful Mary-Sue had magic strong enough to slay the dreaded Ursa Major!" She waved her wand, her fireworks going off and staying in the air in the shape of a giant bear. Everyone gasped and awed, but Kisame shook his head,

"No one can slay Ursa Majors, they're beings of the—"

"When all hope was lost," Mary-Sue shouted, drowning Kisame out to the point that he just said forget it, "The demons of Étoile called on my expertise to save the day! The Great and Powerful Mary-Sue used her excellent magics to defeat the foul beast and send it back to its cave in the Yonko Forests!" Everyone had mixed reactions to that, all of them knowing that the Yonko Forests were the strange areas that surrounded the mountain range; a spooky, uninhabitable place.

"Wow!" The young group of demons, who were quickly becoming part of Mary-Sue's fan-club awed before one of them announced,

"That settles it: Mary-Sue truly _is_ the most excellent, powerful, awesome demon in the world!"

"But what proof does he she have?" Kisame and Sasuke yelled, the dragon wanting to add something about Itachi's skills but a glare from the weasel-demon told him otherwise.

"Still doubt The Great and Powerful Mary-Sue?" The cocky demoness smirked, "Well then, I issue a challenge to all of you who live in Adamant Falls: _Anything_ you can do… _I_ can do better!" She laughed again before looking out into the audience, "Any takers? Anyone? Or am I truly destined to be the greatest girl who ever lived?" A roar of multi-colored flames enunciated her cries that time.

It was quiet for a moment before Sasuke pulled at Itachi's hand and groaned, "Come _on,_ aniki!" Itachi was trying more than his best to stay quiet until Mary-Sue pointed her wand at him, calling out,

"How about _you_? Is there anything a plain-Jane weasel-demon like you can do that _I_ can't? Hm?"

"That's it!" Hidan yelled, Kakuzu walking up with him, "I can't take any more of this shit!" Mary-Sue smiled, completely sure of herself as the two farm-working demons walked on stage. Kakuzu reached behind himself and retrieved his trusty rope before speaking,

"Can your _magic_ do this?" In an instant, he had turned it into a lasso, spinning the loop around himself, jumping through it, even splitting it into two different lassos; catching everyone's attention before he used one to grab a roast chicken and another to grab a loaf of bread and a hunk of cheese from a nearby table.

"Show 'em Kuzu!" Hidan laughed out before he used the stitch-demon's back as leverage to jump into the air, his scythe in hand, and slice the three items in a series of skilled slashes that resulted in…

A series of sandwiches raining down into the audience. Everyone cheered as the two bowed, Kakuzu smirking, "Top that little lady." Mary-Sue giggled,

"Oh ye of little talent," Her whole being began to glow in a periwinkle aura, "Watch as _my_ abilities shock and amaze!" The same glow surrounded Kakuzu's rope, the brunette not even having enough time to blink before the rope tied itself around Kakuzu and Hidan, two apples flying straight into their mouths.

The crowd clapped as the two struggled to make their way off stage, Mary-Sue smiling, "Once again, The Great and Powerful Mary-Sue prevails!" She glanced at Itachi again before calling out, "Does the pitifully weak weasel-demon wish to challenge me yet? Or is your magic-ability as lackluster as your pathetic appearance?" A loud crack sounded as Kisame walked up on stage, his anger causing him to step through the wooden platforms with a bit too much force.

"Kisame…" Itachi gulped as the shark-demon stood in front of the show-offy demoness, who had actually begun to shiver a bit.

"Shut your irritating mouth," Kisame said, his voice unnervingly calm as he stared Mary-Sue down, "Before I make it so that you would never be able to open it again." Mary-Sue gulped before holding up her wand and shouting,

"You wish to challenge me? You big brute!" Kisame shook his head before setting his sword on the ground and walking over to the side of the water-fall pool.

"Somehow," He smirked, "I doubt that you can swim." With that he jumped up into the air, coming down in the form of a shark that dived into the clear water. With speed and strength unmatched, he swam about and created three whirlpools in the small source of water before he swam to the base of the water-fall. He shifted back into his normal form before he laughed and began to, literally, run up the down-pouring waterfall.

"He's amazing." Itachi whispered just as Kisame got to the top of the waterfall. He looked down and seemed to make a quick calculation before he performed a simple hand-sign that caused a bridge of water to connect from the water-fall to Mary-Sue's stage. It was this bridge that he used to slide back down. He chuckled at Mary-Sue's jealous expression before he caused the water to take the form of a sitting chair and said,

"'Better to be quiet and let people _think_ that you're a fool," He took a seat, "Than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt'."

"And he's a reader too?" Itachi wondered aloud. Mary-Sue was quiet for a moment before she smiled and waved her wand. All at once, the chair lost its shape. "Wait, what the hell?" Kisame shouted as the water surrounded him, abruptly freezing solid.

Everyone gasped and gulped, Kakuzu and Naruto quickly rushing on-stage to see if they could get Kisame thawed out. "Anyone with a brain knows how to counteract water!" Mary-Sue huffed. But Naruto growled, his tails bristling,

"Oh yeah? Can you counteract-fire?" He then exhaled a rush of red and orange flames that took the form of two large foxes; each bounding their way towards Mary-Sue. But she shook her head and sighed,

"Simple and uninteresting.", before she waved her wand: the fire-foxes seeming to get confused before they changed course back to their creator.

"Naruto!" Sasuke shouted, running onto the stage and pushing the blonde out of harm's way. Kakuzu jumped away just in the nick of time, the two foxes crashing into the Kisame-sicle and thawing the bluenette out.

"I can't…" Kisame spoke dizzily, "Move my legs…", before collapsing to the floor. Sasuke, Naruto, and Kakuzu helped him off stage before Tobi gently nudged Zetsu towards the platform.

"And what are _you_ going to do?" Mary-Sue asked in a sneer. Zetsu only cleared his throat before opening his mouth and singing: the most beautiful notes falling from his lips, causing animals and birds all around to come towards the stage. But before the audience could cheer, and to not let herself be out-classed, Mary-Sue waved her wand; Zetsu's voice immediately changing into painful croaks and squawks that scared the small creatures away.

"Zetsu-san!" Tobi cried out, immediately helping the distressed plant-demon off of the stage.

"Don't worry," Mary-Sue laughed, "It should wear off in an hour!" The group of demons in the front all began angrily talking amongst themselves before Deidara spoke up,

"Enough is enough! Why are we wasting our time with this bratty girl, un?" Sasori agreed,

"You all need to just ignore the little pest! We all need to conduct ourselves with beauty, style, and grace!" Mary-Sue rolled her eyes before laughing,

"What's wrong? Scared you'll tear your gaudy outfit, red? Or afraid you'll get a hair out of place in that filthy snake's nest you call a hair-do, blondie?" Both the fashinistos stopped in their tracks, eyes wide at the insults, before they turned, Sasori called back,

"Oh! It…"

"Is…" Deidara added before Sasori went again,

"On…"

"Bitch!" They both ended as they both went on stage. The scorpion immediately began,

"You may think that power and magic are all that matter." He snapped fingers before a copper glow surrounded the curtains of Mary-Sue's stage and pulled them down; Sasori immediately going to work on the fabric.

"But a demon has to have style, un!" Deidara smiled, waving a finger to make a hair-styling kit appear. Everyone around watched the two demons work until they looked upon them with shock and surprise.

"Demons must have beauty!" Sasori announced as he stood, now clad in a violet tuxedo with gold trimmings.

"Demons _must_ have grace!" Deidara called out, his hair in a high pony-tail that curled down in a shower of high-lighted strands. Mary-Sue's expression was unreadable before her body glowed and she waved her wand. Sasuke was sure that the two fashionistos would settle this,

"Sasori and Deidara are far too prideful to let Mary-Sue get them down and –" There was the sound of an explosion before Sasuke stopped mid-sentence. Everyone gave horrified gasps as they saw Sasori and Deidara, the red-head screaming,

"SOMEBODY GET ME A MIRROR!"

"What did she do to my hair, un?" Deidara sobbed, "I know that she did something awful to my hair~!"

"Gods above, please don't let me be clashing!" Sasori shouted.

"It's fine." Itachi lied.

"You look great." Kakuzu coughed out.

"Never better!" Tobi nodded. But Sasuke's eye twitched as he said,

"I think I'm going to puke.", causing the group to glare at him.

Finally, Sasori calmed himself down enough to conjure up a full-body mirror; both demons gingerly looking into it. Sasori was speechless, all words gone from his body as he saw the purple and green suit-jacket and pink pants he was wearing. Tears streamed from Deidara's eyes as he looked at his hair: now dyed purple, sprinkled in old snake-skins, and shaped like a nest.

"Purple… hair..?" The blonde bird-demon whimpered, biting his lip before Deidara and Sasori looked at each other.

3.. 2.. 1..

"OH DEAR GODS!" They both bawled as they ran off the stage and through the crowds, desperately trying to get out of the public eye. "I look like a wretched excuse of a kabuki-dancer!" Sasori howled, Deidara sobbing,

"Purple hair! Such a hideous color for hair~!" Unfortunately, at that time, they had passed the snake-demon Orochimaru, who happened to be a kabuki professor, and a young demoness named Anko who actually had purple hair.

"Of all the rude…" Orochimaru hissed. Ano pulled down a lock of her purple hair before gritting out,

"Why, I never!"

"Well," Sasuke huffed, "We've all tried our hands at it. Itachi, let her have it!" When all attention turned towards him, Itachi gulped and began to cough,

"Oh, I'm nothing special – What's this? A sore throat? I should go home…" And with that, he disappeared in a red flash, causing Mary-Sue to laugh,

"Once again, The Great and Powerful Mary-Sue has been seen as the greatest of them all!" She giggled as she slowly walked off stage, smirking, "Like there was ever _any_ doubt." The spectacle done, everyone slowly dispersed from the area; except for Sasuke who could only shake his head in silence at Itachi's actions.

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><p><strong>AN: Everyone put down your torches and pitch-forks, Mary-Sue is meant to be an annoying bitch. Calm down and read on… **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	12. Braggart, Where Art Thou? Part 2

**A/N: Random notes… Random notes… Ah! Ladies and gentlemen… **

**Cheese. That is all. **

**I don't know, I don't like leaving this area blank, okay?**

* * *

><p>Later on that day, Mary-Sue sat in her wagon, using her magic to brush her hair as she gazed upon her reflection in the mirror. She was interrupted from her vain actions, however, when a smoothie was held in front of her face.<p>

"Here's the guava/wheat-grass smoothie you asked for!" One of her fan-club members stated, face in a blush as Mary-Sue took it with a superior huff. However, when she was done, the small group of teen demons was still there. "What~?" She whined.

"Tell us another story, oh Great and Powerful Mary-Sue!" The guys begged, the girl nodding,

"Yeah, like, tell us about how you slayed the Ursa Major!" Mary-Sue rolled her eyes before stating,

"Such feats of magic and adventure will have to wait until tomorrow morning! So away with you lot until then!" They all bowed before slowly walking away, announcing,

"As you wish, Great and Powerful Mary-Sue…" They walked with their heads bowed until they were well out of the demoness's sight. Suddenly, they bumped into something; a something that spoke,

"You all have no shame, do you?" The teen group turned and saw Sasuke standing there, a look of agitation on his face. The girl demon puffed out her lips, huffing,

"You're just _jealous_ because your brother's a wash-out and –"

"TAKE THAT BACK OR I'LL RIP YOUR FUCKING THROAT OUT!" Sasuke roared, shifting into dragon-form out of anger; fire and brimstone surging up around him. After he was sure that they were about to piss their pants out of fear, Sasuke shifted back and cleared his throat, "Sorry about that. But you all can't believe her little tales of slaying creatures."

"Why not?"

"Well, first of all," Sasuke began, "Were any of you guys there?"

"Well…" They all mumbled before shaking their heads. Sasuke nodded, beginning again,

"Look, unless an Ursa Major comes waltzing into town, no one can prove anything of the sort." And with that, Sasuke walked back to the library, not noticing the scheming smiles of the small group.

* * *

><p>"Itachi, what the hell?" Sasuke roared out as Itachi was badly trying to shut everything else in the world out by burying his face into a book. "You could have sent that annoying bitch packing! Why didn't you?" The weasel-demon only sighed back,<p>

"Sasuke, let it go. I'm not going to become a target of this town's hate by using my chakra and magic."

"They're two different – Gah!" Sasuke roared, "I'm going to check up on Naruto. I hope that you get over this slump of yours soon though." Sasuke shifted into dragon-form, flying off. When he was alone, Itachi fell into bed, sighing as self-disappointment filled him from the foot upward.

* * *

><p>When night had finally descended upon Adamant Falls, Mary-Sue's fan-club were shivering as they slowly walked through the eerie Yonko Forests. Sooner than naught, they found themselves in front of a massive cave. "Like, is this it?" The demon-girl asked, all of them gulping in unified fear as they walked in.<p>

Yet, they soon came to an area of the cave that was pitch-black. "How the heck are we supposed to find an Ursa Major when I can't even see my claws in front of my face?" One of the demon-boys asked.

"Like, hold on a sec." The girl's voice called out before there was a brief flicker of light. "Come on…" There were two more sparks before, finally, the demon-girl's hair started to glow, illuminating the cave.

"Much better." The others nodded before they looked around.

There was a loud rustling behind them, causing the group to turn. At first, they could only see a shining blue wall. But said wall moved until the face of a fierce, sparkling blue, gargantuan bear began growling at the small group; eyes red in anger and aggravation. A few seconds passed before the group of young demons screamed and ran out of the cave, the roaring Ursa Major rushing after them.

* * *

><p>"Damn it…" Sasuke sighed as he kicked a rock along the road. Naruto had been too busy helping out with Kisame's defrosting at the clinic, so the nurses didn't even let him in. But he was far too pissed to go back to the library, so he walked around Adamant Falls, hoping the cool air and ocean waves would do him some good. He was just about to give the poor rock another kick when a series of blurs passed by him, each turning out to be a member of Mary-Sue's fan-club. "Let me guess," Sasuke yelled out, "Mary-So-Useless needs a new comb?"<p>

"Can't talk now!" One of them yelled.

"Major problem!" Another added.

"Like, Ursa Major to be exact!" The girl concluded. Sasuke shook his head at their babble but was suddenly shaken from his feet as a roar shook through the area and up to the sky. He gulped as he looked behind him, his eyes going wide in disbelief as he saw the furious Ursa Major stomping towards the town. He didn't have to be told twice to run as fast as he could out of the way.

"Mary-Sue!" The fan-club screamed.

"Itachi!" Sasuke hollered.

* * *

><p>Trees and rocks on the outskirts of the town were being toppled over as the Ursa Major stalked towards the suburb. Finally, the desperate group of fans made it to Mary-Sue's wagon and began to frantically knock on the door and cry out, "Mary-Sue! You gotta help us! Mary-Sue! Please!" The wagon door slammed open, revealing Mary-Sue in her sparkly, periwinkle pajamas and looking none too happy.<p>

"I thought I said that The Great and Powerful Mary-Sue did _not_ want to be disturbed!"

"Heh heh," One of the boys gave a nervous chuckle, "We know but… We kind of have a little problem."

"Actually, it's totes a _big_ one." But Mary-Sue only gritted out,

"_What_ is so important that you couldn't wait until morning to disturb The Great and Powerful Mary-Sue?" She was going to yell at the young ones some more, but when the ground started to shake, she could only look ahead and see the massive body of the fearsome Ursa Major lumber into town; releasing another massive roar as it broke through the trees.

Mary-Sue nearly pissed herself in fear before she screamed and ran away. Her fans followed suit just before the Ursa Major's paw slammed down and crushed Mary-Sue's wagon.

* * *

><p>Itachi had just gotten dressed for bed, about to curl up with a book that was covered in stars, when Sasuke flew in, shut the door, and began screaming, "Aniki! You have to come! Quick!"<p>

"Sasuke, enough with the Mary-Sue issue!" Itachi snapped back, "I'm not going to go show her up!" The navy-bluenette groaned before shaking his head,

"It's not about _that_, it's—"

A loud roaring cut the young dragon off as it rippled through all the buildings, shaking their inhabitants to the core. Itachi cleared his throat before he spoke, voice a bit shaky, "_Please_ don't tell me that that's what I think it is." Sasuke could only nod,

"Majorly."

* * *

><p>Mary-Sue and her fans soon found themselves cornered between a wall and a wall of angry, sparkling blue fur; the Ursa Major's jaws drooling as it walked in for the kill. Mary-Sue's ankles were shaking with every movement the Ursa Major made, but her fans only cheered, "Great and Powerful Mary-Sue! You have to vanquish the Ursa Major!"<p>

"Like, yeah! Vanquish it so we can watch!"

"It took a lot of work to get that thing here, we'll have you know!"

"Wait, WHAT?" Mary-Sue screamed, "_YOU_ brought this here? Are you out of your freaking minds?" The young group nodded, one of them smiling,

"But _you've_ slayed one before! Just do what you did _then_ now!" Mary-Sue frowned as she slowly turned towards the beast. She gulped before she nodded,

"Okay… Stand back." She waved her wand, one of the surviving ropes from her wagon slithering over and wrapping itself around blue fur. "There!" She smiled, "Piece of cake!" The Ursa Major raised an eyebrow as it held up the two _fingers_ that had been tied up before he snapped the rope into pieces without so much as a sweat.

"Come on!" The fans called out, "Stop messing around and kill it!" Mary-Sue let out a pathetic whine before she waved her wand again, a swirl of dark rain clouds appearing…

In the shape of a tiny, pathetic whisp of a cloud.

"Like, that was a dud." The girl fan rolled her eyes.

"Yeah," The others began, "Where are the cool explosions and stuff from earlier?" Just then, the gods of bad-timing caused a bold of lightening to strike from the cloud whisp to the Ursa Major's back-side. It roared out in pain, swiping a heavy paw towards the group who quickly ducked out of the way and began running once more; the starry creature roaring again, this sound causing everyone to come out of their houses to see what was going on.

But when they saw the Ursa Major crashing through buildings and devouring roofs and such, they all screamed and ran for their lives.

* * *

><p>"Urm…" Inside the clinic, Kisame muttered as he woke up from his freeze-induced sleep due to all the commotion outside. However, when he heard the roars, he could only sigh, "An Ursa? Here?" He tried to stand up, but his balance was still a bit off. "Damn it… Naruto!"<p>

"Yeah?" The young fox-demon shot up as soon as he noticed Kisame was awake.

"Help me up. I need to make a trip to the beach and we have to go get Zetsu…"

* * *

><p>Itachi and Sasuke ran to the center of town, nearly getting trampled by the stampede of demons that were rushing the other way. Itachi quickly looked around before Sasuke pointed to where Mary-Sue's fan-club was standing, completely calm.<p>

"What in the name of the gods is going on here?" Itachi asked. One of the fans, completely proud of themselves, stated,

"We brought an Ursa to town!"

"You _WHAT?"_ Itachi screamed in sheer disbelief. But the fans shook it off,

"Like, don't worry! The Great and Powerful Mary-Sue will slay it!" Mary-Sue bit her lip as the statements were made. She didn't want to, but she had no choice but to quietly state,

"I can't…"

"WHAT?" The fans cried in horror, Sasuke whispering,

"Told you so…"

"I can't! I never have!" Mary-Sue whined, "No one can vanquish an Ursa Major! I… kind of made the whole thing up to get attention?"

"That's what you call being an attention-whore!" Sasuke shouted. Then, the Ursa Major stomped towards them, still growling, eyes still red. Everyone in the city was horrified, not known what they could do. "Aniki," Sasuke whispered, "Can you do something?"

"It's too angry…" Itachi answered, "I would have to have someone calm it down before I tried anything…" The Ursa was just about roar again when, suddenly,the air was filled with a sweet, relaxing sound, as if the ocean waves had been transformed into music. Everyone looked and saw Naruto driving a cart which held Kisame and Zetsu; the bluenette blowing into a sparkling blue conch-shell. As the giant starry bear slowly began to sway on its feet, Zetsu began to sing,

"_Great starry being… _

_At home in the skies… _

_I now plead you_

_To close your tired eyes…"_

The dulcet tones coming from the plant-demon combined with the sweet sounds of the starry conch-shell were almost causing the Ursa Major to fall asleep right then and there. Itachi quickly jumped into action; putting his fingers in proper spell position before his body was surrounded in a red glow.

On the other side of town, the local water-tower was slowly pulled off its hinges and all the water was poured out. Itachi gritted his teeth as he focused on carrying the large container through the barns of MallowHoof, milking enough cows to fill the container with fresh, warm milk. Then he managed to get it to float over to Goldleaf where a couple honeycombs were tossed in.

"That's new." Sasuke softly chuckled. The container was carefully carried towards the sleepy Ursa who was almost about to fall on Mary-Sue.

But, unfortunately, a glow of red energy surrounded the bear and lifted it up into air before any harm could befall the irritating demoness. When the Ursa Major was high enough, Itachi let the container of milk float into its paws; the bear immediately lapping up the sweet, warm milk.

Finally, after seeming to get a second wind, Itachi carefully had the great starry bear float across the sky, over the forest trees, and back into its quiet cave. After the deed was done, Itachi almost collapsed to the ground; Sasuke helping him stay standing.

"That'll do, aniki," Sasuke whispered, "That'll do."

There was an uproar of cheers as everyone came round to thank Itachi, from the weasel-demon's closest friends, to the now orange-haired Anko.

"Dear Jashin, Itachi!" Hidan yelled in amazement. Sasori agreeing,

"We knew you had ability, but not _that_ much!" But Itachi merely kept his head bowed, trying to see if he could remember an invisibility jutsu as he softly spoke,

"Kisame and Zetsu did all the work."

"Hardly!" Kisame called out as Naruto drove the cart over, "All _I_ did was get the music. You're the one who has the amazing skill, Itachi!"

"But I didn't want to show off like Mary-Sue did…" Itachi explained. However, Kakuzu explained,

"Oh, you're not a show-off, Itachi."

"Having talent is one thing," Zetsu explained, "But being annoying with it is another. At least, in my opinion…"

"We all have things that make us special, Itachi," Hidan smiled, "And those things are parts of who we are." Deidara laughing,

"You can't hide them, un! Show your fabulousness to the rest of the world!" Everyone in the town agreed before Sasuke had to ask,

"Aniki… Kisame… How did you guys know how to handle the Ursa Major?" Itachi smiled as he explained,

"That's what I was doing when you came to find me, Sasuke. I was kind of interested in Mary-Sue's bragging tales about Ursa Majors, so I was looking them up."

"And I'm a water-demon, kid," Kisame explained as Naruto helped him out of the cart, "I grew up learning about the beings of the sky: Leo, Scorpio, the Ursas Major and Minor, etc. Ursas can only be calmed down with the music of a Starry Conch-shell."

"So it _is_ possible to kill an Ursa Major?" Sasuke asked. Itachi was quiet, Kisame speaking up,

"I'll take this one, Itachi. First of all, like I was saying before _someone_," He glared at Mary-Sue, "Interrupted me earlier: you can't kill Ursas, they're beings of the sky. And also…" He kind of had to hold back a chuckle before Itachi decided to talk again,

"That _wasn't_ an Ursa Major. That was a baby Ursa: an Ursa Minor."

"_THAT_ was a _BABY_?" Mary-Sue shouted in incredulity. Kisame nodded,

"And the poor thing wasn't rampaging! It was _cranky_ because _someone_ decided to bother it while it was minding its own damn business!" The small fan-club all shared sheepish laughs, trying to blend into the crowd.

"Well then…" Sasuke began, "If _that_ was an Ursa Minor, then what's an Ursa Major like?" Kisame and Itachi both thought for a moment.

* * *

><p>Back in the cave, the Ursa Minor was being gently rocked in the vast arms of the starry purple-furred, titanic-sized Ursa Major; its fanged face calm as she rocked her baby to sleep.<p>

* * *

><p>"You don't want to know." Both demons deadpanned.<p>

"Well!" Mary-Sue smirked and strolled up to Kisame and Itachi, acting all uppity, "You may have beaten the Ursa _Minor_, but you will never have the amazing, show-stopping stage-presence of The Great and Powerful Mary-Sue!" There was a poof of periwinkle smoke and when it dissipated, everyone could see the show-offy demoness bolting away from the town as fast as her little legs could carry her.

"Maybe someday she'll learn her lesson…" Itachi sighed.

"As for you guys…" Kakuzu and Kisame called out as the group of teen demons tried to leave. They were about to talk about the reasons that they did what they did, but the stern looks from the adults surrounding them forced them to bow their heads.

"We deserve whatever punishment you give us." Itachi looked around and saw the mess that was once Mary-Sue's wagon.

"For starters, you can clean _that_ up. Then…" He smirked, asking Sasuke, "What do you think? Would a nice case of 133-135 be good?" The young demons were confused as Sasuke nodded,

"Oh yeah. In fact, let me get in on it too." When Sasuke had gotten in the vicinity of the young group, Itachi snapped his fingers, a red spark appearing which resulted in giving the young demons highlights and new cuts for their hair, and giving Sasuke his stubble beard back.

"Sweet." They all agreed.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Itachi was checking books out to a group of demons who had to fix the destruction that the Ursa Minor had caused when Sasuke came in, looking quite depressed in his stubble. Before Itachi could say anything, Sasuke gave a brief smile, "So, finally admit that you and Kisame are two of the most talented demons in town?" Itachi wanted to frown, but instead he smiled,<p>

"Yes. But it's nothing to brag about. So," He raised an eyebrow, "How did it go with Naruto?" Sasuke sighed as he sat down,

"He… wasn't too keen on the beard."

_Sasuke had caught up to Naruto, the young Kitsune picking some medicine up for Kisame. But one look at Sasuke's stubble beard caused him to burst into laughter, _

"_Oh my gods!" He laughed out, "What—What is that? What even is that?" Sasuke tried to redeem the situation, but when the blonde fell over in his laughing fit, he gave up and went home._

"You know Sasuke," Itachi sighed as he checked in a book that someone had turned in, "That beard has nothing to do with who you really are. Maybe you should just try being yourself." Sasuke took his brother's advice in for a second before he exclaimed,

"Or maybe the beard isn't good for me! Maybe a nice goatee!"

"Oh Sasuke…" Itachi sighed as he went back to work.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**Okie-dokie peoples, I've done my share (the writing, the randomness), now you have to do your part (the reading, the reviewing… the reviewing…) **

**I'm so random… I think it's because I'm actually uber-stressed right now. Ignore it. **

**Thanks for reading! I love hearing from you guys! **

**-Tyranno's girl. **


	13. Frigid Rumor Mill Part 1

**A/N: New chapter! Whoo! Let me ask a question guys. Who likes bromances? Anyone? Well, this chapter (based on another fav episode of mine) has elements of the bromance that I developed in my fic 'The Seme Uke Games', Kisame and Russia from Hetalia. So, let's go. **

**Thanks to: DancingPinkCows, FMJ26, Alexa Hiwatari, Zetsu's Rose, and anonymous reviewer twilight sparkle. **

**Disclaimer - Kishimoto owns Naruto, Hidekazu owns Hetalia, and Lauren Faust owns MLP: FiM.**

**Let's read!**

* * *

><p>"Wow," Itachi began as he and Sasuke were walking towards Adamant Fall square, "Such a wonderful day." Indeed, the blue skies were clear, the sun bright, and the clouds whispy, like white cotton candy.<p>

"Kisame and the other water-watchers must have gotten an early start today." Sasuke commented, happily letting the sunlight warm up his cool skin. "I bet that everyone is going to be out to enjoy the sunshine today." But when they got to the center of town, they noticed a distinct lack of activity.

"Where… is everyone?" Itachi asked, looking around at the empty town. As he looked, he saw various demons shutting their windows, locking their doors, closing their stores, and even whisking their children back to the safety of their homes.

"Is it some sort of holiday that I don't know about?" Sasuke asked as they kept walking. Itachi shook his head,

"None that I know of."

"Does my breath stink?" Sasuke asked, exhaling a rush of blue fire before smelling it. Itachi could only laugh,

"No more than usual, otouto."

"Hm…" Sasuke hummed, thinking of all the possibilities as they walked. Out of the blue, he guessed,

"Could it be zombies?" Itachi rolled his eyes in response,

"Not very likely."

"But come on aniki!" Sasuke persisted, "Only something as horrible as zombies could make everyone vanish like this. Well, zombies and…" He trailed off, his eyes going wide as he whispered, "Oh gods, its worse than I feared!"

"What?" Itachi asked, Sasuke's attitude slowly getting to him. But the dragon gulped and spoke,

"Zombie… Fan girls…"

"Oh for the love of-!"

"Psst!" The small noise cut Itachi's train of thought, causing both brothers to follow the direction of the sound until they arrived at the front of _Swirl_, Tobi's bakery. "Itachi!" Tobi whispered from the shadow behind the door, "Sasuke! Come here!"

"Tobi?" Itachi quirked an eyebrow at his cousin's actions (then again, when _didn't_ he?) and wanted to ask what the heck was going on. But Tobi whisper/screamed,

"Hurry! Before he _gets_ you!", prompting the other two to rush into the darkened bakery. Sasuke gulped before asking,

"Who? The zombie-fan girl?" There was a bright flash, Itachi wincing a bit as Tobi quickly turned on a flashlight. But he began to shiver,

"Z-z-zombie-fan girl?"

"Damn it Sasuke!" Itachi shoved his brother away and snapped, "There is no zombie-fan girl!" He caught his breath and then turned towards Tobi, "What are you doing in the dark by yourself?"

"Oh!" Tobi smiled, "Tobi's not by himself!" He turned the flashlight up a notch, allowing Itachi to see Kakuzu, Hidan, Kira (the small cat-demon looking a bit sniffly), Zetsu, Sasori, Deidara, and Naruto. Even though the scene was a bit strange, the first words out of Itachi's mouth were,

"Where's Kisame?"

"He had to pick up a package from Adamant Sea City." Naruto explained, shivering a bit out of the fear of the current situation. Sasuke quietly took the opportunity to move closer to Naruto… To calm the Kitsune down, of course.

"Okay then…" Itachi cleared his throat before he asked, "What are you _all_ doing in the dark?"

"As embarrassing as it is for me to admit this…" Kakuzu gulped as he slowly padded over to the window curtain, "We're hiding from _him_!" He opened the curtain up just a bit, everyone crowding around to look at the fearsome figure.

Out on the road, there was a cloaked figure that was picking at the ground with long, bloody, unkempt claw-nails. The cloak was old, worn, and seemed to be made out of a very thick fur; kind of out of season for this area. A soft breeze moved through the area, causing the unwound portion of a faded, pink scarf to flutter out of the cloak.

Everyone watched on in careful caution (Tobi, Deidara, Naruto, and Hidan shivering; Kakuzu, Sasuke, and Zetsu uneasy; Itachi trying to figure out what was so scary about this creature). Suddenly, as if they heard something, the cloaked figure turned towards the bakery window; deep, amethyst eyes peeking out of the cloak's darkness.

"Aah!" Everyone yelped, ducking out of the way; aside from Kira who just stood there and Itachi raising an eyebrow at everyone's antics.

* * *

><p>"Can someone explain to me what is going on here?" Itachi calmly asked his shivering friends. He blinked as Kira walked over to him and asked,<p>

"Did you see him Itachi? Did you see… Ivan?"

"Kira!" Hidan gave a harsh whisper, "I've told you _never_ to say that name!"

"Well," Itachi thought for a moment, "I saw him glance this way." Tobi jumped onto Itachi's back with a,

"Glance _evilly_ this way!" Itachi shoved the young joy-demon off of him before he added,

"And then I saw a bunch of you freak out for no good reason."

"No good reason?" Deidara repeated incredulously, Hidan pulling Kira close to himself and asking,

"You call protecting your loved ones 'no good reason'? Me and Kuzu were getting some cough medicine for my little girl here, but when Ivan showed up, she started shaking in her little, pink sandals!"

"I don't remember that – Eep!" The small cat-demon found herself snatched up by her father, the stitch-demon explaining,

"So we grabbed everything we had and brought her here!"

"But I walked here…" Kira mewed quietly. "And I'm pretty sure we would know if he was going to do something… Right?"

"Not when Ivan is concerned!" Kakuzu and Hidan both exclaimed.

"He's so mysterious…" Zetsu whispered.

"Sinister!" Naruto piped out, Tobi nodding,

"And _spooky_!"

"Okay…" Itachi rolled his eyes before looking out the window again, groaning when everyone rushed up beside him. After a while of his rummaging, Ivan stood and lowered the cloak from his face; revealing short, cream-colored hair that he briskly brushed through with his ragged nails, pale skin, a big nose, and as he stood at full-height, with broad muscles that could be seen even _with_ the cloak, one could see that he was a force to be reckoned with.

Everyone gasped again, Itachi gritting, "Would you guys cut that out?"

"Would you just look at those nails?" Sasori whispered in disgust, Deidara firmly agreeing,

"Manicures wouldn't kill a demon, un!" Itachi could only sigh before he began,

"Well, he probably doesn't give too much thought to those types of things seeing as how he's a Baba Yaga."

"A baba whata?" Everyone questioned at the same time. The weasel-demon shook his head before snapping his fingers, a book titled 'Magical Creatures of the World' appearing from his library in a red glimmer. He opened it to a certain page and held it so everyone could see as he explained,

"Baba _Yagas_ are creatures who live in snowy forest regions around the world. They're usually solitary creatures who live on a diet of freshly slaughtered animals and _humans_, whatever those are. And seeing as how he has to _catch_ his food most of the time, Sasori and Deidara, I doubt he could maintain a manicure." With a whimper, Deidara passed out in fear. "We can't change how people born in different areas act or look."

"Born _where_?" Kakuzu protested, "I've never seen a creature like that before. Except _him_."

"Like I said," Itachi began _again_, "Baba Yagas are usually found in snowy places. Which would kind of explain the cloak and the scarf. But ever since I moved to Adamant Falls, I haven't seen him around. Where does he live?"

"That's just it," Naruto whimpered, "He lives in the _Yonko Forests_!" As soon as the young blonde said those words, there was a sound akin to crashing thunder. But Itachi only called out,

"Sasuke!" When the dragon came out of the kitchen where he had caused an avalanche of pans and pots to fall, he was holding a cup of tea.

"Sorry, my fault!" Naruto laughed in a sheepish tone, "I might have muttered something about how some tea might help me relax from all this.

"The Yonko Forests aren't a natural place, Itachi. First of all, if you go in there, the chakra of the forest somehow makes it so all four seasons occur at once." Kakuzu shuddered at the mere mention of the dark region, "Then… The plants grow—" Zetsu interjected,

"The animals care for themselves—", then Naruto whimpered,

"And the weather changes," They all came together when they finished, "_All on their own!_" Just when Sasori thought that he got Deidara back into consciousness, the blonde gulped and passed out again. Tobi jumped up and began to talk at high speed,

"And that wicked enchanter Ivan lives there doing his evil – Um – Stuff! Oh, he's so evil, Tobi even made a song about him!"

"Oh dear Jashin, not again." Hidan hissed out just before Tobi began singing and dancing about,

"_He's an evil enchanter! _

_And a really bad dancer!_

_If you look in his eyes, _

_He'll put you in a trance-r!"_

At this point in time, both Kakuzu and Hidan were shivering to the point that Kira was desperately trying to pull away from their panicked grasps.

"_Then what will he do? _

_He'll mix up an evil brew! _

_Then he'll swallow you up _

_In a big tasty stew! _

_So… _

_Watch out!"_

Tobi ended the song on the table, his small chest heaving up and down as he tried to catch his breath from his little performance.

"Wow." Itachi commented, "Catchy."

"It's a work in progress." Tobi smiled, but Itachi shook his head before addressing everyone,

"This is all just a bunch of gossip, from what I've heard so far. What have you guys actually _seen_ Ivan do?" They all had to think about that. But Naruto set his tea-cup down and spoke up,

"Well, once a month, he comes into Adamant Falls."

"Oh my gosh!" Itachi gasped, his voice dripping in sarcasm. But then Sasori stated,

"Then, he _lurks_ by the stores."

"Oh my goodness!" Itachi did a dramatic pose right before Zetsu added,

"And then… He picks at the ground."

"The horror!" Itachi choked out but then he couldn't keep it up anymore, deadpanning, "Okay, seriously guys? None of this sounds like _anything_ that needs to be paid attention to. Maybe he comes to Adamant Falls to visit."

"Mm-hm!" Kira nodded, "Maybe he's trying to be a good neighbor?"

"Right," Itachi agreed, "And maybe he isn't _lurking_ by the stores, he's trying to _go_ to them?"

"Yes! Everyone likes shopping!" Kira smiled, "In fact, I think that—"

"Kira, quiet!" Kakuzu chastised his youngest daughter, "Grown-ups are talking." The small girl's ears drooped as she quietly walked away, whispering 'sorry'.

"What about picking at the ground?" Naruto asked, "You have to admit that that's a bit weird!"

"Maybe…" Zetsu gulped, "He's digging for innocent creatures."

"I'm sure…" Itachi tried to talk, but he had to raise his voice because Tobi had started singing again, "I'm sure that there's a reasonable explanation for everything Ivan does! And if anyone here were nice _and_ brave enough to talk to him, they would find that out!" Kira's ears twitched as she heard that and she whispered to herself,

"I don't know about brave enough, but I just might be nice enough…" And with that, she shifted into the form of a tiny, adorable white kitten and went to follow the strange creature as he finally decided to leave the beachside town.

* * *

><p>"You guys are acting ridiculous!" Itachi groaned as the suspicions increased. Tobi stopped his singing to bounce over and say,<p>

"Well _Tobi_ heard that Ivan drinks alcohol!"

…

"Tobi, _I_ drink!" Itachi snapped, "You drink! We all drink!" Tobi shook his head,

"Well, Tobi heard that it's the _evil_ way he drinks his alcohol!" While the comments had escalated into an argument, Hidan shivered (maternal instinct kicking in) and whipped around before he yowled out,

"WHERE'S KIRA?"

"Look!" Zetsu pointed towards the door, Deidara screaming,

"She went outside!"

"And Ivan's still out there!" Sasori gulped.

"She's going to get herself killed!" Kakuzu shouted before running after his daughter, Hidan following in quick pursuit. As everyone rushed out of the bakery, Itachi told Sasuke,

"Stay here in case Kira comes back!"

"Hey, wait a minute!" The younger Uchiha began to protest, but it was too late as Itachi had already left through the door.

* * *

><p>Ivan walked towards the entrance of the Yonko Forests, taking his time to look at the scenery before he walked into the darkened wood. Kira gulped before she mustered up as much courage as he little body could, and bounded in after the young Baba Yaga.<p>

She noticed many things as Ivan walked through the strange area. First of all, it had suddenly switched from Summer to Autumn when they walked in. Then, Ivan seemed to take a certain path that was clear of the purple, green, and gold plants that grew on the ground. Kira carefully followed him, trying not to do anything that would cause him to turn around –

"KIRA!" The small cat-demon yipped as she shifted back into normal-form out of sheer shock, whispering,

"Papa? Mama?" Sure enough, the group stood at the entrance to the area, kneed deep in those peculiar plants.

"Get back here this instant!" Hidan yelled. However, Ivan gasped as he looked at how close they were to the foliage and he called out in a deep, heavily accented voice,

"My friends, please to be going away from this place!" Kira yipped again as she was grabbed by her father and set upon his shoulders, the brunette yelling,

"Keep your freaky gibberish to yourself!" That seemed to set off a whole chain reaction of all the demons yelling, Tobi's incessant singing, and Itachi trying to hide his head in shame. After a while of enduring the noise and the insults, Ivan shook his head and stated,

"You have been warned, my friends…", before he disappeared in a whirl of icy wind.

"Right back at you!" Hidan yelled, bringing out his scythe, "You and your stupid curse are the ones who need to beware!" But after the cream-haired male was gone, "And _you_…" Kira flinched as her Mama's voice took a punishing tone, "We are going to have a long talk about your behavior when we get home, young lady."

"But! I-!"

"No buts!" Hidan yelled, "Jashin only knows what kind of curse Ivan could have just put on you?" Tobi nodded,

"Just like in Tobi's song!

_Evil Enchanter! _

_Horrible dancer! _

_The one with the trance-rs!"_

"Guys…" Itachi sighed, "There are no such thing as curses!"

"Huh…" Deidara huffed, stepping through the vibrant plants and right next to the weasel-demon, "This coming from a magic student?"

"Our magic and chakra, _real_ power," Itachi retorted, "Comes from within. Curses are fake, trivial magics made to instill fear among others. They have no real power unless you give them the time of day. All in all, they're about as real as most bedtime stories." By the time Itachi had finished his speech, though, everyone was walking through the plants to get home; Hidan staying behind to say,

"Just you wait, Itachi. You'll learn that _some_ bed-time stories really are meant to be heeded.", before he walked off.

* * *

><p>Later that night, Itachi was victim to a fretful sleep filled with the nonsensical singing of Tobi, Ivan's curse or warning, whatever it was, and Hidan's cautionary words:<p>

"_Just you wait, Itachi. You'll learn that some bed-time stories really are meant to be heeded."_

* * *

><p>So, when he woke up the next morning, it was no surprise that he was nothing short of exhausted; his hair messy and bags under his eyes. "Ugh… What a dream." He got out of bed and walked to his dresser mirror, immediately surprised by his unkempt image. "Oh wow! Maybe Ivan cursed my hair!" He laughed before he snapped his fingers, hoping for a brush to appear. He was obviously surprised when a bucket of water appeared in a cloud of purple, green, and gold bubbles before pouring out over him.<p>

"The hell?" He sputtered before trying to conjure up a towel and instead receiving a leaf-blower that nearly blew his head off. After five more failed attempts, Itachi was panicking. He tried to at least get a piece of paper but when a tree branch appeared in a cloud of those off-colored bubbles, he whispered, "Or maybe… he cursed my magic."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**God, I love Ivan as much as I love Kisame. I've cosplayed as both of them, you know. **

**Read on, please!**

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	14. Frigid Rumor Mill Part 2

**A/N: It's too hot in Southern California! And there are no jobs, why am I even here? Oh yeah, I'm so broke I can't afford to move! **

**It's just like the reason for the rioting in Egypt a while back! **

**Sorry, rant over. **

**Please read.**

* * *

><p>"No! No! No!" Itachi yelled as he slammed another book shut once it didn't give him the answer he wanted. "Why can't I find a cure?" He groaned as he paced around the room, "There has to be a reasonable answer to this! An illness? An allergy?"<p>

"A curse?" Sasuke offered as he stood at a distance, just for Itachi to frown,

"I said a _real_ reason Sasuke! Reality! Facts! Truth!" Sasuke sighed at Itachi's growing mania, but he picked up a book and asked,

"How about this?" But as soon as Itachi saw the word 'supernatural', he threw another useless book at Sasuke out of pure anger. "Damn! Aniki, I know you're scared but calm the fuck down!" The dragon roared out after he quickly ducked, "And how do you know that this isn't really—"

"Ma-purs!" A strange sound interrupted the dragon before he scratched his head and asked,

"A purse? How in the hell..?" But then he saw the source of the noise. Tobi had rushed into the library in a panic, but the joy-demon's tongue was swollen out of his mouth and covered in purple, green, and gold polka-dots.

"Tobi!" Itachi shouted, "What happened?" Tobi's eyes watered before he tried to speak,

"Pe's man menpantresch! Pe's man menpantresch!" But he only ended up splashing Sasuke in spit and slobber. Itachi blinked before he asked,

"What was that?" Then, there was a pained groan outside of the main door.

"He's trying – Fuck! – To say that – Come on!" Itachi, Sasuke, and Tobi quickly ran downstairs and when the weasel-demon looked outside the window, he saw Kisame struggling to push the door open. The same door that scarcely weighed anything, the usually strong shark-demon had trouble budging an inch. Tobi tugged the door open, Kisame tumbling to the floor before he gritted out,

"Apparently someone cursed you guys yesterday?"

Tobi and Sasuke nodded, but Itachi only asked,

"Yes, we had a little mishap. But why are you being affected? You weren't even with us that day, Naruto was!"

"Well I guess that I got it from contact because last night I came home, bench-pressed Naruto for thirty minutes, went to bed and then I woke up barely able to hold… myself… up!" The bluenette struggled for a bit before he managed to stand…

Then fall down again.

Itachi sighed, "Look, I don't know what's going on, but I don't think it's a curse."

"I'm afraid that we would have to disagree." Everyone looked over and gasped as they saw Sasori's whole body colored pink (with purple, gold, and green spots) and Deidara's blonde hair up in a polka-dotted afro.

"I hate to say I told you so, Itachi," A tiny-fied version of Kakuzu's voice yelled. Itachi looked and saw Kakuzu… Only he was much tinier, as tall as one's middle finger, and he was standing on Hidan's head as Kira stood, completely unharmed, between them, "But I told you so!"

"But this is impossible! Curses don't exist and besides, Hidan and Zetsu seem fine!" Kakuzu rolled his eyes before saying,

"Hidan, can you tell me what 2 x 2 is?" Immediately, Hidan began waving his arms and mouthing out what was surely a series of swears…

But noise came out.

"Well…" Itachi gulped, "Zetsu?" Zetsu only turned his head, averting his gaze. "Is there anything wrong?" Zetsu nodded. "Care to say anything?" Zetsu stayed still and was determined to stay that way until Kakuzu snapped in his tiny voice,

"Damn it Zetsu, speak up!" Zetsu shook his head until he opened his mouth and sighed,

"I don't want to talk about it…", in the squeakiest, girliest voice you had ever heard. Sasuke couldn't help it, he fell over and bust out into laughter,

"Oh dear gods, this is hilarious! Look at all of you! If only I had enough time to think up names for you guys and –"

"KISAME!" The familiar voice cut Sasuke off and everyone could only watch as Naruto burst into the library, tears in his cerulean eyes. "Kisame, please tell me you've found someone to help us!" When the young blonde saw that everyone still had their ailments, he literally fell to his knees and sobbed into the ground.

"Hey…" Sasuke walked over, "Calm down, it's just a little mishap, it'll be alr—" Sasuke's eyes widened as he saw the source of Naruto's misery. His two tails, the things he had been working tirelessly to earn, seemed to have every strand of hair shaved off of them. Sasuke could have sworn he saw red before he growled out,

"Aniki, get off your reality-rant and go get that bastard to fix this!" That triggered a series of arguments within the group, Kira only watching with tears forming in her eyes.

"This is all my fault…" She sniffled, her tears making her stuffy nose even worse, "If I hadn't followed Ivan, none of this would have happened…" She stood there in sadness for another minute before she told herself, "I have to take responsibility. I _have_ to fix this!" And with that, she slowly, quietly, began to walk out of the library. However, Kakuzu saw her and whispered,

"Now what is she up to?" Before he quickly ran and jumped into her hair. But back to the argument at hand…

"I don't care _what_ you say, Itachi!" Sasori yelled, his eyes hurting from looking at his pink-toned body, "We need to go and confront Ivan!" Suddenly, Kisame blinked and asked,

"Wait, did you say Ivan?" But he was ignored when the others agreed to Sasori's plan, Tobi slobbering out,

"Plet's plo disch!"

"I agree, un!" Deidara nodded, the blonde's afro moving along. Zetsu frowned and squeaked out,

"I don't know… Seems awful dangerous…" Although Sasuke was pissed off, he had to hold back a laugh from that but another glance at Naruto's teary face caused him to regain his anger and ask,

"What about you Kakuzu?" Silence. "Kakuzu?" They looked at the desk where Kakuzu had een standing to see that,

"He's gone!" Naruto exclaimed, Deidara squawking,

"Or somebody stepped on him!" They all quickly looked at the soles of their shoes, ignoring how Kisame was trying to say,

"Guys, about Ivan…"

"Or maybe they sat on him!" Itachi gulped, everyone looking at their bottoms to see if they could find the stitch-demon. But after a moment, Sasuke shouted,

"Quick, Deidara's hair!"

"What, un—oh!" The bird-demon didn't get a chance to ask before Tobi rushed up and began parting and searching through the afro, "Haven't you heard of personal space, Tobi?" When they were looking for Kakuzu, Hidan suddenly shivered as maternal instinct kicked in. He quickly looked around before his eyes went wide and he tried to yell that Kira was gone. But since he had lost his voice, he had no choice but to run over and get Itachi's attention.

"Hidan?" The brunette asked, "Is everything okay?" Hidan shook his head, waving his arms in a panic.

"Scharadesch!" Tobi sputtered out and Itachi nodded before Hidan rolled his eyes and began acting out what he was trying to convey: first, he took a book and a pen before he pretended to write in it. Then he held his hands together as if in prayer.

"They write names in a book…" Itachi guessed, "And they think they're God… Oh! Kira!" **( 1 ) **Hidan nodded and everyone looked around and noticed that the young girl was missing as well.

"They probably went after Ivan!" Deidara stated, Itachi nodding,

"We have to go after them! Everyone, let's go!" And with a gropu consensus, they all rushed out of the door. Well, except for Kisame who shouted,

"Wait! Shit…", before he tried to follow them but was met with his old nemesis: the door. "Oh, fuck my life!"

* * *

><p>Kira tirelessly ran back to the Yonko Forests, only slowing down when her breathing got too ragged. She had just passed the entrance when a tiny voice yelled, "Stop right there!" She did stop, only to look around for the source of the noise. She twitched when she felt something moving about in her hair but before she tried to scratch it out, Kakuzu popped out and shouted, "Turn around this instant, Kira!" Kira bit her lip, not wanting to ignore her Papa, but her Mama always taught her to take responsibility for her actions so she shook her head. "What do you mean 'no'?" Kakuzu shouted in disbelief before he found himself gently picked up and placed on a tree branch.<p>

"Sorry Papa, but I just can't follow your rules right now." And with that, she shifted into kitten form and was running further into the dark forests.

"Kira Shiroi-Hoku, you get back here right now!" Kakuzu roared (though it didn't really sound all that intimidating, "I'm going to tell your great-grandmother about this!" After that last outburst, he looked around and didn't see any way to get down. "Oh, damn it!"

* * *

><p>"Come on!" Itachi called out as the group rushed into Yonko Forests, "We have to find Ivan's house immediately!" They all ran as fast as they could, Deidara tripping as his afro kept obscuring his vision.<p>

"Oh!" He yelped when he face-planted into a pile of dirty autumn leaves, "Easier said than done, un!" He shouted before he got to his feet and started running again. Sasuke was in dragon-form, flying above the rest of the group and carrying Naruto on his back. They soon passed the Autumn section of the Forest and found themselves in the Spring section. However, all the out-of-season pollen that was being released here caused Sasuke to get into a sneezing fit, the young dragon sneezing out flames and ash before he finally crashed into a tree.

"Ow…" Naruto groaned. Sasuke would have returned the sentiment, but it seemed that his mouth was full… His left eye twitched before Kakuzu popped out of his mouth and said,

"Thanks for the rescue! But now I have to get to Ivan's immediately!" The dragon and the fox-demon would only watch as the tiny stitch-demon quickly fastened what looked like a horse-bit and reign out of sticks and vines. He then stuck the bit into Sasuke's mouth and hopped onto his back, calling out, "Get along, scaly!"

"_Excuse_ me?" Sasuke growled out. But Kakuzu merely took out his rope, tied it into a whip and gave Sasuke's neck a lashing. "Ow! What the fuck? Okay, ow, I'm going, I'm going!"

* * *

><p>After passing through the sweltering heat of the Summer part of the forest, the gropu of demons made it to the freezing cold Winter section. And after a few, shivering minutes of walking, they found what they were looking for…<p>

But not at all expecting.

In the center of a yard covered is statues and furniture pieces made of ice and crystal, there stood a huge, regal mansion entirely composed of white material; it was nearly impossible to see where the snow and ice ended and the mansion began. When Deidara made it to snowbank that the others were hiding behind, he whined,

"I look awful, un!" Sasori shook his pink head and held the afro out of Deidara's eyes, whispering,

"This _place_ is awful." Deidara blinked as he saw the icy skull-topped signposts that held soft flames to light the way to the front door.

"Oh my! This place _is_ awful!" They quietly padded over to the kitchen window and peeked in, Sasori gulping,

"Nice décor…" As he saw the ancient-looking furniture, the dusty curtains, the strange bottles and containers on the counters, and the peculiar collection of wooden dolls on the shelves, "If you like creepy!" Just then, the door to the kitchen opened, revealing Ivan sans the cloak but dressed in a turtle-neck sweater and thick, coarse pants as he walked into the room and stopped at the stove where he had a large, heavy pot boiling away. He grabbed one of the bottles and poured a cloudy substance into the pot; the mixture bubbled away, a strange, maroon-shaded substance.

He then picked up one of the wooden dolls, his hand bearing a snow-flake magic-mark, but Itachi gasped as he saw that the doll had a striking resemblance to Kisame. But rather than put the doll in the brew, he opened its mouth, placed a nut inside, and pressed the doll's jaw together: snapping the nut in half before he dropped it in. He repeated the process, all the while singing a strange song in a different language. But Tobi had heard enough to try and scream,

"Pe ssthol my scholng! Sthit's my scholng!"

"He stole your soul?" Sasori guessed but Itachi shook his head,

"Tobi, it sounds nothing like you song!" Tobi frowned and looked around before his eyes landed on Zetsu. He fell to the plant-demon's feet and looked up at him, wide eyes pleading. Zetsu sighed before he began, completely not into it,

"_He's an evil enchanter, _

_And a really bad dancer._

_If you look in his eyes, _

_He'll put you in a trance-r."_ While he was 'singing', Tobi was dancing out every step,

"_Then what will he do? _

_He'll mix up an evil brew. _

_Then he'll swallow you up _

_In a big tasty stew. _

_So… _

_Watch out."_

When they were done, Deidara asked, "You saw all those horrible things, Itachi! Now do you believe us?" Itachi frowned, but even _he_ had to look at all the facts.

"Weird dolls… Confusing incantations… A great big boiling cauldron? Everything is pointing to Ivan being evil." Everyone was giving Itachi a 'told you so' look, but then the weasel-demon thought, "Or… He could be making soup!" Inside, Ivan took a spoonful of the mix and tasted it, licking his lips before he commented,

"The perfect consistency for young demons, da? Now," He turned, "Kira? Where are you~?" Everyone gasped in horror, Itachi gulping,

"Or maybe he's making cat-demon soup!"

* * *

><p>Everyone looked at each other before they all screamed, Hidan finally deciding to storm into the kitchen and save his daughter. But before he could, there was a pained growl from above.<p>

Kakuzu was still forcing Sasuke through the air, and when he saw the mansion, he called out, "I'm coming Kira!", before whipping Sasuke so that the dragon rushed into the kitchen, crashing into the table.

"What is this?" Ivan called out as Sasuke desperately thrashed around, having enough of Kakuzu's treatment, "Stop!" The dragon's tail whipped out and managed to crack the cabinets open, sending various dishes crashing to the floor, "Enough! Enough, get out!" The door cracked open again, Itachi, Sasori, Deidara, and Hidan storming in; Itachi calling out,

"What have you done to Kira?" But Ivan was hardly in the mood to ask questions, if the swirl of icy-wind and the dark aura forming around him were anything to go by.

"Stop this madness at once!" He yelled out, but Sasuke was in such a rage that Naruto had jumped off of his back for safety when the dragon crashed into Ivan's stove, the pot falling to the floor. "Nyet!" Ivan cried, falling to the floor, "You know not what you've done!"

After a little bit more of Sasuke's thrashing, Kakuzu jumped off and landed behind one of Ivan's pointed ears; trying to subdue the large Baba Yaga.

"The ruse is up Ivan," Itachi narrowed his eyes, "I didn't want to believe that you cursed us, but the evidence is over-whelming!"

"You made us look ridiculous!" Sasori and Deidara shouted. Zetsu squeaked,

"You made me _sound_ ridiculous!"

"Pu maid pe speek wedicupous!" Tobi slobbered out. Itachi added,

"You ruined my magic and chakra!" The room was silent for a moment. But then Ivan stood, icy wind whipping around him to the point that Kakuzu was flung away back to the group.

"How _dare_ you?" Ivan growled, "Such insolence you all are having to come here, ruin my kitchen, my heirlooms, my precious keepsakes, my work… And _then_ you accuse me of commiting some unknown crime?"

"Because _you're_ the one who put this curse on us!" Naruto shouted, "Now, undo it!"

"Making commands of me…" Ivan whispered, his amethyst eyes glowing as his anger increased, "Is _not_ being the wisest of decisions, my friends." Hidan shook his head and stomped forward, despite the growing winds.

"Where is Kira?" Itachi seethed out as Ivan and Hidan glared at each other. Just when the growing storm was going to break out, a soft voice called out,

"Mr. Ivan! I think that I found everything you needed!" It was Kira, the small girl carrying a basket of herbs, eggs, and berries. Her wide eyes looked around the ruined kitchen before she asked, "What happened?"

"Kira!" Kakuzu called out, Hidan rushing over and taking the girl into his arms, "You're okay!"

"Mm!" Kira mewled out before she asked, "Why wouldn't I be?" Itachi stood between the two albinos and Ivan before he explained,

"Because Ivan is an evil enchanter who cursed us all and is going to cook you into soup!" Kira blinked, Ivan did as well, before both of them burst into laughter; Ivan's dark aura and ice-cold wind disappearing from the humor of the situation.

"Itachi…" Kira smiled as she wiggled out of her Mama's grasp, "Did all those suspicions finally get to you? You should know that curses don't exist!"

"Kira-chan," Itachi shook his head, "You honestly can't stand there and tell me that _this_," He waved an arm towards everyone, "Isn't a curse!"

"It's not a curse!" That call came from outside. Ivan nodded to himself, murmuring,

"I was wondering when he would be showing up." He went to the kitchen door that led outside and opened it. There was Kisame, leaning against the door in an exhausted heap, "Kisame, my good friend! Come inside out of the cold!"

To say that everyone was confused would have been an understatement. Itachi looked from Kisame, to Ivan, to Kira, before asking,

"What the hell is going on here?"

"If I could be explaining that," Ivan cleared his throat, "If you remember yesterday when I warned you all to move away from that place, it was not a threat or a curse."

"It was a warning." Kira spoke up, "About those purple, gold, and green plants. They're called Autumn Fools."

"Yes," Ivan nodded, "They are not being hostile plants, but if you ever touch them, they will take every opportunity to make a joke out of you." Kakuzu crawled on top of the counter and yelled,

"Could someone explain this to me in a way that makes sense?" Itachi gulped before he began,

"I think what they're saying is… When we ran into the Forests to save Kira, we ran into the Autumn Fools. All our problems are just little jokes they played on us."

"Ha ha," Deidara frowned, "They're so funny I forgot to laugh."

"But…" Naruto bit his lip, "What about the cauldron?"

"And the chanting?" Zetsu asked.

"And the creepy decoartions?" Sasori asked as well. Ivan shook his head before explaining,

"The skull-lanterns are something my father used to teach me. To keep evil forces away. And the dolls are treasure that me and my sisters used to make when we were younger. I keep the wooden ones out here because they are more durable than the porcelain ones my sisters made me. Also, I am always making new ones: like my Kisame nut-cracker!" He held up the wooden figurine, Kisame smiling,

"You finished it!"

"That I did, comrade." Ivan said, handing the figure to Kisame, just for the shark-demon to fall over from its light weight. "And the chanting, as you call it, was just a folk song from my homeland." Oh, everyone was starting to feel pretty bad about their paranoia. But Sasuke had to ask,

"What about the cauldron? The Kira-chan soup?" Kira shook her head,

"That pot wasn't for me! It was for all the special ingredients that Ivan needed my help to gather. He's really good at herbal remedies!"

"Hey, I was growing up poor!" Ivan smiled, "You have to use what you have, da?" Itachi looked around and saw a book that seemed to have a recipe for the cure to Autumn Fools.

"But I looked all over for a cure! What book is this?" Ivan picked it up and handed it to the weasel-demon,

"Here is the book you were seeking. A shame it is not being in your library, da?" Itachi read the cover and flinched when he saw that it was the exact same book that Sasuke had tried to show him earlier.

"And how many apologies is aniki going to owe me after this?" Sasuke huffed as she shifted out of dragon form. Itachi wasn't in the mood to reply to him, instead explaining,

"Actually, I do know this book. But I didn't take it seriously because the title sounded iffy." He sighed and looked to Kisame, "And you were trying to tell us about Ivan when we all rushed out of the library, weren't you?"

"Yep," Kisame nodded as Ivan helped him up, "This big snow bear would never hurt a fly! A deer or a boar, maybe, but not any other demon! I should know," He smirked, "I helped him move out here."

Questions… So many questions that needed to be answered, but now wasn't the time.

"Ivan…" Itachi whispered, "I'm so, _so_ sorry. If only I had paid attention and read between the lines of this situation." But Ivan chuckled and said,

"It is fine. The mess is easy enough to clean up."

"Would you be willing to mix up another batch of medicine?" Kisame asked.

"But of course, my friends!" Ivan laughed, yet he soon remembered, "But I would need to buy more of the ingredients from Adamant Falls…"

"And whenever Ivan comes to town," Kira explained, "All the stores are _mysteriously_ closed."

"Oh." Everyone turned red and sheepish at that, Itachi nodding, "Let's see what we can do about that."

* * *

><p>Later that afternoon, after they had helped Ivan clean up the mess they had made in the kitchen, they all walked into Adamant Falls. But no sooner had they arrived, demons started shouting, "The evil enchanter and his cursed minions!"<p>

"It's too horrible!" Another shouted as they all ran into their homes and stores, locking everything up tight. Itachi calmly walked up to the Florist's and knocked on the door, stating when the door opened a crack,

"Ino. We need to talk," The flower-demoness shivering at the door.

* * *

><p>Adamant Falls was also home to a very nice spa center, so the group kindly commandeered their Jacuzzi-tubs in order to disperse the treatment. Naruto, Deidara, Sasori, Hidan, Zetsu, and Itachi were already relaxing in the warm, soothing waters: Ivan's remedy already removing their ailments if Itachi's effortless summoning of a towel was anything to go by. They all looked up when a happy laugh sounded above them, Tobi jumping into the tub with a large splash. When the waters settled, he looked at his mouth and saw that his tongue was back to normal, laughing in relief. Ivan was busy helping Kisame into the water, but as soon as the bluenette was in he gave an energized holler as he felt his strength returning.<p>

Kira's little cold was even cured by the mix, the small demon adding more berries into the tub.

"Oh Mr. Ivan?" One of the spa-workers asked as she walked over to see if everyone was okay, "If you could be so kind as to teach me this recipe for this bath? It's simply luxurious!" Ivan smiled, about to happily agree when Hidan yelled,

"Where's Kakuzu?" They all screamed as they desperately tried to get out of the water, but a deep chuckle of,

"I'm right here.", led them to see the stitch-demon sitting with his backside stuck in a bucket. "Did you guys really have to sit me in this thing?"

"Sorry Kakuzu," Sasori smiled, happily watching his off-coloring wash away, "I can't quite hear you over this divine bath!"

"Oh my gosh!" Tobi shouted as he broke through the water's surface, "Tobi never realized how horrible it was not to talk! I mean, Tobi _loves_ talking so much!" Everyone slowly began to groan, Sasori shoving to cotton balls into his ears, "So when I was trying to talk and Tobi's tongue was all 'bleh' it was the absolute worst! Right Zetsu-san?" Everyone turned their attention to the quiet plant-demon who simply replied,

"Yes." In his calm, normal voice.

* * *

><p><strong>OMAKE<strong>

"To Ivan, the newest member of our little group here!" Kisame called out as they all sat around their own table in Adamant Falls's bar, _Current_. After the Autumn Fools afflictions had been cured (and after Kira had been sent to bed after such an eventful day), Kisame suggested that they all go out and celebrate. They soon found out a lot of things about their cream-haired friend.

They found out that he could really knock back the booze, if the five empty vodka bottles were any indication…

"Oh my gods…" Itachi raised a thin eyebrow as Ivan drank from his sixth bottle of vodka. "How do you do it?" Ivan only chuckled, saying,

"This is normal where I come from! Vodka is sometimes drunken more often than water, due to the freezing weather." And with that he went back to his drink, Kisame laughing as he ordered a sixth bottle of sake,

"Isn't he awesome?"

They found out why Ivan had left his homeland in the first place… _Both_ reasons.

"I was moving out here to find work this Winter." He explained, "Baba Yagas _are_ creatures of ice and snow, after all." To prove his point, he held up a finger and spun it around, three perfect snow-flakes forming in the air.

"Wow, so pretty un!" Deidara gasped around his wine-cooler. Kisame smiled before wrapping an arm around Ivan's shoulder and egging on,

"Tell them the _other_ reason, Ivan." Ivan blushed a bit before admitting,

"And… I have just gotten married. So I wanted to set up a household before I brought my new bride home."

"Congratulations!" Hidan laughed out, drunk already, "That's a reason to celebrate! Cheers to the newlyweds Ivan and… What's your bride's name?" Ivan chuckled again before answering,

"Alfred."

* * *

><p><strong>OMAKE 2<strong>

Naruto decided to get an early leave home so he could set up Kisame's schedule for tomorrow, and _this_ time, Sasuke decided that he had done enough wussing out. "I'll walk you home." He offered, following the blonde Kitsune out the door.

"Oh, thank you." Naruto smiled, a dazzling motion that almost made Sasuke chicken out on his decision. But as they started walking through the cool, ocean evening, they both found the quiet walk quite… Enjoyable.

"You know…" Naruto began as the concrete sidewalk slowy turned into the sandy beach, "I still feel kind of bad about how we treated Ivan."

"Well…" Sasuke began, looking for a way to cheer the blonde up, "It was a bit of a witch-hunt… Literally, but the point is that everyone's calmed down, the ailments are gone, and you've never looked better." Naruto blinked, a bit of a blush growing on his face and his two fluffy tails moving behind him,

"You think so?"

"Yeah, of course!" Sasuke nodded, hoping that he wasn't making a fool of himself. And when Naruto smiled, he felt that he was in the clear. The blonde Kitsune walked on in silence for a while more before he stated,

"Maybe the gods had me experience today so I could learn a lesson." He looked up at the sky, Tsukuyomi's moon gently drifting across the ink-shaded sky, "To learn that we should never judge books by their covers?"

"Hn." Sasuke looked up at the night sky as well, the scene relaxing. Suddenly, Naruto yelped and fell to the ground.

"Naruto?" Sasuke shouted, "Are you okay?"

"It hurts…" The blonde whimpered.

"Hold on!" Sasuke gulped, "I'll go get help and—"

"No!" Naruto shouted, "Stay here! Please?" The dragon was in a bit of a hard place, he wanted to get help but Naruto seemed to need him there… He sat down next to the Kitsune, gasping when Naruto grabbed onto him and whimpered more before he actually started glowing a bit.

But just as the weird spectacle had started, it stopped; Naruto panting before he turned and gasped. "What is it?" Sasuke asked in a worried panic. But the blonde jumped up and turned around, showing off his brand new third tail.

"I can't believe it!" He shouted in joy as he rubbed the smooth, fluffy fur, "Now I'm just six tails away…" He blinked before turning back towards Sasuke and giving a nervous chuckle, "Heh heh, sorry about worrying you. This is what happens whenever I get a new tail…"

"I see…" The dragon raised an eyebrow at the fox's almost instant recovery. He did, however, try to say something when he saw Naruto going towards the ocean water, "Hey, wait a minute!"

"Sorry Sasuke!" Naruto called back, making sure he had a stone that looked like a deep, blue sapphire in his pocket, "I have to get back to Kisame's so I can write a letter! See you!" And at that, he jumped into the water; swimming deep into the warm waters.

"Fuck my life…" Sasuke sighed, deciding to go back to the library.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**( 1 ) This was a very badly written Death Note joke. I'm sorry.**

**Hm… What to say… Okay, so this is another one of my fav episodes. I know I said that I have two, but upon closer examination it's more like four. Heh… Thanks for reading! Please Review!**

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	15. Zetsu, DragonSlayer Part 1

**A/N: Not having internet... Sucks ass. But you all already knew that, huh? **

**Thanks for all my readers and reviewers: FMJ26, Alexa Hiwatari, and Zetsu's Rose (in regards to your PM, I am planning on doing all of season one, but in chronological order. So that episode will come up in a bit.)**

**Disclaimer: You should already know... **

**Let's read.**

* * *

><p>Deep in the heavily treed parts of Adamant Falls, not the Yonko Forests, before that, was a small cottage hewn out the trunk of a massive oak tree. There was a small demon-made brook that ran by the cottage, where currently plant-demon Zetsu was wading through with a few fish in his hands. He moved until he made it to a small burrow that held a new family of otters before he tossed them the fish.<p>

Later, he climbed up a tree in order to get at a nest of robins; a look of disgust on his face. When he got there, he quickly spat up the worms that he had been pre-chewing for the babies; scratching at his tongue to try and get rid of the taste.

Finally, he went inside the small gated area that held his chicken coop and the small house he had made for his pet rabbit Himawari, the white creature nibbling away on a carrot. "Not too fast Himawari," Zetsu warned, a soft smile on his face, "You don't want to get a tummy-ache." But Himawari simply huffed before tossing the remainder of the carrot on the ground and hopping away. "It's not play-time yet, come finish your breakfast." He had no choice but to take the carrot and rush after the small rabbit. When he caught up to it, he nodded, "I know you want to run and hop, but just three more bites?"

Himawari shook her head.

"Two more bites?"

The rabbit shook her head again.

"One more bite?" Zetsu pleaded, sliding the carrot over to her, just for the rabbit to kick it away and bound off, leaving Zetsu to sigh. That is, before he heard Himawari coughing. "Oh, what is it?" The rabbit was looking up at the sky and covering up her mouth and nose, still coughing, "Did you eat too fast?"

Himawari coughed more.

"Are you catching a cold?"

Himawari coughed again, narrowing her eyes at her owner's obliviousness.

"Do you need a glass of water?" Even if she was a rabbit, Himawari felt like growling at her owner's obliviousness. But there was a cry of,

"Daddy!" That made Zetsu look towards his cottage and see a small girl with green-tinted skin, viridian hair decorated with wildflower-buds, and shiny orange eyes.

"Musical flower?" Zetsu stood, calling over to his and Tobi's daughter Ongakuhana, "What is it?"

"Look up at the sky!" Ongakuhana called back, pointing up. Zetsu followed the direction and gasped as he saw a creeping dark shadow blotting out the sky.

"Oh my… Himawari, were you coughing because of the huge, cloud of toxic black smoke heading towards town?" As he was looking at the spiraling, dark mass, Himawari shook her head before kicking the carrot into his head. "Oh…" Zetsu chuckled, "I'll take that as a yes."

* * *

><p>Now, Zetsu was a kind demon.<p>

Zetsu was a hard-working demon.

Zetsu was a patient demon.

But, unfortunately, Zetsu was not a _loud_ demon. So when he ran into town, he was barely able to speak out, "Help. Please? Somebody?" But everyone went about their own business as if he wasn't even there. "Please, there's a giant cloud of dark smoke heading this way and – Ah!" He yelped as Kisame and Tobi passed by, the shark-demon busy juggling cup-cakes and candy apples that Tobi kept tossing to him.

"Zetsu quit acting so _white_ already!" **(A/N: Kisame isn't being racist here, don't worry! He's going by personalities that the colors represent: white being quiet and calm, black being angry and rough)** Kisame huffed as he juggled the treats, "It's just me and Tobi about to break the local juggling record." Tobi laughed as he tossed the last few items he had in his hands,

"This calls for a celebration!"

"No Tobi," Zetsu sadly shook his head, "This is no time to be celebrating. This is a time for panic, for—"

"Balloons!" Tobi cheered, "Tobi's going to need one for everyone in Adamant Falls!" As the young joy demon rushed off, Zetsu ran after, speaking softly and calmly,

"Where there's smoke, there's fire, and where's there's fire – Ah!" Tobi stopped abruptly, causing Zetsu to bump into him as he began to count everyone,

"Let's see… One, two, three, four…" As he counted, he unknowingly bumped into Kisame; sending everything he was juggling to the floor.

"Tobi…" Kisame rolled his eyes before sighing, "Now I have to start over."

"We're _all_ going to have to start over," Zetsu shook his head, "In a new village because—"

"Let's go find some more things to juggle!" Tobi chimed, Kisame shaking his head and following the smaller demon as Zetsu desperately tried to get anyone to pay attention to him.

"EVERYONE LISTEN UP!" Everyone in the area turned upon hearing the roar of a familiar dragon. Sasuke shifted back into normal form before Itachi cleared his throat and began,

"There is smoke spreading all across the skies to the farthest reaches of the world!" All the demons gasped and cried as they looked towards the darkening skies, Zetsu muttering,

"That's what I was trying to tell—"

"But be assured," Itachi began again, interrupting the plant-demon, "I have just received a letter from the ten celestials informing me that it is _not_ being caused by a fire." Zetsu sighed, placing a hand over his calming heart,

"Thank goodness…" Itachi nodded before turning towards his brother who explained,

"It's being caused by a Volcanis Dragon." For Zetsu, everything else shut out as he gulped,

"V… Volcanis… Dragon?"

* * *

><p>"What in Jashin's blood-praised name is a full-grown Volcanis Dragon doing near Adamant Falls?" Hidan yowled as the group of demons met up at Itachi's library. Itachi was busy readying a field-guide and a few scrolls before Sasuke, sitting on the edge of a desk, explained,<p>

"Sleeping."

"_What?_" Everyone asked, Sasuke nodding,

"In this world, dragons are almost as varied as demons. But the main two sub-divisions are civilized dragons like me and my father, or wild dragons. The water-dragon we met on our way to Moonlit Summit was an example of a wild dragon. But the dragon that's in the mountain caves of Adamant is something else entirely."

"His snoring is what's causing all the smoke!" Itachi added as he packed a travel-bag.

"He should really see a doctor," Tobi hummed, "That _can't_ be healthy!" But Deidara huffed,

"Well, at least he's not snoring _fire_!", petting his hair in reassurance as Sasori asked,

"So what are _we_ meant to do about this?" Before Itachi or Sasuke could say anything, Kisame yelled,

"Give him the royal exit! 'Excuse me sir, but could you please rest your titanic ass somewhere else before we have to kick it out of here?'"

"Rokubi-sama has asked for all of us to go _persuade_ the Volcanis Dragon to find another place to sleep." Itachi narrowed his eyes towards the shark-demon, Kisame whistling as if he hadn't just said what he did. "If we don't succeed, our world will be covered in smoke for the next 100 years."

"Talk about your beauty sleep, un!" Deidara huffed.

"Enough joking around!" Sasuke spoke as he helped Itachi lift up the heavy travel pack, "We need to gather supplies and meet here in the next hour so we can head out!" But then he saw Naruto and coughed out, "Unless you want to stay that is, I would completely understand if it's too dangerous." Zetsu gave a sheepish chuckle at that,

"Actually… Now that you mention it…"

"Alright everyone, let's move out!" Itachi called out, everyone agreeing before they went back to their homes; Zetsu sighing as he quietly left the library.

* * *

><p>In his underwater estate, Kisame quickly packed some food, some drinks, and most importantly his sword; quickly checking that Naruto had his own small bag ready before they began the trip back.<p>

* * *

><p>In Goldleaf Farms, Kiro, Kire, and Kira were packing Hidan's travel-bag full of food while the oldest Shiroi-Hoku sons packed their father's bag with ropes and farming trowels. When they handed Kakuzu his bag, he nearly collapsed from the weight before Hidan helped him get his balance.<p>

* * *

><p>The area in front of Tobi's bakery <em>Swirl<em> was quiet until the young joy-demon popped out of the door, over-sized sunglasses on his face and his travel-bag full to bursting with something. When he shut the door, the contents of the bag, a bunch of multi-colored balloons, burst out, the joy-demon laughing as he bounced along.

* * *

><p>Sasori, dressed in the chic-est copper explorer's clothing, passed by the large mirror they had in the living room as he carried his and Deidara's travel bags. But when the blonde passed by, dressed in soldier-grade camouflage, Deidara scoffed in disgust. He rushed to his closet before coming out in a stylish camouflage tank-top with matching short-shorts. "Much better. Onward, un!"<p>

* * *

><p>And finally, Zetsu carefully walked out of his house. He had a fully packed travel-bag ready, but he was still uneasy about this ordeal. He even gasped in shock as the door slammed on him. "Gods help me…" Zetsu whispered.<p>

* * *

><p>Back in front of the library, everyone was ready and rearing to go as Itachi walked in front of them, announcing, "Alright guys, I've mapped out the quickest route but we'll have to double-time it if we want to get up the mountains by nightfall." Zetsu gulped,<p>

"Mountain?" As they looked up towards the smoke covered summit they would be climbing, Kakuzu commented,

"Looks pretty cold up there."

"Yeah," Kisame nodded, "Ivan told me about it once, kind of the opposite of ocean physics: in water, the lower you get the colder it gets, but with mountains the higher you get, it becomes freezing!"

"Luckily…" Deidara smiled as he dug into his bag, "I brought a scarf!" He pulled out a pastel green, cashmere scarf and wrapped it around his neck.

"Ooh!" Tobi awed, his eyes wide, "Pretty!"

"Yeah," Kisame chuckled, Kakuzu rolling his eyes, "That'll keep you toasty." But Zetsu wasn't in the happy mood at all. He was shivering as he looked up to the mountain and rushed over to where Itachi and Sasuke were discussing the map.

"Itachi? Um, excuse me… I know you're busy—"

"Mm-hm." Itachi hummed, "We could go _this_ way."

"If I could just have a second—"

"But we need to _avoid_ that aniki." Sasuke interrupted, Zetsu shaking his head before he spoke again,

"Look, I was thinking that maybe… I should just stay here in Adamant Falls."

"Uh-huh." Itachi hummed back, Zetsu smiling,

"Really? Okay, good! I'll just stay here and—"

"Wait a minute, whoa! Whoa!" Itachi called back, handing Sasuke the map and running after Zetsu, "You _have_ to come! Your way with wild animals can only come in handy for this!"

"But I—"

"And don't worry about your animals," Itachi smiled, "Sasuke and Naruto will take care of them while we're gone."

"Really?" Sasuke asked as Naruto walked up, holding Himawari in his hands and the birds flying around him. Himawari jumped in Sasuke's hands, just to bite him; the young dragon roaring in pain, scaring the other small creatures away. As he saw the Kitsune and the dragon chase after the animals, Zetsu tried again to plead his case,

"I don't think that they're up to the task and… I… Oh…" He gave up again as he saw Itachi walking away. As Itachi walked, Kakuzu walked after him, whispering,

"Are you sure you want Zetsu to come with us? He might end up slowing us down, I mean, look at him! He's afraid of his own shadow!" Sure enough, Zetsu whined as he desperately tried to outrun the shadow at his feet.

"He's just nervous." Itachi offered, "I'm sure that once we get up on the mountains, he'll man up. Everyone!" He called to the group, "Let's move out!" The other demons nodded before they began their trek to the mountains, but Tobi stayed with Zetsu a moment before asking,

"Zetsu-san, have you had your tea today?" The plant-demon blinked, thinking out loud,

"I could have sworn… Didn't Ongakuhana make me a cup..?"

"No worries!" Tobi beamed, taking a thermos out of nowhere, "Tobi's got it!" The joy-demon turned around and poured a cup of tea out before secretly stirring a capful of honey into it before he handed it to Zetsu, "Here you go!"

"Thank you Tobi…" The green-haired male nodded before sipping the hot liquid. But no sooner did he finish the drink, did his confidence about the trip sink even further. "I really don't want to do this…"

"Come on, Zetsu! You'll be fine, let's go!" Tobi tugged on Zetsu's arm, dragging the plant-demon up towards the mountain.

* * *

><p>A loud, deep roaring vibrated through the ground all the way from the tip of the mountain. Zetsu gulped and immediately hid behind Kisame (an old trait carried on from childhood), Hidan asking, "What the fuck was that?" Itachi chuckled,<p>

"Having grown up with it, I can confidently tell you that _that_ is what it sounds like when a dragon snores." Yellow eyes were wide as Zetsu looked up at the mountain,

"It's so… steep."

"It _is_ a mountain, Zetsu!" Kisame laughed, "Let's go check it out!"

So that's what they did as they all slowly climbed up the side of the mountain, Sasori speaking, "_I've_ heard that the only things shinier than a dragon's scales are the gold and gems they use to make their nests. Oh, maybe he can be convinced to part with a few!" You see, ever since he was a child, Sasori _loved_ all things shiny: gold, jewels, silks… It's partially why he decided to go into the fashion field. Of course, you could have seen this by the jeweled-scorpion chakra-mark on his hand. Tobi could only laugh before he feigned a dragon's voice,

"Welcome to my cave, Sasori, would you like a diamond?" They all laughed, aside for Itachi who sighed,

"This isn't a laughing matter! Zetsu," He asked, "What do you think is the best way to deal with this situation?" It was quiet. "Zetsu?" Said plant-demon was shivering at the base of the mountain, shaking his head,

"It's too high…"

"It's a cliff!" Kakuzu yelled, "Just use your chakra and vine your way up here!"

"Come on Zetsu-san," Tobi smiled, "You can do it!"

"Alright…" Zetsu whispered, tapping the ground with his feet; a trio of vines slowly growing out of the soil—

Another massive roar shook the ground, Zetsu's eyes turning into pinpricks of yellow; the vines creating a protective cocoon around him and sticking into the ground. The group groaned, Itachi gritting out,

"We don't have time for this!" All at once, Hidan shivered as maternal-instinct kicked up. He took the map from Itachi, the weasel-demon asking, "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to need this if I'm going to take him around the mountain another way."

"Are shitting me?" Kakuzu shook his head, "That will take _forever_!" But Hidan was already in cat-form, bounding down the mountain to meet up with Zetsu. The plant-demon wanted to get out of his safety blanket, but another roar had more vines rushing up to thicken the defense even more.

"I'll be there in just a sec, don't worry!" Hidan yelled back as the others climbed further up.

* * *

><p>Tobi was drawing the winning circle in a game of tic-tac-toe on the ground, cheering, "Yay! Tobi wins again!" Deidara pouted, looking at all the used tic-tac-toe boards they had drawn in the soil,<p>

"Ugh, that's 35 games in a row, un!" He looked at his watch and smiled, "Best of 71?" Itachi, Kisame, Sasori, and Kakuzu were waiting on the other two demons to show when a familiar curse got their attention.

"We…" Hidan panted as he dragged Zetsu's cocoon behind him, "Made… It… Fuck!" He collapsed, panting from exhaustion.

"Told you he was going to slow us down…" Kakuzu whispered to Itachi before he went to help his wife.

* * *

><p>They were all walking up the mountain trail, Hidan having to push Zetsu along seeing as how the plant-demon still didn't want to go. They soon came to a gap in the path, Kisame quickly jumping over to the other side. Itachi followed suit, just as everyone did until Zetsu was left behind. He gulped as he looked down into the chasm, Itachi yelling,<p>

"Zetsu, please come on! We should be farther than this by now!"

"It's too wide…" Zetsu shook his head, Hidan offering,

"You could just jump!" The dragon roared again, causing Zetsu to fall into a fetal position in fear. Tobi only laughed,

"Don't worry! It's just a hop, skip, and a jump!", as he jumped back over, singing,

"_It's not very far, _

_Just move your sexy rump! _

_You can make it with_

_Just a hop, _

_Skip, _

_And a jump!"_

Kakuzu and Kisame only shook their heads, Sasori trying anything to get Tobi's singing out of his ears as Itachi rolled his eyes,

"We don't have the time for this…"

"_A hop, _

_Skip, _

_And a jump!_

_Just move your sexy rump!_

_A hop, _

_Skip, _

_And a jump!"_ Tobi smiled as he kept jumping over the gap, Zetsu watching him over and over until, finally, he smiled gently and nodded,

"Okay… Here I go… A hop… Skip…"

"You can do it!" Kisame yelled just as Zetsu jumped over, "Just don't look down!"

"Don't do what now?" Zetsu asked, looking down into the chasm and screaming; holding out his arms…

…To land on the other side of the gap that wasn't even a foot away. Itachi felt like he was going to have a nervous breakdown, but he only took a deep breath and calmly asked, "Kisame, if you could please?"

"I got it." The bluenette nodded as he jumped over, picked a traumatized Zetsu up, and jumped back.

* * *

><p>Higher up they walked, reaching a path that was bordered around by precariously perched rocks and stones. "Keep it down guys," Itachi explained, "According to the map, we're about to enter an avalanche zone. The smallest peep could cause a massive rock slide."<p>

"Right then," Sasori whispered, "Mum's the word!" They all carefully walked down the path, Zetsu asking,

"Ava… Ava—"

"Shut up!" Itachi hissed out before redeeming himself, "Just keep calm, okay?" Tobi agreed, mixing another cup of tea with _a lot_ of honey,

"You need more tea!" He whispered as Zetsu took it and drank. They all walked, Zetsu following closely behind Kisame and Tobi. Kisame lifted up a low hanging branch, allowing Itachi to get by, but when he let it go two leaves fell from it; landing of Zetsu's head.

"AVALA—" Hidan quickly covered his mouth, but Zetsu's scream was already echoing through the mountains. Everyone waited, expecting the worse. But for a moment, it seemed fine.

They all sighed in relief. But a few stones trickled down the mountain walls. They knocked down larger stones, and they in turn moved bigger stones until the whole area was in the chaotic storm known by all as an—

"Avalanche!"


	16. Zetsu, DragonSlayer Part 2

**A/N: I'm really feeling the urge to do some fanart for this fic... But I have to fix my laptop so it will accept my scanner to do so. Should I?**

* * *

><p>It was a mad, desperate dash to avoid the collapsing rocks and rubble crashing down towards them. It was fine for the demons used to physical labor and training, but some of the more, ahem, delicate ones were falling behind. Deidara almost tripped on a stray rock, Sasori heaving him up and out of harm's way.<p>

Itachi was running as fast as he could, but his eyes widened as a massive boulder was falling towards him. Just before it could land, Kisame pushed him out of the way; the boulder landing with a vicious cloud of dust.

Finally, the event ceased, the result being a hill of dirt and rock standing in the pathway. "Everyone okay?" Kisame asked as he helped Itachi to his feet.

"Yes," Itachi smiled, "Thanks to you I am." Tobi was happily bouncing around Sasori and Deidara, both demons covered in dirt as he giggled,

"Whoo-hoo! That was fun, let's go again!" Deidara shook the dirt off of himself, noticing that he had lost his scarf in the panic,

"This is why one must _always_ pack extra accessories, un!" He dug into his bag and brought out a viridian-shaded scarf, wrapping it around his neck. Sasori cleared his throat as he looked at his fiancé,

"_Please_ tell me you brought the tiara that goes with that." Kakuzu interrupted the fashion-talk,

"I think we have more important things to worry about than making sure that our highlights match our shoes, people!" He was, of course, referring to the mound of rubble blocking their path. Zetsu whispered,

"Sorry," As he hid behind a rock.

"No problem." Kisame reassured his friend, "We'll just have to…" He groaned, "Climb over." They all groaned before starting the climb. By the time they managed to drag their exhausted bodies over the obstacle, Kakuzu could only grit out to Itachi,

"Do you _still_ think that it was such a good idea to bring Zetsu along?" Itachi looked up ahead and answered,

"We're about to find out." Sur enough, they had reached the massive cave on top of the mountains where the Volcanis Dragon was sleeping away, smoke billowing out of the entrance. "Alright then, Deidara, you use your wings to clear the smoke." The blonde nodded before shifting into bird form and flying into the dark clouds. "Sasori and Tobi, you create a diversion in case the Volcanis Dragon things get heated in there." The scorpion-demon nodded, Tobi rushing away and pulling a rubber chicken out of his bag; swinging it around. Sasori gave a look that screamed, 'wtf' but Itachi could only shake his head, "I don't even know anymore." But he looked to Kisame, Hidan, and Kakuzu before saying, "And you guys will be ready to help out if a fight breaks out, right?"

"More than ready to help!" Kisame smirked as he brought out his sword, Hidan holding up his scythe, and Kakuzu bringing out his rope.

"But it shouldn't come to that," Itachi smiled, "Because Zetsu will do everything in his power to wake him up." The shivering plant-demon didn't seem to agree with that too much, "We should be able to convince him to move his sleeping quarters. So, without any further ado," He turned towards the cave, "Let's go."

* * *

><p>"So…" Itachi began as he walked into the dark cave, "What <em>is<em> the best way to wake up a sleeping Volcanis Dragon, huh Zetsu?" However, when he turned around, "Zetsu?" He saw that he was alone. "Oh, come on!" He whispered as he ran back outside, just to see Zetsu furiously trying to burrow himself a hiding place in the ground. "Zetsu, come on! We have to do this!" He pulled the demon up and began trying to push him towards the cave, "Every second we wait…" Kisame joined in the pushing, "Is another…" Kakuzu and Hidan began to help, "Acre of…" Then Sasori and Deidara, "The world that's covered in smoke!" Tobi giggled as he joined in the pushing, Zetsu not budging an inch.

"I…" The plant-demon whispered, "I can't go in there…"

"Great!" Kakuzu huffed, "He's scared of _caves_ now too!"

"I'm not afraid of caves…" Zetsu defended himself, "I'm scared of v…ns…"

"What was that?" Hidan asked, Zetsu beginning again,

"I'm scared of vo…gons…"

"What?" Itachi shook his head, Zetsu finally stating,

"I'm scared of Volcanis Dragons!" Just then, the Volcanis Dragon in the cave yawned, a cloud of ash-filled smoke billowing out of the cave and sending everyone into a coughing fit. Itachi coughed as he rushed over to Zetsu, now hiding behind Kisame again,

"But you have a wonderful talent deal with all sorts of wild animals!"

"None of those wild animals ever killed my parents…" Zetsu explained, "Or demolished my home, or forced me to leave everything and anything that I had left of my previous life behind in a rush of magma, fire, and smoke! Itachi, I can't do this!" There were almost tears in the plant-demon's yellow eyes, Tobi asking as he made Zetsu another cup of honey-tea,

"Sasuke's a dragon! You're not scared of him!" But in the joy-demon's mind, he was wondering, _'Come on, why isn't this working!'_ Zetsu drank the cup, explaining,

"Sasuke's a civil dragon, not a savage, blood-thirsty, vile-hearted Volcanis Dragon!"

"If you had such a bad history with Volcanis Dragons," Itachi cried, "Why didn't you say something before we came all the way up here?" Zetsu gave a sort of glare towards the weasel-demon before calmly asking,

"Itachi, tell me the truth: would you have even listened?"

"Well…" Itachi cleared his throat, "I…" But Zetsu wasn't waiting for an answer; he was already walking over; vines from the ground surrounding him in another cocoon. "Zetsu…"

"Well, that plan was a bust, un." Deidara chirped as he flew down from the smoke cloud. Sasori thought for a moment before he smiled,

"Allow me to give this situation a bit of charm!", and walked into the cave.

* * *

><p>"Excuse me!" He called out as he walked in, noticing that it was getting hotter with each step he took. Finally, he stepped into a pile of gold and jewels, his copper eyes going wide in joy before they looked up and up and <em>up<em> at the titanic fiery red and coal-black figure of the sleeping Volcanis Dragon. "So sorry to interrupt!" The dragon slowly opened his eyes, gleaming red slits glaring at Sasori. "But I couldn't go home without mentioning what gorgeous scales you have!" The Volcanis Dragon readjusted itself, a crack in the ceiling allowing for some light to dance along his scales. Sasori nodded, walking into the nest and picking up some gold bars to put in his bag, examining an amethyst necklace,

"Such a pity that such beauty has to be shut away in a dark cave for a hundred years…", before putting it on. The Volcanis Dragon smiled a bit at the compliments, moving to preen himself as Sasori put on a gem-encrusted crown and a few rose-gold bangles. "Personally," The redhead began, "I think you should skip the snoozing and go forth into the world, show off that fabulousness!" Just when it seemed that the beast would agree, Sasori saw a huge rose-diamond and cuddled it to himself, humming, "I would be _more_ than happy to watch your treasure for you." The dragon growled, his whole being glowing as it was about to breath a plume of fire onto the sweet-talking intruder. "Or… Maybe not?" Sasori chuckled nervously before dropping the diamond and rushing out with what little treasure he could get away with before the dragon scorched him within an inch of his life.

Outside, Sasori pouted, "That diamond was almost mine!" But a glare from Itachi caused him to change his story, "I mean, the dragon was almost gone! Oh well," He took an inspecting lens from his bag and began to see the worth of the few gems he had been able to get his hands on. Itachi decided to instill a sense of diplomacy into the situation as he walked into the cave once more.

* * *

><p>"Hello?" He quietly called out, "Mr. Volcanis Dragon?" He wiped a bit of sweat from his forehead from the growing heat, but soon found its source as he bumped into the creature's massive body; his eyes going wide at its fearsome visage. "Mr. Volcanis Dragon?" The beast rolled over before it opened its eyes, Itachi sighing, "Oh good, you're awake. Allow me to introduce myself: My name is Uchiha—" The dragon yawned, interrupting the brunette as a cloud of horrible bad breath swamped past him. "Ugh, such halitosis… Itachi and my friends and I have come to ask if you could find another place to take your nap."<p>

The dragon snorted out another cloud of smoke, Itachi coughing out, "Your sleeping seems to come with some smoking hazards and, well, our world simply can't survive 100 years in a dark haze. You understand, right?" The dragon stood on his haunches, yawning and scratching its stomach. Itachi smiled, "So you'll move?"

The creature's answer was to exhale a rush of scalding hot steam, Itachi running out of the cave to avoid it but not being quick enough. "Itachi!" Kisame and Hidan screamed as the weasel-demon came out, his shoulder and arm now sporting serious burns.

"Its fine – Ah!" The brunette hissed, pain shooting out as he tried to sit.

"Like hell you are!" Kisame growled, "When diplomacy fails, conflict is the only response!" And with that, he rushed into the cave despite Itachi warning him otherwise.

* * *

><p>He ignored the temperature change and charged forward. Upon reaching the Volcanis Dragon, who was awake from Itachi's interruption, he yelled, "Get your scaly, over-sized ass out of my home!" Before wielding his sword, jumping up, and slicing through three of the dragon's spikes. The dragon was a bit shocked at the attack, but upon seeing his spikes fall to the floor, his anger level went through the roof as he stood to full height.<p>

"Oh, you're a big dragon aren't you?" Kisame gulped as the beast's body glowed red.

* * *

><p>Kisame's screams could be heard as he rushed out of the cave, his pants literally on fire. "Now what?" Kakuzu asked, just for a party-whistle to pierce through the air. Everyone looked over and saw Tobi dressed up as an adorable clown, carrying a bunch of balloons and a jar of confetti.<p>

"Tobi, you look ridiculous, un." Deidara dead-panned, Tobi smiling,

"Tobi knows! Sharing a laugh is the perfect way to get someone on your side!" And with that, he walked inside and made a bunch of happy commotion, "Hi! Tobi's name is Tobi and—" There was a growl along with the sound of all the balloons popping at once before Tobi screamed as he was thrown out of the cave, crashing into group. "Something tells Tobi that he doesn't like laughing… Or sharing…" Everyone gasped as they saw the Volcanis Dragon stomping out of his cave. Before they could run, the dragon exhaled a hot stream of smoke that ended up knocking them into a wall of rock; causing it to crumble. It was that same wall of rock that Zetsu was hiding behind. The plant-demon gasped as he saw everyone either in pain or in almost unconsciousness. But when his eyes landed on Tobi, now sporting some burns from his encounter with the beast, something snapped inside him.

The dragon walked forward, determined to be rid of the demons once and for all. He almost didn't hear when Zetsu whispered, "How dare you…" The dragon was about to take one more step before, out of nowhere, vines shot up from all over the ground and wrapped around the dragon's body. He writhed and roared out in a panic, desperately trying to burn the restraints away, but his eyes went wide as he saw Zetsu walking forward and grabbing onto the vines, tightening their hold on the best. The group slowly regained their bearings, they saw a strange sight. Zetsu's arms and legs started to shift from white to black as he glared at the Volcanis Dragon and yelled, "HOW DARE YOU?" He whipped the vines, sending the dragon to the floor as he yelled out, "Just because you're big and breathe ash and magma, you think that you can terrorize wherever you want?" He whipped the vines, some of them whipping at the dragon's hide, "Kill whatever, whoever you want?"

"Zetsu-san…" Tobi gulped, almost scared of the plant-demon's current demeanor.

"Well, let me tell _you_ something!" Zetsu shouted, the black seeming to stop before his neck, "You… do _not_ hurt those who are closest to me! **Understand..?"** At the deep change in voice, the Volcanis Dragon sheepishly nodded. **"I didn't hear you…"**

"But…" The Volcanis Dragon meeped, "The blue one cut my spikes…" Kisame could only hum,

"You kind of asked for it." The sight of the fear in the beast's eyes caused Zetsu to calm down, his skin reverting back to white before he gently spoke,

"And I'm so sorry about that. But you're bigger than him, so you should know better. You should also know not to take a nap where it could endanger a whole ecosystem."

"But I—"

"No buts!" Zetsu wagged a finger, "Now what do you have to say for yourself?" The dragon was silent. **"Well?"** All of a sudden, the dragon began sobbing, sending warm, mineral-filled tears raining to the ground. "There, there. It's okay. We all make mistakes. Now," Zetsu unwound the vines from his body, "Go pack your things, you just need to find a better place to sleep."

"Yay!" Tobi cheered, jumping into Zetsu's arms, "You did it! Tobi knew you could!" As they all celebrated Zetsu's success, the Volcanis Dragon gathered up his treasures and slowly flew away in search of calmer, less scary nesting grounds. The wind from his wings caused Tobi's thermos and the bottle of honey he had to fall from his pockets and roll to Kakuzu's feet. The stitch-demon picked both up and his eyebrow twitched.

"Zetsu?"

"Yes?"

"Have you been drinking honey with your tea _all_ this time?" The stitch-demon gritted out, Zetsu humming,

"I don't recall… Tobi's been making my tea all day today, so you would have to ask him."

"Damn it Tobi!" The older brunette snapped, "No wonder Zetsu was so panicky today! Don't you know what honey does to plants and plant-demons?"

"Makes them braver?" Tobi smiled, Kakuzu frowning,

"Makes them more _docile,_ more _fearful_!" The joy-demon could only giggle,

"Oopsie."

"Oh, Tobi…"

* * *

><p>Back in Adamant Falls, the flying demons were busy clearing the ash-filled clouds away. And inside Itachi's library…<p>

"Ow, ow, ow!" Naruto yowled in pain as his hair was tugged at by two birds who wanted to make a nest. Sasuke was too busy trying to chase after Himawari, the white rabbit trying to climb up the bookshelves before he finally grabbed her.

"How does Zetsu deal with you furry little bastards?" He seethed as Himawari was still trying to get away from him.

"Sasuke?" Said dragon looked down and saw Itachi, the weasel-demon calling up, "Can you write a letter to Rokubi-sama telling him that we've solved our Volcanis Dragon problem?"

"Heh," Sasuke laughed, dropping Himawari to the ground in favor of getting a scroll of paper, "With pleasure."

* * *

><p><strong>OMAKE<strong>

Ongakuhana giggled as she was tucked into bed, Zetsu kissing her on the forehead before he smiled, "Good night my musical flower." The little girl yawned before cuddling into her blankets. Zetsu turned the bedroom light off before quietly closing the door. He yawned as he decided to head to bed.

The green-haired demon walked into the head bathroom of his house, adjacent to his bedroom, and washed his face. He grabbed for a floral-print towel and dried his face, but when he looked back into the mirror –

"**Hey there!"**

"Shit!" He yelped as he almost fell at the sight of his reflection. Only, his reflection had black skin and his yellow eyes were much fiercer. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"**Well, I should say that I feel pretty damn insulted!"** Black Zetsu huffed, **"Getting this treatment after I saved your life!"**

"Yes, and I thank you for that but you need to go!" White Zetsu hissed, "Ongakuhana can't hear her father acting like this!"

"**You know,"** The darker entity spoke, **"It's funny. When we were younger, you had no problem with me taking over."** White Zetsu lowered his eyes, muttering,

"Things have changed… I'm an adult now with my own family, I can't go back to those days—"

"**YOU FUCKING WUSS, I oughta-!"**

"Zetsu-san!" The plant-demon turned around, his darker half disappearing as he heard Tobi's voice.

"Tobi?" He asked as he walked into the hallway, "What are you doing here?" Tobi giggled before jumping into Zetsu's arms and kissing him,

"Tobi wanted to thank Zetsu for saving us today! Is Ongakuhana asleep yet?" Zetsu blinked before he got the gist of what Tobi was saying.

"Yes, I just put her to bed a few minutes ago and – Hey!" He didn't get to say much else before Tobi shifted his weight, causing both of them to fall into Zetsu's room, Tobi making sure to lock the door behind them.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks for reading! Please leave feedback! **

**-Tyranno's girl**


	17. The House Under The Sea

**A/N: **

**Okay, so I've been rereading the reviews that this story has been getting (you all are **_**aweseome**_** because of them by the way) and I can see that a certain topic keeps popping up: **

**Kisame and Itachi's relationship. **

**Rest assured, this story **_**is**_** KisaIta, but my problem is that I'm so much better at writing them in the sense that their relationship is already in the works. So with a story like this where I have to go into the talks and the dating and the eventual confession/love-making… I find myself a bit stymied. **

**I have so many ideas, but I have to sort them into what works and what doesn't and there are other factors that I have to consider and * sigh *… **

**What I should have said instead of rambling for the past two paragraphs, was that this chapter isn't inspired by the MLP: FiM series. I'm going to occaisionally do mini-chapters like these so that Kisame and Itachi can have the opportunity to develop as a couple. Alright, now that that's done with, let's read.**

**Also… I have **_**no**_** idea what happened but I was working on this chapter for close to **_**three weeks**_** and it still turned out crappy by my standards. Oh well… **

**Disclaimer: Don't own any franchise whatsoever people. The only things I own are my ideas and my few OCs. **

**Now let's read.**

* * *

><p><em>If I ever had a mother, I don't remember them.<em>

Small hands pushed a stepping stool along the storybook section of the Adamant Falls library. A small boy with short black and blue hair that hid the small matching otter-ears nestled in the dark locks. His dark eyes skimming over the bindings of the books before he reached up, having to jump a bit due to his smallness, and got three of the thickest ones.

He placed the three heavy books into what seemed like a miniature wagon before pulling it to the information desk. He had heard that there was a new librarian here, but he hadn't seen them yet since he hadn't needed anything new to read.

"Hello there." The boy gasped as he saw the beautiful face of the librarian. Long, dark hair, gorgeous pale skin, and a wonderful smile… "Ready to check out?" The boy nodded, handing the librarian his card.

_If I ever had a mother, I don't remember them. But now, I think I've found someone that might be able to fill the spot. _

* * *

><p>A while down the road after Itachi had gotten a firm hold on the handles of running the Adamant Falls library; he began to notice a few things.<p>

First, there were certain days when more adult demons would come in than children. But those days were few and far between and most of them wanted to get into the adult section.

"There." Itachi huffed as he opened the door to the adult literature section for a silver-haired dog demon named Kakashi. Most of his face was covered in a thin, fabric mask, but Itachi could see one of his eyes curve up into a smile.

"Why thank you Itachi-kun… Say, maybe you should come in here with me this time and—"

"First of all," Itachi gritted out, "You're married. Second of all, quit being a pervert. And third of all, you teach at the elementary school with Iruka. Should I tell him about your _questionable_ activities?"

"No, no!" Kakashi waved his hands in defense, "I'll be good, just don't call the evil dolphin-demon, please!" And with that, he rushed into the darkened room.

* * *

><p>But something that Itachi found he really enjoyed was the weekly story-time that the library held. Since they hadn't had a librarian in a while, the children were more than over-joyed that Itachi had taken up the position again.<p>

"..And with a mighty clap of thunder, the giant, stormy clouds in the sky began to cry, releasing sheets of rain to the parched ground below." The weasel-demon was currently reading one of the many tales of Rokubi's adventures (his personal favorites).

The small demon children all sat on the floor around, eyes wide and attention glued in on every word and detail.

"And after that," Itachi smiled softly as he read the last few sentences, "The dusty dry desert never experienced such a terrible drought again, thanks to the intervention of the legendary Rokubi No Raijuu." Itachi closed the book, stating, "That's it for this week children. You should get back to your parents, it's getting late." The children were obviously dismayed but they all happily rushed out of the reading room.

Except for one…

Itachi had started to clean up the room, picking up the pillows and blankets that the children used for story time, when his ears twitched.

He wasn't alone.

He looked up and blinked when he saw a small otter-demon child with black and blue hair. "Um…" Itachi began, clearing his throat, "Aren't you going to head home?" The child shook his head before walking over, picking up a few things as he went. Itachi nodded, "Oh, you want to help me out again, okay."

Itachi was cleaning up the desks one day when he noticed the small demon staying behind to help him. The routine had seemed to stick for the next couple of weeks and this evening was no exception. But this time after they had finished, Mizuki wanted to check out a book on the family-dynamic. Itachi shook his head but asked for the boy's library card…

Itachi flinched, reading the card carefully to make sure that he hadn't misread anything. But there it was, clear as day,

"Hoshigaki… Mizuki…"

* * *

><p>The next afternoon Itachi didn't have to open the library, so he decided to meet up with Hidan and Deidara for lunch at a local café. When they had all been seated and given drinks, Itachi decided to get straight to the point. "Do you two know…" He cleared his throat, "A boy named Mizuki?"<p>

"Oh, of course, un!" Deidara smiled, taking a bite out of a sweet crepe. Hidan had slurped down some udon noodles when he added,

"Kisame's son. Oh, that's right. You haven't met him yet, have you?"

"I've seen him a few times at the library," Itachi gritted out, swallowing a spoonful of soup, "But Kisame never told me anything about that…"

Hidan and Deidara were pretty quiet after that; Itachi's deadly aura reducing them to silence.

* * *

><p>"He's married…" Itachi whispered to himself as he walked home that evening, "Or divorced or he has some long-standing fling or – Fuck!" He kicked at the ground, wanting to kick himself for thinking that he could even try and get closer to a demon like Kisame. "What was I thinking? Demons like Kisame can have their pick of whatever kind of demons they want. And look at me, pale, skinny, bookworm Uchiha Itachi…"<p>

He was so busy degrading himself that he almost didn't notice when a small, familiar figure standing next to him. "Mizuki-kun?" Mizuki was quiet as he gently took Itachi's arm, inspecting the bandages on it that went up to his shoulder.

"You've been burned." He spoke in his quiet voice. Itachi nodded, explaining,

"When me and my friends went to get the Volcanis Dragon to move the other day, he wasn't that keen on the idea." Mizuki inspected the bandages for a moment before nodding to himself and bowing,

"Oyasumi.", before walking off, leaving Itachi more than a tad bit confused.

* * *

><p>The next morning seemed to have Itachi in its crosshairs for painfully awkward occurrences because just as he walked down the street after picking some bread up from <em>Swirl<em>, he bumped into, who else, but Hoshigaki Kisame himself.

"Hey, what's the big – Oh, Itachi!" The shark smiled as he helped the brunette to his feet. Itachi flinched a bit in pain as Kisame took his injured hand, the bluenette asking, "The burns are still that bad, huh?"

"Yes." Itachi curtly replied, averting his eyes. Kisame seemed to ignore his attitude before he announced,

"You know, I have some ointment back at my house that does wonders for burns. Maybe you should," He cleared his throat, face going a bit purple as he thought about what he was about to say, "Come over for a bit."

Itachi was sure that the blush that appeared on his face could rival any of the tomatoes of Goldleaf Farms. Before his mouth could make a fool out of him in the form of stutters and gasps, Itachi stated, "Underwater? I'm not a water demon, Kisame."

"It's fine!" Kisame chuckled, tilting Itachi's chin up so they could see eye to eye; black eyes staring into scarlet. They stayed that way for a moment until Kisame pulled away and explained, "Ahem… All you need is an Aquamarine. **( 1 )**"

"The water stones?" Itachi asked, "Aren't those really expensive and..?" His voice trailed off as Kisame searched his pant pockets for something.

"Just hold on a second…" Kisame hummed as he rummaged around before he smiled and brought out what looked like a gold necklace with a piece of coral at the center that shined like a sapphire.

"I found this while walking around my neighborhood a while back. You can have it."

"It's beautiful…" Itachi whispered as the necklace was placed in his hands. A strange feeling bloomed up within his center, he didn't know what it was but he blinked out of it when his ears caught Kisame's voice asking,

"So… Is around five okay? That way you could stay for dinner – Unless you have something else to do! Then I perfectly understand!" A part of Itachi's mind whispered something about him being basically asked out by a demon who might be married, but Itachi nodded,

"That would be great." Throwing out all reason.

"Great!" Kisame nodded, reaching into his pocket for a piece of paper that he quickly wrote his address on, "I'll see you then!" Then he was walking away towards the beach, leaving Itachi mentally kicking himself for accepting the invitation.

* * *

><p>"WHAT DID I DO?" Kisame yelled to himself as he walked around his house, Mizuki watching him with an uninterested gaze as the small otter-demon swept the area in front of the door. "I'm such an idiot, I was just talking and before I knew it I invited him over? What is <em>wrong<em> with me? I haven't even bought anything special for dinner or redecorated or—"

"Baka-same…" Mizuki muttered, Kisame snapping,

"How many times have I told you not to call me that?" Mizuki rolled his eyes, calmly stating,

"I just swept that area of the living room, if you're going to spazz about Itachi-san visiting, could you do it outside?" Kisame was about to say something in chastisement to the small demon, but he sighed,

"Let me put dinner in the oven before I go…"

* * *

><p>A cool, salty breeze floated through the air as Itachi walked along the sandy beaches of Adamant later that evening. "Okay Itachi…" The weasel-demon whispered to himself, "You've been swimming before, and it wasn't too bad…" He sighed, "But I wasn't going to visit a married shark-demon who I have a crush on."<p>

Finally deciding to take the plunge (horrible puns be damned), Itachi made sure that the necklace Kisame had given him was safely around his neck before slowly stepping towards the waves, cool water splashing his feet.

Wading a bit further, he found that he was able to float a bit and that was when he took a breath and dived underneath the waves.

* * *

><p>The first thing that would come to mind for one's first visit to the ocean floor of this world would simply be: beautiful. Itachi was so entranced by the underwater world that he barely noticed as his feet touched the smooth sandy surface. Itachi's eyes were wide as they took in the new area, almost as if discovering a new world. Due to all the water above, it seemed as if everything was glazed over in a light shade of blue. Yet some of the items, plants, and rocks on the seabed held their own glows and hues.<p>

A duo of beautiful clownfish danced across Itachi's lien of vision, causing the weasel-demon to gasp…

And nothing. It was just like if he was back in Adamant Falls. "Okay…" Itachi said to himself. "Now let's see…" He carefully took the paper that Kisame had given him out of his pocket, noticing with relief that it was water-proof paper. "I need to find Misty Drive…"

Walking underwater… Proved to be a challenge that Itachi felt he wasn't going to master during his first trip under the sea, so he settled for swimming; occasionally stopping to ask for directions. The last batch of advice, from a mermaid, took him to a ritzy, elegant section of suburban homes that, even though they were underwater, screamed monetary wealth and celebrity.

"This can't be the right street…" Itachi shook his head, but sure enough, he soon passed a blue coral, seashell-encrusted signpost that read 'Misty Drive'. "Oh gods." Itachi gulped, swimming down the glass-hewn sidewalk until he stopped, gulping as he read the paper, "33 Misty Drive…"

Itachi had _no_ possible means of thinking that Kisame lived in such a grand house. Three floors made of coral, ceramic, and gemstones, two spires on top reaching towards the ocean's surface. The impressive estate was surrounded by a steel, coral-infused gate.

Itachi landed in front of the gates, looking around and seeing a switch that he carefully flipped, the crackling of a speaker sounding before Mizuki's voice asked, "Who is it?"

"Mizuki-kun?" Itachi asked, "It's me, Itachi from the library." It was quiet for a moment until the gates creaked open, the weasel-demon taking the hint to walk, er, swim in.

* * *

><p>The mansion's interior was just as, if not more, splendid than the exterior. Itachi busy looking around the front room when he heard the sounds of fighting and noises of exertion from outside. He swam over to a window and saw Kisame outside. The shark-demon's dark eyes were focused as he practiced moving his hands and limbs in the well-practiced movements of martial arts. Kisame moved his body with more ease down here than he did on land, and that was saying something. Itachi probably could have watched him all day, the way those muscles flexed and contracted with every kick, every punch, if it weren't for a soft voice that spoke,<p>

"Good evening."

"Hm?" Itachi turned and saw Mizuki walking down the marble staircase, a book in his hand. "Oh, hello Mizuki-kun. Thank you for having me in your home." As Itachi bowed in common courtesy, Mizuki walked over and had to give a little jump so he could look out the window. When he had seen enough, he explained,

"He'll probably be out there for another thirty minutes… And then dinner won't be ready until 7:30…" He was quiet for a minute, counting on his tiny fingers the minutes since he had thrown out whatever Kisame had put in the oven and replaced it with something the book he checked out said would be more 'romantic', whatever that meant.

"Oh, well I don't want to disturb him." Itachi sighed. Before he knew it, Mizuki had taken his hand. The small, sudden touch almost made Itachi flinch before those wide, dark eyes looked up at him and spoke,

"I can show you around the house…"

"Well, that would be very nice of you, Mizuki-kun." Mizuki allowed the briefest hint of a smile to appear on his face before he and Itachi swam towards the sitting room to start the tour.

* * *

><p>"Mizuki!" Kisame called as he walked into the mansion, wiping himself down with a towel (despite already being underwater). He called out again, trying to see if Itachi had showed up yet. The mansion was empty, even sans Mizuki's footsteps so Kisame was getting a bit unnerved. "Mizuki!" He called out once more before going into the sitting room to see Itachi sitting across from the small demon, rolling a ball to him as they played a game of catch. Kisame averted his gaze, a purple blush growing on his face as he couldn't ignore how cute, how <em>right<em> the scene seemed. "Hey!"

Both parties looked over, Itachi smiling, "Kisame, you're back from training?" The shark nodded before frowning towards Mizuki,

"You didn't even offer to drain the place?" The bluenette shook his head before walking towards the wall and opening a shell-covered latch, revealing a lever. He pulled it, the water in the house immediately sinking. Itachi watched on as the water got lower and lower, all rushing out back into the ocean from some undisclosed location, before it was all gone; Itachi feeling much more at ease without the water. "There we go." Itachi took a moment to get his balance back before standing and thanking Kisame, the taller male nodding before he stated, "I bet Mizuki's already given you the tour of this place, huh?"

"Yes, he's been very polite and…" Itachi blinked as Kisame walked over and grounded his fist into the child's head, growling playfully,

"What was the big idea behind not telling me when our guest got here, huh?" Mizuki seemed to try his best to ignore the shark before Kisame picked the otter-demon up and sat him on his shoulder as if he weighed nothing, "Well, dinner should be just about ready. And then afterwards I can give you that ointment for your burn, Itachi."

"Oh… Yes, of course." Itachi nodded as Kisame led the way to the kitchen.

* * *

><p>"Hey, what the..?" Kisame questioned as he took the roasting salmon out of the oven, "What happened to the steak I had in here?"<p>

"Not in the mood…" Mizuki replied, going to the fridge to get drinks. Kisame only shook his head before going to the cabinet to get plates, calling over to Itachi,

"Sorry for the unexpected change in menu."

"It's fine." Itachi shook his head, looking around the large kitchen. It was impressive enough to keep up with the rest of the mansion without over-passing it.

"I would say let's eat in the dining room," Kisame explained, portioning food (the fish and a few sides) onto three plates, "But even with three people, the place seems uncomfortably empty." So with that, the bluenette got three chairs and set them around the island in the kitchen. Mizuki barely managed to push the drinks onto the island, but couldn't quite seem to make it onto his chair.

"Oh, hold on a minute." Itachi spoke before he lifted Mizuki up and gently sat him on the chair, the child settling into his seat before Itachi sat down.

"Itadakimasu!" Kisame chimed, grabbing a fork before he began eating. The food was delicious, Itachi commented, noticing that seafood while under the sea had a more intense flavor. He looked over to ask Mizuki if he was enjoying his food when he saw the child pushing his food around with his fork.

"Do you need some help?" Itachi smiled, Mizuki nodding before Itachi took his fork. "Okay, let's just pick this up…"

"_What the hell is that kid up to?"_ Kisame wondered as he saw Mizuki letting himself be fed by the weasel-demon. Usually, Mizuki hated to even be touched (Kisame had _so_ many bite-marks to prove his point), so why was he begging to be babied by Itachi so much all of a sudden?

Though it was mostly silent, Kisame and Itachi had managed to have a gentle conversation: Itachi asking about life under the ocean and Kisame asking about work in the library. It turned out the builders of the mansion had built a library into the mansion, which explained why Itachi hardly ever saw Kisame at the Adamant Falls one…

Unless it was for a social-visit.

But sooner than later, dinner was finished, Itachi thanking the two water-demons for the excellent meal.

"You have dango in the freezer." Mizuki stated before he jumped down from the chair and left to go read in the mansion library. Kisame let a puff of air pass his lips, scratching the back of his head,

"Sometimes I find myself wondering what's going through his head sometimes."

* * *

><p>Back in the sitting room, laughter could be heard as Kisame and Itachi had decided to have a leisurely drink to accompany the dessert and just have a nice talk. "I don't know why Sasuke won't say anything to Naruto already!" Kisame laughed, "It's so obvious that he likes him!" Itachi chuckled before taking a sip of his wine,<p>

"Well, Sasuke's always been shy ever since he was a hatchling. He's never really known how to deal with others."

"I suppose…" Kisame sighed, topping off his glass before he asked, "What about you?"

"What do you mean?" Itachi wondered, Kisame clarifying,

"You have anyone special to you?"

"Who, me?" Itachi waved his hands in defense, nearly choking on his wine, "No, of course not! Not that I couldn't, I mean, I don't have the time. I mean –"

"Baka-same." They both turned and saw Mizuki standing in the doorway, already dressed for bed.

"Shouldn't you be in bed already?" Kisame asked, trying to ignore the insult. Mizuki rolled his eyes at the shark's answer before he padded his way over to Itachi and asked,

"Can you tuck me in?"

"What the..? You've never needed tucking in before, why are you bothering him?" Kisame gritted out, Itachi gently smiling,

"It's okay," Before picking the otter-demon up, "I don't mind."

* * *

><p>Itachi had tucked the small demon into his large bed before sitting down beside him and smiling,<p>

"It was really nice to spend this evening with you, Mizuki-kun. I hope we can all find the time to do it again sometime." Mizuki was quiet, his eyes calmly looking up at the beautiful brunette above him. Suddenly, he held out his hands; Itachi thinking that he needed something. "Yes?"

You can imagine his surprise when Mizuki hugged him and whispered, "Good night… Okaa-san." Itachi blinked in confusion. Did Mizuki just call him… 'Mother'? Before he could ask, the otter-demon hid under his covers to give the illusion of sleep. Though he was still confused, Itachi gave the small lump underneath the covers a soft pat before walking out and gently closing the door.

Outside the room, Itachi stopped for a moment. What Mizuki had said didn't make sense, Kisame was already married, that's how Mizuki came along in the first place…

Right?

But it was strange, that whole evening there had been no indication of someone else living there with the two, and they were all alone at dinner too.

The weasel-demon shook his head, about to say good night to Kisame before going back home when Kisame's voice called over, "Itachi." Said brunette looked down the hall and saw Kisame walking over with a jar in his hands, "Thanks for tucking him in. I don't know why he felt the need to bother you tonight though."

"It wasn't a bother at all," Itachi shook his head, "He's a sweet child; he reminds me of when Sasuke was younger." Kisame scoffed,

"Sweet to _you_ maybe…" But he remembered himself and stated, "Oh yeah, I found that burn ointment that I was talking about! It's a bit strong, so you should only need a tiny bit of it." Itachi looked at the jar before asking,

"Does it come with any instructions or…" He trailed off as Kisame started laughing,

"Maybe I should just help you out. Come on, my bedroom's on the third floor." Itachi was about to follow the shark when his mind shouted,

'_Wait, what? Bedroom?'_

* * *

><p>"Kisame," Itachi spoke just as he walked in through the bedroom door, "Maybe I should just… get…" He trailed off as he saw the splendor of the shark's sleeping quarters. Everything was composed of silk, seashell, or some kind of ceramic and it was done in shades of black and blue.<p>

"Just get seated on the bed while I find a towel." Kisame called out from the attached bathroom. The brunette slowly sat, eyes going wide at the incredibly soft feel of the bed before Kisame came out and sat beside him. "So, can I unwrap these?" He asked, referring to the bandages.

"Oh, sure." Itachi nodded, flinching a bit as Kisame slowly unwrapped the bandages that covered his still raw skin.

"Sorry, sorry…" Kisame whispered, "I'll make it better, I promise." With that, he opened the jar, the smell of sea-salt and mint rising up before he took a finger-ful of the ointment and began to gently rub it over the brunette's shoulder. "Better yet?" Itachi found himself relaxing under the shark's ministrations, nodding his response. "Good. Now let me get your arm there…"

They sat in relative silence as Kisame worked, Itachi noticing that the ointment really did work wonders; his burns were virtually disappearing with every rub and caress. Maybe it was the sensation of rough skin against smooth, but Itachi was feeling so comfortable that he could stay there all night…

"Wait, stop!" Itachi cried out, taking his arm away.

"Did I hurt you?" Kisame asked in a panic, Itachi replying,

"No, this whole night has been great but I should get going before, you know…" Kisame had a confused expression on his face, Itachi having to turn away because it was too cute (like a lost puppy or something) before he added, "Before your wife comes home?"

"Wife?" Kisame blinked, before shaking his head, "The only people who have ever lived in this house are me, Mizuki, and Naruto. I've _never_ been married!" Itachi gulped, feeling embarrassment rising up,

"But, Hidan and Deidara… They said that—"

"Of course!" Kisame threw his hands up in the air, "Leave it to the cat and the bird to start spreading rumors about things they know _nothing_ about. Look," He sighed, "Mizuki _is_ my son, I will not deny that, but he's not my blood."

"I don't understand…" Itachi shook his head, Kisame chuckling,

"I remember that faithful day a year and a half ago…"

* * *

><p>'<em>I had been having swimming practice, completely ignoring the storm that was churning the oceans that evening…' Kisame swam through the rolling waters, laughing as he dodged debris and creatures that were being caught in the vicious current. <em>

_He had been out for an hour when he decided to swim back to his house. But his ears caught a peculiar noise from the water's surface. He broke through the splashing waves with a deep breath, looking around for the source of the noise. _

_He could hardly believe his eyes when he saw it. _

_A small toddler was desperately trying to keep his body on top of a piece of driftwood, pathetically yowling out for help. When he didn't notice anything but crashing waves around, Kisame ventured closer and closer until he finally floated in front of the demon-child. "Hey." He asked, "You okay? Where are your parents?" _

_The child with the blue and black hair glared at him as if calling him an idiot before Kisame chuckled and asked, "Are you alone here?" The otter-demon frowned but he nodded, Kisame returning the gesture before he stated, "You know, the middle of a storm is a bad place for little demons. You should get somewhere where it's warm and calm." Finally, after Kisame had talked for a while, the otter-demon child narrowed his wide, dark eyes and calmly spoke, _

"_Unless you're offering, go away."_

"_You're rude!" Kisame frowned but he shook it off, picking the otter-demon up from the driftwood and saying, "With your attitude, I shouldn't, but I'm not cruel." _

"_Let go!" The otter-demon growled, writhing in Kisame's arms before actually biting the older demon. Kisame's eye twitched, not because of pain (his skin was too thick for that), but because of how the child was acting. He sighed, _

"_Look. You need a place to stay until I can find your parents and I'm not leaving you out here to die, okay?" The child glared at the shark, eventually letting himself be carried underneath the waves. After a moment of swimming, he muttered, _

"_Mizuki." _

"_Hm?" _

"_My name… Baka-same."_

"_Hey!"_

* * *

><p>Itachi was speechless. Kisame always found more and more ways to surprise him. "So, Mizuki's parents…"<p>

"I've looked for them all over but I haven't found hide or hair of them. But it's fine," The bluenette stood and stretched out his limbs before wiping the excess ointment on a towel. "I make more than enough money on water-watch to take care of him _and_ support Naruto, and not to mention my monthly allowance from my parents. So we're fine." His smiled waned, however, when he thought, "But the one thing I may not be able to give him too much of is my time."

"I could, I mean…" Itachi had opened his mouth without thinking, "Mizuki really seems to like the library back in town. If you need someone to watch him, the library is never that busy, so I could probably – Huh?" He gasped as Kisame brought him into a powerful bear-hug.

"You mean it? That would be great, he really needs to get out of his shell and meet more people too so this is awesome!" He let the weasel-demon go and asked, "Hey, you okay?", when the other had passed out with a powerful blush on his face.

* * *

><p>"Sorry for passing out on you," Itachi spoke as he swam with Kisame back to the shore, "I guess that wine must have gotten to me." <em>'Yes, Itachi, blame it on the wine…'<em>

"It's fine." Kisame replied. Sooner than they thought, they had reached the beach; Itachi shaking his hair of excess water. "You know, you should come over again sometime. That house is _always_ so empty, even _with_ people in it." Itachi thought for a moment before he agreed,

"I'd like that."

"Great! So, did you need someone to walk you home or…"

"No, I'm fine!" Itachi waved his hands, not wanting another chance to embarrass himself in front of Kisame, "Besides, Sasuke's been by himself all evening and you should probably get back to Mizuki."

"Fine." Kisame sighed before jumping back into the water with a call of, "Same time next week?" Itachi waved, whispering,

"It's a date." And when Kisame was gone, Itachi began his walk home.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**( 1 ) Non-water demons need a way to breathe underwater too, you know? And this is going to be really important for a much later update.**

**See? What did I say? Crap, pure and utter. I hope I can get the hang of these mini-chapters before the next one comes around. But just to thank everyone who managed to make it through this horrible display, I'm doing a double-update this week! Yay… **

**So read on please! And don't forget to review! I needs them! Like the song 'Scissorhands' said, 'Give me love'! God, I'm so random! **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	18. The Wild, Wild West Part 1

**A/N: Whoo, I have a good feeling about this update! I won't bog you down with too much blab, but I did enjoy writing this one out. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Hetalia, or MLP: FiM.**

**Let's read…**

* * *

><p>In the dry, sandy desert-region in the world, much farther inland than Adamant Falls, a train was chugging and whistling away on a trail of freshly laid tracks. A demon in the first car of the train kept it moving by occasionally shoveling coal into the engine and then breathing fire into it, the train whistling from the source of new energy.<p>

Six carts down, in a private, luxury cart, we can see stitch-demon Kakuzu through the window, reading out from a storybook, "And the tree looked upon the freshly grown forest and thought with a heart full of pride, 'My children… I'll never be lonesome again as long as they're with me like this'. And so, from that day forward, the forest of trees of all the fruits of the rainbow happily lived together in that beautiful lush forest forever after. The end." He yawned a bit, carefully tucking the listener into bed when the door slammed open, revealing a pouty Deidara.

"Kakuzu! Were you honestly reading a bed-time story… To an apple tree?" Kakuzu jerked, standing in front of the large tree with red, green-swirled apples that was lying in the bed of the private cart.

"Well…" Kakuzu cleared his throat before saying, "Not that I have to explain myself to you, but yes! Being planted so far away from home is very upsetting for a tree! Besides," He rushed and nuzzled his cheek into the trees branches, "This little baby is my newest creation: a hybrid between apple and catnip plants. And when we get to Nyanopolis he's going to make me so much money~! Yes you are!" Deidara raised a thin eyebrow before fuming,

"No far, un! You and that _tree_ get a private, high-quality sleeper-cart while _I_ am stuck in the common carts with all the other demons! How am I supposed to get my beauty sleep, un?" Kakuzu shook his head,

"Sorry, this baby's the reason we're even making this trip. I want Hidan's cousin Hidako to sell him to the highest bidder in Nyanopolis." Deidara narrowed his eyes, chirping angrily,

"You talk about it like it's your baby or something, un…"

"Who are _you_ calling a baby?" Kakuzu shouted incredulously, rushing back to the tree's side, "This tree is _no_ baby! It's okay," He petted the tree's branches, proceeding to talk in baby talk, "Don't let widdle Deidawa's words hurt you. You're a big, strong tree aren't you? Yes you are!" Deidara stood there in disbelief for a few more minutes before he whined,

"It's widdle Deidawa who's all saddy-waddy! Hmph!", walking out and slamming the door.

* * *

><p>Later that evening on the train, all the demons in the group (which included Kisame, Itachi, Sasuke, Naruto, Hidan, Sasori, Deidara, Zetsu, Tobi, <em>and<em>… Ivan) were laughing and talking over light snack and drinks. Although Deidara was desperately trying to go to sleep, muttering, "Why are they so fucking loud..? It's three in the morning, un!" Before he covered his head with his pillow in an attempt to cut out the noise. Sasuke growled in his bed as well before uncovering himself and asking,

"Look, I know we're happy to be going to Nyanopolis, not just to visit Hidan's family, not just for Kakuzu to sell his tree, but mostly because Ivan is finally picking up his bride… But Tobi woke me up at four this morning just so I could make those snacks! I'm exhausted!"

"Speaking of which," Kisame began, shaking his bag of popcorn, "Some of these kernels are a bit unpopped." Sasuke grinded his teeth in fury for a second before he sighed, a devious smile growing on his face,

"Fine."

Kisame had to duck as a large rush of blue fire incinerated his popcorn, leaving only one kernel to pop up into his face. "Good night!" Sasuke growled, covering himself with the sheets again.

"Um…" Naruto gulped at the dragon's behavior, "Maybe we should all get some sleep?"

"He's right," Itachi nodded, "We have a big day ahead us tomorrow." He snapped his fingers, the lights in the cart going off. Sasuke gave a content growl as he began to softly snore as he slept. But soon Kisame whispered,

"Hey, Ivan? Are you asleep yet?"

"Nyet," The Baba Yaga replied, "Much too excited."

"Ooh!" Tobi piped up, "What are we talking about?" Kisame and Ivan chuckled for a bit before the bluenette lit a candle and asked,

"Hey, do you think that Kakuzu's going to make us carry that tree all the way to the orchard?"

"What tree?" Tobi blinked, "You mean Mr. Stripes?" Kisame sighed, sarcasm in his voice,

"_No…_ I meant Zetsu."

"Zetsu's not a… tree…" Sasori muttered, still asleep just as Itachi walked over and asked,

"What's going on?"

"Kisame thinks Zetsu-san's a tree!" Tobi pouted, Ivan protesting in his friend's defense,

"He thinks no such thing!" Itachi was confused, so he asked,

"Did he _say_ that he was a tree?"

"No, well, yes, but…" Kisame scratched his head, "Not exactly—"

"Because you know he's _not_ a tree, right?" Itachi interrupted, Tobi nodding,

"He's not a tree you guys!" Zetsu sat up from bed and smiled,

"There are times when I think that I'd like to be a tree."

"Oh my gods!" Sasuke gritted out, taking his pillow and storming out of the cart; a heavy slam indicating that he had left. Itachi could only shake his head,

"That was kind of huffy."

"Huff the Magic Dragon!" Hidan joked, the demons all laughing before Deidara's voice seethed,

"Would you all _please_…" They all looked over and saw Deidara's face covered in off-colored muck, his hair up in rollers and presenting an off-putting sight due to the minimal light, "SHUT UP!" Itachi yelped and quickly blew the candle out, covering the room in darkness once more.

* * *

><p>"Oi," Sasuke whispered as he walked into the private cart where Kakuzu was sleeping, "Kakuzu?" The stitch-demon was out like a light, "Stripes?" The tree, of course, didn't respond, "Sorry about this," Sasuke smiled as he settled into the tree's bed, "I tend to snore. But if you can deal with that, I can probably deal with your," He snickered, "Morning wood! Oh, good night." And with that, he was snoring away.<p>

* * *

><p>The sun rose brilliantly the next morning, the train still rumbling along its merry way. Kisame was snoring in his bed in the train when a sudden quake knocked him out, the shark-demon growling as he rubbed his head, "The hell?" The shaking had woken everyone else up as well, and Kakuzu had rushed out of the private cart to see what the heck was causing all the movement. Everyone moved to the largest window to look outside and gasped in awe at what they were seeing.<p>

A large group of figures, male and female, young and old, dressed in intricate clothing made from buffalo-hides and eagle-feathers and turquoise-beading. They were all running along both sides of the train, keeping up an excellent speed. Ivan's eyes widened slightly as he whispered, "Trickster Spirits **( 1 )**…"

"I am loving their accessories!" Sasori smiled, "The simple elegance of desert nature at its best!" Itachi gulped as he noticed,

"They're getting pretty close to the train…" Just then, a few of the Trickster Spirits shifted their forms into that of buffalo before slamming their new bodies against the train, knocking around the travelers within.

While everyone else was screaming and yelling in a panic, Sasuke was snoring away in the private cart even as the movements caused the bed he was in to move side to side.

Naruto got his bearings and tried to get a hold of what was going on, just to jump back in fear when he saw that some more of the Trickster Spirits had shifted into the shapes of various desert birds who were scratching their talons against the windows.

"Hey!" The train-conductor called out as he looked out and saw the birds attacking his train, "I don't suppose you're going to pay for that!" He growled before exhaling a rush of flame that caused the birds to retreat.

Inside, Tobi smiled as he bounced over to a window and cheered, "Ooh look, now they're doing tricks!" Everyone got closer and saw that the buffalo were climbing on top of one another, forming a type of moving tower. When it was high enough, a young man with short, blonde hair (a lick of it curling up) ran after it. He only wore tan, leather pants decorated in all sorts of designs and two eagle-feathers in his hair, along with an old pair of glasses resting on his nose. He quickly jumped up onto the buffalo tower and climbed until he was at the top, carefully keeping his balance as the tower got closer to the train. "Tee-hee," Tobi clapped his hands, "Now do a back-flip!" But Ivan wasn't enjoying the display, he shook his head and could only whisper,

"Alfred?" The blonde narrowed his eyes before he jumped onto the roof of the train, Tobi pouting,

"Or you could just jump." It was then he looked around and asked, "Hey, where's Kisame?"

* * *

><p>On the roof of the train, the blonde had started running like the wind towards the private cart, but a call of, "Hey, where are you going in such a hurry?", caused him to gulp when he saw Kisame climbing out of one of the train's compartments. But the blonde gritted his teeth before he shifted into the form of a buffalo and charged forward, causing Kisame to have to move to the side. "Hey!" The shark growled running after him and jumping just a few feet ahead, "I just want to talk here!"<p>

The blonde shifted back to his normal form and slid right between Kisame's legs before running some more. Kisame gritted out once more before he rushed down the train and stopped a while's ahead of the blonde again, "Listen to me when I'm talking to you, damn –" The blonde jumped high in the air above Kisame, his tan skin glistening with sweat in the sunlight before his body shifted into that of a proud, mighty eagle; flying all the way to the private-cart.

"Whoa." Kisame's eyes were wide at this creature's speed and power, his blood accepting the challenge as he rushed down the train to catch up. The eagle seemed to smirk just before he stopped in mid-air. "What are you-?" Kisame wanted to ask but abruptly found himself acquainted with a signpost, knocking him off the train. The eagle rolled his eyes before shifting into a coyote with shimmering, blonde fur. The dog-like creature bit through the chains connecting the private cart to the rest of the train before changing back into normal form and whistling out to the other Trickster Spirits. They all heard the signal and slowed their pace until they were near the private cart, all of them using their strength to pull it away.

"NO!" Kakuzu screamed, rushing to the back open door of the train, "They've got my tree!" Just then, Naruto looked outside of the door and gasped when he saw a familiar dragon inside the cart yelling for help,

"And Sasuke!"

* * *

><p>Kisame was groaning in pain from his collision just as the cart passed by, all the Trickster Spirits pulling it along.<p>

"HELP!" He heard Sasuke's voice yell before he growled,

"A bunch of dragon-nappers, huh? I'll show the—Ow!" He hissed, holding his head.

* * *

><p>The train finally pulled into a rustic train-depot that sat in the middle of a rustic, desert-town decorated with symbols of fruits and cats all over. As soon as the train stopped, Kakuzu forced everyone out, yelling, "Come on, we have to go get –" They were stopped by the figure of a young albino cat-demon. She looked almost like a female Hidan, to tell the truth: her long white hair was up in a high pony-tail, she was dressed in a red, western-styled dress, her fluffy, white tail swishing back and forth behind her, and her fluffy cat-ears were up high as she stood on her tippy-toes and beamed, "Hi there! I bid you welcome to," She struck a pose where she scratched at one of her ears, much like a cat, and exclaimed, "Nyanopolis~!"<p>

Hidan shook his head, "Hidako, listen up, we—"

"Cousin Hidan," She pouted, "Where are your manners? You haven't even introduced me to your friends!" Just as Hidan was about to begin the introductions, Kakuzu jumped in with a panicked,

"Hidako, this is an emergency! We—"

"Damn straight it's an emergency!" Hidako nodded, "Your train came in seven minutes late! That's seven minutes less of the wonders and delights of," She scratched her ear and beamed, "Nyanopolis~!" And without so much as another word, Hidako began to shove everyone into a break-neck tour of the down-to-earth western town, composed of tumbleweeds and wooden buildings.

She stopped pushing when they got to the center of town where a large, cat-decorated clock-tower stood, "Boggles the mind that we settler-demons built all of this in just the past year, huh? And as you can see, we have nothing but the best! Like demon-horse drawn carriages!" Everyone looked and saw a white stallion pulling a carriage along. After a few moments, they shifted into a normal form and stated, "Okay, your turn." Out of the window, another horse-demon popped out his head and huffed,

"We just switched!"

"And over there," Hidako explained, pulling everyone over, "We have horse-demon drawn demon-horse drawn carriages!" They saw a bunch of art students standing beside a carriage, skillfully drawing it on paper. Kakuzu shook his head and spoke up,

"Hidako, we—Ack!" Hidako shoved them all towards what looked like an old-school saloon.

"Here's our local hang-out spot, _La Crème Fraise_!" Just then, there was a shout of,

"You've had enough, hentai!", before an older toad-demon with long, white spiky hair was tossed out of the bar; a drunken blush on his face. Hidako shoved everyone down a building before announcing,

"Here's the office of Sheriff Neji Hyuuga," As she spoke, a long-haired brunette with pale eyes and the ears of a panther walked out of the building to get a bit of fresh air. Hidako shoved everyone some more and showed them, "Here we have our wild west _and_ our mild west dances," There were a group of cat-demons dancing, some more into it than others. Kakuzu sighed before trying to say,

"Hidako, we really need to-!" She shoved them all the way to the outskirts of town, smiling as she stated,

"And _this_ is the most wonderful sight in all of," She scratched at her ear, "Nyanopolis~! Our beautiful farmland." Everyone looked at the sprawling orchards and vineyards that stretched for miles around, divided only by an elegant river.

"Hidako –" Hidan began.

"The first harvest should be any day, nya!"

"Hidako…" Kakuzu gritted out.

"Good thing too!"

"Hida—"

"Because we need that food to live on and –"

"HIDAKO!" Kakuzu roared out, said cat-demon nodding,

"Yes Kakuzu?" The brunette panted a bit from his outburst and sighed,

"You have a very nice town and all, but now we have a massive problem on our hands! Some of my friends are missing!"

"A swarm of Trickster Spirits attacked our train!" Zetsu stated, Deidara nodding,

"And they kidnapped Itachi's brother!"

"Kisame went after him –" Itachi added, but Zetsu gasped as he realized,

"And now Tobi's gone too!"

"And worst of all," Kakuzu sniffled (he actually sniffled?), "They took my cat-nipple tree!"

_Record-scratch_.

Hidan and Hidako could only glare at Kakuzu, the first one asking, "What did you just say?"

"The tree," Kakuzu offered, "It needs a name." Hidako shook her head,

"Well you can't call it _that_!"

"Why not?" Kakuzu asked in disbelief, "A revolutionary tree that's half apple and half cat-nip! Cat-nipple, it's a wonderful name for – Oh… Now I see what you mean." Kakuzu deadpanned as it finally clicked in his head. After a moment, Hidako looked down at her feet as she asked,

"Did you say… Trickster Spirits?" When everyone nodded, she sighed and looked out onto the farmland, "Damn Tricksters… They want us settler-demons to remove all of our homes and farms off of this land. I can see that they wouldn't want any more moving in."

"But why?" Zetsu asked, Ivan speaking up,

"I am having interesting theory about that –"

"Beats me!" Hidako interrupted, "We settlers have worked so hard on this land so we can house ourselves and feed our children! Now they want us to just go? It's not fair!" The majority of the group seemed to feel sympathy for the cat-demoness's plight. All except for Ivan, the Baba Yaga's eyes glaring out at the farmland.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, in the desert surrounding Nyanopolis, Kisame was quietly sneaking around the large stones that littered the land. "Grr… When I get my hands on that blonde Trickster Spirit – Ow!" He gritted, hiding behind a rock when the stinging in his head kicked up again, "No one pulls the wool over <em>my<em> eyes and gets away with it." He slowly began to walk again, suddenly meeting up with wide, familiar eyes.

"Hi!"

"Fuck!" Kisame jolted back nearly a foot before gritting out, "Tobi? What are you doing here?"

"Trying to see if Tobi could trick you!" The joy-demon smiled, "Guess I didn't get away with it either…" Kisame could only shake his head as he ordered,

"Tobi, get back to Nyanopolis!"

"Why?"

"You're going to blow my cover!"

"Why?"

"I'm trying to save Sasuke!" Kisame snapped back, Tobi glomping Kisame's back and cheering,

"Tobi too!" Kisame yelled, ripping Tobi off of his back so they could face each other (not noticing the growing clouds of smoke around them),

"If we keep making all this noise, we're going to get…" Kisame's nose twitched, looking around to see a group of furious-looking buffalo surrounding them, "Caught." The bluenette could only hold out his sword, whispering, "Get out of here Tobi, I'll distract them." The buffalo all began to charge at the two demons, murder in their eyes –

"Stop!" They all stopped, shifting into their normal forms before clearing a walkway to reveal, "Kisame, Tobi! What's up?" It was Sasuke, looking happy, safe, even refreshed as he was now dressed in a cloak made of midnight-blue dyed leather (even engraved with sapphire designs). "Don't worry," The young dragon told one of the Tricksters, "I know them."

"If you say so Sasuke," They replied, giving the navy-bluenette a high-five, "Later bro!" And with that, they all ran off back to their homes.

* * *

><p>"Seems they took me by mistake," Sasuke explained later that evening as he, Kisame, and Itachi were sitting in the middle of the Trickster Spirit settlement, "They feel awful about it too." The dragon and the two demons sat around a fire pit, surrounded by Tricksters who were just trying to live their lives, cooking, cleaning, and trading amongst themselves.<p>

Sasuke himself had been treated to a reception that could only have been called 'five-star' (manicure, hot-spring, food). "Luckily," The dragon began, snapping his fingers, "They have a wonderful reverence for dragons." Two female Trickster Spirits huffed as they served Kisame and Tobi bowls of what seemed to be mashed corn and smoked meat. "Still not too fond of demons though." Kisame took the bowl, trying to be polite, but wasn't sure if he could eat the strange-looking food.

"Look, I think we should just get back to Nyanopolis and…" He was cut off by the sound of messy eating. He turned and saw Tobi, a complete mess, happily eating.

"Leave before we finish eating?" He asked, eyes wide, "Are you crazy? This is delicious, Tobi has to ask for the recipe!" Kisame raised an eyebrow before sitting back down, deciding to at least give the food a chance. He tried a few fingers worth, not noticing the young blonde Trickster carefully padding over in dusty bare feet with a bowl of gems in his hands. Tobi looked up, face covered in food as he asked, "Can Tobi please have more of the mushy stuff? Whatever it was?"

"Of course!" The blonde smiled a dazzling smiled before adjusting his glasses and presenting the bowl to Sasuke, a marking of an eagle surrounded by stars on his hand, "And you, Blue Sky-Fire, you would like more gem-stones, yes?" Sasuke had to look at his new cloak, the blue sky and fire designs signaling that the blonde was indeed referring to him. He happily took the bowl, cheering,

"Turquoise? Fuck yes!" He shoveled a few of the greenish stones down, chomping happily before he introduced the blonde, "This is Freedom-Crying Eagle." The blonde chuckled,

"But some people call me Alfred! A pleasure to meet ya…" Sasuke laughed before indicating,

"This is Tobi and Kisame." Kisame had actually enjoyed half of his meal before he looked up at his name being called and growled,

"_You!_"

"You?" Alfred gulped, Kisame not even bothering to draw his sword but grabbing Tobi and gritting out,

"We are out of here!"

"Wait!" Alfred rushed over and begged, "Please accept my apologies for what happened earlier! No one was supposed to get hurt!"

"Uh-huh." Kisame rolled his eyes, Alfred continuing,

"We only wanted the tree! The settler-demons have overtaken everything and started a whole farm! Their thoughtlessness has made it impossible for us to get to our ancient ceremonial grounds!"

"Huh?" Tobi asked, scratching his head. Sasuke sighed,

"I think it's time that they met Grandmother Spider and Grandfather Flat-tail."

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><p><strong>AN: **

**( 1 ) – I love folk-tales from all over the world, I really do. In Native American culture, especially those tribes who lived in the mid-western regions, Trickster Spirits (basically beings who could shift shape, thus **_**tricking**_** others) are a common element in their stories. **

**Please review. **

**-Tyranno's girl**


	19. The Wild, Wild West Part 2

Kisame and Tobi found themselves in a simple wooden-house at the head of the settlement. They stood in front of two figures: one, a woman with sun-tanned skin, long, dark hair decorated with feathers, spider-silk ties, and turquoise beads (the hair having a curl identical to a certain blonde), and fierce, dark brown eyes. The other figure was a man with dark, wavy hair (a double-curl poking to the side) and skin just a few shades lighter than the woman's. He was dressed in furs and thicker leathers (used to the colder climates of his homeland) **( 1 )**.

Kisame bowed, not allowing his anger to mar his manners, but he spoke, "So you two are the leaders of the Trickster Spirits: Grandmother Spider and Grandfather Flat-tail?" Spider nodded,

"The 'Grandmother' is just a title, I am Freedom-Crying Eagle's mother as Flat-tail is his father." Tobi asked,

"You mean Alfred?" Immediately, Grandmother Spider shifted into the form of a massive, shimmering spider. She could have been called beautiful if she wasn't yelling,

"NO! THAT IS HIS HORRIBLE PALE-FACE NAME!" Grandfather Flat-tail patted his wife's shoulder, getting her to calm down as he explained,

"Sorry about that. Ever since Freedom-Crying Eagle got married, any mention of his pale-face name reminds Spider that he'll be leaving soon just like his baby brother Dances in Snow did." Spider sighed as she sat back down, wiping a tear from her eyes,

"It isn't fair…" But she quickly got her regal composure back and started, "As creatures of these vast lands, children of the great Sky-Mother…"

"You guys know her as 'Amaterasu'." Alfred explained before his mother added,

"We have lived in these lands for ages, once a year giving thanks to nature in a holy ritual at our ceremonial grounds. My mother did it, just as _her_ mother did it, just as _her_ mother did it…" She kept on _and_ on, some of the other Trickster Spirits actually falling asleep because of her rambling until Flat-tail tapped her shoulder,

"I think they get the point."

"Yes," Spider nodded, "It is a sacred right that we are supposed to perform every year. But this year, these settler-demons, these…" She gritted her teeth as they slowly formed into fangs out of anger, "_Nyanopolans..!_" Alfred walked over and calmed her down before she would blow a gasket.

"They've taken the land and built their strange houses all over it, choking the land with their foreign crops without even asking our permission!" Tobi frowned,

"That's not very nice," He turned to Kisame, "Is it Kisame?" Kisame was quiet, his dark eyes looking into the flames of the fire-pit as he listened on, Alfred continuing,

"Those cat-demons refuse to move their trees! So we're stuck here, it's not fair!" It was quiet for a moment after the blonde Trickster's outburst. All eyes were on Kisame, the shark demon quickly drawing his sword, Spider and Flat-tail gasping and expecting the worse. But Kisame only stuck the sword in the ground, stating,

"The Nyanopolans had no right to do this. Come on, if I can't help you out with this, then I'll help you fight against this injustice." Alfred and his father were a bit unsure, but Spider took a look at the shark-demon's obvious strength before she beamed,

"Thank you!", rushing over to shake his hand.

* * *

><p>The sun rolled over the outskirts of Nyanopolis, the remaining demons led by Kakuzu, Hidan, and Hidako were getting ready to venture into the deserts to find their friends. Kakuzu was the most anxious out of all of them as he tightened Sasori's travel bag to the red-head's back, the scorpion-demon hissing out,<p>

"Gently please!"

"No time!" The brunette barked out, "I have to get my tree back!" Hidan rolled his eyes, explaining,

"And our friends are out there, so we have to get ready for a long hike into Trickster territory to try and save them!"

"Among doing other things…" Ivan whispered to himself, but the sound not missing Itachi's ears. Before anything else could be said, Hidako yelled,

"Let's go, Nya!" They all began their trip but not even four steps in, they stopped when they saw Kisame, Sasuke, and Tobi walking towards the town. They were all clad in new clothes, courtesy of the Trickster Spirits, Kisame's being the most elegant (maybe because Grandmother Spider was trying to curb his favor in case a fight broke out) a deep, ocean-blue cloak encrusted with blue and black gemstones. Tobi smiled, waving one of his arms that was covered in the sleeve of a sunset-orange dress,

"Hi guys! Hi Zetsu-san!"

"Tobi!" The plant-demon cried out, glomping the joy-demon to the ground in sheer relief. "Thank goodness you're okay, I was so worried!" Everyone rushed over, happy to see the three back again. After Itachi had made sure that not a hair was missing for Sasuke's head, he asked Kisame,

"How did you escape from the Trickster Spirits? And…"

"What's with the new clothes, un?" Deidara asked, Sasori huffing,

"Wouldn't have killed them to do a little shopping for _us_ while they were at it." Kisame chuckled,

"Escape? Why? Those Trickster Spirits are awesome!"

"Mm-hm!" Tobi nodded before pointing out to a nearby rock, "And Ivan, we brought a surprise for you!" After a second, Alfred jumped out from behind the rock, waving a quick,

"Hey."

"Dorogoy!" Ivan shouted, rushing over to take the blonde into his arms, "I have not seen you in ages!"

"Man," Alfred tried to escape the large Baba Yaga's over-affection, "It hasn't even been a year!" But Ivan wasn't hearing it, he quickly turned and announced,

"Everyone, this is Alfred, my bride and –"

"You still telling people that?" Alfred shoved Ivan away, "Husband! This is an equal relationship, you frigid bastard!"

"Anyway…" Kisame coughed out, drawing everyone's attention away from the loving couple, "We brought Freedom-Crying Eagle, that's his original name, here so the Trickster Spirits and the cat-demons could have a chance to talk."

"Really?" Kakuzu raised a skeptical eyebrow, Hidan frowning,

"About what?" Kisame pushed Ivan and Alfred further into the group, explaining,

"Oh, just how they need to move their buildings and farms off of Trickster Spirit land, no biggie." Hidako gave a nervous smile as she spoke,

"Well, that information could prove to be pretty help—"

"Bullshit!" Hidan hissed, "My cousin Hidako here wants to explain why the farms and buildings should _stay_!" Alfred chuckled,

"I'm willing to hear both si—"

"The land is _theirs_ Hidan!" Kisame growled, quickly cooling down as he calmly said, "Look, you set up shop here without knowing, easy mistake. Now you just need to move everything, no big deal!" Hidako frowned a bit,

"Well…"

"They busted their asses here!" Hidan yowled, "Now they should just move everything because some stubborn-ass Trickster Spirits won't find another place to do their stupid rituals?" Ivan decided to cease his silence,

"Settle down somewhere else!"

"Where?" Hidan screamed, "It's the only plant-land for miles!"

"The Trickster Spirits had it first!" Kisame roared, Hidan snapping back,

"The settler-demons need it to live!" That caused the three demons to lash out into a full-blown argument, Alfred and Hidako only sitting in the background as they did all the fighting. After a moment, Itachi had to yell,

"Look!" Everyone stopped as the weasel spoke, "Both the settlers _and_ the Tricksters have a good reason to use this land. There has to be a way to settle this peacefully and fairly."

"Ooh!" Tobi jumped up, "Tobi has an idea!"

* * *

><p>Within a few hours, Tobi had corralled everyone, settler and Trickster, into the main part of town where a stage had been set up. They were all confused as to what was going on, but Grandmother Spider and Sheriff Neji were merely glaring at each other before the sounds of a piano and a banjo could be heard. Looking up on stage, they saw Sasuke sitting at an old piano and Naruto sitting on top of it playing along on a banjo.<p>

Tobi peeked his head out, the flashy headdress of a call-girl on his head as he made sure that everything was set up. He went back behind stage just as the curtains pulled apart, revealing a slowly opening pumpkin that held Tobi dressed in a black and orange call-girl outfit, complete with stockings, feathers, and sparkles. He batted those shiny, wide eyes of his towards the stage before, you guessed it, singing,

"_We may be divided,_

_But we can all agree…"_

Everyone had their own reactions to the presentation so far, all of them negative (Like Itachi's eyebrow twitching, Kisame shaking his head, Alfred desperately trying to plug his ears, and Spider and Neji looking like they were ready to kill somebody),

"_That this land is special, _

_For you and for me…"_ Then two cat-demons helped the joy-demon out of his pumpkin before he began to bounce around and sing,

"_No matter what the issue! _

_Come from wherever you please! _

_All this fighting gets you nothing,"_ He actually jumped down from stage and pulled a Trickster Spirit's mouth into a wide smile,

"_But open-mouth disease!"_ He rushed back up on stage,

"_Arguing's not the way! _

_Hey, come on and play!_

_It's a shiny new day, _

_So come on, what do you say?"_ Rushing to center stage, he danced and sang out,

"_You gotta share~! _

_You gotta care~! _

_It's the right thing to do!"_

"What the fuck is this?" Everyone around shouted in disbelief at what they were witnessing. Tobi just kept on,

"_You gotta care~! _

_You gotta share~! _

_And you'll always find a way through…_

_All our cultures, we admit, _

_Are foreign and strange to us! _

_We all should have a toast, _

_Why be at each other's throats?"_ Zetsu sincerely looked like he wanted to bury himself in the ground as Tobi concluded,

"_You gotta share~! _

_You gotta care~! _

_And there'll always be a way through~!"_, a spark of fireworks concluded the spectacle, Zetsu giving a few claps out of pity. The town was silent before Grandmother Spider and Neji looked at each other before the Trickster Spirit announced,

"It appears that Sheriff Hyuuga and I have come to an agreement."

"We have." Neji nodded, everyone waiting with baited breath for their realization. Then,

"That was the worst song we have ever heard in our lives." Spider said, Neji nodding,

"Bar none." He quickly took out a notepad of paper and wrote a ticket, handing it to Tobi and stating, "Please. Never sing in my town again or else you'll be acquainted with our local jail."

Grandmother Spider transformed into her spider-form before she yelled out, "Our pilgrimage will start tomorrow at high-noon! And if the farms are still there, we will destroy them all! And all of Nyanopolis!" Everyone gasped in horror, Alfred rushing over and crying,

"Mom, wait, no!"

"Fine!" Neji hissed back, "Bring your worst! If it's a fight you want, then we Nyanopolans will give you one you'll never forget!" And with that, both groups of demons separated to go to their homes to prepare for war, our main group of demons standing there, not knowing what to do.

"Oh…" Tobi whined, slouching down to the ground, "That wasn't the message of Tobi's song at all!"

* * *

><p>Since Kisame, Ivan, Tobi, and Sasuke were somewhat in allegiance with the Trickster Spirits, only Itachi, Naruto, Kakuzu, Zetsu, Sasori, and Deidara were there to watch as all the cat-demons of Nyanopolis prepared for the upcoming battle. They were hammering up their buildings, setting up supplies, and preparing what few weapons they had.<p>

"All I wanted to do was sell my tree," Kakuzu sighed, "And I'm all for the cat-demons having what they need to survive, but at the expense of a war?"

"Maybe we should try and convince them that this is insane!" Naruto shouted, Kakuzu shaking his head,

"Cat-demons are stubborn and prideful, they would die before admitting they were wrong. Remember the thing with Hidan and Goldleaf Farms?" Oh, they all remembered that. Itachi shook his head,

"Well, we just have to try.", before he walked over to where a couple of cat-demons were looking over their house. "Look, if you could just hear the Tricksters out and –"

"Hmph!" They both huffed before going inside, shutting their windows and hammering them up.

"Listen un, about the trees…" Deidara smiled, following a cat-demon who was bringing a cart of produce into the storehouse, "Maybe you could just – Ah!" The cat-demon shut the door in the blonde's face.

* * *

><p>In the farming area, all the trees and plants were being plucked clean of their fruits and vegetables before bringing the produce back to town. Itachi saw how some of the cat-demon children were becoming exhausted from the work and went to ask one of their mothers, "If you could please just think about this—"<p>

Only for her to hiss in his face and get the children working again, Itachi yelling, "Why won't anybody be reasonable about this?"

Trees were cut down, their wood used to build barricades all around the town. Hidako over-saw everything as they built the barrier up to the sky. The group saw Neji directing a few of the produce carts to the cooking house of the city, Kakuzu calling over, "Sheriff, if you could tell them—"

"Get all the produce to my wife at the cooking house!" Neji announced, the cat-demons with the carts doing just that.

The group looked inside the window of the cooking house, seeing Neji's wife Gaara, a raccoon-demon, ordering a large set of cat-demons as they worked around the clock, converting the produce into food not just for nourishment but for use as weapons as well.

Finally, they all came together in the center of town, Neji giving Hidan the honor of raising Nyanopolis's flag high in the air, a symbol of their steadfastness. "Damn it Hidan…" Kakuzu whispered, seeing his wife getting sucked up by all of this.

* * *

><p>In the Trickster Spirit settlement, they were all training for the upcoming battle. Some of them shifted into buffalo-form to practice stampeding, others had flight-practice in the air.<p>

The females were in charge of editing their clothes for the fight, as well as sharpening the heads of their spears and arrows. The children prepared the war-paint to be used on the Trickster Spirits' faces. Seeing all of this, Sasuke asked Alfred, desperation in his voice,

"Isn't there any way to stop this?" Alfred shook his head,

"Unless the settler-demons move their farms… I don't think so…" He gave Sasuke another bowl of turquoise, the dragon eating them half-heartedly, before he went to go find Ivan, desperate for some kind of comfort before tomorrow's battle.

In the chieftain-house, Kisame sat by Grandmother Spider and Grandfather Flat-tail. They had been discussing war-plans, but after a moment, Kisame calmly stated, "We can't do this." Spider shook her head,

"They have stolen our land! What would you have me do, Cobalt Rain-Bringer?" Kisame sighed,

"I don't know. But it's never too late to think of something." Flat-tail took a bowl of war-paint and drew two lines on each of his cheeks,

"By noon tomorrow," He handed the bowl to his wife, "It will be."

* * *

><p>The ground was being scorched by the rays of the broiling sun, as if Amaterasu had gotten closer to the earth just to witness this tragic day. All of the residents of Nyanopolis were standing behind their barriers, waiting for the attack. Itachi, Zetsu, and Naruto were worried sick since the others hadn't come back since last night. But soon, Sasuke landed in the town in dragon-form, Tobi on his back. "Sasuke," Itachi smiled in relief, "Thank the gods!" When Tobi got off of his back, Sasuke shifted before asking,<p>

"Any change on this side?"

"No…" Itachi sighed but then he looked around and gasped, "Where's Kisame?" Sasuke only looked up towards the cliffs, his silence giving Itachi his answer. "Damn it, Kisame…"

The Trickster Spirits slowly arrived on the cliffs over-looking the town. In the center of them, Alfred appeared in the shape of a coyote as his mother was in spider-form and his father took the form of a giant beaver. Kisame and Ivan marched in alongside them, crawling on top of Spider's back when she told them.

Hidan and Hidako were standing by Neji and Gaara, Hidako biting her nails as she nervously watched the clock-tower chime the twelve o'clock hour.

On the cliff, all eight of spider's eyes watched the scene. But then Alfred whined, gently placing a paw on her shoulder. She sighed, her body language showing her change of heart.

"She's not going to do it." Sasuke whispered, a thankful smile growing on his and Itachi's faces. Kisame sighed in relief, as well as Ivan and Flat-tail. All seemed good with the world… Until…

"_You gotta share~! _

_You gotta care~!"_ Everyone looked to the middle of the battlefield to see Tobi dancing and singing the song from yesterday. Zetsu screamed, "Tobi, get out of there!"

When they felt Spider trembling beneath them, Ivan sighed as Kisame shouted, "Damn it, Tobi, why?" But Grandmother Spider shouted,

"ATTACK!", all the Tricksters whooping and storming forward towards the town. Tobi's eyes went wide as he saw all the Tricksters charging towards him, some as buffalo, and others in their normal shapes, but a quick swing of Kakuzu's lasso tugged him out of harm's way just in time.

They charged straight through the barriers as if they were nothing, knocking down the flag-post as they went. Some of them shot arrows, the force behind them piercing flesh and buildings. Neji called back to the townspeople, "Ready… Aim…" They were all holding kunai and various plates of food before the brunette shouted, "Fire!" The ammo was thrown, food splattering onto buffalo faces and causing them to either trip, break ankles, or fall all over themselves. The kunai that were thrown cut through arms and wings. The Tricksters all scattered trying to avoid the onslaught and find cover to reload their weapons.

Some of the cat-demons tried to hide on top of the remaining barriers, just to either be pecked off by eagles or the barriers to be knocked down by buffalo charge.

One of the buffalo had been hit in the face with a pie, but instead of falling, she kept on charging until she accidentally crashed into the clock-tower, the structure crashing down to the ground and taking some cat-demons along with it.

* * *

><p>Amongst all the commotion, Itachi was desperately rushing about to avoid the fighting. When he saw Kisame and Ivan in the midst of the battle, he gritted his teeth and marched over, yelling, "What the hell are you doing? You're supposed to be stopping this war, not helping it!"<p>

"What do you think we're trying to do?" Kisame shouted back, tossing a cat-demon and a Trickster in Ivan's direction, the Baba Yaga encasing them both in ice up to their necks. "We've already gotten the worst of it down, but there's still—" Spider jumped down from the wreckage of the clock-tower, her eight eyes seeing red as she saw Neji throwing food and kunai at her fellow Tricksters. She bore her fangs as she charged towards him, the brunette gulping as he saw the poison dripping from her fangs. He reached down for a kunai or a bowl of soup, just to find that he was out.

"DIE PALE-FACE!" Grandmother Spider yelled as she jumped into the air, intending to land on Neji and end his life. Just then, Gaara jumped up behind the panther-demon and threw an apple pie into Spider's face, the Trickster Spirit Chieftain groaning in pain as she collapsed to the ground.

"MOM!" Alfred shouted, shifting to normal form as his father did the same, screaming,

"SPIDER!" The fighting stopped, everyone watching as the Trickster Spirit's body shifted back into normal-form. Some of those who had been fighting even began to cry at the scene. Sasuke's eyes began to water before he buried his face into Naruto's shoulder, muffling his tears. But Kakuzu could only ask Itachi,

"They do realize it's just a pie, right?" Alfred and Flat-tail rushed to Spider's side just as a piece of the pie slid into her mouth, the blonde shouting,

"You poisoned her! How could you?" But amongst all his yelling, Spider's eyes popped open. She took a finger and wiped some more of the pie off of her cheek before tasting it. "Mom, what are you -?" He was cut off when Spider shoved some of the mess into his mouth, his eyes going wide at the delicious taste.

"Attention everyone!" Spider announced with a smile on her face as she got up, "I've got a better idea!"

* * *

><p>As it had turned out, none of the Trickster Spirits had ever <em>tried<em> any of the produce of the cat-demons because they thought the new, strange fruits and vegetables were poisonous. But now that they knew better, after the injured had been tended to, Neji and Grandmother Spider thought of a new type of treaty to propose.

The cat-demons could be seen cutting down a wide path in the middle of their farmland and when they were done clearing it out, a heavily bandaged Hidan whistled over to Kisame who shouted to the Trickster Spirits, "The coast is clear!" They all cheered as they were able to run free through the path, Grandfather Flat-tail explaining to the Nyanopolans,

"We will allow the farms to stay, in exchange for a share of its fruit, jobs to work, and those… delicious foods that you all produce." The cat-demons were more than happy to agree, giving the traveling Tricksters enough food to have a save journey. Sasuke huffed as they all went, holding a bowl of turquoise,

"I'd rather eat turquoise any day of the week.", before popping one into his mouth.

With a bag of money safely in hand, Kakuzu helped a group of settlers pack his tree into their wagon. "Finally!" The brunette panted from his work when they left, "I was able to sell my tree! And I thought up the perfect name for it!"

"Here we go…" Hidan rolled his eyes. Kakuzu smiled before he held up one of the few striped apples he was able to keep from the tree before it had been sold,

"With these apples, I shall grow a whole new family of cat-napple trees!" But as he held up the apple, a gently breeze blew through the area carrying the scent of the apple towards Hidan and Hidako, as well as a few other cat-demons. Their eyes grew hazy before they all began cuddling up to the brunette, mewing and purring, "Hey, what the hell are you doing? Get off. No, get away!" The stitch-demon began to run, desperately trying to save the few cat-napples he had left, the cat-demons following close behind.

* * *

><p>"Well…" Alfred whispered as he stood in front of his mother and father, holding a bag of his personal belongings, "I guess this is it." Flat-tail nodded before patting his son on the shoulder,<p>

"Be a good wife –"

"I'M NOT THE WIFE HERE!" Alfred screamed. Holding back the tears of losing her oldest son, Spider growled out to Ivan,

"If you hurt him..!" But she calmed herself and sighed, "We will pray for you when we get to the ceremonial grounds. Oh Freedom-Crying Eagle…" She hugged him to her chest, "Never forget where you come from." Alfred sniffed back a tear before he hugged back,

"I won't…"

"Hey!" Kisame called over, "Why can't he have one last run with you guys?" Flat-tail looked to Ivan, asking,

"Would you allow it?"

"I cannot see the harm." Ivan shrugged his shoulders, Alfred laughing as he pulled on Ivan and Kisame's arms, wanting them to join the run as well.

As they sat outside in the farms, Itachi and the others watched Grandmother Spider, Grandfather Flat-tail, Alfred, Ivan, and Kisame all ran through the cool, desert fields. At the same time, Itachi was having Sasuke write a letter to Rokubi. "…And amongst the almost chaos of this battle, the one main thing I've learned is that sometimes we must share, we must care about –"

"Hey!" Tobi shouted, "That's what Tobi said!"

* * *

><p><strong>OMAKE<strong>

"It's freezing!" Alfred shivered as Ivan led him through the winter-section of the Yonko Forests. "How do you expect me to live in a place like this?"

"It is warmer inside the house, trust me." Ivan replied. After they had all come back from Nyanopolis, Ivan still had yet to bring Alfred to his new home. He was currently trying to remedy that.

"And here…" Ivan announced as they came to the familiar clearing, "We are!" Alfred's eyes went wide when he saw Ivan's mansion.

"Here?" He whispered in awe, Ivan coming up behind him and whispering,

"Here.", right into the young Trickster Spirit's ear.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**( 1 ) Yes, Grandmother Spider and Grandfather Flat-tail (the names taken from Native American and Native Canadian Folklore) are basically my Hetalia OCs for Native America and Native Canada respectively. Mostly because, honestly, I know that America and Canada were being raised by **_**somebody**_** before England and France came along. **

**Yayz, another update completed! I hope you guys enjoyed it, **_**please**_** leave feedback! It makes writing all the more worth it. **

**And I **_**hate, hate, hate, hate, HATE**_** to ask this, but if anyone who is a Hetalia fan could check out my story 'Maman' and maybe leave a small word or two, that would be great…**

**Thanks again for reading, love you all! **

**-Tyranno's girl**


	20. My Tobi Sense Is Tingling! Part 1

**A/N: Whoo-hoo! I'm so glad that this story got such a good turn-out last week! I want to thank each and everyone of you from the bottom of my heart... WIth a new update! Yay!**

* * *

><p>In a grassy clearing near the central office of Adamant Falls, Sasuke was helping Itachi train with his chakra and magic. The young dragon stood on a stone with a rock on his head, a wreath of leaves around his neck, holding a stick on his hand.<p>

Itachi gritted his teeth before clasping his hands together in a hand sign, the wreath of leaves turning into a velvet cloak. Sasuke smiled, Itachi returning the gesture before he went back to his concentration. The stick turned into a cane just as the dragon looked away, Itachi calling over, "Sasuke, pay attention! This spell needs both of our full attention to be successful!"

"Sorry." Sasuke muttered, keeping his breathing steady as the rock on his head shifted into a top-hat. A noise from a few feet away stole his attention, the hat turning back into a rock and smacking him in the head.

"Sasuke!"

"Sorry, fuck!" Sasuke gritted out form pain, giving a pointed glare to the left, "It's hardly my fault!" Sasuke had been looking towards a couple of trees where, after a moment, Tobi peeked from behind one. The joy-demon looked around with a wary look in his eyes and a rainbow umbrella hat on his head. After a moment of looking around, he rushed from hiding place to hiding place, Itachi shaking his head,

"Tobi's just being Tobi, as dangerous and random as that is…"

Tobi stopped at a bench when, out of nowhere, his whole body began twitching. "Twitchie-twitchie-twitchie-twitch." He whined, Itachi and Sasuke walking over; the weasel-demon asking,

"Tobi, what's going on with you now?"

"Oh, hi Itachi!" Tobi greeted before explaining, "Tobi's just twitching away, you know what _that_ means!"

"Actually…" Itachi sighed, "No I don't." Tobi pouted, his baby-soft cheeks puffing up before he stated,

"Tobi's senses are telling Tobi that something's going to fall! You should duck for cover!"

"Tobi… It's not going to rain, sleet, or hail. There's not a cloud in the—"

With a loud _smack_, a frog landed on Itachi's face before croaking with a smile. Tobi nodded before he explained, "He just said 'Nice catch' in frog!"

"Oh!" That cry came from Zetsu, the plant-demon walking over with a basket and a wheel-barrow full of frogs. "Sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going. Are you okay Itachi?" When the frog bounced back into the wheel-barrow with all his kin, Itachi nodded. "Good. I just couldn't bear to see all the frogs being over-crowded in the pond, so I decided to relocate a few of them to Dark Water Bog. Oh well, come along my green-skinned friends…" With that, Zetsu walked off. Itachi still had a bit of muck on his cheek from where the frog had landed, so Tobi decided to help,

"Um, Itachi, you have something on your face."

"Oh," Itachi rolled his eyes, "Did your 'Tobi sense' tell you that too?" Tobi shook his head,

"No, silly, Tobi could see it!" Then the joy-demon bounced off, humming to himself as he went.

"Come on Sasuke," Itachi called to his brother, "Let's get back to practice." Sasuke followed along, looking at the sky before he stated,

"Wow, Tobi has a bit of clairvoyance about himself, huh?"

"Coincidence, Sasuke…" Itachi corrected, "Tobi said that something was going to fall from the sky and Zetsu _coincidentally_ happened to trip and drop a frog." Just as Itachi was talking, Tobi rushed back over, crying out,

"Tobi's twitching again! Something else is going to fall!"

"Tobi, please!" Itachi walked on, Sasuke staying put, "Nothing here is going to – _FALL..!"_ Just as he said that, the brunette fell into a ditch. Sasuke rushed over to see if his brother was alright, but he also asked Tobi,

"Is it safe to go help him?" Tobi nodded,

"Yep, Tobi stopped twitching." He tossed his umbrella hat away and hopped away. Sasuke knelt down to give Itachi a hand, chuckling,

"That is awesome, you have to admit." Itachi rolled his eyes,

"Oh please…"

"Itachi?" They both looked over and saw Hidan carrying a basket of eggs and honey to sell, "Why are you hanging out in a ditch?"

"Because Tobi predicted it!" Sasuke explained, Itachi snapping,

"Sasuke! Two coincidences in a row are hardly enough to prove that Tobi's twitching can foretell the future!"

"Twitching?" Hidan gulped, "Tobi?" The cat-demon immediately rushed underneath a cart, keeping a weary eye out towards the sky. Sasuke shook his head,

"It's okay, the prediction already happened." As Itachi finally climbed up from the ditch, he groaned,

"Don't tell me _you_ believe in Tobi Sense too?"

"I know it doesn't make much sense…" Hidan climbed up from his hiding spot, dusting himself off, "But those of us who have been around here for a while know that Tobi's a good indicator of things to come… Despite the fact that he has the IQ of a cupcake at times…" As if hearing his name, Tobi rushed towards the three and yelped,

"Tobi's ears are ringing! They're ringing so much!"

"What does _that_ mean?" Sasuke asked, holding his arms in front of himself protectively. But Tobi looked to Itachi and called out,

"Tobi will start a bath for you!" Itachi shook his head,

"What are you talking abo—" At that moment, a cart was driven by and splashed into a mud puddle, covering Itachi with brown muck.

* * *

><p>Itachi was currently sitting in Tobi's claw-footed bathtub in the joy-demon's living quarters above the bakery. Itachi frowned as Tobi walked in with another bottle of bubble-bath, since the younger demon had been in the middle of explaining how Tobi Sense worked. "…So basically, Tobi gets all sorts of little symptoms and they all mean different things! Like… If Tobi's back gets itchy, it's Tobi's lucky day! And if Tobi's knees get wobbly, something <em>scary's<em> about to happen!"

"Are they wobbly now?" Itachi gritted out, Tobi shaking his head,

"No. But Tobi's elbow's kind of achy. That means there's a lizard in your tub!" Tobi walked up and submerged the upper half of his body underneath the soapy water and bubbles before coming back up with a large, ginger-shaded, horned lizard.

"What the hell?" Itachi yelled, jumping out of the tub and desperately grabbing for a towel, "Why didn't your knees go wobbly! That's scary _and_ dangerous!"

"Mm-mm!" Tobi shook his head, setting the lizard on the ground, "This is Tobi's pet Milk-toothed lizard Chewy! He's got no teeth!" To prove his point, Chewy jumped up and began gumming various parts of the joy-demon's body; Tobi just giggling all the while.

* * *

><p>"Whatever," Itachi sighed as they walked out of the bakery, "I still don't believe all this fortune-telling mumbo-jumbo." Tobi pouted,<p>

"What's not to believe? _You_ do magic! What's the difference?" For a moment, Itachi's eyebrow twitched. Then he growled,

"_Huge!_ First of all," He looked around before he stood on a soap-box and spoke, "Magic is something you study. You have to practice it and when you use it, you make something you _want_ to happen, happen. With _you_, it makes no sense whatsoever!" Tobi huffed,

"That's _so_ not true, Itachi!" He was quiet for a moment before smiling, "Sometimes it's a _bunch_ of little things happening to Tobi's body at random times that predict the future; Tobi calls them combos!"

"Combos?" Itachi asked as he got down and they continued their walk to the library.

"Mm! Like ears ringing, knee-twitch, then eye-flutter. That's the signal for a beautiful rainbow!"

"Uh-huh." Itachi ignored the other demon, walking up to the library doors. Suddenly, Tobi yelped as a combo came on.

"Ears ringing, eye-flutter, knee-twitch…" Itachi was about to open the door when a voice from inside said,

"Let me get that for you.", before the door slammed open into Itachi; Sasuke helping Naruto carry a few books out.

"Oh…" Itachi groaned in pain, "I thought you said that combo meant a beautiful rainbow?"

"Oh no no no!" Tobi shook his head, "You're thinking of ears ringing, knee-twitch, then eye-flutter. _This_ was Ears ringing, eye-flutter, knee-twitch: look out for opening doors!"

"I don't _believe _this…" Itachi gritted out, Tobi insisting,

"Because you don't understand!"

"Fine!" Itachi stood to his feet, "I have an idea."

* * *

><p>Deep inside the basement of the Adamant Falls library, there was a laboratory. Inside this workspace, Itachi currently had Tobi sitting on a table with a steel helmet tied to his head, which was in turn connected via cables to a machine that would monitor the joy-demon's activity. "Now when you get another twitch, the machines will provide me with <em>all<em> the information I need." Itachi explained, Tobi nodding,

"Okie-dokie-lokie!"

They sat there, waiting for thirty minutes before Itachi asked, "Any twitches yet?"

"Nopie-dopie!"

Thirty more minutes…

"Now?"

"Mm-mm!"

Thirty more minutes…

"Anything?"

"Wait!" Tobi gasped, "I think I feel somethi—No."

"You have to be shitting me!" Itachi shouted, "After a _whole_ day of Tobi Sense, now that I have you hooked up, nothing?"

"Tobi doesn't control it, they just come and go!"

"That makes no sense!"

"You just have to learn to believe in certain things, Itachi." Abruptly, he stopped and blinked, "Wait, Tobi's feeling something…" His stomach rumbled. "Tobi's tummy! That usually means that Tobi's hungry." Tobi smiled, Itachi gritting his teeth before he said,

"Forget it!", and pulled the cables away, "I will _not_ believe in something that cannot be explained! I don't _need_ to understand it, I don't even care!" And then the weasel-demon stormed off, Tobi sitting for a minute before he chimed,

"Okay!" He then effortlessly slid out of the confinements that Itachi had placed on him and then bounced up the stairs. They were about to get to the door when Tobi's ears rang, his eyes fluttered, and his knee twitched. In an instant, Itachi was slammed against the wall by Sasuke forcing the door open.

"Tobi, have you seen Itachi?" The dragon asked, Tobi bouncing away,

"Uh-huh!" Sasuke scratched his head in confusion, the door slowly creaking back and revealing how Itachi was painfully pressed against the wall.

"Aniki, what are you doing there?"

"Are you two planning this?" Itachi yelled, pulling himself away from the wall. Sasuke was still confused,

"Planning… what?" Itachi slowly stood on shaky legs, muttering,

"This can't be happening. It's impossible, I _have_ to figure it out!"

* * *

><p>A frog croaked, pointing a finger ahead as it rested in Zetsu's hair; the plant-demon nodding as he pulled the wagon full of frogs into a dark, dank swamp.<p>

* * *

><p>Tobi bounced around the fountain at the center of town, gasping as he saw a bunch of pretty flowers. He knelt down to sniff them before he giggled and bounced away.<p>

A nearby bush followed the joy-demon, a pair of binoculars peeking out of the leaves. Behind them, Itachi was writing down various field notes as Tobi went along his merry way.

"Hey Itachi."

"OH MY GODS!" Itachi gasped, jumping three feet into the air as Sasuke snuck up behind him. The weasel-demon quickly grabbed his brother before snapping, "Don't you know better than to sneak up on demons, Sasuke!"

"Sorry, but…" The dragon shook his head, "Isn't that what _you're_ doing?" Itachi's eyes went wide before he replied,

"No!" Taking a few deep breaths, he sighed, "I'm doing a field-study to collect notes on Tobi: scientifically known as _Hyperus-Tobius_."

"Hyperous-who?" Sasuke asked but Itachi threw him down again as he explained,

"There's something strange going on here with this supposed 'Tobi Sense', and _I'm_ going to find out what!"

* * *

><p>They followed Tobi as he went to the park, rolling around in the grass and crawling through the jungle-gym. Itachi watched on as the young demon blinked before scratching at his nose. But when Tobi looked around before hiding under the see-saw, Itachi laughed, "Ah-ha! That makes no sense! Tobi just went for cover because of an itchy nose, but <em>twitching<em> equals something from the sky, _not_ itching noses!"

While Itachi was talking, Tobi gulped as a swarm of wasps flew by. They rushed towards the bush where Itachi and Sasuke were hiding, the dragon immediately shifting into dragon-form and flying away, leaving Itachi to clal out, "Sasuke! Where are you going? I've finally proven Tobi Sense wrong!" The wasps rushed down into the bush, Itachi screaming as they stung him over and over.

* * *

><p>Itachi, now with bandages and ointment all over his body, used the binoculars to watch as Tobi walked into Goldleaf Farms. The joy-demon stopped to sniff a flower, Sasuke asking, "What's he doing now?"<p>

"Smelling a flower."

"What does _that_ mean?" Sasuke gulped, Itachi huffing,

"Probably that it _smells _good, Sasuke! Oh, hold on a minute…" Itachi took a closer look as he announced, "Ears ringing, eye-flutter, knee-twitch…" Sasuke looked around before whispering,

"Look out for open doors…", then walked away. But Itachi shook his head,

"Sasuke, here's a chance to prove to you that this is all nonsense!" The weasel-demon walked to the barn behind them and opened the door, "See? I told you there's nothing to – AH!" Right when Itachi decided to walk away, a cellar door on the ground opened up; the brunette falling down a flight of stairs before Kakuzu's voice spoke,

"Hey, Itachi, you came to see my cider-cellar, how nice. Um… Itachi? You okay?"

* * *

><p>The weasel-demon, now with bandages and ointement all over his body <em>and<em> casts around his arms, glared towards Tobi as Sasuke held up his arms so he could look through the binoculars. "Take this down…" Itachi sighed, "Twitching—"

"Something's going to fall!" Sasuke yelled, running away and causing Itachi's arms to hit his thighs.

"Damn it Sasuke! We can't let Tobi know we're –!" A crash sounded as a potted plant fell on Itachi's head. Then a clang as the weasel-demon was hit with an anvil. Then the sound of splintering wood as a wheel-barrow fell on him. And finally, the sound of broken piano keys as he was flattened by a piano.

Up above, a group of flying demons had been helping with a family's move, but one of them laughed nervously as they forgot to lock up the moving cart.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**You know, out of all the episodes of MLP: FiM, the one this update is based on is my least favorite? Huh.**

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	21. My Tobi Sense Is Tingling! Part 2

**A/N: I hate California so much... It's too hot...And half the cities are so BROKEN (as in the things that you think would be obvious to have, free wi-fi, stoplights built at intersections, jobs, they don't have).**

* * *

><p>Tobi was busy biting his nails as he sat on a bench by the fountain in the center of town, but he beamed when Hidan walked by, "Hi Hidan, what are you up to?"<p>

"Kappa-kun forgot his lunch today so I was on my way to the school to give it to him." The albino shook the bento-box he had with him before asking, "What about you?"

"Oh," Tobi smiled, "Just letting Itachi secretly follow Tobi all day."

"You mean you _knew_?" Itachi seethed out as he limped over to the two demons, having to resort to slow-acting healing magic to cure his major injuries. "Why the _hell_ didn't you _say_ anything?"

"Silly!" Tobi giggled, "That would have ruined the secret!" Itachi felt a bit of his sanity slip away before Sasuke walked over and carefully asked,

"Are you… still twitching?"

"Nope!" Tobi smiled, "Clear skies from here on out!" However, a second after he said that, he began to float above the ground; Hidan having to tied him down with a bit of rope.

"What the hell does _that one_ mean?" Sasuke shouted, Tobi shaking his head; his eyes wide in fear,

"Tobi doesn't know! Tobi's never done _this_ before! But whatever it is, it's going to be huge!" Hidan had to tug the joy-demon as he tried to float another foot higher. "Something that we'd _never_ expect to happen is going to happen! And it's going to happen in…" He gasped, turning towards the exit-gates of Adamant Falls. "Dark Water Bog… But that's where… "

"Zetsu's out there with the damn frogs!" Hidan exclaimed, "Are you predicting something about him Tobi? Focus!"

"Tobi isn't sure!" Hidan nodded before he said,

"We should go and see if he's alright." He and Tobi rushed off, Itachi shaking his head,

"Come _on_ you guys! All we know is that Tobi is having problems controlling his chakra, there's nothing to be…" When he finally trailed off, he saw that everyone had left. So with a growl and after waiting for the healing jutsu he had started to finish, he rushed after them. He caught up with Sasuke who asked,

"I thought you didn't believe in this stuff aniki?"

"I don't." Itachi smirked, "But I want to see the look on Tobi's face when all this talk of 'Tobi Sense' comes crashing into reality." Tobi ignored his cousin, however, as Hidan pulled his floating form along; all his thoughts on Zetsu's welfare.

* * *

><p>With a mild creak, the wagon of frogs was opened, Zetsu smiling, "Enjoy yourselves, my friends!" The green creatures happily hopped out into their new home; no one noticing the large, slithering mass in the muck behind them…<p>

Hidan, Itachi, Sasuke, and Tobi walked through the dark dry area that led the way to Dark Water Bog, Tobi shivering all the way. It was a long aggravating walk filled with Tobi's floating and Sasuke's panicked questioning, but they finally made it.

Dark Water Bog was, basically, what it's name suggested: a swamp filled with thick mist and thick, murky water. They all split up to look for the plant-demon, Sasuke yelling, "I found him!" Zetsu, who had been helping one of the straggling frogs into the water, looked over and blinked upon hearing his name called.

"Zetsu-san!" Tobi cried, "You're alright!"

"Why wouldn't I be?" The plant-demon asked, jumping over to solid land. Tobi sighed, a calm smile on his features,

"Tobi's just glad that everything's alright!"

"Ha!" Itachi called over, "In your face! I knew that nothing was really wrong, thus proving that Tobi Sense is a load of bull!" There was a rumbling in the area before clouds of off-green smoke began rolling through the area. "Tobi said that… Whatever he was floating about was huge…" Itachi tried to talk, but he kept getting broken off by coughs as the smoke got thicker. "And the only thing that's _huge_ around here…" Hidan looked behind the weasel-demon and gulped,

"Itachi…"

"Is how _right_ I am!" Itachi kept on, oblivious to the growing danger behind him, "And Tobi may have made a lot of predictions today but – Okay!" The weasel-demon snapped, coughing, "What is that smell?" A growl that sounded more like creaking steps sounded before Itachi turned and saw four heads emerging form out of the water on top of slithering necks. Each head was that of a lizard, ridged scales running down the backs of their heads and fangs dripping with thick muck. "I don't believe this!" The beast roared out towards the demons who immediately began backing up, Tobi asking,

"Is that a _hydra_?"

"Who the fuck cares? RUN!" Hidan shouted, all of the demons following the albino's orders: Zetsu taking the rope that was holding Tobi from Hidan's grasp. The hydra licked his lips before one of his heads rushed after the group, the rest of it's filthy, scaled body climbing out of the muck.

The hydra snapped its jaws, trying to catch any of the demons for a light snack, but they made sure to keep just out of reach everytime.

After a moment of the frantic escape, they were trapped at a high wall; Itachi whipping his head around until he saw a rock that was low enough to climb. "Everyone up that stone!" But behind them, a yell of,

"ANIKI!" Itachi flinched and looked back to see Sasuke desperately trying to dislodge his tail from where it had gotten caught between two rocks.

"Hang on Sasuke!" Itachi called over, rushing over and pulling at one of the rocks until it finally budged away, the dragon pushing his brother away as the hydra tried to attack again.

"Move, people, move!" Hidan yelled, helping them climb the rock. The hydra was giving an impassioned chase, but it tripped when it's tail was caught in a deeper part of the muck. That gave the demons some time to climb up to higher land and get as much ground between them and the monster as possible.

"I think," Itachi panted as he ran, "We're going to make it!" Sasuke ran beside him but gulped as he noticed,

"But Tobi's still floating!" Indeed, the joy-demon was still floating in the air whiel Zetsu had to tug him along. Abruptly, he fell from the air, saying,

"Oh, hey look, it stopped!" But within a second, he was up in the air, "Oh, here Tobi goes again!"

They ran tirelessly until they gasped upon reaching a large chasm, the only way to the other side were the skinny, trembling towers of rock. When one of them nearly fell into the swampy marsh hundreds of feet below, Sasuke gulped and asked Itachi, "Do you know any spells to turn a hydra into a mouse?" Itachi shook his head,

"No."

"A squirrel?"

"No…"

"How about a—"

"No small rodents of any kind, Sasuke!" The dragon only sighed,

"Didn't think so.", before he shifted into dragon-form and flew over the towers of rock; a precaution in case anyone fell. Zetsu tightened his grip on Tobi's rope before whispering to himself,

"A hop… Skip…" He quickly jumped over the towers, keeping the rope in his grasp, "And a jump!" Hidan went next, but he almost tripped when a roar of the hydra shook the area.

"He's too close!" Itachi gritted his teeth before saying, "You go ahead, I'll distract him!" When Hidan was carefully making his way over, Itachi whispered as the hydra got closer and closer, "What would a brave demon like Kisame do?"

…

"Charge!" He shouted as he rushed towards the four-headed beast. The hydra growled as it seemed that Itachi was going to come and be eaten willingly, but he wasn't expecting it when Itachi shifted into the form of a weasel and slid underneath the serpent's form; the hydra tripping over himself in the commotion. Itachi took the opportunity to rush back towards the chasm. But a furious roar from the hydra cuased three of the delicate, rocky towers collapsed down into the murky abyss below.

"Itachi!" Tobi shouted, still floating, "You have to jump!"

"You're insane!" Itachi shouted back, shifting back into normal form, "I'm not a flying demon, I won't make it!"

"You'll be fine!" Tobi cried, Itachi still being hesitant even with the hydra closing in. Finally, in a bout of rage and fear combined, Tobi shouted, "TAKE A LEAP OF FAITH, DAMN IT!" Itachi could practically feel the foul breath of the hydra's mouths at his back before he finally took the jump. Unfortunately, he was too far away, his body plunging towards the swamp below as he screamed in horror…

Just before he landed, a large bubble of swamp gas formed up, allowing Itachi a safe landing before it popped, sending the weasel-demon into the air, all the way to the safe side of the chasm. The hydra hissed, angry that his snack had gotten away, before he walked back to his home.

The group cheered, Tobi rushing over and hugging Itachi, "Tobi knew you could do it, Itachi!"

"I don't know how," Itachi panted, "Coincidence, dumb luck, or whatever; but you said that something _huge _was going to happen here! And I would say that that hydra was—"

"Eep!" Tobi shouted as he began floating again, pouting, "_That_ wasn't the huge thing!"

"Huh?" Itachi twitched, Hidan asking,

"What the hell are you going on about, Tobi?" Tobi folded his arms, stating again,

"The hydra wasn't the huge thing, Tobi's still floating. So whatever the huge thing was supposed to be, it still hasn't happened yet." After Tobi said that, Sasuke gave a weary glance towards Itachi; random sparks of chakra crackling about him.

"Aniki…" Sasuke gulped, "Calm down."

"The hydra…" Itachi gritted out, "Wasn't the huge thing? What could be _huger_ than the fucking hydra?" Tobi shrugged his shoulders. Itachi narrowed his eyes, the orbs gleaming red before he screamed: a surge of fire and smoke growing up behind him. Everyone flinched as Itachi's anger was evident, but after a moment, he sighed and slumped to the ground, "I give up…"

"Give up what?" Sasuke asked, Itachi shaking his head,

"I can't fight it anymore… I don't know _why_ it works, or how, but Tobi Sense actually _makes sense_. I don't understand it but it just _does_! There are some things I gues that even _I_ can't explain."

The area was quiet. Then Tobi asked, "So… Does that mean that you believe?" Itachi nodded,

"Yes, I guess I do." It took another moment, but slowly, a soft whistling noise, like the deflating of a balloon, sounded as Tobi slowly descended to the ground. When he was on his own two feet, he smiled,

"That was the thing! The huge thing!"

"What?" Itachi shook his head, "What was?" Tobi only smiled again,

"You believing in Tobi Sense was the huge thing! Tobi never expected that to happen! Come on Zetsu-san!" And with that, almost as if he had been expecting it all along, Tobi bounced off towards the path that led back to Adamant Falls; humming all the way.

* * *

><p>With an ice-cream cone topped with ruby-chips, Sasuke wlaked into the library, Itachi's voice calling over Tobi's laughter, "Oh Sasuke, you're back. Good, can you take down a letter to Rokubi-sama?"<p>

"Mm-hm." Sasuke muttered back, picking up a quill so he could keep the scroll-paper on the table. However, when he looked at Itachi, he could only stare for a moment until Itachi sighed,

"Sasuke, what have I said about focus?"

"Yeah, but…" The poor dragon was so confused until Itachi finally smirked,

"Never thought you'd see your brother with an umbrella-hat on, right?", referring to, of course, the rainbow-colored hat on his head. Sasuke shook his head, Itachi replying, "Tobi's twitching, what else can I do?"

* * *

><p>After the letter had been written out, Itachi left the library with Tobi; wanting to get something sweet to eat. Sasuke had just opened the balcony window, about to send the letter when the whistling of something falling almost made him run back inside. But imagine his surprise when, with a yelp, who should fall from the sky by the legendary Rokubi No Raijuu himself. "Uh…" Sasuke blinked, Rokubi smiling,<p>

"I'll take that." Before he shifted into the form of a six-tailed weasel and shot off into the sky with a bolt of lightning trailing him. Sasuke was still in awe, so he could only mouth out,

"Holy shit…" As he went back to eating his ice cream.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: And that is the update. Now, an announcement. I go back to college next week (yay...) and since I am trying like HELL to transfer out of the school I'm going to, my classes might interfere with my uploads. I have a bunch more chapters written up, but I don't know when I will be able to post them up. But I will try my hardest peoples! **

**Thanks for reading. Please review! **

**P.S. - It took ages but I finally fixed my lap-top and my scanner which means that fan-art will come... relatively soon. **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	22. This Runway Isn't Big Enough Part 1

**A/N: ...Don't ask me why I'm updating so early, just... don't. I'd like to formally thank: FMJ26, Zetsu's rose, elric0sis (though you beat me to writing a KisaIta Yuri, damn you!), Lyrics-For-The-Mind, Alexa Hiwatari, izzy1229anime. **

**You all are nothing short of amazing. So let me stop blabbing and get started with the chappie. **

**Disclaimer - I don't own Naruto, Hetalia (_This tells you something about this cahpter)_ or MLP.**

* * *

><p>In the lobby of the Rolling Wave Spa Center of Adamant Falls, Zetsu was sitting on the plush couch, reading a magazine while he waited for someone.<p>

The slamming of the door heralded the entrance of scorpion-demon Sasori, the redhead panting and removing his gorgeous red and gold velvet top-hat as he walked in, "_So_ sorry Zetsu! I do hate being late for our weekly male-bonding time." He called over to the demoness who was manning the check-in counter, "The usual please!" The demoness gasped and smiled,

"Anything for Deidara-san's fiancé!"

* * *

><p>The thing with Sasori and Deidara, though they were both well-established fashionistos, Deidara focused more on beautifying the body and hair whereas Sasori worked with fashion, clothing, and accessories. Thus, Deidara's influences could be seen all over the Spa, the demonesses who worked there always waiting for the blonde to come and teach them something new.<p>

A hiss of steam rose up in the air as a cup of water was poured onto a box of hot coals. Sasori and Zetsu sat, nude, in the sauna room; the redhead excitedly recalling the events of his day, "You would _not_ believe what happened!" Zetsu blinked,

"Is everything alright?"

"Much _more_ than alright!" Sasori exclaimed, "I was on my way here, wearing my newest hat when who should stop me but that pony-tailed diva Feliks Pink!" Zetsu was confused,

"Feliks Pink?"

* * *

><p>"He's a pony-demon, but more importantly, he's the most famous fashion-photographer in <em>all<em> the world!" Sasori explained as the two sat in a marble-hewn room, dressed in soft, downy robes as the spa attendant slathered a facial-mask over the scorpion-demon's face. When she turned to Zetsu however, she only put two spots of the substance on his cheeks. "Anyways," Sasori continued as cucumber slices were placed over his eyes, "He saw my hat and said it was tres fabu!"

"That was nice of him." Zetsu smiled as they were led to a set of massage beds. Another attendant came in, holding a metal file, before she began to sharpen the point of Sasori's tail. The other carefully spritzed Zetsu down with a solution of plant-food and spring water before rubbing his back.

"He said that it was so chic that he wants to have a photo-shoot at my shop featuring some of my clothes!" Sasori laughed, Zetsu nodding,

"How wonderful."

* * *

><p>"<em>Do… You… Know…"<em> Sasori spoke, his voice vibrating due to the rough massage he was getting, _"What… This… Could… Mean… For… My… Fashion… Career..?"_

"I'm so excited for you…" Zetsu sighed, his own, _much_ gentler massage getting to all the right spots.

* * *

><p>"But I need someone extra fabulous to model for me." Sasori stated just as two spa attendants finished wrapping his body in seaweed. He wobbled and hopped until he managed to jump into the large, heated mud-baths the spa had, Zetsu already inside. "Someone with natural beauty, grace…" Even though the cucumbers were still on his eyes, he moved his head towards Zetsu and spoke, "Someone… Like you?"<p>

While he sat down, his feet getting a pedicure, Zetsu gulped and shyly asked, "Me? Oh my goodness, I'm not sure-"

"This is such a _huge_ opportunity for me!" Sasori egged on, "And it would mean _so_ much to me if you agreed!" Zetsu averted his eyes a bit before saying,

"I'm flattered, really. But—"

"No one else will have your elegance and poise!" Sasori added.

"But—"

"No one."

"Surely there's someone more qualified for this—"

"Please?"

"Someone who's more into fashion?"

"Please?"

"Why can't you ask Deidara?"

"Please." Sasori huffed, Zetsu sighing,

"Someone who's more comfortable in the spotlight?"

"Please, please, _please~!_" Sasori rushed over and begged, despite his fresh pedicure. Zetsu desperately tried to see if there was any way out of this situation… But it proved hopeless.

"If it's _that_ important to you," The green-haired demon sighed before giving a light smile, "Then of course I'll do it."

"Oh, thanks a million Zetsu!" Sasori smiled, "You're the best friend someone could _ever _have!"

* * *

><p>"Mm…" Zetsu hummed as he and Sasori walked out of the spa an hour later, "What a wonderful way to spend an afternoon."<p>

"Isn't it though?" Sasori smiled, "Though I was _so_ worried that you wouldn't agree to model for me that was stressing out. In fact…" He rubbed at his cheek, "I think I feel a pimple coming on. Well, only one solution!"

Back in the solution, Sasori put his monogramed robe back on and called out, "The usual please!" The spa attendants happily coming to his service.

* * *

><p>"Oh…" Sasori paced back and forth in front of Zetsu: the plant-demon standing on a pedestal wearing dress pants and an off-green dress shirt with a jacket in his hands. The day of the photo-shoot had finally arrived and Sasori needed all the help he could get getting Zetsu ready. "He's going to want to see attitude and pizazz!"<p>

"Attitude…" Zetsu murmured, "And pizazz…" Sasori looked at the clothes again before he shouted,

"More light! Clothes like these are to be worn outside, so if we can't create the right atmosphere, it's all ruined!" Itachi was sitting on a nearby chair but he snapped his fingers, a beam of light shining down on Zetsu. "Deidara, did you put enough eye-liner on him?" The blonde bird-demon walked over and carefully looked at Zetsu's face before adding just the tiniest bit to the edge of his eyelid.

"I need a comb!" Sasori shouted, Naruto rushing over and holding up a comb and a hairbrush. Sasori combed Zetsu's hair, but then he brushed it back, just to comb it again… "No, no, NO!" Sasori shouted all of a sudden, "There's a thread coming out of the tie! Naruto, pins!" The Kitsune looked all around, but just when he was about to rush off to get some, Sasuke crawled over in dragon-form; pins poking into his back. Naruto smiled and took a few before handing them to the redhead.

"Doesn't that hurt?" Itachi asked as Sasuke crawled towards him and Tobi, the dragon shaking his head as he shifted forms,

"Thick scales, can't feel a thing. Besides," His eyes went straight to Naruto, the blonde holding up a fan so Sasori could test the air-physics of the outfit. "There is no pain that would stop me from assisting the most beautiful creature in the world…"

"Oh Sasuke…" Itachi shook his head. But Sasuke took a deep breath before whispering to the two demons,

"I'm going to tell you two a secret, but you have to swear to keep it as that: a secret!" Itachi nodded, Tobi singing,

"Cross my heart and hope to sigh, stick a dango in my eye!" Sasuke nodded before whispering,

"I think I'm in love with Naruto."

"Oh my gosh!" Tobi whispered, Itachi rolling his eyes,

"Give me a break, everyone and their cousin already knows that—"

"Itachi!" Tobi frowned, looking the weasel-demon straight in the eye, "You promised Sasuke that he could trust you! And losing a friend's trust is the fastest way to lose a friend forever!"

"Yeah, but-!" Tobi narrowed his eyes and whispered,

"_Forever…"_ Itachi shook his head,

"My lips are sealed. But I'm pretty sure that, sooner or later, he'll pick up on your feelings otouto." His eyes were especially keying in on the fox-shaped pin that Sasuke had taken to wearing on his shirt anytime Naruto was around. Suddenly, the bell on top of the shop door rang. Everyone looked over to the front door to see a blonde with short cut hair that had a streak of pink going through it, striking green eyes, and smoothly furred ears. One the side of his blonde hair, he had a cute, miniature pink top hat that matched the puffy, pink, gothic-Lolita style dress he had on (with matching pink heels). His tail, that of a horse (or pony) had been dyed pink and tied with a red bow, and a mark of a camera tied with a pink-ribbon stood out on his hand.

After looking around for a bit and making sure that his partner had come through the door (a brunette dog-demon with a feather-duster mark on his hand that, though he seemed happy to help the blonde, kind of looked like he didn't want to be there… Especially not dressed in the green formal attire he had been forced to wear), he stated, "Like, good-morning bitches! Feliks Pink is here to totally make the scene!" Everyone was quiet, trying to take in the duo's appearances, before Sasori walked over and greeted,

"Welcome to GlazeFeather Boutique. May I just say how much of an honor it is to…" He trailed off as Feliks walked passed him and straight to Zetsu. The pony-demon circled the pedestal once before he announced,

"We start… Toris!" The brunette immediately walked over and set up the blonde's photography equipment before he finished, "Now!" Zetsu was petrified the moment he saw the camera, Sasori whispering,

"Attitude and pizazz… Attitude and pizazz!" Zetsu nodded and before he knew it, Feliks had already shot two pictures, crying out,

"Yes! Show me something, baby!" Zetsu tried doing his best attempt at a dynamic pose, turning to look at the camera from behind. But Feliks frowned, "Like, no!" The green-haired demon frowned, seeming to curl into himself. "Yes!" Feliks shouted, taking a picture. Sasori was standing a few feet behind Feliks, so he tried to give the plant-demon some hints. He smiled and pointed to his face, Zetsu flashing a genuine smile towards Feliks. "Like, no!" Zetsu sighed, looking a bit crest-fallen. "Yes!" Feliks shot another picture.

Sasori bit his lip before striking a dynamic pose, Zetsu taking the signal to kneel down with his jacket over his shoulder, looking quite handsome—"Like, no!" Zetsu sighed, sitting on the pedestal with the jacket on his lap. "Yes!" Feliks smiled, eyes wide as he shot three more pictures before shouting, "That's a wrap peoples!" Toris immediately rushed over to pack the photography equipment back up before following Feliks out of the store, Itachi whispering to Tobi,

"But they hardly took any pictures…"

Sasori sighed before helping Zetsu down off the pedestal, the plant-demon apologizing, "Sasori, I'm _so_ sorry! I didn't think I had messed up so badly!" Sasori sighed, trying his best at a smile,

"These pants didn't fit you and the green of the jacket clashed with your hair a bit… I was the one foolish enough to think that _I_ could have impressed _him_…"

"Danna…" Deidara was about to walk over when he was shoved away by Feliks, the pony-demon exclaiming,

"Like, hear one, hear _all_! I, Feliks Pink, have found the next big fashion star _here_ in Adamant Falls!" Sasori's eyes went wide as he asked,

"Really?"

"Like, duh!" Feliks retorted, "And I am going to help him _shine, sparkle, and luster_ all over the world!" Sasori felt so happy he could faint, Zetsu and Deidara giving him silent thumbs up. "Tomorrow there's going to be a photo-shoot in the park! And now," He shifted into the shape of a blonde pony, the dress magically keeping to his new form. "I go!"

"Feliks, wait!" Toris shouted, rushing after the blonde as he ran out of the boutique. When they were gone, Sasori grabbed Deidara's arms as he spoke to the rest of the group,

"Did you all hear that? I am going to _shine, sparkle, and luster_ all over the world!"

"We're in the big-leagues now, Danna!" Deidara cheered as he let himself be lifted by the red-head. Zetsu nodded, sighing in relief,

"Congratulations Sasori, I was so worried that I may have ruined this for you."

"Oh, pshaw!" Sasori rolled his eyes, "I _knew_ that you would be perfect for the part, Zetsu." After a moment, Sasori grinned before jumping up and down, shrieking like a school-boy and not caring who saw.

* * *

><p>The next afternoon, Sasori was wheeling in a rack of new outfits into the park for Zetsu to wear for the photo-shoot. With a snap of his fingers, a portable wardrobe appeared; Sasori pushing Zetsu behind it before he went through all the clothes, "No, no, no – Ah-ha!" The wardrobe vanished in a poof of smoke, revealing Zetsu dressed in a black suit with diamond-accents. "There! Feliks Pink is going to love it! <em>Everyone<em> is going to love it!"

"I'm so happy for you Sasori," Zetsu smiled as he brushed his hair, "Just don't forget us little demons when you and Deidara are rubbing shoulders with the rich and famous, okay?"

"Never." Sasori smiled, clasping a hand on Zetsu's shoulder. Then, there was a shout of,

"Put me down here. No, maybe over there…" Being carried in on a large pink pillow carried by Toris and three more of Feliks's workers, Feliks soon jumped off; Toris rushing to the blonde's side. But Feliks took one glance at the suit that Zetsu was wearing before he shook his head, "No! No, no, no!" The pony-demon's face was in mild disgust as he inspected the suit, "This look is totally all wrong for this model! He needs to be in something simple; something inspired by nature or some shit like that!" Sasori took the insult to his work with a pinch of salt before he smiled,

"That's _just_ what _I_ was thinking!" The scorpion-demon rushed over and rolled all the other outfits out of sight before adding, "Just give me a moment and I'll put something proper together so we can—"

"Unnecessary, totally not needed!" Feliks huffed, snapping his fingers; Toris bringing him a nail-file.

"But…. But how are you going to help me shine, sparkle, and luster across the world," Sasori asked, "If I don't design something new for these pictures?" At that, Feliks huffed before stomping the ground and smirking,

"I never said that I was going to help _you_ shine, sparkle, and luster!" He turned towards Zetsu, "I'm helping _him_ shine! _He_ is my super, special, sexy, omega-shiny star!"

"Wait, what?" Zetsu asked, but he was soon taken away by Feliks's posse, leaving Sasori to sit there in pure shock that his dream had just been shattered.

* * *

><p>Feliks and Toris were prepping the area for a series of photos that would bring out Zetsu's natural theme, the plant-demon dressed in the flowing, olive clothes of a forest nymph; a floral wreath around his forehead. But when the green-haired male saw Sasori packing up the clothes that he had worked so hard on, he rushed over and said, "I <em>can't<em> do this, Sasori."

"Oh!" The redhead shook his head, an eyebrow twitching a bit, "But you _must_! Zetsu, listen to me…" When he was sure that yellow eyes were on him, Sasori went on, "Feliks Pink wants to make you a _star_! It's the opportunity of a lifetime! I know we were both hoping for it to be _my _lifetime, but nonetheless!"

"But I—"

"You _must_ do this for me!" Sasori insisted, interrupt the plant-demon again, "You must! You _must_!"

"Zetsu baby!" Feliks called over, both demons looking over to see the blonde standing on top of the fountain, "It's time to make the magic, like, okay?" Zetsu looked to Sasori once more, the scorpion-demon offering a smile of encouragement before he followed Feliks to the fountain. "Like, OMG, you have the appeal of a flower: so much better without all the tacky glitter and fuss." Sasori sighed, beginning his walk back home.

* * *

><p>The redhead was busy sewing a length of black fabric when the door to the boutique opened, Deidara calling out, "Where's my fashion-icon husband, un?" Tobi, Itachi, Sasuke, and Naruto walked in as well, Tobi bouncing up and down,<p>

"How'd it go? How'd it go?"

"It didn't." Sasori huffed, taking the cloth and draping it over his shoulders, a new black cloak of shame, "Feliks Pink wanted to work with Zetsu, not me."

"Oh Sasori…" Itachi sighed, "I'm so sorry." Deidara walked over to the redhead, rubbing his shoulders,

"Is there anything you need right now?" The scorpion-demon sighed, shifting into the shape of a large, shining red scorpion; crawling up the wall and into a loft, hissing,

"I just want to be alone…" Who were the others to refuse the depressed scorpion-demon's request?

* * *

><p>The next morning, Zetsu found himself being primped and preened by Feliks's employees. His Victorian style clothes were poofed up, his hair was slicked back, and an Imperialesque dragon with long brown hair in a pony-tail brushed some white powder onto his face to make him look even more ethereal. After a moment, though, Feliks scoffed, "Yao, way too much powder!" Yao frowned before forcibly wiping it off. Then Feliks pouted, "Like, not enough!" More powder went on. "Too much!" It got wiped off. "Not enough!" More went on, Zetsu feeling a bit dizzy by now. But Feliks smiled, "Perfect!"<p>

"Ah…" Zetsu's nose twitched, "Ah…" Everyone expected a loud sneeze that would ruin all their work, but they only got a simple "Choo." The blonde beamed,

"O… M… G! Even his sneezes are graceful!" He then glared at the employees, "Go! Now, please!" When they had all left, Feliks escorted Zetsu to the curtain, asking, "So… Like, how do you feel? Happy, over-joyed that _all_ your dreams are about to totally come true?"

"Nervous." Zetsu whispered, Feliks scoffing,

"What? Like, no way! You're only about to be put underneath a microscope for thousands of strangers to criticize and judge you! No biggie!" There was a flourish of hip, pop music before Feliks smiled, "That's your cue! Break something for me, baby!"

He shoved Zetsu through the curtains, the plant-demon gulping as he found himself being stared at by an auditorium filled with fancy demons in the latest clothes. Cameras were flashing from every angle, Zetsu actually feeling a bit dizzy from all the artificial light before he remembered Sasori's smiling face and told himself, "You can't let Sasori down." He then began to calmly walk down the runway, stopping at the end; not sure what to do. But after a few more pictures, the crowds went wild.

"So graceful!" A demoness with too much make-up said to another demoness with too much jewelry; the latter replying,

"So discreet!"

"Perfect for my advertisement campaign!" A random demon called out before Zetsu turned and walked backstage to change.

* * *

><p>Pictures of the timid plant-demon were soon viral all over the world, all of them showing him dressed in some sort of impressive outfit, always accompanied by Feliks and Toris. Press conferences were held, magazine articles written, hundreds of special events occurred…<p>

Feliks, Toris, and Zetsu rode in the most flamboyant carriage to a concert, the security guards keeping all of the plant-demon's fans behind red velvet barricades. The three of them walked into the concert hall, Sasori popping up to join them but he was blocked by a security guard.

Kakuzu even started plastering pictures of Zetsu on all of his merchandise, sales going through the roof. Sasori saw it and rolled his eyes, deciding to take a walk. But as soon as he got to the Oceanside, he saw Kisame instructing a bunch of the other water-demons to erect a banner of Zetsu advertising some type of soda on it. Though he just had Deidara bleach them, Sasori couldn't help that his anger caused him to grit his teeth with a growl.


	23. This Runway Isn't Big Enough Part 2

**A/N: College. Filled with over-expensive books, lectures, and apparently bronies. **

**You heard me.**

* * *

><p>In a bookstorecafé by the most busy part of the Adamant Fall coastline, a group of teen girls were reading the latest celebrity magazines; all of them featuring Zetsu. So, of course, when the plant-demon walked by after getting some bread for his daughter, they gasped and shrieked, "It's Zetsu!"

"Can I have your autograph?"

"Take a picture with us!"

"Marry me!" Zetsu gulped before quickly walking away. But after a moment, he had to go into a run when the crowds got bigger and faster. He managed to duck behind a building, just to gulp when a group of paparazzi demons were there, flashing cameras and bombarding him with questions.

So much attention, so much noise… It was all too much for the green-haired demon. A swarm of vines shot up from the ground and surrounded him before pulling the safety-cocoon into the ground.

* * *

><p>He just wanted to go home and get some shut-eye. That was Zetsu's main thought as the cocoon opened in front of his cottage. He gasped in horror when he saw a group of movers emptying out the space, Toris over-seeing all of them. "What are you doing?" Zetsu asked in a panic, the dog-demon explaining,<p>

"Feliks thinks that it would be better for you to move into the city so he can get to you at any time. So we're collecting your things at the moment and—"

"Where's my daughter?" Zetsu panicked, Toris stating,

"Oh, don't worry. She's safely with her mother in town." Zetsu couldn't bear to hear anymore, he ran into town; despite all of his _fans _there.

He needed to talk to Sasori.

* * *

><p>The scorpion-demon used his tail to slice through a yard of rose-shaded fabric. He was about to get started on the sewing when the boutique door slammed open. Zetsu slowly sunk to the floor, trying to ignore the paparazzi demons outside who were seeking a photo-op. "Wow…" Sasori stated, "Look how… <em>Popular<em> you are." As Zetsu slowly got his feet, he of course couldn't have seen the twitch in Sasori's eye as he smiled, "You must be having the best time _ever_!"

"Oh, yes…" Zetsu sighed, "Great." The green-haired demon wanted to say something but the door slammed open, Feliks Pink bursting in,

"Zetsu, baby! I've totally been hunting your ass down _everywhere_! Come on!" He grabbed the plant-demon's arm, "We have that _thing_ at that _place_!" Zetsu sadly nodded before asking Sasori,

"Meet you at the spa? Our usual time?"

"Of course!" Sasori smiled, "I can't wait to hear about your _thing_ at the _place._"

"No distractions!" Feliks shouted before pulling Zetsu out of the boutique. When they were gone, the red-head seethed,

"_Me and Deidara_ should be the ones who should be swarmed with attention wherever we go!" The door opened again, Sasori greeting, "Welcome to GlazeFeather Boutique, how may I—"

"Is Zetsu still here?" One of the demonesses asked as two demoness students looked around for any trace of the model. Sasori frowned,

"You just missed him. But…" He opened a wardrobe of dresses and outfits, "You're in luck, I'm having a _huge_ sale on some of my best designs." The two demonesses looked at each other before one of them asked,

"And you are..?"

* * *

><p>Deidara walked in just as the two demonesses were chased out of the boutique by Sasori in scorpion form.<p>

* * *

><p>Another day, another press conference. In front of a group of reporters, Feliks spoke while presenting a collection of Zetsu's best photos, "He's totally a <em>natural<em> in front of a camera! Obviously, I'm a friggen' genius for having found him!" Zetsu looked at his watch before asking,

"Feliks Pink—?"

"He's a freaking enigma!"

"Feliks Pink—?"

"I only need to do a little snappy-snappy," Feliks smiled, "And I can capture pure magic!" The reporters started snapping their cameras, Zetsu tugging on the blonde's sleeve,

"Feliks Pink, so sorry to interrupt, but I'm running late for—"

"Oh my gods, how could I forget?" Zetsu smiled, the gesture dashing on the floor when Feliks added, "You're appearance at the dance-club opening! Anyone who's _anyone_ is going to be there!"

"Actually," Zetsu cleared his throat, "I was supposed to meet up with my friend—"

"Come on baby, we have to go, like, pronto!" The blonde shouted as he shoved Zetsu out of the room.

* * *

><p>"Damn it!" Sasori's voice hissed, accompanied by the sound of splashing water as his fist hit the water. "My skin is getting pruny, I've been waiting for Zetsu so long!" Sasori decided to drag Itachi and Deidara to the spa with him, he needed someone to try and pity him. But he still thought that Zetsu would at least show up, "<em>Obviously<em>, Zetsu's too busy with his career to spend time with a friend anymore."

"I'm pretty sure that's not it Sasori." Itachi reassured the redhead as he got into the hot-spring. Deidara agreed,

"He probably just got tied up, un."

"Of course he did!" Sasori fumed, "He's a big, bright, fucking star! I wish he would _burn out!_"

"Danna!" Deidara cried in shock, Itachi speaking up,

"Sasori, he's your friend!" The redhead shook his head,

"I know, I know…" He gave a heavy sigh, "I should be happy for him but I'm so damned jealous!" He looked at Itachi before saying, "And you can_not_ tell him I feel this way!"

Itachi nodded, "You have my word. Losing a friend's trust is the fastest way to lose a friend—"

"_Forever..!"_ Tobi whispered, popping his head out of the bowl of loofahs before he slowly sank back down.

Sasori got out of the springs, handing Deidara a box before he took one of his own and went behind the wardrobe, coming out dressed in white suit with red accents. "Sasori, you look great!" Itachi commented before looking at the matching dress that Deidara had dressed into.

"Yes. Zetsu may be the one who's famous, but that doesn't mean that _we_ have to stop looking fabulous." After that, Sasori escorted Deidara out of the premises; deciding that, after they picked Saso up from home, tonight would be a good night to go out.

Itachi allowed himself to relax in the warm water until the door slammed open, Zetsu rushing in and calling out, "Sasori, I'm here! I…" He looked around and asked, "I missed him, didn't I?"

"Afraid so." Itachi nodded, Zetsu breathing heavily before he spoke,

"I can't believe this! I'm so frustrated, I could just scream!" He took a deep breath before exhaling, "Ah…"

"Feeling better?" Itachi dead-panned, Zetsu sighed,

"No. Itachi, can I tell you something?" Just as Itachi was about to nod, Zetsu added, "And you promise not to tell Sasori?"

"I swear."

"Tobi-swear?" Itachi rolled his eyes before reciting,

"'Cross my heart and hope to sigh, stick a dango in my eye'." Zetsu looked around before he spoke,

"All this modeling and celebrity-status… I hate it! No, I _despise_ it! All this attention literally makes me sick to my stomach, and thanks to Feliks I haven't been able to spend time with Ongakuhana or Tobi in ages!" He groaned and allowed himself to sink to the floor, "I'm only doing this because Sasori said I _have _to…"

"If that's the case then, Sasori told me –" Itachi was interrupted when Tobi popped his head out of the loofah bowl, shaking his head before sinking back in. Zetsu blinked at his love's behavior before he asked Itachi,

"What were you going to say?" Itachi took a moment and when he tried to speak again, Tobi popped back out and whispered,

"_Forever..!"_ Then he disappeared again, Itachi gulping,

"Never mind."

* * *

><p>Walking through Adamant Falls, Itachi kept a careful eye out as Zetsu had his face hidden by an over-sized sun-hat and dark sun-glasses. "I was just thinking," He began as they walked into the shopping center, "If you really don't like being a model, you could always just quit."<p>

"Oh no," Zetsu shook his head, "I could never, Sasori would be devastated." Itachi clicked his tongue, sighing,

"But Sasori told _me_ that –" Just then, Tobi jumped out of a pail of apples; glaring at Itachi before he took an apple and slowly took a bite, chewing with focus. But after a moment, he smiled,

"Mm… Juicy!"

"Ugh!" Itachi groaned, Zetsu sighing,

"If only all these demons didn't like me so much. Then Feliks Pink would have to find someone else with 'magic, baby'."

"I suppose you're right…" Itachi agreed as they walked. But, like a dark bolt of lightning, Zetsu had an epiphany.

"I'm right! I'm right, I'm right, I'm right!" He grabbed Itachi's clothes, adding, "And I know just who can help!" However, in his enthusiasm, Zetsu had knocked away his disguise; a swarm of demons rushing over for autographs and pictures.

* * *

><p>"Don't you two see?" Zetsu whispered to Tobi and Itachi while the three were in <em>Swirl<em>, Tobi working on a tray of cupcakes, "I could never do something unattractive on my own; believe me, I've tried… But if Itachi could help me with my plan, no one will want me to model again!"

"Then Sasori won't be jealous, and _I_ won't have to keep anymore secrets!" Itachi whispered before the plant-demon decided to go prepare for his latest show, and also to put his plan into action. When he was gone, Itachi clasped his hands together and begged Tobi, "You have to promise not to tell anyone!"

Tobi nodded before moving two fingers over his mouth, then pawed at the ground, then pretended to toss something down, then moved his hands over the ground, waved his hands in the air, and pretended to pull something. "So you _do_ promise or what?" Itachi asked, Tobi laughing,

"Duh! That's why Tobi zipped his mouth shut, dug a hole, put the key in the hole, buried the key, built a house on top of the key, and _then _moved into the house!" Itachi felt another piece of his sanity slip away as he agreed,

"Obviously…"

* * *

><p>That night was the big night, as Feliks Pink and Toris sat in the audience right in front of the runway, Zetsu and Itachi were in the plant-demon's dressing room; yellow eyes glaring into the mirror. "Zetsu," Itachi asked after watching the plant-demon stare at his reflection for the past hour, "What are you doing? Don't you need to start your plan?" Zetsu cleared his throat before turning to the weasel-demon.<p>

"Itachi… Promise me that you won't tell Tobi or Ongakuhana what you've seen here tonight?" Itachi could only nod before Zetsu glared into the mirror once more. Only _this_ time, his reflection disappeared just to reappear a second later: with skin black as coal.

"What the hell?" Itachi whispered, but Black Zetsu only laughed before asking,

**"So let me get this straight: you want _me _to help _you_ ruin this little fashion-career you got going on?"** White Zetsu nodded. His darker half folded his arms and hummed, taking in the offer. Then, just when Zetsu thought the plan was doomed, the black plant-demon smirked, showing razor-sharp, white teeth, **"You've got a deal."**

* * *

><p>So Itachi stayed behind stage as Zetsu slowly followed the cue of energetic music. The green-haired demon strolled onto the runway, clad in an elegant business suit. However, those closest to the stage would have noticed that his hands and neck were black…<p>

In the back of the room, Deidara practically had to drag his fiancé in, both of them dressed to the nine in a feather-inspired dress that was accented in sapphires (Deidara) and a scarlet suit worthy of a southern-plantation owner with a matching top-hat and cane (Sasori). "Come on, Danna!" Deidara cooed, Sasori finally huffing,

"I suppose it's time to see what all the fuss is about…"

Zetsu smirked as he walked down the runway, waiting for the right moment before he tripped over his own feet, resulting in a face-plant. Everyone gasped, Feliks grabbing Toris's hand so he could bite his fingernails.

"Oops!" Zetsu laughed, "Clumsy me! Let me just see if I can…" Zetsu tried standing to his feet once more but he let himself fall onto his stomach, "Man, I must have gotten _wasted_ last night! My equilibrium is shit right now!" At that, Feliks fainted, Toris grabbing a fan to try and wake the pony-demon up.

Zetsu managed to get up, but after he did, he stuck a hand inside his pants and scratched around, groaning, "Itching like a bitch… What the hell is this?" Everyone gasped in disgust, Sasori holding back a chuckle. Then the plant-demon used his other hand to pick his nose a bit before the audience members began to boo and gasp.

"Oh no…" Sasori whispered, moving through the crowds to get closer to the runway, shouts of,

"Get him off the stage!", and,

"He's an embarrassment to all things fashion!" Feliks woke up, hearing all the negative cries before he whined,

"I, Feliks Pink, have made a _major_ mistake!" Just when security guards were about to be called, a voice called out from the center of the crowds,

"Bravo! I say, bravo!"

"The hell?" Itachi whispered, others asking,

"Who could say 'bravo' to such a travesty?" They all followed the noise until the crowds parted, Sasori walking towards the runway, clapping as he walked. "It's him!" A demoness exclaimed, "The demon with the gorgeous suit and hat!"

"Such attitude!" Sasori applauded, "Such pizazz! An entirely _new_ type of model!" As the redhead climbed onto the stage, clasping an arm around Zetsu's shoulder, those in the audience began to have a change of heart,

"He obviously has to know a thing or two about fashion!"

"If he likes it, then so do I! Bravissima!"

"Wait, what?" Zetsu and Itachi seemed to panic at the same time, but then Sasori whispered something into the green-haired male's ear, yellow eyes curving up in a smile.

"Three… Two…" They both counted down, "One!" With a rip of clothing and the sounds of the squeamish fainting, both demons had removed their clothes: standing naked there in the spotlight. Itachi could have sworn that he felt part of his brain break at the sight, but Sasori and Zetsu stood there, proud, before they walked backstage.

* * *

><p>"I hope you realize…" Zetsu gritted out to Sasori, "That thanks to you I'm more popular than ever." Indeed, even in the dressing room, Zetsu could hear people talking about his stunt at the show and how he was <em>still<em> a stunning, new breed of model. "Ugh… I'm so angry I could _throw_ something!" While Sasori's head was turned, Zetsu picked up a vase and made like he was about to throw it…But he gently put it back on the table.

"Yes, well, when I saw how everyone was about to turn against you, I couldn't just stay silent."

"But it was pla—" Itachi shut himself up with an apple from a nearby fruit-basket before he said anything he would regret.

"But the horrible thing was…" Sasori began, "I almost wanted them to."

"Of course you—" Deidara shut the weasel-demon up, allowing the two to talk.

"I wanted the attention for me and Deidara," Sasori admitted, "I even began to hope that you would screw something up to ruin your career. But as I looked at all your pictures and read all your articles, I thought: how could I ruin something you _love_ so much?"

"He doesn't l—" As a final effort to keep all the secrets inside him secret, Itachi rushed over and hid his head in a bushel of flowers. Zetsu's eyes were wide, coming down from his darker half's influence as he shook his head,

"_Love?_ Sasori, I _hate_ being a model!" Sasori was flabbergasted!

"What?" The scorpion-demon had to ask, "Then why did you keep doing it?" Zetsu sat down before he answered,

"I didn't want to disappoint you. You seemed so happy when Feliks Pink wanted me to _shine, sparkle, and luster_ all over the world, so I couldn't just turn it down."

"And _I _thought that if I told you how envious I was of your success," Sasori's eyes were wide as he thought about it, "You would think that I was a horrible friend." Zetsu shook his head,

"What? Never!" Sasori could only laugh after that,

"All this time…"

"If we'd only told each other the truth…" Zetsu finished the thought before the redhead spoke, vowing,

"I promise never to try and live my life through you or keep my feelings from you ever again." Zetsu nodded in agreement before they both chanted, "'Cross my heart and hope to sigh, stick a dango in my eye'!" They laughed, Zetsu about to reach for the bottle of champagne in the nearby gift-basket when Feliks Pink rushed in through the door.

"You are _freaking amazing!_ I've already got six photo-shoots lined up for tomorrow alone; you're going to be huge, baby!" Zetsu looked at Sasori before giving a soft smile,

"I'm sorry Feliks Pink, but our kids have a play-date so I won't be making _any_ of them." Feliks stood there in opened mouth shock,

"Huh?"

"And we go!" The scorpion-demon and the plant-demon laughed as Deidara joined them and they walked out of the dressing room, leaving Feliks to ask,

"What the hell just happened here? I mean, seriously?" Itachi couldn't hold his mouth any more, he whipped his head out of the flowers and shouted the first secret that came to mind:

"SASUKE'S IN LOVE WITH NARUTO!"

"Oh Itachi!" The weasel-demon yelped, falling to his butt as Tobi appeared in the mirror, shaking his head in shame, "And you were doing _so_ well too!"

* * *

><p>"Ah…" Zetsu sighed out in relief as he relaxed into a hot-tub. Saso and Ongakuhana had been dropped off at the spa's daycare center, so the adults were free to unwind. "Now <em>this<em> is a wonderful way to spend an afternoon."

* * *

><p>"Isn't it though?" Sasori smiled as they both sat, in the nude again, inside the sauna.<p>

* * *

><p>"I have learned…" Itachi wrote out on a scroll of paper as he sat in a mineral-bath, "That keeping secrets is <em>not fun!<em> It's downright nerve-wracking! There!" He rolled the scroll up and handed it to Sasuke, the dragon huffing as he refused, "Well?"

"Well nothing!" Sasuke frowned, "I can't believe you told someone about my feelings for Naruto!"

"Fine…" Itachi tied his hair back, "I'm sorry. Now will you send my latest report to Rokubi-sama?"

"No." Sasuke simply replied, Itachi shouting,

"Why the hell not?" Sasuke had walked all the way over to another section of the hot-springs where Naruto was sitting, and he whispered,

"I'm a bit _busy_ at the moment."

"Otouto…" Itachi shook his head.

* * *

><p><strong>OMAKE<strong>

Loud laughter filled Kakuzu and Hidan's house as the two farmers, Kisame, Ivan, and Alfred had gotten together to watch Zetsu's latest show. But when Zetsu started to, ahem, put his own twist on things, they couldn't stop laughing.

"I could watch this shit _all_ night!" Hidan laughed, Kisame picking up the remote,

"And thus we shall!", rewinding to when Zetsu began to walk down the runway.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**Yay! Good chapter? Good chapter. So now, while I'm listening to Rainbow Dash Shylenol on YouTube, I thank you all for reading and ask you to review. **

**Thank you all so much! * bows * **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	24. What Makes Me Special Part 1

**A/N: Why am I updating these so early? Geez... Anyway, this is a children-centered chapter (all of you can give your guesses as to what episode this is based on now) so not many scenes with the main cast in here. Oh, I know why I'm updating so early now! **

**MLP: FiM SEASON TWO COMES OUT ON THE SEVENTEENTH! Not to mention that Hidekazu-sama is going to anounce what his next plans are with Hetalia on the tenth, that week is goign to be so epic... **

**Anywho, let's give a shout-out to: elric0sis, Alexa Hiwatari, Lyrics-For-The-Mind, Zetsu's Rose, and FMJ26 (Damn it, you're going to burn down your science lab acting like that! JK, inside joke...) Thank you all for the support so far and let's read! **

**Disclaimer- Look, the only thing I would want to be a part of is the story-line for Nyotalia and that's not happening anytime soon, so I don't own anything but my thoughts. Nyeh. **

* * *

><p>The clanging of school-bells could be heard through the air as students ran into the Adamant Falls Primary Academy, trying not to miss the first bell. In the kindergarten, the youngest of the school's students were already seated around a big, round table working on various arts and crafts. All around the table, we can see the cute, happy faces of some of the most adorable residents of Adamant Falls:<p>

There was Mizuki Hoshigaki, drawing a picture of Kisame, Itachi, and himself having a picnic.

Next to him was a small hell-dog (a special breed of dog-demon) with hair that was a mixture of vermilion, silver, and black. His eyes, a crescent-shaped scar under the left, focused as he tried to gnaw on a calligraphy brush. "No Hun…" The voice of the teacher called over, "We don't _eat_ the brushes."

Then there was a small blonde whose hair had been tinted blue on the edges (this month's color, as decided by his parents). His calm, aquamarine eyes watched as he played with and made a small paper-dress for his doll.

After him we can see Ongakuhana making a nice card for her daddy.

Then Kiro sat doing some sort of arithmetic exercises, Kire was fussing with his hair via the help of the paint-can's reflective surface, and finally, Kira was working with a sheet of fabric.

Looking at these children and the others, you would at first just see that a bunch of kindergarteners were having a bit of fun before lessons started. But if you looked closely, you would notice something:

The majority of them had chakra-marks on their hands, already depicting what they were best suited for.

"Settle down everyone!" The teacher, a brunette dolphin-demon by the name of Umino Iruka, called out as he walked to the front of the classroom. "We have a very important lesson to get to today." Everyone slowly calmed down, Iruka smiling before he stated, "Today we're going to be discussing…" He picked up a small device, pressing a button before an image appeared on the chalkboard: it showed various marks and symbols that would usually appear on the hands of demons and other creatures. "Chakra-marks." A demon boy with teal-shaded hair and pale skin dressed in a luxury kimono sighed,

"Boring…" Kira frowned at him before picking up a calligraphy brush to take notes. Iruka held up his right hand, asking,

"You can all see my chakra-mark up here, right?" The mark depicted a book with a dolphin on the cover, "Like all demons, I wasn't _born_ with my chakra-mark," He clicked the button again, a picture of himself as a baby appearing on screen, "My hands were bare."

"Aw…" Kire gushed, "How cute!" The teal-haired demon and his twin brother, their names were Sakon and Ukon and they were the children of snake-demon Orochimaru and badger demon Kabuto, both rolled their eyes before Iruka began speaking again,

"But one day, when I was around your ages, I woke up and I found that a chakra-mark had appeared on my hand." The picture shifted to Iruka as a preteen, dressed in clothes that would better suit a disco-club.

"Look at his clothes!" Sakon laughed, others joining in before Iruka chuckled,

"Yes, I know, but trust me: most of your parents were probably dressing just like that or worse back then. But any who, after that day, I decided to become a teacher. The book represented the knowledge that I hoped to instill to others and the dolphin shows how I want all my students to soar!" After that, Iruka asked his students, "Now, can anyone tell me when a demon gets their chakra-mark?" A moment later, Kiro rose his hand and stated,

"When they find out what they're good at; what makes them unique."

"That's right Kiro-kun," Iruka walked over to his desk at the front of the room and sat down, "A chakra-mark appears on a demon's hand when they find out what makes them special from others. Discovering that something doesn't happen over-night…" Kira was working hard to write down the gist of everything she heard when there was a

"Psst!" from next to her. The cat-demon girl tried to ignore it, but there was another "Psst!" She frowned, taking her notes and trying to pay attention to Iruka-sensei when Sakon leaned over and hissed, "Psst!"

"What is it?" Kira asked, Sakon looking like he hadn't done anything. But he held out a piece of paper, Ukon waiting for it on Kira's other side. Kira sighed but took the paper, yet when she did, Iruka called out,

"Kira-chan! Are you passing notes?" In her shock, the albino girl dropped the paper to the floor, muttering,

"I… But I…"

"What could be so important," Iruka walked over, "That it couldn't wait until _after_ class?" He picked the paper up but blinked as he noticed, "It's blank?" Sakon laughed before smirking,

"Remind you of anyone?" As Iruka went back to the front of the classroom and the twins kept laughing at her, Kira whimpered as she looked at both of her hands: neither of them bearing a chakra-mark of any sort.

* * *

><p>The afternoon bell rang through the air, Kakashi and Iruka sending the students off to their homes. All of the kindergartners happily rushed off, Kiro and Kire waiting for their baby sister who was seeming a bit glum. "Last time I checked…" Kiro calculated on his fingers, "I have a bit of money left from my allowance, just enough to get some ice cream. You want some Kira-chan?" Kira shook her head as she kept her eyes to the ground. Then Kire offered,<p>

"I can do your hair when we get home! It'll make you smile!"

"No…" Kira sighed. Just then, Sakon and Ukon walked by, the first twin huffing,

"I don't know _why_ we had to sit through a lesson on chakra-marks anyway! I mean," Ukon smirked as he waved his hand, bearing a mark of a snake coiled around a sapphire, "_You _have _yours_!" Sakon wiggled his fingers on his hand that held a mark of a snake coiled around a ruby, "_I_ have _mine_! We just got them!" Kiro frowned at the two spoiled demons that constantly showed off their father's money. "_Everyone_ has theirs already! Oh wait!" He looked at the triplets, "_Almost_ everyone."

"Don't worry you three…" Ukon laughed, "You're still invited to our Debutante Party this weekend!"

"It's a party that our dad's throwing to celebrate us getting our fantastic chakra-marks!" Sakon explained, him and his brother laughing amongst themselves. After a moment, a fancy black carriage pulled up to the school-yard: the twins' ride home. "See you this week-end…" Sakon called out as he jumped in, Ukon finishing,

"No-talents!" The carriage rushed off, leaving two angry stitch-demons and one sad cat-demon.

* * *

><p>Later that afternoon, Kira was doing her chores: helping her Mama in the apple-orchard. As she worked, however, she kept sniffling until Hidan finally asked, "Kira, what's wrong?" The small cat-demon looked up from where she was picking up the older apples off the ground for cider before she whimpered,<p>

"It's not fair… Sakon and Ukon getting to tease Kiro, Kire, and me just because we don't have chakra-marks…"

"Don't get your tail in a knot," Hidan sighed before he snapped his fingers and made his scythe appear so he could cut down some of the fresher apples, "You'll all get your chakra-marks eventually."

"But… But eventually isn't good enough Mama!" Kira insisted, "And we can't show our faces at Sakon and Ukon's Debutante Party without chakra-marks of our own!" Hidan swung his scythe, a few apples falling down into another basket,

"Like hell you can't! You know," He sat down beneath the tree, patting his lap so Kira could come over and sit down, "I was the last person in my family and class to get my chakra-mark. And I couldn't be prouder of it!" He looked at his hand that held his scarlet scythe chakra-mark, "When I got this thing, I knew that I was meant to help your Papa run this place _and _do my best to defend anything and anyone close to me. Come to think of it," He nodded to himself, "Obaa-san was the last in her class and generation to get a chakra-mark. Same thing with Kakuzu. So were Oak, Peachy, Kasumi…"

"Mama, that doesn't help…" Kira sighed, walking away to pick up more apples, "It probably just means that being the last one to get your chakra-mark runs in the family. Wait…" She thought for a bit, "Runs in the family!" She rushed over to Hidan and smiled, "You have a scythe for your chakra-mark, and Papa has a Yen symbol! Then Obaa-san has a gold bar, so my unique talent must come from something that one of you are good at!"

* * *

><p>The next morning, Kira decided to accompany her Papa to the shopping center. They quickly set up their booth of produce, cooked foods, and other things before Kakuzu began calling out, "Get your fresh produce and baked goods here! Straight from Goldleaf Farms to your stomach!"<p>

"Delicious, nutritious," Kira called out before taking a bite of apple pie, "And so many uses!" She looked around, no one coming over, before she thought, "Papa usually has to go above and beyond to get his sales up. What can I do?" Her thoughts went to her older sister Peachy, the older cat-demoness always telling Kira that she has to use cuteness and charm to get guys to do what you want. "Okay then." She saw a demon walking by and rushed over to tug at his sleeve before asking, "Sir, would you _please_ by something from me?", blinking her big, ruby eyes.

"Well, I…"

"_Please?_" Kira batted her eyelashes. To get away from the over-bearing cuteness, the demon shoved some money into Kakuzu's hands and took a pie, the stitch-demon saying,

"Wait, you forgot your change…"

"Yay!" Kira cheered, "I'm sure to have a chakra-mark now!" She looked at her hands, asking, "Is it a coin? Is it something cute? Is it a pie?" When her hands were as bare as ever, Kira hummed, "Maybe I need to be a bit more forceful…" She thought back to her Mama and her older brothers before walking to where a dove-demon with pale eyes and long, navy hair was looking over their products. Kira took a deep breath and shouted, "This isn't a library, BUY SOMETHING! We take cash or credit!" The dove-demon quickly ran away before Kakuzu could remedy the situation.

"Kira, stop for a moment, would you?" But the cat-demon was already putting a basket of strawberries into another demoness's bag before stating,

"250 yen, please!"

"I didn't get these!" The demoness shouted, Kira pouting,

"Likely story."

"Kira Shiroi-Hoku!" Kakuzu roared, stopping the girl in her tracks before he spoke to the demoness, "So sorry, she's new… So you can take these, free of charge!" He gave her a basket of the best that the stand had to offer before she walked away. However, right when she left, Kakuzu had a change of heart, "No, wait! Come back! Give me money!" Of course, she was gone by then. Kakuzu narrowed his eyes before going to Kira and taking away her adorable little apron, "Kira-chan, until you get off of this nonsense about chakra-marks, your selling days are over!"

"But… How else will I get a chakra-mark?" Kira cried, her eyes getting watery. Kakuzu sighed before kneeling down and explaining, rubbing his gold and green yen chakra-mark,

"Look, I know it's hard to wait for a chakra-mark to appear, but you can't force it. And besides…" He patted Kira's head, "You're not _that_ old yet, you still have many days of your youth ahead of you. Also, I _know _for a fact that you aren't the only one without one."

"Well…" Kira lightly kicked at the ground, "Kiro and Kire don't have _theirs_ yet either…"

"There you go." Kakuzu smiled, "You go to that party with your brothers and all of you holding your heads up high, and you'll shine even without your chakra-marks." Kira smiled and nodded,

"Okay Papa." She was about to go home and find her siblings when she thought about something, "Are you sure you don't need me to stay until the end of the day?" Kakuzu was just about to reconsider when he heard the crashing of the demoness he had bribed with all the food.

"I'm sure."

* * *

><p>Kira happily hummed as she walked home, taking her Papa's words to heart. She walked to the carrot-patch where Kiro and Kire were working today and when she saw her brothers, she beamed, "Guys! I have a great idea!"<p>

"What is it Kira-chan?" Kiro asked, standing up from the mud and dirt. Kira smiled,

"We should all go to Sakon and Ukon's Debutante Party together! I mean, I don't have a chakra-mark, _you guys_ don't have chakra-marks…" Kiro gulped, looking anywhere else besides his sister's face when Kire gave a nervous chuckle,

"Um… Actually Kira-chan…" The two stitch-demons wiped their hands down with a towel and Kira's eyes widened in horror. Kiro now had a mark of a pencil and numbers on his hand while Kire had a brush, comb, and scissors. "Aren't they amazing? I knew that I loved doing hair, but I didn't think it was my special thing!"

"And I should have known that my talent would be in calculations with how quickly I can work with numbers." Kiro nodded, looking at his new chakra-mark. Kira gave a shaky smile,

"Yeah… Amazing…"

"Hey…" Kire blinked, "This doesn't mean that we're not going to the party together! You're still coming, right?"

"Of course she is!" At that moment, Sakon and Ukon had decided to ride past the farm on their shiny new bicycles, Sakon adding, "It's not like being the only demon at a Debutante Party celebrating chakra-marks _without_ a chakra-mark would be the most embarrassing thing _ever_!" And then they rode off laughing, Kira rushing to her room with tears in her eyes.

* * *

><p>The next day, the day of the Debutante Party, Kira sat by the Adamant Falls well, just sitting in gloomy darkness and trying to avoid everyone until the party was over. At least until shark-demon Kisame walked by and smiled, "Hey, looks like someone's stuck in a fog. Let me fix that." He swung his sword a couple of times before the fog that had been hovering over the well area had dissipated. Yet Kira still looked sad so he sat by her and asked, "What's wrong?" Kira took a deep breath before explaining,<p>

"Orochimaru's twins, Sakon and Ukon, are having a Debutante Party this afternoon and everyone there is going to have their chakra-marks and I want my chakra-mark but I'm no good at selling food, but I _really_ want to go to the party but how can I go without a chakra-mark? Papa and Mama say that I'll get one eventually _but I need one now~!_" Kisame blinked, taking in all of the information that the small cat-demon had presented in the past few seconds before he asked,

"Chakra-marks? Look, I could get you a chakra-mark like _that_!" He snapped his fingers, Kira sniffling,

"But Papa and Mama say that I have to wait, that these things take time." Kisame clicked his tongue, rolling his eyes,

"Why _wait_ for something to happen when you can use your own power to _make_ it happen?" Kira gulped,

"But Papa said –"

"Look, Kira-chan…" Kisame chuckled, "You can listen to 'I had to wait until I got engaged' Kakuzu. Or you can listen to 'third in his class to get a chakra-mark' me." Kira's eyes went wide,

"Third?" If he got his so early, then surely Kisame knew what he was talking about. Kisame nodded,

"Yep. When I was in the Naturas Educational Program for Bettering the World, or the NEPFBW, I always knew that I would be doing something with water. But it wasn't until my first race, my first time defending someone that I cared about, that I knew where my power would best be suited for. And then, _whoosh!_" He showed his hands, both of them having chakra-marks shaped like crashing tidal waves. "These guys appeared!" Kira nodded in excitement before bowing,

"Please teach me, Kisame-sensei!"

* * *

><p>"One… Two… Come on Kira-chan!" Kisame took the cat-demon girl to a nice, calm area of town where he was having her stretch out her limbs, "Have to be nice and relaxed for this. The key here is to <em>expand<em> one's horizons; to try out as many different things as possible. That way, you'll find something you love _and_ that leads to your chakra-mark! Ready?"

"Hai Kisame-sensei!" Kira nodded, tying a headband around her forehead. Kisame nodded,

"Let's go!"

* * *

><p>"Juggling!" Kisame announced, giving Kira a basket of multi-colored balls, "3, 2, 1, Go!" Kira tried to keep as many balls in the air as possible but they soon came crashing down.<p>

* * *

><p>"Tree-jumping!" Kisame called out as he and Kira ran through the boughs of trees in the Yonko Forests, "3, 2, 1, Go!" He stopped, allowing Kira to go for a while by herself. But soon, she tripped on a branch and Kisame had to rush and catch her before she fell to the forest floor.<p>

* * *

><p>"Karate!" The bluenette stood in the middle of a dojo, clad in the traditional clothing, before he called, "3, 2, 1, Go!" Kira jumped into the air, her clothing a pink Gi, before she tried to kick the punching bag… But only ending up hurting her foot.<p>

* * *

><p>"Kite-flying!" Kisame shouted out as he and Kira stood in a field, the younger demon holding a pink, kitty-cat shaped kite. "3, 2, 1, Go!" Kira began to run, desperately trying to get the pink contraption into the sky. And it did fly…<p>

For all of three seconds before crashing into the ground.

* * *

><p>"Go!" Kisame whispered, talking about the board game that Kira was playing against a deer-demon named Shikamaru. "3, 2, 1!" Kira hummed as she tried to make a move, sliding one of her white pieces into a new position. However, Shikamaru quickly moved one of his black pieces, surrounding all of Kira's pieces and winning the game.<p>

* * *

><p>Kira sighed as she sat underneath a large acorn tree, Kisame flipping to a checklist, "We've done that… That… Did that… Tried that… Oh did the <em>hell <em>out of that one…" Kira flinched when she heard painfully familiar laughter. She jumped behind a rock to hide as Sakon and Ukon walked by, accompanied by one of their servants who was carrying their purchases.

"Those kimonos look _amazing_!" Ukon smiled, Sakon agreeing,

"The perfect shade and cut to show off our chakra-marks! Oh…" He sighed, "I love being special. And rich!"

"Can you imagine what it's like to," Ukon gulped, "_Not_ be special and rich?"

"Oh, I don't even want to _think _about it!" When the spoiled demons were gone, Kira rose up from her hiding place and groaned,

"I'm doomed! I'll never find something that makes me special! Something that I'm good at!" Just before she was about to start crying, who should pop in but Tobi.

"You look like you'd be good at eating cupcakes!" Kira blinked before her eyes went wide,

"Eating cupcakes?"

"Eating cupcakes?" Kisame asked, Tobi nodding,

"Eating cupcakes!", before he bounced off. Kira jumped up and bowed to Kisame,

"Thank you so much for your help, Kisame-sensei, you've taught me so much and introduced me to many different things. I would love to play some more but I've got some cupcakes to eat! See you at the Debutante Party!" Then she was off to see if Tobi could help her get her sought after chakra-mark.


	25. What Makes Me Special Part 2

**A/N: Be warned, more singing!Tobi ahead. Ugh...**

* * *

><p>"Why didn't I think of this before?" Kira asked herself as she followed Tobi into <em>Swirl<em>, "A cupcake-eating chakra-mark would be _incredibly_ simple! Now," Tobi was taking out some baking pans and ingredients while Kira searched around the kitchen, "Where are those cupcakes? I should get started as soon as possible!" Tobi giggled,

"Tobi doesn't have any cupcakes!" Kira looked more than unhappy before Tobi smiled, "But you look like you'd be good at helping me _make_ some!" A white chef's hat was plopped onto the cat-demon's head, Kira nodding after a moment,

"Well, a baking chakra-mark could be even better! That way I could help Mama cook things for Papa to sell at the shopping center!"

"That's the spirit!" Tobi cried before getting a mixing bowl and, ugh, _singing_,

"_All you've gotta do is take a cup of flour, _

_Add it to the mix!"_ He followed his own instructions as he sang, Kira watching as he poured a bunch of candy into the cake batter,

"_Then add a cup of something sweet, not sour! _

_A pinch of salt, just a pinch!_

_Baking these treats is such a synch, _

_Add a teaspoon of vanilla! _

_Add a little more, _

_Then count to four _

_And you'll never get your fill-a!"_

"I think I understand…" Kira nodded, Tobi singing,

"_Cupcakes~! _

_So sweet and tasty! _

_Cupcakes~! _

_Don't be too hasty! _

_Cupcakes~! _

_Cupcakes, cupcakes, cupcakes!"_

* * *

><p>Thirty minutes later, the kitchen was a mess of cake batter and sprinkles. Kira was busy with a mixer that was splashing batter all over the place. A bell dinged, the cat-demon girl gasping and rushing to see if her cupcakes in the over were coming out right. In the process of opening the oven, she ended up knocking over a sack of flour. She made sure to put on a pair of oven-mitts before she pulled her work out of the oven: a dozen, burnt to a crisp cupcakes.<p>

"Ooh!" Tobi blinked, "Those look _much _better than the last five batches!" When she saw Tobi take a bite out of one, Kira blinked and took a bite of one herself; immediately coughing the burnt mess up.

"I guess…" She coughed, "I'm not meant to be a baker either…" She took her hat off before she whimpered, "I just have to face it, my hands will be blank forever…"

"What about that?" Tobi asked, pointing at the girl's hands. Kira gasped as she looked down and saw a particular smudge on her hand,

"Is that a… Is it a chakra-mark? Oh, what is it, what is it?" She looked at it carefully as she guessed, "A mixing bowl? A measuring cup? Cupcakes?" Tobi walked over before blowing a bit of air over Kira's hands, the flour brushing off and showing her pale hands.

"Flour! Yay, Tobi wins! What do you want to play next?" The joy-demon bounced around, ignoring how Kira sank to the ground in despair, "Please say 'Bingo'! Please say 'Bingo'!"

"What the…" They both turned to see Itachi walk into the kitchen, eyes looking at all the mess, "Why does it look like a battlefield in here?"

"We've been making cupcakes!" Tobi beamed, bringing a plate of Kira's cupcakes to Itachi, "Want to try one?"

"No thanks…" Itachi gulped, "Not that they don't look great." Tobi shrugged before he went to check on something that he had been working on before Kira showed up, but Kira rushed to Itachi and begged,

"Itachi-san, _please_ help me!"

"What is it?" Itachi asked, worried at the girl's distressed state. Kira bit her lip before taking a deep breath and saying,

"Sakon and Ukon's Debutante Party is today and everyone in my class will be there and they all have their chakra-marks and I need to get _my _chakra-mark but I'm no good at selling food or baking cupcakes or being an athlete but I want to go to the party but how can I if I don't have a chakra-mark? Tobi's acting like you can't make a chakra-mark appear but I need it to appear _right now!_"

"I'm sorry to hear that," Itachi blinked, "But how am _I_ supposed to help you?" Kira looked at the shimmering, swirling red chakra-mark on Itachi's hand before asking,

"Can you use your magic… To give me a temporary chakra-mark?"

"_Oh no…_" Itachi shook his head, "Chakra-marks only appear when the time is right. It will take time, but when you discover your special skill, you'll have a beautiful example of a chakra-mark." Tobi walked past with a large bowl of candy and went out the door before Kira asked again,

"Please Itachi-san! I just need one to get me through this party!" Itachi wanted to refuse again, but seeing Kira's eyes almost filled with tears made the weasel-demon sigh,

"Let me see what I can do…"

"Yay!" Kira cheered before holding out her hands. Itachi placed his fingers together for a spell, a glow shining on Kira's hands. Abruptly, the glow recoiled and sent Itachi flying into a wall. "Are you okay?" Kira asked, Itachi shaking his head with a groan,

"No… Rokubi-sama already drilled it into my head that you can't force chakra-marks to appear otherwise your chakra will turn on you…"

"I'm sorry…" Kira whispered before turning to leave the bakery. "I just won't go to the party. I _can't_! Everyone's just going to laugh and tease me; it'll be the worst night of my life!" Itachi tried to give a reassuring smile as he offered,

"Now I'm sure that it won't be as bad as all that." But Kira shook her head,

"There's _no_ way I'm going to that…" Her voice trailed off as she walked through the door and saw that the bakery had been transformed for a Debutante Celebration; parents dropping off their children and presents. Kira's ears drooped as she whispered, "Party…"

* * *

><p>With decorations of rose and indigo, the party was already in full swing: all around you could see demons eating some of the sweets Tobi had prepared earlier, Orochimaru, Kabuto, Sakon, and Ukon were having their photos taken (showing off their expensive new clothes), and Kira was desperately hiding behind the chocolate statue of the twins that had been ordered. "How could I have forgotten the time? How could I have forgotten that Tobi was hosting <em>and<em> catering the party? How could I have forgotten that it would take place at _Swirl_?"

"Don't forget your party hat!" Tobi chimed, sticking a colorful hat onto the albino girl's head. Kira shook the hat off and immediately shifted into cat-form so she could find a way out of the bakery without being seen.

She had a lot of close calls, but she shifted back to normal as she saw the door in sight. "I'm home-free!" She rushed out of the building, just to crash into a warm, familiar body.

"Kira!" Hidan smiled, picking his youngest daughter up, "You decided to come after all! I just wish you had come home first, Sasori tailored your party dress!" Hidan carried Kira, who was struggling to get away, to the nearest restroom so he could help her get dressed, Kakuzu adding on,

"After I saw that the boys got their chakra-marks, I was afraid you weren't going to come. But I'm glad that you realized how silly you were being about this whole 'chakra-mark' issue."

A few minutes later, Kira was being set down on the ground in a pretty, frilly, white and pink dress. Hidan smiled, "Freaking adorable. But me and Papa are going to hang out with the other adults, you say hi to your friends that are coming over here." Kira flinched, looking over to see Sakon and Ukon stalking towards her. She whined, looking around for any type of haven when she saw the ivory table-cloth underneath the punch bowl. She smiled before she rushed over, used her claws to cut some of it, and made herself a pair of fingerless gloves.

"Well, look who's here." Sakon smirked, him and his brother circling the cat-demon. Ukon chuckled,

"Nice outfit. Even _nicer _gloves."

"Thanks," Kira smiled nervously, "Just something I got at the last minute." Sakon hummed for a bit before he spoke again,

"They really show off your chakra-mark. Oh wait, I forgot! _You_ don't have one!" Kira was in a bind: if she told the truth, she was screwed, if she lied she would be screwed… But at least it would give her time to run. She huffed,

"I… I have a chakra-mark."

"What?" Ukon blinked in disbelief, "Since _when_?" Kira nodded, trying to keep up a smile,

"Since… Earlier this morning. Yes, that's—"

"Then show it to me." Sakon interrupted, about to reach for the girl's gloves when she protested,

"I shouldn't… This party is all about you two! And me showing off my new chakra-mark would draw attention from you guys and this wonderful party that your parents worked so _hard_ to set up!"

"Forget it!" Sakon huffed, "That's not even the reason I kept pushing you anyway." Kira wanted to ask what he was talking about when he grabbed her hand, Ukon pushing her along. "Since you _finally_ got a chakra-mark, you are officially good enough to be my girlfriend."

"Excuse me?" Kira yelped, trying to get away from the twins.

* * *

><p>"Come on, you'll enjoy yourself…" Kisame offered as he dropped Mizuki off in the children's area of the party. The otter-demon frowned at Kisame, the shark sighing, "You should have come with me earlier today then if you're so worried about it. It shouldn't matter all that much though." Mizuki rolled his eyes, adjusting the summer kimono he was wearing. In the course of a few minutes, Zetsu had come to drop off Ongakuhana (dressed in a green jump-suit and matching gloves) Hun had wandered in through an open door, and Sasori and Deidara left Saso in the midst of the party with the most impressive little cloak. It took a moment of the demon children trying to find a way out of there when there was a loud cry of,<p>

"Let go!" Kira had forcibly tugged herself away from Sakon. But the other demon had a firm hand on her gloved hands; when she moved, the gloves slipped off: revealing her bare hands as she crashed into the music system, stopping the music. Everyone gasped at the spectacle, Kira trying to get to her feet before Sakon and Ukon walked over, the older twin laughing,

"Wow, that _is_ a great chakra-mark!" They both laughed and cackled before jeering, "Kira No-talent! Kira Not-special! Kira Not-unique!" Everyone in the room muttered at the embarrassing scene, Kira feeling tears coming on. Suddenly, there was a cry of,

"Where do you two get off?" There was another collective gasp as Ongakuhana walked over and stood in front of Kira in the girl's defense. After a moment, Mizuki and Hun walked over, followed by Saso, and then Kiro and Kire.

"Do you have a _problem_ with demons without chakra-marks?" Kire narrowed his eyes towards the twins, Ukon stating,

"The _problem_ is that _she_ isn't special!" Mizuki shook his head before stating,

"No. It means that she's full of potential."

"She could be good at _anything_." Kiro added, Hun jumping up and down as he concluded,

"The possibilities are as endless as the moon is round!" Ongakuhana nodded before Saso explained, brushing a bit of his hair to the side,

"She could be a scientist, an amazing artist, or a singer, ano sa."

"She could even grow up to be mayor!" Ongakuhana turned, flashing a cute smile to the cat-girl who blushed as Mizuki stated,

"And he isn't stuck being _stuck up_ like you two." Everyone around laughed a bit before Sakon fumed,

"This is _our_ party! Why are you taking _her_ side?" The children who had gathered around Kira in her time of need were all quiet for a moment. But slowly, Ongakuhana, Mizuki, Saso, and Hun uncovered their own hands, revealing…

"You all don't have chakra-marks either?" Kira gasped before smiling in joy, "I thought I was the only one!"

"That's what we thought too, ano sa!" Saso returned the gesture. Then Itachi walked in from the adult half of the party and stated,

"And I think that you are five _very_ lucky demons."

"Huh?" Ukon looked dumbfounded, Sakon fuming,

"How are _they _lucky?"

"Because," Slowly Kakuzu, Hidan, Zetsu, Tobi, Sasori, Hidan, and Kisame all made their ways over: the stitch-demon answering, "They still get to experience child-hood, to experience what they really want to do in life."

"And they've got all the time in the world to do it!" Kisame smiled, especially at the fact that his son seemed to find a group of children he could hang out with. Slowly but surely, the other children walked over; speaking in awe and amazement. Kiro patted his sister on the head as Kire hummed,

"Maybe I got _my_ chakra-mark too soon!" As all attention went to the other children, Sakon shouted,

"Hey! Hey, this is _our_ Debutante Party! You're all supposed to be paying attention to _us_!" When they were still being ignored, the twins went positively red before screaming, "DADDY!"

"What is it now?" Orochimaru hissed, dragging his wife along with him into the main room. Ukon rushed into Kabuto's arms and whined,

"They're ruining our party Mommy! Make Daddy kick them out!"

"What's going on here?" Orochimaru spoke with the other adults for a moment, noticing that the attention of the party had shifted, before he hissed, "Can't you control your kids?"

"Control _our_ kids?" Sasori repeated in disbelief, Hidan yowling,

"You two are the ones who have raised a couple of brats!"

"Enough!" Orochimaru shouted, "Just take your kids and go home! Your invitations to this celebration have been revoked!" The main group of children immediately became sadder after they heard that they had to leave, but Tobi smiled and said,

"If that's the case, then Tobi's going to have to ask _you_ to leave!"

"I beg your pardon?" Kabuto asked, Tobi nodding,

"You told us to leave your party and go home, right? Well, this bakery _is_ my home, so _you_ would need to take down _everything_ that you've painstakingly set up. Not to mention all the money that would go to waste…"

Orochimaru looked like he was about to blow a gasket. But rather than ruin his theater-quality good looks, he stated to his children, "Quit whining and suck it up!" Sakon and Ukon gasped, the latter twin whining,

"But Daddy—"

"Shut up, Ukon!"

* * *

><p>"Oh my gosh, I love this song!" Kire cheered as the music was turned back on. Our favorite group of adult demons had decided to sit and relax in the main party room rather than go back to the adult-section of the party and be glared at for three hours. Kire danced past Sakon and Ukon, the twins glaring at him, before he sat down at the table where his new friends and his siblings were sitting.<p>

Kira blushed a bit as Ongakuhana had decided to sit next to her, but then she spoke up, "I was thinking… Now that we're friends…" She trailed off before asking, "We _are_ friends, right?"

"How could we not be?" Hun smiled, Kira nodding,

"Now that we're friends and since most of us don't have our chakra-marks, why don't we work together and help each other find our true callings?"

"Ooh!" Ongakuhana smiled, "We could have our own secret society!"

"With matching uniforms and everything, ano sa!" Saso added, Kira's eyes sparkling at the thought.

"But we'll need a name…" Kiro stated, all of them thinking hard for a moment before Mizuki stopped drinking his soda for a moment and stated,

"The Chakra-Mark Musketeers."

"Oh, you mean like the Three Musketeers?" Saso asked, Mizuki nodding.

"This is going to be awesome!" Ongakuhana cheered before taking Kira's hand and asking, "You want to go dance to celebrate?" Kira's blush went up two-fold before she smiled,

"Yes."

* * *

><p>"As I see the next generation of your loyal citizens," Itachi read to himself as he wrote a report to Rokubi early so he could just have Sasuke mail it when he got home. He watched the children all have fun dancing and enjoying the sweets before he added, "I know that they will grow up to be as honorable and civil as their parents before them. It also reminds me to ask something I wanted to ask you when you first took me on as a student…"<p>

* * *

><p>"'How and when did you get <em>your<em> chakra-mark?'" Rokubi read as he relaxed in the large baths of the palace where he and the other celestials dwelled. He was just about to begin a response when there was a loud laugh followed by a splash of water: Sanbi had jumped in, splashing the weasel-deity with water.

"Hey!" Sanbi called as he swam over, "Is that from Itachi?" Without so much as a question, the shark-deity took the paper and read it before smiling, "Are you going to tell him?" Rokubi looked at his hand, the calligraphy-brush mark on it bringing back embarrassing moment of the past, before he blushed and shook his head, "Maybe, maybe not…"

"Hm…" Sanbi hummed, cleaning his hands that held a chakra-mark of a drum. He then sat himself closer to Rokubi, the brunette deity sighing,

"I don't know _what_ I see in you."

"You love me." Sanbi chuckled, kissing Rokubi's neck and relishing the shivers that the weasel-deity emitted. Rokubi glared at his husband for a bit before shaking his head,

"Though I don't know why.", then he brought him down for a kiss.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yayz, The Chakra-Mark Musketeers have been united! So that's all I have to say for this week, because I did do a lot of updating. **

**Monday I put up a new saga in my Hetalia fic 'Maman'... **

**Today I updated this story... **

**Oh, just a note: From the next chapter on the story will be getting a bit... _darker_. What does that mean? Well, you'll just have to keep reading and find out! Thanks for reading, please review! **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	26. The Art of the Dress Part 1

**A/N: Okay, don't have a lot of time peoples! I'm literally watching the clock as I'm putting this update up otherwise I'll have to walk home in the rain! **

**Thanks to: Waterbomb22, Alexa Hiwatari, izzy1229anime, Zetsu's Rose, and FMJ26. **

**And people should already know the disclaimer by now, so fuck it. **

**Warning for singing! up ahead. Let's read.**

* * *

><p>"Don't forget your lunch!" Inside the homeboutique of Sasori and Deidara, the red-haired scorpion-demon was handing his son Saso a delicately designed lunch-box just as the blonde child was about to walk out the door.

"Thank you." Saso nodded, taking the box before looking at the mirror by the door. He gave a focused stare at his reflection before snapping his fingers, the tints on his hair turning from blue to green and his eyes shifting from aquamarine to blue. "Much better." He commented, now matching his and his doll's outfits of the day to a T.

"Have a good day!" Sasori called as Saso walked out of the door and met up with Mizuki and Hun, the three small demons walking to classes together. "Now then…" You see, even though he had work and a few orders to fill, the boutique would be much calmer this week since Deidara had gone to Stylist's-Retreat in the grand city of Bloomingdale. So, Sasori walked around, wondering what he could do to keep himself busy.

He walked into his workshop, fabric and outfits all over with patterns and design sketches hanging on the walls. He smiled as he passed a mannequin dressed in an outstanding, flowing golden ball-gown with delicate chains of gold curving down the bottom; a shining head-band completing the outfit. Sasori had decided to get started on his and Deidara's outfits for the Shooting Star Ball as soon as they had gotten tickets (thanks to Itachi of course), and he had finished his beautiful songbird's dress first.

Yet, now that he wasn't too busy, his copper eyes blinked as they landed on a design he had been working on for some time for an outfit of his own. When he took it down from the wall and examined it, there was a small clicking and a hissing from his work table. He looked down and saw a scorpion, its tiny body a shining pale shade. "Oh Opal," Sasori spoke, addressing his pet scorpion, "Can't you just imagine it? Me and Deidara stepping out in glorious new clothes at the Shooting Star Ball in Konoha!"

Opal wasn't interested that much. She walked onto a length of wine-shaded fabric before settling down for a nap. But Sasori pulled the material from under her, Opal hissing as she had to find a new place to sleep. "Oh yes, I _did_ design it myself! Thanks so much for asking!" Sasori smiled at himself in the mirror, seeing how the fabric went with his skin.

Opal settled down on another pile of fabric, just to have it start moving as Sasori ran it through a sewing machine. She hissed and walked away, Sasori stating, "Of _course_ you can help me, Opal! Thank you." He sat her on a nearby shelf before sitting pin-cushion on top of her. The scorpion hissed, Sasori speaking, "You want to help me _more_? Oh, you're such a dear!"

Before she knew it, Opal was stuck holding measuring tape, scissors, and thread as Sasori used his magic and chakra to shape his chosen fabric to the body of his mannequin. "Now, now, don't move!" He smiled as he worked, "This won't take long at all!" Opal could only let out a pitiful hiss in response.

* * *

><p>Later on that day, the doors of the boutique were almost knocked off their hinges as Hidan knocked on it, shouting, "Sasori! Open the damn door!"<p>

"You have hands don't you?" Kakuzu frowned as he opened the door into the house, Itachi and Hidan following him inside. "Where is Sasori anyway?" Itachi readjusted the bag on his arm before he shushed the other two demons, pointing over to where Sasori was busy working on his outfit,

"He's concentrating…" The redhead had even taken out his pair of magnification-glasses so he wouldn't make a mistake _anywhere._

"What do you think he's making?" Hidan asked as they crowded behind him. Itachi answered,

"Looks like a suit."

"That _would _make sense," Kakuzu muttered, "Seeing that this _is_ a boutique." They whispered and muttered until Sasori whipped his head around, his left eye twitching as he asked,

"May I _help_ you?"

"Oh, yes. Sorry to bother you Sasori, but I need a quick favor." Itachi began, rummaging around his bag until he found a well-worn silk cloak with a few missing buttons. He sat it on the empty workspace near Sasori and asked, "Could you add a few buttons to this? It's part of my outfit for the Shooting Star Ball."

Sasori's eyes went wide as he shook his head, "No. No, no, no! You can't wear this…" He gave a pained glance to the cloak, "_Thing_ to the Shooting Star Ball! You, my dear, need an excellent _new_ outfit! A glamorous new gown that _I_ will make for you. I insist!" Itachi smiled at the offer but refused,

"That's very nice of you to offer, but I couldn't. It would be far too much work to put on you. This cloak is fine." Sasori frowned at the weasel before taking the cloak and tossing it behind him, his tail ripping it apart before he deadpanned,

"Now it's not."

"Well…" Itachi hummed, "Alright then. Thank you so much Sasori, knowing your work I'm sure that it will be amazing." Sasori smiled at his victory over Itachi and his ugly old cloak before he turned to Kakuzu and Hidan.

"What?" Kakuzu rose an eyebrow, "If you have something to say, then say it already."

"Let me guess," Sasori frowned, "You two don't want new clothes for the Ball either?" Hidan gave a shrug of his shoulders,

"Why? We were just going to wear our regular clothes anyway."

"What?" Sasori gasped in horror, "No, damn it! You absolutely _must_ wear formal attire!" Kakuzu tapped his chin for a moment before he huffed,

"Nah."

"Okay…" Sasori rolled his eyes, "How about I just tailor your… _clothes_ a bit?"

"Kuzu, just let him." Hidan nudged his husband in the shoulder, "Otherwise he won't let us get out of here!" The stitch-demon sighed,

"Fine, just don't go over-board." Sasori smiled back,

"I promise." Just then, there was a yell of,

"LOOK OUT!", before Kisame, Ivan, and Alfred crashed with a splash of water through the door and into a pile of fabric and mannequins. The shark-demon, the Baba Yaga, and the Trickster Spirit all groaned before Kisame gave a nervous chuckle,

"Sorry. The new work-out… Didn't quite _work out_." Sasori wasn't angry though, he only looked at the three males before you could literally see the light of an idea pop into his head,

"_Inspiration!_" He laughed before looking around and announcing, "I'll make a new Ball outfit for you too Kisame!" Ivan brushed himself down before asking,

"Are you speaking of the Shooting Star Ball?"

"Yes, why?"

"Could you please to be making outfits for me and my wife here as well?" Ivan asked, completely ignoring Alfred's rants of 'I'm a man, damn it!'. Sasori blinked in disbelief before asking,

"You have tickets? Wait, how did _you_ get tickets?"

"Sasori!" Kisame frowned, "How dare you challenge the power of the bromance!"

"Fine…" The redhead sighed before his smile came back up full-force, "I'll make outfits for _all_ of you, oh and Zetsu, Tobi, Sasuke, Naruto too!" He thought for a moment before he smiled, "And then I can host a fashion show starring all of you!"

"That sounds like it could be fun! Whatever a fashion-show is…" Alfred smiled, Itachi asking,

"Do you think you'd be up to it?" But Sasori had already walked over to his fabric closet and was pulling out rolls after rolls of different colored and textured fabrics,

"Oh, it will be a bit of work, but it would be a huge boost for business. And, furthermore, I could have a bit of fun since Deidara won't be back until the end of the week!" After a round of agreements filled the room, Sasori decided to get straight to work. But Kakuzu walked over and asked with a raised eyebrow,

"So all you have to do is make a different, stunning, original, _amazing_ outfit for one, two, three…" He counted off in his mind before continuing, "Counting yourself, _twelve_ demons? In no time at all?" Sasori chuckled, cutting some shapes out of the white fabric,

"Oh Kakuzu… You make it seem like it's going to be _hard_!"

* * *

><p>Those in Adamant Falls knew that when Sasori was 'in the zone', your best bet would be to leave him alone and get five miles away from his house. The windows of the houseboutique had been closed and inside, the redhead was hard at work…

Shiny black dress shoes tapped against the ground in a specific beat before a cane joined them. A black and copper top hat was lifted up, revealing Sasori's face; the redhead dressed in black and copper suit and waving the cane, two sewing machines turning on, before he sang, a flourish of trumpets, saxophones, and drums creating a jazzy atmosphere,

"_Thread by thread, _

_Stitching it together… _

_Itachi's dress,_

_Cutting out the patterns snip by snip!"_ He snapped his fingers, a pair of scissors cutting out a dress pattern out of scarlet silk,

"_Making sure the fabric fits just nicely! _

_Oh and such a color, _

_It's so hip! _

_Always have to keep in mind my pacing!"_ The fabric floated down to a mannequin, Sasori inspecting it as he added,

"_Making sure the clothes correctly facing, _

_I'm stitching up… _

_Itachi's dress..!"_ He looked at his work before the instruments played him off to his next bit of work.

* * *

><p>Opal had been resting on layers of ruby-shaded fabrics and gold and green material when it was snatched under here, rolling her about as Sasori sang,<p>

"_Yard by yard, _

_Fussing with the details…"_ Sasori quickly cut all the fabric into the patterns of two kimonos and set them up, looking at the ruby fabric,

"_Jeweled hairpins, _

_And don't you know that stitches work just fine?" _Opal had found a ruby hair-pin to play with but Sasori took it away and set it besides the ruby-embossed kimono, before adding a simple yet stunning stitch-pattern to the sleeves of the green and gold kimono,

"_Make them something perfect to inspire_

_Even though they hate formal attire! _

_Must mind those all those tiny details,_

_Even though they're more concerned with sales! _

_These are Kakuzu and Hidan's new clothes..!"_

* * *

><p>The music surged up before Sasori jumped over to his drawing board and quickly sketched a poofy, Gothic Lolita-style dress with a matching hat,<p>

"_Dress-making's easy: _

_For dearest Tobi something in pumpkin!"_ He shaded the dress with an orange color pencil and made the hat cuter and pumpkin-shaped, adding a candy-shaped temporary tattoo to the image's cheek. Then he sketched a stylish hooded forest-green cloak: it had large sleeves and Sasori noted that the material had to be substantial yet light,

"_Zetsu something breezy! _

_Blend color and form to —_

_You think this looks cheesy?"_ He asked Opal, biting his lip as he expected the scorpion to reply.

* * *

><p>Sasori danced to the music filling his house, supervising all the work he was doing until he frowned. Now came the challenging group: Kisame, Ivan, Alfred, Sasuke, and Naruto. He looked into his cabinet before smiling and pulling out a roll of fabric that matched the shade of the ocean perfectly,<p>

"_Something strong! _

_Maybe a bit fetching?"_ He set another sewing machine to work before cutting out a cloak of the whitest, softest silk; the material almost looking like snow,

"_Silk of the skies, _

_Oh couldn't you just die?"_ Next came an outfit made of light, sandy material; a matching cloak that was designed to look like the majestic wings of an eagle being clipped around a mannequin's neck,

"_Making sure this fits his neck the best! _

_Don't forget the magic in the dress!"_ He rushed over and started a kimono, fiery fabric being formed with a shining image of Kyuubi No Kitsune coming from the waist down,

"_Though this rides high on his thighs,"_ Then there was a robe made of midnight-blue material that looked suited for royalty; flaming sapphire gems being sewn into the sleeves as the scorpion-demon sang,

"_He'll look just dashing; _

_Lucky guy! _

_By all I am,_

_They will learn how to dress!"_

* * *

><p>Sasori smiled, singing as he passed all the outfits that were being made under his supervision,<p>

"_Piece by piece! _

_Snip by snip!"_ Itachi's dress was given some black lace sleeves before a pair of simple but sexy black lace-up sandals was added,

"_Laces up! _

_Shoulders fit! _

_Thread by thread!"_ An iron ran over Kakuzu's kimono, the ruffles on Tobi's dress being fluffed up for extra measure,

"_Primped and pressed! _

_Yard by yard! _

_Never stressed!"_

Sasori, more than pleased with his work slid to the center of it all and belted out,

"_And that's the art of the dress~!"_

* * *

><p>"Ow!"<p>

"Hey, watch it!"

"Fuck, that was my foot!"

All these and more could be heard as Sasori made all his friends/clients walk into his workshop; the space being darkened for a more suspenseful effect. "That's it, keep your eyes closed until I say…"

"Why? We cannot see anyway." Ivan stated, Sasori frowning a bit before he smiled, brushing a hand through his messy hair,

"Is everyone ready to be amazed?" They nodded, Zetsu having to hold Tobi from bouncing up and down. "Okay! Behold!" The lights were switched on…

And everyone gasped, looks of shock on their faces. And not the good kind.

Rows and rows of beautiful, gorgeous clothing all rested on mannequins. Sasori beamed, "_These_ are your new outfits!" He walked over between the noble-looking green and gold, stitched kimono and the ruby-themed kimono he had made before he asked, "What do you think of your clothes _now_ Kakuzu? Hidan? Pretty amazing I bet!" Opal had clicked her way over to the slender, blood-scarlet gown with ebony sleeves, settling between the sexy sandals before Sasori smiled,

"I had this dress in mind the moment I met you Itachi! Simple yet sexy with elegance all around. Just so you all know, I designed each and every dress with every demon's talents and personality in mind!" Sasori walked over to a sleeveless, ocean-blue trench coat with matching boots and sapphire choker,

"Kisame, it took me quite a while to get the color _just_ right! But you love it, right?"

Next was a snow-white silk cloak and ensemble that would seem fit on a dignitary from a frozen kingdom, "Ivan, you just _scream_ winter to me, so I went with my heart and composed this number here!"

Then there was the pant-suit with the cloak that looked like a giant, graceful eagle had taken rest on the back of it. "Alfred, as a free spirit, I wanted your outfit to _soar_ through the skies!"

Next up, a hooded cloak of viridians and forest greens; matching gloves held hints of leave-designs and feathers, "I just _know_ you're going to _love_ yours Zetsu! It just _screams_ spring!"

Sasori moved over to the fiery-shaded kimono that he had decided to make single sleeved, one arm being stylishly bare. "Your fiery spirit will be well-shown off with this number, hm Naruto-kun?"

Opal crawled onto the royal, midnight blue robes with matching crown-band and simple boots, "Sasuke, you're going to have to beat the girls off with a stick when you walk in with _this _baby!"

Finally, the pumpkin-shaded, frilly, bright, happy Gothic Lolita-style dress with matching pumpkin hat and shiny buckled-shoes, "And Tobi, look! Pumpkins, your favorite!"

The redhead had to take a breather, his presentation and his obvious tiredness showing for a bit before he straightened himself out and asked, "Aren't they _all_ terrific?"

The other demons were silent, eyes wide as they looked at the outfits.

Sasori widened his smile, left eye twitching.

The others were still quiet before Itachi gulped and began, "Wow… They're…"

"Yeah, they're really…" Kisame trailed off, clearing his throat.

"They sure are…" Hidan gave a nervous smile, "Something."

"Yes!" Itachi snapped his fingers, "_Something_!"

"Tobi loves something!" Tobi cheered, "Its Tobi's favorite!" Ivan coughed,

"Great work." But then Zetsu sighed,

"They're… nice." Sasori was astonished, asking,

"Well, what's the matter? Don't you like them?" Naruto played with his fingers a bit, offering,

"They're very nice…" Sasuke looking away before he spoke,

"And we're grateful that you worked so hard on them.", almost automatically. But Alfred immediately piped up,

"Mine's just not as cool as I was imagining!"

"Dorogoy!" Ivan hit the blonde on the shoulder, Alfred whining,

"I was raised to tell the truth, damn it!"

"What we're all saying," Kakuzu spoke up, still-frowning at his outfit, "Is that they're not what we had in mind." They all agreed. For a moment, Sasori had a look on his face that would make a dragon think twice. But all of a sudden, he combed his hair straight and flashed a smile, saying,

"More than alright! I can re-do them!" His left eye was twitching like crazy as he took all the clothes and put them in a closet; locking them up.

"Sasori, no…" Zetsu gently spoke, "You don't have to, they're fine." Sasori had found some chains and was coiling them about the closet, gritting out,

"But I want them to be _better_ than fine! I want you to say that they're _perfect_!"

"You sure?" Hidan raised an eyebrow, "We don't want to impose." Sasori shook his head, pushing the closet away,

"It's no _imposition…_ I insist!_"_

"Well," Itachi stated, "Thanks again Sasori." And with that, everyone left to go about their daily business. When they were walking out the door, Sasori was chuckling, waving them off. But when he was gone, he fell to the floor and asked himself,

"Akasuna Sasori, _what_ have you gotten yourself _into_?"

* * *

><p>The next morning found a frazzled, sweaty, pale Sasori working away sewing more fabric when the bell on the boutique door rang, signaling that someone had come in. It turned out to be Zetsu, the plant-demon asking, "You wanted to see me Sasori?"<p>

"Zetsu, darling!" Sasori rushed up and took the green-haired demon's hand and pulling him into the changing room, "Your new _new_ outfit is ready! I completely revised it and I _know_ you're going to love it!"

* * *

><p>Zetsu looked at his reflection in the mirror as he now wore a green suit with a golden leaf pin and a breezy jade jacket. He frowned at the sight but he stated, "I… love it." Sasori wasn't amused,<p>

"You're just saying that."

"Oh no, I do." Zetsu insisted, "It's… nice."

"Nice?" Sasori asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Nice."

"If you don't like it, you should just tell me!" Sasori huffed, Zetsu waving his hands in defense,

"But I _do_ like it."

"Wait a minute," Sasori narrowed his tired, copper eyes; bags beginning to form underneath them, "'Like' it or 'love' it?" Zetsu started to back up as the redhead stalked towards him, replying,

"Both?"

"_Which is it_?" Sasori gritted out as he kept walking towards his friend, the other demon gulping in anxiety,

"Please stop coming towards me like that…"

"Then just tell me what you really think!"

"No, that's okay…" Before long, Zetsu was trapped between Sasori and the wall, the scorpion-demon badgering him on,

"Tell me…"

"I like it…" Zetsu actually began to shiver, Sasori hissing,

"Tell me, tell me, _tell me_!"

"Alright!" Zetsu stood up, "Since you _really_ want to know…" Sasori watched as Zetsu took a notepad and pencil from his pocket. He wrote down a few things before taking a deep breath and beginning, "The arm-size is too loose, the under-shirt color doesn't go with the coat, the lapels are _clearly_ machine-stitched, the pant legs are uneven, this fabric looks like wool when cotton would have done just fine, you used a back-stich on the suit when it _clearly_ called for a front-stitch or even a blanket-stitch, the overall design seems better suited for a department store rather than the chicest couture."

Sasori just stood there, his face in a slack-jawed expression and his eyes wide even when Zetsu sighed, "But, you know… Whatever you want to do is fine."

* * *

><p>The trumpets, drums, and saxophones had been started up again as Sasori sewed some badly decorated fabric with chakra-designs. Itachi was pacing in front of the scorpion-demon's workspace as he explained, "Now the lines of chakra and magic on my cloak must be technically accurate: fire chakra is more rigid than fire <em>magic<em>, not the other way around…"

"_Stitch by stitch! _

_Stitching it together!_

_Deadlines loom!"_ He put the new fabric on a mannequin and winced as he saw the non-fitting shape, and from also the burning in his chest. He sighed and sang to himself,

"_Don't you know the client's always right? _

_Even though my fabric choice was __**perfect!**__"_ He rushed to where Tobi was playing around with a roll of glow-in-the-dark fabric,

"_Have to get them all done by tonight! _

_Tobi that color's too damn obtrusive, _

_Wait until you see it in the light!"_ The redhead opened the window, allowing some light to shine and change the fabric's color; Tobi simply rolling it around himself and Sasori groaning,

"_I guess that I… _

_Have to sew them together..!"_

Tobi looked to Sasori and smiled, "Don't you think that Tobi's outfit would look neat with some rainbows?"

"Well, I—"

"Lollipops?"

"You see—"

"Balloons?"

"Well –"

"Do it!" Tobi beamed.

* * *

><p>"<em>Hour by hour! <em>

_One more change!"_ Sasori sang as he tried to figure out how to blend orange and glow-in-the-dark green together,

"_I'm sewing them together! _

_Bearing the great pains!"_ He hissed as his chest began hurting again.

* * *

><p>He was measuring Zetsu's legs, his arms getting tangled in the measuring-tape, <em>"Zetsu you're putting me in a bind!"<em>

The redhead rushed into the lobby where Kisame was sitting; the shark yawning as he rushed by and asked, _"Kisame, __**what**__ is on your mind? _

_Dear gods, there's simply not much time!"_

"_Don't forget Kakuzu's boots must shine..!"_ He sighed as he shined the stitch-demons work-shoes. Afterwards, he showed the brunette the clothing plans he had,

"_Tailoring is easy! _

_Every customer's call,"_ When Kakuzu frowned and shook his head, Sasori sighed, ripping the designs apart,

"_Brings a whole new revision _

_Have to pick up the pace, _

_But stay to my vision!"_

* * *

><p>"Eagle wings have only so many feathers," Alfred explained as he dropped off a basket full of feathers so Sasori could make him a type of headdress, "But I'm sure you'll figure it out!"<p>

* * *

><p>Zetsu smiled as he unrolled an aged design of an ancient, long-since-forgotten-in-the-fashion-industry, Victorian-style suit and hat, "French Haute-Couture. Do you think you can handle this?" Sasori groaned but got some more fabric out anyway.<p>

* * *

><p>Sasori stood in front of Kakuzu and Hidan sitting on the couch, the cat-demon asking, "What if it rains?" Kakuzu hummed in thought before he snapped his fingers, announcing,<p>

"Galoshes!"

"Galoshes…" Sasori's left eye spasmed.

* * *

><p>"Your work is fine…" Sasuke spoke to the scorpion-demon, "But I was thinking more of a…" The dragon pulled out a music magazine, the front page having his favorite band, all dressed in "Leather and spikes kind of feel."<p>

'Little bastard…' Sasori hissed mentally, 'Doesn't he know how _hard_ leather is to work with?'

* * *

><p>Naruto looked through Sasori's design books before he gasped in delight as he found what looked like an orange cloak with long fox-ears and nine tails, "How about this?"<p>

"But that's from my Halloween costume guide!" Sasori cried out in shock.

* * *

><p>"Could you perhaps go in a more <em>simple<em> direction, my friend?" Ivan asked as Sasori removed pieces, one by one from a mannequin. "More." Another piece went. "More." Sasori gritted his teeth as he removed something else. "More." Just as Sasori followed the directions, Ivan shouted, "Too much!"

'Are you shitting me with this?' Sasori whined to himself.

* * *

><p>"More balloons!" Tobi cheered, Sasori frowning as he tied some balloons to the mannequin's outfit in front of Tobi. The joy-demon shook his head, "Less balloons." Sasori took them away before Tobi called out, "More candy!" The scorpion-demon was about to sprinkle some candies onto the outfit before Tobi sighed, "Less candy. Oh, Tobi knows: streamers!"<p>

"Streamers?" Sasori asked, an incredulous look on his face. But Tobi pouted,

"_Whose_ dress is this?"

"Streamers it is!" Sasori gave a tortured smile as the pain in his chest grew.

* * *

><p>Then came the biggest hurdle of all. Kisame was sitting on the work-desk, looking bored as Sasori fussed with a potential outfit. The red-haired demon sewed and snipped, constantly looking back to Kisame for input. But after thirty minutes, he finally huffed, "Aren't you going to say to change something too?"<p>

"No," Kisame replied, "I just want my outfit to look manlier." Sasori was a bit confused,

"Do you not like the color?"

"The color's fine, just make it look manlier." Kisame sighed, Sasori asking,

"Do you like the shape?"

"The shape's _fine_!" Kisame insisted, "Just make the whole thing manlier!" He thought for a second, looking at the outfit, before he stated, "The whole thing needs to be about 20% manlier." Sasori groaned, hitting his head against the mannequin's chest.

* * *

><p>"<em>All we ever want is indecision!"<em> Tobi sang, Kisame belting out,

"_All we really like is what we know!" _

"_You must balance style with adherence!"_ Itachi smiled as Sasori crawled his way over to his sewing machine, Zetsu singing,

"_Making sure we have a good appearance!" _

"_Even if you simply have to fudge it!"_ Hidan laughed, all of the demons crowding around Sasori as they chimed,

"_Make sure they stay within our budgets!"_ Sasori sighed, starting the sewing machine up again,

"_I must over-come intimidation; _

_Remember it's all in the presentation~!"_

* * *

><p>As Sasori raced around putting the final touches on everything, the trumpets were blasting out their finale,<p>

"_Piece by piece! _

_Snip by snip!"_ He changed Itachi's dress-shoes,

"_Laces up! _

_Shoulders fit! _

_Thread by thread!"_ As he ironed Naruto's outfit down, he was sweating and panting,

"_Primped and pressed! _

_Yard by yard! _

_Ever stressed! _

_And that's the art of the dress~!"_ The music ended just as Sasori collapsed in a pile of buttons, clips, and fabrics.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Who could count the number of memes in this chapter alone, huh? **


	27. The Art of The Dress Part 2

**A/N: I'm sorry, but who else would have said 'Well, make your own damn dress then'? in this episode?**

* * *

><p>Sasori walked away from his latest batch of work, his chest burning as he held Opal in his hands and groaned, "Oh Opal… These are the ugliest <em>things<em> I've ever made!"

The next day, Sasori had everyone sitting down to tea in the parlor as he brought out a new wardrobe. The bags under his eyes had gotten worse, along with the sheen of a feverish sweat on his brow and his chest pains that would surge up with every thought of the outfits inside the wardrobe. "Okay…" He panted, "I did _exactly_ what you all wanted me to. Don't hold back, tell me your thoughts!" He opened the wardrobe, Opal hissing at the contents. But everyone gasped before they all began to speak in earnest:

"They're perfect!" Itachi gasped, Zetsu looking at his new outfit,

"Oh my…"

"The best clothes I've ever seen!" Kakuzu commented. But Opal snapped her pincers, wanting to rip the offending pieces of cloth to ribbons.

"It's _exactly_ what I asked for!" They all thanked the scorpion-demon in unison, Sasori giving a relieved sigh.

"Thanks a lot Sasori!" Kisame shook the exhausted scorpion-demon's hand as Tobi bounced over and asked,

"Are you as happy with them as we are? Huh? Huh? Huh?"

"Well…" Sasori averted his eyes before answering, "I'm happy that all of _you_ are happy. It's just so relaxing to finally be done."

"And it's a good thing too!" Naruto smiled, "Because now I can tell you about your surprise!"

"Surprise?" Sasori asked, a bad feeling coursing through him, "What… Surprise?" The Kitsune cleared his throat before explaining,

"Well, you've heard of Francis Bonnefoy right?" Itachi nodded,

"The master of fashion from Luminescent Valley?" Naruto nodded back before saying,

"Well, I had written a letter to my Uncle and he managed to convince him to come here to watch _your_ fashion-show Sasori!"

"Wow, Sasori you have the business opportunity of a lifetime here!" Kakuzu realized, "You could sell hundreds of outfits to this guy!" As the others spoke in anticipation and congratulations to their friend, Sasori felt his breath leave him; his body flinching sporadically as he choked out,

"Francis Bonnefoy? Coming here? To see… _These_ outfits?"

"Yep!" Naruto laughed, "Get ready for _all_ your dreams to come true!"

Sasori felt like he was going to pass out, the pain in his chest not helping in the least.

* * *

><p>So, that night, a brightly lit and decorated runway had been set up in the center of town; everyone grabbing seats to see the show. Including one face that Sasori hadn't expected to see.<p>

Deidara had heard about the show that Sasori was putting on, so he decided to cut his trip short and come straight home with his new little friend: an adorable canary perched on his shoulder. And when he heard that Francis Bonnefoy was going to be there too, oh he felt positively giddy.

"Ready to see something _amazing_ Gold-dust?" He patted the small bird on the head, "You get to see your new daddy's work, un! He's a genius, I swear…"

* * *

><p>Backstage, Opal peeked her head out of the curtain, Sasori following and hyperventilating as he looked at the size of the crowd. It got worse when he gulped, eyes widening as he saw his 'executioner' of the evening. "There he is!"<p>

With shoulder-length wavy, blonde hair fluttering in the night breeze, the chicest sunglasses going along excellently with his blue coat, and an elegant bit of stubble on his chin, Francis Bonnefoy walked through the crowds before sitting in the private are that had been set aside for him. Then, with a hand bearing a magic-mark of a rose, he removed his sunglasses; dashing blue eyes ready to take in the show.

When Francis took out a notepad and pen, Sasori tried to steady his breathing, "Okay Sasori… Nothing to worry about… The clients, your friends, like their outfits… So will he…" The lights dimmed, the scorpion-demon yelping, "The lights! What's wrong with the lights? Oh my gods, it's the end of the world!" Opal hissed, reminding him, "Oh wait, that means the show is starting. Okay… Good." He went behind the curtains to try and hide form his oncoming fate.

* * *

><p>A music record was spun in the air before a demoness with long, orange hair named Tayuya (who happened to be one of Orochimaru's students before becoming a DJ) set it to play, starting the music for the show. The lights focused on the runway before Sasuke's voice spoke to the audience,<p>

"Since the beginning of time, the elite of this world have longed for fashion that _truly_ express their very souls." Everyone was leaning forward in anticipation from Sasuke's words, "After years, no, decades your wait is over! Now presenting," The curtains parted, revealing the darkened silhouettes of the demons who were going to walk down the runway, "The newest, chicest designs of Akasuna Sasori!" The lights on the stage went up…

And everyone in the audience gasped in shock and horror; Deidara's eyes went wide as he whispered, "Dear gods Danna, what have you done?" Tayuya stopped the music, she was so shocked, as they all walked, one by one, down the runway.

Itachi's… outfit was an ill-fitting cloak decorated with hastily designed swirls and symbols of the different kinds of chakras and magics of the world.

Kakuzu and Hidan were both wearing farm-working outfits that had been made of the roughest, thickest wool and in the simplest, _blandest_ colors; the cat-demon wearing red and white galoshes and having the symbol of Jashin stitched onto the back of his outfit.

Zetsu… looked like a big, poofy flower. His outfit's layers all being far too many and far between.

Kisame **(A/N: TG- Must I describe it? I mean, really? … Fine.)** was basically wearing a pair of swim-trunks with a torn, jean vest on his shoulders.

Ivan was dressed in the humblest white shirt and pants you could find.

Alfred, on the other hand, whooped and hollered as he walked down the runway: wearing beige pants and an over-sized feather headdress.

There was a jingling of chains and locks long before a leather-clad Sasuke strolled down the runway, looking like a washed-up Visual Kei star.

After the dragon, Naruto walked out wearing his Kyuubi No Kitsune costume.

And finally, Tobi bounced along the stage wearing a glow-in-the-dark clown suit with balloons tied to his sleeves and an over-sized cupcake hat on his head.

You could just take a simple look around the audience to see that _no one_ was impressed by the clothes. Hell, some of them looked like they were going to vomit on the spot. The group of 'models' had all gotten on top of the rotating pedestal, allowing their outfits to be shown off. But Kakuzu looked at their expressions and asked, "Why are they all staring at us like that?"

Itachi looked around before he looked at his clothes before gulping, "Oh boy."

"Are you thinking that we were over-doing it?" Ivan asked Kisame, the shark shaking his head,

"No…" But he looked at Sasuke's leather, Alfred's feathers, and his own swim-trunks before giving a nervous smile, "Maybe a little?"

In his private seating, Francis had actually managed to fill up his notebook with negative comments before he shook his head and chuckled, "Is… Is zis a _joke_? Where are the cameras because you all _cannot_ be serious!" When no one moved, he laughed, "Okay zen! Allow me to give a quick synopsis: Zese amateurish designs look like a bastardish cross-breeding project of everything _but_ ze kitchen sink!"

Backstage, upon hearing the laughter and scathing comments, Sasori pushed aside the kitchen sink that Tobi wanted to take on-stage with him.

"But honestly!" Francis stood and kept on, "Those _zings_ are a travesty! Un disaster! Zose _abominations_ are the most hideous zings zat I have _ever_ seen! Whoever made them should be ashamed! Who is responsible for zis?" The rose-demon gave a flip of his hair before adding, "Who is to blame for subjecting our eyes to zese horrors _and_ wasting my valuable time?"

Sasori gulped and tried in vain to hide behind Opal, "Hide me!" He whimpered, Opal covering her face in shame. The curtains opened wider, revealing the frazzled, exhausted, sweaty, traumatized scorpion-demon refusing to move; rooted to the spot from fear, embarrassment, and self-disappointment.

* * *

><p><em>I should never pick up a sewing needle again… <em>

_I should pluck my eyes out and cut off my fingers for composing such ugly things… _

_I should never have called myself a tailor or a fashionisto… _

_Lord Juubi… I've failed you…_

* * *

><p>Two weeks after the catastrophic bomb that was the fashion show, the majority of the group was sitting around Kakuzu and Hidan's porch at Goldleaf Farms. After the majority of the morning had been silent, Kisame decided to break the ice: "Do you think Sasori is okay?"<p>

"He did seem kind of broken up about what Francis said," Kakuzu sighed, "But he _should_ be fine." There was the sound of flapping in the sky, everyone looking up and seeing a bird with gorgeous golden feathers.

"Is that Deidara?" Tobi asked, waving as the bird landed and shifted in the blonde's normal form. But the blonde looked nothing like his normal, bubbly self as he walked over. His sapphire eyes were filled with fury and his face was contorted in a scowl. Itachi stood to greet the bird-demon,

"Deidara, I haven't seen you since you got back from—"

The crack of a firm, powerful slap rang through the air as Deidara's hand made contact with the weasel-demon's cheek. Everyone was in shock for a good long moment before Kisame grabbed Deidara's hand and yelled,

"What the hell is your problem?"

"Get the _fuck _off of me!" Deidara screamed, clawing his way out of the shark-demon's grasp, shouting, "This is _your_ fault just as much as his, un!"

"What are you talking about Deidara?" Itachi rubbed his stinging cheek, trying to figure out what the bird-demon was going on about. Deidara's anger soon dissipated before tears began to form in his eyes,

"Why did you do it, un? How could you force him to do something that goes against his soul and nature? He hasn't been himself for days, un…"

"Deidara." Hidan narrowed his eyes, "What's going on?" The blonde gave an angry chirp before crying out,

"Thanks to _you_, _all_ of you, my fiancé tried to kill himself!"

"What?" Everyone shouted, Kakuzu shaking his head,

"All over a few outfits? Isn't that a bit over-dramatic?"

"Really?" Deidara raised a thin eyebrow, "Why don't you come over and tell _him_ that?"

* * *

><p>So they all rushed over to the houseboutique and as soon as they walked in, they noticed that half of the lights in the building had been shut off or broken. They soon found the door to Sasori's workshop, Saso standing in front of it with a tray of food, "Father… Please come out and _eat_ something."

"Go _away_ Saso…" Sasori's weak voice gritted out from inside. Saso sighed and turned, whispering,

"Mother, it's been two _weeks_." The bird-demon knelt down and ruffled Saso's hair, gently saying,

"It's going to be alright, un. Go play with your dolls, okay?" Saso nodded and walked off before Deidara knocked on the door and called out,

"Sasori no Danna? It's me, Deidara."

"Leave me be…"

Deidara sighed, thinking just _how_ he was going to tell his husband that their friends were there to see him when Tobi bounced up and knocked on the door, chiming,

"Sasori-san? You okay in there? We haven't seen you for _weeks_!" He flinched when the sound of breaking glass could be heard against the door, followed by a weak groan of,

"Get _out_ of my house…"

"This is getting ridiculous!" Kakuzu huffed, pushing Tobi away from the door and shouting, "Sasori! This has gotten _way_ out of hand! Stop acting like a little bitch and get out here!"

There was an intense silence; like the calm at the center of a tornado.

Suddenly, the door cracked open, Sasori growling as he jumped out and pinned Kakuzu to the ground with his hands of unkempt fingernails. The scorpion-demon looked like a wreck: his normally groomed hair was growing nappy down his neck, his skin was sickly pale, his eyes were glossy with thick, dark bags underneath them, and he wasn't even wearing a shirt. Kakuzu winced from pain and the overwhelming smell of alcohol on the redhead before he hissed,

"Oh, isn't that easy for _you_ to say? Well, I'll have you know that you _all_ have single-handedly _ruined_ my _life_!" Everyone was shaken at the normally elegant demon's frantic demeanor, but when Hidan saw the redhead's tail poised for attack, he brought out his scythe and muttered in a no-nonsense tone,

"Lower the tail… Or I'll cut it off, I shit you not." Sasori gritted his teeth, not even acknowledging Hidan's threat. But he soon jumped off, laughing in an unsettling manner,

"Gods, what did I do? I try to be a good friend, perform an act of charity, and _this_ is how I am to be repaid: the whole world _laughing_ at me; making me and my glorious boutique…" He rushed over and pressed himself against one of the walls, "Oh, my _wondrous_ boutique! How I raised you from nothing. My _baby!_ Now look at us: jokes, jests to the fashion-world!"

"Sasori, you're scaring me…" Zetsu gulped. Sasori blinked those glassy eyes of his before he grinned and laughed,

"I used to be somebody! I used to make gorgeous clothes and attire!" Sasori cackled for a moment before turning to everyone, "Did you know? I gave up three years of my life, _three years_, to train how to make the best outfits in the world! I trained under the deity of tailoring himself: _Juubi No Iruka_!" At that, he uncovered the area above his chest (just above where his heart would be) and revealed a scar. But it wasn't an injury-scar, it was more like a tattoo and it had a sewing needle circled around by a gold-chain. "He was kind enough to take me under his wing and what do _I_ do?" Sasori hummed before jumping in front of the group and screaming, "HUH? I'll tell you." He walked away before laughing, "I _shit all over it!_"

"Couldn't you always," Alfred offered, "Remake them and try again?" Sasori looked like he wanted to strangle the Trickster. But he smiled, only smiled, turning around.

"Kill me!" He fell to his knees and shouted to the ceiling, "Kill me, kill me, kill me, _please_ just _KILL ME..!"_ When his voice lost its mania and reverted to heavy sobbing, Deidara picked him up and began to carry him to his private room. Kisame cleared his throat, saying,

"Maybe Zetsu and I should help?" Deidara glared at all of them before muttering,

"Haven't you already done enough? You can show yourselves out, un."

* * *

><p>Three more days passed, life struggling but failing to go on. Every time that one of the demons passed by Sasori and Deidara's house, all they could hear from outside would be screaming, cursing, and the breaking of glass.<p>

* * *

><p>It all came to a head when Itachi was working in the library and Iruka, the schoolteacher, needed to check out a history book. "Itachi?" He asked,<p>

"Yes? Is there something you needed help with?"

"Well…" Iruka sighed before he began, "You know Akasuna Sasori and Azumoji Deidara right? Saso's parents?" Itachi nodded, wincing at the mention of Sasori's name, "Well, usually I wouldn't bother, but Saso has been coming to class looking more and more sleepless with each passing day. And the other day…"

* * *

><p>'<em>He had the most awful bruise on his arm…'<em> That statement kept ringing through Itachi's head as he walked into the spa, hoping to find Deidara. Sure enough, the bird-demon was teaching a small group of the spa-attendants how to make healing cream. Itachi flinched as he saw the long scar splitting the blonde's once flawless cheek. But he waited until the spa-attendants all left before walking in and asking, "Deidara, can I have a minute?" Deidara narrowed his eyes before glancing at the clock, still packing his bag,

"You have five, un." Itachi sighed before saying,

"This thing with Sasori is getting out of control. Look what he's done to you and Saso!" Deidara ran a trembling finger down the scar on his face before shaking his head,

"It'll heal soon enough. If that's all you needed to say, Itachi, I have to get home before Sasori finds something new to try and slit his throat with, un." Deidara found his way blocked by the weasel-demon, scarlet eyes glaring at him before he stated,

"No Deidara. You are going to tell us _why_ Sasori is reacting this way to everything so we can help him!"

"Us?" The blonde asked and before he knew it, the rest of the group had come in through the door. He wanted to get home, but he trusted that as long as Saso was around Sasori wouldn't try anything. He sighed before saying, "Danna has been taking care of me since we were kids, un. It was only by fate that we crossed paths and he offered to make sure that I had a home, because honestly un…" Deidara subconsciously rubbed his arms, "There was no way in hell that I could go back to where I came from…"

* * *

><p>"<em>I won't ask you where you wandered here from," A younger Sasori, around twelve, spoke to the blonde bird-demon who was struggling to keep up with him; his arms broken and bloody, "But maybe you'll come to tell me in time." The blonde blinked, rushing to keep up, before Sasori turned and handed the blonde one of the spare cloaks from his class. "But I'll take care of you, don't worry." The bird-demon carefully accepted the gift, checking it for anything bad (paranoia still flooding his mind), before he wrapped it around his shivering form. <em>

"_Thank you…" _

* * *

><p><em>The two young demons walked along the darkened halls of Adamant Falls and before long they came to an old, decrepit building. Deidara gave a weary glance towards the rickety house before Sasori smiled, "This is my boutique!" <em>

"_Boutique?" Deidara asked, nonetheless following the scorpion-demon inside. The interior wasn't as dilapidated as the exterior, but Sasori _did_ have to pull the blonde out of harm's way as a wooden support beam fell from the ceiling. _

"_Yeah," Sasori explained as he tucked Deidara into the only cot of blankets he had, "It's my dream to one day be able to make this place into somewhere that people from all around will come to buy clothes from me." _

"_That's a nice dream." Deidara smiled, his body giving into the humble comfort, "It must be nice… I don't know… What I want to do…" Sasori smiled at the blonde's sleepy voice before whispering back, _

"_Don't worry. We'll find something."_

* * *

><p><em>Sasori and Deidara had soon gotten used to living together: the scorpion-demon was able to make small bits of change for them to eat by hemming scarves and small items for demons in town while Deidara kept the house, sometimes searching the surrounding forests and finding special herbs and such that he found of great worth. <em>

_But even as their little day to day lives grew on them, Sasori's dreams were too big to be satiated with such a small existence. So one day, when a fifteen year-old Sasori was making a delivery, he happened to pass a demon who was posting a bulletin on the town bulletin-board. When they were done, Sasori walked over and skimmed over it. _

_He had finally found the needle to the thread of his dream. _

* * *

><p>"<em>Juubi's apprentice?" Deidara asked as Sasori tried to find the best of his small amount of work tools to pack. Sasori nodded, <em>

"_Yes, don't you see? _This_ is the opportunity I've been waiting for!" You see, the ten celestials were more than just the watchers and defenders of this world. They also knew that everyone needs a hobby, so they leisurely grew their expertise in different areas. _

_Juubi No Iruka, the ten-tailed dolphin, was a fashion prodigy. So for him to announce that he needed an apprentice was quite a spectacular event indeed; not even taking in the fact that out of all the celestials, Juubi had the biggest head, so to speak. _

"_So…" Sasori sighed as he stood at the door of his house, Deidara seeing him off, "I guess this is where I depart." He was expecting a soft good bye or good luck, but he ended up surprised as Deidara stepped forward and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. _

"_Promise to come back safely, okay un?" Sasori, who was still in a bit of shock from the impact, could only nod. But then, he shook his head and asked, _

"_Deidara, can you promise me something?" _

"_Anything!" _

"_When I get back…" Sasori began, clearing his throat, "I want you to have a response to the following question: Deidara… Will you marry me?" The blonde gasped, _

"_What?", Sasori waving his hands, _

"_Don't try to answer now, I want you to have as much time as you need." The redhead readjusted his small travel-pack before walking off, "Take care of yourself Deidara. I've left enough money for a few month worth of food after what's left in the house runs out!"_

* * *

><p>"He was gone," Deidara in the present day gritted out, clutching his hands into the fabric on his lap, "For <em>three years<em>. I would have starved to death if the gods didn't point me in the direction of cosmetics and hair." The room was quiet until Tobi asked,

"Was it all worth it?" Deidara shook his head,

"You'd have to ask Danna that. Oh wait, you can't: he's lost his freaking mind, un!"

"We really have ruined everything for Sasori." Zetsu whispered, Kisame shouting,

"Then we need to stop the fucking pity-party and make this right!"

"And how are you suggesting that we do that?" Ivan asked. They all sat and thought for a while, the sun-setting outside the window. Then, Itachi gasped as he remembered,

"Sasori never destroyed his original work!"

"What are you talking about Itachi?" Hidan asked, Itachi explaining,

"The original outfits that Sasori made before we had to put in our own two-cents, he only locked them up!"

"He's right!" Zetsu added, "And there was one outfit that he had to stop working on when we all started bothering him."

"That was probably his own outfit for the Ball, un." Deidara sighed. But soon, they all came together: forming a plan that they hoped would return the Sasori that they all knew and loved.

* * *

><p>Cooped up in bed two days later, Sasori downed <em>another<em> bottle of wine before lighting up a pipe, because you can't drink without smoking, right? **(A/N: Public Service Announcement – I personally find drinking more respectable than smoking and you can **_**definitely**_** do one without the other.)** He sighed, reminiscing, "Oh yes my friends… My sweet…" He held up a new bottle of wine before taking a deep inhale of the pipe, "My rich friends… I really suffered all those years, forced Deidara to suffer, so I could ruin myself like this." He looked to his chest, that mark on his chest still causing his heart to hurt before he thought back to his training days…

* * *

><p><em>Sasori was in hell. <em>

_That was all there was to it. _

_The young scorpion-demon should have known that something was up when he walked up to the Celestial Palace. When he had told the guards that he was there to try-out for Juubi's apprenticeship, they both laughed at him before one of them blew a powerful trumpet. In a flourish of lights and tasteful confetti before Juubi No Iruka walked out of the palace. _

"_Oh, another one?" Juubi huffed, "Fine, let's see even though they'll probably be sent home by the end of the day." Sasori gulped as Juubi looked him over from the doorway before suddenly saying, "Okay, whatever. Do try to present something of worth for me. Otherwise," He smirked, "You can just take your tacky little bag there and go home…" _

_To date, three months later, Sasori would have tried 90 attempts to impress the dolphin-deity just to have each and every one of them flung back into his face with a spat of an insult and a sneer. _

_He was hungry, he was tired, and he missed Deidara. "Deidara…" Sasori coughed out, sitting in his haphazard shelter. It was winter at the Celestial Palace and though some of the other celestials had been kind (Rokubi offered him some food every day, Sanbi suggested that he go home every day), the redhead was shivering like a leaf as he glided a needle through some fabric; trying to make a sweater. "I'm getting that apprenticeship…" He promised himself, wincing as the needle pricked his already frost-bitten fingers. _

"_Alright…" Sasori gasped, turning to see Juubi walking over to him: dressed in a fantastic, silk cloak, "Let's see what you've done." Sasori gulped before handing the sweater over. The gold-haired deity turned the sweater over in his hands, a bored expression in his eyes. _

_Abruptly, Sasori found the sweater thrown back in his face before Juubi sighed, "How _badly_ do you want to be my apprentice?" _

"_Really badly." Sasori bit back tears as Juubi walked off. "Damn!" He fell to his knees, coughing and crying at the same time. How was he going to explain to Deidara that after being gone so long he was going to come back a failure? He couldn't. "Hey, you there. Boy!" The scorpion-demon looked over and saw Juubi standing over yonder. "Stop going by what you think people want to see me in. Listen to the fabric, to the season, and soon…" He chuckled before singing and walking off, "You'll learn the art of the dress…" _

"_The art…" Sasori asked as Juubi left, "Of the dress?" _

* * *

><p><em>Nighttime fell, Sasori trying to listen to the last bit of fabric he had, golden silk, and trying to hear what the season had to tell him. "It's cold…" He whispered, running his fingers along the silk, "But you shouldn't be a sweater…" Taking a calming, deep breath, Sasori picked up a pair of scissors. Then, something amazing, as he looked at the fabric again, he suddenly had an image of Juubi's neck…<em>

"_Hm-hm-mm…" Juubi hummed as he came back from the salon with Shichibi, the badger-deity and the dolphin-deity parted ways and the blonde was about to go for a nice relaxing soak in the palace hot springs when he noticed a certain shine coming from the shelter of that red-haired boy. "Let me see that." _

"_Wait no," Sasori protested, "It's not done!" But Juubi's next word shocked him out of his skin: _

"_Pretty…" _

"_Huh?" Sasori blinked, watching Juubi wrap the golden scarf around his neck and smile, _

"_I'd been in the market for a new scarf but no one had the IQ points to realize that." When Juubi held a hand out to Sasori, the scorpion-demon was so confused that Juubi rolled his eyes, "Well, I'm not going to take you as my apprentices when you smell worse than a barn! Come on." _

* * *

><p>All that flashback had taught Sasori was how unworthy he was of his poor, precious boutique. And especially the mark of Juubi's training that he had on his chest. Juubi <em>had<em> warned him that failure, even after training, would not be accepted on pain of death. He was truly experiencing those words now. "I don't deserve this: my family, my boutique, Deidara… I don't deserve any of it."

As he talked to himself, he walked in front of a full-length mirror. The picture that looked back at him caused him to cackle, "Exile! _That's_ the answer!" He rubbed his chin-stubble, "Though I suppose that you need to go _away_ to live in exile. Where to go? What to pack? Oh," He laughed, "It's going to take me _forever_ to do all that packing!" He looked around at the pile of dirty clothes on the ground, "What do you pack for exile? Do you pack cold or warm?"

A snap of claws and a hiss from outside the window stopped the redhead's conversation with himself before he walked over, asking, "Opal?" He opened the window, immediately screaming as he saw his pet trapped up a tree, "Opal! How did you get up _there_? Never mind, Daddy's coming!"

He quickly rushed out of the house/boutique, desperate to rescue his precious pet. But when he got to said tree, he gasped as he skidded to a stop; looking up to scream, "ALFRED!"

"Yep?" The Trickster Spirit asked, sitting next to a petrified Opal.

"How _dare_ you?" Sasori gritted out, "First you ruin me, _then_ try to give my dearest pet a fucking heart-attack?"

"Well you were cooped up in your damn house for so long," Alfred explained, grabbing the scared-stiff scorpion before climbing down, "How else were we going to get you out to see _this?_" Sasori followed the blonde until he walked to the main group of demons, the scorpion-demon hissing at the thought of what these demons could be trying to do to him now; hadn't they tormented him enough?

But they all simply smiled before moving aside and showing off a mannequin dressed in an outfit that seemed all too familiar to Sasori's eyes. It was a suit made of wine-red velvet that was simply the embodiment of one word:

Royalty.

A golden chain dangled from the jacket pocket where a matching pocket-watch rested. And a sash that held a jeweled-rendition of a scorpion on it was draped along his chest. The mannequin looked like it was ready for a royal wedding, exactly what Sasori had wanted after he made Deidara's dress. His frazzled mind couldn't comprehend what he was being shown, so he circled it once…

Twice…

Three times before he asked, "What… What is..! I don't..! Wait..! What..?" Tobi bounced up and cheered,

"We all finished your suit for you!"

"Yeah," Kakuzu looked towards Zetsu, "Mostly thanks to this guy's freaky knowledge of sewing."

"Well, I like keeping Ongakuhana looking cute." The plant-demon blushed before Deidara asked,

"What do you think, un? Do you like it?" Sasori looked at the group, then his outfit, then the group again before he stated,

"No… I don't _like_ it."

"Oh, come on!" Kisame muttered under his breath, Itachi nudging him in the shoulder. But Sasori turned and flashed his heart-breaking smile before stating,

"I _love_ it." All the semes in the group cheered as Sasori went forward and inspected the work, "It's _exactly_ how I imagined it! You guys did wonderfully, for a bunch of novices…" He added the last bit underneath his breath, but no one noticed it as Alfred beamed,

"Aw, nothing to it! We just followed your designs!"

"Like we should have been doing in the first place." Ivan sighed, Itachi nodding,

"Those first outfits you made were more than perfect." They all apologized, Kisame sighing,

"You worked so hard to make those clothes the way _we_ wanted them. And we can all see how that turned out." Sasori was quiet, a calm smile on his face as he got Opal safe in his hands, until he shook his head,

"I forgive you all. And I'm sorry that I lost my head there for a bit."

"A bit?" Tobi asked, Zetsu quickly shushing him. Sasori chuckled, yet it was broken off into a groan as his chest began hurting,

"Damn… That failure of a show is forever going to haunt me if it doesn't end up killing me!" A soft chuckling came from Ivan, the Baba Yaga giving a light smile,

"Allow me to provide opportunity to fix that." He disappeared in a whirl of icy wind. Soon after, the sounds of pitiful screaming and whining could be heard as he came back with Francis Bonnefoy; the rose demon looking about ready to wet himself in fear.

"Don't hurt me, s'il vous plait! I'll do any zing, just do not hurt me! I have a date with a nice, British fairy tonight~!"

* * *

><p>"All right," Francis sighed as he took a seat on the couch in the show-room of the boutique, "Take two." A freshly groomed Sasori gulped before having Sasuke close the curtains, draping the room in darkness. There was a snap of fingers before a shining copper outline of Sasori's body appeared on stage. Francis looked on with wide eyes, getting out a new pencil and notepad.<p>

Sasori's outline took a bow before fading away, the curtains behind him opening to reveal an intricate stage that had been made to look like a rustic library. Nestled in the corner was a large, ornate sitting chair and inside it, Itachi sat dressed in the blood-scarlet gown with the ebony sleeves and the sexy black, lace-up sandals. His hair had a single red-hair extension tucked behind his ear; the sexy weasel-demon looking out into the 'audience' with dark, seductive eyes before taking a sip of wine from a conveniently placed glass of wine and beginning to read a book.

"_Hello…_" Francis blinked, shaking his head at Itachi's sensual appearance, "Zis can_not_ be ze same designer!" After that, the curtains closed and a minute later they opened up again: the stage shifting into that of a Japanese castle courtyard filled with fruit trees. With a loud 'mreow', Hidan landed from the roof, scythe in hand and his body dressed in that ruby-themed kimono and a ruby necklace with a Jashinist's symbol in the middle. And on the porch of the mansion, peeling an apple, Kakuzu sat looking like a feudal lord in his green and gold-stitched kimono.

"Simply amazing! But…" Francis whined, tossing money onto the stage, "I'm throwing my money at ze stage and nothing is happening~!"

The stage closed, opening this time to a pumpkin-patch: the whole stage giving a sweet, Halloween-feel. A giant pumpkin grew out from the center before it popped its top, candies and sweet things raining to the ground below. One of them landed on the cheek of Tobi, the joy demon dressed in his adorable, pumpkin-shaded Gothic Lolita dress with his shiny buckled shoes and his cute pumpkin-hat.

"Brilliant!" Francis gasped, "And simply adorable! I—Zut alors?" He was interrupted from his praise when the stage closed and opened to a scene of a stormy sea, thunder crashing overhead. Just as it started to rain, the seas calmed themselves so a figure could walk across them. Heavy blue military boots clapped against the water with each step, the bottom of an ocean-blue trench-coat sans sleeves waving in the powerful wind before Kisame swung his sword, a wave of water crashing against the rocks to follow it; the sapphire choker on his neck adding to his ferocity.

"Sacré bleu! Simply spectacular!" The rose-demon shouted but he shrank back into his seat when the stage closed and vines began to grow from behind the curtains. The vines pushed the curtains open, revealing a peaceful meadow in the middle of a forest. A figure dressed in a hooded cloak of viridians and leaf-greens knelt down, picking a rabbit up from the ground before they turned and lowered the hood: Zetsu shyly allowing the rabbit to nuzzle his cheek.

"Such elegance and beauty in one piece of clothing!" Francis sighed, feeling relaxed due to the tranquil scene. The curtains closed and before they opened, Francis began shivering as the temperature sank around thirty degrees. When the curtains opened, snowflakes were gently falling from the sky: landing on bare trees, cold statues, and also the white-furred hat of Ivan, the Baba Yaga's snowy white cloak ensemble shining with pure light as the snowflakes danced upon it.

"Such a wonderful piece of work on such a scary monster…" Francis whimpered, thanking the gods that the curtains closed before Ivan could hear him. This show was going _way_ better than the last one and it wasn't even over yet. The curtains opened again, revealing a bright, sunny sky; an eagle flying through the clouds as ceremonial drums and chanting could be heard. The eagle let out a mighty cry before it landed on someone's back, shifting into a cape that looked like eagle-wings. Alfred smirked as he turned around, showing off his pant-suit.

"You, ma chére, can be my desert princess _anytime_!" The blonde rose-demon sighed with a dreamy smile before the curtains closed. When they opened once more, the stage was a castle balcony at night: the deep color of the sky almost merging with the royal robes that Sasuke wore. The dragon had his boots hiked up on a footstool and his crown rested just above his horns.

"I feel as if I'm in ze presence of a young emperor…" Francis bowed a bit before the curtains closed. When they opened again, the stage showed an area surrounded by flames: Naruto laying with a group of foxes and looking so cute yet beautiful in his one-shoulder, fiery-red kimono. The Kyuubi No Kitsune design seemed to dance and smile in the fire's light.

"Now _zis_ is a fashion-show!" Francis stood and applauded, "Bravo! _Zese_ outfits are simply amazing! Who is ze mastermind behind zese works of art? Step forward at once!" The curtains closed before opening once more. This time, however, the stage didn't change from its normal appearance as Sasori and Deidara walked forward: the bird-demon in his golden, gold-chained ball-gown and Sasori dressed in his copper, gem-accented suit. They both looked ready to be wed and look good doing it in the most extravagant way possible. "Bravo! Bravo!" Francis clapped, "Magnifique! Encore!"

"Thank you…" Sasori smiled, tears dropping from his eyes as the pain in his heart finally stopped, "Thank you all…"

* * *

><p>After the show, everyone had decided to go out to the best restaurant in town to eat: Sasori offering to pay as a means of thanksway of saying sorry. Itachi was tempted to write a report to Rokubi about his experiences these past few weeks, but he decided against it. As Kisame wrapped an arm around his shoulder and offered him to share dessert, he found that he wanted to spend time with his friends as just that: time with his friends.

Just as Sasori was about to take a bite of cake, a shout of his name caused him to look up and see Francis walking over to them. "Once again, my congratulations to you on your _magnifique_ fashion-show! Now, I must talk business." The group went quiet as Sasori gestured for Francis to go on, "Would you allow me to showcase your couture in my boutique in Luminescent City?"

"The capital of fashion?" Deidara gasped, Francis nodding before Sasori agreed,

"Of course!"

"Trés bon!" Francis laughed before saying, "I will need a dozen new dresses by next Wednesday!"

"I'll get to them at once!" Sasori stated before taking Deidara's hand and adding, "_After_ I spend some quality time with my son and fiancée."

* * *

><p><strong>OMAKE<strong>

Sasori more than knew that he had a _long_ ways to go until he could be truly be forgiven for his actions. But he had to start somewhere, so after taking Saso to all of his favorite places in Adamant Falls _and_ all the way to the 'Princess Lamiere's Doll Palace' store three towns over, Sasori was finally able to relax with three key things:

Scented candles.

A Jacuzzi bath-tub.

And Deidara gently sighing and moaning beneath him: the scorpion-demon placing feather soft kisses down the blonde's chest. By this point in time, the scar on Deidara's cheek had healed up nicely, so they wouldn't have to bear with any reminders of Sasori's spell of madness.

"Danna," Deidara breathed out as Sasori's lips found a sensitive patch of skin on his stomach, "The water's going to get cold, un." Sasori only hummed before his tail reached over and clicked the temperature control button as well as the switch for the bubbles.

"I want you to be as relaxed as possible, Dei-chan." Sasori explained as he pulled his lips away, smiling a sinful grin before stating, "Because we have a lot of missed time to make up for."

"Just what do you mean by – Ah!" Deidara's question was cut off by a moan as Sasori leaned down and took his member into his mouth to start their evening…

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**And there we have it, this week's update. Yeah... I'm goign to go back to typing and doing fanart now. Thanks for reading, please review! **

**Also, on Lupina09 (my YouTube channel) I've done two fandubs of scenes from MLP. Check them out if you have the time. Thanks again~! **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	28. Beware the Adorable Menace Part 1

**A/N: Oh my God... Let me just say, I saw the MLP: FiM Season 2 premiere a few days ago... **

**Pardon my moment of horrible speech but THAT SHIT WAS INTENSE YO!**

**Seriously, I think that one episode pwned the hell out of the two part pilot of season one bar none! **

**Anyway, let's get to this update that I do _not_ like how it turned out AT ALL. **

**Let me thank: Alexa Hiwatari, Zetsu's Rose, izzy1229anime, and FMJ26. Let's read shall we? **

**God, I don't like how this chapter turned out.**

* * *

><p>"Mm…" Inside of his bakery, Tobi slept peacefully in his bedroom on the top floor. But after a few minutes, he tried to grab his blanket and found that it had disappeared. "Hm?" The joy-demon wiped at his eyes, slowly rousing up to see that he was floating above his bed. "Oh no…" He whimpered, trying to get down, "Something huge is going to happen in Adamant Falls this time?"<p>

* * *

><p>The meadows and valleys around Adamant Falls, right before the Yonko Forests began, were home to many animals and many beautiful flowers. A lily was picked up by the pale hands of Zetsu, the plant-demon sniffing it before he placed it into an already full basket of flowers. He walked away, humming with the animals that followed his footsteps. He was looking through a rosebush when a squirrel ran after him and tugged his pants leg.<p>

"Oh?" Zetsu looked down and saw the squirrel holding up a puffy, white dandelion. "Thank you, but you have to understand that these flowers are for the Ten Celestials. Only the best will do." Just then, a breeze of wind blew by and blew the seeds off, leaving the bare stem. "My apologies."

The green-haired demon hummed as he walked over to a basket of peaches that Hidan had given him (they had _far_ too many). Abruptly, a soft trilling sounded from behind a rock, causing Zetsu to yelp and jump behind the basket. "Hello..?" He carefully asked, peeking from behind his shelter.

It took a moment, but a small form crawled on top of a rock. It's perfectly round body was a deep blue and it looked over towards Zetsu with sparkling green eyes as it fluttered its translucent wings. "Hello little one." Zetsu gently spoke as he knelt in front of the creature, "I've never seen something like _you _before." The creature trilled again before fluttering over to one of the peaches and sniffing at it.

"Oh, are you hungry? Well, let me just cut you a slice of that and –" Before he could finish his sentence, the creature had floated over to the basket and practically inhaled all the peaches, pits and all, before flying and landing in Zetsu's hair. "I guess you _were_ hungry." He smiled, watching the creature nuzzle into a nap, "Aren't you the cutest thing? I have to show you to my friends!" And with that, Zetsu walked off: leaving the empty basket on the ground.

* * *

><p>Adamant Falls Library was in a hustle and bustle as Itachi dusted and swept at the same time, groaning, "Oh, come on Sasuke! This place won't clean itself!" The young dragon rolled his eyes as he carried a cart of books across the room,<p>

"It also didn't mess itself up!"

"Stop whining!" Itachi snapped, a hair frizzing out of place due to his panic. "Rokubi-sama and the other Celestials will be here _tomorrow_! So much to do… So much…" Sasuke shelved a few books, sighing at his brother's anxiety,

"Wasn't this supposed to be a simple, casual visit?"

"Sasuke, don't be naïve!" Itachi gritted out, "There's _nothing_ casual about a visit from _royalty_! This place, _all_ of Adamant Falls has to be _perfect, spic and span, without a single, isotopic thing wrong_ before they arrive! Look at this; we've barely made a _dent_!"

"Then maybe _someone_ should start reading these things one at a time!" Sasuke snapped back as he finished shelving.

"No time for fooling around…" Itachi muttered, dusting Sasuke in his flustered state, "Sasuke, get back to work!" Sasuke sighed, combing a hand through his hair before stating,

"You know, we would get a _lot _more work done if we weren't both here to drive each other crazy…"

"You're right!" Itachi gasped before handing Sasuke the broom and feather-duster, "You clean and I'll see how everyone else is doing with their preparations!"

"That's not what I –" The slamming of the front door cut Sasuke's sentence short, leaving him to clean up the messy library. "Fuck…"

* * *

><p>Itachi power-walked through the streets of Adamant Falls, sighing in relief and awe at the town's decorations. He walked across the freshly painted bridge, looking at how the trees had been decorated in various baubles and bows, various demons hard at work.<p>

Until he came to two young demons pinning up a banner that read:

"'Welcome, Honorable Ten Celest.'?" Itachi snapped, "What the hell happened to the rest of it?"

"Well, we kind of ran out of room..?" One of them explained, Itachi gritting out,

"Take it down and redo it. _Now._" Before he rushed off, the two demons sighing before doing as told.

* * *

><p>Itachi walked along, seeing a few demonesses watering a flowerbed. "Keep up the good work ladies." He commented, the two female demons giggling, before rushing into <em>Swirl<em>. Inside, two older candy-makers who would often drop off things for Tobi to sell, were setting up a buffet of sweet things when Itachi walked in, bowing,

"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Cake."

"Oh hello dearie." Mrs. Cake smiled, setting down the last tier of a ten-tiered cake. "How are you this morning?"

"Just fine," Itachi nodded, "I actually came in here to see how the sweet-half of the buffet was going along. Mr. Cake gave a light groan before stating,

"It _would_ be going a bit better. But…" Itachi gulped, looking over at the dining table where Tobi was busy adding extra sprinkles, ice cream, and frosting to each dessert.

"Tobi!" Itachi shouted, grabbing his cousin's hand and yelling, "_What_ are you doing? These sweets are for the Celestials! Not a children's birthday party!"

"Tobi knows…" Tobi gave a sheepish smile, "But Tobi wanted them to be extra perfect just for Lady Yonbi and the other Celestials. Right Ongakuhana?" The plant-girl nodded as she was slathering a spoonful of pink frosting on a cake.

"Tobi! Itachi! You won't believe what I…" Zetsu had walked into the bakery/party shop, but when he saw Itachi and Tobi talking to each other, he stopped and was about to walk out of the door, "Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt…"

"It's fine!" Tobi beamed, pouring a whole jar of sprinkles onto a cheesecake, gaining a perturbed look from Itachi. "What's up Zetsu-san?" Zetsu nodded before stating,

"You won't believe what I found in the meadow in front of the Yonko Forests this morning." He waved a finger in front of his hair, "Come on out little one. It's alright." A soft coo and trill emanated from green locks before the blue creature from earlier popped out… Along with two more friends. "Three?" Zetsu blinked, Itachi walking over and whispering,

"Zetsu, they're amazing! What are they?"

"I don't know…" The plant-demon gulped, "But there was only one this morning…"

"I'll take one off your hands," Itachi offered, allowing one of the fluttering creatures to rest in his open palm, "I've never seen anything so _adorable_! Um… I mean, it would be good to have something to keep Sasuke busy." Zetsu nodded, turning towards Tobi,

"Would you like one? Maybe as a mascot for the store?" Ongakuhana was about to take it, but Tobi pushed the girl behind him and scoffed in obvious disgust,

"Ugh! A parasprite? Are you _kidding_ Tobi?" As Tobi began to walk out of the bakery, taking Ongakuhana with him, Zetsu asked,

"'Ugh'?" Itachi adding,

"A para-what? And how could _you_ of all people not like—"

"Thanks a lot, Zetsu-san!" Tobi frowned, turning just as he was out of the door, "Now me and Ongakuhana have to go find a trombone!" And just like that, before any other questions could be asked, Tobi and his daughter were off.

"Typical, non-typical Tobi…" Itachi sighed, smiling when his new friend rubbed up against his cheek.

* * *

><p>Inside GlazeFeather boutique, Kisame was fidgeting as Sasori tried to tailor his marching uniform and Deidara was trying to give him a haircut. "Stay still, damn it!" Sasori hissed, Kisame growling back,<p>

"Sorry! But whatever Deidara's doing to my hair is giving me a serious need to scratch!" Deidara scoffed, tugging a lock of Kisame's hair, asking,

"Do you want to look good for the Ten Celestials or not, un?" Kisame could only sigh, trying to stay still before Itachi walked through the door.

"Hey, Itachi –"

"Stand still!" Sasori and Deidara shouted. Itachi looked around at all the formal attire for the special day, commenting,

"Sasori these outfits are gorgeous!"

"Thank you!" The redhead smiled, "_Someone_ appreciates my work."

"Okay, now you're just pushing words into my mouth and -!" Kisame's response was cut off by a soft trilling from Itachi's hair. "What's that sound?" Just then, the round creature from earlier floated out of Itachi's hair. But it didn't come alone. Two more sat on the weasel-demon's shoulder along with the original.

"Wow, un! What are they?" Deidara asked, Itachi raising an eyebrow,

"The better question is where did they come from? I only had _one_ when I left the bakery this morning." Kisame gently picked one up, smiling,

"I'll take one of the little guys."

"Us too!" Sasori spoke, "They're so delicate and perfect!" The doors to the boutique burst open, Tobi panting with wide eyes as he asked,

"Does anyone know where Tobi can find an accordion?" The others were too busy babying their new pets, "This is important! Hello? Anyone? Ugh, thanks for nothing!" Tobi shouted before rushing off.

* * *

><p>"The decorations… The banquet…" Itachi checked off all the preparations for the next day off of a list before looking around at the spotless library, "I hope everything goes okay tomorrow." The weasel-demon did one last walkthrough of the library, checking that everything was spic and span, and he even went by Sasuke's bedroom; smiling at the sight of the small creature resting on top of the 'fearsome' dragon's head.<p>

After that, Itachi yawned as he went to bed, whispering, "What's there to worry about?"

* * *

><p>There was a coo in the darkness, Sasuke waking up to see the library's new resident looking up at him with sad, wide eyes. "What is it boy?" Sasuke asked, the tiny creature rubbing at his tummy. "Oh, you're hungry?"<p>

Sasuke made a quick trip to the kitchen and got the small creature half a loaf of bread. "That should keep you through the night…" He yawned, flopping back into bed without so much as a second thought. He didn't notice how the creature licked its lips and went to town on the bread…

* * *

><p>The next morning, the big day, Itachi's ears twitched as a chorus of snoring hit them. Itachi slowly opened his eyes, having to repeat the motion because he almost didn't believe what he saw. All over the library, duplicates of the small creature sat sleeping. "Sasuke!" Itachi shouted, falling out of bed and startling their uninvited guests.<p>

The young dragon was still sleeping under a blanket of the small creatures when Itachi barged into his room and yelled, "Sasuke, wake up and tell me what the hell happened here!" Sasuke slowly roused from sleep, jumping up when he saw all the balls of fluff in the building,

"What's going on?"

"That's what I'm asking you!" Itachi stated, looking around at all the small creatures, "Where did they come from?" Sasuke scratched his head as he remembered,

"I don't know! The first one got hungry during the night, so I gave him a snack. But I don't know where all these _others_ came from!" There was a loud crash, both Uchihas rushing to the main hall to see books and scrolls being knocked around as the small creatures looked for more food. "Fuck, they're messing up all my work!" Sasuke shouted, rushing over to get them to stop.

"Rokubi-sama and the other celestials will be here in a few hours!" Itachi gulped, picking up a broom and starting to desperately try to clean up and get the creatures to stop.

* * *

><p>Under the ocean, in his estate, Kisame was snoring away trying to get any and all sleep before today's parades and other events. A trilling next to him woke him up to see his new pet in bed with him.<p>

But then another popped up.

Then three more.

Finally, there were about fifty in his bed alone when he tried to shoo them away. But they only cuddled up to him more. "Get off of me!" He shouted, swatting them away. And when he saw that more were rushing after him, Kisame decided to simply lure them all out into the ocean outside.

A good plan. Before he found out that they were basically water-proof. He groaned in frustration before swimming towards Adamant Falls, the creatures following his every move.

* * *

><p>But inside GlazeFeather Boutique, it was a completely different story as all the creatures were helping to hold up color patches and mix make-ups, perfumes, and hair-dyes. "Not only are you guys adorable," Deidara smiled as he worked on a client's wig, "But you're useful too, un!" He scratched one under the chin, the small bit of fluff taking the attention before it began coughing. "What's wrong, un? Are you okay?" Just then, the creature spat up a hairball the size of itself into Deidara's face. "Ew!" The bird-demon groaned, wiping the mess away. But, after a second, the hairball bounced around in his palm before forming another one of the creatures.<p>

"Ah!" Deidara smacked it away, "Not creature that behaves so _revoltingly_ is allowed in _this _boutique!" But no sooner had he finished those words, did more of the creatures begin coughing up hairballs to make more of their friends. "Danna!" The blonde cried.

* * *

><p>Sasori and Deidara shut their houseboutique up as they both carried bags that were filled to the brim with the creatures. As they began to walk away, Tobi bounced up and announced, "Guys, guess what? Kakuzu sold Tobi a harmonica!" He tried it out before smiling, "Isn't that great?" One of the creatures tried to escape its confines, Tobi nodding, "And not a moment too soon!"

"Tobi," Sasori tightened the latches on the bag, "We're a little busy right now."

"And Tobi's not?" Tobi pouted, "Do you know how many more instruments Tobi has to find?"

"Tobi, please un!" Deidara groaned as he and Sasori carried the bags off, "We don't have time for some silly scavenger-hunt! We have a _real _problem on our hands!"

"You have a problem alright!" Tobi frowned, "And a banjo is the only answer!" He rushed off, Deidara shaking his head.

* * *

><p>Itachi ran towards the Yonko Forests with a bag filled with the creatures, but he stopped when he saw Sasori and Deidara heading the same way carrying their own bags. "I see we're having the same problem." Sasori commented.<p>

"You're not the only ones!" Kisame shouted as he ran across a river, trying to smack the floating creatures away from himself.

"Zetsu brought these things to us," Itachi stated, "He should know how to calm them down!" They all agreed, rushing towards the plant-demon's cottage.

* * *

><p>But when they got to the plant-demon's house, the doors burst open: thousands of the strange creatures flying out. "Or not." Itachi gulped, the four demons looking inside the cottage with aide eyes. The flying creatures had over-taken <em>everything<em>, Zetsu desperately trying to calm them down. "Do something Zetsu! Can't you control them?"

"I've tried everything I know!" Zetsu explained, grabbing a photo-album from one of them, "I've tried begging, pleading, beseeching, asking politely!" When another cloud of the creatures flew past them, Itachi's mind went into worst, worst, _worst_-case scenario mode:

_The Ten Celestials would ride into Adamant Falls in their imperial carriages, expecting a nice, formal visit to the beachside town. But what would that be? Up in the skies! They would look and see a cloud of the strange creatures who would then viciously swarm about and attack them before carrying them, screaming, all the way back to their palace: Rokubi yelling, _

"_This is all Itachi's fault~!" _

"If we don't get a handle on this before the Celestials arrive," Itachi hyperventilated, eyes wide, "I'll be _ruined_! This will be a complete _DISASTER_!" One of the balls of fluff floated in front of Deidara before spitting out a friend.

"Ew!" The blonde screamed, "If you ask me, it already _is_, un!" They all wondered what to do to stop this infestation.

"Zetsu!" They all looked over and saw Kakuzu and Hidan with the albino's pet panther Aya carrying a cart of fruit, "Here's that order you wanted. But I don't get why you needed so – Whoa!" The creatures rushed over and devoured the whole cart before floating off, the stitch-demon yelling, "You better have the money for that!"

"_Now_ what do we do?" Zetsu sighed. Itachi thought for a moment before he stated,

"No one can herd animals like Kakuzu and Hidan can!"

"We can shove them back into the forests!" Kisame whooped, Kakuzu explaining,

"We'll do it, but we need everyone's help." After they all agreed, Kakuzu brought out three ropes that he quickly tied it into a whip. "Let's do this."


	29. Beware the Adorable Menace Part 2

**A/N: I mean, Discord was just such an _AWESOME_ villain, you know?**

* * *

><p>"Let's go people!" Kakuzu shouted, a swarm of the creatures fleeing the group of demons as they forced them towards the Yonko Forests. They had tried three different times to get to this point and finally, the group had a good edge on the pests. "We will be reaching the forests in T-minus ten seconds!" Itachi nodded but he did a double-take to his side when he saw,<p>

"Tobi?"

"Itachi!" The joy-demon called back, "There's not much time!" Itachi scoffed,

"You're telling me! The Celestials will be here any moment!" Tobi nodded,

"That's why Tobi needs you all to stop this nonsense you're doing and help Tobi find some maracas!"

"Maracas?" Itachi shook his head, "Tobi, we have _bigger_ problems than missing maracas!" Tobi gasped,

"You're right! Our top priority has to be finding a tuba! Follow Tobi!" The young demon rushed off, the other demons keeping up their run. Tobi groaned, rushing back to the main group, "Come on!"

"Tobi…" Kisame caught up to Itachi and his cousin, "You are _so_ random!"

"And you're _all_ so _stubborn_!" Tobi shouted before running back to town.

"Focus people!" Kakuzu shouted just as they got to the edge of the forests, "Three… Two… One…" They all stopped, the flying balls of fluff floating into the dark forests and beyond.

"Alright!" Kisame cheered giving Zetsu a high five that left the plant-demon wincing in pain,

"Ouch."

"Thank goodness _that's _over!" Itachi sighed, "Kakuzu, Hidan, thank you."

"It was a group effort!" Hidan laughed, "What do you say we go get the cart back from Zetsu's and start cleaning up what those little bastards ruined, huh?"

* * *

><p>"Okay, without any more distractions, we should be able to get everything ready with just enough time to spare." Itachi explained as they walked back to Zetsu's cottage. "We'll have to work twice as hard though, so let's—"<p>

Zetsu opened his front door, thousands of the round creatures swarming out.

"Where did _they _come from?" Itachi screamed, getting a few of the creatures out of his hair. Everyone looked over at Zetsu when the plant-demon cleared his throat, whispering,

"Well… I may have kept just one."

"_Zetsu…_" Kisame ground his teeth in poorly concealed fury.

"But… But…" Zetsu pleaded, "Who can say no to that face?" Itachi could only scream out his panics and frustrations, almost tearing his hair out from the stress,

"What do we do now? We don't have the _time_ to keep rounding these things up!" Just then, Kisame rushed over to the nearest source of water, a lake, calling out,

"Then it's time to cut the bull and clean house!" He jumped in, a few moments later a large cyclone of water spinning up from the lake. The small creatures yelped, trying to fly away, but the force of the cyclone dragging them into its grip.

A few, torturous moments later, all of the floating creatures were trapped in the centrifuge of the shark's cyclone. All of the other demons were hanging onto for cover as the cyclone's force threatened to suck everyone and every_thing_ in.

"Thank the gods for you Kisame!" Itachi shouted over as it looked like all the creatures were sucked up and out of the way.

"Looks like our problems are solved, un!" Deidara cheered, everyone about to agree – The sound of clashing cymbals caused them to look over and see Tobi clashing two brass cymbals together, beaming,

"They will be thanks to these cymbals! Eep!" He yelped as the cyclone's force caused the cymbals to rip away from Tobi's hands and into the spiraling water and wind.

Inside the cyclone, Kisame had to barely duck the incoming instruments that, due to the speed, were more like circular saws of death. "What the -? Wait, no!" The cyclone started to writhe and fall in on itself, Kisame shouting, "I can't control it! She's breaking up!" Just like that, Kisame was thrown out of the cyclone and into a tree.

Everyone could only watch as the cyclone weakened and broke apart, sending the strange creatures on a calm, uninterrupted flight to the center of Adamant Falls. After Kakuzu and Zetsu helped Kisame out of the tree, Itachi walked over to Tobi. He held up a finger, thinking about what to say, how logically and calm to get it across –

"TOBI!" The weasel-demon shouted, "What the hell did you do?" Tobi groaned,

"Tobi's lost brand new pair of cymbals, that's what!"

"Would you forget about your stupid instruments for one fucking second?" Itachi snapped, "You're getting in the way of us trying to save the town!"

"_Me?_" Tobi gasped, "If anyone is ruining someone's plans, it's _you_! If you would just listen to T—"

"NO!" Itachi screamed, the tone of his voice causing a bit of a stand-still in the group, "I've tried to be nice, I've tried to be understanding, but I've had enough! Tobi, stop acting so childish! Quit being so weird! And would you try to be an actual Uchiha for once?" Tobi's eyes were wide, tears forming at the edges,

"But I…"

"I don't even know why I started talking to you again!" Itachi kept on, "My parents told me to cut off all contact with you once you failed your entrance exams and _now_ look where disobeying them has gotten me!" Itachi took a break from his screaming to look at Tobi, the joy-demon looking none too joyful at that moment. "Oh _forget_ it! Come on, all of you!" Rather tha incur the wrath of the weasel-demon who seemed to be losing it more and more with every passing second, everyone began to run towards town as fast as they could; leaving Tobi sitting there, crying on the ground.

After a moment, though, Tobi could only sniffle,

"Tobi needs to find a clarinet…"

* * *

><p>In the center of Adamant Falls, everyone in town looked up at the sky as the adorable creatures slowly descended. "So cute~!" A demoness gushed as one landed in her palm. She was sitting with a friend at a café, so she moved her palm over to show off the small creature…<p>

Just to have it rush over and eat the food they had ordered.

Soon, everything and anything edible was being devoured in a multi-colored frenzy; demons rushing here and there to save their foods and produce.

"What do we do?" Zetsu asked in horror when the group arrived, the town was being invaded, "They're eating all the food in town!" Kakuzu shouted,

"My farm!", before grabbing Hidan and stating, "Sorry about your dilemma Itachi, but we have to go!" Then Kakuzu rushed off, desperate to save his livelihood. Itachi scratched his head, desperately trying to think of a solution,

"Think Itachi, think!" One of the creatures flew by, carrying a cupcake, before Itachi snapped his fingers, "I've got it! I'll just cast a spell to make them quit eating all the food!" And, under the watchful gaze of his friends, Itachi did just that: red rings of magic emanating from the weasel-demon and surrounding each and every small creature.

And slowly, they _did_ stop eating the food. One even flew over to an apple sitting in a basket and sniffed it before sticking out its tongue.

Tobi rushed by with a pair of tambourines, about to say something but just shaking his head before rushing away.

"I think it worked. I think it worked!" Itachi shouted in pure joy. Just then, the creature swallowed the basket whole, spitting out the apple. The rest of the small creatures began devouring everything from windows, to plates, signposts, to roof-paneling; leaving behind all the food.

A stray apple bounced to Deidara's feet, the blonde frowning, "Hey, at least they're not eating _food_ anymore, un!"

"Oh no." Sasori's left eye twitched, "If they get inside my boutique…" He grabbed Deidara before screaming, "Every demon for himself!", before rushing off.

* * *

><p>"Get out!" Sasori yelled while in scorpion-form, trying to shoo the creatures away from his work with his tail. They had both rushed home to see Sasori's clothes and Deidara's cosmetics being eaten up like candy, little Saso desperately trying to force them all out of a window when they tried to eat his doll collection.<p>

"Go away, you naughty-!" Deidara was about to smack one away from a wig when it coughed up a new friend, "EW!" The creatures all spat and coughed up copies of themselves, the store being filled to the brim until the door burst open, Tobi standing there with a bag full of instruments. "Tobi! Go get help, un!" Tobi only looked around before nodding and walking over to a desk that held a trumpet.

Then he left, leaving Deidara to scream and pass out while Sasori and Saso tried to fight the invaders away.

* * *

><p>In Goldleaf Farms, the entire Shiroi-Hoku clan was standing in front of the farm gates, tools and weapons ready to defend their hard work to the death. "Don't attack until you see the disgusting green of their eyes!" Hidan announced, everyone nodding.<p>

The ground trembled as a cloud of the creatures came from over the horizon. "Brace yourselves…" Kakuzu stated, taking out a can of insecticide. They were all about to charge when the creatures passed them, passed their crops, and went straight to devouring the farm fence and barn. They all stood there in shock, Hidan blinking,

"Did _not_ see that one coming!"

* * *

><p>Itachi rushed back to the library, gasping as he saw Sasuke in dragon-form trying to fight off the creatures who were tearing off his scales one by one to chomp on <em>and<em> eating pages and words right out of the books. "They've eaten an entire quarter of this library's research!" Itachi shouted. He thought to help his brother but then had another idea.

He grabbed one of the creatures by its wings before rushing out and running into the Yonko Forests. Sasuke could only gape at his brother's actions before roaring,

"YOU'RE A _REAL_ FUCKING CLASS-ACT, ITACHI! Ow!" He was interrupted as another one of his scales was eaten.

* * *

><p>Inside the basement of <em>Swirl<em>, Tobi quickly got a cauldron boiling up with molten steel and other metals. He was sweating buckets from the heat but he knew he couldn't stop. He added in a pair of cymbals, a banjo, maracas, tambourines… And any and all of the other instruments he found around the town. He heard the crashing of glass and the splintering of wood above him and whispered, "Tobi hopes he's not too late."

* * *

><p>Itachi's destination was Ivan's mansion in the winter section of the Yonko Forests. He burst in through the door, not even announcing himself. The sound of the door slamming startled Ivan, the Baba Yaga reading a novel while dusting dropped both items before asking, "Itachi, have you lost your mind?"<p>

"Ivan, what is it?" Alfred asked as he came down from upstairs. The Trickster Spirit looked over and smiled, "Hey Itachi, what's up?" Itachi panted and shoved the creature into the main room. Immediately, Ivan gasped and sent forth an icy wind: incasing the creature in a block of ice.

"Ivan, _please_," Itachi panted, "Do you or Alfred know what this thing _is_?" Alfred blinked before walking over. Then he smiled a devious smile, his Trickster blood surging up,

"A parasprite? Oh man, I haven't seen one of these guys in forever!"

"Do you know how to get rid of them?" Itachi pleaded, Ivan shaking his head,

"_He_ is not best person to ask."

"Why?"

"Well…" Ivan cleared his throat, Alfred speaking up,

"My people used to release clouds and clouds of these babies onto neighboring tribes for a laugh! It's always so much fun to see a whole town of people have to move because of parasprites eating every bit of food for miles!" Itachi shook his head,

"No, no, no, no! The Celestials are coming soon, I can't let these things keep eating everything in sight! I even tried casting a spell on them to make them quit eating the food and they just started eating everything else!"

Both the Baba Yaga and the Trickster Spirit gulped, Alfred asking, "You used magic to try and mess with a parasprite's mind?"

"Yes?" Itachi replied. Then Ivan pushed the block of ice into Itachi's hands before showing him the door, stating,

"Then whoever brought them into town has basically written a death-sentence for you all. Because parasprites are not stopping until they have eaten everything in area down to the ground." The door was closed in Itachi's face the same moment that the ice broke apart, four parasprites floating about him and licking his cheeks, tasting him…

"Oh no."

* * *

><p>Itachi rushed out of the forests, trying to keep the hungry parasprites at bay. But occasionally, they would bite him or chomp away some of his hair. And when he made it back into town, things had gotten worse for two reasons.<p>

One, looking up in the sky, you could see the crystal-mare drawn carriages of the Ten Celestials well on their way into town.

Second, in said town, the parasprites had started attack the townsfolk: biting, eating hair, nipping at tails. Everyone was desperately trying to find cover in the decimated village, screams and howls ever present in the air.

Itachi felt something in his mind snap, his eyebrow twitching as he gave a weird sort of smile, "You know what? It's not so bad!" He laughed before calling out, "Okay everyone, here's my new, _awesome_ plan! Kisame, you distract them for me!"

"GET THESE LITTLE BASTARDS OFF OF ME!" The shark-demon yelled as the parasprites were chomping all over him.

"Good! Great job!" Itachi gave him a thumbs up before laughing again, his hair frizzing up due to over-whelming stress, "Now, everyone else! We need to build an _exact_ replica of Adamant Falls, right down to the waterfall, right over that-a-way!" Everyone else was still running and screaming, "We've got less than a minute to go, peoples! Yay me!" Itachi clapped his hands, thinking in his warped mind that the others were actually going to help. After a moment, he fell to the ground, shaking his head as parasprites began to nibble at him, "Ivan was right, we're done for."

Soft footsteps touched upon the ground, a hand shooing the parasprites on Itachi's body away. Itachi looked up, seeing Tobi looking down at him, calmly stating, "You could just apologize."

"To who?" Itachi raised an eyebrow, "The parasprites?" Tobi shook his head,

"Not the parasprites." Itachi thought for a moment before he sighed,

"Tobi… Look, what I said earlier… I was just really stressed. Everything is supposed to go perfect today and now look at it." A building collapsed just to prove Itachi's point, "But even if this town goes down in ashes and flames, I had no right to explode at you like that." He sighed, "I'm sorry." Tobi nodded,

"That's all I needed to hear." He walked to the center of town, Itachi trying to tell him to run, but when he heard music being played he groaned,

"They're here… It's all over…"

But he soon looked over and saw that what sounded like a royal procession was actually Tobi playing an oddly-shaped, very long flute-like instrument: swirls of different materials and colors composing the item. "Tobi, please…" Itachi groaned out, "We're in a disaster-zone. We don't have time for your…" But as Itachi looked up, his eyes went wide and he could only gasp in disbelief, "Nonsense?"

The parasprites had stopped.

No, not just stopped. They were entranced by the music Tobi was making. So as Tobi began to walk out of town, they all followed him: bouncing along to the beat of the music.

Itachi limped over to the rest of his friends (who had come back to see what the music was about), silently asking Zetsu what Tobi was doing, but the plant-demon was just as confused, if not more, than Itachi was.

* * *

><p>Nevertheless, they followed the parasprite parade as Tobi led it out of town, not losing his focus even once. "Look!" Deidara pointed over to where the crystal-mare carriages were riding on the road that led to Adamant Falls. The carriage stopped, the doors on the third and sixth carts opening: Sanbi No Same and Rokubi No Raijuu stepping out.<p>

The group of demons all bowed in reverence before Rokubi walked over and hugged Itachi, "Uchiha Itachi, my prized student."

"Good afternoon Rokubi-sama." Itachi gave a nervous smile, "And to you as well Lord Sanbi."

"You guys came all the way out here to greet us?" The white-haired shark-deity smiled, "Isn't that nice and—" He stopped when the crashing of cymbals rang through the air: Tobi still playing his strange instrument and having the parasprites follow him.

Everyone stood there in shock, the other celestials opening their doors to watch the sight.

"So, how was your trip?" Itachi asked, Sanbi and Rokubi staring warily at the parasprites. Finally, after a long while, Rokubi whispered something to Sanbi, the shark-deity nodding before he went to the fourth cart. Then the weasel-deity asked Itachi,

"Itachi, why didn't you send a letter to tell me that you had parasprites?"

"Well, I…" Itachi tried to speak, in shock that Rokubi was so calm about this; that _all_ of the Celestials were so calm about this!

"Got it!" Sanbi said as he brought a golden cube. He needed help carrying it, Yonbi No Sokou helping him.

"Here we are." The female serpent-deity sighed as they carried it away from everyone else. "Oi!" Tobi raised an eyebrow as he kept playing, "Can you lead them over here?" The joy-demon nodded, playing the instrument and getting the parasprites to follow him to where the two Celestials stood. Then he moved the side, the music causing each and every parasprite to jump into the cube. When the last one scuffled in, Sanbi shut the golden cube up tight and let out a sigh of relief.

"One town down, five others to go."

"Excuse me?" Itachi gulped, Rokubi nodding,

"That's what I've been meaning to tell you: you see, it's parasprite season and towns and cities all over the world are becoming infested with these bothersome creatures. That's why we're going to have to postpone our visit to another time."

"Oh!" Itachi twitched, "Well, it's _okay_. I understand that you all have your priorities! It's _fine_!" Rokubi bowed a bit in thanks before calling over to Sanbi and Yonbi,

"Is the parasprite cage secure?"

"Yeah, don't worry." Sanbi huffed as he shoved the container back into the carriage. But Yonbi had to rush over and hug Tobi, laughing,

"Hardly anyone knows that the only way to get parasprites to stop eating is by the notes of an Alpha-Omega Flute! Good job!"

"Tee-hee! Thank you!" Tobi giggled.

* * *

><p>Soon after, the crystal-mare drawn carriages rushed off into the sky, the Celestials having all they need to go and rid other unfortunate towns of their invasions (it turned out that Yonbi had an Alpha-Omega Flute of her own). The demons down below all waved the Celestial beings off before Tobi sighed, "Tobi wishes they would have stayed longer."<p>

"So you knew what those things were all along?" Kakuzu asked, "And how to get rid of them?"

"Of course!" Tobi smiled, "Tobi has to keep repeating it but Tobi's random, not dumb! Why do you think that Tobi was in such a rush to get all these instruments? Tobi _tried_ to tell you all!"

"Yes…" Zetsu gently patted Tobi on the top of his head, "And next time, we should all do better to listen to you."

"Thank you Tobi." Itachi bowed, "You saved my reputation with Rokubi-sama _and_ you saved Adamant Falls!"

* * *

><p>"Well, <em>mostly<em> saved." Itachi sighed as they looked over at the dilapidated town.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Oh Tobi... You're just so _painfully_ random. Thanks for reading everyone, please review! Oh, and just a heads up, next week might be a double update because... Ugh, the next chapters kicked my ass for three weeks and I _still_ don't like the results. **

**-Tyranno's girl. **


	30. The Dark Caves of the Past Part 1

**A/N: Just kill me now, you guys. This is the chapter that kicked my ass, chewed me up, spit me out, and I _still_ couldn't make it any better than it is. I like the writing, don't get me wrong, but it just seemed like the flow was awkward. Sigh... **

**Let's thank the reviewers: Zetsu's Rose, Alexa Hiwatari, and FMJ26. **

**Let's... read. Yay...**

* * *

><p>Inside of GlazeFeather Boutique, Deidara was busy mixing up a foundation order while Sasori was working on a secret project hidden behind its own special curtain. The television was showing a marathon of concerts from a music award show, the two fashionistos appreciating the music while they worked. Sasori had just placed the last ruby in his gem case onto his project when the door opened, the bell signaling that someone had come in.<p>

"Coming!" Sasori smiled as he closed the curtain. Taking Deidara's hand, the two walked into the sitting room; the redhead greeting, "Welcome to GlazeFeather Boutique."

"Where every demon is chic, unique, and tres magnifique!" The blonde finished, but when they both looked at their guests, they both gasped: Deidara squawking, "K-Konan Pacon?" The beautiful creature who had walked into the shop with her manager/husband, had short, blue hair decorated with a delicate origami flower, wore a slim fitting, short blue dress, and had long, elegant paper wings resting on her back.

"The Angel of Pop?" Sasori gulped. The demon behind her, a steel-demon with spiky orange hair and piercings along the bridge of his nose rolled his grey eyes,

"I wish people would get the facts straight, she's a paper-fairy, not an angel." Konan laughed before walking in, chiming,

"Good afternoon Akasuna-san, Azumoji-san."

"She knows our names." Sasori whispered, "You know our names?"

"Well of course I do!" Konan smiled, looking through the racks of beautiful clothing on display in the sitting room, "Pein here makes it a note to research all the up and coming designers in the world."

"And in his latest interview," Pein sighed, taking a seat, "Francis Bonnefoy could not stop raving about the works of Akasuna Sasori." Sasori had to take a lean against the wall, whispering to Deidara,

"By Juubi's handbag… If this is a dream, do _not_ wake me up!" Then he walked over to Konan and asked, "What may I do for you Ms. Pacon?"

"Please," Konan shook her head, trying on a cute hat, "Call me Konan."

"Okay…" Sasori nodded, "How may I help you, _Konan_?"

"She's about to go on a world tour," Pein explained, "In 'Konan Pacon and the Scrolls of my Heart'."

"Mm-hm," Konan tried on a handful of rings before adding, "So I need to look _sensational~!_" Sasori nodded before stating,

"I have _just_ what you need!"

"Prepare yourself, Konan Pacon, for the piece de resistance of performance fashion!" Sasori led everyone into his workshop and pulled on a velvet rope, the curtain hiding his latest project falling away to reveal something that made Deidara's, Konan's, _and_ Pein's eyes go wide in awe.

It was a formal/pop fusion of a dress, covered from low-neckline to just above the knee skirt hem in a rainbow of gems and jewels. "I used every last gem I had on this one outfit!"

"And it looks _amazing~!_" Konan sang before clutching onto Pein's arm, "I want it! Please, please, _please~!_" Pein slowly nodded.

"Really?" Deidara asked in excitement. Pein nodded again,

"Yes. This and six more, each done up in a different jewel-theme." Sasori gulped,

"I beg your pardon?"

"Costume changes!" Konan beamed, excited for her new stage-clothes. As she was talking with Pein happily, anticipating how gorgeous her clothes would look, Sasori looked to his gem chest and noticed that it was stark bare.

"Oh…" He passed out to the floor, Deidara rushing over to wave a fan in front of his face to revive him, Konan smiling as she and Pein went to find an inn,

"Yes, I _do _have that effect on demons."

* * *

><p>"I <em>don't<em> believe it!" Naruto's voice could be heard in the rocky valleys of the mountains a few miles away from Adamant Falls. Sasori and Deidara had decided to enlist the help of Sasuke and Naruto to help find any and all precious gems buried in the area. As a bit of a gem connoisseur, Sasuke could sniff a rich deposit from a mile away and Naruto's fox senses worked almost the exact way.

Sasori's tail could also find gems (he had had the ability since he was younger) but he thought that with the dragon and the Kitsune, the job would get done just fine. Naruto sniffed the ground in fox-form, Sasuke walking besides him in dragon form, the blonde still talking excitedly, "I mean, you got to meet Konan Pacon: Angel of Pop! I love her song 'The Tear-Stained Pages'; it always makes me cry anytime I hear it and—"

"N-Naruto-kun?" Deidara gulped, keeping a wary eye about the valley, "Could you perhaps wait until after we get back home to talk about this, un?"

"Hai!" Naruto called back as he and Sasuke went back to sniffing and searching. But Sasori noticed his fiancée's careful behavior as he pulled an empty cart behind him. The redhead walked over to the blonde and quietly asked,

"Are you alright?" Deidara nodded,

"Of course, un! It's just…" He sighed, "This place reminds me of…" The bird-demon couldn't finish his sentence, images of a dark, caged-in work-plant and the sounds of screams and tears ringing in his ears. His hands subconsciously went to rub his arms, his wings, the ghost of an agonizing pain shivering through them.

"Shh…" Sasori whispered, wrapping an arm around the blonde's shoulders, "Don't worry, I just need to get enough gems to decorate Konan's dresses and then we'll get out of here, okay?" Deidara still seemed a bit unsure, but he nodded,

"Okay." Just then, Naruto scratched at the ground and announced,

"Found some!" Sasuke energetically dug a hole above where Naruto had indicated, soon coming to a cluster of gems.

"Oh my… Hello gorgeous…" He licked his lips, about to chow down when Sasori shouted,

"Sasuke! No, I agreed to pay you when we found enough for the outfits!" The dragon sighed, wrapping his tail around the gems and dropping them off into the cart,

"Fine."

"Come along all of you," Sasori announced, "We have gems to find and not much time to find them!"

* * *

><p>All day long, the group hunted down gem deposit after gem deposit. Dust and rock flew through the air as Sasuke followed Naruto's leads, digging up the precious stones until they final had a hefty cartload, desperately pulling Sasuke away from the sweet treasures until Sasori sighed, "He's been patient enough. Naruto, pick out a gem for him would you?" Naruto nodded, sifting through the cart until he found a large, shiny ruby.<p>

"Here you go!" He handed it to Sasuke, the dragon shifting into normal form so he could savor his treat. Just before he bit into it, though, his eyes looked over to see Naruto shift back from fox-form; the blonde asking, "Something wrong?" Sasuke shook his head, giving a soft smile as he kept a firm gaze on Naruto's form,

"No. Everything's perfect in my eyes." Naruto smiled before he sneezed,

"Whoa, there's a huge – Achoo! – Deposit this way!" He bounded over towards a new direction in fox-form, the others following him.

Unbeknownst to them, however, they were all being watched.

* * *

><p>From inside a bush, filthy, clawed hands parted two branches, a view of the demons doing their gem-hunting being revealed before a raspy voice growled, "Look at those <em>beauties<em>!"

"Where?" A new voice asked.

"There! Precious, _beautiful_ gems!" They saw Sasori inspecting what they had found thus far, obviously thinking, "_He_ is the gem-hunter! With _him_, we can be _rich_!" The claws let go of the branches, about to conduct their plan. But then,

"Over here! I found some more!"

"Wait you fools!" A new, female voice growled, "Look there!" The branches parted to show Naruto sniffing at the ground before Sasuke dug up more gems.

"Jackpot!" The dragon smiled as he came up with an armful of gems. The voices behind the bush growled and sniffed,

"It's not the scorpion we want, it's the fox!"

"The fox…"

"And look there!" They all keyed in on Deidara, the bird-demon clapping his hands and letting out a peal of musical laughter from the amount of gems they found. "Is that a..? It can't be!"

"It _is_!" The other voice said, "A bird-of-paradise demon!"

"We've struck _gold_!" The female voice growled, "From his feathers, to his voice, we could break the bank with him!"

"Yes…" They all agreed, slipping away into the darkness.

* * *

><p>"That should be more than enough to get me started!" Sasori smiled as they began to pull the cart back towards town.<p>

"I think we did a good-job today!" Naruto cheered. Sasuke was just about to agree when his nose scented something.

"I smell diamond… Oh, and pearl? Outside of the ocean?" Sasuke walked over towards a bush, sniffing around the area. "This is weird, it's in the bushes?" Just as he got close, a dark figure jumped out: it was a male dog-demon dressed in tattered clothing except for a necklace of rough-cut diamonds and pearls around his neck. He growled at Sasuke as the dragon growled back, "Who the hell do you think you are?" Naruto growled at the stranger, Sasori looking back to see that Deidara's breathing had picked up a bit; his body language beginning to show signs of panic.

"_I_," The dog-demon began, "Am the second in command of the Diamond-Hunter Family…"

"Well that's _very_ nice to know," Sasori gave a shaky smile as he took Deidara's shaking form and slowly backed away, "But we should get going, you know, places to go, things to do. Sasuke, get the cart!" Just as the dragon's tail tried to pull the gem-laden cart, two more savage dog-demons: another male and a female jumped out of freshly dug holes in the ground and seized the cart.

"Such good huntsman-ship..!" The new male growled before looking over to Naruto, "But we all know that it was _your_ doing!" Naruto gulped, walking back a few steps,

"What are you getting at?" The female only barked out a laugh before leering,

"We hunt for gems, stupid boy, and now we hunt for _you_! _And_ your pretty friend over there!" She looked over to Deidara, the bird-demon's knees buckling and causing him to fall to the floor. "Get them!" She barked, two more dog-demons digging themselves out of the ground before they all rushed onto the offensive.

Sasuke roared before exhaling a large rush of flame, creating a blue barrier before he called over, "Run Naruto!" The Kitsune flinched before trying to run but a large beast of a dog (one of the dog-demons in shifted form) bounded over to him and grabbed his tails; lifting the blonde like he weighed less than a feather. "Naruto!" Sasuke shouted, trying to rush over but finding that his tail had been buried deep into the ground while he was watching for enemies.

Over on his end, Sasori was in scorpion-form trying to keep the dog-demons away from his beloved. He was busy trying to fend them off with his tail that he didn't notice one of them digging a hole underneath him before a dog-demon turned him over onto his back: rendering him immobile. "Damn it! Deidara!" The scorpion hissed, the long-haired blonde only sitting there: his blue eyes wide and glazed over in fear, his frame trembling. The filthy dog-demons laughed and growled amongst themselves as one of them walked over and seized Deidara's arm. The blonde was apparently in shock; his body locked up and a repeated whisper of,

"Do what they want and they won't kill you… Do what they want and they won't kill you…", falling from his lips.

"Hey, wait a moment." The dog-demon that held the bird-demon's arm smiled before lowering the blonde's kimono so that his neck was bare, despite Sasori's infuriated hisses and shouts. The dog-demon's eyes went wide in glee before he let out a victorious howl at the sight of the vicious branding-mark on the back of the blonde's neck,

"He's already been broken! This is going to be a cinch!" He leaned down and exhaled a foul-smelling breath into Deidara's ear as he asked, "Little bird, get up and let's go, hm?" Deidara trembled, his lips struggling to whisper,

"Yes sir. Please don't hurt me sir. I'll do whatever you want, just don't hurt me, un…" So the dog-demons picked the bird-demon as if he was nothing and rushed off to carry him and Naruto into their tunnels.

"Deidara!" Sasori shifted into normal form and rushed after them, shouting, "Snap out of it Deidara! This is the present, not the pa –"

"HELP!" Naruto screamed as he was being forced down the hole. The female dog-demon, already in, growled,

"Get down here, damn it!" Before pulling one of the Kitsune's tails. The harsh action brought tears to Naruto's eyes, it hurt so much.

"Itai! Sasuke, please! Help us!"

"Naruto!" Sasuke shouted, flying over and desperately trying to grab Naruto's hand as the younger blonde tried to hold it out for help… Just for him to be grabbed and dragged deep into the darkness, his screams of pain echoing through.

"Gods help me…" Sasori whispered, not believing what had happened. But Sasuke immediately threw his head back and gave an agonized roar,

"NO..!"

* * *

><p>Back in town, Kisame and Itachi had decided to take Mizuki and Saso to the park (Sasori had left the boy at the library before he and the others went off). They were lucky that Zetsu and Tobi were there with Ongakuhana and soon Kakuzu and Hidan had brought their youngest triplets. Mizuki hadn't seemed like he had been enjoying the outing very much, but when the bushes rustled and the small hell-dog Hun jumped out.<p>

Mizuki proceeded to play a game of fetch with Hun, all the adults watching their children happily play with one another –

"ANIKI!"

"Sasuke?" Itachi asked, looking up to see Sasuke rush into the park with Sasori on his back. No sooner had he even touched the ground, did the dragon run over to Kisame and Itachi, screaming,

"Naruto's been kidnapped!"

"Deidara too!" Sasori whispered, not wanting Saso to hear. Hidan got the hint and snatched Kakuzu's wallet, taking out some money before he handed it to Kiro,

"You and the others go get lunch." When the children were all gone (or so they thought), Sasori explained,

"We were all in the rocky valleys around town, collecting gems, when out of _nowhere_, these disgusting dog-demons showed up! They attacked us and then kidnapped Deidara and Naruto!"

"More like they took Naruto and Deidara _let _himself be taken." Sasuke muttered, Sasori giving him a pointed look before begging,

"_Please_! You have to help us save them!"

"Do you even have to ask?" Kisame replied, making sure that he had his sword. But Kakuzu stopped him, being the voice of reason,

"Even so, where would we even start? Savage dog-demons are known for traveling the world over. It could take us _days_ to track them down." They all thought for a moment, Sasuke and Sasori getting a bit antsy. Then a young voice said,

"I could take you." They all looked over to see Hun walking over, stating, "The gang that took your friends, The Diamond-Hunter Family, I know their smell; I could lead you."

"Sweetie…" Itachi patted the young demon on the head, "Why didn't you follow your friends? We'll be fine, just let the big demons handle this, okay?" Hun gave an intense stare towards Itachi before he spoke in a voice that seemed far too old for his body,

"By the time you all find them, it might be too late."

* * *

><p>"<strong>The Diamond-Hunter Family,"<strong> Hun panted as he ran towards the rocky valleys in the form of a massive, vicious wolf that shared his hair's color-scheme, leading the others, **"Are some of the most blood-thirsty savage dog-demons it would ever be your misfortune to meet."**

"And how do you know this?" Sasori asked, a bit suspicious. Hun stopped to sniff at the ground, picking up the scent of his target again before he sighed,

"**You have to understand… When I was a baby, my mom didn't want me…"** He started running again, continuing, **"She dropped me off with the Diamond-Hunters so I could have a place to sleep and eat—"**

"SO YOU'RE ONE OF THEM?" Sasuke gritted out, Hun shaking his head,

"**I didn't want to be a savage dog-demon. So, like Kakashi-sensei and the Inuzukas, I got out."** As they all ran towards their destination, Itachi had to ask,

"Hun… How old are you?"

"**Six."** Hun smiled, **"But being a hell-dog, my mind ages faster."**

* * *

><p>After a tense, long chase session, Hun stopped. "We finally made it!" Sasori panted, Kisame nodding,<p>

"Yeah, now all we have to do is go down the hole that the Diamond-Hunters took Deidara and Naruto down!" Hun walked over to a large quarry, now in his boyish form, before he shook his head,

"You all should take a look." All the demons looked out into the quarry, Kisame gritting out,

"Oh, fuck me!" The whole area was filled with hundreds of holes, the Diamond-Hunters' way of confusing unwanted followers. Tobi gulped,

"Holy-moley, that's a lot of holeys!"

"It would take too long to search them all one by one!" Sasori looked around at the over-whelming number of entryways into the underground. As the others discussed their various plans, Hun jumped down and sniffed around for the right hole. It took him a moment, but the hidden smell of bones and gems overwhelming to a dog's sensitive nose.

"Found it!" Hun called over, everyone else slowly making their way over.

"So what are we waiting for?" Sasori asked, running forward to jump into the hole. But Hun tugged on his sleeve, saying,

"If you want them to block all these holes and move base fifteen miles inland, then yes, go on ahead and rush in." Sasori groaned before hissing,

"Then what do you suppose we do?"

"Hm…" Hun hummed, looking at the group around him. Then he asked Itachi, "You should know a good invisibility spell, right?"

"Yes…" Itachi answered before snapping his fingers in realization, "I know what he's getting at now!"

"Then could you enlighten the rest of us?" Sasuke asked before Hun spoke up,

"I'll get their attention somehow and they'll let me into the cavern. Then Itachi-san will cloak you guys in an invisibility spell and you all follow behind me. We go in, save Deidara-san and Naruto-san and get back to town before dinner-time!" The group was quiet for a moment as they took in the idea. Then Kakuzu sighed,

"I am so mad that that actually sounds like it could work."

"But it's not like these damn dog-demons are going to come out for cookies and milk!" Hidan stated, "How are we going to convince them to let us in?" That was when Sasori blinked and told Sasuke,

"The gem that Naruto gave you earlier today, give it to me."

"What?" Sasuke gulped, holding a wary hand over his pocket where the ruby was hidden.

"Sasuke, do you or do you _not_ want to save Naruto?" Kisame frowned, causing Sasuke to eventually sigh and hand the gem over, growling,

"This better work."

* * *

><p>The sun was beginning to go down as Hun walked to the edge of the hole and put his face in, calling out, "Hello? I have a gift for the Diamond-Hunter Family. Can I come in?" It took a moment, but the hole was made bigger by one of the dog-demons on watch. They sniffed around before asking,<p>

"What kind of gift?" Hun smiled and held up the exceptional ruby, the dog-demon licking his lips, "Oh yes, that will do nicely! Come on in little brother…"

"Thank you." Hun bowed before slowly walking in into the dark abyss. Unbeknownst to the dog-demon guard, the group of demons who had formed a rescue party had slowly filed in behind Hun; careful to not so much as breathe through their mouths as they walked into the abyss. "So, how has the gem-trade been going big brother?" Hun was trying to make small talk so he could keep the dog-demon's attention on himself, and I was working; the guard turning around to talk to him as he lead the way.

Sasori silently regarded all the tunnels in the walls underneath their invisible guise, thankful that they were being led down the right ones; it would be more that easy to get lost down here.

"The old lady's planning to make us all billionaires!" The guard cackled, Hun gulping as he asked,

"How's that?"

"We find stupid fox-demon who can sniff out gems!" Kisame had to stop Sasuke from trying to attack the guard and blowing their cover. "_And_, if that wasn't enough, we've found a pretty, golden bird-of-paradise demon! As soon as we pluck all his shiny feathers to sell piece by piece, we're going to sell him on black-market to highest bidder!"

It was killing Sasori to be quiet, Zetsu could tell his friend wanted nothing than to force the dog-demon to hurry up and take them to his beloved.

"And he's practically a god-send, this bird-demon! He hasn't fought us at all, unlike that stupid fox!"

"I see…" Hun sighed before discretely turning his head to the unseen group and mouthing out, 'Just a few more tunnels.', hoping they could make it until then.


	31. The Dark Caves of the Past Part 2

**A/N: So... Has anyone heard about the episode gap in season two? And have you heard that in one of the upcoming episodes, Miranda Cosgrove is going to be a special guest (thanks to FMJ26 for the info)? Oh, this fandom is _awesome_!**

* * *

><p>Growls and barks could be heard in the underground hideout of the Diamond-Hunter Family as they tried to corner a certain Kitsune. "Let.. me.. go… NOW!" Naruto growled, swiping a claw at one of them when they got to close, "Let us both out of here!" He yelped as one of them dug out of the ground beneath him and turned him over, pinning the fox to the ground by his neck,<p>

"But you don't want that, do you?" Naruto desperately tried to get up, but the dog-demon's pressure was too strong.

"What do you guys even want with us?" The head of the small group snickered,

"We want gems: loads of them! And you are going to find them all for us!" Naruto blinked before asking,

"Is that it? Fine! But get off me!" The dog-demon on top of him moved away and Naruto immediately began to sniff around. Luckily, he found a good deposit of diamond and he scratched an 'x' over the spot. "There. Can we go home now?"

"Now dig them out!" The leader barked, Naruto growling,

"Do I _look_ like a dragon? Fox-claws aren't made for-!" He was instantly shut up when they threw a rusty shovel his way. "Fucking mutts…" The young blonde had no choice but to pick up the shovel and begin to dig the gems out. "Have to get… Me and Deidara out of here…" He looked over, seeing Deidara sitting down on a rock, keeping a fearful eye around himself.

"Oh _he_ won't be of any concern," The matriarch of the Diamond-Hunters laughed at Naruto's concerns, "Not unless he _wants_ to be shipped out to… _Spinegate!_"

"NO!" Deidara screamed, covering his ears as he fell to the floor in a fetal-position, "No, I'll do anything! Not Spinegate! Not Spinegate! Please, gods above, no!" The female dog-demon smirked, having two of her eldest sons pick the blonde up.

"Now, now… If you cooperate, no one will be harmed _or_ have to be sent out to Spinegate. Now come along precious birdie, we have to see what we have to work with…" Naruto could only watch as Deidara was carried away, softly asking,

"Spinegate..? What's that— Hey!" One of the other dog-demons pulled his tail before stating as he pulled over a large, empty cart,

"Yours is to work, not to ask questions. Get busy!"

"Stupid mutts…" Naruto growled as he shoveled the gems he had found into the cart. But while he worked, sniffing the air for more gems, he thought, 'I hope Deidara is okay… Whatever is going on with him…"

* * *

><p>"Let's see how my <em>gold<em> mine is doing…" The matriarch of the Diamond-Hunters smirked as she walked down the halls of her secret city. But no sooner had she gotten to the door that held her newest treasure, one of her sons walked out and growled,

"Mom, we've tried _everything_ but the pretty bird won't molt his feathers!"

"Fools!" She barked, walking into the room where another one of her sons was trying desperately to rip away Deidara's feathers (the demon in his beautiful bird-form), but wasn't having much luck. "He's practically ready for the slaughter! Why are you all hesitating?"

"His feathers are stuck mom!" The poor dog-demon whined as he had to stop and take a break, "I've tried every idea in my head but they won't budge!" The matriarch huffed as she looked at the elegant bird trapped in the makeshift cage that they had put together.

"Such a pretty thing…" She whispered, allowing a clawed hand to run down his feathers; Deidara wincing. "Okay then, come along." She pulled her sons with her, saying, "I have my brother's notes from when he was stationed at Spinegate. He probably wrote something about our pretty birdie here."

When his kidnappers left, Deidara shifted back into normal form and allowed his tired, horrified body lean against the cage walls. He never thought that his past would come back to bite him like this, to force his eyes to re-see events that he hoped would remain buried underneath a mixture of alcohol and the sands of time.

"Such a long, winding path I've walked down…" He sighed and closed his eyes, his mind taking a trip far, _far _back into the recesses of memory.

* * *

><p><em>The world of demons, magical creatures, and what have you, is a vast existence going above and beyond the normal sphere-like planet we would imagine. Creatures were born in different, varying places: from the ocean depths, to the dense forests, to cities built inside of volcanoes. <em>

_One such example of one of these amazing cities was the metropolis built in the trees Yohgakure. The city truly kept to its name, hundreds of elegant buildings and houses being built in the mile-high trees of the rainforests. _

_It was in this city, kept ever cool and relaxing by the leaves above keeping a perfect balance of sunlight out, a beautiful child born of a bird-of-paradise and a phoenix would happily play about in the branches of his family's berry-trees; his long blonde hair whipping in the breeze. _

_Oh how Azumoji Deidara remembered those days. They almost seemed like a dream now as he sat in a cage, the six year-old waiting to be sold to the highest bidder. _

_You see, post-partum depression had hit Deidara's mother and it hit her _HARD._ She never ventured out of her room, let alone got out of bed as long as the golden-haired child was around. So, in a desperate attempt to get his wife back to normal, Deidara's father had the stupid, selfish idea to get rid of his son. _

_He _could_ have tried an orphanage, but no. He wanted something out of it. So he sold Deidara off to a seedy club-owner that he knew was fond of having live auctions. One look at the frightened child and the shady demon smirked, paying Deidara's father a hefty sum before he left; leaving his child sobbing out for him and his mother in the dark depths of the big city. _

_Now, a week later, Deidara winced as the curtains on the stage were opened and an audience filled with demons, female and male, sat in luxurious chairs drinking over-priced drinks and allowing lecherous eyes to survey the tiny blonde's form. _

"_Here," The club-owner began, "Is tonight's item of sale. The child of a beautiful bird of paradise and a graceful phoenix! The blood is resilient and the flesh is beautiful as you can see," He seized Deidara's cheek, tears dripping from his long eyelashes as his face was forced towards the audience. "Upon buying him, the new owner can decide what they want to do with him." _

"_No…" The scared blonde whispered, the club-owner letting go as he announced, _

"_Bidding starts at 120,000!" _

"_130,000!" A demoness held up her hand, a demon scoffing and shouting out,_

"_150,000!" In no time at all, the bids had jumped up to four-hundred fifty-thousand and were showing no sign of stopping anytime soon. _

_What could he do? Deidara wasn't even really sure why his dad had sent him here. In a small, dim part of his mind he thought that his parents would come back for him. But as he saw the vile demons in the room raising their bids for ownership of the boy, that hope seemed to die more and more. Finally, a deep, rough voice barked out, _

"_750,000."_

_The room went silent, not knowing how to respond. But the club-owner smirked, "750,000 going once… Twice…Sold!" _

_Deidara gulped as his buyer walked over to the stage: black hair greased back and dog ears perked up as he discussed the payment options with the club-owner. _

_Little did Deidara know… That this one dog-demon would be the source of his nightmares for years to come. _

* * *

><p><em>So, the next morning after being given a more-than-thorough bath, Deidara was packed into a cart and after a suitcase of money shifted <em>

"_Mister?" Deidara asked when the silence got to be too much, "Mister, where are we going?" The dog-demon didn't answer and kept driving the cart. Deidara hadn't been raised to be impolite so he spoke again, "Um, my name's Deidara. I can't cook or clean, but I can sing a little. Would you like to hear?" _

"…"

"_Okay then." Deidara meeped, sitting back down for the rest of the quiet ride. _

_Over rolling hills, steep canyons, and rushing rivers the cart traveled until _finally_ the cart rolled towards a building surrounded by a fence. But not just an ordinary, picket, or even a steel fence. Deidara had to desperately hold back a gasp of a horror so intense that he never knew something like it could exist. _

_The gates surrounding the cold, grey building were made of bones: skulls, femurs, and especially spines. Deidara was so petrified that he didn't notice when the door to his cage was open. He didn't tear his eyes away from the gruesome sight until he was grabbed out by his hair. _

"_That's what happened to all the _other_ little boys and girls who disobeyed me." The dog-demon, Shade, tightened his grip on the blonde locks. "Let's get you introduced to your new home." _

* * *

><p>Deidara whimpered, bringing his legs close to his body and gently rubbing his feet. "Day in and day out I worked in those damn concrete pits till my feet swelled up and bled." He had to close his eyes, the gossamer pains of the past filling his sense as if he were a child experiencing said horrors again. "Empty stomachs being as run of the mill and average as the aura and smell of death, oh gods…" A pitiful cry broke through Deidara's throat, his eyes closing shut; moisture collecting at the edges, "Danna… You promised me, un… That I would never have to relive my nightmares; that I would never have to revive that hell…"<p>

Blue eyes opened, tears streaming down his cheeks, "Help me… Someone… Please…"

* * *

><p>Talking while invisible was proving to be a risk that most of the demons in the rescue-group didn't want to take. But Sasuke had had more than enough of keeping his mouth shut.<p>

"Why did Deidara freeze up like that Sasori?" He whispered, "At least Naruto tried to fight back: Deidara just sat there and let himself be kidnapped!"

"Sasuke, shut up!" Itachi warned his brother, but Sasuke kept on,

"Tell me Sasori. Or can you even? Because even _you_ know that Deidara's actions were uncalled for!" Sasuke hissed. For a long moment after that, they walked in pure silence. Finally,

"Me and Deidara truly are birds of a feather…" Sasori sighed, "We're both damaged goods. My scar came from when I went to go train with Juubi No Iruka…" He subconsciously rubbed at the scar on his chest, "And his…" He had to stop, thinking of all the times he had accidentally touched _that_ part of Deidara's neck by accident.

"You all have to understand… This world has places that are very bright, very monotone, and very, _very_ dark. Those dark places are sometimes only describable as hell on earth. Deidara… lived in such a place when he was a child. And it was run by a dog-demon named Shade and his family." He glanced back at Sasuke, "_That's_ why Deidara didn't fight back. _That's _why I have to save him from this."

"Wow…" Hun growled towards the unseen demons behind him, "The wind is awfully _noisy_ in here!"

* * *

><p>"Good work foxy!" One of the dog-demons jeered out as Naruto dug out a cluster of rubies from a soft area of dirt.<p>

"Stop calling me that!" Naruto shouted, throwing a hunk of ruby at one of the dog-demons, "My name is Naruto Uzumaki, son of fox-demons Minato Namikaze and Kushina Uzumaki, and devout follower of the Kyuubi No Kitsune! So you all can – Mmph!" His words ended prematurely as his mouth was bounded up by a rough rag.

"Stop your blabbing and work foxy!" The dog-demons barked, pushing the blonde back onto the ground.

Just one more tunnel. Just one more tunnel and then they could save their friends. But luck had something _else_ in mind. "Oh gods," Itachi whispered, looking at his hands and seeing that the invisibility spell was wearing off. "Hun…" The hell-dog's ear twitched and he gulped as he turned just when the demons' spell wore off, exposing them for all to see.

"Intruders!" The first guard barked upon seeing them all. Before any of them could react, more dog-demons burrowed up from the ground.

"More workers for the mine!" The guards laughed as they tried to bind the demons together. But as they went to tie up Kisame, the shark-demon smirked before kicking two of them away; Hidan taking the opportunity to tackle two of them to the ground while Kakuzu tied the others up.

"Make sure that when you try to capture someone," Kakuzu grunted as he finished making the knots on the ropes damn-near unbreakable, "Make sure that you're able to handle them."

"Come on!" Hun shouted, "They know we're here, let's go save Deidara and Naruto while we still have the time!"

* * *

><p>"Ha, here it is!" The Diamond-Hunter matriarch barked out in glees as she got to a certain page in her brother's journal, snapping Deidara out of his memories. "Let's see here, 'It was on the 15th of Deidara's second year here that I decided to try a bit of an <em>experiment<em>. So…'

Deidara desperately tried to block the dog-demon's voice out, but even if _she_ wasn't talking, he could hear the voice of Shade offering him a full meal if he walked with him into his private quarters. He could _feel_ the unwelcome shivers he had felt when the adult had run his clawed fingers along his small, frail body. He shut his eyes, trying to escape from his nightmares but just seeing them in full-force: Shade ripping off his simple rags… Deidara's hair feeling like it would be ripped out of his scalp… Being forced into Shade's bed, the pain, the tearing, the tears, the blood…

"So does that mean…" One of the dog-demons in the room asked, licking his lips, "We can…" The matriarch smirked, closing the book and taking a seat,

"Birds of paradise molt when they're miserable. Have fun boys…"

"Get the hell away from me!" Deidara screamed as they opened the cage, one pulling his hair and the other ripping away his clothes. "Don't touch me!"

"Uncle Shade's branding is always so complex…" One of them noted as they looked at the brand-mark on Deidara's neck. "Pretty birdie, how much did it hurt when you got this?"

"Fuck off!" Deidara screamed, not wanting to remember the scalding-hot iron that had forced the damned symbol into his skin. This couldn't be happening again, Deidara screamed in his mind, not again… Never again…

It was when he felt a lukewarm, slobbering tongue at his should that Deidara snapped.

* * *

><p>While they ran through the caverns, Kakuzu and Kisame fighting off attacking guards until Sasuke shifted into dragon-form and surged forward, passing by the next group of dog-demons before he gasped in relief, "Naruto!"<p>

"Sasuke!" Though his words were muffled, Naruto's eyes widened before he threw the shovel at one of the surrounding dog-demons and rushed over to hug the dragon's head, Sasuke ripping away the cloth, "You came back!"

"You doubted me?" Sasuke rumbled.

While the two younger males had their reunion, Sasori rushed over to one of the fallen guards and yelled, "Where's my fiancée? Damn it, where is he?"

"Who..?"

"The bird-demon with the golden hair, _where is he_?" A blood-curdling scream sounded from one of the adjacent hallways, Sasori's eyes going wide in shock as he yelled, "Deidara!" When the redhead had left, the rest of the group was left to make sure that Sasori wasn't followed.

"So…" Kisame frowned, cracking his knuckles as he formed them into a fist. "I heard that you like to pick on those who are weaker than you."

The dog-demons whines and yelps rang out through the cavern.

* * *

><p>"Deidara!" Sasori called out as he rushed through hallway after hallway before he stopped in front of a door that had the sounds of a vicious struggle going on behind it. The redhead didn't even think twice before rushing in.<p>

Needless to say, he wasn't expecting to see two other dog-demons unconscious in the corners of the room or Deidara currently strangling their mother: a look of cold ice in his eyes.

"Deidara?"

The bird-demon didn't respond, unless you would take the tightening of his hands as an answer. Sasori gulped, not wanting to incur Deidara's wrath while he was in this state. "Deidara, can you hear me?"

"I am _not_ going back to _Spinegate_…"

"No one is even mentioning that… place, Deidara…" Sasori slowly walked over, one step at a time, "But I need you to calm down. Listen to me…" He was on-edge, he knew first-hand that when the blonde was in this state that he wasn't the most stable. "That time at _Spinegate_ is in the past. Now, in the present, you live with me in our beautiful house and boutique. I make clothes, you mix cosmetics, and we have our _beautiful_ son Saso. He loves you _so_ much…"

"Nobody loves me!" Deidara screamed, shoving the female dog-demon away. Tears streamed down his face as s few golden feathers drifted from his hair, "My mother never even _spoke_ to me, my father _sold_ me, for gods sake!"

"Saso loves you," Sasori kept on, gently taking Deidara into his arms, "_I_ love you. I will _always_ love you…" When he was sure that the blonde wouldn't lash out at him, he whispered, "Come now, my precious songbird… You are my most precious treasure. Please, come back to me. I'm sorry that I couldn't defend you, but please…"

Deidara's body trembled like the last leaf of Autumn, beautiful yet desperately fragile. But the blonde took a deep breath before turning in Sasori's arms: his cerulean eyes still dripping tears.

"Danna," He whispered, "Please, take me home."

"Anything you want." Sasori nodded, giving Deidara the outer part of his kimono to wear out of the cave.

Not wanting to put any more pressure on the traumatized Deidara than what was absolutely necessary, Sasori led him out calmly and slowly until they reached the main hub of the cavern. When they arrived, Kakuzu called over, "Is Deidara okay?" Deidara quietly nodded, silently rising a hand to prevent anyone else from getting close to him.

"Look what we got!" Hun barked, pointing to the heavy, jewel-laden carts that Kisame had forced the defeated dog-demons to prepare. "This should be more than enough for your work, right?" But Sasori didn't even look at the carts filled to the brim with treasure. He rubbed Deidara's shoulder, kissing his forehead before he stated,

"Let's get out of here.

* * *

><p>When they got back home to Adamant Falls, everyone stayed to help store the gems and to see that Deidara was really okay. The bird-demon only wanted to get some sleep, so he asked Hidan to fix him a cup of tea before heading to bed.<p>

"Naruto, I promise," Sasuke beseeched the blonde Kitsune, begging, "I will _never_ allow anyone to treat you like those dog-demons did _ever_ again. Can you forgive me?"

"Baka…" Naruto shook his head, offering a light smile, "There's nothing for you to apologize for teme."

'_Teme?'_ Sasuke inwardly groaned, _'Oh gods, he hates me! WHY~?'_ Then Sasori walked over to Hun, kneeling so he could thank the small dog-demon on a closer angle.

"Thank you _so_ much. What can we do for you to repay you?" Hun shook his head, shifting into his other form before he walked out of the door,

"**I just want to live like a normal child. So can you not mention this to the others?"** But when he walked out, he popped his head back in before saying, **"Not all dog-demons are bad. Try to remember that."** Then he was gone.

* * *

><p><strong>OMAKE<strong>

"Deidara?" Sasori called out into the master bedroom, "I've finally finished Konan Pacon's dresses… Did you want to see?" It had been a week since the disaster with the Diamond-Hunters and Deidara hadn't gone out of the house unless it was completely necessary. He sighed as he almost tripped on a pair of shoes on the dark floor, "I see the room is dark again…" He adjusted the dimmer switch on the wall so he could actually make his way over to the bed where his fiancée was laying on his side.

"Are you happy with them?" Deidara asked back, moving a bit so he could hear Sasori better. The scorpion-demon nodded before he sat down,

"Yes, but I always love to hear what you have to say. Hm?"

"Why are you trying so hard, un? Deidara whispered back. Sasori was quiet before he picked something up from the pillow.

It was a golden feather that held all the brilliance of the sun.

"Deidara. I'm trying hard so that I can have the golden bird that I know and love back." He picked up a few more feathers, the incredibly sought after treasures just signs of his love's depression, "Saso misses his mother."

"I know, it's just…" Deidara rolled over onto his back, "It's hard, un. I've been working so _hard_ to forget what the Diamond Hunters forced me to remember." Sasori winced as the blonde began crying, whispering between tears, "My father sold me to a work-camp when I was six. I was _raped_ when I was _eight_ Sasori." The blonde took a shaky breath, wiping away tears that dropped from his eyes, "I can't even figure out why you would want to stay with me, let alone touch me, un."

"Shush…" Sasori whispered, brushing the blonde's drooping bangs from his eyes. "There we go, gold and azure gem of mine. Deidara, I am sorry that you went through that awful experience as a child. But no matter what," He took his fiancée's hand, "I could never see myself abandoning you for _any _reason." Deidara was quiet: what had he done in his past life for the gods to send him such an angel?

"Oh danna…" The bird-demon sat up, wrapping his arms around the scorpion-demon's shoulders, "Thank you…" Sasori chuckled, bringing his hands to pat the blonde's back.

"No need to thank me. Now come on…" Sasori stood up, holding out his hand, "I really do want to hear your thoughts on these dresses before I go deliver them." Deidara looked at the offered hand for a moment. Then his face grew into one of his trademark smiles, his hand moving forward.

"Alright."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**Okay, well. Like I said last week, I'm doing a double-update (all the way across the _sky_...) this time around because this update was... meh. **

**Please read on. **

**-Tyranno's girl**


	32. Orange, Brown, Gold Part 1

Goldleaf Farms was always a center of activity. Today was no different as cattle were being tended to, wheat cut down, oranges picked, bees tended to…

And behind the barn, a blue arrow cut through the air as it rushed through and embedded itself just a few inches away from a bull's-eye painted into the wall.

"Yes!" Kisame Hoshigaki whooped, doing a backflip, as he had just shot the arrow that he thought would win him the game he was playing against Kakuzu.

"Damn," Kakuzu whistled as he measured the distance, "Not a bad shot for a demon that's constantly wet behind the ears."

"Really?" Kisame smiled, handing Kakuzu the crossbow, "Think you can do better, stitches?" Kakuzu only smirked as he placed a black arrow inside the crossbow and took aim. The arrow was launched, landing in the wall just outside of the bull's-eye circle.

"Oh, fuck me!" The brunette gritted out, Kisame chuckling,

"Looks like the shark knows better than the scarecrow. You _do_ realize that the object of the game is to hit the _center_ of the bull's-eye, right?" Kakuzu narrowed his eyes as he shoved the crossbow into Kisame's hands,

"Just shut up and take your turn." Kisame shrugged before shooting another blue arrow. But he hadn't exactly _aimed_, so the arrow landed in the head of the cornfield's scarecrow; a couple of crows laughing at the blunder. "Wow Kisame… You _literally_ cannot hit the broad side of a barn!"

"I don't know why _you're _laughing," Kisame raised an eyebrow, "I still have the closest shot." Kakuzu only smirked as he took the crossbow,

"Allow me to remedy that." The brunette took close and careful aim, making sure that the center of the bull's-eye was in the center of his own, and _then_ took the shot. The black arrow rushed through the air before landing with a swift thud in the center. "And _that's_ how it's done my friend!" Kisame's eyebrow twitched, the bluenette whispering,

"I… lost?"

"Don't dwell on it," Kakuzu hummed as he picked up the tools from their little game, "It's all in good fun." While he was working, Kakuzu didn't see Kisame reach into his pants pocket for a pill bottle. The shark took two pills out of it, swallowing them and taking a deep sigh before whispering,

"Hoshigakis don't lose…" Kakuzu put the tools away, walking back over to his friend,

"Besides, you're an excellent athlete. I'm just better here on land." That tore it, rather than take more pills, Kisame followed Kakuzu as the stitch-demon went to go check on his kids,

"So you think you're hot shit huh?"

"The hottest." Kakuzu smiled before blinking as Kisame turned him around, competitive fire in his eyes,

"I challenge you then, to an Iron Conch Trial!"

"The collection of events to show a water-demon's strength and agility?" Kakuzu asked, Kisame nodding. The stitch-demon thought about it for a moment before smirking, "You're on."

"Shake on it." Kisame returned the gesture, both demons spitting in their hands before clasping them together in a firm handshake.

* * *

><p>On the third day of the following week (which happened to be the third <em>week<em> of the month; water-demons were _huge_ on the number three), Itachi and Hidan watched on as Kisame and Kakuzu performing all sorts of stretches and warm-up exercises in preparation for their event.

"What are they doing again?" Itachi asked even though he found it hard to keep his eyes off of Kisame's muscles. Hidan was pretty much in the same predicament as he began, "An I—"

"An Iron Conch Trial!" Kakuzu interrupted as he moved into lunges. Hidan's ears drooped before he began again,

"A collection of—"

"A collection of events," Kisame spoke up as he did a few sit-ups, "To display strength and agility for water-demons." Hidan was fuming as he was getting interrupted so many times, so Itachi asked,

"So why are we here?" Kisame jumped up from his laying position and smiled,

"To judge of course! We need two sets of painfully honest eyes to make sure that this competition stays clean and keep track of the scores that will most likely shift to my favor!" Kakuzu could only shake his head,

"Pride goes before the fall my friend.", before he tied his hair back.

* * *

><p>In the past few days, the extra bit of land near the apple and peach orchards had been transformed into a humble yet powerful stadium prepared for each and every event of the competition. It even had its own announcer.<p>

"Welcome one and all to this year's Iron Conch Trial!" Sasuke announced via a personal microphone. Itachi walked over and asked, looking around,

"_Who_ are you talking to?" Sasuke gulped,

"Um… Er, uh… Them!" Just in the nick of time, Sasori, Deidara, Zetsu, Tobi, Naruto, Ivan, and Alfred walked in through the farm gates to watch the little show that their friends were presenting. "Let the games begin!" The group cheered, Itachi shaking his head at his friends' antics.

* * *

><p>The first event was stone-jumping, a path of stones had been placed in a dusty path and the person with the fastest, smoothest time for jumping across them would be the winner. "Ready…" Hidan called out, Kakuzu stepping up first. "Set…" He got into position. "Go!" Hidan shouted, Kakuzu rushing over the first half of the stone-path with ease. He flinched, however, around the third to the last stone and his foot touched the dusty ground.<p>

"Son of a bitch!" He murmured as he finished his run. As he walked back to the start of the path, Hidan asked Sasuke,

"What was the time on that scales?" Sasuke looked at his watch and stated,

"17 seconds." Kisame gulped, Kakuzu laughing,

"That means I broke my old record from secondary school!"

"But…" Sasuke sighed, "There's a five second penalty for touching the ground near the end."

"Shit!" The stitch-demon kicked a poor, defenseless rock out of the way, "But still, that's twenty-two seconds. Not bad." He glanced over to his side to see Kisame warily regarding the track before he nudged his friends shoulder, "Come on, just try your best." It took a moment, but Kisame gave a small smile and nodded his head before he walked to the starting line.

"Ready… Set…" Itachi called out, Kisame getting ready. "Go!" Itachi was nearly knocked over by the small gust of wind that was created when Kisame surged out of the starting point, quickly jumping over stone after stone until he passed the finish line.

"Damn…" Kakuzu smiled, adjusting his pony-tail as Kisame power-walked all the way back, "Fancy foot-work as always."

"Thanks," Kisame panted, giving the brunette a high-five, "But I couldn't have gone as fast as you. Sasuke, time?" The dragon looked at his watch and gasped,

"18 seconds!"

"18?" Kakuzu blinked, punching his friend in the shoulder, "Are you sure that you weren't doing any behind-the-scenes training for this?" Nonetheless, everyone cheered as Itachi held Kisame's hand up and stated,

"Hoshigaki Kisame wins the Stone-Jumping race!" Zetsu, who was in charge of the scoreboard, shifted Kisame's score from zero to one.

"I can't believe I did it." Kisame shook his head as Hidan and Itachi congratulated him, Kakuzu gritting out (a bit of jealousy forming),

"Don't get used to it."

* * *

><p>The next event had Kisame walking up to contraption with a hammer's head attached to a bull's eye and a bell on the high, high top of it. Kisame dusted off his knuckles before he punched the bull's eye, sending the hammer head up to ring the bell.<p>

Everyone (and the group had grown since the last event by a couple of people) applauded, Kisame basking in the praise as he walked over to the bench where Kakuzu was sitting. The brunette chuckled, "Nice try, but let _me_ show you how it's done." Kisame watched as Kakuzu walked up to the contraption. He pulled his fist back and sent it flying into the bull's eye, crushing it and sending the hammer head up and straight _through_ the shattered bell.

Everyone cheered, Itachi and Hidan celebrating the winner as Kisame looked at the scene with his mouth wide open in awe. Kakuzu chuckled, walking over as Zetsu changed his score from zero to one, "Here's something to close up that big mouth of yours." He punched the tree, an apple falling into Kisame's mouth.

* * *

><p>In the bleachers that had been built to watch the games, all nineteen of Kakuzu and Hidan's kids sat and cheered their father on. On the bottom row of seats, Mizuki and Hun held up a flag with a poorly drawn shark on it; Mizuki giving a weak "Yay." Occasionally.<p>

The next event had to take place in a pool, Sasuke being given a pair of red-stained pants to wear. "Why do _I_ have to do this?" He asked Itachi as he buttoned the pants up. His nose scrunched up as he smelt something, "Ugh, what are these things covered in?"

"Fish blood." Hidan licked his lips as he shoved the dragon into the pool.

"What the fuck?" Sasuke gasped as he broke the water's surface. He looked over at the other side where Kakuzu was stepping into the water: his eyes blindfolded but his nose and ears keying in on the navy-bluenette. "Gods help me –"

"Go!" Hidan yelled, Kakuzu charging through the water towards Sasuke, the dragon desperately trying to get away from the stitch-demon's hunting efforts. The chase went on for a couple of minutes, a quick game of cat and mouse, before Kakuzu grabbed Sasuke's leg and stood up; holding the dragon by his ankle. Everyone whooped and hollered, Kakuzu removing his blindfold and dropping Sasuke back into the water before walking off.

"Can this day get any worse?" Sasuke groaned, gulping in horror as he saw Kisame swim into the pool in shark-form. Itachi deftly blindfolded the shark before calling out,

"Go!" But as soon as the call had been given, Sasuke couldn't have _flown_ out of the water fast enough before Kisame fell upon him and, in a few seconds, ripped the blood-stained clothes right off of the dragon's legs and flung him into a haystack.

"Fuck my life…" Sasuke groaned in pain, gulping when he realized that he was now naked from the waist down. He deftly pulled the haystack up around his waist and rain for shelter; a blush of pure embarrassment staining his face.

* * *

><p>The next event had Sasuke dressed up as a very angry looking cow. Kisame was struggling to keep a rope lasso in the air, but Kakuzu was effortlessly spinning his own around; managing to actually perform a few tricks before he tossed it over to Sasuke.<p>

The young dragon yelped in indignation as he was tied up like an animal, gritting out, "How did I get roped into this?" Kakuzu took a bow, relishing his praise, before he looked over and saw that Kisame had managed to tie himself to a fence.

"Does this count?" The shark-demon asked as he struggled to free himself.

"Come on…" Kakuzu hissed as he desperately tried to juggle a twenty-pound stone ball in the air. But soon he lost his balance, falling to the floor as the stone ball rolled over to Kisame; the bluenette effortlessly juggling four stone balls and picking up the one that Kakuzu had dropped.

A group of flying demons had stopped by in the clouds to watch, showering Kisame in flowers for his performance.

Next came barrel-tossing. Kisame hefted up a giant barrel of cider before throwing it forward down a specified path; the barrel bouncing as it made it to the end. Kisame laughed at Kakuzu as he walked to the end of the path; a few feet from where his barrel landed.

His laughter was cut off when another barrel crashed on top of him. Kakuzu chuckled as Zetsu readjusted the scoreboard in his favor.

* * *

><p>The next event was smaller but by no means any less taxing on both competitors. An arm-wrestling match where Kisame obviously had the upper hand. "Give it up Kakuzu…" Kisame smiled as Kakuzu struggled to move his non-budging arm.<p>

"_Never!_" The brunette gritted out, beads of sweat rolling down his brow as he fought on. Kisame only shrugged his shoulders before flipping Kakuzu over, easily winning the match.

"Let's… Go!" Kisame called out as he kicked a blue soccer ball into the air, just underneath a cloud where a group of flying demons was sitting. Kakuzu, as to not let himself be beat, kicked a black soccer ball up into the skies; nearly hitting one of the spectators in the head as it rushed above them.

"What's left?" Itachi asked Hidan as the two checked the list of events. Meanwhile, Sasuke was speaking into his faithful microphone once more,

* * *

><p>"Ladies and gentlemen! At the halfway point of this competition, the results are tied at five and five! Who will win this stunning competition? Kisame 'The Wave-Runner' Hoshigaki or Kakuzu 'The Dark Menace' Hoku?" Itachi growled, Sasuke's announcements ruining his concentration, before he snapped,<p>

"_Who_ are you talking to?"

"_Them,_ of course!" Sasuke stated, waving his arms out towards all the demons of Adamant Falls who had come to watch the events; making it into some sort of festival.

* * *

><p>The following event had started up full of energy and promise. But after three hours, people were starting to get a bit tired of watching two admittedly handsome demons do push-ups in a puddle of water. "9,996…" Hidan counted out, Kisame and Kakuzu going down before coming up, "9,997…"<p>

Both demons were drenched with sweat, feeling the burn from the workout. "9,998…9,999…" Both demons went down, neither sure if they would make it back up for the final. But then Kisame used the water below to help give him a boost to force himself up, Hidan announcing, "10,000!"

"Shit!" Kakuzu groaned, falling flat on his stomach. As he watched everyone cheer Kisame on, he gritted his teeth in silent fury.

* * *

><p>"Long-jump competitors," Hidan called out to Kakuzu and Kisame as they stood near a specified jumping area. "Ready… Go!" Kakuzu rushed forward, keeping up a good speed until he jumped up over the remainder of the trail and firmly planted his feet into the water-pit at the end. Sasuke quickly marked the landing point before Itachi called out,<p>

"Ready…" Kisame gulped a bit, "Go!" The shark-demon sped forward jumping at the specified point. But he clenched his teeth when he saw that he was going to land near Kakuzu. He caused a small wave of water to surge up; sliding down and landing into a further spot; winning the event.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me." Kakuzu gritted out, his anger growing.

* * *

><p>Aw's and coos filled the air as the next event took place. You see, Hidan had taken the chicks of two chickens and given an equal amount to Kakuzu and Kisame. They would have to cross through a trench of water without harming the chicks and give them back to their frantic parents. Kakuzu smiled, jumping into the chest-high water and wading through. Unfortunately, the chicks were none too amused by the constant splashes of water getting on their feathers. So they jumped ship.<p>

By the time Kakuzu made it to the end of the path, he gasped when he saw that his chicks were gone. "Oh gods, don't tell me they drowned! They were worth 500 yen each!" But he was soon growling again as Kisame walked on top of the water, both his _and_ Kakuzu's chicks happily dry.

* * *

><p>Finally, with the sun setting; the world being breezed over in the cool air of the on-coming Autumn season, Itachi announced to one and all, "We have come to today's final event! Who will come out on top with the tug of war?" On either sides of a pit filled with icy water (courtesy of Ivan), Kisame and Kakuzu stood, each holding an end of a rope with a flag tied in the center. "Go!"<p>

Both parties began to pull, Kisame's eyes widening as he was almost pulled over the edge so early in the match. "Looks like the stitch-demon might come out ahead in this one!" Sasuke announced to the audience. Kisame growled at that, forcing more chakra into his pulls. The excess chakra, however, started to cause the water in the pit to shift and wave.

"Hey!" Kakuzu yelled out as the water began to splash him, causing him to lose his grip, "Stop fucking around!"

"What?" Kisame called over, Kakuzu explaining,

"Quit cheating!"

"What do you mean?" Kisame questioned, "I never cheat!"

"You're cheating right now!" Kakuzu couldn't believe his eyes and ears, and everyone in the audience was muttering and gasping at the fury between the two friends. "Look at what you're doing?"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" That tore it, Kakuzu switched his grip to one hand so he could point at the water,

"You can't use water-magic to turn the matches into your favor!" But he gulped soon after. Upon giving up half of his pulling power to point out Kisame's foul, he had left himself open for Kisame to pull the rope with vigor: sending the brunette into the pool.

"I WIN!" Kisame roared in laughter, his joy causing the waters to surge up into a fountain that he rode up into the air, announcing, "I won the Iron Conch! Hoshigakis _never_ lose!"

Meanwhile below, Kakuzu pulled his shivering body out of the water. He didn't even stop to find a towel, he rushed straight over to Kisame's victory tower and shouted, "Because they cheat!"

"What?" Kisame snapped, jumping down and moving so that he and Kakuzu's noses were almost touching; glaring at the other, "You want to take back that batch of mud-slinging on my family?"

"Like Hell!" Kakuzu scoffed, "You _know_ you used water-magic to help you win over half of those contests, you cheating ass!" The brunette shoved Kisame away, the shark-demon shoving back,

"You are _so_ jealous!"

"Are you saying that you _didn't _use water-magic?" That caused Kisame to stop in his tracks, thinking,

"Well… I… You…" He snapped his fingers, "You never said that I couldn't!"

"I didn't think that I _needed_ to!" Kakuzu sighed, "Serves me right for thinking that you could play a fair game and -!"

It was Kisame who threw the first punch, tired of Kakuzu's insults, but the stitch-demon was right on the offensive: lunging towards the other and causing both of them to the ground where the fight continued.

"Are you fucking serious?" Hidan rolled his eyes, rushing onto the field with Itachi, Sasuke, and Naruto following. He tried his best to pull the two feuding parties apart, but they were so vicious that the cat-demon couldn't even get close.

It took half an hour (and most of the spectators leaving) until the two water-demons got tired; both laying on the ground and panting heavily as sweat fell down their brows. After another moment, Kisame panted out, "I could have won… _without_ water-magic…"

"Oh yeah?" Kakuzu panted back, "Prove it." Kisame gave a tired huff,

"Gladly… Where?" Kakuzu held up a hand, Hidan using it to help him to his feet as he explained,

"Tomorrow is the start of the annual Fall Festival, beginning with the Leaf-Falling Ceremony. I challenge you to a race through this year's chosen track"

"Ha!" Kisame laughed. He had gone with the committee from last year to help design this year's track: it was filled with rivers and streams that cut through the forests of golden Autumn leaves. He held up his own hand, Itachi and Naruto having to help him up together before he laughed, "Easy as Peach Pie – AY!" He yelped when Kakuzu pulled his ear, frowning,

"One condition: the point of this is to _run_. No swimming, no water-magic. Got it memorized?" When he finally let go, Kisame rubbed his stinging ear before growling out,

"Fine then, shake on it?" Kakuzu spat into his hand, Kisame doing the same before they locked them together.

"Ugh…" Deidara groaned, looking a bit green at the sight before he muttered to Hidan, "Now I see where _you _get it from."

* * *

><p>The next morning, Itachi and Sasuke had started their walk to where the Fall Festival was going to start. However, they were running a bit late… "Itachi, hurry up!"<p>

"Sasuke, why are you so excited to get to the Festival?" Itachi asked as he made sure he had his wallet to buy and sample any sweets that were being served at the event, "You don't even like competitions like this."

"Of course I'm not doing this to compete!" Sasuke shook his head, "But did you see that way that Naruto was so into this competition? I'm hoping to be on announcer duty again so his attention will be keyed in on me. Just listen," He brought out his microphone and stated, "Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to th—"

"Annual Fall Festival!" They both looked up and saw a pumpkin-shaped balloon with a matching basket that held, of all demons, Tobi. The joy-demon smiled as he spoke into a megaphone, "This is Uchiha Tobi: you're official eye in the sky announcer being joined by Uzumaki Naruto today!" Everyone applauded, Sasuke gritting his teeth,

"Son… of… a bitch!"

"As everyone knows," Naruto explained, "This festival is to celebrate all that Amaterasu and Tsukuyomi have done for us. Without their blessings that we receive in this event, the leaves would never fall and the trees of the world would never be refreshed." From the balloon viewpoint, you could see all of the trees around filled with gold and orange leaves, ready to be shaken loose.

"So get ready everyone!" Tobi cheered, "The Leaf Falling Ceremony will begin in _five minutes!_"

* * *

><p>Booths and mini-stores of all sorts had been set up along the trail of the Leaf Falling Ceremony: Kakuzu had told Hidan to make sure that he and their kids had a couple of food-booths set up and Sasori was selling the most adorable pins and jewelry (made from the leftovers of Konan Pacon's dresses) among many others.<p>

The demons that were running in the Ceremony were arriving at the starting line where Kakuzu was already stretching and warming-up. When Kisame showed up and did the same, the brunette frowned, "Ready to run an honest race?"

"Are _you_?" Kisame huffed. Kakuzu shook the sarcasm off and reminded the shark-demon,

"No water-magic!"

"I heard you the first time, _Mom_!" Kisame sighed, standing up to his feet. "Besides, it's not like I _need_ water-magic to win this race."

"Oh really?" Kakuzu smiled.

* * *

><p>A few moments later found Kakuzu tying a black and grey stone to Kisame's wrist, explaining, "This is an <em>Anti<em>-marine, it counteracts all water-magics and makes them null and void. So this way," He tightened the rope one last time, "You _can't_ cheat."

Kisame cinched his teeth, the Anti-marine itching at his wrist. "Fair enough for you – Gods, this thing burns!"

"At least now things are fair." Kakuzu smiled. Just then, Tobi's voice called out,

"Racers, take your positions!" Everyone got ready to begin, but Sasuke flew up to Tobi's balloon and asked,

"Tobi!"

"Hey Sasuke, what's up!" Tobi smiled, but then stopped to think for a minute, "Oh wait, it's me! Tee hee!"

"Right…" Sasuke sighed, "Look, I was wondering if, I mean, if there's enough room in that balloon…"

"Sasuke, come on in!" Naruto called over, Tobi agreeing,

"Yeah, the best sports-announcers are always in groups of three!"

"Sure!" Sasuke laughed, landing into the balloon-basket in normal-form.

* * *

><p>Back on the ground, Kisame and Kakuzu were too busy glaring at each other until they noticed their competitors. "Ivan?" Kisame asked, "You're participating?"<p>

"Only because _he_," The Baba Yaga pointed a thumb over to where Alfred was waiting for the race to start, "Was challenging me." But that wasn't the only surprise. A moment later, Itachi walked into the group of racers and positioned himself to start.

"Itachi…" Kakuzu asked, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm running of course." The weasel-demon explained. While he talked on and on about how he used to read about events like this in books and how he's always wanted to try one, he didn't notice Kakuzu, Ivan, and Alfred's snickers or Kisame shaking his head.

"Is everyone ready?" Naruto called out. Everyone settled down.

"Get set…" Sasuke spoke up.

"GO!" Tobi shouted, all of the participants beginning to run, their motions causing leaves to gently fall from their branches.

The Leaf Falling Ceremony was on.


	33. Orange, Brown, Gold Part 2

"Welcome to the official sky-coverage of this year's Leaf Falling Ceremony!" Naruto addressed one and all as the pumpkin-balloon floated over the race.

"You know guys," Tobi hummed, "Despite the name, the leaves don't actually fall by themselves? It's all thanks to our strong, speedy demons out there!"

"Yes Tobi…" Sasuke sighed, his face just _screaming_ 'what the fuck', "That's how this Festival has been done from ages ago to this very day."

"Oh…" Tobi sighed, "I guess even leaves need a bit more motivation."

"But this year," Naruto spoke up, "The race is about more than the weather! It's about the two demons who want to beat each other to the finish-line: Hoshigaki Kisame and Hoku Kakuzu!" Said demons were at the front of the pack, already keeping up a good distance from the others.

"These two demons have a bit of a grudge match going on," Sasuke explained, "Each wanting to prove who's the most powerful; the most athletic."

"Right!" Tobi smiled, "And grudge rhymes with fudge!"

"Yes, it…" Sasuke shook his head, "Does? Wait, _what?_" Tobi beamed,

"And Tobi _loves_ fudge! Not so much with the nuts in it, but if fudge is there, Tobi will eat it for sure! But if Tobi eats too much fudge, he'll get a pudge, and then Tobi won't budge…" Naruto blinked, Sasuke only asking,

"So… No fudge."

"No thanks!" Tobi shook his head, "Tobi had a big breakfast. Let's check in with Kisame and Kakuzu!" They moved the balloon so they could see the two water-demons going against each other with competition blazing in their eyes. "They're neck and neck, it's such a tense match-up! But what's this?" Kakuzu smirked as he stepped it up a notch, speeding up his gait so he was up ahead, "Kakuzu's ahead by a hair! But look!" Kisame matched the brunette's speed, "Now Kisame's up ahead by a hair! Or maybe three-quarters of a hair? 63.7% of a hair!"

When the joy-demon looked over, he saw Naruto shaking his head as Sasuke glared at him. "Roughly speaking." He giggled. But they looked down to see that the race had come to a river. Kakuzu took this opportunity to rush through the water, leaving Kisame behind, "Kakuzu's using those strong, working-class legs to break ahead!"

* * *

><p>"Not so easy without water-magic, now is it?" Kakuzu chuckled. Kisame gritted his teeth, looking at the Anti-marine on his wrist,<p>

"Come on Kisame…" He sped up, the splash of water giving him a bit more energy, before he caught up to the brunette. "Ha! Suck it!"

"You wish, I –AH!" Kakuzu was interrupted when he tripped on a rock, sending him to the ground as all the other competitors passed him up: leaves falling to the ground en mass. "This is BULLSHIT!" He shouted, kicking the ground as he stood to his feet.

"Calm down Kakuzu," Itachi said as he came back from a nearby stand, "You want a leaf-shaped chocolate? They detailed these _so_ intricately!"

"Fuck the candy, Itachi!" Kakuzu gritted out, "Your paramour up there just tripped me!"

"No he didn't!" Itachi protested, "If you would slow yourself down a bit and enjoy the festival, like me, you would see that you tripped on a rock!"

"What?" Kakuzu gasped, looking down and seeing the culprit, "By Gobi's fruited plains, I have to catch up to Kisame!" With that, the stitch-demon was off.

"Be careful!" Itachi offered before he walked along, admiring the beautiful Autumn scenery and cool weather.

* * *

><p>Kisame was speeding along a new length of forest when he looked back and saw that there was no one around. "Ha!" He laughed as he allowed himself to slow into a power-walk. Just then, Kakuzu rushed by, calling out,<p>

"See you at the finish-line shark-bait!"

"I don't believe it!" Sasuke said as Kisame growled and went to catch up to Kakuzu, "After that _huge_ setback, Kakuzu is up at the front of the pack!"

"He's the head of the pack," Tobi nodded, "The pick of the litter! The cat's pajamas! Wait a minute…" The joy-demon thought, "Why would Kakuzu take some poor kitty's pajamas? That's not very nice."

"I have no idea…" Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Okay…" Naruto whistled, "Let's get back to the race." Down below, Kisame shouted,

"Get back here Kakuzu! This race isn't over yet!" Kakuzu chuckled,

"It is for you!", before he rushed ahead. Kisame wanted to follow the movement, but his feet got caught on a stray tree-root, sending him to the ground.

"I don't believe this!" Kisame panted as he jumped to his feet, "Kakuzu tripped me?"

"Don't you water-demons watch where you're going?" Itachi asked as he walked over from a stand that sold charms, "You tripped on a tree-root! See?" Kisame nodded, glaring in the direction of the race,

"Oh I _see_ alright. Kakuzu's lying stitches are what I _see_!"

"It was an accident!"

"Why are you defending _him_?" Kisame growled before shaking his head, you know what? Forget it, I need to win this race." The shark-demon ran off, smirking to himself, "You want to change the rules, stitches? Fine. En garde, bitch!"

"Here we are at the Golden Mead Bridge!" Naruto announced as the racers soon reached a large bridge that was suspended over a waterfall that poured out golden wine instead of water. Sasuke nodded,

"Yes and Kisame's trying his best to catch up to the lead!"

"Tobi doesn't know how ketchup would help here," Tobi thought for a second, "But in a hot-dog eating contest, it can make things nice and slippery! But personally, Tobi likes mustard! Not that Tobi really eats hot dogs, they remind him too much of the 'special time' that he spends with Zetsu-san and also…" Seeing as how Sasuke looked like he was about to strangle Tobi or himself, Naruto took an empty cup and dipped it into the waterfall as they passed by.

"Here, you look like you could use a drink." He presented the cup to Sasuke, who thankfully took it.

"Lookie, Kisame has just overtaken Kakuzu!" Tobi cried. Indeed, Kisame passed Kakuzu into the next part of the race.

"The next leg of the race is White-Fang woods!" Naruto announced. "And Kisame is in the lead!" Kisame rushed into the woods and found a branch that seemed like it could stand up to some bending.

"Oi, Kakuzu! Think fast!"

"Huh?" Kakuzu blinked before he made a forced meeting with a branch. "Son of a bitch!" Kisame laughed as he ran off, Kakuzu growling, "He did that on purpose?" The brunette looked around before he saw another strong branch and smirked, "Two can play at this game, Hoshigaki…" He got on top of it before using a rope to pull it back just so… "Let's go!" He shouted, cutting the rope and sending himself flying towards the race-track. Meanwhile, Kisame was chuckling to himself,

"That'll show that cheater who's boss –"

* * *

><p>"Sayonara!" Kakuzu called out as he rushed past the shark, Kisame growling and trying to speed up once again. Kakuzu finally landed into a quick run, not before passing a tree with a wasp's nest in it. He laughed as he punched the tree and rushed off. But Kisame's eyes went wide as he saw the furious insects rushing towards him… "I wonder what this year's prize is…" Kakuzu wondered as he ran, but was soon passed up by a screaming Kisame who was trying to avoid the angry wasps.<p>

The trick had gotten him an unexpected advantage, Kisame thought as he jumped into a bush to avoid the wasps. When they dispersed, he frowned before seeing a signpost that had been placed to direct the racers. Kisame quickly spun the sign around so that it pointed the opposite direction and hid in the bush again.

Sure enough, Kakuzu ran up and looked at the sign before following the directions: running up a harsh, mountain trail. Kisame was sure to reverse the sign afterwards and start running again, sure that he would win now…

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><p>Kakuzu panted as he made it to the top of the mountain, looking around for any signs of the race-track. But then, from up above, Tobi called, "Kakuzu-san! What are you doing up here?" Naruto added,<p>

"There aren't even any trees!" Kakuzu stopped to take his breath, explaining,

"But the sign pointed up here and…" As realization hit his mind, his eyes narrowed and he gritted out, "Kisame…" He groaned before asking the balloon-riding trio, "Can I get a lift?"

* * *

><p>Kisame (and the other racers <em>far<em> behind him) soon reached a new forest filled with demons tapping Maple trees for sap so they could make syrup. Kisame was brimming with confidence, but it was soon shattered as he saw Kakuzu dropping in from the pumpkin-balloon. "What the hell?"

"Stick it up your ass!" Kakuzu shouted as he picked up the pace. When he was up ahead, Kakuzu snatched one of the buckets up tree-sap away from a by-stander and spilled it on the ground. When Kisame rushed by, his feet immediately stuck.

"I have to say," Tobi laughed, "This has been the most interesting running of the leaves in Adamant Falls history!" Sasuke frowned, muttering under his breath,

"Or at least the most interesting announcing…"

Below, Kisame growled as he tried to get himself loose: all of the other runners rushing past him. But when he would pull one way, the sap would pull him back in the other. But after a moment, Kisame saw that he could use this to his advantage. So he rushed back as far as he could and the sap pulled him forward, sending him flying towards Kakuzu.

When he made impact, however, they both went flying into a nearby rushing river. When they could finally regain their bearings, both water-demons growled at each other before Itachi's voice asked, "Excuse me, but shouldn't a race involve _running_?", as the weasel-demon walked by.

"He's right…" Kisame panted, Kakuzu quirking an eyebrow,

"He is?"

"Yeah," The bluenette nodded, "If you want to beat me, then you'd better start running!" With that, Kisame ran off; Kakuzu following close behind. The sound of festive instruments and cheers signaled that they were close to the finish line. Kisame smirked, sharp teeth showing, as he shoved against Kakuzu: trying to knock him out of the race.

"Oh no he didn't!" Naruto gasped. Kakuzu gritted his teeth before he returned the shove.

"Oh yes he _did_!" Tobi nodded. The two shoved against each other back and forth, back and forth, before Kakuzu yelled,

"Cut it out!"

"You cut it out!" Kisame snapped back.

"You started this!" Kakuzu frowned. But Kisame could only nod,

"Damn straight, and _I'm _going to finish it!", before he jumped into and ran along the river that led to the finish line. Kakuzu grabbed the shark-demon's arm, wanting to throw him behind but he ended up ripping off the Anti-Marine. "THAT'S IT!" Kisame roared, snapping his fingers to make his sword appear, "Screw you, screw this race, and screw the rules, I'm a Hoshigaki!" At that, the sword shifted into the shape of a surfboard. Kisame jumped on and then used his chakra to agitate the river-water into a wave that would carry him to the finish line.

"Get back here!" Kakuzu yelled, jumping over and tackling Kisame back to solid ground. The two were then locked in a vicious fight of punches, kicks, and bites as they both rolled towards the finish line.

"It's Kakuzu! It's Kisame!" Tobi cheered, "It's Kakuzu! It's Kisame!" Finally, after they had fought across the finish line, Kisame kicked Kakuzu away, hosting some vicious bruises, and shouted,

"I WIN!" Kakuzu punched him in the jaw, bleeding from a few bite marks, before he yelled,

"No, _I_ WIN!"

"You guys _tied_…" Sasuke announced, desperately trying to hold back his laughter. The shark-demon and the stitch-demon's eyes went wide,

"TIED?"

"For first?" Kisame asked hopefully.

"For thirty-third, yay!" Tobi cheered. But Kisame was _not_ happy…

"BULLSHIT!" He cried, taking out a bottle of pills from his pocket, "Who won then?" They looked over when the jingling of a medal could be heard, but they gasped as they saw Itachi holding the golden prize. "_YOU?_"

"Oh no…" Itachi shook his head, unwrapping a candied-apple that he had bought along the way, "I came in sixth place. But it is pretty good considering that I had never run a race before."

"But you were _so slow_!" Kakuzu shook his head. But Itachi rolled his eyes, taking a bite of the sweet,

"No, I _paced_ myself, like my book said, and I enjoyed the festival. Then, when everyone else was exhausted…" He glanced over to where a group of demons were desperately trying to recuperate themselves, "I sprinted for the finish-line." Kakuzu was simply dumbstruck, Kisame taking a handful of the pills before he asked,

"Again, _who_ won?"

"YEAH!" Alfred whooped and hollered as he held up a large trophy, "I won, who won? ME!" Ivan walked over and offered the two something to drink, explaining,

"Do not think too much about it. My sunflower heard the announcers say that 'the first one to the finish-line would win'… And they never _exactly_ said that you _had_ to follow the race-route."

"You're shitting me!" Kakuzu sputtered out, spitting out some of the water that had been in his throat. Kisame collapsed to the ground, groaning,

"As _mad_ as I am, that _actually_ makes sense…" He stayed there for a moment until he sighed, "This was _not_ a good day of sportsmanship."

"And birds go tweet," Kakuzu joined his friend on the ground, "Gods, this day was a wreck."

"Am I sensing a bit of pessimism?" Everyone gasped, heads bowing all around as two familiar newcomers came onto the scene.

"Lord Sanbi and Rokubi-sama?" Itachi gasped, bowing his head. As he bowed, Kakuzu asked,

"What are you two doing here?" Rokubi chuckled as a leaf floated down onto his shoulder,

"I love the fall, so I got this big lug to bring me here so we could celebrate the changing of the seasons."

"Ne, do you have to insult me in front of everyone like that?" Sanbi sighed. "But you know, that had to be the best Leaf Falling Ceremony ever! So many tricks, so much cunning, so –"

"So many leaves that are still on the trees." Rokubi dead-panned, cutting off his husband's speech. "Do you two think that you could help with that?"

"Sure!" Kisame jumped up, stretching his arms, "As long as the old man is up to it."

"Are you talking about yourself?" Kakuzu chuckled before giving a silent countdown before he and Kisame were off: laughing as their steps helped more leaves fall from their homes in the branches down below.

"So…" Sanbi cleared his throat after the two had left, asking Itachi, "You two gone out yet?"

"Baka!" Rokubi frowned, smacking the shark-deity upside the head but inwardly laughing at Itachi's blushing face.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**And that is it for this week. If anything seems a bit off, I was editing these chapters while in my English class (not much going on here...) so please be understanding. **

**Fanart... Coming soon. **

**Thanks for Reading. Please review.**

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	34. Feathers of Yellow and Blue Part 1

**A/N: Hey everyone... Let's cut to chase shall we? I have been working on fanart for this fic (I know, get in your Fluttershy-esque 'yays') but I had some school drama this week, so the first picture won't be up until next week. **

**So, in order to sate the masses, here is this week's update.**

**Thank yous and cookies go to: FMJ26, Zetsu's Rose, and Alexa Hiwatari. **

**OH MY GOD I HAVE OVER ONE-HUNDRED REVIEWS! As Rainbow Dash said: 'Ohmigosh, ohmigosh, omigosh, omigosh!'**

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><p>Birds and small creatures were wandering about their many ways around Zetsu's cottage one sunny morning. Inside the tree-hewn house, Zetsu had just finished wrapping a mouse's leg in a cast and set the creature in a miniature wheel-chair, "There you go Whiskers-san." He wheeled the tiny chair over to a hole in the wall where his family was waiting for him. "Now just stay off of that leg and eat those berries I got for you, and you'll be back scurrying in no time."<p>

Whisker-san's wife waved to Zetsu as she rolled him into their home, Zetsu smiling, "No problem at all. Take care now."

Himawari the rabbit rushed in through the door, holding a watch and panicking as she rushed over to the plant-demon. When she got close to him, he asked, "Himawari. You… Found a watch?" Himawari waved the watch around before moving her arms like the hands of a watch, "You want to _be_ a watch?" The white rabbit rolled her eyes before thinking of what she could do to get her owner to understand when Ongakuhana called,

"Daddy! Aren't you going to be late?" Zetsu gasped as he looked at a cuckoo-clock on the wall, seeing the time,

"Oh no! I'm going to be late, for a very important date!" He looked at the note that Tobi had left him on his refrigerator, "Lord Sanbi and Rokubi-sama are coming to town for a brunch at _Swirl_! I promised Itachi that I'd be there, but I'm not there! Do I look okay, should I change my clothes?"

The sound of fanfare rang through the air, Zetsu groaning, "Why am I still here?" With that, the green-haired male rushed out the door. When he was gone, Himawari sighed and hopped over to the door, quickly locking it so Zetsu wouldn't have any second thoughts. She smacked her forehead, however, when the door shook on its hinges. Then Zetsu's voice spoke, "Oh, so sorry. See you later."

* * *

><p>Zetsu rushed through town, desperate to make it to the special occasion before anyone noticed that he wasn't there. He gave a thankful sigh when he saw Kisame at the bakery door, talking with the two guards there. "… So, around how much action do you guys see on a daily basis?"<p>

"Well, that depends…" One of the guards said without changing their stern expression… Or _moving _for that matter. The other added,

"Do you mean action in the line of duty or action on the side?" Kisame tapped his chin before stating,

"In the line of duty?" The two were just about to speak when they saw Zetsu walking over. They crossed swords in front of the door and called out,

"Halt! State your business!"

"Nothing!" Zetsu whispered, backing up from the two fearsome guards, "Never mind, I'll just go home…" Inside, Itachi had just passed by with a small plate of food when he saw Kisame and Zetsu outside, the shark-demon trying to get the plant-demon to come back.

"Sirs?" Itachi asked the guards, "Could you let them in? They're on the list."

"Way to go Itachi!" Kisame chuckled, dragging Zetsu along into the bakery. Zetsu gave a calm smile before speaking,

"Thank you Itachi. And thanks _so_ much for inviting me."

"Of course!" Itachi laughed, "It wouldn't be the same without you all." Over in the kitchen, a rush of blue fire washed over a tray of pies: cooking them to a golden brown. Sasuke frowned as he was on baking duty,

"This is slave labor…" But when Naruto came over to pick up the fresh tray, he smiled, "I'm happy to help!" When Naruto left, Sasuke baked another tray, "This sucks…" Naruto came to pick it up, "I've never had so much fun!" A new tray needed to be baked, "I hate pies…" Naruto picked up said new ray, "I _love _pies!"

They weren't the only ones helping. Naruto cut one of the pies into edible pieces before handing them to the old candy-maker Mr. Cake. He walked around, offering to give people some pie and just making sure they were enjoying themselves, "How's everyone doing? Good? Good…" And, seated at the head table in the room, were Sanbi No Same and Rokubi No Raijuu: both enjoying the small festivities that had been set up in their honor. Mrs. Cake came over with a tray of petit-fours and asked,

"Anything else we can get for you dearies – I mean—Esteemed guests?" Sanbi, who was too busy stuffing his face with sweets, shook his head as Rokubi smiled,

"Everything is perfect Mr. and Mrs. Cake, thank you.", before he picked up one of the small pastries.

"..Sorry I'm late though," Zetsu spoke as Itachi led him to a designated seat at the main table. "I was tending to a patient." Itachi gave a nervous laugh, coughing,

"You and your love of animals! I'm sure that Rokubi-sama and Lord Sanbi will _love_ that about you! I mean, I hope they do! They should! Right? _Right?_" Zetsu blinked at Itachi's sweaty forehead and twitching eyes before he whispered,

"Wow Itachi, and I thought that _I_ get nervous at social events."

"Oh no," Itachi shook his head, "I just want them to approve of my friends. Especially Rokubi-sama…"

"But…" Zetsu hummed, thinking, "They've met us all before."

"_And_ read about you in my reports!" Itachi nodded, dragging Zetsu when he felt that the green-haired male was taking too long, "But this is one of the few times we can all sit down, relax, and break bread together so to speak." Zetsu nodded, smiling,

"Well, I'm sure there's nothing to worry about. This _is_ just a casual visit after all." Just then, there was a scream of,

"Get away! Get away! _Get away!_" They looked over and saw Sasori desperately trying to keep everyone else at a five feet barrier away from his and Deidara's splendid outfits. He had made them especially for Juubi to see, but even though only Sanbi and Rokubi had made it, he didn't want his hard work being tarnished. Deidara struggled not to bite his freshly manicured nails due to the nerve-wracking occasion, but he smiled,

"Oh, that looks good, un." When Mrs. Cake brought some pudding glasses out of the kitchen, "What is it?"

"Does it stain?" Sasori yelled, shoving Deidara behind himself, "Keep it away!" Then they saw Kisame swallow a handful of his pills before taking his seat a few chairs away from Sanbi, his trembling form showing how hard it was to keep in his excitement from being so close to his idol.

"Or maybe…" Zetsu sighed, "Maybe _not_ so casual."

* * *

><p>At his own seat, Hidan frowned as he looked at the foods (some of which he had brought). But he didn't exactly hone his etiquette skills, he was just hoping to get a chance to talk to Nibi No Nekomata and pray for the health of his family. But now he was too busy trying not to make an ass out of himself. His ruby eyes scanned the food selections as he asked Kakuzu, who was sitting next to him, "Which one's the salad fork and <em>what's<em> the appetizer again?"

Kakuzu, who wanted Gobi No Hokou to bless their fields for another harvest before the winter, gulped as he looked at all the food; not knowing how to answer his wife's question. "I don't even know what to eat first…" Hidan gave a small hiss before picking up a random fork and moving it between the fruit salad and the quiche, back and forth, back and forth… Finally, he tossed the fork away and hissed,

"Fuck it, I'm not hungry."

"Same here." Kakuzu groaned.

* * *

><p>Itachi was sincerely beginning to regret his invitation list for this brunch when the whole room got about 10 degrees colder. "My apologies!" Ivan the Baba Yaga called out as he and Alfred walked in.<p>

"Whoa!" The blonde gasped in awe, rushing about and taking in the strange foods and decorations, "This is awesome! What's this? How does _that_ taste? What's _that_?"

Then, to make matters _worse_, Tobi jumped out from the kitchen and bounced about, giggling, "Whoo-hoo! Cupcakes, candies, and pies: Oh my!" He scarfed down a slice of cherry pie before he saw something that made his eyes go wide. "Ooh! Chocolate fountain of chocolaty-goodness!" A second later, he plunged his face into the chocolate fountain and pulled away: a milk chocolate shell forming around his head. It broke away, however, Tobi chewing on the pieces until he rushed over to Rokubi, the weasel-deity about to eat a slice of sweet bread. "Are you going to eat that?" Tobi asked before taking the bread and nibbling at it, Rokubi giving a soft chuckle at the joy-demon's behavior.

But Mr. and Mrs. Cake gasped in horror, Mrs. Cake rushing over to pull Tobi away and Mr. Cake offering a new plate of tea and bread to Rokubi.

"A thousand pardons, my lords."

"That's quite alright." Rokubi reassured the older demon before he took a piece of bread. Sanbi leaned over and asked,

"You going to eat that?"

"Don't even think about it." Rokubi frowned before taking a bite of the bread and following it with a sip of tea.

"Just wake me when it's over…" Itachi hid underneath the table as Zetsu took a seat. But Rokubi looked over and asked,

"Oh, you must be Zetsu, am I right?"

"Me?" Zetsu blinked before clearing his throat, "Yes Rokubi-sama."

"My apologies that Hachibi couldn't make it, he had to help propose a peace treaty between farmer-demons and locusts."

"Because that's _obviously_ a better alternative to coming here…" Sanbi huffed, downing his cup of tea, just for Mrs. Cake to refresh the muscular deity's cup. Rokubi frowned towards his husband before continuing,

"I understand from Itachi's letters that you enjoy tending to forest creatures."

"Oh yes," Zetsu replied, "The animals of this world have a whole, complex existence of their own; outside of demonkind. I just _love_ speaking with them, taking care of them, just to get a glimpse of it." Rokubi smiled,

"I have a feeling that Hachibi would _love _you. But I do understand a bit of what you're saying, I'm quite impartial to animals myself." The weasel-deity looked at Sanbi when he said that, the shark-deity asking,

"What?", with a full mouth. But then Rokubi shook his head and added,

"But I also love keeping the world safe for the welfare of all creatures great and small."

A vicious cough emanated from the covered case between Rokubi and Sanbi. Zetsu blinked but kept listening, or at least tried to when the coughing was joined by wheezing and was made worse. It was a while before Sanbi frowned and spoke,

"Rokubi, your damn bird's acting up again."

"Oh?" Rokubi blinked before he took the cover off of the case, revealing a cage, "Aka, are you awake?" With another wheeze and cough, a slovenly creature that _seemed_ to be of the bird variety pulled itself up to the cage's roost: yellowish and bluish feathers flaking off of its body with every cough and movement. "Oh good, do say good morning to our gracious hosts." The sickly bird wheezed, spittle flecking to the floor.

"Oh my." Zetsu whispered at the bird's haggard state.

"She's quite the sight, isn't she?" Rokubi smiled, tapping the bird on its quickly balding head. Zetsu winced as the bird's head lolled to the side,

"I've never seen anything like her." Just as Rokubi was about to ask for another petit-four, one of Sanbi's guards walked over and whispered something to the shark-deity's ear.

"Are you serious?" Sanbi frowned before sighing, "Rokubi, we have to go."

"Really?" The brunette shook his head, announcing, "Our apologies everyone, but we'll have to cut this event short—"

"What?" Itachi yelped, nearly choking on his tea. Rokubi chuckled,

"We have an appointment with your mayor, but we'll be sure to stop by again before we make our leave."

"Thanks for the chow!" Sanbi smiled, piling up whatever he could on a plate before he and Rokubi were escorted out of the bakery. Zetsu gulped, noticing that Rokubi had left Aka behind. But as soon as the two were gone, Hidan gave a sigh of relief,

"_Now_ I can eat something! Fucking starving…" But just as he reached for some food, Mr. Cake started clearing the table. "Son of a bitch!" The other demons who had attended the brunch were calmly walking out of the bakery, calm, single-file, before a giggling Tobi somersaulted out of the door: toppling everyone over. When the coast was clear, everyone decided to start exiting again. But there was a shout of,

"Stay where you are!" Sasori was gently walking out, Deidara next to him, "Nobody move, and our clothes won't get hurt! Stay back…"

After the two fashionistos were gone, Kakuzu and Hidan left the bakery: the stitch-demon holding a large container of leftovers for his kids.

Finally, the bakery was empty save for Itachi and Sasuke. The weasel-demon gave a deep breath, "I don't know _what_ Rokubi-sama's thoughts on today were. But at least nothing disastrous happened…"

Unbeknownst to him, Aka's cage was open and empty save for a few scarce feathers.

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><p>"Gods save you, you poor thing!" Zetsu gently spoke to Aka as he carried the sick bird into his cottage, "How did you ever get in such bad shape? But don't worry," He set the bird down on the sofa, Aka's head lolling to the side, "I'll nurse you back to health. Rokubi-sama is obviously too busy to take proper care of you, so I'll just do him this favor." Aka only coughed, more feathers falling from her coat. Zetsu frowned, straightening the bird's posture before it flopped over. "Let's get you better right away."<p>

The plant-demon set Aka in a small cot, covering her with a blanket before placing a thermometer in her mouth. However, the second the blanket was covering the bird, the thermometer rose instantly.

"Oh no!" Zetsu ripped the blanket away and placed an ice-pack on the bird's forehead. But, no sooner had the ice-pack touched the skin, the bird started shivering. "Wait a minute." Back and forth the blanket and ice-pack went until the thermometer burst from the stress. "This is worse than I feared, you need medication."

* * *

><p>Zetsu cut a simple cold tablet in half before placing it on a plate and offering it to Aka. "This will fix you right up." Aka sniffed the pill but scoffed out her disgusted response. "I expected as much." Zetsu chuckled, going to the kitchen to get a bag of birdseed. He poured a generous serving on top of the pill, Aka immediately taken in with the trick. When the bird began eating, Zetsu smirked, "It never fails – What the-?" Aka sat back on the roost Zetsu had given her, everything on the plate having been devoured <em>except<em> the pill. "I guess… It _almost_ never fails?" Aka only coughed, more feathers falling off her body.

* * *

><p>Tomatoes, potatoes, and a bit of orange juice (just for vitamin C and a slight tang) boiled away in a small pot: mixing into a delectable smelling soup before Zetsu poured out a small bowl and pushed it towards Aka. "Homemade soup for whatever ails you." Aka sniffed at the soup before turning up her beak, Zetsu sighing,<p>

"Come on, you have to work with me if you want to get better." The plant-demon went to the kitchen and returned with a spoon: taking a small taste of the soup, "Mm! Delicious!" Aka only coughed, a massive, wheezing motion that ended in her head splashing into the soup bowl: air bubbles rising to the top.

"Oh boy… Let's see," Zetsu thought for a moment before he snapped his fingers, smiling, "I'll be right back!"

* * *

><p>Aka had gotten into the grain that Zetsu had stored for his chickens and mice when Zetsu walked back in, calling out, "Aka, look! I brought a fellow avian-friend for you!" Zetsu had a vibrant blue and green hummingbird resting on his pointer finger. "This is Ernest Hummingway, he was sick once but he let me help him become good as new." The hummingbird nodded before floating over to Aka and resting on the larger bird's head.<p>

"Oh look, I think he likes you." The hummingbird flitted back over to the plant-demon before he sang, _"Birds of a feather, fly the skies together… Wings of vibrant shades and all size…"_ The hummingbird hummed along with him until he knelt down to Aka's level. "Come on, you can do it."

Oh, Aka _did it_ alright. The sickly bird promptly vomited up everything she had eaten in the past few minutes: Zetsu recoiling and cleaning his shirt, "Um, good try?"

"Why didn't I think of this before?" Zetsu asked himself as he brought a pail of hot coals into the bathroom, Aka dressed in a small robe and sitting on the counter. "A nice sauna treatment will clear up the tickle in your throat." The plant-demon poured a cup of water onto the coals, steam billowing out into the room. "Mm… That feels _much_ better, right Aka?"

Aka took a deep breath, Zetsu leaning in anticipation… Before the bird coughed, feathers falling to the floor. "Oh Aka-chan…"

"**Looks like you finally found something that you can't heal. Good job!"** Zetsu gasped, turning to the bathroom mirror to see his darker half smirking at him.

"Shut up! Aka will be just fine!" Zetsu grabbed the bird, chuckling nervously, "Don't worry! I know all _sorts_ of other treatments! You'll be fine!"

"**Someone's sounding desperate…"** Black Zetsu chuckled.


	35. Feathers of Yellow and Blue Part 2

**A/N: Should I... Should I..? Hm... How many chapters are left? * reads * Okay, double-update next week because I really want to get to a certain point in this fanfic before the end of October.**

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><p>"Aromatherapy?" Zetsu offered, lighting hundreds of candles and pots of incense in his living room, setting Aka in the middle of it all. Aka took a deep sniff of the scented air before sneezing: more feathers falling off of her.<p>

* * *

><p>"A warm bath?" The plant-demon filled a basin up with water before he set Aka inside. But the bird only absorbed all the liquid in the container: her body swelling up before more fathers flaked off.<p>

* * *

><p>"Ointment!" Zetsu slathered a handful of blue, herbal cream onto Aka's head. But the bird only got a rash from it, more feathers falling off of her body.<p>

* * *

><p>Zetsu was now dressed in the grab of a doctor, his face stern as he asked, "Scalpel?" Himawari handed him the instrument. Zetsu worked for a moment before he asked, "Surgical tape?" The rabbit handed him the tape, the green-haired demon working until he called out, "Feathers!" Himawari pushed a basket of Aka's discarded feathers over until Zetsu grabbed a handful and mixed them into his work.<p>

After an hour of work, Zetsu was left with a sickly bird covered in tape, old feathers, and nicks and cuts. "Oh Aka…" Zetsu whispered, picking the bird up, "I thought it would be _easy_ to cure you. But now look: you're worse than ever! I don't know what's going wrong, I've tried everything I _know_!" Just then, there was a knock at the door. Zetsu rushed over but before he could even ask how it was, Itachi walked in and spoke,

"Hey Zetsu. I've just been going around and thanking everyone for their hard work today with Lord Sanbi and Rokubi-sama, so I wanted to give you – OH MY GODS!" Itachi screamed, his hair frizzing up in sheer horror and panic when he saw sickly Aka sitting on the table. The weasel-demon was quiet for a moment, his eyebrow twitching, before he rushed over and screamed,

"_WHAT_… In the name of the ever-burning fires of _HELL_ is Rokubi-sama's _PET_ doing here?" Zetsu walked over, explaining,

"I couldn't just _leave_ her there! She needed my help!"

"Oh _no_…" Itachi shook his head, desperately not trying to see the current situation of epic disaster in front of him. "Oh _no, no, no, no, NO!_ You cannot _begin_ to comprehend how _bad_ this is!"

"Itachi, how could I just walk away?" Zetsu asked, Itachi screaming,

"She doesn't _belong_ to you!"

"But I—"

"NO!" Itachi cut Zetsu off, "You did this… Unspeakable action without _asking_ anyone or anything? The road to hell is paved with good intentions Zetsu!" After that last outburst, Zetsu sighed,

"You're right…" He winced as Aka coughed behind them. "Let me get a basket for her to rest in while we take her back." Itachi nodded as Zetsu got the basket. When he returned, the brunette shoved the bird inside and closed it up, rushing to the door,

"If we hurry, we can get her back before anyone even—" He gasped in horror as the first thing he saw at the door were two of Sanbi's guards.

"Pardon us," The female water-demon said, "But we were told we could find Uchiha Itachi here?" The male water-demon added,

"We regret to inform you that Rokubi-sama's pet has gone missing." Itachi's eyebrow twitched before he shook his head, gasping,

"_What?_ Oh, how could that happen? Oh, that's not good at all!"

"Yes," One of the guards nodded, "So if you could keep an eye out for it, we would be happy to take any and all information leading to the creature's safe return."

Aka coughed inside of her basket, Itachi immediately covering it up with a forceful cough of his own, "Damn, the salt in the air. I'm still getting used to it." The guards both nodded before taking their leave, Itachi wishing them good luck in their search before he shut the door behind them. The weasel-demon sank to the floor, his heart beating a mile a minute in his chest. "I just lied to a member of Lord Sanbi's Royal Guard…" He looked up and yelled when he saw Zetsu trying to leave out the back door, "What the hell are you doing now?"

"Going to give Aka back to Rokubi-sama." Itachi rushed over, blocking Zetsu from leaving,

"We can't _now_!"

"But why?" Zetsu asked, confused at Itachi's demeanor. Itachi tried to catch his breathing but he failed as he quickly explained,

"As calm, beautiful, and graceful Rokubi-sama is, he's _still_ the deity of thunder! You have _no idea_ what he's going to do once he finds out that you kidnapped his pet!"

"Itachi, honestly," Zetsu tried to open the door, Itachi blocking him still, "What's the worst that can happen?" Itachi shook his head before explaining,

"He'll probably banish you! Or lock you in a dungeon! Or banish you and then lock you in a dungeon in the place that he banished you to!"

"Would he…" Zetsu gulped, his mind picturing the dismaying possibility, "Really _do that_?" Itachi gave a mirthless chuckle,

"Let's just say I'll write you." But then his over-stressed mind thought out loud, "Unless I'm classified as an accomplice! Then I'll be banished too! Probably to a place without a post office; you have to write to me, deal?"

"Itachi, calm down," Zetsu tried his best to get the weasel-demon to stop panicking, "We just need to get Aka well and then we can return her to Rokubi-sama." Itachi was a bit (a bit?) skeptical, but he looked at the sickly bird that had popped her head out of the basket.

"Have you given her any medication?" Zetsu shook his head,

"I tried to, but she wouldn't take it."

"**Then **_**make**_** her take it, you fucking wuss!"** Itachi jumped up in the air as Black Zetsu' voice echoed out from a bowl of water. **"I'm **_**not**_** being banished!"**

"As much as I hate to agree with the creepy face in the bowl of water," Itachi gulped, "He has a point. You can't just let yourself be walked over; you have to make her straighten up and fly right!" Zetsu blinked, turning to see that Aka had flopped over to the floor.

"I don't think she can fly at all." Itachi hadn't heard him, however, he had gone to the restroom and gotten the jar of pills, shouting,

"No excuses!" Itachi rushed over to where Aka was and pried her beak open with his claws before he tossed a handful of pills in and clamped her beak shut. "What's next?"

"Well…" Zetsu gulped, not wanting to incur Itachi's anger, "She keeps pulling her feathers off, the ones that haven't fallen off from all the coughing I mean." Itachi had an easy solution to that, which took the form of placing a paper cone around Aka's neck. The bird squawked and hissed as she tried to get the cone off, Zetsu sighing, "I don't think she likes that."

"**It's called tough-love bitch,"** Black Zetsu scoffed from the bowl of water, **"I ain't getting banished."**

"You want her to get better, right?" Itachi offered and, after another sigh Zetsu nodded. "What's next?" Zetsu hummed,

"She needs bed rest, but she won't stay still…"

* * *

><p>Zetsu bit his lip, wincing every time Aka squawked in agony and aggravation due to being locked up in a too small birdcage. "I'm so sorry Aka-chan, it's for your own good…" Meanwhile, Itachi had found the bowl of soup from earlier,<p>

"What's this? It smells delicious."

"Soup for Aka," Zetsu explained, "But she wouldn't eat it."

"Like hell she won't!" Itachi grabbed the bowl and stormed over to Aka's cage. However, the moment the door was opened, Aka rushed like a bat out of hell out of the cage _and_ out of the cottage.

"Aka, come back!" Zetsu shouted, Itachi following him as they went after the bird.

* * *

><p>They chased her around trees, carefully past Sanbi's guards who were asking everyone in town 'Have you seen this ugly-ass bird?', past the park, and finally to the fountain in the center of town where, coincidentally their friends were all sitting and talking (Tobi had a new recipe that he needed honest opinions on).<p>

"Excuse us!" Zetsu shouted as he gently moved Tobi out of his way, Itachi moving through the others.

"What the hell is going on with you two?" Hidan asked, "You're acting like your lives are in danger or something!"

"Sorry!" Itachi looked around in a panic, "But we have to find—"

"Rokubi-sama's pet bird!" One of Sanbi's guards shouted, pointing to the top of the statue that sat in the center of the fountain. All of Aka's feathers were gone except for one on her tail-end.

"Aka, get down! You'll get yourself hurt!" Zetsu cried. But Aka ignored him, especially when her last feather floated off. She then coughed and wheezed and croaked until she finally collapsed, falling towards the water. "I'll catch you!" Zetsu shouted, rushing over as fast as his legs could carry him, "Hold on."

But right before he reached the area of the fountain where Aka would fall, the bird's body exploded into a cloud of sparks and fog. Everyone gasped in horror, especially Zetsu: the plant-demon falling to the side of the fountain with tears in his eyes as gossamer fog floated down to his hands.

"What the hell is going on here?" Everyone turned and saw that the question came from Sanbi No Same, he and Rokubi walking onto the scene, "Have you guys found the ugly-ass bird yet?"

"Excuse me?" Rokubi frowned, Sanbi chuckling,

"I mean, my wifey's treasured pet?" Rokubi rolled his eyes before looking out at the scene: everyone was bowing their heads in respect, except for Zetsu: the plant-demon sobbing his eyes out.

"Itachi, what happened?" The weasel-demon gave a heavy sigh before looking up and explaining,

"Rokubi-sama… I'm afraid that there's been a _terrible_ accident."

"It's all my fault!" Zetsu sobbed, Itachi standing in front of him and speaking up,

"Pardon him, he's out of his mind with grief at the moment." But Zetsu shoved him away, walking up to Rokubi and stating,

"I was the one who took Aka. But I was only trying to help! I planned to heal her and bring her right back, I swear!" Rokubi was quiet as he walked over to the small cloud of still-crackling fog. "So, if you want to banish me and then put me in a dungeon in the place where you banish me to, I will humbly accept my punishment." Rokubi remained silent, kneeling down besides the small cloud. The area was quiet before, finally, Sanbi groaned,

"Gods damn it… Aka, wake up you over-dramatic pile of smoke and feathers!" As soon as he said that, the cloud of fog whisped up into the air, curled in on itself before, with a crack of thunder, a large, majestic bird of azures and golds flapped its wings and flew around the air: lightning following its every flap.

All the demons were astonished by the sight, but Zetsu panicked, "What is that thing? What happened to Aka?" Rokubi chuckled as the bird rested on his shoulder,

"This _is_ Aka. She's quite a sight, like I said, but nothing out of the ordinary for a thunderbird. Right Aka-chan?" Aka crowed, a happy sound akin to thunder.

"A… thunderbird?"

"Thunderbirds are majestic creatures that usually live and fly underneath the cover of clouds, creating thunderstorms for me. But every once in a while, they have to refresh themselves by exploding into fog and lightning and reforming themselves out of the remains.

"Melodramatic bird…" Sanbi rolled his eyes. But then Aka pecked at his hair in response to the insult, "Hey!"

"So…" Zetsu hummed in thought, "They're kind of like phoenixes?" Rokubi nodded, holding out his arm for Aka to roost on. Despite the wonderful scene of Rokubi being reunited with his pet, Zetsu had to ask, "So… Are you going to banish me? Or lock me in a dungeon? Or banish and lock me in a dungeon in the place you banish me to?"

"Of course not!" Rokubi shook his head, "That's a punishment I save for the big lummox over there."

"Ha ha _ha_… " Sanbi frowned, "You're _so_ funny! But seriously, we have to start heading back to Konoha." Rokubi smirked, glad that he had gotten under the shark's skin a little (heaven knew that he had been on the receiving end of such aggravations for long enough).

"I suppose you're right." He then turned to everyone and bowed, "Thank you all for having us. I hope we can do this again soon." Aka nuzzled his cheek, "But _you _might have to stay at home, young lady."

Aka squawked, eyes wide in shock.

* * *

><p><strong>OMAKE <strong>

_It was a day of relaxing calm, a light rain drizzling from the skies as Rokubi No Raijuu sat out on one of the castle's balconies. However, his small snack of tea and three layer cake was interrupted when Sanbi walked in with something hidden behind his back. _

"_Just what are you hiding?" Rokubi asked warily, knowing that Sanbi's surprises were more often tricky in nature. _

"_Surprise!" Sanbi announced, holding out his hands. Rokubi's eyes widened as they saw the cute ball of blue and yellow fluff looking up at him wide, questioning eyes: a cute coo emanating from its beak. _

"_Oh my…" Rokubi gently took the creature, asking, "What is it?" _

"_A thunderbird." Sanbi smirked, looking at the adorable sight, "I found her abandoned in a nest at sea and thought you might like her. Better than leaving her to starve, right?" Rokubi only smiled, allowing the baby thunderbird to nuzzle his cheek. _

"_She'll probably come to think of me as her mother, she's so young." Rokubi observed. "But still, thank you my love." The shark deity grabbed a chair and sat near Rokubi's seat on the balcony. _

"_What are you going to name her?" He asked, making himself a cup of tea. Rokubi had to think about that for a moment. But when the baby thunderbird fluttered from his hands and tried to peck at a strawberry on the cake, he gave a warm smile, _

"_Aka." _

* * *

><p><em>It had been a year since Sanbi had given Rokubi the baby thunderbird as a gift and, well, it was cute to see the weasel-deity coddle the little ball of fluff… But Sanbi was getting kind of neglected with all the attention (that was rightfully <em>his_ damn it) going towards the baby creature. Finally, he just decided to take the weasel by the tails. _

"_Rokubi…" He knocked on the weasel-deity's door, "Come on, you and I are going out for dinner." _

"_Um… No thank you…" Rokubi's voice whimpered from inside. Sanbi sighed: he never was good with being told no. _

_With a loud crack, the door broke into two pieces: allowing Sanbi to go inside. "Rokubi, come on! I have reservations at that restaurant you like and… and…" A few steps into the room, Sanbi had to stop. Blink. Then try to stifle a laugh. And then fail at stifling a laugh. _

_Because in the center of his room sat Rokubi, desperately trying to get an ever-molting Aka to nurse from a baby-bottle; the sickly bird refusing the formula. "What are you doing?" _

"_Shut up!" Rokubi snapped with tears in his eyes, laying Aka down and rubbing her belly: yelping as more feathers came off, "I don't know what to do! I just woke up and she was like this! She won't take any of the medicine I offer her and she won't drink the condensed milk that I ordered especially for colds!" _

"_Rokubi…" Sanbi smiled, a soft gesture, before he sat down next to his wife and his pet, "Look, she's going to be fine." _

"_How can you say that?" Rokubi shouted, waving an arm towards the coughing creature, "Look at her!" Sanbi only sighed again before he wrapped an arm around the weasel's waist. _

_Looks like he was going to have to teach Rokubi a little thing about baby thunderbirds and their molting habits…_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**And that is it for this week. This is Tyranno's girl signing off, thanks for reading! Please review!**

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	36. The CMM SlumberTime Adventure Part 1

**A/N: Here we are again peoples, hello to one and all. Like I said last time, this is a double update. But you'll notice that there are five new chapters. Huh, I wonder what _that's_ about. Anyway, let's read! **

**Let's give a shout-out to: elric0sis, Alexa Hiwatari, Zetsu's Rose, Waterbomb22, and FMJ26. **

**Oh, by the way, first batch of fanat is up on my deviantart (link in my profile), kaythankslet'sread. **

**Disclaimer... Already done to death. **

* * *

><p>Little Saso sat on the sofa inside of his father's workshop, a doll in his hand as he watched Sasori rush past with a roll of fabric, "Where did I put that-?" Then he rushed by with two buckets of gems, "Didn't I already-?" He picked up a box of yarn balls before groaning, "<em>How<em> am I going to get this done on time?" Saso offered,

"Are you sure I can't help, ano sa? I could –"

"No!" Sasori snapped as he rushed past.

"How about—"

"No thank you!"

"Maybe just a—"

"Just stand over there!" Sasori snapped, Saso frowning at him. "Where you'll be out of the way." Then Sasori went to one of the outfits he was working on, a purple ball gown, before he screamed, "Where are the ribbons?"

"I got it!" Saso's voice rang out from his workbench. Sasori looked over and gasped as he saw the young demon climbing on top of his sewing machine to get to the red ribbon on top of the shelf. However, he soon lost his balance and bumped into the shelf, causing the ribbon to bounce down and hit a mannequin, which slammed into a table full of yarn, which caused a fabric closet to pop open and drop all of its contents.

Everything was a flurry of color and chaos until Deidara finally rushed in from mixing a foundation and perfume order. His eyes went wide as he looked around, "What happened, un?" Sasori's left eye twitched out of the stress that was building up before Saso gulped and offered,

"I'll just stand over here… where I'll be out of the way, ano sa."

* * *

><p>"Shouldn't I at least help with the cleaning, ano sa?" Saso asked as his parents cleaned up the workshop. Deidara gave a nervous chuckle,<p>

"Sweetie, I think you've helped _quite _enough."

"I'm sorry…" Saso whispered, "I'm just trying to see what I can do to finally get a chakra-mark." He sighed, looking at his bare hands. Sasori picked up the last bits of silk and yarn before he shook his head,

"I know, but I need all the time in the world to fill this order without any… distractions. Now, back to work." But just as Sasori walked over to his sewing machine, the doorbell rang, "Oh, what now?"

Zetsu walked in carrying a basket, but he gulped and was about to walk back out, "I'm sorry, I thought your open sign meant you were open and…"

"Oh Zetsu, I'm sorry! Come in!" Sasori rushed over to his friend, Deidara calling over,

"He's been so wrapped up in work that he forgot he gave Opal Essence and Gold-dust to you for grooming, un." At the sound of their names, the opal-shaded scorpion and the shimmering canary escaped the basket and nuzzled up against Zetsu.

"I don't know _how_ you do it," Sasori looked at the two small animals, "I can't even mention the word 'grooming' without Opal snapping at me." Just then, the scorpion hissed in Sasori's direction. "You didn't… have **him** handle them, did you?"

"Oh _no_!" Zetsu shook his head, "I would never! I don't have any control when that happens. No, I'm just good with animals; it's my special gift, you know."

"Ooh!" Saso rushed over, asking, "Maybe tending to animals can be _my_ special gift too!" But when Opal's claws cut up his sleeve, he gulped, "Or not." And rushed off to hide behind his mother. After the three adults shared a laugh, Sasori sighed,

"I'm sorry that I can't invite you in, Zetsu, but I've bitten off more than I can chew with this order. Twenty dresses and suits due in Fang bridge by tomorrow morning!" He walked over to his workbench and pulled out a length of silk that shimmered as if it were carved from ruby. "This is the only component they told me has to be incorporated into _all_ the outfits. It took me a week to find ruby silkworms in the Yonko Forests, but it does have a special flare, does it not?"

"It's gorgeous," Zetsu commented, "But twenty by tonight?" Saso raised his doll's hand and offered,

"Maybe I can…" Sasori narrowed his eyes, "Sit over here quietly and watch, ano sa."

"We'll manage." Deidara sighed. Zetsu nodded before saying,

"Well, I should get out of your hair and – Oh!" Just as he got to the door, a familiar group of children rushed in.

"Hi Zetsu! Hi Sasori! Hi Deidara!" Sasori winced as they rushed in, whispering,

"Hello… children." They stopped when they got to Saso, the blonde child gasping,

"Mizuki, Hun, Kiro, Kire, Kira, Ongakuhana!"

"Are you ready for tonight?" Kire asked with a flip of his hair. Saso nodded,

"Chakra-mark planning session is settled!" Kira nodded,

"Tonight is the night we all stay up trying to find our special talents!" After she said that, she saw the ruby silk at the desk. Her eyes were wide and a smile of inspiration was all over her face as she walked over.

"Are you ready?" Hun glomped Mizuki, the otter-demon shoving him away,

"More so than you." Then all of the children cheered,

"Chakra-Mark Musketeer Sleepover at Sasori's! YAY!" After Sasori had to shield his ears from the loudness, Kira announced,

"And look what I made us!" The children all gasped in awe as they saw the ruby-red scarf engraved with gem designs of the chakra-marks of all their parents. Zetsu looked over and asked,

"Why all the different markings?"

"The Chakra-Mark Musketeers! YAY!" They all cheered before Kiro explained,

"We're journeying all for one and one for all so we can all get our chakra-marks."

"Yep!" Kira nodded before showing off the scarf a bit more, "I was so lucky to find this ruby silk! It does have a special flare, does it not?" Sasori's left eye twitched as he rushed over to his work bench and, sure enough, seven strips had been cut out of his silk supply and a bucket of gems was missing.

"Kira! How could you, un?" Deidara shouted, Sasori roaring,

"That was the _last_ of my ruby silk! Now I have to go back into the Yonko Forests and find more silkworms! If I can! IT'S GOING TO TAKE ME _ALL_ NIGHT!" He caught his breath before sighing, "Which means _no_ sleepover."

"What?" Saso cried, eyes brimming with tears.

"I won't have the time to watch over you guys and Deidara has to help me find the damn silkworms!"

"Aw…" The children whined, their plans ruined. That is, until Zetsu spoke up,

"I suppose… that I could take them for the evening." The group's eyes sparkled in excitement but Deidara shook his head,

"We _couldn't_ ask you to do that."

"It would be no trouble at all." Sasori scoffed,

"Have you _seen_ what happens when these children get together? _Trouble _is all you'll have!" Zetsu chuckled,

"With _these_ angels?" Seeing that the point was hardly arguable, Sasori just shook his head,

"Well, I have too much work to do to contest this any further. So I wash my hands of the matter and leave them to you Zetsu." The children then shouted,

"Chakra-Mark Musketeer Sleepover at Zetsu's cottage! YAY!", before rushing outside. Zetsu smiled,

"So cute…", before he rushed after them.

* * *

><p>Zetsu took the children to the store to buy some food and snacks for the night. They were busy rushing around, but Zetsu hummed to himself with a smile on his face, "Won't this be so much fun? We could bake cookies, or play a nice game of dress-up, sit quietly and color, tell each other fairy tales and – children?" The group rushed through the aisles, almost bumping into Itachi who was doing some dinner shopping. When he regained his bearings, Itachi looked over and saw Zetsu,<p>

"Good afternoon Zetsu."

"Hello Itachi, have dinner plans?" Itachi nodded,

"Alfred invited me over to Ivan's mansion, and I don't want to go empty handed. So I decided to bake them a small cake."

"But…" Zetsu gulped, "Don't you have to go into the Yonko Forests to get there?"

"Don't worry, I'll be fine." Itachi brushed off Zetsu's concern before saying, "What about you? I see you came in with the children." Zetsu nodded,

"Sasori is swamped with a huge order he has to fill, so I offered to take the children to my house for a sleepover." Itachi whistled,

"Wow, I do _not _envy you. You're going to have your hands full with that group."

"Those angels?" Zetsu shook his head, "It'll be no problem at all."

* * *

><p>The sun was sinking behind the hills by the time Zetsu and the children got to his cottage. He had barely closed the door before Ongakuhana was giving her friends an energetic tour of the house. "No… problem at all." He assured himself before asking, "Children, what should we do -?"<p>

"I'm going to get my mark tonight!" Ongakuhana whooped.

"Children?"

"Not like that you won't!" Kiro laughed.

"Um, children?"

"I'm going to stay up all night!" Hun barked before howling up into the air, scaring away some of the animals that inhabited Zetsu's cottage.

"Or…" Zetsu wiped away the few beads of sweat that had appeared from keeping up with the children, "We could play a nice, _quiet_ game of –"

"We should go explore the Yonko Forests!" Saso cheered. Immediately, Zetsu went to block the door as he shouted,

"No! The Yonko Forests are _far _too dangerous at night!" Ongakuhana pouted,

"But if _you_ went with us, then we would be fine." The children all agreed before shouting,

"Chakra-Mark Musketeers Creature Catchers! YAY!", before they went to play out their own scenarios of catching the strange animals of the dark forests.

"Wait, be careful that you don't…" _CRASH!_ "Break anything…" Everyone looked to see that the wooden coffee table had broken into a million splintering pieces.

"Sorry Daddy…" Ongakuhana sighed, Mizuki commenting,

"I'm guessing that we aren't creature catchers." Zetsu began to walk to the kitchen, to find a broom,

"It's alright, but maybe you should –"

"We could be Chakra-Mark Musketeers Carpenters!" Kiro offered, the children all cheering before Ongakuhana rushed outside and came back in with tools and saws. Zetsu could only watch in confusion as the children worked on his table until they came up with something that could only be described as abstract. Kira tilted her head, trying to look at their creation,

"That _doesn't_ look like a table…"

"We were making a table?" Hun asked, Mizuki tossing his hammer away,

"Someone needs to put this thing out of its misery. We are _not_ Chakra-Mark Carpenters…"

"Who would want a picture of a hammer on their hands anyway?" Kire huffed. Zetsu took the… _table_ and moved it to the side before stating,

"Now that _that's_ out of the way, who wants to play a game?"

"A game?" Kiro asked skeptically. Zetsu nodded, gesturing for them all to sit on and near the couch. Zetsu took a deep breath before explaining,

"It's called 'The Quiet Game'."

"Huh?" Mizuki raised an eyebrow as Zetsu added,

"It's to see who can stay quiet the longest. I'm the world champion you know." When the children looked at him like he was crazy, Zetsu smiled, "Ready? Go."

The room was quiet for all of three seconds before the children all announced,

"You win.", and went to go play around the house again. As they were running about, Kira asked,

"How about the Chakra-Mark Musketeer Dance Squad?"

"Yeah!"

"No!" Zetsu called out, the children immediately sighing. "I mean, it's time for all you little ones to go to bed."

* * *

><p>"How are we going to find our special talents in our sleep?" Mizuki asked Zetsu as the plant-demon walked around, making sure everyone was snug in their futons.<p>

"Maybe you'll have a nice little dream about it." Zetsu hummed as he turned off the lights.

"But we're not tired!" Saso insisted before Zetsu smiled,

"How about I sing you a lullaby?"

"Sure!" They all cheered and nodded before Zetsu began,

"_Hush now, quiet now, _

_It's time to lay your sleepy head… _

_Hush now, quiet now, _

_It's time to go to bed…"_ The song was having its effects on the children, especially Ongakuhana: whose orange eyes sparkled as she sat up and realized,

"I remember this song!" Zetsu chuckled,

"You should, I sang it to you every night when you were a seedling. Why don't you sing the rest?"

"Oh Jashin…" Kire gulped, the other children preparing for the worst as Ongakuhana stood up on her futon and cleared her throat. Then, the plant-demon girl belted out in a loud, soulful voice that could even rival Konan Pacon,

"_Hush now! Quiet now! _

_It's time to lay your sleepy head!"_ Zetsu tried to calm his daughter down, only for her to keep on,

"_I said, Hush now! Quiet now! _

_It's time to go to bed~!"_

"Okay my musical flower, that's enough –"

"_Go, go! Off to sleep! _

_Exciting day behind you! _

_Go, go! Off to sleep! _

_So the joys of day might find you~!"_ Zetsu winced seeing items falling from their shelves from the volume.

"Thank you, that's enough –"

"_Hush now! Quiet now! _

_Lay your sleepy head!_

_I said, hush now! Quiet now! _

_It's time to go~!"_ Ongakuhana took a deep breath before ending off on a powerful note,

"_To bed~! Oh yes~!"_

That note managed to scare all of the chickens in the backyard out of their coop.


	37. The CMM SlumberTime Adventure Part 2

**A/N: Games from Steam are _so_ addicting! I went to my friend's house on Sunday to hang out and I ended up playing Rusty Hearts for like three hours!**

* * *

><p>"What is <em>that<em>?" Kiro asked as a din of clucks and crows could be heard from the window. Zetsu had just finished putting the items back on their shelves when he noticed that the children had all gone.

"Children!" He shouted from the window, seeing them all outside. Hun barked out as he went to chase the birds,

"Zetsu! Your chickens are on the loose!"

"I wonder what caused it…" Ongakuhana asked before Kire announced,

"Come on, let's round them up!"

"Chakra-Mark Musketeer Chicken-Herders!" They all cheered before rushing into action. But Zetsu shook his head,

"Wait, please don't!" He rushed down to the scene, seeing all of the children rushing after the chickens. "Children, stop. Please?" After a few seconds, he shouted, "Children!" They all stopped at that. Then one of the chickens landed on his head, a smile growing on his face, "Come on." He gently escorted all the chickens back to their coop. "In you go." The chickens ignored him, "Go on and – Ah…" He kneeled over a bit, as if he had a stomachache before he stood back up: half of his body white and half black.

"**Get in the fucking coop you little feathered bastards! Or else I'm going to have fried chicken by the bucketful tomorrow morning!"** The chickens all squawked in fear before they rushed into the coop. Zetsu's body shifted back into white before he looked around and smiled,

"Such good chickens. Now," He turned towards the children, "Isn't it about time you went to bed?"

"But—"

"_Please?_"

The children all frowned and pouted as Zetsu tucked them in and with a calm 'goodnight' he closed the door to let them rest. As soon as the door was closed, Ongakuhana asked, "What type of journey should we go on next?"

"There isn't much to do in here…" Mizuki observed. Hun bounded over to the window, looking out before he stated,

"Look! One of the chickens got loose!" They looked at each other before Kira got their scarves.

"Chakra-Mark Musketeer Chicken Rescuers are go!" They all whispered.

* * *

><p>They gently snuck downstairs, careful to avoid Zetsu's gaze as he rested on the couch. "I kept telling the others that there would be nothing to worry about, nothing gets past Zetsu," He yawned, "Good with animals, good with kids…" When he dozed off, the children rushed out of the front door.<p>

They all rushed out of the front gate, Hun's scarf ripping off a piece on the fence before he rushed after his friends, shouting, "Wait up!", as they all ran into the dark Yonko Forests.

* * *

><p>"Mm…" Zetsu murmured in his sleep, "Peace and quiet…" A moment later, he shot up, whispering, "Too quiet." He rushed up the stairs and, sure enough, the children were all gone <em>again<em>! "Children?" He called out, taking a lantern outside as he searched his property for them.

"Children?" He called, looking into the coop. He gasped as he saw that one of the chickens was missing, "Elizabeak II? Oh no!" He looked to the ground and saw the footsteps that led out to the darkness, "They must have gone looking for her… In the Yonko Forests! Gods!" He leaned against the coop, groaning, "They've bitten off more than they can chew! Just like me, I _never_ should have offered to watch them!"

The plant-demon then stood and took a deep breath before rushing into the Yonko Forests, desperately hoping to find the children before anything could happen to them.

* * *

><p>"Here chickies-chickie-chickie!" Kire's voice could be heard in the Spring section of the forests as the group of children walked down a shadowy path. Kiro shook his head,<p>

"What are you doing?"

"Calling for the chicken, duh!"

"That's not the right way to call a chicken." Kiro scoffed, Kire huffing back,

"Like _you _know how?"

"Would you two come on?" Mizuki called back to the arguing siblings, "We're not going to find our chakra-marks _or_ the chicken by arguing." Then the two thought for a moment before Kire offered,

"Maybe one of your guys' special talents can be arguing!" Kiro groaned, performing a face-palm as Mizuki sighed,

"What would the chakra-mark of a demon whose special talent was arguing even _look_ like?"

The others all murmured that that was true and he had a point before they walked on, Hun talking to Mizuki, "You know, the way you handle things, you could wind up a politician or judge someday, Mizuki-kun!" The otter-demon hummed before he nodded,

"I would like that."

* * *

><p>"Children..?" Zetsu gently called out as he slowly walked down the pathway, "Oh, why couldn't you guys have gotten lost somewhere <em>nice<em>? Like an ice cream parlor or Tobi's bakery?" A vicious roar in the distance caused Zetsu to run, screaming until he saw a familiar silhouette in the distance.

"Itachi? Is that you?" When he got closer he gave a huge sigh of relief, "Oh thank the gods, it is! I need your help! The children are missing and I have no idea where else to look…" As he was talking, the moonlight broke through the clouds revealing that there was something… off about the weasel-demon. Zetsu gasped in horror as he saw that Itachi had been encased in stone. "Itachi..? Oh no! If you've been turned to stone, then… Children!"

The plant-demon rushed over and asked the trees, "Have you seen a group of small children walk by?" One of the trees leaned over to the right, Zetsu nodding, "Thank you." And rushing in that direction. "Please let them be close by…"

* * *

><p>"I have a whole new respect for Soba and Yakisoba now," Kira whispered as she walked behind Ongakuhana, reflecting on how her old siblings always had to watch the chickens. So far, there was no sight of their target. But they stopped walking when there was a call of,<p>

"Children?"

"Daddy?" Ongakuhana asked. Zetsu rushed over, gasping for breath,

"Thank goodness I found you! We have to leave… at once!"

"But we haven't found your chicken yet!" Hun insisted, Zetsu shaking his head,

"Forget it, there's no time! I have to get you out of here before the Cockatrice finds us!"

"The what?" Saso asked, Zetsu groaning,

"Ugh… What are they teaching you in school now of days? It's a terrible creature with the head of a rooster and the body of a snake, now come _on!_" But the children had squirmed away and were all laughing at the thought of such a silly creature.

"If I ever saw one of those," Kire smiled, "I'd laugh at its face!"

"NO!" Zetsu ran over, "In this world, there are three creatures whose eyes you should never meet: Medusas, basilisks, and cockatrices! You are to _never _look a cockatrice in the eye, do you hear me?" Suddenly, with a cluck, Elizabeak II scurried by, all the children giving chase. "Children!"

They all ran to a bush, the chicken pecking near it. "We've got you know!" Ongakuhana smiled.

There was a rumbling growl, followed by a hiss.

"Um…" Kira gulped, "What was that?" The bushed rustled before the abnormally large head of a rooster rose from the leaves, spines trailing down its back and fangs dripping orange saliva, before the rest of its body, that of a large, green snake, slithered out. Bloodshot eyes shot open as the creature let out a vicious roar and went after the chicken.

Elizabeak II fluttered about in a panic, but when the cockatrice slithered over and stared her down with its bloodshot eyes, the chicken immediately turned to stone. Hun shifted into his hell-dog form and was about to try and scare the monster away, but no sooner had he barked that the cockatrice hissed and glared at him; his body turning to stone as well.

"DADDY!" Ongakuhana screamed, running over to Zetsu. The other children followed suit until they tripped over what they thought was a rock. But upon closer inspection, they saw that it was the tail of Itachi, still trapped in stone. Zetsu rushed over, explaining,

"See why we have to—" He was interrupted when the small demons all began to scream and sob in horror. "What's going – No…" He looked behind them all and saw the cockatrice slithering its way over. This was no time for nonsense, Zetsu covered his eyes and shouted, "All of you! Get behind me this _instant!_" The children did as they were told, desperately covering their eyes and cowering behind the plant-demon.

And when he felt the rancid breath of the cockatrice on his face, Zetsu was sure that he was about to start hyperventilating in fear. But he couldn't let himself be overtaken by fear now, there were too many lives depending on him.

"Please…" He whispered, "Help me help them… Help me help them…" He winced, feeling as if he was in pain for a second before his body shifted half white, half black again. Then he yelled,

"**You! Where the fuck do you get off, you ugly-ass motherfucker?"** The cockatrice blinked in shock before intensifying his gaze. But Black Zetsu quickly stopped that with a firm bitch-slap to the face, **"Don't you try that shit on me! Trying to turn people into stone, I should make you into a pair of snakeskin stockings and turn your feathers into pillows!"** The cockatrice was starting to fall back, so Black Zetsu decided to finish it off, **"My **_**gods**_** you are ugly though. What were your parents **_**thinking**_** when they decided to get it on with each other? Now, I could stay here **_**all night**_** burying you into the ground like this, but **_**unless**_** you want to be turned into fertilizer, turn my friend, the dog, and the stupid chicken back to normal. **_**OR ELSE!**_**" **

The cockatrice gulped before slithering away and getting to work. Zetsu's body shifted back to normal before he asked, "Are you all okay?" They were all shocked, but when Zetsu spoke, they all whimpered,

"We'll be good." Zetsu smiled and, before he knew it, Itachi and Hun stumbled over, the weasel-demon groaning,

"What happened here?"

* * *

><p>The next morning found the children playing in the front yard of Zetsu's cottage while the plant-demon told Itachi all about what had happened the previous evening. "And so, I'm pretty sure that the cockatrice has moved on."<p>

"This will make quite the letter to Rokubi-sama." Itachi hummed as he summarized the events, "And you did an _excellent _job taking care of the kids."

"Yes, but…" Zetsu sighed, "I think I'll stick to Ongakuhana and my animal friends from now on."

"Hello over there, un!" The two demons looked over to see Sasori and Deidara walking over. Itachi waved them over, Zetsu asking,

"Did you finish your order?"

"We're _just_ coming back from delivering them!" He wrapped an arm around Zetsu's shoulder and sighed, "Thanks so much for taking them, I wasn't sure I would have been able to finish with all that stress."

"No problem at all," Zetsu smiled before holding up his teapot, "Would you like a cup?" Sasori sighed,

"No, I have to get back to the shop." He then walked over to the yard and called out, "Children, it's time for me to get you home. Children?" He frowned as he was ignored, shouting, "_Children!_"

"Allow me," Zetsu offered, "Children? It's time to go home, go get your things."

"Yes Zetsu!" The children all replied, going into the house to get their bags. Deidara was astonished,

"What do you have them on, un?" Zetsu shook his head,

"I told you that I'm just as good with children as I am with animals." The children were soon packed and ready to go. Deidara started walking them off, but Sasori stayed to ask,

"Speaking of animals, do you think that you could help me with Opal?"

"Oh of course!" Zetsu smiled, "Just bring her by later." Sasori shook his head and reached into his pocket, wincing as he felt a sharp pain enter his hand,

"I was thinking more like…" He pulled out Opal, the scorpion snapping her claws and glaring at her master, "Now?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Aw... Aren't children adorable? Thanks for reading! Please read the rest of this week's update and review!**

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	38. The Great Shark Tsunami Part 1

**A/N: Here is the update that I have been _dying_ to do. I mean, the episode that it's based on is my absolute favorite! You will notice, however, that this was divided into three chapters... It got so _long_... **

**Also, Kisame has a severe case of Atychiphobia... Let's see if you will figure out what that means by the end of this chapter. **

**Let's read...**

* * *

><p><em>Wide, dark eyes looked around from a small child's vantage point from on top of his father's shoulders. His father was a tall demon of broad stature, so he easily had a good view of the event that he and his parents came to see. <em>

_Hoshigaki Kisame, age 5, pointed out into the streets and exclaimed, "There they are!" In an underwater city such as this, parades and things were always a good source of entertainment. Especially if they were held in honor of Sanbi No Same. First a large group of mermaids tossed shells and pearls into the water around them, then a squad of dolphin riders performed a few tricks for the audience… _

_The parade went swimmingly along (no pun intended) before, finally, Kisame's mother stated, "Here comes Lord Sanbi!" Kisame was more than excited: he had only seen depictions of the shark deity in the forms of pictures and statues, and his family spoke so high of him that he must be amazing. _

_Then, standing on top of a large, coral-decorated float next to his wife weasel-deity Rokubi No Raijuu, Sanbi No Same stood waving and calling out to all of the city's citizens. _

_Kisame's eyes were keyed in on the powerful deity who controlled water with a simple thought in his mind. His wife was beautiful too, waving to the crowds and staying underwater with the help of an aquamarine ring that went perfectly with the scarf around his neck – _

_Abruptly, the scarf drifted away from Rokubi, the weasel trying to grab it but it had already floated out of his grasp. Kisame gasped, immediately swimming to where the scarf had floated to and swimming towards the float. _

"_Excuse me?" He asked, gulping as Sanbi looked over to him. He quickly bowed, apologizing, "I'm sorry to be messing up your pretty float by standing on it, and I'm probably ruining the parade, but Rokubi-sama dropped this and…" _

"_My scarf!" Rokubi waded over, gently receiving the scarf from the small shark-demon, "Thank you so much, little one." When Rokubi patted him on the head, Kisame couldn't help it: his face faded into purple from a severe blush. Then Sanbi spoke up, _

"_Hey, you want to sit up here for the rest of the parade? In fact," He silently gestured for two of his royal guards to go find his parents. _

_If Kisame had thought that Sanbi was a sight, seeing the two water-demons clad in royal blue armor swimming gracefully, beautifully, through the water was nothing short of incredible. _

* * *

><p><em>At the end of the day, when Kisame's parents prepared to take him home (such an exciting day he had today), Kisame had to ask, "Those demons! The ones in the really pretty armor? How did they get it?" Sanbi chuckled, patting the small shark-demon's head, <em>

"_That's the normal garb of anyone who is skilled enough to join my royal guard, kid." _

* * *

><p>That day was the day that Kisame vowed never to rest until he had enlisted into Lord Sanbi's Royal Guard.<p>

* * *

><p>It was a calm day. The blue sky hosting only a few, puffy white clouds above Adamant Falls. Let's look at the golden-sanded shores where Kisame and Zetsu were standing, the shark-demon speaking up, "..Now, what have we learned?"<p>

"Lots of control," Zetsu replied, Kisame nodding,

"Good."

"Screaming and hollering,"

"Yes," Kisame nodded, "And most importantly?"

"Passion."

"Right! So now that you know the elements of a good cheer," Kisame smiled, "Let's hear one!" Zetsu sighed before waving a flag with a chibi-Kisame head on it,

"Yay." Kisame groaned,

"What the hell? You're going to cheer me on like _that?_ Louder!"

"Yay." Zetsu tried again.

"Louder!"

"Yay."

"LOUDER!" Kisame shouted. Zetsu took a huge breath before whispering,

"Yay…" Kisame shook his head in obvious dismay, Zetsu asking, "Too loud?"

* * *

><p>So the cheering practice may have been an obvious failure, but Kisame still had to do some <em>real<em> practice. So he swam out into the ocean, surfboard on his back, thanking the gods that there were some waves out.

Over on the beach, Zetsu cheered, "Yay." Kisame shook off the feeble cheer before using his own chakra to move the waves underneath him, jumping onto his surfboard and using his own power to manipulate the waters around him.

"And now," He whispered to himself, "Phase One of the routine." He rode the board over to a row of rock spires, weaving through each of them without so much as a scratch.

"Ooh…" Zetsu blinked at the sight. Kisame rode out of the area before announcing,

"Phase Two." He jumped off the board and into the air, plunging into the water in shark-form before he swam around in three circles. His speed and power created three impressive whirlpools before he breached the water and landed back on his surfboard, rushing out of the area. The spins made Zetsu a bit dizzy, but he managed to call out,

"Way to go." Kisame rode the surfboard out to where the waters were calmer, almost still before he stated,

"Here we go. Phase Three: The Great Shark Tsunami!" He waited until his chakra was back in balance before using as much of it as he could to get a wave forming. He rode the swell of water before forcing some more of his chakra into it, making it grow.

He managed to make it the size of a political office building before something went wrong. The water's natural magic was fighting against his own chakra, the water-magic slicing at his skin. "Shit!" The second he blinked, the wave began to crumble apart. "No, wait!" And before it was completely gone, it spat Kisame out of the water: sending him flying through the air.

"Kisame," Zetsu called out, chasing his friend, "Is this part of the routine?"

* * *

><p>A book gently floated into an empty slot on a high shelf in the Adamant Falls library, Itachi turning around and thanking his friends, "Thank you all <em>so<em> much for helping. Rokubi-sama recommended these books to me and once I started reading, I couldn't stop!" Just as Hidan was going to say something, everyone turned at the sound of someone shouting,

"Fuck my life, fuck my life, FUCK MY LIFE!", before Kisame crashed in through the window: causing all of the books to fall from their shelves all over again.

Everyone groaned as they dug themselves out of the heavy tomes. Zetsu let himself in through the front door, calling over, "Kisame, you rock. Whoo-hoo." Kisame shook his head, helping Itachi to his feet before taking a bottle of pills out of his pants pocket. He took a couple before apologizing,

"Sorry about the mess." Then he turned to Zetsu, "That was a truly feeble performance." Zetsu shook his head,

"I liked it! Especially the part with the whirlpools."

"I'm talking about _you!_" Kisame growled, "That cheering of yours makes _jeering_ look good!" Ivan helped Alfred out of the clutter of books before he walked over and asked,

"Comrade, tell me what is being the matter? Why the arguing?" Zetsu gulped, helping Tobi up,

"Were we arguing? I'm sorry."

"Ugh…" Kisame groaned before turning towards everyone else, "I wish _you_ guys could come to Adamant Sea City to cheer me on in Lord Sanbi's Aquatic-Arts Contest!" Itachi had to ask,

"What's that?"

"Ooh!" Tobi cheered, jumping up, "It's where the best water-demons in the _world_ come to compete and show off their skills! Some are fast!" To prove his point, Tobi rushed around the room once, twice, before he stopped, "Some are graceful!" He tried to plié, but he ended falling on his ass-e. Kisame shook his head before looking towards Kakuzu,

"You're a stitch-demon, why don't _you_ come along?" The stitch-demon immediately turned the suggestion down,

"I have my reasons."

"I really do wish we could come and see you." Sasori smiled, Kisame agreeing,

"I would love for you all to come. Zetsu's heart is in the right place, but that's about it." Zetsu frowned before Tobi jumped right back up and smiled,

"Tobi would _love_ to see you do The Great Shark Tsunami! It's the best thing ever! Not that Tobi's actually seen it, but _come on!_ It's The Great Shark Tsunami, for Yonbi's sake!"

"Tobi, calm down." Itachi held his cousin to the floor before asking, "Can _someone_ tell me what The Great Shark Tsunami is?" Deidara leaned over and whispered to Itachi,

"You need to get out more, un.", before Tobi jumped up and began,

"A legendary feat of power and skill! When a water-demon like Kisame goes fast enough and can mold his chakra with the magic of the ocean around him – BAM! – A tidal wave that's so high, so wide, that it blocks out the sky!" Kakuzu nodded and took over the explanation from there,

"Named after the first creature to ever perform the task, Sanbi No Same, it was thought that only _he_ could do it. But Kisame here," He wrapped an arm around his friend's shoulder, "Has done it too."

"Come on…" Kisame shook his head, "I was just a kid back then." Tobi was practically bouncing on his heels as he asked,

"But you're going to do it again, right?"

"Yeah," Itachi nodded, "If you pull _that_ off, you'll win for sure!" When all the eyes in the room were on him, Kisame coughed before giving a nervous chuckle,

"Are you kidding? With all _my_ training, I can do that technique in my sleep! But anyway, the grand prize this year is a whole day with Lord Sanbi and his royal guard!" He sighed a wistful sigh, "A whole day with my idols… If one of them mentions enlisting, it will be a dream come true!" Zetsu cheered,

"Yay."

"Don't you start with me!" Kisame snapped at the plant-demon before he calmed himself down and said, "I have to go rest and pack up for the trip. I'll see you guys later." And with that, he walked out of the door. When Kisame was gone, Zetsu sighed,

"He's been practicing that technique for the past _six months_, and he _still_ hasn't gotten any better at it. Wish us luck guys…" He left the library before Itachi nodded to himself,

"Well, back to cleaning! _Again!_" Just as he picked up a pile of books, Deidara nudged him on the shoulder,

"Um, hello~! Go on, un!"

"Deidara, what are you going on about?" Itachi frowned back, the bird-demon explaining,

"Find a spell that will get us into Adamant Sea City, un! Oh," He sighed dramatically, "Did you _see_ how nervous he was?"

"Nervous?" Kakuzu laughed, "Kisame?" Deidara could only scoff,

"You all _obviously_ don't know stage-fright when you see it, un! We have to find a way to be there for him. Now, _go on!"_ He booty-bumped Itachi forward into a pile of books, the weasel-demon groaning,

"Where the hell would I even start? Finding an underwater-breathing spell in _this_ mess?" Tobi blinked before he announced,

"One second!" He rushed off, rushing back with a book that he deftly threw into Itachi's face.

"Fucking… Tobi!" Itachi shouted before he read the bookmark entry in the book, "Here we go, a spell that allows a demon of the earth to journey underwater for three days." As Itachi read, Hidan asked,

"How the hell..?"

"It landed on Tobi's face when Kisame crashed into the library!" Then Itachi shut the book before saying,

"This spell is _extremely _complex. I'm not sure if I—"

"Itachi~!" Deidara frowned, "Do this for your man, un!" Itachi blushed before he sputtered back,

"He's not my – Fine! Who wants to be the test-subject then?" The room was quiet until Deidara crowed,

"I will! Because Kisame's too much of a sweetheart to go through this alone, un!" At Itachi's signal, everyone cleared away from the section of the room Deidara was in.

"Here we go." The weasel-demon slowly performed the hand-signs for the spell, streams of light and mist whisping in from the open windows to surround the bird-demon. Itachi gritted his teeth, the force of maintaining the spell getting to him before a crackle of light forced him away from his work, the room filling with light.

When the bright light cleared, everyone looked at the result with awe: especially in Sasori's open-mouthed case. Itachi gave an exhausted chuckle, Sasuke and Naruto helping him up, "I think it worked."

* * *

><p>"<em>Now docking Bubble 822 from Adamant Falls…"<em> That was what an intercom system in a large underwater building called out as a large, opaque bubble floated in. A puffer-fish demon swam over before covering himself in spikes, popping the bubble: a large group of people filing towards baggage claim.

"All I'm saying," Kisame told Zetsu as the two demons, along with Mizuki, walked over to retrieve their bags, "Is that you need to be more aggressive. Don't be afraid to let people know what you want." They soon got their belongings and checked out of the Bubbleport before going to see what restaurants were open around the building: it had been a _long_ trip.

They found a place that served cube-shakes (a milkshake that was served in a cube that had been carved out of ice) and take-out. They were about to go in when Kisame looked over and groaned, "Are you shitting me?"

There at the counter were a trio of catfish-demons (two female, one male) who were _painfully_ familiar to Kisame. When the male looked over, he smirked, "Well if it isn't our dear cousin Kisame… The failure of the clan."

"What's the matter," One of the girls said, her sister adding,

"Flunk out of anymore schools lately?" Kisame tried to ignore them, asking Mizuki,

"What do you want to eat?"

"Little boy," One of the catfish-demons called over, "I would go back to treading water before Kisame's failure rubs off on you!" Her sister cackled,

"Ask him about _The Great Shark Tsunami_!"

"That's nothing but an old sea-shanty," Their brother scoffed, "Besides, he doesn't have the _skill_ to pull something like that off!" Zetsu had had enough,

"Wait just a minute!" When the trio looked over to the plant-demon he gulped, "I'm sorry, just trying to be more assertive. Anyway, don't you _dare _talk to him like that! He _will_ perform The Great Shark Tsunami!"

"Hardly." One of the sisters huffed, the other adding,

"There's no such thing!"

"Then come to the coliseum tomorrow evening!" Zetsu offered, the trio huffing as they left: promising to be there. When they were gone, Zetsu smiled and asked Kisame, "Did you _see_ that? I was _so_ aggressive!" Kisame only sighed, paying for Mizuki's food before they walked out of the restaurant. "What's the matter?" Zetsu asked, noticing the shark's demeanor, "Is what those cat fish demons said getting to you?" Kisame didn't answer _verbally_, but he did reach into his pocket: pulling out an empty pill bottle. Zetsu's yellow eyes went wide, "But you just got that subscription refilled before we left town!"

"And I _need_ to get it refilled down here." Kisame shook his head. Zetsu only sighed before walking over and saying,

"But Kisame, just because you've failed at The Great Shark Tsunami over 100,000 times in practice doesn't mean that you won't be able to do it in front of an _entire stadium…_"

Kisame gulped.

"Full of thousands of _impatient…_"

Beads of sweat started forming on the shark's forehead.

"_Super-critical_ water-demons judging your every movement down to the way you breathe water and—"

"Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!" Kisame roared, shoving Zetsu away as he panicked to himself at a five-hundred nautical-miles a second, "What do I do? Everyone's going to see me fall flat on my ass in failure, _again_! Then Lord Sanbi will _never_ let me enlist in his Royal Guard! Hell, he'll probably banish me to some deserted island in the Mortus Spires!" The bluenette fell to his knees, slamming his fist to the ground, "My life is _ruined!_"

"Would you calm him down?" Mizuki frowned towards Zetsu. The plant-demon was about to wade over when he looked across the way, his mouth gaping in shock as he muttered,

"Dei…"

"Yes Zetsu," Kisame shook his head, standing up, "They will all laugh at me and chase me out of town with torches and pitchforks!" Zetsu shook his head and tried to speak again,

"Deidara..?"

"Now you're cheering for people who aren't even _here_?" Kisame asked in disbelief. But when Zetsu pointed behind him and he turned to look at what had the plant-demon so blown away, his mouth dropped in astonish as well.

Wearing a form-fitting gown that seemed to be weaved from the bluest ocean-waters and the most beautiful sea-plants, with sapphire highlights whisping through his hair, and a shining trail of shimmering scales rolling down one cheek, Deidara swam over with all the grace of an angel-fish, Kisame calling over, "DEIDARA? Are… Are you… _swimming_?" The blonde demon giggled, swimming a loop-de-loop,

"I most certainly _am,_ un! Don't I simply look _divine,_ un? Itachi made them for me and I have never felt more _amazing~!_" Deidara actually sung that part, the water-chakra flowing through him improving his voice a hundred-fold. Kisame and Zetsu silently blinked at the blonde before he asked, "Why so shocked? We couldn't leave our favorite, big, strong sharkie without a _huge_ cheering section! Oh and _just _take a look at _these_, un!" Deidara bounced on his heels before turning around once. The motion caused a pair of crystal-wings embedded with gold and gems of the sea appear. "I don't even have to swim the normal way, these make things _so_ much easier!" Kisame gulped, nodding absentmindedly,

"You're like a harpy **( 1 )**… Wait a minute," Kisame shook his head, "_We?_"

"_Now docking Bubble 833 from Adamant Falls…"_ The intercom system chimed before a new bubble floated into the Bubbleport. They followed Deidara back into the Bubbleport and seeing the bubble close up. Zetsu gasped as he recognized the silhouettes, Kisame shivered before forcing a smile,

"I _don't_ believe it." Zetsu agreed, smiling,

"It's incredible! I can't believe they let you guys buy tickets!"

"They sure did!" Tobi's muffled voice laughed out just as the puffer-fish demons were about to burst the bubble. Kisame gasped before shouting,

"Wait!", thinking the worst. But when the loud 'POP' filled the room, everyone inside seemed fine. "Huh? How are all of you..?"

"Ivan and I had some spare Aquamarines." Sasori explained. Itachi walked over to Kisame and added,

"I found a spell that makes earth-demons able to move underwater. But it used too much chakra to keep up, so I remembered what you said about Aquamarines and here we are!" He then quietly asked, "I hope it's okay."

"I'm not!" That was Hidan, the cat-demon desperately trying to get his bearings underwater. Everyone laughed as Kakuzu pulled him down, Kisame laughing,

"Oh, no! In fact, this is great!" He shivered as he felt the water near him get thirty degrees cooler, looking over to see Ivan.

"We have come to cheer you on, my friend. Also I – Dorogoy, get over here!" He had to cut his statement short when he saw Alfred swimming after the puffers, asking,

"Hey, how do you do that?" Kisame gulped again, Itachi noticing his anxious features. The weasel-demon asked,

"Are you okay?"

"Fine!" Kisame laughed, "In fact, this is great! Let me just…" He took a few careful steps away before snapping his fingers, "Let me call my parents to see if we have enough rooms for everyone!"

* * *

><p>While the others were at baggage claim, Kisame had taken advantage of a nearby pay-phone, "Hai. … Hai, thanks mother. … Yes you'll get to meet my friends. …" Kisame blushed before sighing, "<em>Especially<em> Itachi. … Okay. Tell Dad I said hi. I hope to see you both soon, love you." The shark-demon hung-up the pay-phone, heaving a huge sigh. "Come on Kisame, you can… play this game on a slightly bigger scale for a little while." He turned around and walked back to the group, "So, great news! There's more than enough space for everyone, we just have to worry about getting there!"

"And how…" Hidan was trying to master swimming, only flopping about in the water, "Do you suppose we do that? Jashin-damn it, Zetsu! How are you used to this shit?" Zetsu gave a soft smile,

"Plants are at home all over the world, so I'm completely fine down here as well. But you know," He looked to Kisame and Kakuzu, "You two should show us around, since you know the area best. I mean, if you don't mind…" Kakuzu wanted to disagree, but Kisame jumped on the idea (desperately wanting to drive the focus away from his oncoming failure),

"Yeah! The Contest isn't until tomorrow, so we can go take the city by storm! In fact," He stopped in favor of giving a sharp whistle. A few seconds later, a long, tube-shaped length of ceramic that had been molded and shaped like a barracuda rushed to the side of the street, "Barracuda-bus is the best way."

"Let's go!" Tobi swam in, the others following suit before the doors slid closed and the vehicle rushed down the street. The bus drove for a good moment until Kisame announced,

"Welcome to the greatest city under the sea: Adamant Sea City!" Everyone rushed to the windows, gasping in awe and wonder as they took in the large wave-scraper buildings, busy streets, bright lights, and overall metropolitan feel.

"Ooh…" Kisame blinked, looking over to see Deidara checking himself out in the mirror, "Ah…" The bus made a stop, a trio of weather-watchers walking in. But when they saw Deidara, they nearly tripped over themselves.

"You're beautiful…" The leader of their squad gaped, the other two nodding dumbly. Deidara smiled, giggling at the compliment,

"Why _thank you_!" He swam over to the others, Itachi warning,

"Be careful with your new fins Deidara, they're made of crystal, pearl, and trace amounts of other gems so they're _extremely_ delicate."

"Don't worry, Itachi," The blonde smiled, running fingers through his shimmering blonde and blue hair, "I'm sure that they can't get worn out from too much attention, un."

* * *

><p>The bus drove on, past the political offices of Adamant Sea City where a few female politicians wanted to ask Deidara for beauty tips on his <em>stunning<em> scales, before Alfred gasped and spoke up,

"Hey, hey!"

"Hay is for horses, solnyshko." Ivan waved a finger, Alfred smacking it away before he went on,

"I want to see where you work! The weather-factory!"

"Great idea!" Kisame laughed, "We should get there in about thirty minutes and then me and Ivan can give you the tour!" Itachi was confused,

"Do you work there too?"

"No," Kisame shook his head, "My parents are co-owners of the place though." The rest of the group was silent, wondering how Kisame just said that like he was talking about the current of the water.

* * *

><p>Barrels of black water, yellow stones that crackled with electricity, buckets of rainbow-colored liquid, and heavy blocks of ice were all being driven into a massive building near the center of the city. This was the Adamant Sea City Weather Factory, where Kisame had helped Ivan find a wonderful job when the Baba Yaga had first moved to Adamant Falls. The group of demons had to change into white clothing (the uniform-standard of the factory) when they arrived, but soon they were inside.<p>

The first thing they noticed was the large carved statue in the lobby. It was of a shark-demon that looked almost exactly like Kisame who was carrying a young mermaid on his shoulder. But before anyone could ask about that piece of art, they all distracted by the painting on the ceiling that depicted Sanbi No Same controlling the weather of the sea.

"We must be quiet," Ivan whispered, breaking everyone out of their gazing, "We are about to enter my sector of work." They all walked into a room that was quiet and still, a complete contrast to the outside. It was also stark white, the only color being the gray of the tables where demons were concentrating on their work.

A large buzzer rang, a conveyor-belt carrying small ice cubes to the workers activated: each demon grabbing one before moving to the gray tables and carving them into intricate designs and shapes, each on different. "This is where snowflakes are made." Ivan whispered proudly, "Each painstakingly carved by hand and is required to be unique." Naruto looked around, giggling as he saw one with a fox's face in it moving down the 'completed work' belt.

"What do you do with the remains?" The Kitsune asked, "And the ones that are similar?"

"Ah, my favorite part!" Ivan laughed, pointing to where two very handsome creatures were crushing the remains of the cubes and rejected snowflakes with giant hammers. "We crush them into powder for snow-banks and frosting trees, da?" The cream-haired Baba Yaga waved over to the two, whispering, "Berwald! Matthias! **( 2 )**" The two blondes waved back before going back to work.

While everyone was looking at the snowflakes and ice, Deidara swam up to where some particularly stunning specimens where hanging from the ceiling, "Ooh, the snowflakes look simply _stunning_ from up here, un!" However, he had forgotten to fold his wings: the appendages shifting the water and causing everyone's hard work to start flying around.

All the workers immediately grabbed buckets, desperately trying to catch any of the precious parcels before they hit the ground. Ivan shook his head, his dark aura surging up, "We should be going before Deidara ruins Winter and causes a drought." He winced when a snowflake crashed against the ground.

* * *

><p>"And <em>here<em>…" Kisame stated, opening a new door, "Is where they make the rainbows!" Water-demons (jelly-fish demons and octopus-demons) and mermaids swam about, mixing the thick rainbow colored substance from before into pools of purified water: creating glowing, sparkling rainbow-colored water.

"Oh wow!" Tobi rushed over to one of the pools, eyes wide, "Tobi would _love _to bake a cake out of this stuff!" He dipped a finger into the glowing water and stuck it into his mouth. Immediately, his face turned all various shades between red and violet before he panted, "_Spicy!_ WATER!", and rushed off. Everyone laughed, Kisame shaking his head,

"I don't know _why_ people think rainbows are sweet…"

The group continued to walk around the rainbow-pools, Kisame explaining the difference between miracle rainbows, double-rainbows, faint-rainbows, ring-rainbows, and lunar rainbows. "So you've been around weather all your life, haven't you?" Itachi asked, picking up his pace to catch up with Kisame. The shark chuckled,

"Yeah. My parents have quiet the tie to this place, so I had to learn about its inner-workings."

"Attention love-birds!" They were quickly interrupted from their conversation as Sasuke called over, "I am officially getting swamped by fan-girls, can we _please_ move along?" Itachi had to hide a laugh as he saw his younger brother surrounded by love-struck mermaids, but it grew into a frown when he heard cat-calls of:

"Hey, baby-_baby_!"

"Get over here and taste some of _this_ rainbow!"

"Let me buy you a drink, delicious!"

All being directed towards Deidara, the blonde strolling down the pathway between the rainbow pools with a growing mass of admirers following his every move. He smirked as he turned around, blushing, "Come now, you're all just _too much_, un! Now, keep on telling me about how gorgeous I am…" Then, who should have showed up, but one of Kisame's catty cousins. He took Deidara's hand and offered,

"I would be _more_ than happy to compliment you over a nice dinner. How _did_ you get those marvelous scales? And those _wings_!"

"Excuse me!" Sasori rushed over (not liking this guy's tone at all) the best he could before stating, "He is _happily _engaged!"

"Deidara!" Kisame asked, "What are you doing talking to _him_ of all demons?" Deidara pouted before flipping his hair,

"They were just admiring my outstanding beauty, un!"

"But I can see what kind of _company_ you keep, my dear." The cat-fish demon huffed before digging into his pocket and handing Deidara a slip of paper, "My card. And I will see _you_," He sneered towards Kisame, "Tomorrow evening for your latest failure. Farewell…" After he swam off, Zetsu gulped as he saw Kisame's whole frame seem to deflate from that one encounter. And when Kisame began to reach towards his pocket, the plant-demon began to push his friend along, asking,

"Kisame? Why don't you show us where the clouds are made?" Kisame nodded and looked towards the ground, his voice hollow,

"Huh? Clouds? Sure…"

* * *

><p><strong>( 1 ) Harpies are basically a combination of bird and sea-demons (look up Greek mythology or watch an episode of the original Yu-Gi-Oh! That has the character Mai Valentine dueling. <strong>

**( 2 ) I love Sweden and Denmark… Not as much as Russia, but still… **


	39. The Great Shark Tsunami Part 2

"Is Kisame…" Itachi whispered to Hidan, "Alright?"

"I don't know…" The cat-demon shook his head as they watched the shark-demon slump against the door to the cloud room. Inside, demons were pouring purified rainwater into strange machines that, when activated, churned out large, fluffy white clouds.

There were separate machines that took in the black water from earlier and made thunder clouds, demons ready to tame the wild clouds as they came out. Hidan frowned as he saw Kisame take a seat, the shark-demon rubbing his eyes and muttering to himself, "He doesn't look too hot." There was then an upsurge in talking and conversation as all the workers stopped what they were doing and flocked over to Deidara, the blonde gushing,

"What, _these_ old things?", showing off his wings and scales, "Go ahead everyone! Pictures _are_ encouraged!" The other demons in the group were beginning to notice that Deidara's love of his new appearance and his new celebrity was getting a bit too much. Alfred even leaned over and asked Ivan and Itachi,

"I thought we were here to make _Kisame_ feel better?" Itachi didn't know what to say but another glance at Kisame's stressed out form had him walking over to Deidara and whispering,

"Deidara! I brought us down here to help Kisame _relax_ and you're just tensing him up! Put your wings and scales away and stop goofing around!" Deidara huffed at the weasel-demon (thinking that he was just jealous) before he swam up to the open sky-light window up above and sighed,

"How can _anyone_ ask me to put away _perfection_, un?" When he was up there, the sun shined down from above the waves at a certain angle: hitting his scales and wings just the right way and causing a splendid, striking arrangement of colored lights to rain down on those below. Everyone gasped in awe at the beautiful sight and when Deidara saw what he had done, he simply laughed in delirious joy, "Gods, I'm more beautiful than I _imagined_!"

"Oh gods…" Kisame shook his head, "What _don't_ they do?"

"Kisame?" Itachi walked over, "You don't look so good." The bluenette let out a shaky laugh,

"Of _course_! I'm just _great_! Deidara's beauty has everyone so enamored that no one will see me FAIL –Gods! –" His whole body spasmed at that word: fail, "At Lord Sanbi's Aquatic-Arts Contest!"

"Kisame…" Itachi shook his head, "Calm down, you're scaring me." But one of the workers called out to Deidara,

"There's an idea! _You_ should enter that contest!"

"Yeah…" Deidara's fans swooned, "We could watch you swim _all day long…_" Deidara hummed before smirking,

"There really isn't any other water-demon like _me _around. Perhaps I _should _compete, un?"

"WHAT?" Kisame shouted as Deidara flew away, his fans following him. "That's it!" Kisame laughed, falling to his knees on the floor, "I'm done! There's no way I can… Gods!"

"Hey, come on…" Hidan kneeled down besides the over-stressed shark-demon, "Get up from the floor and let's get you out of here, okay?" Kisame didn't budge, but he did murmur,

"I _need_… to get to a pharmacy."

"Why?" Hidan blinked, "Did you hurt yourself?" Zetsu shook his head before speaking out calmly,

"Kisame, there really isn't any need for –" Kisame wasn't hearing it,

"Just shut the fuck up and get me to a pharmacy, damn it! _PLEASE!_" Zetsu frowned before stomping over and demanding,

"Fine then, give me your damn pharmacy card!" Kisame handed it over all too easily, Zetsu sighing before he told the group, "Can you guys help him get to the bus stop? Ivan, help me find the factory-pharmacy?"

* * *

><p>Everyone was waiting for Ivan and Zetsu to come out of the factory, Kisame sitting on the shell-encrusted sidewalk: his body still shivering from the beginning signs of an anxiety attack. "Dude, you keep shaking like that and you'll cause a tidal wave!" Alfred chuckled, trying to get the shark out of his funk.<p>

But Kisame stayed quiet and remained that way until Itachi knelt down beside him, whispering, "Kisame… Do you want to go home? It's fine, I think we can get a Bubbleport ticket if we call in right now and –" Just as Kisame seemed to want to agree to the idea, Zetsu and Ivan came back: the plant-demon holding a white paper bag.

"Oh thank the gods for you Zetsu…" Kisame rushed over, grabbing for the bag. But then Ivan spoke up,

"Comrade, you need to rest. So… I made a call…" Kisame's face fell instantly,

"Oh Ivan. No…" Then, to Kisame's horror, a long, sleek black and blue carriage driven by four large, pastel-blue seahorses.

"Hey…" Hidan moved closer to one of the stunning animals, "Who's fancy ride is this? Who's a good…" He looked underneath the seahorse before guessing, "Girl?" One of the seahorses in front neighed out,

"Young Hoshigaki-sama?" Kisame sighed before straightening up and replying,

"Did my mother send you?"

"Yes," The head seahorse nodded, "After your friend called and said you weren't feeling well, Mizuko-sama had us rush to the factory to retrieve you." Kisame glared at Ivan for a second for making his mother worry, but soon he gave up and told everyone,

"Let's go, at least we won't have to wait for the bus.", before helping Mizuki into the carriage.

* * *

><p>Now, no one likes to read stories where time keeps passing by in chunks and pieces, I know… But thirty minutes later after driving in the admittedly comfortable seahorse carriage, Hidan yawned, "Are we there yet?" Kisame looked out of the window and nodded before stating,<p>

"We've actually been here for about ten minutes."

"WHAT?" Everyone tried to look out the window, those who were able to see gasping in awe; Itachi asking,

"Kisame, how big _is_ your family?" The shark-demon blinked, taking a pill from the new bottle that Zetsu had given him, humming,

"It's only my mother, father, and me. We occasionally have visitors, but that's it." The reason why everyone was so shocked was that if one thought Kisame's estate was huge, you should have seen his parent's manor. Thirty-six acres of ocean-plants and frolicking sea creatures surrounded the large compound that was built in a more traditional style than Kisame's but the size difference was more than obvious.

The impressive gates opened up, allowing the carriage in, everyone taking in all the sights: Sasuke's heart practically melted as he saw Naruto giggle upon being kissed by a dolphin, Alfred was busy making faces at the manatees, and Deidara smiled as a few fish wanted to sneak into the carriage to look at his scales.

Finally, the carriage stopped at the front doors of the mansion, everyone filing out and grabbing their bags before Kisame walked forward, his head hung in… shame? Embarrassment? Everyone slowly followed him inside and the doors swung open inwards, a group of mermaids and mermen dressed in black and white (the traditional garb of maids and butlers) standing in straight lines before they bowed,

"Welcome home young master."

"Again," Sasori whispered, "_How _rich are you?" To say that everyone was dumbfounded at the large manor was an understatement. But they didn't have long to look around before a gentle voice called over,

"Are they here?" After that, a new figure dressed in a simple blue dress swam over. She was a mermaid, her long, beautiful, blue hair the exact shade as Kisame's, her skin shining pearl-pale, and her tail (which shifted into legs as she stood in front of the group of demons) glittered like the deepest blue sapphire. "Oh, welcome to our humble abode! Thank you so much for coming!" As she bowed, the collective thought that went through everyone's mind was:

'Sister.'

'Cousin.'

'Aunt. Very, very, very _young_ aunt.'

But then Kisame walked over and hugged the mermaid (after having to bend down to one knee to effectively do so), stating, "It's good to see you again Mother."

'MOTHER?' Every screamed mentally. The mermaid smiled before gasping,

"Forgive my rudeness…" She bowed again, "I'm Hoshigaki Mizuko, Kisame's mother. A pleasure to meet all of you at long last after Kisame has told me so much about you over the phone!" While everyone else let their shock settle in (Ivan covering Alfred's mouth so he didn't say anything stupid), Kisame asked,

"Where's Dad?"

"Oh playing Kiriball with the neighbors out back," Mizuko replied before picking up Mizuki and nuzzling against his cheek, "Mizuki-kun… Grandma's _so_ happy to see you again! Do you want some of your special habanero-tangerine sorbet?" Mizuki silently nodded, happily taking in the mermaid's coddling. She walked around the group, guessing each of them by appearances, "You must be Kakuzu? And your wife Hidan?" Both farm-workers nodded, Mizuko smiling, "Yes, I thought so! Kisame speaks so kindly of his stitch-demon friend and you Hidan, have such a motherly glow!"

"Mother, you're embarrassing me…" Kisame whispered, but Mizuki went on.

"Ivan, so good to see you!" She greeted the Baba Yaga fondly before looking to Alfred, "And this must be your little Trickster wifey here!"

"I'm not his –" Alfred was cut off when Ivan forced him into a suffocating bear-hug, chuckling,

"Yes, that is right. You are looking as radiant as always Ms. Mizuko." Mizuki went through small introductions to everyone (from admiring the workmanship in Sasori's outfit, gushing over Naruto's tails, and gasping wide-eyed at Deidara's appearance) before she finally walked over to our favorite weasel-demon and asked,

"Uchiha Itachi?"

"Yes Hoshigaki-donno," Itachi bowed, "Thank you for having us." When the brunette looked up, he gulped as he saw Mizuko just… looking at him. "Um…" He was cut off when the mermaid swept him up in a hug and gushed,

"How _cute_! Oh Kisame, she's simply a _dear_!"

"Um, mother…" Kisame gave a nervous smile, "Itachi's a guy."

"Nani?" She blinked, "Oh, did I make that mistake again? Oh, my apologies, but you're _so _pretty!"

"Thank you?" Itachi frowned, not really sure what to say. Mizuko had seemed to stop introductions for the moment, choosing to tickle and poke at Mizuki until a rough, deep voice called over,

"Hey, am I missing a party or what?"

"Nokoru!" Mizuko swam over, switching to feet as the new demon pressed a button on the wall. Now words only go so far when describing someone… And here they weren't really needed at all since the figure looked like a white-haired Kisame.

'Cousin.'

'Brother.'

'Uncle.'

"Hi Dad." Kisame called over to Nokoru, the three water demons completely oblivious of the room's other inhabitants and their classic anime-fall.

"Kisame!" Nokoru laughed, gipping his son into a choke-hold. He gave a slight glance towards Itachi before smirking, "You sly dog!"

"No, no!" Kisame shoved him away, "Nothing's happened! Quit assuming things!" Nokoru laughed again, the two shark-demons and the mermaid ignoring the stares from the other demons in the room.

"There is something _so_ awkward here…" Sasuke whispered, Itachi immediately shushing the dragon. Before anything else could be said, Mizuko called for a few of their servants to take all the luggage and bags to rooms that she had made sure would be made up before Kisame's friends arrived.

"Watch where you're going!" Kisame flinched as soon as the shrill voice carried through the air. And, yes, there they were: Kisame's oh-so lovable cousins that I feel like giving a firm boot to the head to each of them. "Hm?"

"Oh look who it is!" The brother smirked, "Our failurific cousin, and yes I'm aware that that's not a word, Kisame!" He looked at the group and saw Itachi and Deidara before asking, "And what's this?" He moved over and took both the weasel and bird-demon's hands, smiling, "Enchanté…" Both Kisame and Sasori were about to rush over to knock some sense into the catfish, Nokoru holding them back,

"Easy there…"

"Um…" Mizuko cleared her throat, the air in the room becoming far too tense for her liking, "We should go dancing! The most lovely nightclub is open tonight and I'm sure it would be good for all of us to get out of the house!"

"Fine." Kisame's cousins all scoffed in unison before rushing upstairs to get dressed. Mizuko sighed, Nokoru gritting out,

"They could have afforded a hotel, _why_ are they _here_?"

"They're my sister's children Nokoru…"

"And your sister, hell, _both_ of them, are kind of bitches." Nokoru shook his head, walking up the stairs to get changed.

"Stop calling them that~!" Mizuko fumed before turning back towards her son and their guests, smiling, "Don't mind that, just him and me having a bit of a tiff! You should all go get dressed, we have to go paint the town blue tonight!" And with that, carried Mizuki to his guest room; making sure the maids would be able to take care of him tonight. When the room was calm again, Kakuzu cleared his throat and asked,

"Did anyone pack any clubbing attire?"

* * *

><p>Luckily Sasori was there to help out with what little they had (even though Mizuko had rushed back down with a wardrobe of dancing clothes), and they were soon watching Nokoru give the carriage to the valet as the rest walked right to the front of the long line of demons waiting to get into the club.<p>

"But… what about the line?" Naruto asked, Mizuko laughing,

"Oh, don't worry your adorable blonde head! It's fine! Now let's see…" As soon as the mermaid got closer to the door, the bouncer grumbled,

"160 for the lot of ya."

"Why is it so expensive?" Kakuzu shouted, averting his eyes when Mizuko got out the asked for price. The bouncer smiled,

"Lord Sanbi is dancing tonight."

"Huh?" Kisame, Mizuko, Nokoru, and Kakuzu shouted, eyes wide, before Mizuko paid the demon and called out,

"Let's go, let's go!", pushing everyone inside.

* * *

><p>What does one expect of a nightclub? Large dance floors, drinks being bought and sold like wildfire, people trying to talk up a good game to get that sexy someone into bed, dark ambience, bright, flashing lights, and pounding music.<p>

Now, take all of that and crank it up by about five times and you will have a good idea as to what awaited the group as they walked into the happening night-spot…

**(A/N: **

**Kisame - * shaking his head * Did you just say 'happening'? **

**TG – Shut up. Do you want me to bring up the 'funky-fresh' incident from 'The Seme Uke Games'? **

**Kisame - … I'll be good.) **

"Oh look, there are enough seats by that table over there!" Mizuko noticed. Everyone went to claim the miraculously empty table and seats before a mermaid in a skimpy outfit swam over and asked,

"Welcome to _Azure Pearl_, how can I start you off tonight?"

"A round of Blue Volcanoes please!" Mizuko ordered for everyone, reassuring Itachi, "You'll love it, I swear!" Nokoru snickered before leaning to whisper in his son's ear,

"Your mother's trying to get your girlfriend drunk."

"He's not my –" A blushing Kisame was about to protest his parent's image of Itachi when Ivan asked,

"I have never been in an underwater club," He drank from his drink as the mermaid brought them over. He winced at the sweetness, discretely adding some vodka into it from his secret stash in his pocket (adding some into Alfred's drink as well), before he continued, "How are they different from the ones on land?" Kakuzu decided to explain,

"Water demons are _real_ in tune with rhythm and music; that's why this place doesn't drain out like other buildings. For the best effect, club-owners keep their clubs filled with water like this so the music will travel." Everyone was pleased with the stitch-demon's explanation, but Hidan frowned,

"You know a lot about the nightclub business."

"I have my reasons…" Kakuzu downed the rest of his drink, ordering something more manly. Itachi looked around, he already knew that some of them wouldn't be dancing tonight, but he noticed something strange.

"No one's dancing." Indeed, everyone was in their seats (despite some of them looking more than ready to move). Kisame looked around, trying to find a certain something…

Or someone.

He smiled when he found them, pointing towards the center stage that was slightly elevated from the rest of the area.

"Lord Sanbi always dances alone first." Mizuko gasped, her eyes going wide in a star-struck state, causing everyone to look towards where shark deity Sanbi No Same was taking the first dance of the night.

Whereas Juubi had fashion and Rokubi had literature, Sanbi was a sheer phenomenon when it came to music. The deity was dressed in tight black pants, a blue vest, and had glow-in-the-dark bands all along his arms. He snapped his fingers, the lights dimming before the music started.

It was a dance-song with a catchy rhythm and nonsense lyrics **( 1 )**. But the way that Sanbi _moved_ to every beat and sound…

It was enough to cause a few female water-demons to faint into puddles of over-heated want.

Itachi wasn't even a water-demon, but he could understand the spell that Sanbi had everyone under as he moved in perfect breath with the song. The brash deity almost seemed graceful; his power not just standing out like a hulking mass in the room.

When the song ended, Sanbi whistled: a new song starting up and all the demons who had been waiting rushing to the dance floor.

"Go on!" Mizuko gave Kisame a playful shove, "I know you love dancing, go!"

"But…" Kisame looked to his friends who were all giving him the go ahead. And when Itachi encouraged him to go on, he nodded and rushed onto the floor: a sweet young carp-demoness asking to dance with him.

"Um… If it's okay…" Zetsu asked, Tobi giggling,

"Tobi wants to see you dance Zetsu-san!" Zetsu smiled before asking Kakuzu,

"Are you going to-?"

"No." The stitch-demon replied, not even looking up from his drink. Zetsu sighed and went to go catch up to Kisame.

Soon enough, the club was filled with activity. And, surprisingly enough, at first the dancing wasn't a sensual grind fest; it was just a wave of demons allowing themselves to become one with the music, Lord Sanbi at the center of it all.

Two more songs had passed, our favorite group of demons content with just watching when Deidara gritted, "I can't take it anymore, un!", and before anyone could stop him, he had gotten into the mix of everything and started dancing: the spell allowing him to move as well as any water-demon.

Alfred wanted to ask, "Why aren't you two dancing?" He was, of course, referring to Kisame's parents. Mizuko blushed, saying,

"Oh, I'm far too old for something like that!"

"We just wanted to come and let the kids have their fun." Nokoru added. Itachi was going to order another drink. He looked around for the mermaid who had been serving them when his eyes landed on a familiar figure leaning against the wall with a drink in his hand.

"Rokubi-sama?"

"Itachi?" The weasel-deity blinked before swimming over and smiling, "Well, it _is_ my faithful student! How are you and your friends?"

"Fine!" Itachi replied, "I'm fine, they're fine! Mizuko-donno, Nokoru-san, may I introduce you to—"

"Rokubi-sama!" Mizuko smiled, "It's been ages!"

"Yes, that parade was quite a few years back." The weasel-deity nodded, shaking Nokoru's hand, "Where is your son anyway?" A loud, collective sound of joy from the dance-floor gave Rokubi his answer. "I see. Um, may I have a seat?" Itachi didn't even think twice before kicking Tobi out of his seat and offering,

"Of course, here!"

"Thank you." The brunette hummed as he sat down, "I suppose you're all here for the competition tomorrow?" Itachi nodded,

"Yes, but I never expected to see you here."

"Well," Rokubi ordered a new drink, "As much of a big oaf as my husband is, even _I_ have to admit he dances like an angel." While Rokubi was talking, the song switched over to a song off of Konan Pacon's second album… A song that Kakuzu had taken to heart.

"I think… That I'll go dance now after all…", the stitch-demon stated as he walked onto the dance-floor.

* * *

><p>A few minutes later found those at the table (especially Hidan) looking awestruck at the sight of Kisame, Zetsu, Deidara, and Kakuzu dancing to the fast-paced sounds accompanied by Konan Pacon's voice,<p>

"_I've become so numb! _

_I can feel you there! _

_I've become so tough, _

_So much more aware! _

_I'm becoming this,_

_All I want to do, _

_Is be more like me _

_And be less like YOU!"_ **( 2 )**

In becoming one with music, each demon had a different dance style, but it was still amazing to see water-demons so entranced in the moment like that and, if you were Hidan or Sasori (and Itachi would begrudgingly admit), it was kind of…

Erotic.

* * *

><p>After a few more cycles, the song ended: some demons going straight towards the bar for refreshments after their energetic dancing. Sanbi himself had to have a glass of water brought to him before the next song began.<p>

It happened to be a song that Nokoru and Mizuko recognized all too well. "We have to go!" They both exclaimed as they rushed to the dance floor to fall under the spell of the song about curious creatures and the wrath of the gods.

If it had been amazing to watch the dance floor before, Nokoru and Mizuko added a decadent, refined flavor to the mass of dancing and twirling bodies. They were perfectly in sync.

* * *

><p>Things had been fine, things had been good: food was served and conversation ran like warm honey…<p>

Until the songs switched into sensory, more animal fields. The next song that played seemed like it was better suited to be the theme of two lusty demon-sisters about to go into battle **( 3 )**. Sasori rushed to press a napkin to his nose when he saw Deidara move in between two demons who had been eyeing him all night: making bedroom eyes at them as they bumped and ground to the beat.

Nokoru and Mizuko danced like they were back in high school: at some angles, it almost seemed like they were having dry-sex on the dance-floor.

Kisame and his petite dance-partner were giving Kakuzu a good run for his money as they all moved to the lusty tones and lines.

* * *

><p>"Gods, dancing gets you hungry!" Kisame panted as he scarfed down a tray of sashimi and washed it down with a cup of sake, "Are you guys alright over here?"<p>

Alright seemed to include Sasori having to switch the napkins that were in front of his nose every few seconds, Hidan trying to hide his blush of arousal with a blush of drunkenness, and Itachi desperately trying to hide any revealing body language.

"As fine as they can be." Sasuke and Naruto agreed. Kisame hummed and looked to his parents,

"I think we're going to call it a night after one more song."

"That seems like a good idea." Rokubi yawned before waving over to Sanbi. The white-haired deity nodded before signaling to the DJ for one last song. The DJ flipped a couple of switches before a calm, soothing song floated out of the speaker system. Kisame flinched, Mizuko smiling,

"That's right, this is your favorite song…"

Kisame walked onto the dance floor, oblivious to everyone getting off of it as he closed his eyes. When the second part of the lyrics came up, only he and Sanbi were dancing in the room: somehow fitting since the song was one Sanbi had written himself

"_This place is nowhere after all… _

_This place is nowhere after all…"_ All of a sudden, the music's tempo went from calm to wild as Sanbi's voice sang,

"_As I seep into the blackest void of all _

_I'm nothing, _

_I'm no one…_

_As I sleep, _

_I hear them creeping down the hall…_

_They're nothing, _

_They're all gone…"_ The music calmed down again, both shark's dancing in almost unison as the elder's voice sang from the speakers,

"_But it's okay to be afraid… _

_When you're staring face to face,_

_With time they can't waste…"_ **( 4 )**

For that moment, as they danced to that one song, it seemed as if everything was…

Perfect.

The one time Kisame did open his eyes and see who he was dancing with, he was almost over-whelmed. But Sanbi shook his head and mouthed out 'Keep up with me'. And Kisame nodded before proceeding to do just that.

* * *

><p><strong>( 1 ) Gigi D'Agostino's 'Bla Bla Bla'… I have <strong>_**no**_** idea what is being said in this song, but it's not any language I've ever heard. But damn if it isn't a catchy song! **

**( 2 ) Yes, this is 'Numb' by Linkin Park. But this is the Jan Wayne vs. Raindropz - Nightcore version. **

**( 3 ) Who here has watched 'Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt'? Well, the description in this fanfic was a hint to the title of the song which is the theme of the demon sisters Scanty and Kneesocks. It's such an awesome song that does not by **_**any**_** means get used enough in the series. **

**( 4 ) The Queenstons 'Our Special Place'… Oh my God, this song..! Just listen to it when you have the resources and the time and tell me you cannot see Kisame and Sanbi dancing to it.**


	40. The Great Shark Tsunami Part 3

"You know, despite not being able to dance because of all the water…" A buzzed Alfred hummed, snuggling into Ivan's side, "I had fun." That was the common sentiment among all the demons who were in the carriage, more than ready to get to be after a long night.

Kisame, who had danced the most, felt _so_ much more at ease after tonight. "I might actually have a chance tomorrow…" He told himself as the carriage drove into the courtyard of his parent's manor. He had been the first to get out, but what awaited him was one of his cousins (the male) waiting up for him outside, just to sneer,

"Good luck tomorrow. Oh, who am I kidding?" He fixed his robed and went inside, "You couldn't win tomorrow with all the luck in the world."

Kisame's optimism immediately sank.

* * *

><p>Adamant Sea City usually didn't get much light, what with being so far underneath the sea and all, that was why the city's buildings had so many lights.<p>

But even in the dark, Kisame lay in bed with his eyes trained in on the pill bottle that Zetsu had gotten for him.

"For help with anxiety and panic-attacks," He read the label out loud to himself, "Take two with each meal and one at hour-long intervals if needed." The shark sighed before opening the bottle and shook out a handful before downing them with a nearby drink.

Wait a minute, he had alcohol at the club didn't he? "Oh, who cares?" He groaned, falling back into bed. "Maybe if I sleep through tomorrow it won't be too bad…"

It was almost sad, he thought as he tried to sleep, someone like him so easily overtaken by anxiety. But it wasn't normal things like tragedy and huge events, it was only things that required him going above and beyond that caused him to freeze up.

It probably started when he was in grade school. Oh, he was so determined to make his parents proud of him especially since his father had instilled the words 'Hoshigakis don't lose.' Into his mind from a young age.

Kisame had been an honor roll student: A's, a few B's… Until the day when he had been enrolled in his Aunt's class. Even as a child, he could tell that the old cat-fish demon didn't like him. But he could never have known that she would have gone as far as failing him in _every_, _single_ subject that he attempted without even looking at his work or effort!

The damage had been so severe that Kisame's parents had to transfer him to a different school, all the while Mizuko trying to reassure her devastated son it wasn't his fault.

But some of it _had_ to have been. People just don't punish children when they succeed… Right?

"Gods help me…" He sighed, covering his eyes with his hands.

* * *

><p>The next day, rather evening, demons of all kind were filing into the above water coliseum. It was a majestic stadium had been build brick by brick, carve by carve, by Sanbi No Same and Juubi No Iruka (during one of the few times they weren't at each other's throats) and it was a national treasure well-loved by all.<p>

Deep in the inner-workings of the stadium, in the dressing rooms, all of the competitors for the Aquatic-Arts Contest were excitedly talking and prepping for their individual turns at impressing the deity of the seas.

But Kisame was pacing back and forth throughout the room, as nervous as a criminal awaiting his turn at the guillotine.

One dolphin-demoness walked over to a closed dressing room and knocked on the door, Deidara popping his head out and smiling, "I'm going to be a while, un!", before blowing the debris from his freshly manicured nails into her face before shutting the door.

Kisame rushed over to the curtains, taking a peek into the massive audience. He saw Mizuki sitting in Itachi's lap (an adorable, _oh-so right_ image), his other friends holding up a large flag with his face on it, his parents talking to the camera-crew to make sure they paid extra attention when Kisame went up (his two best friends from his childhood couldn't make it, so Mizuko wanted to make sure that they could watch him)…

He also saw his cousins with their own personal cameras, waiting to catch his failure. He gritted his teeth, popping a pill into his mouth before the announcer of the event announced, "Ladies and gentlemen! Please join me in welcoming our honorable Lord Sanbi No Same and his wife Rokubi No Raijuu!" There was a heavy splash of water as a large, three tailed shark with a sharp, white horn protruding from his forehead jumped into the center of the coliseum before letting out a massive roar: the waves crashing all around them as the moon came into view in the evening sky. After that, Sanbi shifted into normal-form just as there was a crack of thunder and lightning, Rokubi landing as his six-tailed weasel self before he shifted back to normal. Both of them waved to audience, hand in hand, as they walked to their seats.

"And," The announcer added after the two deities sat down, "Please welcome our celebrity judges for this Aquatic-Arts Contest, Lord Sanbi's Royal Guard!" Everyone looked out towards the waters as a squad of water-demons dressed in that gorgeous blue armor skated across the water, some in dolphin and shark form in the water beneath them.

Suddenly, up from nowhere, two pretty twin coral demons (one male, one female) shot through the water: causing multicolored splashes everywhere through the coliseum. Everyone cheered at the spectacle, Kisame gasping as he watched them swim to their judging booth near Sanbi. "Now let's see who will win the title of this year's best swimmer!"

* * *

><p>Back in the dressing room, the event-coordinator walked in calling out, "Okay, I need contestant number one out now, now, now!" Kisame watched the girl walk by before looking at the number pin on his shirt, yelping when he saw it was 'two'. "Alright, now contestant two needs to get over here!" Kisame discretely moved amongst the others before he saw a young time-lord with a pin that had 5 on it. He switched the pins before whispering, "She's talking to you."<p>

"Oh, thank you!" The quirky creature smiled before calling out, "Allonz-y!" **( 1 )**, and rushing outside.

For the next few hours, Kisame kept switching his pin with demons who had later numbers. And also, anytime Deidara's number came up, the bird-demon would peek out of his dressing room (in some stage of preparation) and say,

"I need a few more minutes~! Be a dear and have someone else go, un?" After a while, the event-coordinator growled,

"Look, I don't care _who_ goes out there, but I need someone to go _NOW!_" That got the majority of them rushing, Kisame switching his pin with someone who had one marked 15. He just needed a bit more mental-preparing time, maybe take a few more anti-anxiety pills…

"Wait…" He gulped, shaking the bottle just to find, "I'm out? But..! I just got this bottle!" The sound of happy humming from Deidara's dressing room made him gulp and sit down, holding his head in his hands as he awaited the terrifying inevitable.

* * *

><p>In the audience, the group had enjoyed seeing the competition thus far. "I liked number 7!" Naruto cheered, "Doing 15 underwater barrel-rolls in a row, whoo!"<p>

"Yeah, but that sea-lion with the fish-hunting…" Hidan shook his head with a whistle, "That was something!" Zetsu nodded,

"My favorite was number 11. She just seemed like such a nice kelpie-girl."

"Hm…" Nokoru hummed, "Why hasn't Kisame showed up yet?"

"Just what I was thinking…" Kakuzu muttered. Ivan looked at his watch, sighing,

"The competition is almost over and neither he or the show-off – I mean – Deidara, have shown."

* * *

><p>Retching filled the air of the empty dressing room, emanating from behind a bathroom door where Kisame was currently puking his guts out from nervousness. The bluenette wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, flushing the toilet before he walked out, just to meet the event-coordinator, "Number 15, let's go!"<p>

At the same time, Deidara finally opened his dressing room door and stated, "Deidara… Is ready!" The bird-demon was clad in an extravagant outfit of blues, yellows, and pinks that tried to match the shade of his wings and the layers of make-up he put on his face. But the event-coordinator shook her head and explained,

"I don't know what to tell you guys, there's only time for one more performance! If you want to go, you'll have to go together!" Deidara smiled at the thought, reaching his hand towards the shark-demon,

"Well Kisame? Shall we?"

"Uh… Ah…" Kisame gulped, over-stressed mind trying to get his mouth to form words as Deidara dragged him out.

* * *

><p>"And now," The announcer shouted, "Our final competitor Hoshigaki Kisame… And contestant number 4?"<p>

"Deidara~!" Deidara corrected as he swam out with Kisame, the shark-demon quaking even as he was handed a surfboard. The group cheered, Itachi frowning a bit as he noticed Kisame's frazzled state,

"Come on, you can do this…" Mizuki jumped off of Itachi's lap, padding forward to get a better look at his father.

"Good luck Kisame…" Deidara smiled as he did a round of jazz-hands and spirit-fingers to get out all his jitters, "Just try your best…" Kisame's breathing was ragged, his forehead sweaty… And he hadn't even started yet! "Oh! I hope you don't mind but I switched out that boring orchestra music with something pop-infused by Konan Pacon. It matches my image _much_ better." As the music started, Deidara started swimming and dancing through the water; making sure to show off his wings and scales.

"Come on Kisame!" Kisame smacked his cheeks to snap himself back into the current scene, "You can do this! You _have_ to! Your friends are watching…" He looked into the audience, "Your family is watching… Your son is watching…" When his eyes landed on Itachi, he gulped, "Itachi's… watching… Hoshigakis don't lose… Hoshigakis don't fail…" With that, he waited for a wave to move by before he used its momentum to surf past the obstacle course of rock spires.

Everyone cheered and whooped at the shark-demon's skill but, abruptly, Kisame lost control of his board and crashed into one of the spires: falling into the water. When he surfaced, he saw one of his cousins smiling, "We _have_ to remember to make copies of this for the family!" Kisame narrowed his eyes before looking over and seeing Deidara using his wings and fins to make a bubble-version of himself.

"Okay, phase two…" The bluenette nodded as he jumped up and dived into the water in shark-form. He surged forward and began to create the three whirlpools, just like in practice. It was going effortlessly before one of the whirlpools got out of control and turned into a water-spout that would have crashed into Rokubi if it weren't for Sanbi being there to counteract it. "I'm so sorry!" Kisame called over, anticipating if being banished would be so bad compared to what Sanbi could have done.

Deidara just finished an elegant triple spin before he thought to himself, _'And now for my grand finale! I'll swim up to that spire way out there,'_ He smiled at an old, fragile spire in the middle of a section of choppy waves, _'And breach myself on top allowing the waves to splash me and the sun to light me up and cause a sparkling sensation! Oh! I'll be the talk of Adamant Sea City for years to come, un!'_ With that, he began to swim out of the coliseum. Kisame looked over and saw Deidara swimming off before looking around and telling himself,

"This is the last chance to turn it around… Okay, phase three: The Great… Shark…" He gulped, "Tsunami…" He grabbed his surfboard and swam out of the coliseum in the opposite direction that Deidara had gone. Everyone gasped as they saw both demons swimming out, both pushing themselves farther and farther.

But Deidara got to the fragile spire and stood on top of it, spreading his wings and fins and positioning himself so that his scales were in the perfect angle to catch the light. Then, exhausted, he shouted,

"May Amaterasu and Tsukuyomi look upon me and weep! For I am DEIDARA!" The sun beamed down, causing him to sparkle and shine upon the audience. Everyone ooh-ed and awed at the sight the blonde bird-demon presented and it _was_ an amazing thing…

For all of a few minutes before karma decided to give a mighty swing of her bitch-stick. A powerful waved came over and swamped Deidara with such force that it shattered his wings and fins and ripped the shining scales from his body. "Oh no." He gulped before another wave came and broke the spire, sending a screaming bird-demon into the treacherous waters.

"No!" Itachi shouted, "The force of the water tore apart the spell!" Everyone could only watch as Deidara desperately tried to stay above water, his body too soaked for him to try and shift to fly out of there. And worse, the ragged waves seemed to be forcing him towards a section of water that had whirlpools edged with razor-sharp stones.

"HELP ME!" He choked, "Gods, HELP ME!"

"Don't just stand there!" Sanbi yelled to his Royal Guard, "Move, move, move!" The armor-clad demons nodded before jumping into the water and rushing over. But when they got close, Deidara was in such a panic that he:

Kicked two of them away,

Slapped another,

And punched the rest in _very_ uncomfortable areas; rendering all of them unable to help the blonde, let alone themselves, as they were carried ever faster to their deaths.

"Someone _do_ something!" Sasori shouted. He would have gone in, but insect-demons didn't stand a chance in the water.

The screams caught Kisame off-guard and when he looked back, he saw the Royal Guard and "Deidara?" being swept through the waves. "Hold on!" He shouted over before using his chakra to force himself towards the group. But, like usual, the water rejected his chakra and spat him out of the water. "Come on, now isn't the time for this!" He gritted out, trying again to just get the same result. Kisame couldn't _believe_ this! It was bad enough that he was a failure in his own right, but he couldn't even save his friend? This wasn't happening, this wasn't happening, this wasn't -

* * *

><p>"<em>Calm down…" Kisame blinked his eyes, finding himself in a dark room. He was confused at first, but then he recognized the voice, <em>

"_Lord Sanbi?" Behind him, the shark-deity nodded, _

"_You aren't going to get anywhere with your current attitude. We try, we fail, and we try again. That's just the way that this world works." He nodded, "Now, what are you trying to do?" _

"_I…" Kisame cleared his throat, "I need to save my friend. And your Royal Guards…" _

"_And what would be the best way to do so?", Sanbi asked. _

"_I don't know!" Kisame shouted, "I can't move fast enough to catch them before they hit the rocks!" Sanbi hummed, _

"_The Great Shark Tsunami would help." _

"_But I can't DO The Great Shark Tsunami!" Kisame was practically sobbing now, "I've tried thousands of times and I haven't come _close_!" Sanbi wasn't hearing it, _

"_You did it once before?" _

"_And I would kill to remember _how_..!" Kisame choked, falling to his knees. Sanbi shook his head before beginning, _

"_Well, first of all, don't think about it." _

"_What?" _

"_Think about only the goal ahead of you and only how you need to reach that goal. Then rush for it. But you can't force things into happening." Sanbi explained, "When you tried to do The Great Shark Tsunami before, you kept trying to _force_ the oceans to meld their magic and chakra with your own." He actually chuckled, "You can't change nature's will: you have to conform to it and ask it to help you. What do you do in the water-watch?" Kisame picked his head up, _

"_Work with the weather and water to keep the environment stable." _

"_And how do water-demons dance?"_

"_By becoming one with the music and letting it take _us_ to where it wants us to be. Allow our bodies to become instruments to rhythm and sound." Kisame replied as he stood back to his feet._

"_So…" Sanbi asked, his form vanishing, "How does one perform… The Great Shark Tsunami?"_

* * *

><p>Kisame slowly opened his eyes. He calmly took in the scene around him before he took a deep breath and swung his surfboard underneath him. Then, a wave formed behind him: carrying him towards the coliseum. The event-coordinators were about to call the paramedics and Rokubi pleaded with his husband, "Go save them, <em>please<em>!" But Sanbi only sat and waited.

Kisame gave a calm exhale, the wave growing to the size of a tall building: a blue energy beginning to surround the shark-demon as the wave went faster. Then, the wave just seemed to incrementally grow in size, everyone looking on; suspense in the air…

It was when the wave had grown to the size of one of the largest sky-scrapers in Adamant Sea City that the thoughts of:

'Will he do it?' From Kakuzu,

'Come on…' From Nokoru,

'Oh Mother Amaterasu, please…', from Sasori

Came up. Then, suddenly, Kisame clenched his teeth and opened eyes he hadn't even realized he had closed again. But instead of them being their normal black, they were an electric blue: The same electric blue as the pure energy and magic that overtook the water and created a massive tidal wave that reached up to the night sky, blocking out the moon.

"IT'S THE GREAT SHARK TSUNAMI!" Zetsu shouted, jumping up and down in his seat, "YES! FUCK, YES!"

"It isn't possible…" The three cat-fish triplets gaped in awe. Everyone else shared in the open-mouth expression, Itachi rubbing his eyes to make sure he wasn't seeing things.

"Holy-fucking-shit, aniki," Sasuke gasped, "_Are you seeing what I'm seeing?"_ Itachi couldn't respond: he only watched on as the wave took up enough water that even the waves that were carrying Deidara and the Royal Guard were swept up in it. But Kisame made sure that, when the water carried them up to him, he picked them up into safe arms.

* * *

><p>Kisame had to loop the tsunami around a few times until it lost its size. But then when it wasn't so intense, Kisame let out a roar almost akin to Sanbi's before the wave dispersed: most of it going back to the ocean, but some leaving a staircase of water that led back to the center of the coliseum where a few paramedics were at the ready to get the rescuees away from Kisame, whose body still crackled with residual energy. But the second it faded, the bluenette collapsed into the water.<p>

"Kisame!" Mizuko screamed, rushing over to cradle her baby's head in her lap, "It's okay, mother's here: It's okay…"

"Mrm…" Kisame groaned, his whole body feeling sore, "Mother? Are Deidara and the others alright?" Mizuko smiled and let the audience's cheers answer the question. "Wait," Kisame gasped, "Does that mean I-?"

"You sure did, un!" Deidara whispered, his body in too much shock as the paramedics moved his floating bed closer to Kisame. The bird-demon burst into tears, "Thank you Kisame! You saved my _life!"_

* * *

><p>A few moments later after the group had moved down to the coliseum center, Sasori rushing to take Deidara into his arms. But the blonde still found it proper to apologize, "I need to apologize to <em>all<em> of you for getting so caught up in my," He shuddered, "_Beautiful wings, fins, and scales!_ I really lost my head."

"Shh…" Sasori kissed the blonde's forehead, "We still love you."

"And I'm _especially_ sorry to you Kisame," The bird-demon sniffled, "I just go and jump into the competition after you had worked so hard, un!" Kisame, who had been given a bottle of energy drink from the paramedics to replenish himself, smiled,

"It's fine. I just…" He sighed, "I just wish I could have talked to Lord Sanbi's Royal Guard before they went to the hospital."

"Ahem." They all looked over and saw the captain of the Royal Guard and the other members standing in front of them (a few bandages and slings, but no more worse for wear). To say Kisame was stunned…

"I uh… Ababa… Um, I…"

…Was hitting the nail on the head, huh?

"So you're the excellent shark-demon who saved our lives!" The captain shook Kisame's hand, "We wanted to meet you and say thanks."

"Uh…" Kisame gaped as he shook hands with the captain. And the celebrity train kept right on rolling as Sanbi and Rokubi walked onto the scene.

"Rokubi-sama…" Itachi bowed, as did everyone else. Deidara sighed before apologizing,

"I'm _so_ sorry I ruined the contest. But Kisame here really _is_ the best, strongest swimmer in Adamant Sea City!" Kisame blushed at the compliment, but he nearly fainted when he heard Sanbi say,

"I more than agree, that's why this year's award and title go to Hoshigaki Kisame: the new master of The Great Shark Tsunami!" Two mermaids swam over and placed the honorary golden sea shell necklace around Kisame's neck, the shark barely believing what was going on. As the others celebrated Kisame's victory, Rokubi asked Deidara,

"Usually I take these matters to Itachi, but I think _you_ learned something important today Azumoji Deidara?"

"You mean _besides_ keeping myself on dry land?" Deidara offered, a warm smile on his face, "I learned that no matter what, you have to be there for your loved ones."

"This is the best day of my life!" Kisame whooped. Then, when he calmed down a bit, the coral-demon twins of the Royal Guard asked in unison,

"So, you ready to go?" Sanbi asked the bluenette,

"Are you?" Kisame hummed, looking to his parents and friends who gave him the go-ahead he so deserved, before he nodded,

"Let's go."

"Sweet!" The captain exclaimed as Sanbi led them all to his private carriage; the two sharks at the front, the two masters of The Great Shark Tsunami, talking like old friends.

* * *

><p><strong>OMAKE<strong>

When they had gotten back to the Manor, Itachi found himself watching all the news coverage of the contest. Kisame looked _amazing_ to say the least, he was in control of the boundless power that surrounded him.

The cameras had been able to catch every angle to make the normally magnificent, attractive demon even more so.

Itachi gasped and reached for the remote as he heard his door open. It was Mizuko, the mermaid sitting down next to Itachi on his bed.

"May I ask you something?" She asked and with such a sweet face, who was Itachi to say no? He nodded and Mizuko went on, "Do you have feelings for my son?"

"Mizuko-donno!" Itachi gasped, averting his face lest any body language give him away. But his reaction had given Mizuko her answer,

"Yes!" She jumped onto the bed, "I may just get grandchildren yet!" She landed back down and asked, "So, have you two _done_ anything yet?" Itachi didn't know how to respond to that: he shook his head. "Oh, well I should have known."

"Why?" Itachi was curious now, even if it might not be something he would want to hear. Mizuko pouted, crossing her arms,

"This damn vow of chastity that Kisame has isn't good for a growing boy!"

"Excuse me?" Itachi dead-panned, Mizuko nodding,

"He somehow got this idea in his head to make a vow that he won't sleep with anyone until he gets into the Royal Guard!"

"A vow of _chastity?_" Itachi gritted out. Sure, he was still a virgin too but he thought that on a certain date with the shark, the mood would have been right for such a thing. Wait a minute, Kisame was a virgin? "But… that dancing!"

"Oh, that's just a recreational activity." Mizuko sighed before looking right at Itachi and getting serious, "I can tell that he likes you, Itachi. Mizuki is smitten with you, and I can already see welcoming you into my family. So, just…" She stood to leave, "Don't break my baby's heart, okay?" The mermaid left the room, closing the door and leaving Itachi to his thoughts. Of course, the main one was:

"_Kisame's a virgin?"_

* * *

><p><strong>( 1 ) Man, I bet you kids don't know anything about Doctor Who! (Who am I calling kids, I still have yet to reach the American drinking age…) But yes, out of the background characters in MLP: FiM, I <strong>_**love**_** Doctor Whooves. **

**That's this week's updates for you all! I hoped you liked them, I worked hard damn it! JK, JK, but I still loe to hear everyone's thoughts so... Review! Review! Leave me the feedback! Yayz! I'm just typing random stuff here! I really should stop now! Okay! See you all next time! **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	41. Bitter Beauty Part 1

**A/N: Hey guys, Tyranno's girl here. Sorry for the late update, I had to film and edit a new episode of 'Let's Talk Pairings' on YouTube, so that took a lot of time... But I'm back with new chapters. So rather than me ramble on and on, let's get started. **

**Elric0sis, izzy1229anime, Alexa Hiwatari, Zetsu's Rose, and FMJ26... You guys are awesome~! **

**Let's read.**

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><p>The waves were gently rolling in towards the beach of Adamant Falls, demons all around enjoying the cool weather that Autumn was bringing. Two specific demons who were at the beach were Uchiha Itachi and Uchiha Tobi, the younger of the two talking a mile a minute about the competition that had happened a few weeks prior. "We're talking action <em>over-load<em>!" Tobi bounced around, "He was surfing faster and harder, and suddenly Kisame was like _whoom_!" Itachi, who was trying to read a book, sighed,

"Yes Tobi, I was there."

"And then he swam around, zoom here, zoom there, everywhere a zoom-zoom!" Tobi laughed, falling to the sandy ground. Itachi nodded,

"I was _there_, Tobi…" Tobi giggled, about to start talking again when he looked out at the ocean and saw Kisame surfing across the waters: collecting some to check how high the salt content was. He grabbed a pumpkin-shaped floaty and swam over, Itachi sighing in relief when he was finally left alone.

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><p>"Hm…" Kisame hummed as he let a piece of string float in the cup of water he had collected, small crystals beginning to form. "I should tell the others to get some sugar to balance the water out and –"<p>

"Kisame!" The shark-demon gulped, looking over and seeing Tobi swimming over.

"By Sanbi's lyrical voice, I'm not on Tobi duty today!" He then used his chakra to move his surfboard over the water, allowing the natural waves to take over. Tobi blinked before speeding up,

"Kisame!"

"Not now Tobi…" The shark frowned.

"But Kisame!"

"I'm working!" Kisame called back, Tobi whining,

"But—"

"I said not now – Agh!" Kisame had managed to crash into a rock spire jutting up out of the water, Tobi pouting,

"Tobi was going to say look out for that spire…" Kisame only groaned.

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><p>Later after his shift had ended and he had helped his team balance the water out, Kisame was in town shopping for some new bed sheets when he heard a familiar peppy voice asking around, "Excuse me, have you seen Kisame? No? Okay!"<p>

"Shit!" Kisame gulped hiding behind a bedroom furniture display. Tobi had gone through five more demons before he saw Itachi walking out of the stationery store.

"Itachi! Have you seen Kisame?" Itachi blinked before looking towards the home goods store across the way and asking,

"Isn't that him over there?" Kisame choked, immediately rushing for the nearest water source and using it to swim out of there. Tobi giggled before bouncing along after him.

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><p>Kisame swam all the way to Goldleaf Farms, looking out to see if he had lost the young demon when a happy voice chimed behind him, "Hi!"<p>

"Damn!" Kisame gritted out, using the nearby river to swim towards the mountains; Tobi _still_ bouncing along after him.

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><p>"I think…" Kisame panted as he made it to the top of a hill via stream, "That I finally lost him…" He stopped at the pond on top of the serene space, enjoying the quiet.<p>

There was a bubble.

Then a gurgle from the pond.

Slowly, Tobi rose up from the water with a pair of flippers and a snorkel. He removed the latter and chimed, "Tobi needs a favor!" Kisame was about to try swimming away again, but he stopped and groaned,

"What's the point?" Tobi giggled,

"Tobi promises that it'll be ultra-mega-fun!" Needless to say, Kisame was still skeptical.

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><p>A couple hours later, Kisame found himself outside of the Library holding two thunderstones in his hands (the stones that were used to make lightning bolts) listening as Tobi looked at the scene and called over, "A little more to the left!" Kisame moved to the left. "No, wait… To the right!" Kisame moved to the right. "A smidgen to the left!" Kisame frowned as he moved left again. "Now 2.56 inches west and…"<p>

"Tobi!" Kisame growled, the joy-demon giving a nervous chuckle,

"That should be good." He looked inside the library, seeing Sasuke collecting a few scrolls that Mayor Tsunade had ordered, "Wait for Tobi's signal…" When the dragon walked out of the door, Tobi snapped his fingers: Kisame smacking the two thunderstones together, creating a large boom of thunder.

"The fuck?" Sasuke shouted before he hiccupped, the shock of the sound jolting his whole body into a series of the small spasms. Tobi fell over giggling, practically tickled pink as he and Kisame laughed at the sight. "Oh ha – hic! – ha!" Sasuke growled, trying to pick up the scrolls. However, when he had one in his hands, he hiccupped: exhaling a plume of blue flame that sent it away…

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><p>Rokubi was working in his study when a scroll appeared above him. "Isn't it a bit early for a letter?" He asked, confused as he took the scroll.<p>

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><p>Sasuke tried to pick up the rest of the scrolls, he really did, but every time he thought he was done, he would just end up burning them all away…<p>

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><p>"I can't make heads or tails of this…" Rokubi whispered to himself as he read the first scroll, shouting as he was swamped with more of them.<p>

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><p>Tobi had to wipe the tears from his eyes, this was <em>too<em> good! "Have you ever seen something so _hilarious?_" Kisame smirked,

"I can think of _one_ thing…" The bluenette then slammed the thunderstones together, producing another thunderclap and shocking Tobi to the point that he got his own case of hiccups. But unlike Sasuke, he was laughing all the way through. Kisame shook his head, going to help Tobi up, "I never took you as a prankster Tobi."

"Are you – hic! –" Tobi tried to reply, "Kidding Tobi? Tobi _loves_ pranks, they're all in good fun – hic! – And Tobi _loves_ – hic -!" Tobi laughed, "Fun!"

"And that's something we can agree on!" Kisame smacked his hand against Tobi's back, ceasing the hiccups before he asked, "Want to go see who else needs a bit of fun here in Adamant Falls?" Tobi nodded, his smile almost as bright as the sun.

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><p>After a trip to the hobby-shop to pick up some supplies, Kisame and Tobi had left a basket of roses on Sasori's doorstep. "Are either of them even home?" Tobi asked Kisame, the shark-demon hiding both of them behind a bush. A moment later, Sasori opened the door and blinked at the present on the doorstep.<p>

"Hello there." The scorpion-demon picked up the flowers, sniffing them and thinking what a nice present they would be for Deidara, when his nose started to itch and twitch. "What the – Achoo!" He started sneezing up a storm, only then looking over to the nearby bushes and seeing Kisame and Tobi laughing with a can of sneezing powder before they rushed off.

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><p>Itachi had just rolled out a large scroll of paper on his desk in the Library. He had to condense five books worth of research on the three main cities in this part of the world (Adamant Sea City, Konoha, and Nyanopolis) onto a single, well-thought out outline.<p>

"Part 1: Adamant Sea City and the towns around it…" He stopped after that, going to get the book that he needed. But when he came back, the scroll was bare. "What the hell? Didn't I just-?" He stopped when he heard laughter from outside the library. When he looked out the window, he saw Kisame and Tobi laughing: the latter holding a jar of invisible ink.

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><p>"Damn wagon is more trouble than it's worth…" Kakuzu muttered as he had just had to fix his largest wagon's wheel <em>again<em> for the umpteenth time, "I keep telling those kids not to play around with it but _no…_" After he made sure the wheels were even again, he pulled it out: ready to pick some apples to sell. But when he got outside, his eyes went wide and he nearly screamed at the sight that awaited him.

All his trees, from the Granny Smiths to the Cat-napples, were all painted in chaotic arrangements of colors and spots. Just before he started to panic, he heard familiar voices and he looked over at the barn to see Kisame and Tobi holding buckets of paint and paintbrushes.

"I'll kill you!" Kakuzu roared, chasing after the two and hurling apple after multi-colored apple at them. When they were gone, he dropped the rest and sighed: wondering what he was going to do. Then he looked and saw that one of the apples had fallen in a bucket of water… and the paint was washing off. "Oh." He blinked, "Well, okay then."

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><p>Today was the perfect day to tend to the animals at the river. Those were Zetsu's thoughts as he broke apart a loaf of bread and a hunk of cheese before he began sprinkling them out to the fish in the water. When they were happily fed, he turned and saw two large bass and a turtle looking for food as well. There was also a <em>strange<em> sort of turtle, its glassy eyes looking off into the distance. Unbeknownst to the plant-demon, it was attached to a small hose that reached across the river and into a row of bushes where Kisame was looking at the scene through binoculars.

Tobi was bouncing behind him, holding the end of the hose that had a squeeze-device on it, giggling, "Is someone over there? Who're we going to squirt?"

"Zetsu." Kisame chuckled, Tobi's smile immediately fading,

"_What?_ No! No, no, no! We can't prank Zetsu-san, he's too nice and sensitive! Even the gentlest prank would get to him." After a moment, Kisame sighed,

"You're right… We need to find a new, tougher victim." While Kisame talked, it was so hard for Tobi to keep in his laughs as the shark-demon pulled away the binoculars revealing round smudges of ink around his eyes.

"Tobi has someone in mind…" He hummed, Kisame asking,

"Who's that?"

"The toughest demon around!"

"Really?" Kisame raised an eyebrow, "Do I know them?" Tobi walked over to the water's edge, looking at his reflection and gesturing for Kisame to do the same,

"Oh yes! You could say you're _very_ close! Ha ha!" Kisame blinked as he saw that _he_ had been pranked, but he couldn't keep his laughter in. "Gods, Tobi, if I knew before that you could be so much fun!"

Meanwhile across the way, Zetsu had leaned down to see if the stuffed turtle was doing okay (he hadn't moved all the while he was there).

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><p>The next morning, Tobi was rushing down to the beach wearing a silly mask and blowing on a noise-maker. He was so excited, he had just gotten a whole new basket of pranks and goodies that he couldn't wait to try out with Kisame.<p>

"Oh Kisame~?" He called out to the section of water that he knew Kisame's estate was under, "Rise and shine, there's a whole new morning and a whole lot of pranking—" He was cut off when a shimmering green mermaid's tail breached the water's surface and sent a splash of salt water into the joy-demon's face. "Owie!" Tobi whimpered as salt his eyes, "To do…" As Tobi was trying to clear his eyes, Kisame rushed out of the water and called,

"Hey Tobi!" He then dived underwater for a second before coming back up… With Mizuki and three new individuals. "Guys, this is my friend Tobi. Tobi, these two," He wrapped his arms around the two males that had come along: a shark-demon with messy black hair and grey-toned skin and a harpy with tanned skin and long, spinach green hair, "Are my best friends from my school days: Zabuza Momochi and Raiga Kurosuki. And this…" He pointed to the owner of the tail that had splashed Tobi, a slim, pretty mermaid with green and white hair, "Is… Um… Is…"

"We've gone over this Kisa…" The mermaid shook her head, bringing Mizuki up into her arms (the otter-demon not seeming to like it much), "My name is Lotus, isn't that right Mizuki-kun?" Mizuki struggled to get out of the mermaid's grip, the mermaid frowning towards Tobi, "It's… nice to meet you, I suppose."

"These two have been with me since my days at the NEPFBW," Kisame smiled, laughing as the other two pushed him away, "Hey, remember our school motto?" Raiga immediately groaned,

"Bringing up the worst part of our childhood education already?" Zabuza agreeing,

"I will _never_ get that stupid thing out of my head!" Kisame smirked at his two friends, the brunette shark-demon and the harpy face-palming (one with a chakra-mark of a large shark-tooth and the other with a chakra-mark of a swan), before Raiga whined,

"Only for _you_ Hoshigaki Kisame…" The three of them got in a line before chanting (Zabuza and Raiga nowhere near as enthusiastic as Kisame),

"To better this world is our life,

Ridding the world of droughts and strife…

Naturas Scouts, it's our quest,

To make this world the very best…" When they were done, Tobi couldn't help it: he fell over into a happy ball of laughter. Lotus frowned at Tobi's laughter, the joy-demon not noticing it but instead saying,

"That was great! And it gave me a great idea for a prank!"

"Oh, yeah…" Kisame cleared his throat, "I kind of promised to give these guys a tour since they just got to town and all… You don't mind, do you?" Tobi's smile faded a bit, but he replied,

"Oh… Um, sure… No problem…" Kisame nodded before saying to his two friends,

"How about a race?"

"You're on!" Raiga rushed off, Zabuza and Kisame following. Tobi sighed, taking off his silly mask. Lotus smirked at the joy-demon's dejected face before picking up Mizuki and rushing after the three males.

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><p>Like bolts of lightning through the water-systems of Adamant Falls, the trio of friends rushed: trying to beat each other, until they stopped at a creek near town.<p>

"You three are so _amazing_!" Lotus commented, squeezing Mizuki like he was a teddy bear. Kisame fist-bumped his two friends, Zabuza smiling,

"Just like the old days."

"Only better!" Raiga and Kisame laughed, the later asking, "So what should we do now?" Suddenly,

"Hi!"

"Huh?" Lotus gave a nasty frown as she saw that Tobi was bouncing over on a shiny, orange pogo-stick. She quickly thought for a moment before she gasped, "Oh no, I think I left my favorite ring back at the beach!"

"One, two, three – Go!" Kisame announced, him, Zabuza, and Raiga rushing back to the beach; Lotus following faster than Tobi could pogo.

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><p>"Oh look," Lotus discretely pulled her ring out of her pocket and pretended to pull it out of the water, "Here it is!" Mizuki frowned,<p>

"You had it all al—"

"Adults are talking, dearie!" Lotus smiled, covering Mizuki's mouth with her hand. Kisame sighed,

"Damn, I was hoping we would have found it." While they floated around the water, talking of old days in school, they almost didn't notice Tobi rowing over on an orange boat until he called over,

"That was _great_ guys!" Lotus had to hold in an undignified yelp as Tobi rowed over to them. She quickly said,

"Last one back to town gets breakfast on me!"

"Fuck yes!" Zabuza whooped as he got a head start, Raiga and Kisame rushing after. When the waters cleared again and they were alone, Lotus frowned and forced Mizuki underwater with her tail as she picked up a nearby rock and huffed,

"I think this sea-water is making you _dizzy_!", before she threw the rock into the boat: creating a hole that caused it to sink.

"Hey, wait!" Tobi called out, desperately trying to fix the hole. But Lotus threw more rocks, adding more holes before she swam over and hissed,

"Can't you take a hint, you miserable little cur?" Tobi whimpered,

"You're not being very nice…"

"Oh, bite me!" Lotus scoffed, "Stop hanging around Kisame like a tumor already! He doesn't need to be seen with a filthy earth-walker like _you_ when he could be seen with a beautiful mermaid hugging his arm like _me_!" She then grabbed for Mizuki and lifted her tail, "You're murkying up these waters, _dearie_! Shove off!", before slamming it down and breaking the boat in half: Tobi falling into the water as she swam towards town.

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><p>In front of the best café in town, Kisame was cheering, "I'm eating free today!" The trio looked over and saw Lotus walking towards them, but Kisame looked around and asked, "Hey, where's Tobi?"<p>

"Oh the poor dear is so sorry," Lotus smiled, "He had to _shove off_ for an errand or two…"


	42. Bitter Beauty Part 2

Inside the Adamant Falls Library, Itachi was fixing a book that had seen the worst part of Kakashi and Iruka's classes, but he wasn't alone as Tobi paced behind him. "Tobi, are you sure that Lotus is as mean as you think? Kisame and his other friends seem to like him just fine."

"But she's so _not nice_ Itachi!" Tobi insisted, "She ruined Tobi's pretty boat, she keeps stealing Kisame and his friends away, and she called Tobi a – what was it – oh yeah, an earth-walker!"

"Why does that sound so familiar..?" Sasuke, who was shelving reference books, asked himself.

"Tobi…" Itachi sighed, "I'm sure Lotus isn't that horrible, besides, she'll be gone after today. So just grin and bear it."

"Ooh!" Tobi fumed before storming out of the library, not happy at all that Itachi hadn't taken his side in the matter.

But as the young joy-demon walked towards the main part of town, he had to think, "Oh, maybe Itachi's right. Maybe Lotus-san isn't such a meanie-grumpy-pants; maybe Tobi's being a jealous-judgmental-pants…" Either way, Tobi looked at the sky and realized, "Oh, Tobi needs to open the bakery!"

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><p>"Here you go, have a nice day!" He told a customer as he handed them a cake box filled with their order. After they had left, the young demon walked over to the window of the bakery, milkshake in hand, and watched as Kisame, Zabuza, Raiga, Lotus, and a very uncomfortable-looking Mizuki walked down the street.<p>

"Crap…" Kisame groaned, "I just remembered I have to do the Afternoon wave patrol today. Hey, you two want to join in?"

"Sure!' Raiga beamed, Zabuza adding,

"Let's see if you've retained anything from school." As the three demons were talking, Lotus smiled,

"I'll just talk a little stroll around town. You three have fun!" With that, the trio rushed off: playfully fighting amongst themselves. As soon as they were out of eyesight, Lotus frowned up her face. "How am I supposed to spend time in a hodunk, unrefined mess like this?" Mizuki frowned at the mermaid holding him,

"You have a very bad personality."

"Shut up!" Lotus clasped her hand over his mouth, "Do you know how much work you'll ruin by piping up with that little mouth of yours?" When she was sure Mizuki wouldn't talk again, she began walking.

She moved through town and, before long, she saw a dog's tail wagging out of the bushes. A malicious little grin grew across her face and she moved right over before crushing the heel of her designer shoes into it.

With an agonized yelp, Hun jumped out of the bushes: the pain causing him to run off. "What was that for?" Mizuki gritted out, Lotus rolling her eyes,

"Stop feeling emotion for their kind little one. You'll be a _lot_ better off when you do."

"Poor Hun…" Tobi whispered from inside the bakery, "But… maybe it was an accident?" While the joy-demon was debating with himself, Lotus moved over to where two of Kakuzu and Hidan's kids were busy selling baskets of fruit. Amongst all the commotion, Lotus slid into the crowds and stole a few apples before walking off like nothing happened. "It _was_ an accident!" Tobi gritted out, "Tobi may have said she was _mean_, but she's also a _thief_! Wait," He sighed, "Maybe she'll pay for it later?"

Soft quacks filled the air as a family of ducks was being led through town by Ongakuhana and Kira, the small cat-demon helping her new friend out with chores. "Okay Lady Quackington," Kira smiled, "You're all clear and—Oh!" She yelped as she bumped into someone. Unfortunately, that _someone_ happened to be Lotus. "Excuse me, I—"

"Would you watch your steps you little wretch?" Lotus fumed, Kira rushing over to Ongakuhana, whimpering,

"I'm sorry, I—"

"Oh, you're _sorry _are you?" Lotus sneered, not letting Mizuki get a word in edgewise, "What if you had smudged my shoes? Or worse yet, gotten your filthy claws on my clothes?" Ongakuhana called out,

"Hey, calm down old lady!" Lotus's eye twitched before she snapped. She tossed Mizuki away in favor of seizing the two girls' hair and shouting,

"Out of my way you filthy earth-walker!", before shoving them both into the ground. The ducks flew and fluttered away as the two children fell to the ground. Ongakuhana coughed as she got her bearings back, looking for the ducks and about to give Lotus what for… But Kira could only look up at the mermaid with wide, watery, ruby eyes before rushing off and sobbing her eyes out.

"Kira-chan, wait!" Ongakuhana called out, rushing after her friend. When the two girls were gone, Lotus grabbed Mizuki's arm and hissed,

"You tell your father about this and I will _kill you_. I'll be damned if another marriage opportunity is ruined by _another_ brat." And with that, she walked away towards the beach: leaving everyone to mutter about the scene that had just occurred.

Inside of _Swirl_, Tobi's milkshake glass shattered in his hand as he narrowed his eyes and gritted out, "Tobi _gave_ her a chance, Tobi gave her _hundreds_ of chances. Tobi forgave the meanness and the thievery – But _NO ONE_ treats a child like that when Tobi's around!" He sighed, the pain from the glass shards embedding into his hand just now kicking in, "This calls for drastic measures. Tobi-style!"

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><p>The family of ducks carefully edged themselves into their new pond home. After the youngest one had swum by, the water's surface began to slowly still: reflecting the image of Ongakuhana and a still shaky Kira sitting by the pond's edge.<p>

"Hey…" Ongakuhana offered Kira a daisy to pick at, "It's okay, that lady probably just had something up her skirt anyway." The cat-demon girl took the flower and sighed,

"It isn't her that's making me feel bad, it's what she called us." Ongakuhana blinked her orange eyes before remembering,

"'Earth-walkers'?" Kira nodded,

"My Papa heard one of my older brothers used it by accident… Papa was _so_ angry, he made sure that we knew what those words really meant. It's…" Tears dropped from her eyes as she sobbed, "It's one of the worst insults you can give to a demon who can't swim!"

"Kira-chan…" Ongakuhana frowned, hugging her friend as she cried.

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><p>Later that afternoon, Tobi stood in the main part of <em>Swirl's<em> party-room, greeting one and all, "Welcome, welcome! Thank you for coming to this little celebration here!" _Everyone_ was there, Tobi even went into the Yonko Forests and dragged Ivan and Alfred to the get-together.

Over a glass of punch, Sasori asked Sasuke, "Who are these friends of Kisame's that everyone's talking about but I've never heard of?"

"Another shark-demon, a harpy, and a mermaid; a mismatched bunch but, meh." Sasuke replied. Meanwhile, Itachi asked Zetsu who was trying to get his daughter to stop frowning,

"What's going on over here? Tobi just rounded us all up out of the blue." Zetsu replied,

"He's throwing a get-together in honor of Kisame's friends –"

"Though one of them _hardly_ deserves it." Ongakuhana huffed, Zetsu quietly chastising her. The whole room had filled up with close friends (and demons who just wanted to meet the demon who had performed The Great Shark Tsunami) before Lotus walked in with Mizuki.

"Lotus-san!" Tobi cheered and went to welcome her, "I'm so happy you're here at my 'welcome to Kisame's friends'-party! Put her there!" Lotus rolled her eyes before shaking the joy-demon's hand, immediately seizing up in an electric-shock. When it had passed, Tobi giggled: looking at his new joy-buzzer as everyone else laughed. Lotus was gritting her teeth in anger, but she hid it well as Zabuza and Raiga walked in, laughing,

"A joy-buzzer handshake? That's just too much!"

"Yes…" Lotus gave a forced laugh, "Good one." As the other two went off to mingle, Lotus growled at Tobi, "I _know_ what you're up to."

"Goodie!" Tobi smiled, a knowing glint in his eye. Then, "Everyone, please welcome Zabuza-san, Raiga-san, and the lovely Lotus-san! Please make them feel at home!" As the claps and greetings rose up, Lotus was forced to keep up her smile as one of them handed her a slice of lemon cake. Thinking she could bear with things for a few moments longer, she took a bite.

She immediately screamed, her face going red as the sensation of a thousand hot needles pierced her tongue, "Quick, the punch!" Tobi laughed, Lotus taking a glass and hoping that it would help, just to have it spill onto her outfit due to the dribble glass. Everyone was having fun at the sight when Lotus drenched her mouth with some water, panting as the burning subsided.

"Oh my…" Raiga sniffled, tears coming on as he looked at the table filled with gifts, "Are these for us?"

"Mine!" Lotus laughed, immediately trying to unwrap one just to get a bunch of coil snakes and confetti to the face: everyone laughing again.

"Hey!" Deidara smiled, "That prank happened to _me_, last month un!"

"I bet I know who did _that_…" Lotus growled, Tobi smiling all the while.

The evening had gone swimmingly, the only drawback being that Kisame was stuck on emergency water-watch so he was going to be a little late. After a while of music and dancing, Tobi rolled in a giant cake, announcing, "Cake-time!"

"You even got candles for it?" Sasuke asked Tobi. But before he could get an answer, Lotus pushed Sasuke to the side and said,

"As the guest of honor, _I_ should blow out the candles!" Zabuza pointed out,

"We're here too –"

"No one asked you!" Lotus frowned before blowing out the candles… Just for them to surge back up. She blew again… They lit again. Again and again the cycle went until Lotus had to stop and call it quits, taking a seat.

"Relighting candles!" Naruto laughed as he cut himself a slice, "I haven't seen those since my tenth birthday!" As the others began to eat the cake, Lotus grabbed Tobi's sleeve and dragged him behind the cake and whispered,

"If you're trying to make me look bad, then _quit it!_ You have _no_ idea who you're messing with here!"

"Hey!" Hun's voice caused both of them to pop out from behind the cake as if nothing had happened. The young hell-dog had a bandage around his tail, but his beaming smile couldn't be held back as he saw the picture of a chimera on the wall, "Pin the tail on the chimera!"

"I love that game, un!" Deidara smiled as he reached for the tail, "I'll go first—" But Lotus snatched the paper tail away from the bird-demon, seething,

"Oh no you don't! _I'm_ going first!"

"Okie-dokie!" Tobi laughed, handing Sasuke the blindfold before bounced over and spun Lotus around, Sasuke quickly tying the blindfold. "Now," Tobi gently guided Lotus over to the poster, "Just walk forward and pin on the tail…"

"Oh-ho-ho!" Lotus laughed, "You'd just _love_ that wouldn't you? Well, no!" She pushed Tobi's arms away and sneered, "I'm going _this_ way!" Tobi immediately cried out,

"But the poster is—" Just then, Lotus slipped on a discarded plate of cake causing her to slide and trip into the kitchen. Everyone waited until she limped out of the kitchen, covered in sprinkles and flower. And when Tobi said, "Um, you pinned the tail to the wrong end…", everyone burst into laughter.

But Lotus was nowhere near the realm of laughter, or joy. Her eye twitched, she gritted her teeth, before she finally snapped, letting out an ear-piercing shriek in her frustration before screaming, "_This_ is your idea of _fun?_ _This_ is _entertainment_ for you?" To say that everyone was stunned at the turn that things had taken was an understatement. But Lotus only laughed at their silence, "Oh, of course! A bunch of idiotic, unrefined dolts like you wouldn't know real entertainment if it hit you like a bus! Gods, you all are so irritating! Stupid! Filthy! A chore to be around! Especially that _Tobi_!" She stormed over to Tobi, the joy-demon looking perfectly innocent as she screamed, "_You_ have to be the simplest, dumbest, most spastic demon it has _ever_ been my misfortune to meet! Bar none! Urgh!" She grabbed Mizuki's arm with a screech of, "We're leaving! _Now!_"

"Let go!" The otter-demon cried, triggering Itachi to go into the fray and pull the child away from the furious mermaid,

"I think that _you_ need to go somewhere and cool your head. Somewhere far, _far_ away perhaps?"

"How…" Lotus shook her head at the weasel-demon who was actually trying to chastise _her_ before she fumed, "How _dare_ you?" She drew her hand back, about to give a firm slap to Itachi's face… "Huh?" She blinked as she felt her hand held back. She turned and saw Kisame, who had rushed over from water-watch just to see this all taking place. Needless to say, what with his calm but furious expression, Kisame was _not _amused.

"Do you care to explain _what_ you think you were about to do?"

"Seriously," Raiga walked over, "You freaking lost it all over a few pranks?" Lotus screamed again, snapping her hand away from Kisame, shouting,

"But it's all Tobi's fault! I was being fine and civil but that little brat-!"

"Watch it…" Zetsu warned before he did something that he might regret.

"And by the way," Kisame growled, making sure that Lotus was looking at him, "_I'm_ the one who asked Tobi to throw this party for you guys. And _I'm_ the one who placed all these pranks before I had to go to work!"

"Tobi should have known," Tobi smacked his forehead while Lotus shook her head, "That dribble-glass had Kisame written all over it!" But Lotus shouted,

"No! It was all Tobi! No self-respecting water-demon would do something so immature and unrefined!" Just as she was about to let loose another stream of insults and screams, the door slammed open; Kakuzu and Hidan walked in, Kira shrinking behind her parents as she saw Lotus.

"Where the hell is she?" Kakuzu glared around the room. Lotus gulped,

"Uh-oh.", while trying to hide behind the table. But Kakuzu shook his head and walked over,

"I should have known. Why did you follow me here like a bad disease?" Hidan hadn't said anything, but when he felt Kira begin to tremble, he asked,

"Kakuzu, what the fuck's going on here?"

"This _creature_," Kakuzu explained, "Is the reason why I had to run away from home as a child. This _creature_ was in an arranged marriage-contract with me that I would have rather _died_ than go through with!"

"Oh, like hell!" Lotus shrieked back, "You shrunk out of our arrangement because you met that disgusting earth-walker over there!"

"I would ask you _not_ to use that phrase around such young ears!" Kakuzu growled. But Lotus merely shrieked back,

"Earth-walker, earth-walker, EARTH-WALKER! Gah! They always ruin _everything_ for water-demons, especially _you two_! Allowing yourselves to be corrupted from the pure way by these…" She glared at Hidan and Itachi before shrieking again, storming towards the door, "When you two get some sense in your heads from all this earth-walker nonsense, give me a call!" A vicious slam of the door told one and all that Lotus had left the building.

"Wow," Zabuza whistled, wrapping an arm around Kisame's shoulder, "That was _so _much more trouble than I thought it would be. Last time I bring a family member to visit." Kisame sighed before addressing everyone,

"I'm sorry guys. I just wanted you guys to meet my old friends but I didn't know that they would bring along –"

"Such a bigoted pain in the ass?" Hidan asked, Kisame nodding, turning towards Tobi,

"And I'm sorry she ruined this party you worked so hard to throw." Tobi giggled,

"It's okay! I just thought that the party would turn her frown upside down, oh well."

"No pleasing them all, I guess," Kisame agreed before asking Itachi, "Are you okay?"

"Mizuki's a little shaken up," The brunette hugged the otter-demon to himself, "But I'm fine. But I have to say, Tobi…"

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry for misjudging your observations."

"It's okay! You can't be a super-smarty-smart-pants all the time! Come on everyone," He laughed out, "There's still cake and music, let's party!" Calls of agreement went up all around as the music was turned up and dancing recommenced.

* * *

><p><strong>OMAKE<strong>

"So cousin," Zabuza asked as he, Kisame, and Raiga sat around a table at the party, "How's the real estate here? Being around Lotus's bigotry reminded how much I want to move out of my neighborhood."

"It's a growing town," Kisame explained, popping a dumpling into his mouth, "So there are always homes to rent or buy. Or you could just be like me and have a house built underwater near the town."

"But not everyone still gets an allowance from their parents…" Raiga rolled his eyes, Kisame immediately retorting,

"Most of that goes towards raising Mizuki I'll have you know!"

"Yeah, yeah…" Zabuza said, taking a sip of his drink, "But tell me: the dating-scene around here is good too right cousin?" Kisame nearly choked on his drink, coughing out,

"How the hell would I know?" But Zabuza moved knowing eyes into the crowd and saw Itachi dancing with Deidara and Hidan.

"So, you two dating yet?"

"Shut up!" Kisame growled, playfully getting Zabuza in a headlock, "I could ask you the same thing about your little sweet-heart! What was his name; the one who's still in high school?" Zabuza immediately blushed, growling back,

"Leave Haku out of this!"

"And you Raiga-chan," Kisame smirked, "Don't think I forgot about the little bit of black-mail I have on you. I still remember walking into your apartment and seeing you and little Ranmaru cuddled underneath the blanket and –"

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Raiga sobbed, tears coming down his eyes. "Hoshigaki Kisame, you are so cruel!" Kisame only stuck out his tongue before going back to his drink. Tomorrow morning he might take these two around for a tour of the available houses by the beach… Yeah, it would be fun to not have to wait forever and a day to torture them.

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><p><strong>AN: **

**Alright, that story's done! Read and review peoples! **

**Oh, and read the chapter after this if you can. Thank you!**

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	43. Coral Island

**A/N: Hey, lookie here: another KisaIta development chapter that looks like I rushed it like all hell... Yay...**

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><p>"<em>Hoshigaki-san..!"<em>

"_Hey… Kisame!" _

"_Mr. Hoshigaki..?" _

Under the waters near the beaches of Adamant Falls, Kisame found himself gritting his teeth in frustration. The reason? Well, as you can already tell, being in charge of water-watch is a tough job with a lot of strenuous activities and stressful responsibilities attached.

But _today_ was _really_ pissing Kisame off because it seemed that all of the other water-watchers were coming to him with their problems despite the fact that… _"Come on..! Today's my day off..! What is so important that you can't figure it out yourselves..?"_

"_The oysters are acting up again..!"_ One water-demon offered.

"_Tell them to get it together or they'll have to move..!"_ Kisame replied.

"_The seasonal currents are coming in faster than we can get our research done..!"_

"_Then kick it up a notch..!"_ Kisame sighed.

"_The rain-water basin is over-flowing..!"_

"_Then we'll just have to schedule a rainstorm soon..!"_ Kisame rolled his eyes. The bluenette groaned, _"Come on guys… I have a date…"_ At those words, everyone in the team stopped what they were doing. Then, all at once, they rushed over to Kisame and began bombarding him with questions about the who, the what, the when, and the how.

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><p>"Let's see…" Itachi hummed as he sat on a bench near the docks. The weasel demon had agreed to meet Kisame here for a… well, he didn't want to call it a 'date' despite them agreeing that it was a 'date' and Sasuke's taunting him all morning about it being a 'date' and Deidara and Hidan keeping him up all night last night to give him advice about what to do on this 'date'. "Who am I kidding?" Itachi sighed, looking at the sky, "It's almost noon; he should be here by now…"<p>

A few minutes later, he heard a familiar voice across the way groan, "Oh my gods, it's none of your business! Go back to work!" Itachi let the smallest smile grow on his face as he saw Kisame paddling a boat over to the dock while he tried to shoo the other water-watchers away. The other demons complained that they never had any fun before swimming off. "Finally!" Kisame shook his head and called out, "Itachi!"

Itachi nodded, picking up a basket that Tobi and Sasuke had packed this morning, and walking onto the pier. "Did you wait long?" Kisame asked as he helped the weasel-demon into the boat.

"No, it was fine. Here we go." Itachi made sure that he had a firm hold of the basket before giving a subtle nod to Kisame to start rowing the boat.

"I found a small island," Kisame spoke between strokes of the paddles, "While I was on water-watch one day. I thought it would be a good spot… For lunch." Itachi hummed in ascent, thinking that an afternoon in a relaxing setting like that would be good for both of them. Rokubi-sama had been pounding him down with research and from what Itachi saw, the change in seasons was ruining Kisame's schedule.

* * *

><p>The boat creaked as Kisame pulled it against the shore of their location. "Okay," He nodded as the boat was secure, "That should do it; you can climb out now." Itachi did just that, gently moving out of the vessel before looking around.<p>

The island was small, yes, but the pink coral sand and leafy palms swaying in the breeze made up for its size in bounds. As a hermit crab scuttled across his feet, he commented, "It's beautiful."

"So you like it," Kisame offered to carry the basket and allow Itachi the opportunity to explore the small island, "That's good." Itachi immediately began picking up shells and bits of coral from the beach as they walked down an unfounded path,

"Of course I like it, I _love_ it in fact!"

Kisame laughed, "You're so excitable! Come on, I think we can set up the picnic over here."

* * *

><p>"Hey…" Itachi had just finished bringing out the contents of the basket, Kisame commenting, "Do I have you to thank for today's lunch?" Itachi handed the shark-demon a plate before stating,<p>

"Sasuke helped put it all together… And of course I bought the sweets from Tobi…"

"Itadakimasu!" Kisame chimed, taking a rice-ball from the case. Lunch was mostly quiet, the sound of rolling waves and seagull cries providing the only atmosphere. But Itachi couldn't hold it in anymore, saying,

"The other day, you were… _Amazing_!" Kisame shook his head, taking a drink of one of the soda cans,

"Stop…"

"I mean it!" Itachi added on, "I'm just sorry that we all imposed on hanging out with you at such a crucial time. And also for Deidara's behavior…" Kisame downed the rest of the can's contents before speaking,

"There's nothing to apologize for. In all honesty, if it weren't for… my petrifying fear of failure, Deidara wouldn't have bothered me so much. Gods, I'm pathetic, I know –"

"I hope you're not being serious with that!" Itachi snapped, "You are the strongest demon I know, and that's not just the…" The brunette trailed off, tearing his eyes from the shark-demon's toned physique, "Also, you've been taking care of Mizuki by yourself for such a long time…"

"How has Mizuki been doing by the way?" Kisame asked, a slight blush staining his features. Itachi immediately smiled,

"He's become so much more sociable! But I can't take all of the credit for that; he's been going on his little 'adventures' with the Chakra Mark Musketeers. He does always come by the library with a cupcake or a candy bar that he shares with me though…" He picked up a cupcake and hummed, "I wonder how Sasuke and Naruto are handling the kids right now…"

* * *

><p>"Chakra Mark Musketeer Wagon-Racers! YAY!" The group of everyone's favorite children cheered as they rushed through the city on two wagons, Sasuke and Naruto running after them,<p>

"Wait, stop!" Naruto shouted, Sasuke screaming,

"You guys don't know what your parents will do to me if anything bad happens to you!"

* * *

><p><em>Drip!<em>

"Wait a minute…" Back on the island, Itachi looked at his glass before looking up to the sky, "What was that?"

"What was what?" Kisame asked, looking up to see what Itachi was talking about.

_Drip! Drip!_

"Hey!" Kisame growled as two cold drops of water fell on his nose. "Don't tell me…" He sniffed the air and groaned, "I tell those idiots that we need to schedule a rainstorm and they make one for today?" Before either of them could say anything else, more and more rain began to fall. "Shit!"

"Let me get the blanket and the food!" Itachi quickly rolled up the blanket and its contents, stuffing everything into the basket before Kisame looked around and stated,

"There's a cave over there, let's see if we can wait out the storm in there!" Itachi nodded, both of them rushing over to the cave.

When they were inside, Itachi slid down to the ground: shaking his hair to get rid of excess water. "Hey…" Kisame tried to block the water with his hands but ended up sighing as he joined the weasel-demon on the cool ground. "Some date, huh?" The bluenette sighed. Itachi chuckled, leaning on the larger one's shoulder,

"One of the best I've been on."

Suddenly, there was a crumbling sound before both demons found themselves tumbling through a well-hidden tunnel that had been revealed due to the combined weight of the two males.

Finally, after a few minutes of tumbling, the two landed in a dark space lit only by the traces of glowing precious stones in the walls. Kisame landed first, Itachi landing on top of his chest. "Okay…" Kisame groaned, "No more island dates…"

"You make a very good landing pillow though." Itachi offered, Kisame chuckling at that. The space was silent, and the close proximity of the two got Itachi thinking of all sorts of things. But the one thing to pop out of his mouth was,

"Is it true… About your vow of chastity?" He felt Kisame slump, the shark-demon asking,

"Did my mother tell you that?" Itachi nodded, "Yes, it's true. I vowed not to do anything like that until after I joined Lord Sanbi's Royal Guard."

"Oh…" Itachi replied, "I see."

To this day, Itachi didn't know what possessed him to say what he did next. But he would never regret asking, "Does that include kissing?" Itachi blinked when Kisame made a noise akin to choking (luckily the dim light hid _all_ blushing),

"Well, you see… I… Um…" Kisame decided to just tell the truth. "I've never…"

"Oh, _oh!_" Itachi blinked once he understood what Kisame was getting at, sure that if it weren't for the darkness, he would be tomato-red.

"Have you?" Kisame asked, Itachi immediately replying,

"No! Well, I've read books on the topic, but…" Kisame had to chuckle at Itachi's flustered state, it was just too cute. That was probably what prompted him to raise his head, just so, to the point that his lips touched against the brunette's.

Itachi, if he could have, probably would have jumped away five feet. But the close space and the shock from that small bit of contact caused something in his mind to… to click. He lowered his head down, pressing his lips against Kisame's. The sensation from the contrast of the elder's slightly chapped lips to the younger's soft, plush ones triggered something in the two.

Kisame quickly rolled them both over, gently biting Itachi's bottom lip. Itachi gasped, Kisame slipping his tongue in to gently move and wrestle against the other.

'_I thought he said he'd never done this before!'_ Itachi's mind screamed, but after a while he moaned, _'Oh, stop thinking already! This feels too amazing!"_ And with that, the brunette tried to do his best to kiss back: lips parting occasionally only to meet back up again and again, both parties softly moaning from the feelings rushing through them.

But what happened next? Apparently the space they were in wasn't the sturdiest place in the cave. So, once again, they found themselves rolling through another tunnel that finally led back outside.

"I hate this place." Kisame frowned.

"At least the rain's stopped." Itachi got to his feet, a blush on his face from what had just transpired.

"Yeah… But still…" The shark-demon picked up the basket and was about to go set up the boat when he looked out towards the sea. The setting sun was presenting a beautiful vermillion image that seemed to make this day all worth it.

"It's beautiful!" Itachi gasped at the view, but Kisame only glanced over at him,

"Yeah, it really is."

* * *

><p>Later that night, Itachi walked into the library and was hoping to get some rest. But instead he found his friends there waiting up for him with a celebratory bottle of champagne. "Well?" Hidan asked, hand on the bottle-opener. The room was silent until Itachi smiled, shaking his head.<p>

"Aw…" Deidara and Alfred frowned, Hidan tossing the champagne out the window. The Trickster Spirit sighed,

"Damn, I lost!"

"Cough it up kid…" Hidan smirked, taking the cash they had bet on from Alfred's hand, "And anyway, I wasn't expecting anything to happen today; you two are still young in the aspect of adult life…" While Hidan was assuring Itachi that he still had time to explore the adult world, the weasel-demon couldn't help but allow his fingertips to touch his lips, the sweet feeling of Kisame's embraces still there.

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><p><strong>AN: **

**Yay..? Like? Hate? Want to throw me into a pit of parasprites? Just tell me in the form of a review! **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	44. Who? You? Part 1

**It's almost All Hallow's Eve guys, can you believe it? Can you also believe that sunday before last was my birthday? Man, I feel old. **

**Hidan - You're only twenty. **

**TG - Man, I feel old! **

**But anyway, I'm on a bit of a high right now because yesterday I downloaded the 'Luna Eclipsed' episode and I watched that shit like three times (not in a row of course), I kid you not. I loved Luna... **

**Oh, but I should not be speaking of such matters! Oh, I can't help it! **

**WE WOULD LIKE TO GIVE THANKS TO THE PATRONAGE AND COMMENTS OF THE FOLLOWING READERS: ALEXA HIWATARI, ZETSU'S ROSE, WATERBOMB22, ELRIC0SIS, AND FMJ26! **

**LET US PARTAKE IN THIS NEW CHAPTER!**

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><p>Late in the afternoon at the Adamant Falls library, Sasuke rushed over to a display-case that held Itachi's prized telescope. He placed it into a large wagon along with a picnic blanket and a pile of books. Itachi, walking out of his room with a new jacket, smiled as he spoke, "This meteor shower is going to be amazing! Shichibi is getting all the practice in that he can before the Shooting Star Ball, so it's lucky that he invited us."<p>

"Thank the gods for knowing certain demons," The dragon hummed as he placed a fruit basket into the wagon.

"We'd better get a move on," Itachi stated as Sasuke packed the drinks, "We don't want to be late, so… Sasuke, check-list."

"Ready." Sasuke called back before Itachi tallied off,

"Brushes and ink?"

"Check." Sasuke tossed them in.

"Scrolls?"

"Check." Sasuke threw the scrolls of paper into the wagon, rushing over to the counter and picking up a large bowl of cookies, "Telescope, fruit basket, drinks… I even bought those triple vanilla-nut, choco-Lot cookies you like so much." Itachi chuckled, shaking his head,

"You really are the world's best brother _and _assistant otouto."

"I'm sorry?" Sasuke feigned his hearing with a smirk on his face, "What was that?"

"Oh, quit looking for someone to stroke your ego, Sasuke." Itachi turned and flicked Sasuke on the forehead, continuing on with his walk to the door. But he suddenly remembered, "Where's that book on astronomy that Rokubi-sama had Shichibi write and autograph especially for me?" Sasuke groaned, already pulling the heavy wagon,

"You mean that _really_ old, _really_ big book on planets, moons, and stars?" Itachi nodded, Sasuke rolling his eyes and going off to find said tome. The dragon looked around the reference shelves for a few minutes before he found the thick, blue book he was looking for. "Here we go." He dusted it off, the star decorations sparkling for a moment, before the dust agitated his nose to the point where he was about to sneeze…

But it abated, the navy-bluenette sighing in relief before he opened the book to the middle. Out of nowhere, the sneeze came back in full-force: a rush of blue flame coming out and scorching the pages into ashes. "Shit!" Sasuke gulped, making sure that no one was around to see him as he placed the book deep in the shelf behind all of the others.

"Sasuke, come on, we have to go!" Itachi called out, Sasuke shakily replying,

"Go on ahead, I'm coming!"

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><p>The beaches of Adamant Falls were packed to the gills as everyone in town had set up camp to see the shooting stars fall to earth. Itachi hummed as he walked, "I was sure that I put that book up in Reference…"<p>

"Well," Sasuke cleared his throat, pulling the wagon along, "Someone is probably taking their good, sweet time with it. Besides, aniki, you're a genius! You shouldn't need some book to help you identify the stars; you can do it on your own!" The weasel-demon laughed,

"You're such a flatterer."

"Yeah, well I have to work on my game for…" He trailed off as he saw Kisame walking over with Mizuki and, "Naruto-chan…" The dragon shook himself out of his daze, quickly setting up the blanket, food, and drinks before Kisame sat Mizuki down and observed, taking a can of beer,

"Itachi I have to admit, Sasuke's on his a-game tonight."

"Yeah, he's like the best assistant ever!" Naruto beamed as he took some cookies, "Next to me, of course."

"I say," That call came from Sasori as he, Deidara, and Saso made their way over. "Do we have Sasuke to thank for this spread?"

"Isn't he simply so thoughtful, un?" Deidara offered. Sasuke laughed all the praise off,

"Come on…" But after a moment of silence, he frowned, "Seriously, come on." Sasori dug into his bag, speaking up,

"That reminds me. I was working on this in my spare time and I thought that you might like it Sasuke." It turned out to be a chain choker decorated with blue and black gems.

"This is great!" Sasuke immediately put the choker on, "But you guys are embarrassing me, stop it… The others won't have anything to praise me on if you go on!" Itachi flicked his brother on the side of the head, shaking his head,

"That's enough. Your head wouldn't look as good if it got too big."

* * *

><p>It took a few more minutes for everyone in the group to arrive, but they were soon all settled in. Good timing too, as Alfred pointed up and cried, "Here they come!" Everyone rushed towards the end of the beach to see as the first of the stars fell from the sky. They all watched in awe at the natural show of light. Sasuke was enjoying it too, until he started to feel so sleepy all of a sudden, his eyes drifting closed despite his efforts to watch the rest of the shower.<p>

* * *

><p>Afterwards, a small party had been held: everyone at the beach sharing what spoils they had brought along. Zetsu took a rice-ball from the plate that Hidan had brought while Tobi and Alfred scarfed down the rest of the cookies, the blonde asking, "Itachi, did Sasuke bring any more of these awesome cookies?" Itachi called out,<p>

"Sasuke, are there any cookies left?" But when he didn't get an answer, he called again, "Sasuke?" He turned towards the side of the blanket and saw Sasuke, in dragon-form, sleeping away: dead to the world. Naruto padded over to him in fox-form, patting at his forehead,

"Is he okay?"

"Yes," Itachi nodded with a smile, "Though he's an adult, he's still relatively young for a dragon so his body will shut down like this to help him grow." Naruto hummed in ascent before walking around in a circle then snuggling up besides the sleeping dragon.

"So cute…" Zetsu commented in a whisper, everyone silently agreeing.

* * *

><p>After the party had wound down and everyone went home, Kisame and Ivan had to help carry Sasuke back to the library. When they had settled him into his room, Ivan vanished in a whirl of wind to catch up with Alfred whereas Kisame placed a simple kiss on Itachi's cheek, wishing him good night before he left to take Mizuki home.<p>

When they were gone, Itachi checked in on Sasuke one last time before whispering, "Good night otouto," and gently closing the door.

The brunette padded downstairs into the main part of the library, settling down at a desk with a calligraphy brush, a jar of ink, and a scroll before he began writing, "'It was on the twentieth day of October that me and my friends paid witness to the exquisite meteor shower caused by Shichibi No Kaku, the seven-tailed badger. I—"

A loud flutter and tremble caused him to stop mid-sentence.

He rushed to the window, looking out to see what had caused the noise, only to see the still town and the calm, dark sky. "Huh" He simply walked back to the desk, not knowing that he hadn't locked the window. "Where was I?" He asked before he got back into writing. But the sound of creaking caused him to stop. Then, a rush of wind blew into the library, picking up the scroll and carrying it out of the window. "Shit!" Itachi gritted out as he went to grab his coat, "This is a job for Sasuke! If only he were awake!"

"Who?"

"What?" Itachi blinked, turning back towards the desk to see that an adorable specimen of a snowy owl with the most peculiar markings around her eyes (they made it look like she was wearing glasses) sitting on the table, dropping off the scroll that had just flown out. Just as she was about to fly away, Itachi gasped, "Wait! Please don't go!" The owl turned back around, blinking her wide eyes. When Itachi was about to try and say something else, a gust of wind blew in: causing the owl to shiver. "It is cold out tonight: the changing seasons and all. You could stay the night; keep me and the books company."

"Who-who!" The owl hooted, flying over to a nearby shelf: watching Itachi as he wrote down his research.

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><p>"Hrm… Naru-chan, don't go…" Sasuke, back in normal-form, was still in bed the next morning; having the most wonderful dream about a certain Kitsune. But then, he slowly woke up before shouting and looking at the clock, "I over-slept?" He wasted no time in grabbing his clothes and a quick shower before rushing downstairs, still damp as he tried to get his shirt on, "It's late, I know, but I'm still shiny-scaled and bright-eyed and ready to work!"<p>

Sasuke made it downstairs just in time to see Itachi eating a slice of toast as he packed a few books into a bag. "Oh, you're awake?' He asked, Sasuke blinking,

"Everything is… Okay? I don't see clutters of books or smell burning food or—"

"Blink helped me this morning," Itachi explained, "She kept me in tune and made sure that I didn't burn or mess anything up."

"Who?" Sasuke blinked, Itachi adding,

"Our new junior assistant. She'll help you out with chores in case your body needs growing time again." At first, Sasuke entertained the idea of having an assistant, but he shook it off,

"Why do we need another assistant? I'm fine, I feel as though I can do twice the work I did yesterday and—"

"Just have Blink help you out with what you can't do Sasuke," Itachi shook his head, walking towards the door, "I have to go examine the flowers that Rokubi-sama said bloomed last night during the meteor shower. You should introduce yourself to Blink; she's in the Reference section."

When Itachi was gone, Sasuke rolled his eyes, "What do I have to worry about some ditzy skank for? She'll probably trip up on something simple and Itachi will send her off." With that, he moved towards Reference, dusting while he went, until he saw a snowy owl that, upon hearing Sasuke come closer, turned her head all the way around to face him. "Okay, that's not hot." Sasuke commented before shaking his head and saying, "You must be Blink… Not what I was expecting, but hey, whatever floats aniki's boat. I'm Sasuke, Itachi's brother and _main_ assistant. But I'm sure you've heard all about me."

"Who?" Blink blinked.

"Um, _Sa-su-ke_." Sasuke stated as if he were talking to a toddler, "And who are you again?"

"Who?"

"Wait, what? I thought your name was Blink?"

"Who?"

"Okay, fine," Sasuke growled, "Who, Blink, _whatever_. The point is that _I'm_ the top-dog around here and _you _would do well to remember that. _Capisce_?"

"Who?" Hooted Blink, Sasuke groaning into his palm,

"Look at me, I'm arguing with a bird…" He then stood up straight and announced, "I'm watching you, okay feather-brain?" Sasuke gave a scoff, showing off his confidence, before walking out of the library. But outside, he growled: smoke whisping out of his mouth, "That bird's trying to steal my job? She won't make it past day _one_. Oh yes, I'll be back on top of the pedestal in no time." Then he walked away, not knowing that wide eyes had been watching him from the window.

* * *

><p>Two days later would find Sasuke reading a book on the activities and traits of owls on the porch of the library while Itachi showed Blink off to all their friends. "What a fantastic, flufferific, feathered friend!" Tobi cheered, "Tobi's <em>hoo<em>ked!" They all laughed at that, except for Sasuke. Zetsu smiled as Blink flew and landed on his shoulder,

"She's just wonderful."

"'She's just _wonderful_'…" Sasuke mocked. But when he felt all eyes on him, he cleared his throat, "I mean, wonderful! Quite the _charmer…"_ He ended with a snort. Ignoring the dragon's bad mood, Sasori reached into his bag,

"I have just the thing for this little starlet." He pulled out a soft leather-choker and gently tied it around Blink's neck, the owl blinking at the motion. Sasuke growled, shutting the book shut and storming into the library: slamming the door shut.

"What got up his ass?" Hidan asked, Kisame offering,

"He's probably feeling a little jealous of Blink."

"Threatened even?" Ivan added in, Kisame nodding. But Itachi called Blink back to his shoulder and laughed it off,

"Me? Replace Sasuke? That idea's so unbelievable, I can't take it seriously!"

* * *

><p>"I can't believe that they're <em>seriously<em> trying to replace me with that damn bird!" Sasuke seethed inside of the library, pacing back and forth through the halls, "Well, I'm just going to have to show them that _I_ deserved to be here more than any feathered skank or disease-ridden birdbrain and—" He immediately stopped his speech when Itachi walked in, Blink on his shoulder (and staring at Sasuke), and moved right over to his writing desk for more research.

"Sasuke, can you find me that copy of Foreign Plants—"

"And Customs, already on it!" Sasuke interrupted, rushing over to the right shelf and climbing up the ladder… Just to find the book missing. "Where'd it go?" Just then,

"Sasuke, don't worry about it." The dragon looked over and saw that Itachi already had said book, "Blink flew over and got it for me."

"Hooray for that…" Sasuke rolled his eyes, sliding down from the ladder.

For the smaller script on his research of his new botanical discovery, Itachi had switched over to a quill pen. But while he was writing the fifth page, there was a foreboding crack. "Shit… My last writing quill."

"I got it!" Sasuke shouted, already at the door.

"Sasuke, wait!" Itachi called after his brother, but he was already gone.

* * *

><p>For the next few hours, Sasuke rushed back and forth through town: desperate to find a quill for his brother. But it seemed that every time he thought he could find one, something would pop up…<p>

"Your store is literally _called_ 'Quills and Sofas'!" He shouted to a store-owner, "You only sell _two_ things!" The store-owner gave a nervous chuckle,

"Sorry kid, all out of quills until Monday." He waited a moment before offering, "Need a sofa?"

* * *

><p>"Hm…" Tobi hummed as Sasuke asked him for a Quill, not noticing the smoking trail of buildings beside his own. "Tobi could have sworn…" He dug in a nearby pantry before beaming, "Here we go: a quince!"<p>

"No Tobi…" Sasuke growled, "A _quill_."

"Oopsie!" Tobi giggled before leaving and coming back with, "A quail?" The bird flew next to Sasuke for a moment before he gritted out,

"I already have _one _bird I can't get rid of!"

"A quilt?" Tobi tossed over a chain of items, calling them out one after the other, "A quesadilla? A quiche?"

"No, no, and no! I need a quill!" Sasuke shouted, Tobi shaking his head,

"Nope, all out of those!"

* * *

><p>After eating the quiche (and damn, was it actually good), Sasuke had to turn towards drastic measures. Which explained what he was doing at Goldleaf Farms harassing the chickens. "Come here damn it!" He shouted, chasing a stubborn rooster.<p>

He hadn't known that, while he was suffering, he had attracted a bit of an audience in the form of the whole Hoku-Shiroi family. It all came to a head when Sasuke tackled the rooster to the ground and proceeded to get into a claw-filled wrestling match with it…

* * *

><p>Late that afternoon, Sasuke limped back to the library: a rooster feather in hand. When he got through the door, he groaned, "Aniki… I got the damn quill…", holding a rooster feather. Itachi was sitting on the couch, signing a copy of his completed research.<p>

"Sasuke, I was trying to tell you when you were turning this place upside down, Blink gave me one of her feathers to use as a quill."

Sasuke saw red, growling to the point that the feather in his hand combusted. "That's great! _Fine_!" He limped into the library, "_Amazing_! Now, unless _someone_ wants to steal _all_ of my responsibilities," He gritted out to Blink especially, "I think I'll mop the floors and restock the refreshment case before I call it a night and –"

At that moment, Sasuke's body decided to shut down for the evening: shifting into dragon-form as he started snoring away. Itachi shook his head, petting Blink on the head, "Don't worry, he'll come around. Usually he's fairly nice to new-comers…"


	45. Who? You? Part 2

A loud slam, a book hitting the floor at full-speed, roused Sasuke from sleep. "What the hell?" He looked down and saw the remains of Itachi's astronomy book. "Oh shit."

"Uchiha… Sasuke…" Itachi's words were stifled from his rage, "_What_ is this? You said this book was missing, but Blink found it like _this_ this morning! What the hell happened?"

"Well, I…" Sasuke gulped, his brother's glare almost suffocating. "I didn't want to… disappoint you… but…" He finally decided to bite the bullet, "Have you ever seen a dragon sneeze?"

"I've seen one _lie_!" Itachi yelled before trying calm himself down from doing something he would regret. Blink hooted as she pushed over a tray holding a tea cup. Itachi took a sip, sighing as he felt the brew's calming effects. "I won't say anything more," He began, "But I'm very disappointed in you Sasuke."

As Itachi walked away, Blink roosted on a nearby shelf. But Sasuke immediately walked over and growled, "You want to make me look bad? Huh? Well let me tell you, I'm not going anywhere and there can only be _one_ assistant in _this _library!" Blink only blinked,

"Who?"

"Fucking..! Gah!" Sasuke shifted into dragon-form, flying off before he blew a gasket.

* * *

><p>When he was outside, flying through the air, his thoughts completely centered on: <em>'Damn that bird… Itachi's pissed at me now… All her fault… I <em>_**have**__ to get here out of the picture… But how?'_

He landed in the center of town, taking a rest from flying in ovals, when he saw a small bonsai tree swaying in the wind.

A wicked smirk grew on the dragon's face as a plan most malicious formed in his head.

He snuck over to Sasori and Deidara's house just as the two fashionistos walked out: Saso, Opal, and Gold dust in tow. "Come along," Sasori called to his family, "We have to get over to Zetsu's so we won't miss lunch."

After making sure that they were all gone, Sasuke snuck into their house through an open window. She shifted out of dragon-form, sneaking through the halls until he got to the corner that was designated as the pets' haven. The navy-bluenette grabbed the limited-edition wooden-carved habitat and snuck out of the house, smirking,

"Once Itachi sees that Blink destroyed Opal's home, he'll have no choice but to get rid of Blink in order to save face. Ha!"

* * *

><p>Upon getting back to the library, Sasuke hummed as he picked up a hammer from the closet before taking it to the habitat: crushing it into pieces. He then rushed to his bed room and took his pillow, laughing out loud in triumph as he ripped it apart and tossed the feathers about the room. "Let's see how much favor Blink holds after this and – What the..?" He bumped into something, causing him to turn and gulp as he met with Itachi's face. "Um…" He looked at the shredded pillow in his hands before slowly hiding it behind him, "This isn't what it looks like?"<p>

"Sasuke…" Itachi seethed, pressing his face into his hands, "Please, just… just go."

"But aniki!" Sasuke cried, Itachi shaking his head as he left the library, slamming the door. Sasuke couldn't believe it. His brother had kicked him out? All because of some damn bird?

* * *

><p>"Fine!" Sasuke shouted as he walked through the Yonko Forests that night, a hastily packed suitcase in his hands. "Itachi hates me…" He muttered, "I'm cold, hungry… alone… Could this day get any worse?"<p>

A crack of lightning heralded the oncoming shower of frigid rain.

"Thank you!" Sasuke growled out, speeding up his movements so he could try and find shelter before he froze to death. By pure chance, he found a large cave that seemed like it had been abandoned. "Well," He gave a shrug, "Waste not, want not."

Sasuke walked into the cave, flinching as he thought he saw something in the darkness. But seeing as how it wasn't moving, he decided to get a bit closer…

A bit closer…

Then, his eyes went wide as they landed on a stockpile of gemstones, sparkling like stars and rainbows all at once. "Hot-damn!" Sasuke tossed his suitcase down, opening it up so he could stuff as many gems into it as possible before he went into the pile and began to chow down, laughing, "If _this_ is what running away is like, I'm _never _going home!"

* * *

><p>Later on, Sasuke lay on his back: sleeping off a good meal. But the silence of the cave was beginning to unnerve him. "Even with my stomach full, I'm still empty…" A flash of the gang hanging out at the meteor shower caused a sigh to crawl from his throat, "I miss Itachi and the others… Especially Naruto…" But a glimpse of Itachi's angry face and how everyone was cooing over Blink caused him to growl, "They don't want me? Fine, I'll stay here with my precious stone buffet."<p>

He started chomping away at a sapphire when he groaned; sweat dripping down his brow as the cave increased in temperature, "Getting like a sauna in here…" He wiped his forehead, "Always good for the complexion, but where is it..?"

He turned around, seeing a large dragon with her body decorated in gems not unlike the ones Sasuke had been eating all night. She growled, more steam billowing from her mouth as she narrowed her eyes and asked,

"_WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN __**MY**__ CAVE? AND __**WHY**__ ARE YOU EATING __**MY**__ GEMS?"_ Sasuke gave a nervous chuckle, dropping the half-eaten sapphire and speaking up,

"Hey onee-san! What's up?" When the gem dragon's expression didn't change, Sasuke added on, "I didn't know this was you cave, or that these were your gems. You see, it was raining and I needed a place to sleep-!" The other dragon growled as he closed in, Sasuke coughing out, "Hey, you know, we're both dragons… out here on our own… It's us against the world!"

The gem dragon's eyes only grew in ferociousness, causing Sasuke to admit, "Look lady, you don't really scare me. Yeah, you're big. Yeah your…" He gulped, "Claws are razor-sharp like diamond. Yeah, your tail is… Heh, covered in spikes. But… you don't scare me with your fatty-fat-fat size! You're probably PMS-ing or some shit like that."

The gem dragon blushed in fury, exhaling a rush of white flame that Sasuke narrowly avoided. But when he stood back up, he felt that his infamous duck-butt style had been singed down a bit. "Oh, now you done messed up the _wrong_ 'do!" Sasuke shouted, inarticulate with rage as he shifted into dragon-form and smacked the other dragon with his tail.

The she-dragon hissed as she felt her face scratched and exhaled another plume of white flame, Sasuke counteracting it with blue fire. The two dragons cut it off after a moment, the she-dragon swiping a claw towards Sasuke: the other flying away.

Unfortunately, he flew into a corner and the gem dragon was coming in fast. "Shit…" Sasuke gritted out, "I'm going to die in a musty old cave without ever telling Naruto my feelings or even apologizing to Itachi…"

"Who-who!"

"Are you kidding me?" Sasuke blinked at Blink's cry as the snowy owl flew into the cave and stated to try and distract the beast. While the gem dragon growled and roared as she dealt with Blink, there was a call of,

"Sasuke!" Sasuke looked towards the cave entrance and saw Itachi waving his arms in a panic, "Come on! Hurry!" Sasuke gasped, rushing over to his brother and saying,

"Am I glad to see you!", and allowing Itachi to climb onto his back. Sasuke then sped off just as the gem-dragon chased Blink out of her cave and began to hunt down the Uchiha brothers. Sasuke carried Itachi into a dark section of the Forests, but he gritted out, "It's too dark! I can't see!"

"Who!" Blink caught up to them before flapping her wings, the feathers reflecting the small amount of light in the area. Sasuke was able to follow the bird as she flew passed all of the obstacles. Behind them, the gem dragon was only able to follow until she got stuck in a mess of fallen trees.

"_NOOO!"_ She roared, Sasuke smirking at her anger but flying on until they were on the outskirts of town. Blink rested on a small tree as Itachi climbed off of Sasuke, the younger shifting back into normal form. But no sooner had he caught his breath did Itachi yell,

"Uchiha Sasuke, what is going on with you? Do you have _any_ idea how worried I was? I had everyone in Adamant Falls searching for you! Why the hell did you run away?" Sasuke frowned before sitting down and sighing,

"I thought you didn't need me anymore. You got so pissed today, I couldn't think anything else." Itachi shook his head, sitting down next to his brother,

"Foolish otouto… How could I ever not need you? You're my baby brother, my number-one assistant. Yes, I was disappointed in you, but I could never stop loving you."

"Then _why_," Sasuke frowned, "Did you get Blink?"

"Sasuke, you are an adult." Itachi sighed, "But your body is still growing. When you have to sleep, I still need help. Owls are nocturnal, so Blink was the perfect candidate for aid, not replacement." Sasuke looked at his brother for a good, long moment. But then he smiled,

"Apology accepted. And Blink," He looked up at the owl who was fixing her wings, "Sorry about all my jealousy."

"Who?" Blink blinked, Sasuke's eyebrow twitching,

"_Me._ Sasuke."

"Who?" That just caused Sasuke to turn back to Itachi and mouth out, "What's with this thing?" Itachi laughed,

"She forgives you. In fact," He smiled as Blink flew down and rested on top of Sasuke's head with a happy hoot, "She really does like you."

"What?" Sasuke croaked, Blink leaning over to intently look at him, "Is that why – Damn it!"

"Who!" Blink hooted. Sasuke groaned at the aspect of having another fan girl, even a feathered one, but he had to ask,

"How did you two find me?"

"You left a little trail of feathers," Itachi explained, referring to some of the feathers from earlier that had stuck on to Sasuke's coat, "Blink found them and we followed them to you."

* * *

><p>They had gotten back to the library, Itachi making tea for the three of them (yes, Blink drank tea), when Itachi handed Sasuke a scroll of paper, a brush, and a jar of ink. "You need me to write a letter for you?' Sasuke asked. But Itachi shook his head,<p>

"No. I need you to write a letter in your own words to Rokubi-sama about what has happened this week."

"Whoa…" Sasuke blinked, "That's a big responsibility." Itachi only smiled,

"I'm sure you can handle it." With that boost of confidence, Sasuke began writing,

"Dear Rokubi-sama,

This is Itachi's brother Sasuke writing to you about—" _Thunk!_

Itachi shook his head as Sasuke fell over, back in dragon-form, and went out like a light. "Don't worry, you can finish tomorrow." He chuckled, going towards the sofa to get a blanket for the sleeping dragon. "Oh Sasuke…"

"Who?" That caused Itachi to turn towards Blink and say,

"You know, my brother and… Oh…" He shook his head as he covered what he could of Sasuke's body with the blanket, Blink helping him out a bit before going back to her roost.

* * *

><p><strong>TG - Okay, I'm going to have to say it: <strong>

**In this actual episode, what the FUCK was with the name 'Owlicious'? What _is_ that? What even _is_ that? **

**Thanks for reading. Please leave feedback. **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	46. Aurora Eyes and Hair of Snow

**A/N: Hey, more character development! **

**Crowds - Yay! **

**TG - But not for Kisame and Itachi. **

**Crowds - Boo! **

**TG - Don't be like that! Other characters need spotlight time too!**

* * *

><p>Let us take a walk through the Yonko Forests, shall we? Despite how many residents of Adamant Falls would tell you that that was a bad idea, we have to venture into these woods in order to fin the mansion of the Baba Yaga Ivan Braginski.<p>

Today said Baba Yaga was having company, which was good since Alfred had decided to go exploring. Ivan sat in the living room of his house, happily eating the food that his visitor had brought.

She was a Baba Yaga, like him, but if it weren't for the dust on her clothes and her nails, you never would have guessed that the woman with the short blonde hair, the sweet face, and the hefty bosom had ever done anything evil in her life.

But as Ivan ate, she hummed as she fixed up his scarf, the male Baba Yaga swallowing his mouthful with the help of some vodka, "Katyusha, you spoil me."

"But of course I do!" Katyusha smiled back, "You are my baby brother, I am being happy to do this much." Ivan hummed, taking a few more dumplings. But then something clicked in his mind,

"_Why_ is it that you are spoiling me today?" Katyusha gulped, waving her arms in defense,

"What? Am I needing a reason to spoil my sweet, young, handsome, talented, strong baby brother?" She tried to smile off the suspicions, but when Ivan wasn't fazed, she began to sob and cry, "Oh Vanya, I am so sorry! I cannot believe that I would be stooping as low as to take advantage of you like this! I am so stupid, please to be forgiving me~!" Ivan sighed, biting into a dumpling,

"Katyusha, please stop crying." When the older Baba Yaga slowed her tears, Ivan asked, "Now, what is it that you need? Money?"

"We have enough at the orphanage."

"Is someone threatening you again?" Ivan asked.

"Father has been doing a good job of protecting me and Natalia."

"Then what is it?" Ivan asked. He was confused now; those were usually the main things that Katyusha would ask him for. Katyusha sniffled and tried to look her brother in the eye, but she meeped and ended up looking at the table as she explained,

"There is a little one at the orphanage, a Baba Yaga like me and you, but the poor thing keeps getting looked over when we have adoption days. I am guessing because they are so quiet, and sometimes they lash out, but they are being a good child! They're just… scared."

"And you were coming to me because..?" Ivan asked, afraid of where this was going. Katyusha looked straight at him and asked,

"Could you and your wife please take this child in?" She bowed her head, "Please? I am begging you…" When Ivan saw tears falling to his sister's lap, he groaned,

"Katyusha, please cease your tears. Da, it is surprising that you would come here and lay such a task on me out of the blue… But…" He sighed as Katyusha's eyes were wide and watery, "But… I will help you."

"Really?" Katyusha gasped before hugging her brother, a tight squeeze because of her _endowment_, "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

* * *

><p>Later that evening, Alfred walked in through the door after a full day at Goldleaf Farms, "Hey Ivan, I got a free watermelon from Kakuzu for helping out at the farm today! Well, actually he gave it to me for half-price… Anyway," The Trickster Spirit set the fruit down on the couch before walking into the office where, sure enough, the Baba Yaga was sitting: apparently working on something that had his complete and undivided attention.<p>

At least until Alfred jumped on his back and asked, "Whatcha doing?" Ivan sighed, setting the papers down and rubbing his eyes,

"Hello Dorogoy…"

"So, how was your day with your sister?" The blonde asked, fiddling with a blank piece of paper. Ivan gulped. Well, he would have to tell Alfred sooner or later and maybe if he did, all this paperwork and working out finances for a household of three rather than two would be easier…

"Dorogoy," Ivan began, clearing his throat, "How are you feelings about… children?"

"Oh, I love kids!" Alfred jumped up, "Back in the settlement, I used to play with the kids of the married couples all the time. Although my brother Dances in Snow used to say that it was because I act like a child myself…"

"Yes…" Ivan waved his hand, gesturing for the blonde to stop his rambling, "What I was meaning to say was… how would you feel about having a child… here." At first, Alfred was silent; of course it was to be expected. Ivan almost thought he would have to speak again before Alfred exclaimed,

"Oh my gosh, are we adopting? This is going to be awesome!"

Well, he took that surprisingly well.

* * *

><p>Thus, the next two weeks were completely composed of Ivan buying all the things that a toddler would need and want for, and all their friends helping them prepare. From simple things like testing them on their preparedness…<p>

"Quick," Hidan shouted to the two, "Your child is running a fever of 106! What do you do?"

"Panic!" Alfred shouted.

"Take them to hospital!" Ivan answered. But Hidan shook his head, sighing,

"We have _so_ much more studying to do…"

* * *

><p>To helping with decorating the child's room…<p>

"Okay, so who are we decorating for?" Sasori asked, "A little girl or boy?" Alfred hummed,

"Um…"

"We do not know yet…" Ivan stated, Sasori's left eye twitching,

"Okay… Let's look at some gender-neutral colors then." The red-head pulled out a booklet of color swatches and began, "Okay, we have golds…"

"Nyet." Ivan immediately turned the color down.

"A nice assortment of pastel greens…"

"Ugh, I hate that color." Alfred frowned.

After a few hours of the two expecting parents not giving him any help with a decision at all, Sasori decided to keep the room white and do a red and blue trim.

* * *

><p>Finally, the day of the arrival finally came. The whole morning, Ivan and Alfred had been waiting anxiously for the Baba Yaga's younger sister to drop the child off. They were so nervous that Ivan had broken three coffee mugs and Alfred was having trouble controlling the pitch of his voice.<p>

So, when the doorbell rang and Alfred answered it, "GOOD MORNING! Please come in…" The young Baba Yaga with the long blonde hair and the cold, spiteful expressing glared at Alfred as she gently tugged someone in with her,

"Come along." Ivan and Alfred held their breath as a small boy with hair like snow and eyes that shifted color like the Aurora Borealis. He had a calm, serious expression on his face but his cute appearance all the more adorable. "This is Alexandr." Natalia began, "Alexandr, you're going to be staying with my precious, wonderful, honorable, amazing big brother who should have married _me_," She sighed, remembering her anger management exercises, "And his fat _wife_ Alfred."

"I don't like you." Alfred frowned at Natalia. But Ivan surpassed both of them and walked towards Alexandr.

"Welcome to our home little one." Alexandr was quiet as a ghost as he looked up, and up, and _up_ at Ivan: already amazed at how tall the Baba Yaga was. Okay, he could deal with Mr. Braginski –

"Hi there!" Alfred exclaimed as he kneeled down in front of the small Baba Yaga, "My name's Alfred, we're going to have _so_ much fun! Hide and seek, going to the beach, baking..!"

Scratch that, Alexandr thought, this might be harder than I thought.

* * *

><p>"Class," Iruka's voice rang out in his classroom at Adamant Falls Primary Academy the following Monday, "Today we have a new student joining us today!" The dolphin-demon allowed the murmurs of excitement and curiosity die down before he spoke, "Please be warm and welcoming to Alexandr Braginski!"<p>

The door opened, everyone gasping as the cool, collected boy walked to Iruka's side, "I want you all to be nice, we've all had our scary first days. Sweetie, you can take that free chair over there." Alexandr quietly walked over to the empty chair and brought out a piece of paper and a pen as Iruka began his lesson of the day.

However, not even twenty minutes later, trouble decided to rear its ugly head in the form of the twins Sakon and Ukon.

Alexandr had been taking notes on Iruka's arithmetic lesson when he felt something being thrown at his head. He chose to ignore it, writing down the current problem (something about Bob and Mary and their apples) when two more paper balls made contact with the back of his head.

He turned around with a growl, just to see the twins whistling innocently as if they hadn't done a thing in the world.

Alexandr huffed, trying to turn around and go back to work. But then the onslaught of paper balls continued.

* * *

><p>At recess, Alexandr sat alone on the swings: his foot making random designs in the dirt below. His quiet time was unfortunately interrupted when Sakon and Ukon walked over and started, "Hey, you live with Ivan huh?" Alexandr nodded.<p>

"So that makes you a freak," Ukon sneered before looking at Alexandr's bare hand, "And a no-talent!" The two stayed there to laugh in the small Baba Yaga's face. At least until Alexandr stood to his feet, punched Sakon in the cheek, and Ukon in the jaw.

* * *

><p>"Mr. and Mrs. Braginski?" Iruka asked as he walked into the lobby of the school. Before Alfred could say anything, Ivan stood,<p>

"Yes?"

"Please, come this way." The dolphin-demon gave a nervous smile before showing the two to his office.

* * *

><p>Outside, Alexandr had been told to wait on the bench near the school building as everyone else had been dismissed for the day. He was already starting to miss Ms. Katyusha and the orphanage. And he had only been defending himself against the two stupid children who had been trying to harass him.<p>

It was their own fault that…

"Hm?" He looked over and saw a group of children who had apparently stayed after school for some strange reason. They were trying to put a nest back into a tree, making a small pyramid out of their tiny bodies.

"Come on!" The girl with the long, green hair and orange eyes said, "We've almost got it!"

"Chakra Mark Musketeer Creature-Helpers! YAY!" They all cheered as they tried to give the cat-demon girl on top a few more inches… But they ended up falling all over themselves.

"I told you all we should have tried to find a ladder." The otter-demon boy said.

"What is it you are all doing?" The group looked up and saw the snowy-haired child looking at them. Kira stood to her feet and immediately introduced herself,

"Hi! My name's Kira and this is Ongakuhana, Kiro, Kire, Mizuki, Saso, and Hun! And we're," They all came together, "The Chakra-Mark Musketeers! YAY!" Alexandr raised an eyebrow, Kire speaking up,

"We're a group trying to find our chakra-marks! Well, two of us have them, but we won't stop until we all do!"

"And you look like you don't have a mark yet either!" Hun barked, "You should join us!" Alexandr couldn't even entertain the idea before Ivan's voice called out,

"Alexandr, come along. It is time to go home." The small Baba Yaga's whole form slumped a bit before he turned and walked towards Ivan's voice, not even saying good-bye.

* * *

><p>Back in the snowy mansion, Alexandr sat on the couch while Ivan and Alfred stood in front of him: the older calm, the younger fuming. "Alexandr," Ivan began, "Why were you getting into a fight with your classmates today?"<p>

"They were tormenting me." Alexandr replied simply, "How else was I to get them to stop?" Ivan gently clasped his hands together,

"Well, that is understandable; let me get started on dinner—"

"Hey, whoa! Hold it!" Alfred shouted, "You're not seriously going to let him off the hook like this, are you?"

"Why not?" Ivan said, already in the kitchen and getting a slab of meat from the freezer, "He was simply defending himself." Alfred could hardly believe his ears, Ivan was letting this go? Alexandr was about to walk off to his room when Alfred blocked him.

"Now listen here," The Trickster started, determination in his eyes, "I know those kids were making fun of you, but that gives you no right to start hitting on others!" Alexandr frowned and crawled through Alfred's legs, well on his way towards his room. But Alfred rushed over and snapped, "Damn it, would you listen to me?" That tore it. Alexandr looked up and straight into Alfred's blue eyes, screaming,

"Nyet! I do not have to listen to you! You are not a Baba Yaga, you are not Ms. Katyusha or Ms. Natalia, and you are not Mr. Ivan! Stop trying to be my mother and go away!" After that loud outburst, Alexandr rushed out of the main room and up the stairs.

When the boy had yelled, Ivan had almost cut his hand with the knife he was using; not expecting the outburst at all. He walked over to Alfred when he saw the blonde flinch upon hearing the upstairs door slam. "Shh…" Ivan rested a hand on the younger's trembling shoulder, "He is just upset. All will be better once he gets some rest…"

"What did I do wrong Ivan?" Alfred muttered quietly, "Kids back home love me, the kids in Adamant Falls love me, why can't I just get a smile from the boy who lives under the same roof as me?"

"Come now," The Baba Yaga pulled Alfred along, "You will help me make dinner and calm yourself down. Like I said before, all things will get better with time." Alfred sighed, taking a bowl of potatoes and a knife,

"I hope so."

* * *

><p>The next morning, Ivan had to get to the Weather Factory early (the forecast calling for him to work over-time in the Snow-sector) so Alfred was in charge of getting Alexandr to school…<p>

"So big guy, you ready for another exciting day of making friends and learning new things?" Alfred asked, putting on his best smile. But Alexandr frowned,

"Where is Mr. Ivan?"

"He had to go to work," Alfred sighed. This kid really wasn't giving him any slack. But he sighed and tried to be the adult in this (which was such a hard task), "But hey, if you're good today, we'll go out and get ice cream after school today, okay?" Alexandr rolled his eyes and walked to the school doors. "Great Sky-Mother, help me out here…" He whispered to the sky.

* * *

><p>To say that the first half of class that day was awkward wouldn't have done it justice. Orochimaru had heard what had happened and demanded that Sakon and Ukon be seated as far away from Alexandr as possible. So the whole first half of the day, Alexandr's desk had been moved closer to the window, away from the other children.<p>

When free-time rolled around (a bit of time for the children to explore and learn for themselves), Alexandr was still sitting by himself. But his ears twitched as he heard the cry of, "Chakra-Mark Musketeer Origami-Makers! YAY!". He turned and saw the children from yesterday, the so-called Chakra-Mark Musketeers, sitting at a table and struggling to turn small pieces of paper into items of worth (Saso being the only successful one with his origami cranes and scorpions and dolls).

Alexandr watched them for a while until Kira sensed him. Of course, Alexandr looked away, but Kira smiled and began to walk over. Once at Alexandr's desk, she said, "You're free to join us."

"…" Alexandr wondered if he could stay quiet, if she would go away. But when a red scarf was held out in front of him, he blinked,

"What is this?"

"It's the scarf of the Chakra-Mark Musketeers! We wear these anytime we go out on an adventure to find our special talents. You see…" Her smiled toned down a bit as she remembered, "I used to always be made fun of for not having a Chakra-Mark. But one day, Ongakuhana and the others came to my side. We decided that if we work as a group, we'll find our true callings in no time!"

Alexandr looked at the cat-demon across from him and then to his bare hands. For a long moment, he just wanted Kira to go back to her friends. But she didn't budge. So finally, he took the scarf, tied it around his neck and said, "Let's go." Kira giggled,

"Come on, it'll be fun!"

* * *

><p>At recess, Alexandr stood by and watched as the rest of the Musketeers tried to climb a tree and grab a beehive, cheering, "Chakra-Mark Musketeer Bee-keepers! YAY!"<p>

"The hive is going to fall…" Alexandr murmured. Just then, the hive fell from its branch, the whole group running back inside to flee the angry bees.

* * *

><p>Lunchtime slowly went by as the group of small ones tried their best to eat without agitating their stings. Alexandr was eating his simple meat-pie when he looked over and saw Kire, Kiro, and Kira's lunches. "Yes," Kire cheered, "Tempura and rice day! Mom's the best!" Mizuki walked over from buying his and Hun's lunches at the cafeteria counter, counting the change left over from the superfluous bit of lunch-money Kisame had given him. Saso and Ongakuhana both had bento-boxes hand-made by Zetsu (the plant-demon had gotten a bit carried away the previous night and gave them both to Ongakuhana).<p>

"I love Daddy so much," Ongakuhana hummed, "But sometimes, he's so silly!"

"At least he cooks edible food, ano sa." Saso drank from his juice box, "Either my dad will start a meal and forget about it in a bout of inspiration or my mother will make something too pretty to eat." The kids laughed, all except for Alexandr who quietly nibbled at his food.

Alfred had offered to make him a lunch that morning, but Alexandr ignored him and took what leftovers he could get from dinner the previous night.

"Oh," Kiro began, "Kira, you have to go help mom in the strawberry patch today. He wants to get them out of the ground before the Winter peaks." Kira nodded, the tail of the tempura sticking out of her mouth before she ate it up,

"Sure, no problem!"

What was this feeling deep inside his chest, Alexandr thought. It was like something heavy had taken hold of his chest every time one of the others mentioned their parents.

"Alexandr?" He blinked, looking up to see Kira asking him, "How are things at home? Ivan and Alfred were so excited to welcome you into their house, especially going through all of the testing that Mama put on them."

"They're fine…" Alexandr huffed, muttering, "They will be…" After he finished his lunch, he asked Mizuki while the others were discussing what they would do next. "When you… have made your parent unhappy, what do you do to apologize?" Mizuki blinked at the question. Then he replied,

"The baka-same seems to like it when I just follow his rules, even for a little bit. Maybe Alfred would like that." He then walked off to catch up with Hun, not allowing Alexandr the opportunity to ask how the other had known who he was talking about.

* * *

><p>The bells rang, the students rushing home for the day. But Alexandr calmly walked out, keeping a careful eye out for…<p>

"Hey! Alexandr!" He nodded when he saw Alfred waiting near the school-gate, waving his arms to get the young one's attention. When Alexandr had made it over, Alfred said, "So, did you still feel like getting ice cream or did you want to go straight home? We can do either, I just wanted to get a chance to know you better." Alexandr sighed, wondering if he could ever live with what he was about to do. But he stood his ground, looked up…

And gently took Alfred's hand.

"Eep!" Alfred yelped (manly, of course), "Hey buddy, you okay there?"

"I want this iced cream you spoke of." Alfred blinked at the sudden, non-hostile attitude but he soon nodded and began walking towards the center of town where _Swirl_ was located.

* * *

><p>"Here you go!" Tobi cheered as he delivered Alfred and Alexandr's orders, "One chocolate chip for Alexandr…" He set the waffle-cup with chocolate syrup, whipped-cream, cherries, and sprinkles all over two scoops of chocolate chip ice cream in front of Alexandr, "And one cookie-dough for Alfred, yay!" The glass bowl of cookie-dough ice cream covered in butterscotch, cherries, caramel chips, and pop rocks was set in front of the blonde. "You two enjoy yourselves!" After Tobi left, Alfred began to chow down on his ice cream, he had gotten a slight addiction to this stuff since coming to Adamant Falls.<p>

Alexandr took a bite.

He liked it.

Back at the orphanage, they never had things like this. It was cold, but sweet at the same time. Alexandr looked up at Alfred before asking, "What are you? You are not a Baba Yaga like me and Mr. Ivan…" Alfred wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, laughing,

"I'm a Trickster Spirit!"

"What is that?" Alexandr asked, Alfred stopping for a moment to think. How to explain something like that? Well, seeing was believing.

"Well, choose an animal and I'll show you!" Alexandr was confused for a bit, but he looked around until he saw a picture of a rabbit on a wall. He pointed to it, Alfred looking over and smiling before…

He was that exact rabbit. "See," He explained, still in rabbit-shape as he ate his ice cream, "I can transform into almost any animal as long as I've seen it once. That's a Trickster's talent." Alfred shifted back into normal form, smiling a bit at Alexandr's wide-eyed expression. The small one then pointed to his hand, the one bearing the eagle magic-mark. "Yeah, I can do an eagle too." To prove his point, Alfred shifted again, Alexandr taking it all in with silent awe.

After Alfred shifted back, Alexandr quietly requested, "Tell me about your home."

* * *

><p>The stars were twinkling in the sky as Alfred and Alexandr walked in through the door of the mansion, Alexandr listening to every word Alfred spoke, "And one time… Me and Dances in Snow almost got lost to the point that we had to sob and cry until Mom found us…"<p>

"Alfred." The blonde stopped talking, looking to see Ivan standing across the room, "It is late. I came home and saw no one waiting for me, I was almost in tears, da…" Alfred rolled his eyes, he knew the older was playing… Mostly. "But in all seriousness, Alexandr, it is far past your bed time. Have you eaten?"

"Da." The small one nodded, still clinging to Alfred's hand.

"I see," Ivan smiled a bit at the sight, "Well, it is time for you to wash up and get to bed." Alexandr nodded, walking over to Ivan and hugging the large demon's leg. But then he did something unexpected…

But in a good way.

He walked back to Alfred and gestured for the Trickster to lower his head down. "You need something?" Alexandr was quiet as he gently pressed his lips against Alfred's cheek and whispered,

"Good night.", before rushing upstairs.

"Um…" Alfred blinked, still in shock, "Did that just happen?" Ivan chuckled,

"What was I telling you? All good things in time, dorogoy…"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Aw... **

**Now I really want ice cream for some reason. Anyway, thanks again for reading. You all know how I love my feedback so... * nudge, nudge. wink, wink * **

**Oh, and... I'm _extremely_ sorry for this. I know you guys already do so much for me by reading and reviewing this fic. But I need some help. I'm writing a certain chapter for this story and I have completely forgotten if: **

**A. I gave Naruto a chakra-mark. **

**And B. If I did give him a chakra-mark, what was it? I am _so_ lost, I don't know what I wrote and I can't find it in any of my notes! If someone could help me out, that would be great... Please and thank you, your ditzy author, **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	47. Holly Eve Night

**A/N: Hey everyone... It's me, Lupina09 -**

**What the fuck did I just say? Oh my God, it's been a long day and my mind won't process that this _isn't_ YouTube... **

**Hey everyone, it's _Tyranno's girl_ updating after All Hallow's Eve after I just had to do a poetry presentation of 'Bohemian -fucking- Rhapsody'! **

**Anyway... I want to thank all of you who reviewed. You guys were _so_ awesome to try and help me... I almost wish that this wasn't another filler chapter. God, I feel like Kishimoto... **

**Fanfic cast - Blasphemy! **

**TG - Shut up. Anyway, this is filler only because with MLP: FiM, there was always _one_ problem that I had with the series: **

**Why does Winter come and go in less than a day? That sucks! And I'm sure there's a pony version of Christmas, so what the hell? **

**Anyway, that's what this chapter is. **

**Big thanks to: elric0sis, Waterbomb22, Alexa Hiwatari, Zetsu's Rose, izzy1229anime, and FMJ26. **

**Let's get reading...**

* * *

><p><em>Once a year, when the snowflakes fall from the earth to blanket the world below, the most beautiful plants grow from the ground. They are vibrant green, soft, with small red berries growing on them in clusters. This plant is called Holly and it grows from the ground on the night of Holly-Eve. <em>

_Around this time, it is not uncommon for loved ones and family members to give each other gifts to show each other how much they care. _

_But, in the cold, dark of Holly-Eve night, there is another fantastic event that takes place, _

_Riding in a red and gold carriage drawn by a white reindeer and a red unicorn, RedCoat travels the world: delivering gifts of joy to all the good creatures of this world. _

_But if you're bad, you get a slug made of coal under your pillow the next morn…_

"And every year, RedCoat prepares to make his rounds for the night when Holly springs forth from the earth." Iruka closed the book he was reading and looked around at his class, "Now, who's excited for Holly-Eve this year?" A few children piped up, but Iruka shook his head, "No, no shouting things out. I want each of you to draw a picture of why you're excited for this year's Holly-Eve. And you have all of free-time to do it."

* * *

><p>So all free-time, children were busy talking amongst themselves about the upcoming Holiday. But our favorite group of children was a bit mixed on the topic.<p>

"Does RedCoat still bring presents if we don't know what we want?" Kira asked as she colored a picture of a Holly sprout. "Because I've been thinking about it since the beginning of the year, there's nothing I really want."

"Well," Kire began, "I want a set of the coral-combs they sell in Adamant Sea City! I don't want to ask Dad though; he'll chastise me for wanting something so expensive…" He turned to Kiro, "What do you want?"

"A new calculator." Kiro replied, something that he had been hinting to all his family members _all_ year long ('So, have you noticed that my calculator's missing a button?', 'I think that my calculator should match my eyes, ne?', 'I could _really_ use a calculator to help me with my homework…').

Kire rolled his eyes before turning to Saso, "What about you?" Saso quietly took a piece of paper from his sleeve and unrolled it, revealing an ad for a beautiful porcelain doll with long, red hair,

"The new Princess Rose doll from Princess Lamiere's Doll Palace! I have her sisters Princess Lily and Princess Tulip along with her brother Prince Palm, but I need _her_ to complete their family!"

"You and your dolls!" Ongakuhana laughed, "I just want to go to a Konan Pacon concert… But I could never afford it…" As she sighed, she saw Hun scratching out something on a piece of paper, "What are you up to? A Holly-Eve list?"

"No!" Hun yelped, covering the paper up, "It's nothing!" Ongakuhana held up her hands in defense,

"Okay, sheesh." The only ones who had yet to speak were Mizuki and Alexandr and Kira addressed them both,

"Aren't you guys excited for Holly-Eve?"

"No, I'm worried." Mizuki crossed his arms. When he got a confused look, Alexandr explained,

"Think about it. This is just some stranger to finds some way into your house, even when the doors are locked. What kind of creature does such a thing?"

"And he knows _exactly_ what you want every year?" Mizuki looked at Kira's Holly picture, "He's obviously some sort of monster trying to trick us all with kindness!"

The group gasped, Kiro slamming a small fist against the table, "Darn it! It's so obvious!"

"What do we do?" Kira panicked, "I don't want anyone to get eaten!" Mizuki gestured for everyone to quiet down before he whispered,

"Calm down. We can't tell anyone about this, they'll just discourage us." They all nodded, "The plan is: tonight, after our parents all go to bed, we all sneak out and prepare a trap for this so called _RedCoat_. We'll capture him and expose him for the monster he is."

"Yeah!" Hun barked, all of them silently cheering,

"Chakra-Mark Musketeers Monster-Catchers! Yay!"

* * *

><p>Now, Holly-Eve wasn't for two more weeks, the children were actually in their last week of school before Winter Break. But demons all around still had shopping to do.<p>

Lots…

And lots…

Of shopping.

Every store from Adamant Falls to Luminescent Valley was full to the brim with demons doing their last minute shopping.

So, it was no wonder that in the Golden Bar Mall of Adamant Sea City, we could see Kisame, Kakuzu, Sasori, Sasuke, and Ivan walking around the stores and frantically thinking what they were going to get their lovers for Holly-Eve.

"Gobi's five tails, why can't shopping for an uke be like shopping for a child?" Kakuzu groaned, pulling at his hair, "I finished shopping for all _nineteen_ of my kids three months ago and I can't even find out what to get Hidan!"

Though he was the most frustrated, Kakuzu's feelings were the general feeling of the group. Money wasn't necessarily an issue but knowing what their special ones would like…

Just then, Kisame walked out from a stationary store and gladly announced, "And that makes 16."

"I know that I will regret asking," Kakuzu frowned, "But 16 _what_ exactly?" Kisame folded his arms, keeping a careful grip of his purchase,

"16 presents that I've gotten Itachi for Holly-Eve."

"What?" Sasori yelled, Ivan asking,

"Are you trying to make us look bad? Why sixteen?"

"Well, to tell you all the truth," Kisame began as he checked his wallet, "I have _no_ idea what Itachi might want. So every time I've gone out this month, I've picked up something nice for him. He has to like _one_ of my gift ideas, right?" The bluenette looked to his friends, "Right?"

'_Gods kill us now…'_ The others thought as they continued wracking their over-stressed minds for gift ideas.

* * *

><p>One week later…<p>

In GlazeFeather Boutique, Deidara sat on a stool: glaring at the door. "Damn it…" He gave an angry chirp, "Where is that _damn_ postman, un? When I ordered Danna's gift a month ago, they said it would be here in a week!"

He wasn't alone, Hidan, Tobi, Itachi, Naruto, and Alfred were sitting around the sitting room, magazines and ads spread all over the table: the result of panicking over gift ideas for some of them.

"I don't see what all the fuss is about…" Alfred hummed, sitting back with his hands behind his head, "I've been working on Ivan's gift for months now." Hearing that, Naruto frowned,

"Well for some of us, it's not that easy!" The Kitsune tossed the magazine in his hands away, "Itachi, you have to help me! What does someone like the Teme even _like_?"

"Adorable blonde Kitsunes…" Itachi muttered before speaking up, setting the catalogue he had to this lap, "Naruto, I'm pretty sure that anything _you_ get my brother will be fine." But then the weasel-demon sighed and thought out loud, "I have no idea what to get for Kisame though…" He blinked when he felt a hand at his shoulder. It turned out to be Tobi giving him a reassuring smile,

"You'll be fine Itachi. Holly-Eve is about the thought of a gift, not the content."

"Tobi…" Itachi whispered, in awe of the sheer wisdom that his cousin had just spoken…

"Cranberry-sauce!" Tobi chimed, completely out of the blue.

… And just shattered in the blink of an eye.

Just when Hidan was about to tell Deidara not to worry, the doorbell rang: the bird-demon rushing to open the door, revealing a postman. "Delivery for Azumoji Deidara!" Deidara signed for the package, grabbed it, and slammed the door, sighing in relief,

"About fricken time, un!"

* * *

><p>Even though a lot of focus went to the Holly and presents, the most special part of Holly-Eve was the family dinners on the night of the holiday.<p>

A family would get together all members before bringing out a small statue of the family's patron deity. Scented candles of red and green would be lit around it and a small offering a food given before the family, big or small, would partake of their holiday meals.

In Ivan's mansion, Alexandr sat, dressed in Holiday finest, as he watched Alfred light a red candle in front of a wood-carved statue of Amaterasu and recite, "Sky Mother up above, Amaterasu, who raises the sun up every day and warms the world." Ivan followed by lighting a red candle in front of a statue of Tsukuyomi,

"Father Lunokhod, Tsukuyomi, who is cooling the earth every evening…"

"The one-tailed raccoon," Alfred lit a candle in front of the remaining statue, "Who carved every grain of sand in every desert…"

* * *

><p>"The two-tailed cat," Hidan recited, holding his rosary in his hand as his as Kakuzu lit the candle, their children all sitting around their large dining table, "Granter of health and eternal rest…"<p>

* * *

><p>"The three-tailed shark," In Kisame's Estate, the bluenette lit a candle as Itachi, Sasuke (the two being invited over), and Naruto sat, "Master of the seven seas and waters."<p>

* * *

><p>Tobi was in Zetsu's cottage, the plant-demon behind him as Ongakuhana sat on the couch: dressed in a pretty Holly-Eve dress. The joy-demon lit a candle in front of a picture of Yonbi No Sokou, "The four-tailed serpent, the festive spirit of volcanos and the hearth…"<p>

* * *

><p>Back at Goldleaf Farms, Kakuzu had lit another candle and recited the words he had been since he started his farm, "May Gobi No Hokou continue to bless these lands as he has been for the past few years."<p>

* * *

><p>"Let's see if I can do this right…" Itachi cleared his throat before lighting the red candle in front of a picture of Rokubi, "He who creates the lightning of the skies, the six-tailed weasel…"<p>

* * *

><p>Inside of GlazeFeather Boutique, Saso asked his mother, "Can I light Shichibi's candle this year, ano sa?" Deidara shook his head,<p>

* * *

><p>"Not until you're older, un.", and then lit a candle near a photo of, "The keeper of magics and master of concoctions, the seven-tailed badger…"<p>

* * *

><p>Zetsu didn't opt for a statue or picture of his chief deity. Instead, he lit a strategically placed candle near a bonsai-tree shaped like, "Hachibi No Hachimata, tender to all things green in the world…"<p>

* * *

><p>Back at Kisame's, Naruto set up a candle and a small carving of the great fox-deity, "The warrior of fire," He recited, his voice holding a subdued awe, "Kyuubi No Kitsune."<p>

* * *

><p>Finally, Sasori lit one last candle in front of a framed picture of the deity who had taught him everything he knew, "The bearer of light, the ten-tailed dolphin…"<p>

* * *

><p>"These powerful deities who the gracious Amaterasu was so kind to share with us," Kisame recited as everyone in his house sat at the large table in the even larger formal dining room that <em>still<em> seemed empty with all of them in it, "As we sit here together on this Holly-Eve, we pray for the health and happiness of our friends and family. And now," Kisame smiled, "Since I forgot the rest of the words to that prayer, it's time to eat!"

"Finally!" Sasuke rolled his eyes, passing a bottle of wine: ignoring how Itachi and Naruto just shook their heads at the two bluenette's behaviors.

* * *

><p>In Adamant Falls, that town by the sea…<p>

All the demons were in bed, sleeping cozily…

"Hey, watch it!"

"Hand me that glue."

"Is there enough rope?"

"Put some more twine over there…"

Okay, you know what? Forget it! So much for my Holly-Eve tale…

"Are you sure this will work?" Kira asked, holding Ongakuhana's hand to alleviate the cold she was feeling (she was only in her nightgown). Mizuki looked at the trap they had set up and sighed, his breath making small clouds in the cold air,

"It has to. Otherwise RedCoat will keep breaking into our homes however he pleases…"

"So that settles it," Kiro nodded, "Now we just have to wait for the trap to work." They all agreed before rushing back to base…

Which happened to be a blanket and pillow fort behind some bushes.

* * *

><p>Let's see if I can get this story across without someone interrupting me and –<p>

"AI~!" The panicked screams of some poor soul echoed loud throughout all reaches of Adamant Falls, causing a few demons to rush out to see what was going on.

And, coincidentally, it was our favorite group of demons: most of them already wide awake looking for their children once they found them missing. "Musical flower?" Zetsu called out, worry on his face, "Where are you?"

"Alexandr!" Alfred shouted, "You are going to be in _so_ much trouble when I find you! I'll – Hey!"

"Kiro!" Hidan yelled as he shoved past Alfred, maternal-instinct going into overdrive, "Kire! Kira, where are you guys!" He rushed towards the center of town and was about to scream for them again when he stopped in his tracks and stared, whispering, "What the hell..?"

That proved to be the genuine accord as everyone saw the spectacle taking place. A slim, young man with short, butter-blonde hair and wide, frightened mauve eyes dressed in an outfit of red velvet and white fur was sobbing as he was suspended in the air by a complicated assortment of ropes, glue, and twine. He looked over, his short hair brushing against pointed ears, and sobbed, "Help me! Someone, please?" He winced in pain as someone pointed him with a stick.

It turned out to be Mizuki, stating, "Quiet you menace."

"Mizuki!" Kisame yelled, "What in the name of the seven oceans are you doing?" He was not seeing this; he was not seeing his son torturing the spirit of Holiday cheer and goodwill, was he? He blinked his eyes.

Okay, no he wasn't.

He was seeing his son _and_ his son's friends torturing the spirit of Holiday cheer and goodwill!

"Children!" Zetsu called out, "Let RedCoat go this instant!"

"But Daddy!" Ongakuhana cried. "If we let him go, he'll do all sorts of… Um…" She bit her lip as she thought for a second, "No good stuff!" RedCoat then cried,

"All I want to do is leave gifts for the good creatures of the world, that's it! Please let me go~!" Enough of the awkwardness was enough, Hidan decided as he narrowed his eyes and yelled,

"Kiro, Kire, Kira, Ongakuhana, Mizuki, Hun, Saso, Alexandr; get RedCoat out of that thing NOW!"

"Yes Mama." Kira meeped as they all began to undo the trap, RedCoat tumbling to the floor with a handful of cookies: what had lured him into the trap in the first place. The benevolent spirit brushed himself off and gave a nervous smile,

"Thank you all so much!" Itachi, still in a bit of shock, knelt down and asked the kids,

"What in the world possessed you to do such a thing to such a nice creature?"

"Well…" Mizuki looked away, blushing in embarrassment, "We thought that RedCoat was sneaking into town to do bad things. Why else could he get into locked houses without anyone noticing?"

"Bad things?" RedCoat gasped, "Me? Never!" He snapped his fingers, a bright sparkle appearing. He waited for a moment before jingling bells could be heard from the sky. Everyone gasped as a red and gold carriage drawn by a white reindeer and a red unicorn rode down from the night sky. RedCoat reached into the carriage and grabbed a red bag, his hand bearing a present-shaped mark, and stating, "My name is Tino by the way, and all I do is go around the world once a year and give presents to all on Holly-Eve! It's a family tradition, look!" He reached into the bag and pulled out a shiny pink package, "This is for little Kira Hoku…"

"Oh!" Kira blinked as the gift floated towards her.

"Kiro and Kire Hoku…" Two more presents floated into the two small stitch-demon's hands.

"Mizuki Hoshigaki…"

"For me?" The otter-demon whispered as his present came to him.

Tino named all the children, one by one, until they all had vibrant packages in their hands. Then he smiled, "I never meant any harm to anyone. And the only thing I ask for in return are cookies and milk… Which is probably why I got trapped in the first place…"

The children were all quiet, not believing that they had gotten so carried away in their imaginations. "We're sorry…" They all solemnly apologized. Tino smiled,

"Oh, it's okay. But look at the time," He took a peek at the golden watch on his wrist, "I've got to get going on the double to make up for all this lost time! Don't want all the other children to feel neglected!" The benevolent spirit hopped into his carriage and gave a snap of the reigns, the reindeer and unicorn immediately pulling the carriage as he waved, "Enjoy your Holly-Eve everyone~! Moi-moi!"

Even though it had started snowing again, our favorite group of creatures stayed to wave RedCoat off, shouting various bouts of thanks…

Suddenly, Hun's nose started twitching.

There was a familiar yet foreign smell beginning to emanate from the ground.

It began as a sprout.

Then it grew out of the piles of snow and snow-banks as small groupings of leaves and red berries. "Guys, look!" Naruto shouted, falling to his knees to look at the growing plant, "The Holly's sprouted!"

When he announced it, all of the denizens of Adamant Falls began to walk out of their homes to see the beautiful, annual event. All except for Tobi and Alfred who shouted and cried, "Hey!"

"Where are _our_ presents?", into the air (though Tino had gone already). Everyone in the vicinity couldn't help but laugh at that; Ivan walking over and petting Alfred on the head,

"Silly Alfred, RedCoat doesn't give gifts to adults!"

"Oh man!"

* * *

><p>Don't worry Alfred. Even though RedCoat didn't give you a present, you'll still get a gift. In fact, all of your friends will!<p>

* * *

><p>The next morning, after breakfast had been eaten and everything settled down (dear God, I do not envy Kakuzu and Hidan in the least concerning <em>that<em> aspect), the time had come to open presents.

"Let's see…" Kira hummed as she gently removed the pretty wrapping paper from her gift and folded it up before opening the box to reveal a set of ruby and pearl bracelets and barrettes, along with a note that read,

'Dear Kira,

Next year, try to make sure to tell me what you want ahead of time, okay?

From,

RedCoat'

"Oh wow!" Kira mewed in awe, trying on her new barrettes, "And there are enough here that I can share with Ongakuhana!" Kiro and Kire ripped open their packages and exclaimed,

"My new calculator!"

"My combs and brushes!", respectively when they pulled out the items that they had been pining for all year."

Kakuzu smiled as he sat on the couch and watched his kids open their presents. It was times like this that made him feel as though all was right in his life and –

"Here bastard." He blinked as Hidan shoved a box into his hands. Kakuzu smiled, opening the box and pulling out a glass bottle of a red and white chemical, the colors not mixing for whatever reason. "That's a special type of birth-control for cat-demons," Hidan explained. Kakuzu blinked at the bottle for a moment before it finally clicked in his head.

"So I can..."

"Mm-hm." Hidan frowned.

"Inside..?"

"Yep."

"As much as I want as long as you take this stuff?" Hidan rolled his eyes at his husband's behavior. But he had a soft smile on his face as he punched the brunette in the shoulder,

"The second it runs out, you better get used to pulling out again though." Kakuzu tried, he really tried, but he couldn't stop the lewd smirk that was growing on his face. So he tried to divert his attention by handing his wife a large, long box. "The fuck is..?" Hidan shut himself up and ripped open the box and shouted with a smile, "A new scythe! And, what's this?" There was a knob on the handle that, when he pressed it, caused two more blades to swing out, "Oh… my… Jashin… This is fucking AWESOME!"

"Thank the gods for that response…" Kakuzu muttered as Hidan kissed his cheek and rushed outside to try out his gift.

* * *

><p>In Zetsu's cottage, Ongakuhana opened up her present and practically screamed (nearly shocking Zetsu out of his skin) before jumping up and laughing, "KONAN PACON TICKETS~!", before rushing around the small house in her excitement.<p>

Tobi was still pouting about not getting a present from RedCoat, but he immediately cheered up as he saw Zetsu holding a present out to him. "Ooh!" He took and began unwrapping it, "What is it? What is it?" When he finally opened it up, he cooed, "Aw, Zetsu-san!" He picked up a pink lizard, the same species as Chewy, and smiled, "I'll call you… Spiny!" He set Spiny next to Chewy, the two circling each other before he gave Zetsu a cylindrical present.

"What's this?" Zetsu asked, pulling out a pan-flute.

"Since you like animals so much," Tobi began, "You'll like that! Music from pan-flutes always attract animals!" Zetsu smiled, pecking Tobi on the lips in silent thanks.

* * *

><p>"Well then," Saso began with a smile as he sat in his room at a small tea-party, his favorite family of dolls welcoming their long-lost sibling, "Princess Rose, we welcome you home and thank RedCoat for bringing you to us."<p>

Upstairs, Sasori's present to Deidara of new, swan-down sheets (he had dropped so many hints) were being put to use as Deidara was showing off his gift to Sasori: the risqué burlesque outfit done up in blue feathers and red gems doing _all_ sorts of wonderful things to Sasori's imagination…

* * *

><p>In the Yonko Forests, specifically the courtyard of Ivan's mansion, you could see Alexandr playing with his present: a bear cub that he had decided to name Boris. But inside the mansion…<p>

"So, I heard you like sunflowers..." Alfred began as he led Ivan down into the basement. The Baba Yaga nodded, trying to use his ears to listen for what his little wife had planned,

"Da... Such beautiful flowers, I only wish the ones I buy in town would not die so quickly when I bring them home." Alfred listened to his husband's wistful voice, smiling as they reached the bottom of the staircase.

"Now stay there big guy," Alfred told Ivan as he walked a few feet away. He gave a few seconds for dramatic effect before saying, "Okay, take off the blindfold!" Ivan all but ripped off the cloth covering. And when he did, his lavender eyes widened in disbelief. In front of him, on the floor, surrounded by a small fence, was a patch of thriving, golden sunflowers: all pointing their dark eyes right at Ivan.

"…" The Baba Yaga was speechless, kneeling down and caressing the flowers' petals in awe. But Alfred was jumping around, asking,

"You like 'em? You like 'em, right? Come on, tell me! I worked hard on this so –" He was cut off by Ivan kissing him deeply on the lips for a solid minute before pulling away and whispering,

"You are beautiful dorogoy… From your appearance to your heart... Thank you for this wonderful gift…" He looked at his feet, "I am only wishing my present was as spectacular…" Alfred shook his head,

"I'm sure whatever it is will be fine big guy." Ivan slowly nodded before reaching into his pocket and pulling out an envelope. Alfred blinked for a moment, confused, until Ivan explained,

"One of benefits of working in the Weather Factory is the unrivaled postal system. I sent out a few letters asking of your brother's whereabouts and, well…" Alfred took the envelope and sat down, almost in shock.

The address and everything on the outside of the envelope was written in Trickster language, so this letter could only come from… "Dances in Snow…" He whispered before tearing the letter open and reading it feverishly. He smiled, his baby brother was so timid, even in writing, but the effect of the letter was still the same…

When Alfred had read the letter twice, he folded it back up and put it in the envelope before a tear that dropped from his eye could ruin it. "Thanks Ivan…" He turned to the Baba Yaga, "I mean it. Thank you."

* * *

><p>Mizuki had just finished unwrapping his present, an empty book and set of calligraphy brushes. He'd wanted them so Itachi could keep together all the stories he made up especially for Mizuki without losing track. He was about to show Itachi his gift when there was a knock at the door.<p>

"Hello?" He called out before opening it, getting an armful of wet hell-dog. "Hun? What are you doing here?" Hun barked, readjusting the simple aquamarine-collar he had on before standing up,

"Here to give you your Holly-Eve present!" He smiled, "What I wished RedCoat to give me was an idea of what to give you and…" He spread his arms, "Ta-da!"

Mizuki raised an eyebrow.

"I'm your present!" Hun stated, "What could be better than having a hell-dog as your best friend and roomie?" Mizuki shook his head,

"Baka…" And just as Hun thought that this might have been a bad idea, Mizuki called back, "What are you waiting for? If you're going to be staying here, you need to have a tour." Hun happily barked and went to follow Mizuki through the estate.

In the sitting room, however, Itachi had a blush of embarrassment all the way down to his neck as he looked at all the gifts that Kisame had set out for him, "Why did you get so many?"

"Covering all my bases?" Kisame admitted in all honesty. Itachi shook his head and sat down, taking one of the presents and beginning to unwrap it…

By the end of the day, Uchiha Itachi had received: a new stationary-set, a scarlet and black kimono, a new bathrobe, a trip to the spa for five, five books that he had been desperately trying to find for his personal collection, a new coat, two _very _nice pairs of shoes, a set of coral combs and brushes, an albatross feather-down quilt, an aromatherapy candle-set, a box of gourmet chocolates, and other presents that I'm too lazy to list. Itachi's face was glowing in a blush as he asked, again, "Why did you get so many?"

Kisame only chuckled before he stood up and stretched his body out, yawning, "I need coffee; you want any?"

"Please." Itachi nodded, the shark-demon walking to the kitchen. Meanwhile, Sasuke was dozing on the couch when his ears twitched. He sat up and saw Naruto standing above him and holding a small, potted tomato-plant with a ribbon tied around it.

"Um, I wasn't sure what to get you..." Naruto began before looking away, a blush that rivaled the tomatoes bright on his face, "But I heard you say that you liked tomatoes once, so... I'm sorry for such a stupid gift!"

"It's not stupid at all!" Sasuke insisted, standing and taking an envelope from his pocket, "If anything, _my_ gift is the stupid one." Naruto smiled,

"I'll be the judge of that.", Taking the envelope and unwrapping it. As soon as he saw the contents, his eyes widened and he practically glomped Sasuke back down to the couch: the certificate for 3 months of dinners at _Ichiraku_ (Konoha's fanciest ramen house) fluttering to the ground.

"Okay," Kisame called out, holding a tray of steaming cups, "I have chocolate for the kids and coffee for the adults here; it's hot, don't bump me…" The bluenette let out a huge sigh of relief when he finally set the tray upon the coffee table. However, when he did, he saw the slim, square-shaped present addressed to him on the table. "What's this?" He carefully unwrapped it and saw a music-disk encased in a glass-box.

"I didn't know what else to get you…" Itachi quietly stated, "And I saw how much you liked Lord Sanbi's music when we were in Adamant Sea City."

"Lord Sanbi… Never records his music…" Kisame was still in a bit of shock as Itachi explained,

"I asked Rokubi-sama for a favor and, apparently, Lord Sanbi made an exception this one time and—"

"This is freaking awesome!" Kisame shouted in sheer enthusiasm, unknowingly interrupting Itachi as he looked around, "Where's my music-system? I _have_ to play this!" As Kisame went to play his gift, Itachi sighed,

"Thank goodness that's over…" And popped one of the chocolates into his mouth before opening the stationery-set and beginning,

"Dear Rokubi-sama,

First and foremost, Happy Holly-Eve! I hope that this day finds you and your beloved ones happy and well. Secondly, I wanted to tell you that my first Holly-Eve away from home turned out to be far better than I could have ever imagined. But, most importantly…" He stopped for a moment, watching Kisame trying to get Mizuki and Hun to dance. Then he smiled.

* * *

><p>"'Thank you <em>so<em> much for the gift idea'," Rokubi read out as he sat in the palace dining hall, waiting for breakfast, "Even when my mind is frazzled, you always have such a calming presence to you that makes everything better. Here's with best wishes until my next letter,

Uchiha Itachi.'" Rokubi couldn't help but chuckle at his student's experiences. He was so happy that Itachi was finally _really_ experiencing life instead of reading it from a book and –

His cup of tea was knocked over onto Itachi's letter by a stray ball. "SANBI!" He growled, his husband calling back,

"Sorry! That was Yonbi's fault!"

"Was not!" The serpent-deity's voice called back.

Rokubi only shook his head, turning towards the window to watch the snow drifting outside of the palace. "It's almost Spring already?" He asked before he smiled at the aspect of seeing Itachi again.


	48. Winter WrapUp Part 1

**A/N: Here's a chapter that I _know_ people have been waiting for... And I'm more than sure I butchered it.**

* * *

><p>It was a calm, quiet night in the Adamant Falls Library, a few days after Holly-Eve. Sasuke was fast asleep in his room, visions of Kitsunes in adorable paw-print pajamas in his mind. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Sasuke's room door was slammed open, Itachi rushing in and shouting, "Sasuke! Sasuke, wake up! Wake up, wake up, it's Winter Wrap-Up Day!"<p>

"Huh, what? Mommy?" Sasuke shot up from bed to see Itachi looking down at him excitedly,

"Winter Wrap-Up?"

"You're not Mommy…" Sasuke frowned, slumping back into bed.

"Damn it Sasuke!" Itachi turned all the lights on and rushed downstairs, "The first day of Spring is tomorrow!" He took down a picture of a winter landscape and replaced it with a cherry blossom tree in bloom. "So every demon in Adamant Falls needs to clean up Winter." Then Itachi moved over to a table where he had prepared all of his Winter Wrap-Up Gear…

Six months earlier.

He put on a pair of boots, gloves, and a scarf before calling out, "Sasuke, let's get ready!"

"Clean up Winter?" Sasuke huffed, "Who in their right mind cleans up Winter? Don't the Ten Celestials just change the seasons with magic like they do in Konoha?"

"No Sasuke," Itachi explained as he quickly wrote up a checklist, "Adamant Falls was started by elemental demons and it was too far out of the way for the Celestials to come to. Besides, it's tradition!"

"It's idiotic…" Sasuke groaned, shoving his pillow onto his face. Itachi rolled his eyes,

"Weren't you signed up for this year's activities?"

"Doesn't mean I want to go."

"Oh Sasuke…" Itachi shook his head before grabbing a coat and then reading his list, "Okay, let's see: boots, check, gloves, check, scarf, check, coat, check, Sasuke being a stubborn ass about getting out of bed, check." He chuckled as he walked out the door, "It's good to be organized because I am ready, let's go clean up Winter!" He trailed off when he saw it was still night time. "Oh, maybe I'm a bit early…"

* * *

><p>The next morning found Itachi rushing over to the center of town where everyone else had already gathered for the opening ceremonies of Winter Wrap-Up Day; the weasel-demon tugging Sasuke along, the young dragon dressed in a blue sweat-suit. "The velvet sweat-suits that Sasori designed look amazing! Blue for Weather, Green for Plants and Agriculture, and Tan for Animal Care. I wonder what suit <em>I'll <em>get."

"These would make awesome pajamas…" Sasuke yawned. Itachi ignored him and soon they were at the center of town where Mayor Tsunade was giving a wonderful speech to the citizens of the town,

"Thank you all for coming here bright and early. We'll need everyone's help to wrap up Winter and bring in Spring!" Everyone cheered, except for Sasuke when he saw that Naruto had been given a tan sweat-suit,

"Sasori, you lying son of a-!"

"All of you have your suits and team colors," Tsunade went on, "So let's do even _better_ than last year and make this year's Winter Wrap-Up the best ever!" Everyone cheered, Itachi commenting,

"Oh, this is so exciting!"

"Alright everyone, find your team leader," Tsunade pointing over to where Kisame, Kakuzu, and Zetsu were standing in blue, green, and tan jumpsuits with large stars on the back, "And let's get started!" Everyone, child and adult alike, immediately went to find their team and group leaders, Sasuke going to the weather team albeit grudgingly. But Itachi was being left by himself,

"Wait a minute," He tried to ask someone, "I didn't get a suit. Where am I supposed to go?" He saw Sasori, Deidara, and Saso going towards the Animal-Care team. "I don't know where I'd fit in…" Then he saw Kisame, Ivan, Alfred, and Sasuke joining up for Weather. Then the Plant and Agriculture team gathered around Kakuzu and Hidan. But Itachi could only bite his lip, "What does everyone do?"

* * *

><p>In a dark, echoing space, a spotlight shined down, Kisame walking forth and singing,<p>

"_Three months of winter coolness, and awesome holidays!"_ Another beam of light shot down, Tobi bouncing over in a blue jumpsuit,

"_We've kept our loved ones warm at home, time off from work to play!"_

"_But the food we've stored is running out,"_ Kakuzu added, _"And we can't grow in this cold…"_

"_And even though I love my boots, this fashion's getting old…"_ Sasori gave a sad smile at his boots as the darkness dissipated.

* * *

><p>Itachi was quickly walking down the snowy paths around town, singing to himself,<p>

"_The time has come to welcome Spring, and all things warm and green. _

_But it's also time to say goodbye; it's Winter we must clean. _

_How can I help - I'm new you see, what does every demon do? _

_How do I fit in without magic, I haven't got a clue~!"_

Across the way, Sasori and Zetsu caught up with the young time-lord Kisame had met in Adamant Sea City (who apparently had a flat here in Adamant Falls), the quirky male wearing a green sweat-suit,

"_Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up! _

_Let's finish our holiday cheer! _

_Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up!"_

* * *

><p>"<em>'Cause tomorrow, spring is here,"<em> Kakuzu sang as he had just found a shovel, but when Alfred rushed by in eagle-form, the Trickster laughed,

"_'Cause tomorrow spring is here!"_ With a few more flying demons, Alfred was guiding a group of birds into the town's airspace, "_Bringing home the southern birds, a Trickster's job begins!"_

"_And clearing all the gloomy skies,"_ Sasuke sang in dragon-form as he and a few more demons cut apart the clouds,_ "And let the sun shine in!"_ On the ground, Ivan swept snow-bank after snow-bank away,

"_We move the clouds and we melt the white snow…"_ Kisame converted some of the clouds that had been brought closer to him back into water, smiling as the sun started to break through, shining down on Itachi over on the beach,

"_When the sun comes up, it's warmth and beauty will glow~!"_

* * *

><p>"<em>Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up! <em>

_Let's finish our holiday cheer!"_ Saso was helping Deidara carry baskets of next-making materials and decorative items.

"_Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up! _

_'Cause tomorrow spring is here…",_ Sasori smiled as he dumped all of the materials on the crafting desk. Naruto was busy gathering more materials for nests with a few others, who all sang,

"_Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up! _

_'Cause tomorrow, spring is here, _

_'Cause tomorrow spring is here!"_

* * *

><p>In the snowy forests surrounding the town, the major part of the Animal-Care Team was already ringing bells in front of the various animal burrows. Iruka was helping a family of mice, singing,<p>

"_Little critters hibernate, under the snow and ice."_

"_We wake up all the sleepyheads, so quietly and nice!"_ Zetsu sang as he picked up a newborn rabbit.

"_We help them gather up their food; fix their homes below…"_ Hun barked as he pushed a basket of food over and started to clean the outside of a burrow.

"_We welcome back the southern birds,"_ Zetsu sang as a flock of colorful birds flew around Itachi as the weasel-demon walked by,_ "So their families can grow~!"_

* * *

><p>"<em>Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up! <em>

_Let's finish our holiday cheer!"_ A group of female demons holding baskets of woodland creatures sang.

"_Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up! _

_'Cause tomorrow spring is here!"_ A bunch of male demons that were helping clear out the snow added.

"_Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up! _

_'Cause tomorrow, spring is here!"_ Itachi had walked past where the snow was being cleared from the trees when he found himself covered in it, glaring up at Alfred who smiled and sang,

"_'Cause tomorrow spring is here!"_

* * *

><p>Goldleaf Farms probably had the most work to do out of every place in town, Kakuzu looking over his team and his kids pull and push plows through the thick blankets of snow covering the farmland.<p>

"_No easy task to clear the ground, plant the tiny seeds…"_ He buried a few in a plot of soft soil, _"With proper care and sunshine; everyone it feeds." _

Down in the fields, Hidan was organizing seeds and singing,

"_Apples, carrots, celery stalks... Wheat and rices too!"_ He knelt down near his young triplets and nodded,

"_We must work so very hard, it's just so much to do!"_

* * *

><p>"<em>Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up! <em>

_Let's finish our holiday cheer!"_ The remainder of the Chakra-Mark Musketeers who were in charge of sprinkling salt over the snow to make it easier to move sang.

"_Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up! _

_'Cause tomorrow spring is here!"_ Those were the demons de-icing the buildings of Adamant Falls.

"_Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up! _

_'Cause tomorrow, spring is here!"_ Tobi sang as he skated across a frozen lake, the other skaters chiming,

"_'Cause tomorrow spring is here!"_

* * *

><p>"<em>Now that I know what they all do, I have to find my place…"<em> Itachi sang as he walked down a secluded path,

"_And help with all of my heart, tough task ahead I face."_ He climbed up and up and up a steep, snowy hill,

"_How will I do without magic; help the Earth demon way? _

_I wanna belong so I must, do my best today, _

_Do my best today~!"_ Two flying demons spiraled up into the air, another group singing,

"_Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up! _

_Let's finish our holiday cheer!"_

"_Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up! _

_'Cause tomorrow spring is here!"_ Kisame and the Weather team sang.

"_Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up!" _

"_'Cause tomorrow, spring is here!"_ Itachi sang,

"_'Cause tomorrow, spring is here! _

_'Cause tomorrow spring is here~!"_ But his enthusiasm faded as everyone went back to their own tasks, leaving him alone once more.

* * *

><p>"Everyone belongs to a team, a group," He whispered to himself, "What should I do? Where do I go?" There was a large splash of water, causing Itachi to walk over to a nearby cove where Kisame was directing the next group of Weather team members (and Sasuke) to another cloudy area before shouting out,<p>

"I need a team to head out into southern airspace to retrieve the largest fraction of the summer birds!"

"Kisame!" The shark demon looked up and saw Itachi looking down at him from on top of the cove wall.

"Itachi, how are you?"

"Fine, but how's everything here?"

"I can't complain…" Kisame shrugged. But then Itachi asked,

"Do you need any help here? I can help find those birds or…"

"Kisame!" That came from Ivan, the Baba Yaga rushing over and panting, "The head of the waterfall is frozen over and deflecting water-flow."

"Damn…" Kisame gritted his teeth, turning to Itachi, "I'd love to stay and talk but I have to get back to work. See you later?"

"Of course…" Itachi smiled, Kisame rushing off with Ivan. When they were gone, the smile vanished, "Winter needs to be wrapped up and I _need_ to do my part! Somehow…"

* * *

><p>In front of Sasori and Deidara's house, the scorpion-demon was busy crafting an insect-nest out of crystal and other elements while Deidara was making a bird's nest from straw and ribbons. "Sasori, Deidara!" The two looked up from their work to see Itachi walking over. But Deidara blinked at the weasel-demon's appearance.<p>

"Itachi, didn't you get a suit?"

"Well…" Itachi nervously chuckled, the blonde immediately snapping at Sasori,

"See, I told you that you forgot Itachi's, un!" Itachi shook his head,

"It's alright. But is there anything here I can help you with?" Sasori nodded,

"You can help make some of Adamant Falls' finest bird and insect nests!"

"Nests?" Itachi blinked, Deidara adding on,

"When the Weather team brings the birds back and the insects get out of their burrows for Spring, they'll need places to live and lay their eggs, un!"

"Oh…" Itachi looked at the nests that the couple had made already, "They look beautiful." Sasori smiled and gave Itachi some hay and ribbons,

"Would you like to try your hand at it?" The brunette immediately replied,

"Yes! Where do I start?" He took a handful of hay, ribbons, and sticks and set them out in an organized grid. Then Deidara instructed,

"Now, take some hay and a bit of ribbon…" He frowned as Itachi began working, Sasori interjecting,

"And just form it like so and – Okay…"

"Tuck it in over there…" Deidara whined.

"I guess that would do…" Sasori winced as Itachi set his work down on the table,

"There! It looks…" The weasel-demon frowned at his pile of mush, "Nothing like yours…"

"Now Itachi…" Deidara spoke in a calm, reassuring voice, "It's just fine."

"But allow me to make a change here…" Sasori began, picking at the nest, Deidara joining in,

"And put that over there…"

Itachi sighed, walking away as the two fashionistos were soon in the zone, as it was, with the nest.

* * *

><p>Itachi wandered around Adamant Falls, seeing everyone hard at work. He wanted <em>so<em> hard to help out, but nothing he saw seemed suited to his talents. He stopped his walk at a large lake, a voice calling out "Hello Itachi!" He looked over and saw Tobi skating across the ice, spinning, twirling, and making random lines and designs.

"Tobi, I never knew you could skate." Itachi commented as Tobi skated over,

"Mm-hm! Tobi's been doing this since Tobi was an itty-bitty ball of joy! Just comes naturally!" He skated another straight line across the lake, "Which is probably why Tobi was made head lake-scorer! Tobi's group helps cut lines in the ice so when it melts, it will break apart faster!"

"That's actually genius!" Itachi muttered, "But you look like you'll have your work ahead of you, with all the lakes and ponds in Adamant Falls…"

"Ugh! Tell Tobi about it!" Tobi whined as he slid over, "Hey, do you want to give Tobi a hand?"

"Sure!"

"Great!" Tobi beamed, "Grab those skates over there and come on!"

* * *

><p>"On second thought…" Itachi had put the skates on and was trying to get on the ice with shaky, unbalanced legs. He actually slipped and fell on his butt as Tobi happily skated by. "No! I am going to help here even if it <em>kills<em> me!" He took a deep breath before pushing against the snow bank, immediately losing control of his movements.

"Itachi, wait!" Tobi cried, trying to catch up to his cousin, "Steer! _Steer!_" But when Itachi managed to turn around just to lose control again as he sped towards Tobi, "Not _this_ way!"

Itachi crashed into Tobi, both demons slipping and sliding until they fell into a snow-bank. Itachi groaned in pain as he tried to regain his balance, Tobi dizzily stating, "Itachi… You're a natural…" The joy-demon shook his head, getting his mind straight as he commented, "You know who could use your help? Zetsu-san! He's helping to wake up the sleeping animals!"

"Okay…" Itachi tried kicking off his skates, "I'll go help him…"

* * *

><p>The brunette walked into the forests, eyes going wide at all the burrows and snowy trees. Zetsu currently had his head in a small burrow, gently speaking, "Time to wake up Mr. and Mrs. Spine. I hope you had some lovely dreams, but Spring is almost here." He removed his head, two hedgehogs yawning as they crawled out.<p>

"How… cute." Itachi whispered, Zetsu nodding,

"This is my favorite time of the year, seeing all of the animal friends again just fills me with so much joy." The plant-demon walked over to a new burrow and rang a bell, calling out, "Mr. and Mrs. Thorn? It's time to wake up…" When he moved away, two porcupines walked out and hugged each other… immediately recoiling from each other's spikes. Zetsu looked around, sighing, "All these dens and burrows, I wonder if I'll be able to wake everyone up in time…"

"Well, I'll help you out." Itachi offered, Zetsu gasping,

"You will? Oh, thank you!" He handed Itachi his bell and went off to do some more work. Itachi looked around before deciding to start on one of the western burrows. He knelt down and rang the bell, calling out,

"Wake up! Spring is here and you don't want to miss it!" He sat back on his heels, wondering, "What little, furry creature have I awoken?" A few minutes later, he would get his answer…

Zetsu was helping Naruto with a family of beavers when Itachi rushed by being chased by a group of "SNAKES!" He was screaming as he rushed into another cavern, yelling "BATS!" as he was chased out of there by cranky bats. As he ran away, the animals chasing him, Zetsu called over,

"Does this mean that you're done helping?"


	49. Winter WrapUp Part 2

Kakuzu's eldest sons groaned as they pushed a plow throw the thick snow at Goldleaf Farms. Kakuzu was over-seeing the snow-clearing, calling out, "I know it's hard, but you guys are doing great! Keep it up!" Itachi walked past where Kakuzu and Hidan's daughters were packing snow into wagons to be carried off. He called to the stitch-demon,

"Kakuzu!"

"Oh, Itachi, surprised to see you here." Kakuzu wiped his forehead, Itachi asking,

"How is everything over here?"

"Slow at first," Kakuzu looked around, "But we can get things done. Hidan's organizing the seeds but we can't even start planting until the snow's cleared out." The weasel-demon's ears perked up, immediately asking,

"Can I help out?"

"Um…" Kakuzu looked the delicate demon up and down, "I don't know if we can use someone like you—"

"KAKUZU!" Hidan's voice shouted from across the way, "I hope you aren't denying help, there's too much fucking snow here for that!" Kakuzu sighed, Itachi immediately walking over to a plow.

"Okay," Itachi whispered to himself, "Surely you've read something on farm-work before…" He took the two handles and tried pushing forward, just to slip and fall. Kakuzu was about to say something, Itachi snapping, "That was a warm-up!" So he tried again… And failed, "Practice!" He tried again… And failed again, "I'm getting there!"

After a few more tries, he leaned over the plow in an over-exhausted heap. In the corner of his eye, he could see Kakuzu shaking his head. At that moment, he had a bit of an idea. "Maybe… a movement spell? Just a small one…" He looked around to make sure no one was watching before he snapped his fingers, the plow beginning to move. Itachi quickly grabbed the handles, to keep up the illusion, and followed the plow as it cut a clean path through the snow.

"Wow…" Kira, who was helping to uncover the potato-patch, "Look at Itachi go!" Hidan looked over and quirked an eyebrow,

"Awful lot of strength for someone who works in a library…" Things seemed to be going right for Itachi at last…

At least until he made a sharp turn. The plow started going faster and faster, despite Itachi's pleas for it to slow down. It sped up, forming a large snowball.

"Oh dear Jashin!" Hidan yowled just before the snowball smacked into him, then Kakuzu, carrying the both of them.

"What the hell's going on?" Kakuzu yelled, but Hidan knew all too well,

"Itachi, _why_ did you use magic?"

Soon, however, the snow-mass and the plow crashed into a snow-bank, spreading waves of snow onto all the areas that had already been cleared. Everyone groaned when the commotion stopped, Kakuzu standing up and roaring in rage, "Itachi! We don't do things like that here! What kind of example are you setting for these kids? Using magic…" Itachi couldn't take it anymore, all day long he had been trying to help out to the best of his ability. But he just kept _ruining_ things.

"Sorry for coming here." He whispered, bowing his head; a tear dropping from his left eye before he disappeared in a red sparkle of light.

* * *

><p>Itachi had locked himself up in his room at the library, determined to stay out of everyone's way until Winter had been cleaned up. "Look at me," He said to himself; looking at his hands, "I'm a Winter <em>Mess<em>-up. I don't even have a sweat-suit; I should have just stayed home in the first place…"

"Kisame!" Itachi blinked when he heard Kakuzu's voice calling for his boyfriend, so he went to the window and looked outside to see the stitch-demon tell Kisame, "You need to tell the Weather team to melt the rest of the snow and release the hot-water supply so the grounds can be cleared!"

"Okay, stop yelling." Kisame was about to rush off, but Zetsu stopped him, saying,

"You can't! If you do that, all the animals that are still sleeping will drown!"

"Okay…" Kisame walked back, Kakuzu gritting out,

"Kisame, melt the damn snow already—"

"No, you have to wait!" Zetsu interrupted him. But Kisame and his team simply frowned, waiting for someone to make up their mind.

"Would all of you make up your minds?" Alfred screeched, still in eagle-form. Ivan agreed,

"We have been at this _all_ day! You all are not making it any easier!" Just then, Tsunade started walking over, yelling,

"Stop, stop, stop! This is why we can never get Spring in on time! Gods, we're going to be late again just like last year and the year before that, and the year before that, _and_ the year before that!" She groaned, "And I'm going to lose money to Jiraiya for losing a bet on how fast we can get Winter cleaned up _again_!"

Itachi was shocked, to say the least, "Late?" Tsunade looked around, groaning,

"No matter what I do, something always goes wrong! Look at this mess!" She looked over to the lakes, Tobi having a sad expression on his face as his team desperately tried to cut the large pieces floating in the ice, "The ice-scorers made the chunks too big to melt! The nest-designers are horribly behind! This year called for 1,000 nests and they've only made two!"

Sasori was sobbing his failure out on the table, Deidara and Saso trying to console him. Tsunade glared at all of the citizens, "And don't even get me started on all the clouds still in the sky, icicles still in the trees, AGH! This isn't good!"

"And it's going to be even worse," Hidan walked up, wiping snow and dirt from his hands, "If we can't get the new year's seeds planted!"

"Look," Kisame said in his most diplomatic voice, "We are trying our best to get the weather conditions right as fast as possible—"

"No!" Zetsu shook his head, "You have to wake animals _slowly_!" While the adults were talking, the Hoku triplets quietly walked up behind Hidan, Kira tugging on his sleeve,

"Mama… We have a problem."

"Oh Jashin, help me…" Hidan rubbed his eyes, "What happened?"

"Well," Kiro explained, "We were watching the seeds, like you said, when _someone_," He glared at Kire, "Got too distracted by his hair and let a bunch of animals steal the wheat-seeds!"

"You were there too!" Kire snapped, "Why didn't _you_ do anything!" There was a loud, feminine scream that caused everyone to look up as a swan-demoness flew up and panicked,

"The team that went to get the southern birds actually went _North!_"

"What?" Kisame shouted, "Didn't they learn from last year when they went _East_?" The dam burst, everyone began arguing amongst themselves, Tsunade desperately trying to calm them down so they could get back to work.

"Why can't we be more _organized_?" She shouted.

"Organized?" Itachi blinked, a smile slowly growing across his features. He quickly grabbed a pen and a notebook and rushed outside. "Wait, everyone! Stop your arguing!" When he didn't get a response, he snapped his fingers and caused a megaphone to appear. "COULD I HAVE EVERYONE'S ATTENTION PLEASE?" Everyone turned towards him, Itachi tossing the megaphone away, "I know how important it is for all of you to finish your jobs, but you don't need all this chaos. What you need…" He held up his notebook, "Is organization."

* * *

><p>After a small seminar, everyone rushed back to their sectors to get back to work.<p>

Sasori and Deidara now had a nice, streamline conveyor-belt system of demons helping them build the nests and position them around town.

* * *

><p>"Ready?" Tobi cried out as his team of ice-scorers started off in a straight line that, on Itachi's signal, started to skate straight across the lake, creating small pieces of ice than last time.<p>

* * *

><p>At Goldleaf Farms, while the older kids plowed and swept the snow away, the younger children quickly planted seeds in the ground behind them.<p>

* * *

><p>Naruto held the megaphone that Itachi had used earlier, Zetsu gently ringing the bell into it. The gentle sound carried across the forest, all the animals crawling out of their burrows into the light. When the animals were all safe and accounted for, Naruto took the megaphone and called out to the sky, "You're all clear!"<p>

Sasuke heard the signal and flew to where Kisame was waiting in the ocean. The shark-demon nodded his head before shifting into shark-form and diving underwater, swimming round and around until he created a large cyclone.

The flying demons in the air directed the clouds towards it, along with shaking the icicles from the trees. All the remnants of Winter were soon melting away in the large water-spout until the sun was shining brightly onto the town below.

* * *

><p>The last thing was making sure that enough food had been planted to last the rest of the year. <em>Everyone<em> had to stay up through the night to get all of the specified seeds planted and pick all the food from the straggling plants of the old year.

But the next morning, as the birds of spring flew through the air, sprouts began breaking through the ground, and rivers flowed with animals of all types taking part of the warm season's embrace, it was all worth it.

"I…" Itachi blinked, turning around. He had been standing beneath a tree, watching the birds enjoy their new nests, when Tsunade and the others walked up, "I can't believe it," The blonde demoness gasped, "Spring is here. On time!"

"Yep!" Kisame pulled Itachi into a bear-hug from behind, "If it weren't for him, we'd still be arguing!" Itachi shook his head,

"I didn't do much… It was a team effort."

"But you helped _every_ team!" Tsunade insisted, "And you helped me win a bet for once! That's why we have a gift for you."

"A gift?" Itachi asked as he felt Kisame move away. Sasori snapped his fingers ad, in a flash, Itachi was dressed in a velvet sweat-suit of indigos, viridians, and tans. Tsunade then announced,

"We deem you All-Team Organizer! And I officially declare that Spring is here on time!" The area erupted in cheers, Kisame and Ivan hefting Itachi up onto their shoulders,

"Hey!" The embarrassed weasel-demon shouted, "Put me down!"

* * *

><p>Back in the library, that now hosted a beehive near the front door that Sasuke had gotten stung from on his way in, which explained the large bump on his hand as he wrote out what Itachi was saying, "Dear Rokubi-sama, Winter Wrap-Up had to have been one of the greatest things I have been a part of. It also taught me that if at first I seem out of place, I should just wait and see what fate has in store for me; before long, I'll have my own way of helping out my community."<p>

"There." Sasuke huffed as he set the brush down, "Now hurry up and heal my hand!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I really do love 'Winter Wrap-Up'. In fact, if I could sing better, I would fandub it. Oh well... Just have to stick to my voice-acting, I guess. **

**Thanks for reading, please review! **

**See you all next week! **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	50. Good Marks Part 1

**A/N: Zut alors! This fic, she is almost fini! I am considering continuing it into a sequel, but that all depends on if I know people will still want to read the adventures of our favorite group of demons. **

**Anywho... I need to stop using 'anywho'... **

**Thanks to: izzy1229anime (don't worry, a lot of people feel as if Twilight is the most forgetable one in the show)****, Zetsu's Rose, Alexa Hiwatari, and FMJ26 (it's okay if you review late, as long as you review).**

**Warning: Long update is long.**

* * *

><p>Birds flew through the air, landing occasionally in the trees of Adamant Falls' surrounding forests. In the middle of the trees, there was one massive grandfather oak tree; taller than anything anyone had ever seen.<p>

And, currently, a group of children were desperately trying to climb up it. "Are you sure this will work?" Saso asked the others as he strived to keep up with her friends. Mizuki (with Hun's help) passed up Alexandr as he explained,

"Alfred said that there is nothing like pushing your limits for getting a mark." So they all worked on, going as high as they could…

_Snap!_

Such a foreboding noise… But it heralded the inevitable. The kids all screamed as the branches they were using all snapped apart, sending them plummeting to the floor.

Luckily, before they started, Kiro suggested that they put up a safety-net. Yet, they _may_ have set it up a _bit_ too tight. When they landed, they bounced right off and into the trees until, finally, they landed on the ground: covered in leaves and sticky, clear liquid.

They all groaned, some getting up just to fall back over. Kira looked around at her friends before asking, "Does anyone have anything?" Alexandr winced as Boris padded over and licked the sticky liquid on his cheek.

"Leaves and tree-sap…" Mizuki noted as Hun helped him up, like a good doggy, "But no chakra-marks."

"Plan B?" Kire offered as he snapped his fingers, a comb appearing. Hun nodded,

"Let's go find a tether-cord and a cliff!" Everyone gaped at him with wide, shocked eyes until he said, "Just kidding…"

"It's no use…" Ongakuhana sighed, "No matter what we try, we always end up _without_ chakra-marks! And, surprisingly often, covered in tree-sap."

"Maybe we should try something gentler?" Saso asked, wincing as he felt a bruise forming on his arm, "Like doll-making? Or tea-making?" Before anyone could agree or disagree, a tub of water and a few rags were shoved to the center of them all, Kiro wiping himself off,

"I hope I'm not hearing a defeatist attitude from you guys!"

Everyone sighed, following Kiro's example in cleaning up. But then, Ongakuhana had a revelation,

"Hey! This town is _filled_ with demons that have gotten their chakra-marks!" She wiped the last bit of sap from her hair, "Why don't we ask _them_ how they did it?"

"That sounds fun and safe!" Saso smiled, Alexandr nodding,

"And we shall start with the best creatures in town." Kira announced,

"Mama!"

"My parents!" Saso insisted. But Alexandr shook his head,

"We are talking about the _best_ creatures. One who is strong, brave, and indomitable!"

"Sasuke?" The others guessed, Mizuki shaking his head,

"He's talking about Ivan." Alexandr shook his head,

"I am talking about Kisame and Alfred, what do you mean Mr. Ivan?"

"Anyway…" Kiro said, interrupting an on-coming debate, "This is good, we have a plan. Now, let's go see how Kisame and Alfred got their chakra-marks!"

"Yeah!" The children cheered, putting their hands together… And struggling to get them back.

"We didn't get all of the sap off, did we?" Mizuki frowned, his answer silent as they all tried to pull away from each other in vain.

* * *

><p>In the new cart that Kakuzu had built them for Holly-Eve, the children sat as Hun pulled the cart (effortlessly in his other form). They rode through the forest, carefully avoiding any hassles –<p>

Suddenly, a trio of bunnies bounced out of the bushes with carrots in their mouths.

"Get back here you thieves!"

That gruff yell caused Kira's ears to perk up, "Papa?" Sure enough, Kakuzu rushed out of the woodwork, looking for the thieves in question. After a moment of not seeing his targets, Kakuzu sighed, wiping at his forehead.

At the sight of his green and gold yen chakra-mark, Kire asked, "Hey Papa, how'd you get your chakra-mark?" Kakuzu blinked, looking at his hand,

"I've never told you three that story?"

"Hey!" Alexandr frowned, "I thought we were asking Kisame?" Kiro did a quick calculation in his head before stating,

"The more people we ask, the easier it should be for you guys to get your chakra-marks."

"Fine…" Mizuki huffed. Kakuzu sat down, shaking his head,

"We'll have to wait a minute."

"Why?" Kira asked. Suddenly,

"Kakuzu! Did you find the stupid rabbits yet?" Hidan rushed through the bushes but actually tripped over the cart and into Kakuzu's lap. Kakuzu smiled, petting Hidan's head,

"I can't tell this story alone." Hidan, who was already getting comfortable with the petting, purred,

"What story?" Kakuzu explained, combing his fingers through the albino's hair,

"The kids want to hear our chakra-mark story."

"Oh yeah…" Hidan sat up, "So, you want to start it off or…" Kakuzu nodded and, when he was sure that he had everyone's attention, he began,

"As some of you know, I was born in Adamant Sea City…"

* * *

><p>'…And I <strong>hated<strong> living there with all of my being!'

_Downtown Adamant Sea City, there was a large group of buildings decorated in bright lights and glossy images. This was the Stitchworth Casino, the family business and empire of the Hoku clan._

_They were the type of family who thought that as long as they were rich and in the money, everything else was secondary. _

_But there was one Hoku who disagreed with that belief. A door in the massive penthouse above the casino slowly opened. Out popped the head of a young teen with emerald green eyes, coarse brown hair, and stitches all over his face and arms. _

_Young Hoku Kakuzu looked around the halls, making sure that no one was around, before he swam out. _

'You might think that I liked my rich and cushy life. Yeah, _right_. I may like money, but only if I've worked for it with my own hands. I despised that casino…'

_Kakuzu swam out of the building under the dark of night, no one seeing him as he swam until he broke the water's surface. Gathering his bearings, he made sure that he was in the right area before swimming towards a cliff. _

_He found a well-worn rock, used to his presence by now. _

_You see, our young stitch-demon was in love. It was the only thing that made his life bearable. Every evening, he would sneak out of his home and watch his beloved as they trained outside. The brunette made sure that he was hidden as the familiar figure rushed out from their small home. _

_A teenaged cat-demon with sparkling white hair and shining ruby eyes came out every night, training with scythe; all the grace of a panther in his movements. _

'I wanted to go up and talk to him more than anything, but the oceans had ears. I was already risking too much by even going up to watch him… So every night I went home with a heart that was heavy even though it felt so empty…'

_Kakuzu was calculating the casino's earnings from the previous night one afternoon, when his father called him into his office. Now, Kakuzu wasn't expecting anything good from this but there would be hell to be had if you didn't obey the older stitch-demon's commands._

_When he walked in and got the signal to sit down from his father, the meeting began. "Kakuzu," His father spoke to him, not a bit of parental sincerity in his voice, "A day like this calls for celebration." _

"_For what reason?" Kakuzu asked. His father shook his head, _

"_You never were good at paying attention. I have finally settled my business plans with the Scaletail family: on the third of September, you shall marry their daughter Lotus." Kakuzu immediately screamed, _

"_WHAT?" _

_As if on cue, the door opened and a teen mermaid swam in a hugged Kakuzu tight, "It's so nice to finally meet you!" At that moment, Kakuzu's mind had tossed all of his formal learning and training out of the window as he shoved Lotus to the ground and shouted, _

"_You can't do this! You never even _asked_ me!" Kakuzu's father narrowed his eyes before calmly stating, _

"_Why should an adult ask a stupid child what they want? They hardly have the mental capacity to know…" Then he stood straight up and stated, with firm resolution, "You _will_ marry Lotus; her dowry is the largest out of all my business partners, so you'd better not screw this up! Lotus-chan, would you like to see the casino?" _

"_Mm-hm!" Lotus smiled, letting go of Kakuzu only to walk out of the door with his father: slamming it behind them._

'That was the final straw…'

_Kakuzu waited for the casino to enter rush-hour before he rushed down the penthouse hallways, two suitcases in his arms: one filled with clothes, the other empty. _

_In the casino, only four people knew the combination to the safes and cash-boxes. Kakuzu was the third. He made sure no one was looking as he got to a certain room, making quick work of the dial-lock of the door before rushing inside… _

'I stole 500,000 from my father that day… and till today, I have _no_ qualms about it. But I did do _one_ thing that I regret on that night…'

_Kakuzu swam faster than he ever had on that night, desperate to get as far away from Adamant Sea City as possible. It looked like he was about to succeed, the cavern that signaled the city-limits in his sights. _

_Abruptly, "You little BRAT!" _

_He yelped as he felt something pulling his legs. It turned out to be Lotus, the mermaid having followed him from the casino. "How _dare_ you try to leave me at the altar!" _

"_We haven't even known each other for a day!" Kakuzu gritted out as he kicked Lotus away, speeding up his actions. But Lotus proved to be a fearsome opponent: sticking to Kakuzu again like a tumor, _

"_I know what's going on, you have someone else huh? Are they an earth-walker? How dare you try and leave me for an earth-walker!" Kakuzu frowned at the mermaid's foul-mouth but had an idea. _

_He gave a heavy swing of the suitcase with the money and knocked Lotus away, shouting, "I'm sorry!" As he rushed away. _

'I never should have wasted an apology on someone like that…'

_Kakuzu waited a few days, staying at an inn, before he walked to the house that the albino cat-demon would always train near. He winced as he saw how ragged it was, wondering how it was staying up, before carefully knocking. _

_The door slammed open, an old, obese cat-demoness coughing and hacking out, "What the fuck do you want?" _

"_Yes…" Kakuzu coughed, the cat-demoness's breath rancid, "Is there a cat-demon with white hair and ruby eyes who lives here?" _

"_That worthless bastard?" The fat demoness scowled, "He left days ago, the nuisance. Why? You got trouble with him."_

_Though, at that moment, Kakuzu felt his heart breaking, he shook his head, "Never mind, sorry to bother you." _

'How did I find myself in that position? Alone, tired, not even the light of my life was around to make anything brighter… But, suddenly…'

_The brunette was slowly walking along the coast side, desperately trying to figure out his next plan. There was a loud explosion in the distance, all the water at the beach drawing towards the horizon. Kakuzu recognized the signs of a tsunami and quickly grabbed his suitcases to try and find high ground. _

_He was in such a fearful rush that he almost didn't hear a voice say, "Hey, who's chasing your ass down?" _

_He looked down, not realizing how far or fast he was running, and saw…_

* * *

><p>'Now it's <em>my<em> turn! Truth be told, I had no idea Kakuzu even existed! I was too busy training my ass off to get out of my family's run-down, over-full house. One day, I had had enough!'

"_Go on!" A loud, shrill voice shrieked, the sound of broken dishes ringing through the air as our favorite cat-demon rushed out of the falling-apart house, "Who needs you?" _

"_Fuck off you old hag!" Hidan shouted back to his mother, "I'm going to go live with Uncle Shima!" _

"_You won't last a _day_ in the city!" Hidan's mother yowled as she waddled her overweight body to the door, a baby in each arm. "And when you're out on the street, don't bring your sorry ass back here!" _

"_I would rather die!" Hidan hissed before he ran off, leaving his congested past behind. _

'My mother… Ugh, what a sad excuse of a creature. She never wanted _anything_ good for her kids. But _I_ wanted success. I had always dreamed of becoming someone important, so I decided to try out for the police force of the biggest, cosmopolitan city in the world: The Ivory Court!'

_It took Hidan a good few days of walking and hitching rides, but he soon reached the city built of the purest material in the world, The Ivory Court. _

"_Wow…" He gulped, feeling a bit nervous, "I'm really here, aren't I?" He jumped out of a milk delivery truck and looked around with wide, ruby eyes, "It's fucking huge…" _

"_Hey!" Someone shouted when he got to close, "Watch it you rube!" _

"_Fuck off!" Hidan hissed back as he went back to sight-seeing. So many lights, fancily-dressed demons, and strange, high-classed food… Hidan struggled to take it all in. _

'If I was going to make it _anywhere_ in this big, wide world, it would be in the Ivory Court… Those were the thoughts beating in my heart…'

_After a few hours of searching and asking around, Hidan found himself in front of a condo building. A quick elevator ride had him in front of a door with a paw-print on it. He knocked, waited, and soon saw an older cat-demon dressed in a velvet-robe and a rabbit-demon who looked like she should still be in high school. _

"_Hidan!" Shima, the cat-demon, greeted, "Come on in! I'm _so_ glad you got out of your mother's place, that dump…" He closed the door behind the albino and cleared his throat, "How is she by the way?" _

"_Popping out a kid every year," Hidan rolled his eyes, "The usual."_

"_I see." Shima sighed, "But anyway, this is the gem of my life Usa-chan." _

"_Hi!" Usa bowed, Hidan returning the gesture, _

"_So glad I can stay with you guys. Got a bath around here I can use? I need to wash these clothes too…" Shima laughed, _

"_Those old things? Oh no, Usa will take you out to get some new clothes tomorrow morning." Usa's eyes sparkled, _

"_An excuse to go shopping? Oh Hidan," She hugged the young teen, "Having you here is great already!" The rabbit-demon bit her lip as she tried and struggled to run her fingers through Hidan's matted white hair, "We'll have you acting and dressing like one of us city-folk in no time!" _

'Looking back, I probably should have chosen a different city.'

_Shima had taken Usa and Hidan to a friend's wine-tasting a few weeks later: his two favorite demons dressed in pretty, red dresses. Hidan forced a smile as everyone in the room looked at him like he was some new pet or something. One of the others asked him, "How are you enjoying yourself in our fair city?" Hidan thought for a second before clearing his throat and beginning, just as Usa had rehearsed with him, _

"_Why, it's simply lovely: such beautiful architecture." _

"_Very well said." Shima commented. Hidan nodded, _

"_But I have to say," All at once, his play-persona timed out, "Jashin-damn, you all sure have a lot of noise in this place! I heard an alarm go off in a store down the street and I was like 'What the hell was that'!" _

_Everyone's eyes went wide at the cat-demon's brash comments, Shima nervously offering, _

"_So, who's hungry?"_

'Being so fake and shallow… It's so much work for no feasible reward… I hated it!'

_When they got back to Shima's condo, Hidan went straight to bed: hungry and tired. "The fuck do these people live off of," He groaned, clutching his angry stomach, "Wine, crackers, and cheese?" _

'My plans for a better, important life were looking like they were going to go down the drain at the rate I was going… It seemed like no matter where I went, I could never catch a break…'

"_I can't go home…" Hidan sighed, "But staying here doesn't seem all the great either…" He looked up at the sky through his window and whispered, "Gods, give me a sign…" Suddenly, there was a loud, roaring explosion: the moon disappearing behind a massive sheet of blue. _

_All over town, alarms and screams could be heard. But Hidan looked up at the spectacle: the diluted moonlight making strange, foreign designs on the ground below. Though they were abstract, Hidan felt that they were leading him somewhere… _

_South. _

_He opened the window and abruptly jumped down into a truck that was labeled for delivering something to a southern city. _

'It was a miracle! I had never seen something like _that_ happen before. Whatever it was telling me, I knew that the gods wanted me to listen. So south I went…

At least until the truck stopped and the drivers kicked me out.'

_Hidan sat there on the side of the road, half-waiting for another truck, half-looking at the sky, when a tall teen stitch-demon rushed by. Hidan blinked before calling out with a smile, "Hey, who's chasing your ass down?" Kakuzu looked down and saw the exact pair of ruby eyes he had watched from a distance. _

_Hidan was immediately entranced by those emerald green eyes. _

"_How about this weather huh?" Hidan offered as the two walked down a path, not knowing where they were going. _

"_I wonder what caused it…" Kakuzu muttered, Hidan shrugging his shoulders, _

"_Who knows, the gods do weird stuff." _

"_That's true…" _

_They walked on and on until Hidan groaned, "Fucking tired." They decided to rest for a moment, standing there on the pathway. But Hidan had once again found himself staring at Kakuzu… _

"_Hey, you know…" Hidan began, looking up at Kakuzu: the lights from the sky illuminating his features, "Those stitches on your face." _

"_What about them?" Kakuzu asked. He all but flinched when Hidan rested his head on his shoulder, purring, _

"_I like them." _

"_What are your dreams?" Hidan asked Kakuzu, the two of them sitting down, "Mine was to be someone special and important." Kakuzu waited, thinking hard. Then, _

"_I want to run a farm." _

"_A farm?" Hidan blinked, Kakuzu explaining, _

"_Everyone needs food right? And with a few animals, it would be a constant source of income." The brunette looked up to the sky, "Yeah, a farm… With a family… And an income that I've toiled for with my own hands…" At that moment, though Kakuzu didn't know it, a mark had appeared: a gold and green yen symbol. _

_Hidan hummed, looking back at the stitch-demon who was getting cuter by the second, "You need someone to help you with that?" Kakuzu looked over, a questioning look in his eyes, "With that farm?" _

"_Well… No, I…" All at once, Hidan jumped up and meowed out loud, _

"_Marry me then!"_

"_Huh?" Needless to say, Kakuzu was surprised, but Hidan went on to explain, _

"_Not now of course, but I want to start that farm with you! Yeah, a farm and a family… That sounds fucking A-right!" Then the cat-demon laughed, a true laugh from the heart: a mark of a scarlet scythe fading in onto his hand. _

"_Well then," Kakuzu stood up and took Hidan's hand, "Would you call that an engagement?" The cat-demon raised an eyebrow before leaning over and kissing Kakuzu on the cheek, laughing at the blush he received, _

"_I would."_

* * *

><p>"We used the money that Kakuzu had stolen and bought a few acres outside of Adamant Falls," Hidan explained, "Even as a kid, this guy scared the realtor into letting him buy!" Kakuzu pulled one of Hidan's ears, getting the cat-demon to be quiet for a moment,<p>

"We didn't even realize we had gotten our chakra-marks until the next morning. But we have been running Goldleaf Farms ever since."

Across the way, the rabbits had been mocking the two farm-workers the whole time and when the story was done, Hidan shifted into cat-form and screeched, "I'LL KILL YOU!", rushing after the thieves. Kakuzu sighed,

"I'd better go after him."

When the two adults were gone, Saso commented, "What a sweet story."

"Kire, thanks so much for asking Papa to tell it to us!" Kira added. But Alexandr and Mizuki were not amused.

"Sweet? Try saccharine!" Alexandr huffed as he grabbed Boris and got back in the wagon. Mizuki agreed,

"We need to find Ivan and find a _good_ way to get a chakra-mark." The kids all got back in the cart and, with a bark, Hun started pulling away.

* * *

><p>They didn't get that far before they found their way blocked by a wall named Zetsu. "Hey!" Hun yipped in warning. But Zetsu gasped and saw the children and, just before they had a nasty accident, a vine came up from the ground and seized the cart: the children falling out in front a small path labeled 'Turtle Crossing'.<p>

"There we go," Zetsu spoke to the slowly crossing creatures, "Careful now, don't trip." Thirty minutes later, he tuned to the children and spoke, "You all should be more careful, what if someone got hurt?"

"Sorry Zetsu-san…" Everyone bowed. The green-haired male bent to one knee and asked Ongakuhana,

"Where are you all going in such a hurry?"

"To find Ivan-" Mizuki began, Alexandr interrupting,

"To find Kisame and Alfred to hear—"

"How they got their chakra-marks!" Mizuki ended before Alexandr could interrupt again. Zetsu smiled,

"How interesting. You know, I wouldn't have gotten _my_ chakra-mark if it weren't for Kisame."

"Really?" Ongakuhana asked, everyone fathering around to hear the tale. Zetsu chuckled,

"It all started in the NEPFBW… You wouldn't believe this but back when I was a teen, I wasn't very nice…"

* * *

><p><em>The sound of shattering vases and tears could be heard as a green-haired plant-demon teen went around, breaking everything in the small, underwater school. Zetsu's black skin (yes, at this time black) shined underwater as he looked around for more things to destroy. <em>

_It wasn't his fault, he just had so much uncontrollable rage inside of him and no one wanted to sit still long enough to let him speak his feelings. And those who would get near him… _

"_Hey Zetsu, are you still here?" One of the older kids scoffed, "They should have kicked your sorry but out of the _NEPFBW_ ages ago!" A few more children joined in with the teasing, Zetsu gritting his teeth as he wished nothing but harm onto those around him… _

"_Hey!" That call distracted everyone, Zetsu looking out into the training area to see a young shark swim like a lightning bolt over to the growing group. The animal shifted into a teen with blue skin, blue hair, and dark, wild eyes. "Leave him alone!" _

"_Ooh~!" One of the older kids rolled their eyes, "What are _you_ going to do about, Kisame the flunk-out?" Kisame growled, sharp teeth showing, _

"_Keep making fun of him and find out!" _

"_Little guppies should stay out of the shark-tank," One of the bullies frowned, "Unless you can prove your toughness!" Kisame grinned, a spark in his eyes, _

"_What do you have in mind?" _

* * *

><p><em>A race across the waves of the Adamant Sea was what had been decided, Kisame and two of the bullies at the starting line: the shark holding on tightly to a surfboard. "You're going down Guppy!" <em>

"_In history maybe!" Kisame laughed, getting himself ready. Zetsu was in charge of waving the flag (he had snatched it away from the girl who originally had it). He raised it up, _

"_Ready?" The competitors nodded. "Go!" As soon as the flag rushed down, the three competitors rushed by, knocking Zetsu into the choppy waves. "Wait! What the hell?" He sputtered as he desperately tried to swim against the powerful waters. But they weren't letting up, and no one was coming to help the violent plant-demon. _

_So he was swept away, into a vicious current that led inland. Poor Zetsu was scared out of his mind, still trying to see if he could save himself. But it was all in vain as he soon was swept over the edge of a waterfall. _

_The young plant-demon screamed as he fell with the thundering waters but, miraculously, he was flung into the nearby trees of the forest… Face first into an abandoned beehive… And finally landed in the open mouth of a Venus fly-trap. _

"_Ow…" He groaned, face covered in honey. "What the hell is this stuff?" He wiped what he could off onto his hand and sniffed it, liking the sweet smell, before licking it. Out of nowhere, he doubled over, his stomach in snapping pain. "Ow… What is this? Make it stop!" As he groaned and writhed, his black skin turned lily-white and when all was done, he opened wide yellow eyes and took in exactly where he was. _

_It was a glorious grove of tropical plants, animals frolicking around in their own business. _

'It was amazing! I had never _seen_ such beautiful plants and animals before. Only certain creatures can live in the ocean and no one had offered to take me to land before…'

_Zetsu gasped in awe at the plants, including the gracious Venus fly-trap that was carrying him around the space. He felt a… a type of… _tickling?_... in his throat. He tried to cough it out, _

"_What…" He cleared his throat, "What is…" Finally, he looked around again before singing in a shaky, yet beautiful young voice, _

"_What is this place _

_Filled with so many wonders? _

_Casting a spell," The fly-trap let him down on the ground, _

"_That I am now under…" Zetsu walked around, seeing all of the new creatures around him, _

"_Squirrels in their trees, _

_And the cute little bunnies… _

_Birds flying high, _

_And bees making honey…" He licked the bit of nectar that was still on his fingers and smiled, _

"_Honey~!", All of the creatures coming to sit around him before he rushed off, joyously singing, _

"_Oh~! _

_What a magical place! _

_And I owe it all _

_To the great water-race! _

_If I knew dry land had so much to see, _

_I would have come here sooner, _

_And never leave! _

_Yes, I _

_Love _

_Every…" He took a deep breath, "Thing~!" _

_Suddenly, the sound of a huge explosion caused him to seize up, looking towards the ocean and sky: the light of the sun being blocked out by some unknown force. _

_The lack of light and the loud noise caused all of the animals to scurry away in fear and the plants to close up their blossoms to wait for the threat to pass. _

_When Zetsu was left all alone, he sighed in despair. But he soon felt a need to help all these poor creatures. He walked over to the rabbit burrow and whispered, "Shh… It's okay." _

_He then moved to the trees and gently said, "They will be alright, you can let them out." The trees unwound themselves, letting the squirrels go off. Finally, with the help of the fly-trap from before, Zetsu rode up to the sky and announced to the birds hiding in the clouds, "Everything's okay. There's nothing to be afraid of." _

_When the plant-demon got back to the ground, the frogs and fish swam up to him as he sat down with the other animals. _

'Somehow, I had the ability to speak with animals on a different level…'

_While Zetsu sat, petting the bunnies that were bouncing into his lap, the mark of a Venus fly-trap with its roots curling around Zetsu's wrist appeared…_

* * *

><p>"Wait a minute!" Alexandr pardoned himself but spoke up anyway, "What about Kisame? What about the race?"<p>

"Oh…" Zetsu thought for a moment, "Well, I wasn't really there for the whole thing. So I can't tell you what happened. I'm sorry."

"It's okay Daddy." Ongakuhana walked up and kissed her father's cheek, "_I_ liked your story." Zetsu chuckled,

"My musical flower…"

"Come on Musketeers," Mizuki announced as they all got back in the cart, "We aren't that far from the Yonko Forests, we can ask Ivan about his story. Besides," He shuddered, "I can't take anymore singing…" The children were then off, Zetsu waving them off with a,

"Have a good day."

* * *

><p>The children made their way through the shivering wood and Ivan welcomed them all into his home, "You are all lucky, Alfred was just coming back from town with cookies from Tobi's bakery."<p>

"Hey, do we have company Ivan?" Alfred popped his head out from the kitchen and whooped, "Sweet! Now we have someone to share these with!" The kids sat down on and around the couch as Alfred put a plate of cookies down on the coffee table and went back to get some milk. Ivan then asked,

"So, you are all looking to hear about getting magic-marks?"

"Mm-hm!" Kira mumbled as she ate one of the large cookies, Hun barking,

"We really need the help!"

"Ah yes," Ivan hummed, sitting down, "Perhaps my dorogoy should go first…"

"Nothing doing!" Alfred huffed as he returned with the milk and cups, "_You _tell them _your_ story first!" The older Baba Yaga only sighed before stating,

"Fine." He turned to the children before beginning, "I was growing up in a far, far away land where it _always_ snows. Alexandr knows the place I am speaking of." The small Baba Yaga nodded, cookie in his mouth, "Yes, I lived in a small house with my sisters on top of a large, snowy hill…"

* * *

><p>'Our father is a busy merchant, always traveling here and there across the world, so we were usually there by ourselves: Katyusha watching over us… But one day…'<p>

_Screams and cries could be heard echoing through the snowy hillside as a group of humans dragged two young Baba Yaga girls out of their home. _

"_Please, let us go!" Katyusha sobbed, trying to get her and her sister free. _

"_Shut up!" One of the men shouted, pulling them both despite Natalia's clawing and biting at him. His two partners were busy holding back the two Baba Yagas' brother, young Ivan shouting, _

"_Let them go!", before he sank his sharp teeth into one of the hands holding him. _

"_Damn brat!" The man snapped, punching Ivan in the back of his head: knocking him unconscious. _

"_No!" Katyusha cried, "Vanya!" _

"_Big brother!" Natalia shrieked, Ivan unable to do anything as his sisters were dragged away… _

'I woke up, cold, alone, not knowing where to start looking for my sisters. But I knew that I had to find them before something horrible would happen…'

_Ivan quickly tried to gather what little clothing he could from the house before he rushed out of the door and sniffed the air, trying to catch the scent of home-cooking and Flax flowers. _

_He walked on and on, despite the winds picking up speed: shards of ice and snow biting into his cheeks and hands. _

_Still he walked, across the treacherous frozen rivers and lakes: not knowing when the ice might give way. _

_On he walked, despite the snow drifting up to his waist. _

'It is being my sincerest hope that you all will never have to experience the sheer cold that seeped into my bones, my very being, that day… It _changed_ me somehow…'

_Inside of a far-off cave, Katyusha her arms wrapped tightly around Natalia, to protect her from the cold and whatever these men wanted to do to them. She flinched when one of them brought out a knife and sneered, _

"_How much do you think we will get for hair and skin of Baba Yaga?" _

"_Or we could sell both to a brothel…" Another said, "They would pay well for such rare treasures…" _

_Before they could speak any further, a swift, powerful gale of freezing wind blew into the cave: actually _freezing_ the flames in the small fireplace. _

"_What the hell?" The leader of the group gritted out, looking to the cave entrance to see _

"_Ivan!" Katyusha called out. Ivan was quiet, his lavender eyes cold as he glared into the cave. _

"_Should have killed you when I had the chance…" The leader growled, taking out a knife from his pocket. But he would never get to use it. _

_Ivan narrowed his eyes, wondering how he was going to fight these men… _

_A sound like thunder echoed through the world, the ground shaking as the sky went dark. The tremors actually caused large spires of ice shooting out from the ground and impaling the three men, effectively ending the threat to Ivan and his sisters' well-being. _

"_Oh Ivan!" Katyusha sobbed as she and Natalia rushed over, "I am so sorry! I was so careless and those men hurt you so badly…" Ivan shook his head, hugging his sisters tight, _

"_It is okay, all is better now…" He didn't realize it, but the mark of a silver, sharp-edged snowflake had appeared on his arm, "Let's see if we can at least get a good meal from this experience…"_

* * *

><p>"Wow…" The children and Alfred looked at Ivan with eyes wide in awe. Ivan only smiled,<p>

"Close your mouths before they stick that way young ones…" After a moment, Alfred sat up and stated,

"Yeah, that was cool and all, but who wants to hear my awesome, amazing story of my mark?" Alexandr silently raised his hand, Ongakuhana asking,

"Before you start, can I get some more milk?"

* * *

><p>"Okay, now that everyone has more milk…" Alfred looked around, "Can I start my story?" The kids nodded and he started, "Okay! So, unlike Ivan here, I grew up in the desert. Sometimes it's cool, sometimes hot, but it's my home and I wouldn't trade it for the world…"<p>

* * *

><p>'With Trickster Spirits, the way that we get our magic marks is a <em>bit<em> different than what you all are used to. You see, the shaman of the settlement, a shaman is a really wise, old Trickster Spirit, will have a vision concerning a quest or duty that a young Trickster has to fulfill. And when he finally gave me his vision for me…'

_Alfred, only known as Freedom-Crying Eagle at this time, shivered as he stood on top of a massive mesa: the column of stone standing high up above the desert floor. He gulped as he looked over the edge, the shaman speaking, "You shall fly like eagle off of edge." _

"_But!" Alfred gulped, panicking at the thought of meeting a painful end at the desert floor, "All Dances in Snow had to do was dance naked in some snow! Why do I have to jump off a cliff?" _

"_Freedom-Crying Eagle, don't question the shaman!" Grandmother Spider chastised her son from where she, Grandfather Flat-tail, and Alfred's twin Dances in Snow stood. Alfred still went on to shout, _

"_But what if I fall and die?" _

"_Then vision was not meant for you." The shaman spoke and, with nothing as much as a sigh, he shoved Alfred over the side of the mesa. _

'Just like that! He pushed me off, not knowing if I would survive or not! If I ever see that shaman again…'

_Alfred screamed and cried as he plummeted faster, faster, and faster still towards the ground. He didn't know what he was going to do! Was he really going to die like this? _

_It was around the mid-part of his descent, the skies went dark. This caused two giant eagles to leave their nests in search of food. They flew down the mesa, catching up with Alfred. But they didn't try to attack him. No, Alfred was able to take in the way their bodies moved: the powerful flaps of their wings, their fierce expressions. _

_Before the blonde had realized it, his body was changing shape… _

_Up on the mesa top, Dances in Snow walked over to the edge; his eyes teary as he looked for any sign of his brother… He was knocked back a bit with the speed that Alfred flew up into the sky in the form of a proud eagle. He flew into the sky, the stars peeking out through the dark blue veil and seeming to surround the young Trickster's body…_

* * *

><p>"And when I came back down," Alfred smiled, showing the back of his hand: the mark of an eagle in flight surrounded by stars on it, "This had appeared on my hand and – Hey!" He and Ivan looked to see the children taking their leave.<p>

"Where are you going?" Ivan asked, to which Kire replied,

"We're not jumping off of any cliffs anytime soon…"

"Thanks for the cookies though!" Hun waved before Alexandr stated,

"Come on, let's find Kisame before the day is out." As they all climbed back into the cart, Saso stated,

"Maybe my parents have seen him today." They all agreed before Hun began pulling them towards GlazeFeather Boutique.


	51. Good Marks Part 2

Kiro groaned as sheets of fabric were being pinned over him, "How did we get roped into this?" Alexandr agreed as he watched Boris play-fight with Opal,

"We are _never_ going to hear Kisame's story!" Deidara walked in, hands covered in glitter and pigments from work,

"Are you kids still obsessing over chakra-marks, un?" Saso nodded, careful not to move too much as Sasori worked on the fabric on him,

"Of course! Most of the kids at school already have theirs!" Sasori shook his head, setting down his pin-cushion,

"I know how you feel. For the longest time, _I_ couldn't figure out why I didn't have mine." Saso hummed as he turned to Deidara and asked,

"What about you mother?"

Deidara's frame went still before his eyes lost some of their shine and looked towards the floor. Sasori let out a silent hiss, knowing the forbidden area had been touched upon, and tried to change the focus, "I had always had an artistic field of vision…"

* * *

><p>'Which was probably why my teacher assigned me the task of creating my school's theater-department outfits…'<p>

_On a small stage near a simple prep-school, a group in colorful costumes were dancing and singing. Behind the curtain, young Akasuna Sasori stood next to his teacher who commented, "Very nice Sasori." Sasori frowned, _

"_Nice? But they need to be amazing and the performance is tomorrow night!" _

'I tried everything I had in my simple arsenal…'

_In the dilapidated building Sasori called home, he strived to make his work more memorable, more spectacular… But he was always coming up short. _

'Nothing I tried was working. And the play was coming ever closer…'

"_Oh…" Sasori groaned, laying himself against the table and fabrics, "Maybe I'm not meant to be a fashionisto after all…" _

_There was a sudden tingling in his tail, the point shining bright before the appendage began pulling him out the door and out of town. "What's going on? Stop! Stop~!" _

'I had no idea where my tail and chakra were taking me. But things like that don't happen for no reason. I knew this had to deal with my love of fashion, my chakra-mark, maybe even… My destiny…'

"_Oomph!" Sasori groaned as his tail finally stopped, knocking him smack-dab into…_

_He looked up at the massive rock in the center of the valley he was in before snapping, "A rock? That's my destiny? Oh, you have got to be joking!" He seized his tail, "What is the matter with you? You dragged me all the way out here for a rock?" _

_He walked around a few steps, trying to calm himself down. But he only ended up shouting, "Stupid rock!" _

_He yelped and jumped back when a loud explosion sounded from the distance, the skies growing dark. "I'm sorry Mr. Stupid Rock!" He yelped and waited for the worst to pass. The giant stone suddenly cracked apart and fell into two pieces: each half embedded with gems and jewels. Sasori looked at all of them, eyes going wide before he smiled, "Okay, you're not so stupid after all." _

_That evening, those who came to watch the school-play were in awe at the intricate, shining outfits that the actors wore: especially Sasori's teacher: her eyes sparkling as she watched the actors sing and dance. _

_To say that Sasori was happy, though, was an understatement compared to when he found the mark of a jeweled scorpion on his hand…_

* * *

><p>"Danna…" Deidara spoke up, interrupting Sasori's tale, "I'll talk now." The children were a little confused as Sasori asked,<p>

"Are you sure you're up to it?" Deidara nodded before beginning,

"Children, you have to understand that in this world, there are those who are good… And those who are very, very bad…" The blonde let out a shuddering sigh, "When I was a kid, my parents didn't like me that much. So they sent me away to an awful place." Deidara averted his eyes as his mind worked hard to edit his story in a way that would be child appropriate, but in his mind the events stayed the same.

* * *

><p><em>The air was stale and unnaturally quiet above the workshop surrounded by the skeleton-fence: Spinegate. The only sounds that could be heard were the slapping of feet against the mixing concrete, the sucking noises that the mixture would make as it was worked. <em>

_The laborers, children that should have been in school, were exhausted as they moved they malnourished bodies into the repetitive cycle of work, starve, or be beaten. _

_In the middle of them all, his once golden hair having lost all luster, his blue eyes almost dead compared to their former selves, Deidara worked his feet into the concrete mix; the muck staining his skin and the crying out of his stomach deafening in his ears. _

_That place had to have been the epitome of misery: Deidara, now in his teens, found it better to focus his eyes on the sludge beneath his feet than to look up and see the vultures in the sky or look to the sides of him and see the occasional child fall victim to their exhaustion: not to be picked up and moved out of the way, but to sink and be mixed into the concrete they died in. _

'But as bad as things were, there was always a vicious monster lurking behind the works…'

_The work had been ceased for the day, the children sent to their room to sleep. But one of the workers stopped Deidara and smirked, "Shade wants to see ya." The bird-demon whimpered, shivering where he stood as he was led to the head dog-demon's office. _

_The same place where his innocence had been torn from him…_

* * *

><p>"<em>Ah, Deidara…" Shade smirked as Deidara walked inside his office, "So nice to see you again." When Deidara pressed himself against the locked door, desperately trying to stay away from the dog-demon, Shade chuckled and surged forward, grabbing Deidara and dragging him past the table filled with food until he sat back down: the blonde in his lap.<em>

_"My pretty birdie..." Shade whispered, licking around the brand-mark on the small blonde's neck, "I know you haven't eaten in a while... So, let's have..." He peeled away the miserable piece of scrap of cloth that was supposed to be a shirt, "A bit of fun and then you can get some food from the table over there. Okay?" Deidara was too tired to respond, "Good..." _

_As the dog-demon moved his claws closer to Deidara's pants, the bird-demon didn't know what surged up inside him but, in a flash, he tore himself away and scratched a bleeding mark into his tormentor's face: rushing out of the room when he howled in pain. "Little shit!" Shade barked out before chasing the blonde down. _

_Deidara ran as fast as he could down the hallways, desperate to get out of the hell that was Spinegate that night. He stopped for literally one second when he got to a stairwell, but Shade rushed up behind him, growling, "You think you can escape from me?", as he seized Deidara's arm and flung the blonde down the stairs. _

_The poor bird-demon felt his right arm snap in two places for the two times his body slammed against the stairs. And when he finally landed at the bottom, he knew that his arm, his wing, was broken: he couldn't fly out of here like he had originally thought, he had to run. So through pain unimaginable, he managed to get to his feet and start moving again. _

_"Shit!" Shade gritted his teeth, rushing after him. He wasn't losing this one, he was too valuable! _

'My body was on auto-pilot, my mind numb from pain. But if you have a goal, if it's a matter between life and death, your body finds a way to fight on...'

_Deidara managed to get outside, outside of the skeleton gates of Spinegate and rush towards the ravine that separated the camp from the rest of the world. "How do I..?" _

_"Cross?" Deidara gasped, holding his broken arm as he turned to see Shade moving ever closer, "You don't. You're going to come back to Spinegate with me and keep working and supply me with pretty golden feathers until the day you die. Got it?" Deidara shook his head, stepping back until his foot met air. "Like you can really get away from me. Look at you, you can't even fly you stupid piece of shit!" _

_Deidara looked down into the ravine, it so dark that he couldn't see anything. But he could make out the sound of rushing water. "Come on!" Shade growled, reaching forward. But Deidara only shook his head... _

_And let his body fall back into the darkness. _

_"NO!" Shade roared the loss of his entertainment and income. _

_His body hit against the walls of the ravine, his other arm breaking almost worse than the first, until he final crashed into the rushing water below… He couldn't swim, both being a bird-demon and his broken arms contributing to the fact… _

_But he was just _so_ tired… He could barely breathe as the waters swept him away. _

'I _felt_ my body wash up on shore… But I hardly realized it… My mind was fading so quickly…'

'_Am I going to die..?' Deidara thought to himself as he struggled to breathe. 'If I am… It might be nice… Just to… sleep…' _

_There was a loud explosion from far away. The sound caused Deidara to open his eyes and look up to see the sky… _

_Oh, it was beautiful. _

_Something was causing a large, crystal blue mass to slide across the sky and when the moonlight shined through it, it created a shimmering assortment of lights. And, to add to the remarkable display, a flock of birds had flown through the lights: their bodies streaking the colors across the sky. _

'To see that the same world that had manifested such vile cruelty could be reborn into such pure beauty caused me to think: 'If I died then, I wouldn't be able to see such beauties ever again. I would never get the chance to create such wonders myself.' So, I decided right then… That I would live…'

_Deidara choked out his pain as he struggled to stand to his feet, his whole body sore. But he managed to get to his feet and then he began walking, slowly, in the direction that those birds were flying: _

_Sanctuary. _

* * *

><p><em>They led him to a point where he could hear music and the clamor of people. Deidara quietly walked to what appeared to be a school and kept to the shadows, lest anyone find him out. <em>

_He sat in the shadow of the school-stage for a while, just until the crowds thinned out. But he never expected someone to find him. _

_Especially not a young, handsome scorpion-demon with the warmest brown eyes you had ever seen. "Um, hello?" The red-head asked, leaning down to Deidara's level, "Are you okay?" _

_Deidara's eyes were drifting closed, his exhaustion kicking in, but in that moment, as he passed out into the red-head's arms, he managed to do two things he never thought he would live to do: _

_Gain a chakra-mark of a golden phoenix rising from rainbow-shaded ashes on his hand. _

_And smile once more._

* * *

><p>The room was quiet, no one knowing quite what to say even though Deidara had given a heavily edited account of what he had just remembered: it was still so intense. The bird-demon smiled and spoke up, "All good things to those who wait. That's what you can get from my story, un."<p>

"But waiting takes too long~!" Saso sighed before calling out to his friends, "Let's go hear another story. Thanks mother, thanks father!" As the children rushed off, Sasori walked over and sat down next to the blonde: tears that were so wonderfully hidden now spilling from his eyes.

* * *

><p>They would get another story alright, but not one that Kiro or Alexandr wanted. They found themselves in the Library story-time room sitting around Itachi as he spoke, "...When I was a teen in Konoha, I always wanted to watch the ten Celestials help Amaterasu-sama renew the sun in the Sun Harvest Festival…"<p>

* * *

><p><em>Konoha had been decorated from roof to street in honor of the Sun Harvest Festival. Itachi, as a teen weasel-demon, pulled his baby brother Sasuke along through the bustling crowds at the main festival. <em>

"_Come on otouto, its almost time!" Itachi insisted as he pulled Sasuke to the front of the crows. Just in time, the musicians played a triumphant chorus as Amaterasu's dearest pets, the ten Celestials, took their rightful positions on the stage. _

_Itachi's eyes went wide at the sight of Rokubi No Raijuu, the beautiful weasel-deity shifting into his other form, as did his fellow deities, and roared into the sky as the sun rose up: shining golden for all to see. _

"_Wow…" Itachi whispered, clutching onto Sasuke's hand as he thought, for a moment, Rokubi's eyes landed on him. _

'From then on, I poured my heart and soul into learning everything I could about magic and chakra…'

_Itachi spent day in, day out, with his nose in thick, thick books on magic and jutsu. His red eyes took in every bit of information he could, occasionally trying out a spell with his slowly-forming power. When he made a page turn by thought alone, he clapped at his success before continuing on his studies. _

_His studies soon paid off as his parents, so proud of his diligent studies and good grades, told him that they had registered for him to be enrolled into Rokubi's Apprenticeship Program. To say that Itachi was excited… _

"_Yes! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" He jumped around his parents in sheer glee, Fugaku shaking his head and Mikoto smiling. _

…_May have been an understatement. _

'It felt like a dream came true on that day… But it soon transformed into a nightmare as I walked into the examination building and found out…'

"_Upon passing this Entrance Exam," One of the stuffy professors coughed and grumbled, "You will be enrolled in our prestigious program." Itachi gulped and looked to his parents who were motioning for him to keep up a smile. _

"_Your test, which has been assigned especially with you in mind," Another professor began, "Will be to induce your younger brother's flame-breathing ability." Sasuke sat down on a stool beside Itachi, mouthing out, _

'_You can do it aniki.' _

"_Well Uchiha-kun?" One of the professors asked, an un-amused look on their face. Itachi nodded and tried his best to get Sasuke to breath fire: he tried clapping his hands, funny poses, magic words… But nothing was giving. After a few more failed attempts and the professors writing none too good comments in their notepads, Itachi sighed, _

"_My apologies for wasting your time…", And was about to walk through the door… _

_The whole building shook and quaked as a large explosion rolled through the land. It shocked poor Itachi so much that a rush of pure, red chakra surged through his entire body and shot out through his hands: engulfing Sasuke and causing him to cough out a large plume of blue flames that nearly scorched off the entire roof. _

_But that initial shock had woken up something powerful in the small weasel-demon: his eyes glazing over in red as the chakra surrounded his whole body: shocks of power rolling through the room causing his parents to hold each other in fear and the professors to nearly piss their pants. _

"_Ah!" Itachi yelped as the power in his body caused the professors to levitate in the air, then it turned his father into an ice cube and his mother into a potted-plant. Afterwards, it shot towards Sasuke and transformed him into a massive dragon: his head crashing through the roof of the building as he roared out another rush of fire. _

_Outside, Rokubi No Raijuu had been taking a leisurely stroll around the school grounds when he saw the spectacle taking place and the danger of the amount of raw chakra that was emanating there. _

_Back inside, Itachi's whole body felt like it was burning: tears dripping from his eyes as he tried to stop the tremors in his small frame. Out of nowhere, he felt a soft, gentle hand on his shoulder that caused him to turn and see the kind eyes of the deity of thunder. "Rokubi-sam – AH!" _

"_Shh…" Rokubi whispered, holding Itachi close despite the burns he was receiving from the exposure to the raw chakra. "It's alright. I'm here little one…" _

_Those words… In that calm voice… They finally seemed to get Itachi's body to relax and the chakra to dissipate. When the red, swirling energies had gone completely, the professors were set back down on the ground, Itachi's parents changed back to their normal selves, and Sasuke shifted back into his smaller body. _

"_Aw man," He pouted, "I'm not awesome anymore!" Itachi, however, felt like he was about to collapse. Luckily, Rokubi held him steady and spoke, _

"_Uchiha Itachi…" _

"_I'm so sorry!" Itachi sobbed, "I didn't mean for all those things…" He trailed off as Rokubi held up a finger and began, _

"_Such a special young demon you are. I've never seen an individual with _your_ raw ability." Itachi was stunned, so Rokubi continued, "But you have to refine these abilities. That's why I want to make you my own personal protégée here at this school." _

"_Huh?" Itachi blinked, but Sasuke walked up and huffed, _

"_Hey! You can't take my aniki away!" Rokubi chuckled, _

"_Don't worry, you can come with him. I'm sure your parents wouldn't mind, right Uchiha-san?" Fugaku and Mikoto rapidly shook their heads. "So, what will it be Itachi?" The small weasel-demon's eyes went wide and he and his brother jumped up, shouting, _

"_YES!" _

"_One more thing." Rokubi cleared his throat, causing the two young Uchihas to fall back down to the ground. When they were paying attention, Rokubi pointed to their hands: Itachi's bearing a mark of swirling red chakra, and Sasuke's bearing a mark of blue flame. _

"_Chakra-marks?" Sasuke gasped, shocked that he had gotten his the same time as his brother. They both looked at each other before smiling and jumping up: singing and dancing, _

"_Yes! Yes-yes-yes! Yatta! Yatta! Yes! Yes-yes-yes! Yatta! Yatta!"_

* * *

><p>Back in present time, the Chakra-Mark Musketeers watched Itachi and Sasuke (the dragon wandering in during the story) dance their happy dance, singing, "Yes! Yes-yes-yes! Yatta! Yatta! Yes! Yes-yes-yes! Yatta! Yatta!"<p>

"Okay…" Alexandr began, watching the two brothers dance.

"Awkward. Dancing is Awkward…" Ongakuhana whispered as they all slowly walked away. Itachi and Sasuke were still in their own world, dancing in their memories until someone asked,

"Um, are you okay?" The two Uchihas stopped when they saw all the adults in the library staring at them.

"Uh…" Sasuke cleared his throat, Itachi giving a nervous smile,

"Yes."

* * *

><p>Back in town, the children were back riding the cart. But as Hun pulled them along, Kiro groaned, "Ugh! Why don't we <em>ever <em>crash into Kisame?"

"You're looking for Kisame?" All the children blinked before they realized they had an extra passenger. Tobi sat in the cart and beamed, "If Tobi were him, Tobi would be at _Swirl_! Of course, if Tobi were anybody he's be at _Swirl._ Hey…" He smiled, waving his arms, "Want to go to _Swirl_?" He nearly fell out of the cart then, Ongakuhana and Kira helping her back up.

"Well," Saso explained, "We're sort of looking for Kisame so we can hear how he got his chakra-mark." Tobi's eyes went wide and he gasped,

"Chakra-marks? Come with Tobi and he'll tell you how he got his!" The other children looked towards Mizuki, Kiro, and Alexandr: the three of them huffing,

"Fine."

"Yay!" Tobi clapped his hands before beginning…

* * *

><p>'Tobi was raised by Mother and Father on the Konoha ore-farms…'<p>

_In order to supply the schools and companies of Konoha with enough raw materials for their work and experiments, someone had to mine for resources. _

_That duty fell onto Tobi's family. Where his mother and father and their employees dug for precious ore and minerals, Tobi (looking much different with his long, gelled-back hair and bifocal-glasses) kept inventory on all the ores and rocks brought in. _

_Someone walked past with a wagon full of diamond-dust. "200 pounds of diamond-dust…" Tobi wrote down. _

_Someone carried two buckets of silver past his booth. "60 pounds of silver…" _

_Next came a box of gold nuggets. "15 pounds of gold…" Ad as Tobi sat there, dressed in black and skin pale as a sheet, no one stopped to even say hi or how have you been. _

'Maybe it was because Tobi didn't do so well on his entrance exams for magic-school, but there was no excess talking… there was no laughing… There were only ores and rocks…'

_A whistle rang out from the main building of the farms, everyone going in for lunch. Tobi only sat down in his booth and sighed, not feeling that hungry for plain rice and roasted, unseasoned fish. _

_He was about to go for a walk and see if he could find anything unusual when the ground began to rumble. Suddenly, a massive explosion shook through the land: a crystal-blue mass moving across the sky and obscuring the sun. _

_However, where Tobi was, the phenomena, like holding a prism to a light, created a massive, shimmering rainbow that shot across the land. The force of the explosion and the rainbow that it made caused a wave of wind to rush through the land and past Tobi; not without frizzing his hair up, knocking off his glasses, and brushing away all the dust on his skin. _

_When the threat was gone, Tobi looked up at the sky, the beautiful rainbow: tears forming in his eyes. _

'Tobi had never seen something so beautiful before! And the _joy_ that it created in Tobi! It was so new, so wonderful! Tobi just wanted to keep smiling forever! But Rainbows are really rare, so Tobi knew he couldn't use that to share his joy…'

"_How can Tobi share this smile with everyone?" Tobi spoke to himself, the smile from the rainbow still on his face. Suddenly, he had an idea: immediately rushing towards the farm warehouse to implement it. _

_The next morning, Tobi's parents and their employees began to file out of the sleeping quarters of the farm in single file; his father announcing, "We'd better move the gold piles to the silver piles and the silver piles to the gold piles…" They all walked, almost zombified, until they heard strange, upbeat music coming from the warehouse. Tobi's mother frowned and called out, _

"_Tobias Madara Uchiha, is that you?" In response, Tobi peeked his head out of the warehouse and called out, _

"_Mother! Father! You and the workers need to get in here, stat!" Everyone looked at each other questioningly but moved into the warehouse anyway. _

_When they got inside, they couldn't believe their eyes. Everything had been decorated in brightly colored paints and streamers, there were cakes and sweets everywhere, and, in the middle of it all, Tobi stood in a short, bright orange kimono. "Surprise!" He called out to everyone, "You like it? Tobi calls it… A party!" _

_Everyone was still in shock at all the color, not knowing how to react. _

_Tobi's smile faded, almost about to tear everything down, "You don't like it…" _

_But, all of a sudden, everyone's faces burst into smiles and laughter, Tobi shrieking, "You like it?" _

"_Yes!" They all whooped before rushing to experience the wonders of the 'party', Tobi beaming, _

"_Thank you! Tobi's so happy!", before he set off a chain of fireworks using some of the ores. When they went off, they were all so distracted by the bright colors that they didn't realize the firework chakra-mark appearing on Tobi's hand. _

* * *

><p>"And that, my kiddies," Tobi smiled as they pulled up next to <em>Swirl<em>, "Is how the world was made!" The cart stopped, Hun blinking in confusion,

"Wait, what?"

"Oh Lookie!" Tobi chimed, interrupting the hell-dog, "We're here!" As they all filed out of the cart, Tobi hummed aloud, "Maybe on the way home, Tobi can tell you how he got his chakra-mark! It's a gem!" As they walked through the door, Alexandr opened his mouth to say something, but Mizuki shook his head: silently warning him against such actions.

Yet, when they walked inside of the bakery, they were in for a real treat as Hun barked out, "Kisame-san!" The shark-demon looked up from the menu that Naruto had and stood up, walking past all his friends as he smiled,

"I've heard that a very special group of children have been looking for my chakra-mark story!"

"Like you would not believe…" Alexandr huffed as he sat down at a table, the other children joining him. Kisame chuckled before he began,

"It was that faithful day with the NEPFBW, the great ocean-race…"

* * *

><p>'I was all ready and willing to fight for Zetsu's honor, no matter how many obstacles were in front of me…'<p>

_Kisame paddled out with his competitors, Zetsu poised with the starting flag. After a few choice words had been exchanged, Zetsu held up the flag, _

"_Ready?" The competitors nodded. "Go!" As soon as the flag rushed down, the three competitors rushed by, knocking Zetsu into the choppy waves. _

_Kisame and the other two water-demons sped and surfed through the waves and past the hazards between: the spires, the blocks of ice, and the moving animals. One of the other competitors had actually tripped up and gotten stuck in a brush of seaweed. _

_But young Kisame sped across the waves with power and ease he didn't even know he was capable of. _

'I had… never moved like that before. The freedom I was experiencing then was like _nothing_ I had ever felt before. The salty water in my hair, the wind rushing past me, the adrenaline…

I was in love…'

_As Kisame had been in his own little sphere of existence, one of the other competitors knocked him off of his board and laughed, "See ya Guppy!" _

"_Hey!" Kisame gritted his sharp teeth, jumping back on the board and speeding after the other. And speed he did, so much that he passed by the other completely. But, something odd was happening… The waves around him were crackling with bright, blue energy that soon surrounded him as well. _

'But apparently, the one thing I loved more than giving my all in a competition of strength and power… Was doing so in defense of someone I cared about…'

_The young shark-demon's shut eyes were watering as he and the wave moved faster, the waters swelling and swelling until Kisame opened his suddenly blue eyes: the wave shooting up into the skies and covering the sun._

'Most people think that the Great-Shark Tsunami is a figment of legends… But on that day, the first time I fought for my friends, I made the legendary come true!'

_The young shark-demon gasped as he saw himself riding the massive wave. For a moment, just a moment, he could have sworn he saw the outline of a massive, three-tailed shark in the waves. But after a few seconds, he was too ecstatic at the deed he had just done and continued to ride the wave back to the NEPFBW: unaware of the twin, tidal-wave chakra marks appearing on his hands._

* * *

><p>"And that kids…" Kisame smiled, showing the very same marks still on both of his hands, "Is how one gets a chakra-mark."<p>

"Wow…" The children all had their eyes on Kisame, mouths open in awe. But, suddenly, Zetsu walked over and stated,

"But, I heard that explosion and saw the effect it had on the sky! Kisame…" He shook his head, "If you hadn't knocked me into the ocean _and_ scared those animals, I never would have found about my special gift!"

"Oh my gosh!" Tobi shrieked, "Tobi heard it too! And there was an _incredible_ rainbow that taught Tobi to smile!"

"When I got my chakra-mark," Kakuzu began before Hidan nudged him, "The night _we_ got our chakra-marks, there was a massive tidal wave—"

"And all these freaky-ass designs in the sky!" Hidan interrupted before gasping, "It must have been _your_ Great Shark Tsunami!" Before Kisame could say anything, he felt himself being hugged from behind. He turned and saw Deidara, the blonde quiet as his body trembled every so often. But Sasori spoke up,

"There was a massive explosion the day I got _my_ chakra-mark too!" Deidara slowly pulled away, wiping tears from his eyes, and whispered,

"Thank you, un… Thank you…"

"Would you believe," Alfred began, "That even way out in the desert, _you_ probably taught me how to fly?"

"And you saved my sisters!" Ivan cried out. The whole time, Sasuke was trying to comprehend what all of this meant, but Itachi laughed,

"This is unbelievable! Kisame, do you know that if it weren't for you, I would've failed my entrance exams? You single-handedly affected all of our lives for the better with one single race!"

"I can't believe this…" Kisame whispered in shock, looking at all of his friends… At least until Kakuzu and Ivan tackled him to the ground. "What the hell?"

"Just showing out gratitude…" Kakuzu smiled, Ivan adding,

"To the demon who was making us all who we are today." While the adults were all talking to one another, Kiro groaned,

"Well, _this_ was a huge waste of time and –"

"Group hug everyone!" Ongakuhana cheered, all the kids coming together to hug each other: despite Kiro's groans and frowns.

* * *

><p><strong>OMAKE<strong>

Being Kisame's assistant had its perks. Naruto had his own large, completely furnished room in the shark-demon's estate and all his living expenses were handled. Dressed in an over-large t-shirt with a chibi dragon on it, Naruto sat at his desk in the room and got out a scroll of paper and a quill.

He quickly dipped the quill inside the ink and began writing,

"Dear Uncle,

Sorry to bother you when I know you're most likely busy, but I wanted to write you and ask how I got my chakra-mark. For the life of me, I can't remember.

Awaiting an answer,

Your nephew Naruto."

He quickly rolled up the letter and scorched it with a plume of orange flames, the same as his chakra-mark, sending it off.

Then he waited.

Not even five minutes later, Naruto coughed out a plume of fire which slowly formed into a letter. He unwrapped it and read,

"'Oh Kit, I'm really sorry you don't remember…

And don't even think that you bother me with these letters, it's not like _I_ have any pleasurable company now of days anyways…

Any who, you got your mark one day when I needed you to deliver a package to Juubi for me. You were _so_ excited, but I couldn't let my favorite little fox go out on his own. So there we were, walking along the streets of Konoha when…

I haven't seen a dance of lights in the sky as amazing as that since, but the sky suddenly went dark like someone had covered it with something… and then all these colorful lights showed up!'" Naruto smiled, "That must have been The Great Shark Tsunami…" He then read on,

"'It shocked you so much, and this is the cute part, that you coughed out a large burst of orange flames that incinerated the package. At first, I almost wanted to scream at the fact that Juubi's delivery had been destroyed. But then I coughed out a letter stating that Juubi had gotten his stupid package! It was great! And when I saw that you had gotten an orange-flame chakra-mark on your hand, it was even greater!

But now that _that's_ over and done with…"

Naruto stopped reading the letter after that; his uncle had the awful tendency to ramble when he wrote. But at least now the blonde could go to bed knowing his own chakra-mark story.

"Maybe tomorrow I'll tell the Teme…" He yawned as he went to bed.


	52. Party Animal Part 1

Early Spring in Adamant Falls… A beautiful sight with animals scurrying about and demons taking chance of the warm mornings to work and stroll about.

Inside the library, Itachi was sweeping the floor of the library when there was a knock at the door. "The library doesn't open for another thirty minutes…" He noted, walking over to open the door and meet with a familiar face, "Oh, good morning Tobi, I—" He was interrupted by a loud horn and Tobi singing,

"_This is your singing telegram, _

_Tobi hopes it finds you well! _

_You're invited to a party, _

'_Cause we think you're really swell!"_, all while swinging Chewy and Spiny, his pet lizards, around.

* * *

><p>"<em>Chewy's turning five years old, <em>

_We'll hope you'll celebrate!"_ Tobi sang to Sasori and Deidara, he, Chewy, and Spiny dressed in cute little suits,

"_The cake will be delicious, _

_The festivities first-rate!"_

* * *

><p>At Gold Leaf Farms, Kakuzu and Hidan could only stand in surprise as they watched the young demon jump around with his pet lizards, small firecrackers popping around him,<p>

"_There will be games and dancing, _

_Bob for apples, _

_Cut a rug! _

_And when we're done, _

_We'll gather all around for a group hug!"_

* * *

><p>By the time he swam down to Kisame's Estate, the joy-demon was feeling a little winded,<p>

"_No need to bring a gift, _

_Being there will be enough..!"_

"Um, do you need a glass of water?" Kisame asked, a bit worried. But Tobi shook his head,

"_Birthdays mean having lots of friends, _

_Not getting lots of stuff…_ Oh…"

* * *

><p>"<em>It won't be the same without you,"<em> Tobi shivered in front of Ivan's mansion,

"_So we hope that you'll say yes..!"_

* * *

><p>And he ended off at Zetsu's cottage, wheezing,<p>

"_So please, please, please RSVP _

_And come and be our guest!"_ Tobi then keeled over, Chewy and Spiny in his arms.

"Tobi!" Zetsu cried out, hurrying to pick the small demon up and get him into bed. When he had been tucked in and Chewy placed on a soft pillow, Tobi coughed,

"Next time Tobi will just send out written invitations…" Before conking out for a quick nap.

* * *

><p>Later that day, <em>Swirl<em> was completely decked out for Chewy's party: all of the invitees inside, dancing, bobbing for treats, drinking, eating, or just talking in the jovial atmosphere.

Kakuzu and Kisame had gotten into a bit of a competition at the bobbing-tub, the brunette dunking his head in and coming up with a rosy-cheeked apple. "Nice…" Kisame nodded, "Now let me show you how it's _really_ done." The shark-demon was about to dive in when Tobi walked over with a tray of small cakes and drinks,

"Hi guys! Tobi's so happy you could all make it to Chewy's party!" Kakuzu chuckled, taking a bite of his apple,

"Like I would have missed it for the world."

"Everyone knows that you throw _amazing_ parties Tobi." Kisame commented before dunking his head into the tub and getting a peach, "Ta-da!"

"Aw… Just fruit?" Tobi pouted, "Tobi made sure to put all sorts of goodies in there!" Then the young demon bounced off, leaving Kisame and Kakuzu wondering exactly what had been put in the tub. Kakuzu dived in again, blinking as he came up with a tennis ball in his mouth. Then Kisame went down… and came up with Chewy gumming away on his nose. The bluenette gently pulled him off before sending him on his way, both water demon's laughing at each other's antics.

* * *

><p>Deidara and Hidan were thoroughly enjoying the cocktail that Tobi had mixed for today's party, Tobi bouncing over and refreshing their glasses. "This drink is <em>divine<em>, un!" Deidara said as he took a long sip, Hidan asking,

"This is the same stuff you made for the Spring Celebration, right?" Tobi grinned and shook his head,

"Nope, this is something new!" At that moment, Ivan walked over, looking for a napkin, when he saw Spiny lounging in the cocktail bowl.

"Um…" He blinked. The action caught Deidara's attention, the bird-demon's eyes going wide in disgust before he spat the liquid in his mouth onto Hidan's face.

"Deidara, seriously?" Hidan frowned as his face now dripped with the drink. But Tobi just kept looking at them all, the two demons and the Baba Yaga slowly taking cups of the drink and taking small sips until Tobi bounced off.

It took all of three seconds for them to rush to the nearest plant and spit out what little they had in their mouths.

* * *

><p>On the small dance-floor, Itachi, Zetsu, and Alfred were dancing: Tobi rushing over to join. "Having fun?" He asked, Itachi nodding,<p>

"A blast!"

"You always throw wonderful parties." Zetsu smiled, twirling Tobi around as Alfred agreed,

"Like that huge welcoming bash you threw for me when I first came to Adamant Falls!" Tobi giggled,

"Parties are only the best when Tobi's friends are there!" Then he jumped into the middle of the group and wildly bumped them all off the floor in his excitement. "Come on you guys, Chewy and Spiny want to join in!"

After gathering themselves after they had crashed into Sasori, the others joined in as everyone moved to the dance-floor around Chewy, the lizards simply flicking their tails as everyone danced around them.

* * *

><p>Tsukuyomi's moon was drifting across the dark, midnight sky when the party was finally dying down. "I haven't partied like that in ages…" Sasori sighed as he helped a tipsy Deidara to his feet outside.<p>

"'Show me the way to go home, everybody'!" Ivan sang, a bit drunk himself, "'I'm tired and I want to go to bed', just the ukes!" Zetsu kissed Tobi's cheek as he walked past the door,

"I had a lovely time. Good night." Itachi was the last to leave, Tobi quietly asking,

"Are you sure you can't stay longer? There's still cake left…" Itachi gave a soft smile, a yawn breaking forth from his lips,

"Sorry, I'm going to have to pass. But this was an amazing party, we should do it again soon." With that, the weasel-demon walked off, not noticing how Tobi's eyes sparkled and he whispered,

"We _should_ do this again soon!", before going inside and making plans.

* * *

><p>The next morning, just as Amaterasu's sun rose from the hills, Itachi was awoken from his sleep by a knocking at the door. His hang-over glazed mind rang out in pain with every knock before he shouted, "Sasuke, get the door!"<p>

The dragon grumbled as he got up from bed and went to the door, wincing as Tobi jumped up and down, cheering, "It's soon! Oh, wait…" He looked around, "Where's Itachi?"

"Oh…" Itachi groaned as he made it to the door, "Tobi, what is it?" Tobi gasped as he saw an opportunity for an even bigger party.

"You said, last night, that we should party again soon! Well, it's soon!" He dug into his pocket and pulled out a slip of paper, "Here you go!" Itachi took the paper and quietly read out,

"'You are invited to Chewy's Un-Birthday Party… Today at three…" Both of the older Uchiha's flinched at the last three words, Sasuke asking,

"Three o'clock? _This_ afternoon?" Tobi nodded,

"With ice cream, and cake, drinking, and dancing –"

"Oh…" Itachi coughed out before bringing his hands behind his back, snapping his fingers, "We would _love_ to, but I just remembered that Rokubi has asked me to research a new potion for him. A very…" He looked back to see all the books that had floated onto the tables, "_Rare_, and _powerful_ potion. I'm going to have to really hit the books!"

"Oh…" Tobi looked at the stacks before nodding, "Tobi understands, studies are really important! Especially when they're for a Celestial!" He began to bounce off, talking about how he would make sure to save Itachi and Sasuke some cake when he sped back, "You really shouldn't _hit_ books though…"

"We'll keep that in mind…" Sasuke waved the joy-demon off.

* * *

><p>Kakuzu and Hidan were busy trying to cut down a tree that had caught a fungus when Tobi popped his head down from the branches, stating, "Who's ready to shake their tails at Chewy's Un-Birthday Party this afternoon?"<p>

"Uh…" Both farm-working demons gulped, looking at each other to come up with an excuse. Finally, Kakuzu cleared his throat,

"Tobi, we kind of have to clear out this fungus here, otherwise you won't have any apples or fruit for your cakes and pies." Tobi gasped,

"Oh no! You're right, Tobi can't run a fruitless bakery!" He jumped out of the fungus-filled tree, "Don't worry, a party's still a party; no matter how few people are there!" Then he bounced off, the stitch-demon and the cat-demon sighing in relief before they got back to work.

"A little further…" Deidara hummed as Naruto dragged a box of old, expired cosmetic ingredients to the curb. When the Kitsune yelped as some of the lotion-bases splashed on him, Sasori called out,

"Perfect!"

"That's right this is perfect!" The three turned when a familiar happy voice chimed into their ears, seeing Tobi holding up a basket of invitations, "You can all get your invitations to Chewy's Un-Birthday Party today!" Naruto immediately frowned,

"Today..?" That caused Tobi to hum aloud,

"Huh, it's weird, _everyone_ today has had that reaction so far."

"Have they really?" Sasori coughed, discretely moving over to Naruto, "I'm sure such a party would be to _die_ for, but unfortunately…" He gave a none too gentle nudge to Naruto's back, sending the young blonde falling chest first onto the box of ingredients: ruining his clothes,

"Hey, I liked this yukata!"

"We'll be too occupied making Naruto a brand new set of clothes!" Sasori insisted, grabbing the Kitsune and rushing inside as Deidara offered,

"Time is of the essence, un!", before shutting the door and leaving Tobi to think of who else he could try and invite.

* * *

><p>"<em>This<em> afternoon?" Kisame asked, Zetsu frowning as the joy-demon with the basketful of invitations slowly nodded,

"_Yes…_ The afternoon of today, _this_ afternoon!"

"Tobi…" Zetsu began, "We would really like to, but… we're…"

"Giving swimming lessons to the poor and under-privileged of Adamant Sea City!" Kisame interjected, Zetsu shaking his head. And before Tobi could ask, Kisame looked at the sky and said, "Look at the time! We have to go, don't want to leave those kids waiting! Come on Zetsu!" Kisame grabbed the plant-demon's arm and jumped into the ocean.

When he was alone, Tobi slumped his shoulders and sighed, "Oh… They were the only ones left. And Tobi tried to invite Ivan and Alfred but they didn't answer their door. Although," He thought for a second, "Tobi could have sworn he heard whispering from inside… Oh well…" And with that, he slowly walked home.

* * *

><p>However, as soon as he got into the door of the bakery and Chewy and Spiny began climbing on his arms, the joy-demon thought, "This is weird. Something's going on in Adamant Falls Chewy! Really, Kisame and Zetsu doing deeds of charity is awesome and believable, but what are the chances of everyone <em>else<em> not being able to come to this party?"

Chewy licked the young Uchiha's nose.

"You're right! Those all sounded like _excuses…_" Tobi nodded. A flash of red caught his attention and he moved towards the window, pressing his face against it to see Itachi walking around town: earnestly keeping an eye around himself. "That doesn't look like studying…" Tobi frowned, "_Or_ hitting!"

* * *

><p>Itachi met up with Sasuke in the largest grocery store in town, the dragon asking, "Were you followed?" Itachi shook his head,<p>

"No. And we need to stay quiet or else Tobi will find us out." The brothers nodded to each other before walking to the back of the store. When they were gone, Tobi popped out of a display-case of cereal and bit his lip, worrying,

"What wouldn't they want Tobi to find out?" Tobi quietly followed the two, careful not to pop out anywhere close to them, until they followed one of the store's employees into a backroom. Tobi was forced to lean against the door to try and hear what was going on, but he could only make out bits and pieces:

"… Big enough?"

"It's wonderful… Can't let Tobi…"

"…Ruin everything…"

"What..?" Tobi whimpered. Okay, now things were getting unnerving. So he reached into his pocket and brought out a silly mask that he put on, continuing with his silent pursuit of his cousins.

* * *

><p>He followed them until they got to Sasori and Deidara's, Naruto coming out and asking, "Did Tobi see you?"<p>

"I don't think so." Itachi replied before Sasuke handed Naruto a rolled up slip of paper,

"All the information is on that."

"Good," Naruto nodded, "I'll get this to Sasori and Deidara immediately." Tobi waited inside a bird's nest of a nearby tree (a tight fit, but Tobi managed) for the brothers to leave, and when they did, Deidara (in bird-form) flew out of the house with the paper in his talons.

"Oh _no_ you don't!" Tobi pouted, jumping out of the tree to chase the golden bird down.

Deidara landed in an alleyway and shifted back into normal-form, waiting for something or someone. It turned out to be Zetsu, the plant-demon walking over and asking, "Tobi isn't around, is he?"

"No, I'm too good of a flier when I want to be." Deidara laughed with a toss of his hair, not knowing at all that Tobi was watching them both from a nearby roof-top. "Can you _believe_ that he wanted to throw a, what was it even, an _Un_-Birthday Party today?" Zetsu nodded,

"I'm just happy that I was able to get out of it."

"I know," Deidara smirked, "This is going to be _so_ much better!" After that, the roll of paper exchanged hands and Deidara flew off, Zetsu disappearing into the ground via another vine-cocoon.

Poor Tobi, the joy-demon was feeling none too joyful as he whispered, "Tobi thought everyone _loved_ his parties…" His big, brown eyes were getting watery, tears threatening to fall –

"Hi Tobi!" Alfred called up as he passed by with Kisame and Ivan, all three of them carrying large packages. But as soon as Kisame realized what Alfred had just done, he gulped,

"Oh shit." Before they rushed off, Tobi jumping from the roof and yelling,

"Wait!"

"Quick!" Ivan shouted, "Split up!" The three males did just that, Ivan disappearing in a whirl of wind and reappearing behind the school-building. He panted a bit, trying to catch his breath. Suddenly, from underneath his scarf, Tobi popped his head out and screamed,

"WHY DIDN'T YOU WANT TO COME TO CHEWY'S PARTY?" Ivan screamed in shock, disappearing and leaving Tobi on the ground.

* * *

><p>Alfred had flown up to the highest tree in the forests surrounding Adamant Falls and was exhausted. So he was happy that someone was on the tree branch to lend him a hand. "Thanks…" He panted, but his eyes went wide once he realized it was Tobi. The joy-demon looked to the package and screamed,<p>

"WHAT'S IN THE BOX?" Alfred yelped, speeding off towards Goldleaf Farms.

* * *

><p>Kakuzu had been busy, checking off specific things on a check-list when he saw Kisame running towards him, screaming, "Code-Pumpkin! Code-Pumpkin!" Kakuzu raised an eyebrow but gulped when he saw Tobi chasing the poor shark down.<p>

He waited for Kisame to rush into the barn before following, slamming the door behind the two. Tobi growled as he got to the barn door, banging on it, "TOBI KNOWS YOU'RE IN THERE!" Kakuzu silently opened the door…

Just to slip a sign on it that read 'Construction-Site, No Trespassing'. Tobi frowned, leaning in to hear Hidan hiss, "Construction-noises people!" Then there were the horribly attempted sounds of industry from inside for a few minutes, Hidan calling out, "Oh wow, you wouldn't _believe_ the type of construction going on in here!"

Tobi narrowed his eyes, not amused in the least. But after a few more minutes he slowly walked, backwards, away.

Oh, he would find out what was going on today if it _killed_ someone!

And it wouldn't necessarily be him…


	53. Party Animal Part 2

Chewy and Spiny sat on the ground watching their master pace across the sidewalk in front of _Swirl_, growling, "It's always secrets and lies with those demons! Secrets and _LIES_!" He twirled a bit of hair around his finger, "They're up to something they don't want Tobi to know about? Oh, the _nerve!_ Tobi _will_ find out about it, oh yeah! Because Tobi may be random, but he _isn't_ dumb!"

* * *

><p>In an hour, Tobi had prepared a whole roasted pig glazed in a thick, honey-sauce with an apple stuck in its mouth. It sat, like a holy idol, on the table in <em>Swirl's<em> party room in front of Tobi's prime witness.

"Wow…" Hun panted, eyes wide at the succulent animal, "Is this all for me?" Tobi giggled at the hell-dog's reaction,

"Mm-hm! All you have to do…" He seized a lamp from a nearby counter and shined its light directly into Hun's face, a smirk on his face, "Is talk."

"Sure!" Hun wiped the gathering drool from his mouth before he began, "My hobbies include chasing squirrels, fishing, chasing my tail: I think I've figured out how to finally get it—"

"No!" Tobi hissed, "Talk about Tobi's friends!" Hun blinked in confusion, but another look at the roasted pig made him begin,

"Well, there's Kisame… Itachi… Kakuzu…"

"No!" Tobi brought over a mirror so Tobi could see himself, growling, "Confess…"

"Confess what?" Hun whimpered. Really, all of this for a meal? "Tell me what you want me to say and I'll say it!" Tobi screamed, punching his fist into the mirror: oblivious to the blood and cuts he received from the action,

"Confess that Tobi's friends are lying to him and deceiving him because they _hate_ his parties and they don't want to be around Tobi anymore!" Hun gulped before reciting, exactly as he had been told,

"Your friends are lying to you because they hate your parties and don't want to be around you anymore?"

"Ah-HAH!" Tobi exclaimed in triumph but he soon meeped, "Uh-oh.", as he realized his mistake.

Joy-demons were a unique species of demon. Their main purpose in life was to bring joy to those around them, making themselves happier in return.

But they were _incredibly_ susceptible to mood-swings and the influence of bad atmospheres. When this would happen, a joy-demon's persona, appearance, their whole sense of being could change in an instant.

Tobi groaned, clutching at his stomach in pain as he fell to the ground. "No…" He sobbed, his voice getting deeper and more solemn as his nails grew out, his hair grew down to his waist, and finally, his eyes went from wide and brown to narrow and red.

No longer was Tobi there in the bakery, but his depressed state that his parents had dubbed Madara. "My friends don't like my parties and they don't want to be around me anymore…"

"Um…" Hun blinked, not really knowing what had just happened, "Can I eat now?" Madara frowned before taking the platter that held the roasted pig and set it on a bench outside, telling Hun,

"Help yourself…" Before he slammed the door on the small hell-dog's face.

* * *

><p>Inside of <em>Swirl<em>, Madara's eyes were manic as he looked around the table he had set and looked around at his guests, "Thank you all _so_ much for coming! Me _and_ CHEWY," In this state, Madara had a bit of trouble controlling his voice and body-motions, swinging his head at random moments, "App_reciate_ IT! So much…"

The guests actually turned out to be a sack of flour, a dust-bunny, a pile of rocks, and a bucket of turnips. Madara's eyes twitched as the room was silent, Chewy crawling off of his chair and Spiny biting her tail. Madara cleared his throat before throwing his voice over to the turnip bucket, "Could I have some more punch?" He nodded, "Of _course_ Turnip-san!" Madara rushed off and got the bucket a glass, twitching as he set it down.

He moved over to the pile of rocks, "This sure is a swell party Maddy! You outdone yourself!" Madara smiled, "Thanks Rocky! You're a real knock-out!"

"_I_ am having a sublime time as well." He had the dust-bunny speak before laughing, "I'm glad Lady Lintel!"

"Like, whose leg do you have to hump to get a slice of cake around here?" He moved the sack of flour around before laughing, "Hold your horses Lindsey Flourhan!", and giving the sack a plate of cake.

"I'm just glad none of them other demons are here!" 'Rocky' stated, Madara chuckling, "Oh, come now! They aren't _SO_ bad… Hee hEe HeE…" He gritted his teeth through his giggles, eyes dilating as he sunk further into his delusion. "Not so bad?" 'Rocky' huffed, "That bunch of losers?"

"And that's putting things nicely," Lady Lintel purred, "After the way they've treated you!" Madara hummed, wondering aloud,

"They were pretty rude…"

"Like, awful!" Lindsey Flourhan slammed her corner against the table, Turnip-san agreeing,

"You should never speak with them again!" Madara nodded, looking around with red, manic, sparkling eyes,

"You know what? _Why_ should I? I don't think that they should come to my parties anymore either!" The 'guests' all whooped and cheered as Madara nodded to himself and his awesome decision.

There was a knock at the door, Madara blinking, "Who's that? Who? WHO? _Who~!_" The door opened, Kisame walking in and calling out,

"Hey Tobi, sorry about that mess earlier: me and the others had to get to Kakuzu's barn to help with that construction."

Madara just blinked at him.

"Yeah…" Kisame gulped, feeling the atmosphere becoming creepily intense with every second. "So, could you come with me to Goldleaf Farms real quick? I have something you need to—"

"_CHEWY~!"_ Madara cried out, even though the lizard was near the other side of the room, "You got a stripper? How cute~!"

"Stripper?" Kisame blinked, gulping again as Madara sidled up to him: trailing fingers up and down his side,

"Oh, you a big, strong, blue one, aren't you?" Madara looked at the shark-demon's pants before smirking, "Time to take 'em off big boy!" When he felt the other try and pull at his pants, he pulled away.

"I NEED AN ADULT!" Kisame shouted, breaking from Madara's grasp and speeding out the door. To hell with this, someone else could come get Tobi: he was acting so weird! But Madara growled before charging after the shark-demon and jumping on his back, insisting,

"Come on, I'm pretty!"

"Tobi, get off!" Kisame begged, still rushing towards Goldleaf Farms.

"Why don't you _LOVE_ me?" Madara mock-sobbed, wrapping his arms and legs around Kisame's chest tighter: ensuring his grip.

"I have _NO_ idea what's going on right now~!" Kisame groaned. Luckily, even with Tobi molesting him, he soon made it to Goldleaf Farms and tried to open the door, "Help me!"

"Surprise..!"

"What the hell is going on here?" Itachi dead-panned as he saw his cousin nomming all over Kisame's neck. But Madara looked around before jumping up and shouting,

"Look at _you_! _I_, the pretty-pretty princess of Cupcake-land, should be asking _you_," Everyone in the group shrunk back as Madara smiled, eyes twitching, at them, "What the _HELL_ is going on here?"

"We're throwing you a party?" Zetsu meeped, slightly scared. He had never seen Tobi act like _this_ before. Madara gave a forceful laugh,

"Oh, hah, _hah_, HAH! I see what this is!" He turned and saw all the decorations and food, "A 'Get the fuck out Tobi' party? Well guess what bitches? I AIN'T LEAVING!" He whipped his head around and his eyes landed on the orange cake that had been made. "Ahh, I'm going to fuck up your cake!" The demon squished his hands into the cake before he rolled around in it. Then, as a final blow, he rubbed his butt into it laughing, "How do you like _them_ apples?"

"I am _so_ confused right now…" Ivan frowned, Kisame wiping his neck and gritting out,

"How do you think _I_ feel?" But after seeing their friend mutter to himself, scream sporadically, and try and make a cake-angel, Hidan walked over and said,

"Tobi… Calm down." Madara only meeped, sitting on his knees, "Now, _why_ do you think this is a party for you to leave?"

"_Why?_" Madara growled, then he thought, "Why..? Sigh… LIE!" He jumped up and pointed at the members of the group, "This cake is a _lie_! You all and this… party! When you're all full of secrets! And _LIES!_"

"Tobi…" Zetsu gently spoke, padding over, "We only kept things from you because we wanted this party, _your_ party to be special…"

"Special for me to leave…" Madara sneered. Finally, Itachi stated,

"If this was a going away party, then why on earth would we have _this_?" Madara turned just as Itachi, Alfred, Deidara, and Naruto tugged a sheet off of a large mass. Madara's red eyes went wide as he saw a life-sized, chocolate-statue version of Tobi with a white chocolate plaque that read:

'Happy Birthday Tobi'

Madara bit his lip, looking at the presents on the table… the streamers… the balloons… the statue…

"Oh." He said.

There was a flash of orange light and when it abated, Tobi grabbed all of his friends into a great big, group hug. "Tobi can't believe he forgot his own birthday! Huggles!"

Everyone gave a huge sigh of relief, especially when Tobi let them go. The joy-demon pouted when he looked at his bottom, "Anyone want ass-frosting?"

Kakuzu, Zetsu, Sasori, and Ivan all turned red, coughing and clearing their throats until Zetsu offered, "Maybe you should just open your presents or get something to drink." Tobi nodded but he still felt a bit sad.

"Tobi's sorry for acting so paranoid today…"

"It's alright," Itachi offered, "It happens to the best of us." Everyone agreed until Alfred said,

"Alright, enough chatter! Dance-time!" Sasuke turned the music-system on and the party was officially on: everyone coming to the main area to dance. Even Chewy Spiny managed to crawl their way from the bakery to the barn.

Oh, it just goes to show all of us that we shouldn't allow ourselves to become so swamped in work that it turns us into psychopathic weirdoes.

Right?

That's the lesson, right?

"Who knows." Itachi muttered, "Does it really matter?"

No, I… Guess not.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**Thanks for reading! Please review!**

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	54. The Best Night of Our Lives Part 1

**A/N: Yes, the event that everyone has been waiting for is finally here! So, rather than me bore you to death with this note, let's get reading. **

**By the way, important note here: for this story (the sequel is happening, I got more than enough reviews asking me for the sequel), but for _this_ story, this will be the last update based on an episode. I have tried time and time again to see if I could do one for 'Show Stoppers', but really... That episode irritates the living crap out of me. There will be a few more chapters, just not with that episode. My apologies.**

**Big shout out to...: elric0sis, darkdragonalucard, Waterbomb22, izzy1229anime, Zetsu's Rose, YaoiPhox, Alexa Hiwatari, and FMJ26! Yay!**

* * *

><p>"Ah!" Tobi shrieked between jumps as he shot up into the air via his trusty trampoline. Because, really, who <em>doesn't<em> have a trusty trampoline handy at all times. "Tobi! Can't! Believe! That the! Shooting! Star! Ball! Is! Tonight!"

Meanwhile, on the porch of GlazeFeather Boutique, Itachi was gritting his teeth as he tried to focus on the book in front of him. "Tobi, I know you're excited but could you _please_ stop yelling? I need to concentrate…"

A few moments later, Deidara walked out of the back door of the house and shook his head upon seeing the joy-demon, "Tobi, it's time to get ready for the ball! So stop playing, un! If you put on your clothes while you're all sweaty, danna will pitch a fit!" Tobi frowned, stopping mid-air from his jump and then slowly walking off of the device.

He walked over to where Sasuke was leaning against the doorjamb and asked, "What's Itachi doing?"

"A new spell that he's been working on especially for the ball." The dragon replied. Before Tobi could pester anymore, Deidara gave an angry chirp,

"Where are the others? It's getting late, un…"

"Cool your tail-feathers!" Everyone (aside from Itachi) looked over and saw the rest of the gang coming towards the house, Hidan rolling his eyes, "We're here already and –"

"Perfect!" Itachi exclaimed, slamming his book shut: Hidan hissing,

"If _one _more person interrupts me before I'm done speaking, I swear to Jashin I will claw their fucking faces off!" It seemed like the albino would be ignored as Sasuke tossed a pearl over to his brother: Itachi setting it on the ground.

"Ooh…" Alfred awed and slowly moved his hand over until Ivan slapped it away, muttering,

"Do not touch."

Itachi made sure that the area was quiet before forming three simple and then four complex hand-signs. A bolt of red energy shot forth from his body to the pearl, the small gem shifting and changing until it had taken the form of a large, attractive, pearl-coated carriage.

"Wow…" Kisame whistled before patting Itachi on the shoulder, "Is there anything you can't do?"

"Stop it," Itachi shook the shark's compliment off, "But that's only the beginning. Zetsu," The plant-demon jerked at his name being called, "Did you bring your friends?" The green-haired demon nodded before reaching into his pockets and pulling out a group of shining beetles.

"Are you sure they'll be alright?" He asked, Itachi nodding,

"You have my word." He then performed the same hand-signs, the red energy reappearing to surround the beetles and grow them into larger, shinier versions of their former selves. "Ta-da!" The brunette panted, everyone else either coughing nervously, averting their eyes, or giving the weasel-demon a sympathy comment or two. "And they'll be bugs again by midnight tonight!"

Unbeknownst to the group, Opal had been crawling about the window. Imagine her luck and surprise when she saw the feast that was scuttling about the backyard. She flung herself towards the beetles, the frightened insects rushing off in fear.

"No!" Itachi shouted, "Those beetles were supposed to pull our carriage! How are we going to get to the ball?"

"Whatever shall we do~?" Kakuzu sighed in a mocking voice before punching Kisame in the shoulder. The bluenette blinked at first before he realized,

"Oh yeah! Just give me a few minutes and I can call a carriage-rental company to see if they have spare horses to –" Before he could finish, the backdoor of the boutique slammed open: a frightened Naruto standing behind a livid Sasori; the scorpion-demon gritting out,

"You. Inside. _NOW!_"

* * *

><p>A young demoness had a bag filled with things for a relaxing spa-date as she walked to the Rolling Waves Spa. However, when she got to the doors of the facility, she was met with two of the spa attendants saying, "Sorry! The spa is all booked up for the day!"<p>

"Please make an appointment for tomorrow!"

* * *

><p>Inside the spa, Deidara was busy working on Itachi, Hidan, and Alfred's hair all at once while Sasori gave all of their clothes one more starch and press. Tobi had been too busy playing with the hair dryers while Naruto was being forced to sit still on a chair as the vermillion polish on his nails dried. After a while, though, he stood and shouted,<p>

"I'm done sitting here Deidara!"

"Ugh, fine!" Deidara groaned as he focused on combing the matts out of Kakuzu's hair.

"Fuck!" The stitch-demon shouted out in pain as Deidara yanked out a vicious knot. "Watch it…"

"Comb your hair once in a while…" The blonde sighed, keeping up his actions. As everyone else was busy preparing for the night, Naruto smiled,

"Can you believe we're all going to be in Konoha tonight? I can't wait to show you guys all the places I used to hang out at when I lived there!" Sasori handed him his kimono, "But the _best_ part is that we'll be hanging out together all night!" Kisame who, under Deidara's supervision, was running some holding gel through his hair, sighed,

"Um… I don't know Naruto…" Sasori rolled in the rest of the outfits and added,

"We'll just have to see…"

"Tonight shall be a busy night for all of us…" Ivan explained as he tried and tried _and tried_ to keep that one curl of Alfred's hair down; just for it to pop back up in defiance every time. Tobi giggled as he shook his hair, all of it frizzing back out,

"A busy night of _fun!_"

"Oh…" Naruto whispered, his ears drooping, "Okay then…" He was about to go get dressed when Sasuke placed a hand on his shoulder and offered,

"Don't worry about them: I'm not really that sociable, so I'll keep you company." That caused a smile to grow on the Kitsune's face.

"Good… I have _so_ many things I want you all to see…"

* * *

><p>True to his word, Kisame had ordered a fine carriage. The only thing wrong with it was that it was a dolphin-drawn coach so they had to take the upstream river-path to Konoha. One of the collared dolphins that was pulling the coach called inside, "How is everything in there Hoshigaki-sama?"<p>

"Just keep pulling…" Kisame's voice gritted out, "You have _no_ idea how much chakra I'm using to keep the river's current flowing backwards…"

True to form, the dolphin's soon had the coach being led by the valet service to a suitable riverside parking spot. "Grand stop: The Shooting Star Ball!" One of the dolphin's called out. The door of the coach opened, the passengers filing out (more than happy to get some walking room). The two dolphin's blinked in awe at the demons that walked out two by two, "You all look amazing…"

But the group was hardly listening: they had already had their eyes glued on the Celestials' Crystal Palace. But being there, walking up the golden-hewn paths, and being among all those important legendary creatures… It was almost like they had stepped from reality into a dream.

A dream that only got better once Naruto stated, "We got here just in time too!"

They had arrived just in time to see the ten Celestials walk into the ballroom of the palace, signaling the start of the special event.

"Oh my Jashin its Nibi!" Hidan almost failed at holding back his shriek as the two-tailed cat-deity walked up beside Yonbi: the prior dressed in a dark, dark, _dark_ outfit that covered her entire body like a shroud.

Kisame and Itachi gasped as they watched Sanbi and Rokubi walking up to the palace gates: each dressed to the nine, Sanbi in more of the rare, sapphire-leather and Rokubi in a kimono the same shifting color of lightning.

And Tobi giggled as Zetsu shivered in excitement, too shy to scream out at seeing Hachibi No Hachimata, the eight-tailed snake-deity of nature. Hachibi smiled and whistled a soft tune, all sorts of birds flying through the courtyards to place flowers and such in his long, green hair before flying towards the holy gardens.

And if you thought Sanbi or Yonbi would be the ones to act up in this procession, you'd be _so_ wrong. After the other nine (Ichibi, Nibi, Sanbi, Gobi, Rokubi, Shichibi, Hachibi, _and_ Juubi) were in, there was a shout of, "Wait a minute!" Naruto laughed as Kyuubi No Kitsune rushed after his fellow deities: his wild, vermillion hair whipping all over the place just like his nine fox-tails.

Everyone in the courtyard applauded after the procession was done, some beginning to venture inside of the castle. "Pinch me," Ivan asked, "For I must be having a wonderful dream…" Itachi agreed,

"I can't believe we're finally here! With all that we've put into our preparations, this can be _nothing_ but _The Best Night of Our Lives_!" A group of smartly dressed demoness and fairies walked by, singing along as Itachi began,

"_At the Ball, _

_At the Ball…"_ Before Zetsu began,

"_At the Ball, _

_In the Gardens, _

_I'm going to see them all... _

_All the creatures, _

_I'll befriend them at the Ball..." _

* * *

><p>In his mind, he imagined himself sitting in the middle of the rare fruit trees of the holy gardens, animals from all over coming to visit him,<p>

"_All the birds, _

_And the critters, _

_They will love me big and small... _

_We'll become best friends forever, _

_Here, now, at the Ball..."_

* * *

><p>He readjusted the hood on his cloak, trying to slow the smiles on his face as a group of gryphins walked by, singing,<p>

"_All our dreams will come true, _

_Right here at the Ball, _

_At the Ball..." _

* * *

><p>"<em>At the Ball, <em>

_We will sell them, _

_All our homemade goods and eats..."_ Kakuzu sang, dressed in that stunning green, gold-stitched kimono.

* * *

><p>"<em>Tempura, <em>

_Onigiri, _

_Don't forget the sweets!"_ Hidan added as he imagined hundreds of demons lining up to by the best that Goldleaf Farms had to offer.

* * *

><p>"And we'll earn a lot of money,<p>

For me and my family..." Kakuzu belted out, imagining the massive pile of money that would come from this night. The palace guards marched towards the crystal monument, singing,

* * *

><p>"<em>All our dreams and our hopes, <em>

_From now on to hereafter, _

_All that we've been wishing for will happen at the Ball... _

_At the Ball..." _

* * *

><p>Our two favorite fashionistos walked up, hand in hand, Sasori adjusting his hat as he sang, <em>"At the Ball, <em>

_All the royals, _

_Will meet fair demons we... _

_They will see we're just as regal at the Ball..."_ Sasori imagined him and Deidara strolling right into the palace, those already inside gasping in awe,

"_At the Ball..."_, Before the gold-clad Deidara sang,

"_There we'll find them, _

_A noble lady,"_ Said demoness smiled as she beckoned the two over,

"_So charitable she shall be... _

_she will hear our hopes tonight…"_

* * *

><p>They both sighed,<p>

"_Here, now, at the Ball..." _

"_This is what we've waited for, _

_To have the best night ever,"_ A family of elves sang as they walked the red carpet,

"_All of us will live our dreams, right here at the Ball... _

_At the Ball..."_

* * *

><p>Suddenly, there was a flourish of trumpets and drums before everyone looked to the river to see Lord Sanbi's Royal Guard rushing through it: their captain shouting out, "Formation 220!" Two of them dove under water before freezing a patch of water, lifting it up, and carrying the other members of the guard. Once they had rushed by, Kisame had to sing,<p>

_"Been dreaming,_

_I've been waiting,_

_To work with those great demons!"_

* * *

><p>He imagined himself dressed up in that stunning blue armor, marching down the palace paths, <em>"The Royal Guard, their daring feats, <em>

_Training up, doing great deeds!_

_Be seen by crowds of thousands... _

_They'll shower us with diamonds!"_

* * *

><p>Back in real time, he clenched his fist in determination as he decided, with firm resolution, <em>"Lord Sanbi will find me worthy at the Ball!"<em>

"_All we've come for, all we've dreamed, _

_Our happy ever-afters!"_ A group of mermen and mermaids sang as they walked along the red carpet,

"_Finally will all come true tonight at the Ball..._

_At the Ball..."_ Suddenly, out of the crowds, Tobi began bouncing along as he sang, dressed in his pumpkin-candy orange gothic-Lolita dress,

"_Tobi's here at the Shooting Star Ball! _

_For it is the best party! _

_The only thing that it was missing _

_Was a demon named Tobi!"_

* * *

><p><em>"Tobi is the best at parties, all demons will agree!"<em> Tobi sang as he imagined himself happily dancing and frolicking with the other ball-goers.

"_Demons laughing, demons dancing! _

_With Tobi at the Ball~!"_

As the joy-demon bounced by, more guests singing, _"Happiness and laughter at the Ball... _

_At the Ball..."_

* * *

><p>Back at the red carpet, Ivan held a camera in his hands: lavender eyes wide as he saw all the celebrities and nobles walking down the pathway. <em>"Stories read to me at bed-time, <em>

_Cannot compare to this... _

_The Ball with all its nobles and a stunning guest list!"_

"_With creatures of all beauties from all reaches of the land,"_ The white-clad Baba Yaga bowed lightly as he walked up to a dragoness and kissed her hand: the noble giggling behind a gem-encrusted fan.

"_Just to meet, to talk, to mingle... _

_Oh, for one of them to shake my hand..."_

"_From our homes and castles from all over the world…"_ Some flying-demons who were landing sang,

"_Tonight we all come together right here at the Ball... _

_At the Ball..."_

* * *

><p>"<em>They can keep their streamers, <em>

_They can keep their smoke and lights,"_ Alfred smiled as he snuck over to one of the palace hallways,

"_I'm here for one reason! _

_One thing will make this night just right!"_ The Trickster Spirit gasped as a gold and silver carriage road up to the red carpet. The door was opened by a valet and a young Trickster who bore a striking resemblance to Alfred walked out dressed in a silver gown, his wavy hair held back by a silver band.

"_My dearest baby brother…"_ Alfred whispered but a frown almost ruined his joyous expression when a tall albino with messy hair dressed in silver armor jumped out of the carriage to accompany the blonde,

"_Here tonight with his lover…"_, Alfred sighed,

"_Dances in Snow please wait for me at the Ball..." _

"_Meeting those we've missed so at the Ball..."_ More guests walked by and sang,

"_At the Ball..." _

* * *

><p>It seemed as Tsukuyomi wanted this night to be all the more special; the beautiful full moon looming overhead. It was the spectacle that Sasuke was looking up at as he sang, <em>"I hardly look up to you, <em>

_But tonight I'm begging... _

_I have such a task up for me, _

_I need your divine help with it..."_ He dug into his pockets and brought out a small velvet box. Inside, a beautiful diamond ring that he had used all of his spare money to by twinkled up at him.

"_This beautiful ring in my hand!" _He looked over to the coach to see Naruto readjusting his sandals,

"_The stunning blonde across the way! _

_Please let him have it in to take the name Uchiha..!"_

* * *

><p>There was a loud cry, akin to thunder, as Rokubi's pet thunderbird Aka flew across the night sky: a trail of lightning following her. Itachi smiled at the wondrous sight before singing, <em>"At the Ball, with Rokubi, <em>

_Is where I'm going to be! _

_We will talk all about magic, _

_The things I've learned and seen!"_

* * *

><p>Itachi happily imagined himself standing on the balcony of the palace with Rokubi: the weasel-deity listening intently to all of his recollections. <em>"This night will be so special, <em>

_As he takes time just for me..."_

* * *

><p>Back in real-time, the crowds of guests sang in unison, <em>"This will be the best night ever~!"<em> Afterwards, they all began to move into the palace en mass,

"_Into the Ball, we must go, _

_We're ready and we're all a-glow! _

_Into the Ball, now let's go in _

_And have the best night ever! _

_Into the Ball, now's the time! _

_We're ready and we look divine!"_

"_Into the Ball –"_ Itachi sang, Zetsu walking beside him,

"_Meet new friends! _

_Into the Ball –"_ Kakuzu and Hidan walked up,

"_Make some money! _

_Into the Ball –"_ Sasori and Deidara caught up and added,

"_Find a rich noble!"_ Then Kisame walked over and took Itachi's hand, singing,

"_Prove my worth to Lord Sanbi!" _

"_To meet—_

_To sell—_

_To find—_

_To prove—_

_To whoop—_

_To see—_

_To reunite—_

_To propose..."_

With a flourish of trumpets, everyone sang together, _"Here at the Ball~!_

_Here at the Ball~! _

_It will be the best night of our lives!"_ Shichibi smiled at all of the guests before he waved a wand, two orbs of silver energy rising into the air before exploding into clouds of shimmering stardust.

"_Here at the Ball!"_

* * *

><p>"Yeah!" Naruto whooped as he walked over to his friends, all of them looking around the palace in anticipation. "This really <em>is<em> going to be the best night of our lives! We're going to hang out together and—Ah!" He yelped as everyone rushed to different parts of the palace, leaving him to sigh, "Or not…"

* * *

><p>There, on the highest, crystal staircase of the palace, Rokubi stood watching over the festivities from afar. Scarlet and black fabric rippled through the air as Itachi rushed over and up the many, <em>many<em> stairs… "Rokubi-sama…" He panted. The weasel-deity smiled,

"Itachi, my lovely apprentice, how wonderful to see you here!"

"Oh, I'm so excited to be here!" Itachi replied, "We have _so_ much to catch up on!" Rokubi chuckled, waving an arm besides him,

"Well, I want you by my side all night so I can hear everything." Itachi practically beamed as he rushed to stand beside his role-model.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." He quietly stated, watching the party-goers below.

* * *

><p>Sasori, looking smart in his wine-red suit, walked through the elegantly draped hallway Deidara looking radiant in his golden gown. As Sasori watched the crowds, looking at what was new in the fashion world, Deidara gasped and pointed across the room, "Danna, look!"<p>

An old demoness in a splendid gown was walking out onto the patio, a diamond-studded cane in her hand.

"Hurry Deidara!" Sasori whispered as they both ran after her, but then Deidara whispered,

"But not too fast, un!" Sasori bit his lip as they slowed. But he soon shook his head,

"We can't lose her!"

"We should play it cool, un!" Deidara frowned.

"But not be cold!" Sasori gritted out before they walked out to the patio. "Oh…" He whispered to his blonde fiancée, "It's just like we dreamed!" The old demoness chuckled as she gave a more than generous tip to the maid who brought her a drink.

"Even _better_ un…" Deidara smiled as they both moved closer.

A small bird with brown feathers and a yellow breast flew by, singing lightly. "Oh," Zetsu whispered as he saw it, "A meadowlark!" As he followed it into the holy gardens, he heard a bright and happy whistling. "Oh! I think she's calling me! It's _exactly_ what I wished for!" He then sang out,

"_Hello there new friend…"_

The whistle sounded again, Zetsu happily walking further into the gardens.

* * *

><p>"Easy…" Kakuzu grunted as he and Hidan pushed a large wagon into the center of the palace courtyard. When they were at the perfect position so that everyone could see them, Hidan slammed his fist on the wagon: the wagon folding out into a full-on mini-store of all the best foods from Goldleaf Farms.<p>

As soon as the store went up, who should rush over but the captain of Lord Sanbi's Royal Guard. "Aw, sweet!" He smiled as he looked, wide-eyed, at all the food.

"Hey there!" Hidan greeted, Kakuzu asking,

"You hungry?"

"Most avariciously!" The water-demon nodded. Hidan smiled,

"Well, what'll you have? We've got tempura, udon, onigiri, bento-boxes, dango, naruto, fried-fish, dango, mochi, and rice-candy!"

"I'll take that _huge_ yellowtail tuna! Deep-fried!" Hidan quickly fried said fish up and handed it over to the captain, Kakuzu happily taking the payment for the food and smiling,

"Just as I thought: not even a _minute_ of being in this place and we made a sale! Hello new tin-roof…"

* * *

><p>The captain of the Royal Guard was happily carrying his fish inside of the Palace towards the carded off area where the members of the Royal Guard were seated and a few famous and wealthy people could sit and speak with them.<p>

The aqua-haired demon had just taken a bite out of his fish when the two coral twins, Co and Ral, walked over and stated (in unison), "Always hungry after a show, eh Conch?"

"Ha! Right on dude and dudette!" Conch replied but when he did, he waved his hands: the fish falling towards the floor. "My fish~!"

In a split instant, the fish was stopped right before it hit the ground by strong, blue hands. The three Royal Guard members looked and saw that the owner of said hands was one Hoshigaki Kisame: the shark-demon heaving a sigh of relief, "That was close! You should never waste any kind of fish…"

"Most bodacious brah!" Conch nodded, taking the fish, "Major thanks for saving my meal!" When he had left and the three were about to go into their section, there was a call of,

"Hoshigaki Kisame!"

"That voice." Kisame gulped and turned, seeing Sanbi walking up to the red velvet rope, "Lord Sanbi?"

"The one and only." The shark-deity smiled, "Haven't seen you around since the competition in Adamant Sea City!" The white-haired shark smacked a strong hand onto Kisame's shoulder, Kisame replying,

"Well, weather-watch always keeps me busy…"

"Well, now we have a good opportunity to talk." Sanbi stated as he signaled for the two guards by the velvet rope to open it, "Come on in, I'll introduce you to the others."

'_Lord Sanbi… Inviting me… Meet other Royal Guards…'_ Kisame's mind was internally sputtering due to the awesome situation, but he had enough sense to smile and reply,

"Thanks!", as they both walked inside.

* * *

><p>The most noble of the noble class were already seated in their seats, waiting for their food and drinks while mingling with the rich and famous. Ivan, dressed in his snowy white attire with a camera in his pocket as well as a few brochures from his sisters' orphanage (hey, he was talking to wealthy people right? They might as well share that wealth with a child… or two…) before he took a deep, composing breath and walked forward into the dining hall.<p>

"Oh!" He stopped by a table, his eyes landing on a group of young lion-spirits. "Good evening to you all! How astonishing you look!" The lionesses giggled before their husband smiled and asked,

"And you, kind sir, look good as well." Ivan smiled, they thought he was one of them! _'Oh, thank you Sasori!'_

"Might I be troubling you all for a picture?" The Baba Yaga asked, smiling as the group agreed.

* * *

><p>"Dances in Snow!" Alfred called out as he rushed through the halls, looking inside every door (getting slapped a few times when he accidentally peeked in a women's restroom) and space he could find.<p>

It wasn't until he went around the entire castle three times and he wandered back into the dining hall that he finally managed to catch a glimpse of his brother again. "Dances in Snow!" He shouted, running straight towards the younger Trickster Spirit; his feathered cape rippling as he moved.

"Did someone call me – Oomph!" Was all the wavy-haired Trickster got out before he had been glomped to the ground, "Freedom-Crying Eagle? What are you doing here?"

"Thank the Great Sky-Mother!" Alfred whooped as he helped his baby brother up, "I never thought I'd be able to see you again!"

"It's good to see you too, eh?" Dances in Snow nodded before he offered, "Hey, you should meet Gilbert! He's heard so much about you and I bet he'd love to see you in the flesh."

"Sure!" Alfred replied, too happy from seeing his brother to think further into the situation.


	55. The Best Night of Our Lives Part 2

"Where did he go?" That was Sasuke's primary thought as the young dragon moved through the crowds of people (and obnoxious fan girls), trying to find Naruto. He _really_ wasn't a party person, and if _one more fan girl asked for his address_ he felt like he was going to snap.

"Play it cool Sasuke…" He reminded himself, thinking back to the ring in his pocket. "Let's just find Naruto and try to do this without making jerks of ourselves…"

* * *

><p>"Damn it!" That growl was from Naruto. The young Kitsune was <em>so<em> pissed that the group of creatures that he thought he could call _friends_ had abandoned him like this. Hell, he couldn't even find Sasuke. Though, now that he thought about, he had been whisked away by that vicious squad of fan girls. He shuddered; such terrifying creatures.

But really, he was _really_ hoping to have some company tonight because, well… At every flash of orange or vermillion, he flinched; rushing to a safe spot. He had just run from a rippling dress of the same color when he bumped into an _intensely_ warm body with nine tails. "Kit!" Kyuubi shouted, grabbing the blonde into two tight arms.

"Hi Uncle Kyuubi…" Naruto groaned, blue eyes looking out for any of his friends in a desperate attempt to get something to distract his uncle's attention, "Um, Uncle Kyuu, maybe I should—"

"I'm _so_ glad you're here kit," Kyuubi went on, dragging Naruto along like a sack of potatoes, "I was worried that tonight was going to be _so_ boring. And even better yet," The fox-deity smiled, "I have a surprise for you…"

"Oh joy…" Naruto seethed, forcing a smile onto his face as he was pulled along to Kyuubi's private table where a young man sat.

"Kit, meet the heir of the Lunar Dragon Kingdom Sai!" Naruto gulped as the young dragon in front of him had an _eerie_ resemblance to Sasuke, but his hair was short and dark, his skin too pale, and his smile _far_ too fake for the blonde's liking as he stood and took Naruto's hand, greeting,

"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance Naru-chan…" And with a smirk of confidence, he lowered his head to press a gentle kiss against Naruto's hand…

* * *

><p>Some equate a broken heart to feeling your soul being ripped apart by a black hole. Others say that it's more like someone tore out your still beating heart and slammed it to the ground before stomping it into the dust.<p>

As Sasuke saw Naruto with the other dragon, he felt both of those things and _more_ swamping over his entire being in full force.

But he didn't scream.

He didn't roar.

He didn't even try to go over and confront the two.

He quietly turned around and left the palace: flinging the velvet box into the fountain before he hailed a taxi for himself.

* * *

><p>The dancing room of the palace was filled with all sorts of whimsical creatures standing around and conversing with one another. But that didn't stop Tobi from bouncing in and biting his lip, squealing, "Kya! The shiny dance floors! The gourmet sweets! The pretty party-demons! The fancy band!" He looked back at the marble floors,<p>

"Shiny!" Then the sweet buffet,

"Gourmet!" Then the guests,

"Pretty!" And finally, he looked at the band composed of a group of vampires,

"_Fancy_!"

Tobi's teeth chattered as his whole frame shook in excitement, finally exclaiming, "Gotta dance!" He then bounced onto the dance floor, singing,

"_Tobi's at the Shooting Star Ball~! _

_Tobi's at the Shooting Star Ball~!_

_Tobi's at the Shooting Star Ball~! _

_It's all Tobi's ever dreamed!"_ He jumped up onto the stage and hugged the stuffy vampire pianist with the glasses and the short brown along with his lute-playing wife.

"_It's all Tobi's ever dreamed! Whoo-hoo!"_ He then startled the stern-looking blonde vampire who was playing the double-bass and his almost identical sister, the sweet-looking vampiress playing the harp,

"_It's all Tobi's ever dreamed! Yippee!"_ All around the room, all the guests were looking at him: completely aghast at his un-formal behavior. And before he could sing the end of his song, two demonesses locked in his happy grip of a hug, the blonde double-bassist called out,

"Hey, quit screwing around!", before the band kept playing their calm, formal music.

Tobi blinked before he quietly let the demonesses go, meeping as everyone went about their stuffy business, "It's all Tobi's ever… dreamed?"

* * *

><p>Back out on the patio, Sasori and Deidara walked through the rosebushes: admiring the beautiful blooms until a feminine voice spoke up, "Such well-dressed young ones!" They looked up to see the wealthy demoness walking over and introducing herself, "I am Lady Bluebrow the Second."<p>

"I'm Sasori," The redhead began, "And this is my fiancée Deidara." Deidara curtseyed before starting up a bit of small talk,

"What a lovely rose, un!" Sasori agreed before picking it and handing it to Lady Bluebrow. She looked at it before she snatched it up and took a big bite out of it.

"Huh?" Sasori blinked, Lady Bluebrow replying with her mouth full,

"Such a lovely color… And so good for the complexion!" As she swallowed, some of the petals still in her teeth, the two fashionistos could only stare at her odd behavior.

* * *

><p>"<em>My yellow-breasted friend…"<em> Zetsu sang out in the gardens, feeling that he was getting closer to his new friend. When he heard the whistle again, he smiled and rushed through the pathway, "My Meadowlark is right around this bend and—Oh!" He frowned as he was greeted with the sight of an old demoness sweeping the garden paths, whistling all the way. "Um…" Zetsu cleared his throat, his hopes crumbling as he asked, "Was that… you?"

"Sure was!" The older demoness nodded, "Just love whistling while I work!" And she went right back to it, sweeping along.

"Oh, well…" Zetsu bit his lip before excusing himself to walk in the opposite direction. He soon heard the chattering of animals and he smiled as he rushed over, gasping, "That's the cry of a toucan! And the chatters of an orangutan and, oh, is that a kangaroo!"

However, as soon as he got within eyeshot of the animals, they all scattered away: Zetsu sighing, "Damn it Zetsu, such a loud mouth…"

* * *

><p>Back in the palace, in the Royal Guard seating area to be specific, all the tables and standing room available were filled to the brim with demons trying to talk with the Royal Guard members and Lord Sanbi.<p>

Kisame struggled to push himself through the crowds before he finally made it to Co and Ral and asked, "So, you guys have to be heading back to training soon, right?" But they were too busy talking to a reporter and the background noise of all the conversations going on were _not_ helping at all. The bluenette then saw Conch flexing his muscles for a group of princess and asked him,

"Hey! Have you ever swum so fast that you caused lightning? _It's awesome!_" But Conch didn't hear him over the noise either, leaving a slowly raging shark-demon standing behind him.

* * *

><p>Rokubi and Itachi still stood on top of the crystal staircase in the palace, more and more nobles walking up to see the weasel-deity. "I bid you welcome you to the Shooting Star Ball." Rokubi greeted a couple with a bow, Itachi following the gesture before he spoke up,<p>

"Rokubi-sama, I've been so excited to spend this time with you and –"

"Yes, that's just how I've been feeling and – Oh, welcome to the Ball!" Rokubi interrupted the young brunette before he actually had to interrupt _himself_ to greet a young queen. "Which is why I – Ladies! So lovely to see you again!" He bowed again, two princesses coming up.

"Alright then…" Itachi muttered quietly as his teacher's attention was constant being pulled elsewhere. "Looks like getting a chance to speak with Rokubi-sama will be a feat in itself…"

* * *

><p>Back outside in the courtyard, Kakuzu and Hidan stood behind their refreshment cart, Kakuzu stating, "First minute, first sale."<p>

A few demons passed by.

"Second…" Hidan folded his arms.

A few more demons passed.

"Fourth…" Kakuzu growled.

More demons passed by.

"Sixth…" Hidan hissed.

Demons kept passing up the cart left and right before Kakuzu sighed, "120th minute, _no _sales…" As Hidan watched his husband groan as he sat in a chair behind the cart, he could only shake his head,

"This isn't how this night was supposed to go at all…"

* * *

><p>Kakuzu and Hidan weren't the only ones about to get a cold, harsh date with reality. As Ivan had been walking around the dining hall, he didn't know he was being watched by familiar, fearful eyes.<p>

"Zut alors…" Francis Bonnefoy, the fashion master of Luminescent City, whined as he watched Ivan walk around the room, talking and conversing, "What is _he_ doing here?" As if he didn't have enough problems, an agitated voice from behind him gritted out,

"_Francis…_" He gulped and turned to see a blonde fairy named Arthur, who was actually prince of fairies, glaring at him, "You were supposed to make sure that _I_ had the best outfit tonight! What the bloody hell is _that_?"

"You cannot expect _me_ to do anyzing about zis!" Francis sobbed, "Look at that terrifying oaf! He shall murder me!" Arthur rolled his green eyes before reaching into his robes and pulling out a magic wand.

"Useless, I swear…" He muttered before waving the wand around in the air twice. Then he waited…

"What is going on?" Ivan shouted as he was forced out of the palace by two guards, "I am demanding that you unhand me at once!"

"Sorry," One of the guards began, "But an anonymous source has named you as a suspicious character. And as such, you are no longer allowed inside the palace."

"But-!" Ivan tried to protest, but the palace doors were shut on his face before he could even get a word out. "What was just happening here?" He asked himself; surely he hadn't done anything wrong while he had been inside –

Just then, he looked through one of the windows to see Arthur and Francis taunting him and making all sorts of immature faces.

"Kol… Kol…" Ivan gritted through his teeth.

* * *

><p>"…He's so nice Freedom-Crying Eagle…" Dances in Snow insisted as he led his brother to the table where his husband was staying. "And, oh! Why should I say anything when he's right here!" They arrived at a table where an albino dressed in silver armor sat drinking a mug of beer. "May I introduce you to the Silver Prince Gilbert!" The albino let out an obnoxious belch before setting the mug on the table. He snapped his fingers, watching the mug turn into pure silver, before he looked up and smirked,<p>

"Mattie!" He clapped his hands onto his lap, "Come on over here and sit down!"

"He prefers the name 'Matthew' to my original name." Matthew gave a nervous smile before following his husband's order. Gilbert looked up to Alfred and asked Matthew,

"Who the heck is this? He looks just like you!"

"I'm his brother," Alfred frowned, "Freedom-Crying Eagle."

"Kesesese!" Gilbert laughed, "I know that way out in that backwards desert you two are from, all those random assortments of words are names… But seriously, what's your name?"

"Son of a bi—" Before he could say anything that he would regret he took a deep breath and stated, "Alfred."

"That's better!" Gilbert smiled before shoving Matthew off of his lap and pointing across the table, "Go on, take a seat kid!"

Alfred damn-near wanted to scalp this guy as he saw Matthew picking himself off from the floor. But he would try to be civil… For his brother… No matter how much it _pained_ him to do so…

* * *

><p>"Tobi's at the Shooting Star Ball…" Tobi whispered to himself as he sat alone at a small table. The joy-demon sighed, "And it's not what Tobi dreamed…"<p>

* * *

><p>On the patio, Sasori had gotten two seats for Deidara and Lady Bluebrow to sit upon. However, Lady Blueblood took her seat and used the blonde's as a foot-rest: Deidara whispering, "This isn't <em>at all<em> what we imagined, un…"

* * *

><p>Itachi was forced to keep up a smile as he stood by Rokubi, who kept greeting the guests of the Ball. "This isn't what I hoped…" He frowned for a brief second.<p>

* * *

><p>Kisame shook his head as a waiter brought him a scotch, muttering, "What the hell kind of party is this?", as he was still crowded by all of the people in the Royal Guard seating area.<p>

* * *

><p>Ivan quietly walked towards the back entrance of the palace, just to be blocked by a couple of guards. The Baba Yaga could only shake his head, "I was not expecting this…"<p>

* * *

><p>"Wait, if you could just-!" Zetsu pleaded with a flock of birds. "Please, I wanted to -!" A group of chipmunks rushed away from the plant-demon before he sighed, wiping at his eyes, "This isn't what I wished for…"<p>

* * *

><p>"Where's the shining prince that my brother told me about?" Alfred asked no one in particular as he watched Gilbert demand Matthew to find someone to bring him another drink.<p>

* * *

><p>'No!' Itachi thought to himself.<p>

'We've waited all our lives—' Sasori began.

'For this moment!' Zetsu finished.

'And Tobi's _not_—' Tobi thought out loud.

'Going to let—' Kakuzu growled.

'It be ruined—' Ivan plotted in the courtyard.

'By some jerk—' Alfred whispered.

'Or let this night slip by!' Kisame gritted out as he broke his glass in his hand.

"If it's the last thing I do," They all vowed to themselves, "I am _going_ to have The Best Night of My Life!"

* * *

><p>Pale hands placed a carrot underneath a box held up with a stick, all the while Zetsu was working quickly and quietly before and rushing off behind a bush, whispering, "I just need to be more assertive, like Kisame taught me in Adamant Sea City…" Then he called out, "I'm <em>so<em> sorry to have scared you all! But I'm leaving… so you can all… come out!" He made sure he was blending into the bushes, intently listening for something to take the bait.

A few minutes into his wait, Black Zetsu appeared in the reflection created by a spot of evening dew on a nearby leaf. **"You do realize that this plan has more holes in it than Swiss cheese, right?"**

"Shut up!" Zetsu quietly snapped, about to say something else when the sound of the box toppling over caught his ears. "Oh, oh don't worry…" He smiled as he walked out of his hiding spot, "I promise not to harm you, I just want to be…" He trailed off in another groan as he saw the old demoness from earlier picking herself out from the box, "Friends..?"

"Mm! Sounds good to me!" The demoness said as she finished the carrot.

* * *

><p>Deep black eyes watched as Sanbi and Conch conversed with a couple of reporters, Kisame whispering to himself, "Come on Kisame, if they don't notice you, you'll just have to <em>make<em> them notice you." The bluenette looked around before he saw a tipsy demon about to fall over. "Perfect!" He smirked before rushing over and catching them before they collapsed…

And he frowned as he saw that he had been completely ignored. "Shit…" He gritted out before letting the demon pass out on the floor.

* * *

><p>Across the way, Sasori and Deidara were walking the palace carpets with Lady Bluebrow. When he noticed Deidara's frown, Sasori quietly insisted, "I know how these people work from when I trained with Juubi, they're eccentric. But just give them a while and they straighten up!"<p>

"Oh, good heavens!" Lady Bluebrow gasped, stopping the two demons behind her. Deidara looked down and saw that someone had spilled a glass of red wine.

"Good eye Lady Bluebrow!" The bird-demon smiled, Lady Bluebrow agreeing,

"One would hate to slip on such a fine evening!"

"Yes, one would." Sasori nodded.

"One's _scarf_ should do the trick nicely…" Lady Bluebrow coughed, raising an eyebrow towards Sasori…

* * *

><p>"Easy danna…" Deidara sighed as he helped his fiancé pick up his stained, silk cloak that Lady Bluebrow had just trampled all over.<p>

* * *

><p>Back inside the dancing room, Tobi pouted as he stood amongst all of the stuffy creatures. But, behold, the joy-demon had an epiphany! He grabbed a napkin from one of the tables, writing a series of notes on it, before he jumped back onto the stage.<p>

Then he whispered to the pianist, the vampire not amused, and his wife, the vampiress giggling a bit before Tobi rushed to the microphone and announced, "Come on all you party-animals!"

The room immediately shushed, everyone aghast at Tobi's actions, "Tobi knows how to get you to shake those _groove-things_!" The blonde double-bassist was about to force Tobi off of the stage when the lutist made him sit back down and get ready to play. Tobi beamed, "Hit it!"

* * *

><p>"<em>You reach your right hand in, <em>

_You reach your right hand out!"_ Tobi's voice echoed through the palace all the way to the staircase where Itachi was shaking hands with everyone who came up. His hand was seized by a bear-demon who shook it like he was trying to rip it off.

"_You reach your right hand in, _

_And you shake it all about! _

_You do the Youkai Pokey meeting lots of folks of clout! _

_That's what Tobi's talking about…"_

'Someone please kill me…' Itachi thought as more demons came up and shook his throbbing hand.

* * *

><p>"<em>You step your left foot in, <em>

_You pull it right back out!"_ Outside, Hidan had kicked a sandaled foot against the cart, sending apples and peaches to the ground just as a young demon walked by. He instantly tripped over the fruit and Hidan helped him up, gesturing to the refreshment cart.

"_You step your left foot in _

_But you'd better help him out! _

_You do the Youkai Pokey but you find a different route!" _The demon frowned at the two farm-workers before storming off; Kakuzu actually punching a dent into the wagon as he bit back his rage.

"_That's what it's all about!"_

* * *

><p>"<em>You punch your fist in, <em>

_Then you pull it out!"_ Kisame smiled as he punched his fist against a table, knocking the drink that Co and Ral were sharing to the floor. He quickly caught it before it landed, the coral-demons smiling and clapping…

"_You punch your fist in, _

_Just be brave and have no doubt! _

_You do the Youkai Pokey _

_Feeling like you're going to pout!"_ Which is exactly what Kisame wanted to do as the two were dragged off by a photographer.

"_That's what Tobi's singing about!" _

* * *

><p><em>"You have to sneak in,<em>

_But they just throw you out!"_ Ivan kept a careful eye out as he quickly climbed through an open hallway window… But he could only growl as a couple of guards escorted him off of the premises.

"_You try to sneak back in, _

_But they just through you back out! _

_You do the Youkai Pokey _

_Feeling your mood sink down south!" _

"Damn it!" Ivan gritted as he was shoved out of the palace again.

"_This is what this night's about!" _

* * *

><p>Meanwhile with Alfred, the blonde Trickster was too busy glaring at Gilbert, the albino prince too busy messing with Matthew's hair despite the uncomfortable whines he was getting. <em>"You have to bite your tongue, <em>

_You want to knock him out! _

_Your brother loves him so, _

_You're just filled with doubt!_

_You do the Youkai Pokey _

_Trying to get the rage out! _

_This is what Tobi's thinking about!"_

* * *

><p>Across the city, in a dimly lit bar, Uchiha Sasuke was desperately trying to drown his depression in alcohol. But being a dragon, it was harder than you would think. <em>"You shove the bottle in, <em>

_When it's dry you pull it out!" _

A group of swooning demonesses slowly began to migrate over, Sasuke immediately sobering up to exhale a rush of blue fames towards them. _"The fan girls want to swarm, _

_Well, hey, just force them out! _

_You do the Youkai Pokey _

_While sobbing your heart out! _

_That's what I'm talking about!"_

"I want to die~!" Sasuke sobbed, downing another bottle of beer.

* * *

><p>"<em>You tilt your head in, <em>

_You tilt your head out!"_ Sasori and Deidara found themselves stuck at a door that had a toll-booth attached. When Sasori suggested that Lady Bluebrow paid the toll, she scoffed and demanded that they pay.

"_You tilt your head in, _

_Then you shake it all about! _

_You do the Youkai Pokey _

_Even though this hag's a lout!"_ Finally, with Deidara holding back an angry squawk and Sasori's tail cracking and snapping behind him, the redhead paid the toll just to have Lady Bluebrow slam the door in their face after she got through.

"_You're better off without!" _

* * *

><p>And finally, in the holy gardens, Zetsu was busy chasing all the animals around the garden: his dark-side shaking his head at him in the pond. <em>"You stomp your whole self in, <em>

_You stomp your whole self out! _

_You stomp your whole self in_

_And you stomp it all about! _

_You do the Youkai Pokey _

_And you give a little shout!"_ As Zetsu saw all the creatures heading for cover, and how torn and filth his clothes had gotten, something snapped in him as he roared,

"**COME OUT!"** And shouted and ranted and raved in the center of the garden.

"_That's what Tobi's talking about~!" _

* * *

><p>Tobi laughed before he hugged up against the pianist, <em>"You do the Youkai Pokey!"<em>

"Gott in Himmel!" He screamed as he was forced off-key.

"_You do the Youkai Pokey!"_ Tobi laughed, bumping against the double-bassist who yelled,

"Fuck!", as both he and his instrument fell over.

"_You do the Youkai Pokey and that's what it's all about! _

_Yay!"_ Tobi danced off the last number of his song before stopping to look around. All around the dancing room, the guests were just staring at him until the blonde double-bassist, Vash was his name, shouted,

"What is _wrong_ with you? Don't you know how to act at parties?" Tobi flinched but then he realized,

"Oh… They don't want to 'party', they want to 'par-tay'!"

* * *

><p>"I wonder how the kids are doing?" Hidan mused as he and Kakuzu were almost falling asleep as they hadn't gotten <em>any<em> customers that night. Suddenly,

"Three servings of grilled eel please."

"Who said that?" Kakuzu snorted as he woke up, seeing Sasori and Deidara with Lady Bluebrow. "Oh thank Gobi…"

"Three servings of grilled eel…" Hidan called back as he cooked up the food. However, Lady Bluebrow whined,

"Oh, can't you go any _faster_?"

"Okay…" Hidan frowned before holding out the order, "That'll be 8 gold coins please." As Lady Bluebrow stood there, biting her nails, Deidara rolled his eyes,

"For the love of… Ahem!"

"Right back at you dear." Lady Bluebrow frowned, Sasori groaning,

"And I have to shell out money yet _again_! _Yay…_" He reached for his wallet but Kakuzu held up his hand,

"It's okay Sasori. I have so much food here that I might as well start giving it away so it won't be a waste."

"Why thank you, un!" Deidara bowed a bit, "At least _someone_ has a gracious air about them tonight…" He glared at Lady Bluebrow who had started eating. But no sooner had she swallowed did she immediately spit everything back up, shrieking,

"Ugh! How simply _vile_! Rice balls, bento-boxes, dango-dumplings, mochi and fried-fish? My regal lips have touched such disgusting peasant-fare!" She promptly turned up her nose and stormed off, "_I'm_ going inside to feast at the buffet. Feel free to join me whenever!"

"This bitch…" Sasori seethed, taking Deidara's hand and following the old demoness. When they were gone, Kakuzu growled, his emerald eyes narrowing,

"No wonder no one's buying anything! They're filling their high-brow stomachs on fancy food!" Hidan was quiet for a moment, taking apart the current development, until he finally snapped his fingers and stated,

"Come on!", rolling the wagon away, "I know what rich people like…"

* * *

><p>"Heh heh heh…" Zetsu's voice chuckled as he quickly tied together a net-trap and set it on the garden floor. He stood up, eyes twitching and parts of his sin going black, before stating, "I'll get you yet my <em>pretties<em>…" A couple of rabbits and chipmunks huddled together in a nearby bush, "Oh yes… As soon as one of you little _birds_, or monkeys, or _bears_ touches this net, you'll be _mine_! Ah ha ha ha – Oh no!"

At that moment, the plant-demon tripped and fell into his own trap: the net heaving him up into the air. One of the braver rabbits padded over, sniffing the air around Zetsu as he asked, "A little help?"

The prim, proper, and elite were mingling quietly in the dancing room when, suddenly, the air was rent with the sounds of someone scratching a record.

* * *

><p>Tobi had somehow found a turntable system and was spinning tracks and laying down some mad beats for everyone to get down to. "Come on everyone!" He shouted, jumping from the stage, "You said you wanted to <em>par-tay<em>, so let's do it!"

He then jumped form the stage and started dancing up against this person and that, trying to get them to join in.

Amongst all of the randomness, Ivan had finally snuck back in and didn't even wait two seconds before walking straight to the dining hall, finding Arthur and Francis's table, and grabbing their arms, "You will come with me, yes?"

"No!" The two blondes sobbed as they were dragged off.

* * *

><p>"Come and get it!" Hidan shouted to one and all as he and Kakuzu rolled in a cart carrying a large, strawberry and cream tower-cake. "This oughta quench your spoiled, unhealthy appetites!"<p>

"Oh, that looks good!" Matthew commented, purple eyes going wide at the large confection. But Gilbert cackled,

"Like _you_ should be eating something like _that_, Thunder-thighs!"

"That's it!" Alfred shouted as he tackled Gilbert to the floor and began to land vicious punch after brutal punch. "I! Have! Had! It! With! Your! Shit! You! Don't! _Deserve_! Someone! Like! My! Baby! Brother!"

"Alfred!" Matthew cried, trying to pull his brother off of his husband, "Stop it, you're going to kill him!"

Everyone looked on at the violent display, but then their attention was ripped over to where Arthur and Francis, both sporting bleeding cuts and bruises, were rushing down the halls; Ivan giving chase.

* * *

><p>Naruto, meanwhile, groaned as he pushed off yet another advance from Sai. All night long, the other dragon had been just throwing innuendo and perverted comments to Naruto in a pathetic attempt to 'spit game'. But it seemed as though this guy could not take 'dude, back the hell of I'm not interested nor will I ever be interested' as an answer.<p>

Hence why, as Naruto turned to walk away, he decided to cop a quick feel of his ass.

"Huh, just like a girl's…" He smiled, not noticing how furious Naruto was getting, "So, this proves that you don't have a penis, ri—"

He never finished his insult because Naruto socked him clean across the jaw and walked off, fuming to himself, "Fuck it! Fuck this Ball, fuck my friends, and fuck Sasuke for leaving me here too!"

"Stage dive!" The blonde had walked away in anger, not noticing he had moved into the dancing room until he heard Tobi's voice and looked up to see the joy-demon jump from the stage.

"Move!" Hidan screamed, leaving the cake's side to save Naruto. But Kakuzu had to move them both away as Tobi landed on the cake.

At the same time, Sasori, Deidara, and Lady Bluebrow walked into the room. They all shrieked upon seeing the incoming threat, but it was Lady Bluebrow who did the unimaginable: grabbing Deidara and using him to shield herself from the cake.

All of those in the room were in complete shock seeing the cake and icing drip down the blonde's ruined gown. And Sasori…

All his hard work…

His beautiful fiancée…

All destroyed in a single action…

"YOU!" He shouted, shifting into scorpion-form, "YOU ARE THE SINGLE, MOST UN-REFINED WOMAN OF CULTURE OF I _EVER_ HAD THE DISPLEASURE TO KNOW!" Lady Bluebrow whined and whimpered, backing up as Sasori stalked her down and yelled, "IN FACT, THE ONLY THING NOBLE ABOUT YOU AND THIS COMPLETE CATASTROHPE OF AN EVENING IS HOW I WAS SOMEHOW CONVINCED TO SPEND IT IN YOUR PRESENCE!"

"Eek!" Lady Bluebrow shrieked, "Get away! I just got my hair done!"

"Oh, okay!" Deidara narrowed his eyes, "Afraid to get dirty?" The bird-demon shifted before he flapped his wings, getting the majority of his mess onto the old demoness who collapsed in a faint and knocked over the large, glass statue of Juubi.

"Crap!" Conch dropped his drink before calling out to the other Royal Guards, "Defense plan Clamshe-!"

"We don't have the time!" Kisame growled, seeing the statue about to fall on someone. The bluenette rushed forward and struggled to hold the statue up as those in danger got out of the way. "There…" He gritted out, about to slowly let the statue down when…

"Let's go!" Co and Ral called out as they rushed forward to slice the statue in half. Now, one half fell to the ground without a bother… But the other…

"SHIT!" Kisame roared as the lower half of the statue fell on his right leg.

"Oops!" Co and Ral rushed over, "We're sorry!"

"THERE'S NO SORRY FOR THIS!" Kisame shouted back, the pain in his broken leg ruining _all_ senses of politeness and calm at the moment.

"Are you guys serious?" Sanbi yelled, "Get a freaking doctor on the scene, now!" One of the guests, a nursing student, rushed to Kisame's side and asked,

"Sir, are you alright?"

Kisame's eyes went wide for a second, as if he couldn't belief what he had just heard. Then, he smiled and nodded, "No, you know, I'm _fine_. Yeah, yeah, I just felt like, you know what? Taking a _nap_. In the middle of a _ballroom_. And since I couldn't find any blankets, I decided to use half of a gigantic statue to cover my legs – OF COURSE I'M NOT ALRIGHT, YOU STUPID BITCH! MY LEG IS BROKEN!"

As if things weren't bad enough, police sirens rang out into the air right before Ivan was detained from punching Arthur's stomach again. "Let me go!" He screamed, "Let _go_ of me, I still have to beat crap out of little prick!"

"Sir," One of the police demons calmly stated, "You are under arrest for assaulting Arthur Kirkland, the prince of fairies."

"Wait, wait!" Ivan asked, "That little prick was being prince of fairies?" The police nodded. "Nyet! Let go of me, I have to kick that little pricks ass even more!"

Finally, Rokubi and Itachi walked into the dancing room; hoping to get some relaxation time after all those greetings and handshakes. But Itachi's mouth gaped open and closed like a drowning fish as he saw Kakuzu and Hidan looking over the remains of their cake along with Naruto, Sasori and Deidara trying to redeem their clothes, Kisame bellowing out in pain, Ivan being dragged away in hand-cuffs by the police, Alfred trying to console his baby-brother as Gilbert laid out on the ground; unconscious, Tobi sniffling back tears, and Sasuke… Sasuke nowhere to be found… Along with Zetsu, which was odd.

"This night can't get any worse." Itachi whispered.

_Then_ the ground started shaking, screams and murmurs of uncertainty growing before the doors burst open: animals of all shapes and species fleeing into the palace. And behind them, Zetsu panted, his clothes ripped to shreds, before he shouted, his body going completely black as he shouted,

"You're… going… **TO LOVE ME! AAGGHH!" **Before he rushed into the room, hunting the animals down as they went into a fearful frenzy.

"Oh gods…" Itachi shook his head before Rokubi leaned over and whispered,

"Run."

"But what about Kisame? And Ivan? And –"

"I really think…" Rokubi winced as the sound of breaking glass ripped into his ears, "That you and your friends should go Itachi…"

"Rokubi-sama…" Itachi whispered, water welling at his eyes. Nonetheless, he shook his head and whistled to his friends. Those who could ran out of the Palace doors with the weasel-demon, Tobi having to pull Zetsu along.

* * *

><p>"Hey!" Sasuke slurred out at the counter of that bar he was in, "Another bottle of scotch!"<p>

"Haven't you had enough?" The bartendress asked, Sasuke snapping back,

"Have you ever _had_ a broken heart? I'll tell you when I've had enough!" The navy-bluenette slumping over as an onslaught of nausea hit him like a ton of bricks. "Oh, oh man… Never felt _this _before…" He groaned, laying down on the counter, "I think I'm going to puke…"

"Do it in the bucket." The bartendress sighed, handing the dragon an off-colored bucket. The door to the simple bar opened, the bartendress calling out, "Ne, Naru-chan! It's been such a long time!"

"What?" Sasuke gasped, turning around to see the group miserably walking into the bar. "Naruto?" He slurred. But that got the Kitsune to stomp over and yell,

"Don't you _Naruto_ me! Where the hell were you? I needed you to be there for me in case my uncle tried to pawn me off on another idiotic suitor!"

"Wait…" Sasuke shook his head, trying to get his senses back, "So, you weren't abandoning me for some high-class, royal dragon?"

"Ugh!" The Kitsune groaned, taking a seat at the bar, "Just forget it! Hey, can I get a beer please?" As the bartendress went off to get the order, Sasuke's body burned off enough of the alcohol in his system to allow him to ask,

"So, how was the best night of your lives?"

"We shall never speak of this night," Itachi seethed out as he sat down at a table, "Again. Agreed?"

"Agreed." Everyone nodded, Itachi groaning into the palms of his hands,

"Rokubi probably _hates _me now. Gods, this was the worst night of my entire life…"

"Well, that might have been the best Ball we've had in a _long_ time!"

"Say what?" Everyone questioned the new voice, turning to see Sanbi and Rokubi walking into the bar accompanied by…

"Ivan!" Alfred whooped out as he rushed over to hug the Baba Yaga. And when Itachi saw that Kisame was with them as well, he let out a huge sigh of relief and walked over,

"You're alright."

"Yep, thanks to Lord Sanbi!" Kisame explained, "Healed me and my leg right up." Before the two could talk anymore, Sanbi had gotten a drink and was speaking again,

"This night was _awesome_!"

"But…" Deidara scratched his head, confused, "This night was _awful_!"

"The Shooting Star Balls are _always_ awful…" Rokubi sighed, "That's why when we invited you all, we were hoping that you would liven things up a bit."

"And even though things didn't go quite as planned," Sanbi downed his drink, holding it out for a refill, "You have to admit, it was kind of fun!"

"By the way, Ivan," Rokubi addressed the Baba Yaga, "Don't even worry about the issue with the police. In fact, I apologize on behalf of the palace guards for how you were treated."

"Oh, do not even worry about it." Ivan smiled before he looked to Alfred and asked, "Well, ho was meeting up with your brother?"

A simple frown was his response before Alfred sighed, "I just hope he doesn't hate me for beating up on that jerk…"

"Speaking of beating up on jerks…" Sanbi mused out loud before he walked over to where Kisame was standing, "So…"

"So?" Kisame blinked.

"I've heard that you've been wanting to enlist in the Guard." Sanbi further explained, Kisame still quiet. "Well, would you like to sign up?"

"I… I…" Kisame gulped, looking over to his friends before he wholeheartedly replied, "YES! Oh my gods, YES!" They all cheered, Itachi hugging the bluenette from behind and exclaiming,

"Kisame, you finally got through!"

"I couldn't have done it without you, you realize that?" The bar was already filled with cheers and congratulations, but then Kisame had to go and lock lips with the weasel-demon close to him: the cheers growing…

"Great, training starts the first day of March this year."

All jubilations ceased.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Oh boy... **

**Well, if you could all drop a review, that would be _great..._ Please? _Please~?_ Thanks for reading! **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	56. Departure

**A/N: Hey everyone, it's Tyranno's girl here with her latest update titled: 'The Late as All Hell/The Writer is pissed off' Edition. **

**Why am I pissed off? Three reasons: **

**One, SKYWARD SWORD CAME OUT AND I CAN'T BUY IT! * sobs uncontrollably * **

**Two, Literally like three chapters after I wrote a Christmas-themed update, Equestria Daily releases info that there will be a Christmas-themed episode. FFUUUU-!**

**And three, This chapter (if we can call it that) is _so_ short. It just screams 'Tyranno's girl didn't have enough time to write a chapter this week because she has to write two essays and cook Thanksgiving dinner. Yay.' **

**Okay, okay I'm calm now... **

**Don't hate me... I really do appreciate the readers and the reviewers... FMJ26, elric0sis, Lyrics-For-The-Mind, Zetsu's Rose, YaoiPhox, Alexa Hiwatari, izzy1229anime... Thank you all so much... **

**(Maybe I'll make it up with a double-update next week, but for now... Here you go. I'm so ashamed...)**

* * *

><p>Kisame walked into the kitchen of his house on the last, sunny morning of February. He was surprised to see Mizuki sitting at the counter: tormenting Hun with a strip of bacon that he kept just out of the hell-dog's reach.<p>

"Hey you two," The shark-demon smiled as he started a cup of coffee for himself, "You're down here pretty early."

"We have Musketeering to do today!" Hun explained, lunging for the elusive bacon yet again, just to fall out of reach.

"So we needed to eat breakfast early so that we can meet up with the others."

"Um, before you guys head out," Kisame cleared his throat, "Mizuki, I need to tell you something."

"Can't it wait baka-same?" Mizuki frowned, giving a slight huff as Kisame conked him on his head for that wisecrack. The shark began,

"I've told you to stop saying that," Before he sighed and started again, "Actually…"

* * *

><p>The ocean waves conversed among themselves as they crashed against each other and against the sandy pink beaches of Coral Island. On said beach, Kisame was lying on a blanket, Itachi lying next to him. "I'm beginning to regret my choice." Kisame's voice stated out of the blue. Immediately, Itachi shot up and asked,<p>

"_Why?_ Kisame, you've been shaping your entire life up to this!"

"I know, but…" The bluenette sighed as he sat up, "I'm just thinking of how Mizuki will handle this. We've never been apart for more than a day before and when I told him this morning that I would be gone a year…"

"_NO!" Mizuki screamed, clutching at Kisame's leg. Needless to say, Kisame was shocked at this behavior: the otter-demon was usually so distant. "Baka-same, you can't run away from me! Too many people already have!" _

"_Mizuki-kun," Hun whispered before trying to pull the otter-demon away, "He's not going away forever. Calm down—" _

"_NO!" Mizuki shouted again, keeping a tight hold. "You aren't leaving!" _

"_Come on, cut it out." Kisame smiled before tugging the child away and holding him up. "I'm not going to be gone for long." Mizuki struggled a bit until he gave a heavy sigh. He then looked up, glaring daggers up into the shark's eyes as he asked,_

"_And what is _your_ definition of long?"_

"We already discussed this;" Itachi shook his head; "Mizuki and Naruto are going to be staying with me and Sasuke while you're gone."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, across town, Sasuke flew through the air in dragon-form, whooping, "I am a very happy dragon~!"<p>

* * *

><p>"Yeah, about that…" Kisame cleared his throat.<p>

* * *

><p>"Wait, what?" Sasuke yelped, feeling his happy aura plummet.<p>

* * *

><p>"I've just been thinking," Kisame began again, "It would be kind of cumbersome to move all of Mizuki's furniture and stuff to the library, so…" Itachi blinked,<p>

"So..?"

He was answered when Kisame reached into his pocket and brought out a blue key attached to a golden chain. "For the house," He explained, "If it's not too much trouble, since I already asked you and Sasuke keep an eye on it." It took Itachi a moment before he realized,

"Oh. _Oh!_ Would really be okay for me and Sasuke to stay there?"

"It's more than okay! It would actually make me feel a lot better, actually." After the key had changed hands, Kisame lay back down and sighed, "To think that I won't see this place for an entire year."

"Quit that," "You're making this harder than it should be." The weasel-demon was suddenly over-taken by a surge of braveness. He rolled over on the blanket until his body rested on top of the bluenette, laying his head against his broad chest and lightly grazing his nails over it. A content sigh passed through his lips,

"I've never noticed how nice it feels… right here."

"Itachi, quit being so cute!" Kisame laughed, not moving from his spot, "It's like you're securing me here to this very spot with that attitude!" It was at that moment that Kisame blinked and spoke, very calmly, "Itachi, look at me for a second."

"What is it?" He yelped when a bright flash caught him by surprise. Kisame chuckled at the sight, readjusting the camera in his hands. "Honestly?" Itachi sighed, Kisame nodding,

"To remember you by."

"Well, wouldn't it be better to have a picture of me smiling rather than me looking like an idiot?" Itachi asked before standing up and walking to the edge of the beach where water met sand. At that moment, the sun had begun to set over the horizon. The twilight that ensued was creating a beautiful glow and as Itachi stood in front of it, it created the perfect photo-op that Kisame was more than happy to take advantage of.

* * *

><p>The ship was due to leave from Adamant Coliseum at 6:30 sharp. The group had assembled at the landmark early to see their friend off. Kisame's parents had rushed down as well, Mizuko asking, "Are you sure you packed everything?"<p>

"Yes mother…" Kisame nodded, hoping that Naruto had packed his bags right while he was gone.

"I can't believe this day finally came," Kakuzu began, "It's going to be odd not being bothered by you every day –" The stitch-demon chuckled as Hidan hit him in the back of the head, insisting,

"By which he means that he's going to miss you." They all laughed a bit before Kisame walked over to Itachi and looked down to see Mizuki frowning.

"You're still mad at me aren't you?"

"What was your first clue?" Mizuki huffed. But he shook his head and then added, "And I'll be even madder if you don't come back, so you'd better come back!"

"Of course," Kisame chuckled, ruffling the small otter-demon's hair, "I wouldn't want to incur your wrath, oh mighty otter-san…"

"Baka-same…" Mizuki shook his head before walking over to the other children.

* * *

><p>After a while of talking and watching the Royal Guard members pack luggage and supplies onto the splendid ivory ship, Nokoru asked his son, "So, have you heard from Zabuza and Raiga yet?" Kisame nodded: those two had entered a small fighting competition two seas over to see if they could get into the Royal Guard that way. "If all goes right, they should be here in 3… 2… 1…"<p>

"Hoshigaki!" Two voices suddenly shouted before Kisame was tackled to the floor by his cousin Zabuza and friend Raiga. "So," Zabuza spoke as he helped the bluenette up, "You ready for this?"

"Like you wouldn't believe!" Kisame smiled before noticing that the two hadn't come alone. There was a teen with long brown hair, matching rabbit-ears, and a face that would make one think they were a perfect girl, and beside them was a younger teen, a coral-demon with lavender hair and wide eyes of the same hue. "These must be Haku and Ranmaru! Oh, I've heard nothing but good things about you two from these guys!" Though they were both immensely shy, you could tell just from looking at them, Haku bowed and stated,

"It's a pleasure to meet you all."

"Someone's been hitting the jailbait…" Hidan whispered to Kakuzu, receiving a cuff to the head. Introductions were made, jokes were shared. Then, abruptly, all side conversations ceased. The cause was Sanbi walking up on stage, Rokubi standing to the side as the shark-deity began his speech.

"Ladies and gentleman," Sanbi addressed everyone, "Let me first say, thank you for coming to see your friends and loved ones off. The journey that we are about to embark on is a long, arduous one. And though I would love to promise that each and every one of you will make it home… I was not born to be a liar." There was a sudden hush over the crowd before Sanbi then stated, "The ship will depart in the next ten minutes. I suggest that all farewells are made within that time."

"Oh Zabu…" Haku sighed as he helped the dark-haired shark-demon get his bag. All at once, Ranmaru began sobbing: tears staining his face as he cried,

"Raiga-san, _please_ don't leave!"

"Hey!" The harpy gulped as the coral-demon fell into his arms, "Don't you start crying, or else…" He sniffled, tears falling from his eyes, "Or else _I'll start too~!"_

The coliseum was filled with an upsurge of murmurs and speech, most of the demons there could barely hear themselves think…

Aside from the shark-demon and weasel-demon in the center of all the chaos: standing close to one another, only conscious to themselves…

"This really is it isn't it?" Kisame whispered, Itachi nodding,

"Yeah, it is." They stood there for a moment, foreheads touching against each other: a simple touch, but so much emotion being held within the action. The gongs on the boat crashed again, more people walking onto the ship that would take them to a brand new horizon…

"Don't forget about me…" Kisame whispered before he tilted Itachi's head up a bit, brushing his lips against the brunette's, "I don't know what I would do if I managed to come back… And you weren't here waiting for me." They shared another brief kiss before Itachi gently stated,

"That's a double-sided argument: if you manage to get yourself hurt out there, I would never forgive you."

The gongs sounded again, their sound firm and absolute. After their lips met once more, Kisame tried to take a step away… Just to come back and wrap Itachi up in a bruisingly tight embrace. Finally, the gongs echoed throughout the air… And Kisame let go, walking with Zabuza and Raiga onto the ivory ship.

At the same time, Sanbi had very begrudgingly left Rokubi's side. The two deities never had their farewells in public: they had decided, long ago, that the emotions that would flare up whenever they separated were not to be seen by public eyes.

As soon as the white-haired deity was on board, he gave the command for Conch to start the boat. The gongs rang one final time before the majestic cruiser began to move through the waters, slowly picking up speed as time went on.

All across the deck, the applicants to the Royal Guard waved and shouted out to their loved ones while they were still in eye-sight.

* * *

><p>A whole year… Those still in the coliseum would have to wait to see their loved ones again for an entire year….<p>

And even then, only some of them would come back wearing the garb of the Royal Guard… Only a few of them would have achieved their life-long dreams…

"Come back to me Kisame…" Itachi whispered as the ship vanished on the horizon, "No matter what happens, you had better come back to me…"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

*** shakes head * I don't even know. If it wasn't too bad, if you could please leave a review, it would be MOST appreciated. Thanks for reading! **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	57. Hammerhead Cove

**A/N: I just want to thank everyone who's been reading so far. I think that update after next will be the end of this story. But don't fret, I already decided that I'm doign a sequel and it will be awesome so you all better read that too. **

**More good news! I haven't done any fan-art in a while since, well... **

**Hidan - Bitch ran out of paper. **

**TG- Shut up. But a few days ago, I was trying to find something for my mom and I managed to find an almost full container of paper. So art should start going up regularly starting next update. **

**I just want to thank: YaoiPhox, FMJ26, akatsukiGIRLZ, Zetsu's Rose, elric0sis, darkcat Smith, Waterbomb22, Alexa Hiwatari, and izzy1229anime. **

**So, without any further ado, may I present the 'I'm Typing this up as I'm watching the end of the Occupy LA movement on the news'-edition update. Yay! Well, not for the movement because it should have continued... But yay for teh chapter! Let's read.**

* * *

><p>The ivory ship sliced through the oncoming waves as it sped across the ocean. All over the deck, various water-demons were energetically conversing among themselves. "Can you believe we're finally here?" Raiga asked Kisame and Zabuza, "Just imagine it: within a year's time we'll be being sized up for our own suits of that shimmering blue armor!"<p>

"Don't get ahead of yourself Raiga," Kisame sighed as he leaned against the railing of the deck, "You always do that." Zabuza frowned,

"And what's with the solemn attitude cousin?" Kisame merely shook his head,

"I just want to keep a level head going into this. If anything were to happen to me without seeing Itachi again I would never forgive myself." He turned to his friends, "And I know that, deep down, you feel the same about Haku and Ranmaru." The trio remembered back to when they had their tearful farewells at the coliseum.

"What do you think it's going to be like?" Zabuza asked, Kisame shrugging his shoulders,

"Who knows? Those who are already in the Royal Guard won't tell us anything about." The shark-demon glanced over to where Sanbi was standing before adding, "And Lord Sanbi hasn't spoken to anyone since we came on board."

The white-haired deity was standing on the side of the ship, his hair whipping in the wind as the vessel sped forth.

It seemed like an eternity before the Conch announced to one and all, "Next stop: Hammerhead Cove and Lord Sanbi's Training Complex!" Everyone on deck rushed to the sides (carefully avoiding Sanbi's deathly aura) and gasped as they lay their eyes on the facility.

The simple buildings had been hewn into the rock of a sea cave: hammerhead and great white sharks swimming around the front, keeping a pseudo-guard on the place. The whole place may not have been anything to write home about in the fancy/chic/award-winning concept, but to those on the ship… The sense of awe instilled on them was comparable to their reaction upon seeing a temple for the first time.

"No turning back." Kisame whispered to himself as the boat rested into the dock.

* * *

><p>The sun had yet to rise into the sky when a loud trumpeting rang out through the training complex: causing all who lay sleeping in the simple housing barracks to jolt awake; some, like Raiga, falling out of their cots.<p>

"What the hell?" Zabuza gritted his teeth. Kisame somewhat shared the sentiment, yawning,

"Its 3 am, I never wake up before 6…" Never the less, they all tried to get ready as fast as they could so they wouldn't incur the wrath of the white-haired deity.

But nothing can prepare you for hell, now can it?

* * *

><p>"LOUDER!" Sanbi roared as he walked over the backs of all of the applicants who were currently doing push-ups. But they weren't <em>just<em> push-ups: they were being done on the ocean's surface in the middle of a storm. "I CAN'T HEAR YOU! DON'T TELL ME THAT A LITTLE STORM IS CAUSING YOU TO PISS YOURSELVES!" He jumped off of someone's back before stomping over to Kisame and yelling, "What number are we on Hoshigaki?" The bluenette choked out the sea-water that was being forced into his lungs with every wave that passed before he called back,

"76!"

"76!" Sanbi yelled out to everyone, the others groaning back,

"77… 78…"

* * *

><p>The training was proving to be far more intense than anyone really anticipated; it would seem that applicants who couldn't take the harsh conditions would leave. At least five would abandon their dreams and hopes via the boats that lined the training complex.<p>

Sanbi anticipated it, as he sat awake up in his private room, cello in arm as he watched them leave.

* * *

><p>"Let's see how much you guys have learned so far." Sanbi spoke up one morning as he led the remaining applicants to a dark cavern underwater two months into training. The shark-deity swam to the front of the cave and dropped a set of keys in front of it. He then swam up above the cave before announcing, "Those are the keys to the mess-hall. Do any of you have the guts to come over here to get them?"<p>

Everyone was somewhat confused. All they had to do was swim over and get the keys? It seemed too easy…

And just as a penguin-demoness was about to swim over, Sanbi stopped her and added, "Oh, I almost forgot." He swam over to the cavern and gave a powerful punch to the wall, the whole ocean shaking.

Silence held the area in a painful grip for a moment. But suddenly, with spiky fins protruding from every angle and vicious fangs in its mouth, the head of a massive lion-fish shot forth from the cavern: roaring as its sleep had been disturbed.

"Being in the Royal Guard doesn't just require strength," Sanbi stated to one and all, "You need intelligence, courage, and brawn to be mixed in perfect balance and ratio with one another. So," He finally rested upon a nearby stone before stating, "Have at it."

The lion-fish roared again, causing one of the applicants to faint and Sanbi to sigh, "Take him to the boat."

Meanwhile, the others were panicking about what the hell they could do to get the keys to the mess-hall back without losing their heads… and arms…

"We are going to starve to death!" Raiga shouted before he bit his finger, "What do we do?"

"Raiga, shut up for a moment." Kisame frowned before he looked to Zabuza and said, "Any suggestions?"

"If someone could distract that thing for a second while someone else goes to get the keys, then it should work." Zabuza muttered, "But who's going to go in there?" The trio was quiet for a moment until Sanbi shouted,

"I'm not seeing any action! MOVE!"

"To hell with it!" Kisame gritted out before swimming over to the lion-fish's cave. Immediately, the beast shot its head out. But Kisame narrowly dodged it as it lunged forth again and again.

Abruptly, the lion-fish snapped its massive jaws around the bluenette. But before anyone could shout out in horror, the monster groaned and growled as its jaws were forced apart by Kisame, who shouted, "Any _time_ now!" Zabuza quickly swam over and got the keys before Raiga said,

"Kisame, come on back!" The bluenette nodded before he quickly slipped out of harm's way. The whole group cheered for the bluenette's bravery and strength until Sanbi shouted, "Come on, we're swimming back to the training complex for a set of laps around it. Let's go!"

* * *

><p>One morning, during month three, those who remained had been hard at work trying to dredge up a sunken, abandoned ship from the ocean depths. Halfway through, however, Raiga keeled over from exhaustion: the rope he was pulling slipping from his hands.<p>

"Raiga!" Zabuza shouted, but Sanbi glanced over and yelled,

"Don't you _dare_ let go of that rope Momochi!" Zabuza clenched his teeth but kept pulling on his rope. But Kisame refused to just let his friend collapse into the water and drown. He quickly managed to get Raiga's rope before nudging the harpy's body back onto dry land with his foot.

Needless to say, pulling both ropes was an unnecessary strain on his muscles, but he wasn't about to let his friend die.

* * *

><p>Sanbi seemed to like to keep the applicants guessing. For instance, one afternoon he used his power to freeze the entire ocean area around them before stating, "You might be wondering why I asked you all to come out here with the least amount of clothing possible." He shook his head as he heard shivering and the clattering of teeth, "Today's training consists of a run around the complex as you see it now: frigid cold and covered in ice. You will use your chakra to keep yourselves warm or you will freeze to death." Sanbi explained, "This exercise is about sheer chakra control. Those who can control prosper, those who cannot freeze to death." After he had explained the day's exercise, the applicants all tried to prepare themselves the best that they could.<p>

"Does he hate us?" Raiga whimpered, the tears that dripped from his eyes freezing on his face, "I can't help but think that he really hates us—"

"GO!" Sanbi shouted, everyone rushing across the ice that felt like a thousand needles piercing into one's skin with each step.

"God, I'm _never_ taking Haku to the mountains ever again after this!" Zabuza gritted out as his bare feet kept slipping on the ice, slowly losing feeling. Kisame helped his cousin up before keeping up the pace, trying not to focus on the cold. He kept the image of Holly-Eve Night at his house in his mind: Sasuke and Naruto laughing, Mizuki tormenting Hun, and Itachi… Oh, how he missed Itachi…

* * *

><p>One of the few things that made life in the training complex bearable was the mail-system that would bring letters and care-packages in from loved ones back home…<p>

"Cookies!" Zabuza whooped as he received a box in the mail from Haku, already knowing what it was, "Fuck yes!"

"Gods man, excited over a bunch of cookies…" Raiga scoffed as he opened an envelope from Ranmaru. Instantly, he stood and gushed, "Ah, Ranmaru! So cute!", as he saw the pictures that Ranmaru had sent him. Zabuza rolled his eyes before shoving a triple-chocolate cookie into his mouth, then he turned to Kisame and asked,

"What did you get?"

"A letter." The bluenette replied, not looking up from said parchment.

"Ooh~!" Raiga taunted, "Is it from Itachi?"

"Yes." Kisame nodded with a smile, still not looking up from said parchment. But Raiga soon gave up on his teasing once he saw he wasn't getting anywhere. "Don't have too much fun with those pictures," Kisame smiled, "We all have to sleep in the same room, remember?"

"Damn you Hoshigaki!" Raiga snapped back, his face stained rose as he stormed off.

* * *

><p>Six months. The exact halfway point since they arrived here at Hammerhead Cove. The sun beat down on Kisame's back as he sat down on a bench near the main building, trying to catch his breath from the run the remaining applicants had just been through. He didn't know, however, that he was being watched until a voice stated, "How much coral would it take to build a house to hold all my tears?" Kisame blinked before replying, completely out of the blue,<p>

"The seas would be stripped bare, for the truth is my dear, such tears in this life are necessary." He then looked up and saw Sanbi looking out from the highest balcony of his private sleeping quarters. "Sorry!" Kisame gulped, standing to walk away. But Sanbi shook his head and called down,

"Come on up Hoshigaki."

* * *

><p>Kisame walked into the small house and looked around for a bit before Sanbi called over, "In here kid."<p>

"What is this?" The shark-demon asked as he walked into a room filled with every musical instrument you could imagine and then some.

"My sanctuary." Sanbi explained as he sat down next to his cello, "Every instrument you see here has either been given to me or I've picked it up during my travels." He then looked over and asked, "Do you play?"

"I did a little when I was younger." Kisame replied, blinking when a violin floated into his hands. Before he could ask any more questions, Sanbi began playing away: his eyes shut in concentration.

"Keep up." Sanbi muttered to Kisame as he kept on playing his cello. Kisame nodded before he played along on the violin. The song was foreign to the bluenette's ears, and the notes didn't seem to go together at first… But he kept on and, slowly but surely, he began to understand…

The song was about the journey they had all made here. It was about the struggles and trials that they were all pressing through, the heartbreak that they felt at night: being away from their homes and loved ones… The song took a more intense note at that point, Sanbi playing his heart out…

He missed Rokubi, so much that he was laying his heart out on the cello just to ease some of the hurt. The decadent sounds of the two string-instruments filled the room: the master and the student pouring out sheer emotion through music.

* * *

><p>One evening in the barracks, Kisame was up: his mind racing about how things were going at home. His ears twitched, catching the sound of movement from outside. Slowly, quietly as to not wake anyone else who was still sleeping, Kisame snuck out of bed and gently padded across the floor until he was able to get outside.<p>

When he was a good distance away from the house, he whispered, "Hey!"

The figure who was the source of the movement gasped before turning around to see the shark-demon following them. It turned out to be the penguin-demoness from the lion-fish incident who was _not_ expecting anyone to come out this late. And when she got a closer look at who it was, she almost fainted.

"You're Hoshigaki Kisame: the guy who has mastered The Great Shark Tsunami!" The penguin-demoness whispered in awe, Kisame scratching the back of his head,

"Well, yeah. But I'm just a simple guy, really." The demoness flipped her glossy black hair back before introducing herself,

"I'm Yuki: just a simple girl who's made a lot of mistakes and trying to atone for them." Kisame looked to her hand and asked,

"What's that?" Yuki blinked before smiling and holding up what turned out to be a picture of a penguin-demon toddler.

"Her name's Yue. She's my one eye, you know, just her and me against this big scary world." She looked at the picture again before putting it in her pocket and asking, "I'm doing this for her, you know? I can't put her through school with a rain-collector's salary. How about you?"

"Me?" Kisame blinked before he looked up at the clear, black sky: the full moon looming overhead. "It's always been my dream to be a part of the Royal Guard… My parents wanted it, _I_ wanted it… But now…" He sighed, closing his eyes as he imagined Itachi reading another book to Mizuki at home. "I'm doing this for someone who's very dear to me."

* * *

><p>Despite how hard the training was, how physically and emotionally draining it was, as month 10 passed by and found the remaining applicants training in group martial arts, it was that much more rewarding.<p>

This was easily everyone's favorite exercise as Sanbi was kinder during these times and they were accompanied by every water-demon's weakness: music.

"Okay Hoshigaki," Sanbi spoke as he carried over a large wooden log, "We've been here 10 months and when you first came here you almost broke your hand when you tried to break this."

'_Maybe because it's enhanced by chakra..?'_ Kisame warily thought as the log was set in front of him.

"Go!" Sanbi called out Kisame nodding as he walked forward to the log. It was as if it stood there, taunting him as he got closer. Finally, the brunette took a deep breath before clenching his hand into a fist, drawing it back, before surging it forward. He shut his eyes, expecting bone-cracking pain, but he was pleasantly surprised when he didn't feel agony…

But air. Dark eyes opened to reveal that the log had been splintered into pieces. "Go Hoshigaki!" Raiga whooped, a few others sharing in the sentiment.

"Alright, alright," Sanbi nodded as he picked up another log, "Next!" But before he walked away, Kisame had something to ask.

"Lord Sanbi," Kisame gulped before continuing, "Is there any reason why you stopped the postal service?" In response to that, Sanbi only shook his head and sighed,

"We're in the final stretch… In a few more months, those of us who still survive will be heading home." He turned to Kisame, "I don't need you all being distracted now that we've come so far." Kisame immediately spoke up, thinking about the penguin-demoness single-mother whose daughter was waiting for her at home,

"But –"

"No buts Hoshigaki," Sanbi interrupted, "Unless you want me to kick yours out of here." The others sighed at the knowledge of no more contact with their families and loved ones, Kisame giving a solemn nod,

"Yes sir."

* * *

><p>Month eleven had to be the worst by far. The final stretch was proving to be too much for some as the training got kicked up a degree.<p>

A hurricane had been bubbling up in the far reaches of the ocean and it had finally reached full power when it arrived at Hammerhead Cove.

"_HEAVE!"_ Sanbi roared as he instructed everyone under the water to see if they could turn the storm around. The problem was that not all of the applicants had ever been a part of a water-watch, so many were swept away by the sheer strength of the tides and winds.

"_HO!"_ Kisame, Zabuza, Raiga, and Yuki all called back as they pushed their strength into the offensive; desperately trying to ignore the pained screams and groans around them. Sanbi gritted his teeth before shifting into his three-tailed shark self, roaring to one and all,

"_The storm is too strong, I'm going to have to use magic to interfere!"_ And with that, the white horn on his head began shining: the hurricane's strength fluxing as Sanbi tried to get control of it. _"Keep a hold of it!"_

Those who were still standing tried their best to keep the storm at bay, but the debris it brought was still coming in fast.

Suddenly, with a swift slicing noise, a jagged piece of coral whipped through the air and, before anyone could catch the situation, impacted with Yuki: sending her flying as it cut into her skin.

"_Yuki!"_ Kisame shouted, Sanbi roaring,

"_Ignore her!"_

"_NO!"_ Kisame shook his head, the image of Yue's picture in his mind, before turning to Zabuza and Raiga, _"Hold things down, I'm going back for her!"_ The other shark-demon and harpy nodding before Kisame loosened his foothold on the seabed, the waters whisking him off towards the penguin-demoness.

He dodged the remnants of a fishing boat, but got his arm cut up pretty bad when a large fish bone rushed past. _"Shit!"_ Kisame gritted as salt-water rushed over the wound. But he forced himself forward until he met up with Yuki. She was still a bit far away, so Kisame had to yell, _"Yuki! Wake up!"_ She could only let out a soft groan in response, her left eye bleeding profusely,_ "Yuki, come on! If you don't wake up now,"_ Kisame gritted out, _"You're going to drift across the sea until the sharks and seagulls eat you; is that what you want?" _

"_Huh…"_ Yuki groaned again, trying to rouse into consciousness.

"_Think of Yue!"_ Kisame growled, pushing his hand forth…

Abruptly, Yuki managed to push loose: getting a few more cuts in the process, but she used the last of her strength to grab Kisame's hand: the bluenette swimming them back to where the others were.

"_You disobeyed an order…"_ Sanbi rumbled as his horn created a blast of sound that counter-balanced the hurricane.

It took a moment but the ocean waters calmed down to a reasonable extent. When the coast was clear, Zabuza and Raiga rushed over to see if Kisame was alright. But Sanbi shifted back to normal-form, the deity shaking his head,

"_You could have been killed."_

"_I couldn't leave her to die…"_ Kisame panted, _"Knowing that I could actually… do…"_ Just then, Kisame passed out onto the ocean-floor.

* * *

><p>He felt very… warm, Kisame realized as he slowly faded into consciousness. After a bit of struggling, he managed to wake up: wincing as he remembered what had happened and the cuts he had received.<p>

Said cuts had been bandaged up, but now that Kisame was awake, he _really_ felt the pain his actions had caused him. "Damn it… Those _have_ to be stitches…" He hissed before looking around.

All thought on his own injuries ceased.

He was in the complex's infirmary, but he wasn't alone. From today's training alone, a third of the remaining applicants were in beds with severe wounds, broken arms or legs, or missing limbs entirely. And that didn't even include those who were still healing up from earlier on in the year.

"Hey."

"Huh?" He asked as he turned towards the noise, seeing Yuki across the way. "You're okay!"

"I could say the same about you," Yuki smiled, "Welcome back to the land of the living." Kisame flashed a toothy smile before noticing that something about Yuki was… different. Then, it finally clicked: there was a velvet-blue eye-patch over her left eye. "They couldn't save it." She explained, guessing why Kisame had gone silent.

"I'm so sorry." Kisame sighed. But Yuki only shook her head.

"You know," Yuki hummed, looking at her new eye-patch, "It's not that bad. I mean, of course I'll miss being able to see out of that eye, but it's not as disfiguring as I thought." She chuckled, "I wonder how Yue's going to react. But…" She trailed off in a sigh, holding her hands together on the sheets.

"What is it?" Kisame asked, Yuki shaking her head,

"I'm pretty sure she'll take a missing eye over a missing mommy. But really, thank you for saving me."

"There's nothing to thank me for," Kisame replied as he stood to leave, "We're all in this together, so we have to look out for one another." Kisame wanted to see if he could get up, he didn't think that his wounds were _that_ severe that he had to stay here… But one step on the ground assured him otherwise. "Maybe I'll just stay in bed for a few minutes…" He smiled before slowly drifting to sleep.

While he dozed, Yuki could only look and sigh,

"Whoever's in your heart is a really lucky person. I just hope _they_ realize that."

* * *

><p>Ten.<p>

Out of the 350 who had arrived here, ten remained to take the final exam: the test that would make sure that they would truly be worthy of the title 'Lord Sanbi's Royal Guard'.

Sanbi No Same paced outside of the location for the final test: a dark cavern at the bottom of the sea.

"Here it is." The white-haired deity announced, "The day of reckoning for those of you who remain. I have to admit, looking around…" He walked passed Zabuza, Raiga, Yuki, and finally stopped in front of Kisame, "This is about the number of people who I thought would make it through. Now, rather than me tell you what you're about to do, I'll let your upperclassmen explain it to you."

Conch, Co and Ral swam down from the water's surface before the captain began, "Okay brahs, here's how this goes down: inside this cavern is completely pitch-black. In fact, the only things that you can see are the ten Glow Coral orbs inside.

There are exactly ten, so we'll know if any funny business happened, yeah. You _have_ to find one of these orbs and make it back here before the sun goes down in order for you to pass on."

"Get ready…" Sanbi stated, the ten applicants preparing themselves. "Get set…" Kisame glared into the dark abyss, vowing that he had come too far to fail now. "Don't disappoint me."

At that, the ten applicants rushed into the darkness…

* * *

><p>Raiga had always been fast, ever since childhood, so he tried to use that to his advantage at first. But he soon realized that that wouldn't cut it. So he slowed down to treading water as he brought a ball of electricity forth into his hands and used it to look around.<p>

* * *

><p>"Come on…" Yuki whispered to herself as she swam through the caverns in penguin form, hoping that she could search the smaller spaces and crannies in her smaller form. But so far, she couldn't see anything… "Damn it…" She chirped before swimming on.<p>

* * *

><p>Zabuza opted for a more <em>forceful<em> approach: swinging his sword around with every step that he took: thinking that if anything was hidden _anywhere_ he could knock it out into plain view.

* * *

><p>The applicants wandered around for <em>hours<em> and _hours_, not making anything in the line of progress for the whole trial. Finally, Sanbi rang a bell: telling them all that time had run out.

All of the applicants slowly filed out of the cavern, empty-handed and reeking of failure… But Sanbi smiled as he noticed something, "Where's Hoshigaki?" Everyone was quiet as they thought about the question. But the sound of footsteps from inside the cavern distracted them all.

"What's that?" Raiga gulped.

The night sky above wasn't adding any light from above, but there was a mass of glowing light coming from inside the cavern. It moved closer, closer, closer still until…

"Hoshigaki!" Zabuza, Raiga, and Yuki cheered as Kisame walked forward holding all of the coral orbs in his arms.

"Hey!" One of the other applicants fumed, "He took all of them before we could get them!"

"No," Kisame huffed before he took one and floated the rest towards the others, "I carried them all so I could try and find you guys. You see…" He hummed, trying to find a way to explain, "The orbs were hidden, but you could only know where if you —"

"Knew how to pay attention," Sanbi nodded as he led the group to where he had hidden the orbs, "The area where these were hidden had a different water-flow than the rest of the cavern. In fact, you could almost say that it was…" He trailed off, letting the current flow: creating a soft sound that closely resembled one of the shark-deity's songs. "Very familiar."

"I wasn't trying to sabotage _anyone_." Kisame frowned to his accuser, "I was trying to help. Out of 350, we're the only ones left. The number shouldn't have had to be cut down anymore."

"Either way," Co and Ral began at the same time, "It means that you all did it! You passed!" Sanbi nodded, him and Conch bowing to the ten applicants,

"Welcome to the Royal Guard." The water was quiet, the group almost not believing the words. But finally, Kisame whooped,

"WE DID IT!", the others soon joining in his revelry. While the group was having its mini-celebration, Sanbi shook his head and began to lead the way back to the training complex. But before he did…

"Kisame," Sanbi whispered into the bluenette's ear, "When we get back to the complex, come to see me."

* * *

><p>Kisame was quiet as he walked into Sanbi's room. "Lord Sanbi, you wanted to see me?" Sanbi sat, organizing his instruments before he asked,<p>

"What song would you think is better to march into a city with? Something energetic or formal?"

"Isn't that a decision you would make with Conch?" Kisame gave a nervous chuckle, "In fact, I think he's back in the mess-hall, let me go get him…" Sanbi shook his head and held up his hand.

"That would be true but Conch is only a captain. He's not my second-in-command, now is he?" Kisame stayed still for a moment until it suddenly clicked in his head.

"M-Me?" He sputtered, Sanbi smirking and giving a simple nod as he picked up his cello and said,

"Come on, we have to organize the music for when we return home."


	58. Letters from the Heart

**A/N: Chapter is short but meaningful. By teh way, I wanted to apologize with the God-awful time skips that this update had. I just couldn't see myself spending five chapters on this though. Let's read.**

* * *

><p><em>Dear Kisame, <em>

_How have you been? I know that this letter will probably reach you only one week into training, but I had to write something to you. _

_Mizuki wants me to tell you that he's gotten over you leaving. I'm not sure how true that is; every night since you left, before bedtime I'll see him looking into your room: probably to convince himself that you're not there. _

_Kakuzu and Hidan asked me to tell you that they said hi: Hidan wanted to make especially sure that you know that you have to come back. _

_Ivan sends a fond hello as well. The Weather Factory has been at top production, maybe since its only Spring… _

_And I think I'm starting to ramble, so I should just end this off here… _

_Train hard… But make sure to come home, alright? _

_-Itachi. _

* * *

><p><em>Dear Itachi, <em>

_Doing fine, well… As fine as you can with a Celestial yelling orders at you every hour or so._

_Mizuki… Such a cute kid. Tell him that I'll be sure to bring him back something nice, alright" I hope that the gang is holding together without me and my awesomeness to keep things steady. _

_Oh, I'm joking. Seriously, I miss each and everyone… Even Kakuzu. _

_But especially you. Here's to trying my best to make it home as quickly and safely as possible. _

_-Kisame_

* * *

><p><em>Dear Kisame, <em>

_Your letters are very short. _

_-Itachi. _

* * *

><p><em>Dear Itachi, <em>

_Wait, what was that? I hope you don't count that as a letter! _

_-Kisame. _

* * *

><p><em>Dear Kisame, <em>

_Oh, you know that I was just kidding. Mostly. That last letter happened because Sasuke was too busy playing around with Mizuki and Hun so, while he was taking down my letter… Well… _

_Have you ever seen a dragon laugh uncontrollably? It's quite a sight but the scorch-marks afterwards are such a pain to clean up. _

_Anyway, there have been some interesting things happening here in Adamant Falls. First of which being the school talent show. _

_We all tried, tried, _tried_ to point the children into the right direction with their talents but they just went on their own and performed quite the interesting little concert… The memories of Hun's singing still brings a ringing sensation to my ears… _

_Also, Rokubi-sama came by to visit me. He says that it's been really quiet around the castle without Sanbi around. But then he changed that to saying it's been somewhat quiet… _

_Then he said kind of quiet… _

_And then he just gave up and said that it's been _calmer_ with Sanbi gone. I can tell that he misses him though… _

_I'd better finish this off before Sasuke's glare gets any worse… _

_-Itachi. _

* * *

><p><em>Dear Itachi, <em>

_Speaking of Sasuke, has he made any progress with Naruto yet? It's going to be really sad if I come back, after a _year_, and see that they haven't gotten anywhere… _

_Seeing a dragon laugh… I've seen a dragon hiccup, but I bet seeing one laugh out loud is something. _

_Mizuki… Have you noticed that the kid has a talent for debate? I mean, sometimes I think he would make a good lawyer or a great politician… But that might just be me. And come on Itachi, Hun's not that bad. _

_As for Rokubi… Lord Sanbi misses him immensely. In fact, call me crazy, but I think that might be why he's in such a bad mood – and I'd better send this off now because he has been reading over my shoulder this entire time. _

_-Kisame._

* * *

><p><em>Dear Kisame, <em>

_You would __**not**__ believe what I've been through this week! _

_Okay, first of all, a wanderer sauntered into Adamant Falls. Nothing wrong with this, everything was fine, visitors are always welcome… But what was __**not**__ welcome was the fact that the person turned out to be some incubus named Antonio who was just looking for a place to have a good time. _

_Dancing all around town, playing his guitar, and trying to seduce people into bed with him. _

_And then the worst thing of all was that he tried to hit on me! Not once, not twice, but at least __**five**__ different times while he was here! _

_But, I kept my cool… (Aniki nearly kicked the crap out of the guy) Sasuke, stop adding commentary to my letters! _

_Luckily, his boyfriend came to get him before any… complications could be had. _

_In fact, I don't know why I bothered you with this. Of all the things that we could be talking about… (Like how much Aniki misses you and wants to kiss and hug and – Ack!) _

_Uchiha Sasuke… I am going to choke the living day-lights out of you! _

_-Itachi._

* * *

><p><em>Dear Itachi, <em>

_Are you sure that Antonio guy isn't still around? Because I could definitely see introducing my fist to his face if he's still hassling you. _

_Hey, don't choke Sasuke too much! I mean, I like the kisses and hugs aspect of our relationship… (Kisa and 'Tachi sitting on the beach… K-I-S-S-I-N-G!) _

_Oh my gods, sorry about that. Since Zabuza and Raiga want to ruin people's letters, I'm going to air some dirty laundry! (NO!) _

_Like how one time, in the _NEPFBW_, Raiga got dared to lick a frozen light pole and the idiot actually did it! (It was for a girl that I liked, damn you!)_

_And then Zabuza nearly pissed his pants when we were all getting chased by a swarm of jellyfish! (I'm allergic!)_

_Oh, good times… Good times… What the – Hey I'm not done writing yet! _

_-Kisame. _

* * *

><p><em>Dear Kisame, <em>

_No, Antonio's far gone, thank goodness. And fine, I promise not to choke Sasuke anymore. _

_So… My kissing isn't that bad? Because I've been reading up on the topic and I'm sure that I can get better! _

_And stop teasing Zabuza and Raiga, they're your friends. _

_-Itachi_

* * *

><p>"Rokubi-sama?" Itachi quietly called out as he entered the weasel-deity's private chamber. Now why would Itachi have made a trip all the way to Konoha by himself? Well, he had been content to send letters back and forth to Kisame until the shark-demon came back… But, all of a sudden, the letters had stopped.<p>

Just like that.

That's why Itachi wanted to go see his mentor: maybe Rokubi could ask Sanbi in one of _his _letters to give Itachi a bit of insight on the topic.

"Rokubi-sama?" Itachi slowly walked through the room filled with books, scrolls, and quills. Rokubi didn't seem to be around though. "Where could he be?" Suddenly, the door opened and revealed the brunette deity walking in with a slice of cake and a bowl of strawberries.

"Itachi?" He blinked before smiling, "What are you doing here? It's been ages! Here, have a seat."

"Thank you," Itachi nodded as he sat down on the weasel-deity's bed before he asked, "I was wondering… Have you heard word from Lord Sanbi?"

The strawberry that Rokubi had just picked up tumbled to the floor: his expression grim. "Rokubi-sama?"

"Itachi," Rokubi gently spoke, "Listen closely to what I have to say." When he was sure that he had the weasel-demon's attention, he sighed before beginning, "Sanbi only keeps the lines of communication open to the training complex for the first few months. When the training gets into its final stretch, he cuts everyone off from home so they can focus on their training. Despite," He gritted his teeth, averting his eyes so his student wouldn't see the tears forming in his eyes, "What I've _told_ that idiot about how much he worries me by doing that! Gods, I want to _strangle_ him sometime!"

'_Gods I miss him, why won't he come home?'_ Was what he was really thinking in his mind though. He turned back around and stated, "The only thing we can do now is… wait and see what fate has in store."

"You mean I can't even contact him?" Itachi snapped, "What if something happens? Like an emergency at home or… or what if something happens to him out there; how will I know?"

"Itachi…" Rokubi took his student's hand and sat him back down from his frazzled state, "Look at me." When brown eyes met red, Rokubi went on, "Have faith. That's all anyone can do. You remind me of my own reaction the first time that that idiot went to train his Royal Guard…"

"_What if I need something?" Rokubi shouted as Sanbi marched the trainees away. Sanbi shook his head, _

"_You'll take care of it." _

"_What if Juubi goes into one of his phases?" _

"_It'll be fine." _

"_But what if…" Rokubi muttered, but Sanbi was already out of ear-shot. It was then that Rokubi wiped the tears from his eyes and whispered, "What if I miss you? What if the bed gets too cold without you in it? What if I go mad without being able to hear your voice in the morning…"_

"I'm more than sure that everything will be alright." Rokubi muttered, gently brushing Itachi's hair down with his fingers. Itachi shook his head,

"But why can't I know for sure?" Rokubi only shook his head before stating,

"We will find out what Amaterasu and Tsukuyomi have in store when February rolls around again. Until then… Just keep hope alive Itachi."

'_For both of our loved ones, keep hope __**alive**__…"_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Next week... You all have an idea of what's going to happen next week, I don't need to do spoilers. Anyway, thanks for reading; please review! **

**-Tyranno's girl. **


	59. Homecoming

**A/N: Hey everyone, welcome back… Heh heh… And now presenting the 'Late-as-all-Hell'-update! **

**God, writer's-block tied me down and made me its bitch this week. **

**Hidan- Huh, sounds kinky. **

**TG- Well, it's not. But anyway, I couldn't do the double-update like I promised (was that this week? God, my mind is so fried from finals that I can't even remember!). **

**Seriously, on Tuesday my English class was like: 'Me – Here you go, my new essay hot off the presses. **

**Prof. – Good job. And for your final, you get to do another essay! **

**Me - … FFFFFUUUUUUU-!'**

**TG- But you know what? I'm okay now, I'm fine. This chapter's going up and - * conks out due to lack of sleep from finals and cramming * **

**Kakuzu - * pokes TG with a stick * Well, guess I have to do the thank you. Not that I'm being paid or anything… **

**TG - * snores * Applejack is best pony… * snores * **

**Kakuzu – Uh-huh… Anyway, let's give a shout-out to: **

**elric0sis, Alexa Hiwatari, YaoiPhox, Zetsu's Rose, FMJ26, skylin19, izzy1229anime, and animated-ninja242. **

**Let's get this over with… **

**TG - * snores * Songs used in this chapter… **

**Parade by Susumu Hirasawa (God, I love his music. But I had to edit the lyrics a bit because the original lyrics are just… weird.) **

**Always Be Lyra (Which is a pony edit of the song 'Always A Woman' by Billy Joel. I made an edit of this song to better fit the fic that can be found on my tumblr... which can be found on my profile.)**

**Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO (Yeah, didn't use the lyrics of this song but this is the music that's being danced to at the end of the update.)**

**Let's go…**

* * *

><p>It was a bright morning in the second week of February when weasel-demon Uchiha Itachi was awoken by his pet snowy owl Blink gently pecking at his hair.<p>

Usually, he would have asked the owl for a few more minutes, but today was special. With a slight yawn, the brunette sat up and gave the snowy owl a gentle pat on the head before he stood and stated, "Today's the day." Blink gave a happy hoot as she flew over and moved the window curtains of the room the brunette had been occupying the past year.

He walked over to the closet and opened it to the end where a special kimono was hung up with care. He had bought it from Sasori just for today because today…

Today Kisame was coming home.

* * *

><p>"<em>Now docking bubble 320 from Adamant Falls…"<em> The large bubble floated into the Adamant Sea City Bubbleport before a puffer-fish came over and popped it: the passengers filing out into the already crowded building.

"Where the hell did all these people come from?" Hidan yowled as the group tried to push themselves and their kids through the crowds who were all here for the same reason: to see those who had made the cut into the Royal Guard march down the streets of the city and into the coliseum.

After a few moments of pushing against other demons and creatures, however, and not getting anywhere, Itachi groaned, "At this rate we're going to miss the parade!" At that, Kakuzu gritted his teeth before reaching into his coat,

"Like _hell_ we are!", bringing out a money-clip filled with around 1000 in bills. He tossed it clear across the Bubbleport and, instantly, the crowds dispersed: a fight had started over the discarded money. "Let's go before I get myself mixed up in that brawl…" The stitch-demon gulped, sending one last glance to the money he had sacrificed, before they all rushed outside.

"Finally!" Sasori gasped, "I never thought that I would be _happy_ to be outside of a perfectly good building but that was ridiculous!"

"But at least we're here now," Zetsu commented, Tobi jumping onto his back and cheering,

"And soon we get to see Kisame again! Yay!" Despite the joy-demon's enthusiasm, Itachi still found the seed of uncertainty in his stomach.

"Hey," Itachi flinched when he felt Hidan's hand on his shoulder, the cat-demon smiling, "None of that. You know he's going to be out there, so stop worrying yourself."

"Hello everyone!" Mizuko smiled as she waved the group over, "Come on, come on, no time to waste!" Nokoru agreed,

"We already picked up Haku and Ranmaru on our way here, so let's go, let's go, let's go!"

"Looks like _someone _is in a rush, un." Deidara whispered to Sasori. But they all slowly made it to the carriage that awaited them: a bigger model than the last time they were here, but it made sense since, well, there were more passengers this time.

"Hey!" Alfred whistled, rubbing his fingers against the cushions, "Are these velvet?"

"Mm-hm!" Mizuko nodded, "Today is about sparing no expense to welcome our loved ones home!"

"Well, this is obviously a sign of good taste!" Deidara commented before sitting down, Sasori sitting next to him. Before too long, everyone was already seated and Nokoru told the driver to get a move on. But suddenly…

"Wait!" That cry caused everyone to turn around to see a very familiar deity swimming after them.

"Rokubi-sama?" Itachi blinked as he looked out the window. Nokoru immediately told the driver to stop, Rokubi panting as he climbed in,

"Oh, thank goodness you stopped."

"To what do we owe the pleasure dear?" Mizuko asked, Rokubi sighing,

"To tell you the truth, sitting with the other celestials during these parades is nothing short of misery. So I figured: why not spend it with my prized student and his friends and – Oh my…" The weasel-deity's eyes went straight to the children in the carriage and whispered, "Cute… So adorable..!"

"Eep." Mizuki yelped before he found himself in the lightning-deity's lap, his hair being happily petted.

"And with that…" Itachi gave a nervous chuckle as he saw the otter-demon's perturbed face, "Maybe we should get going?"

"Oh, of course!" Mizuko nodded before giving the go-ahead to the driver, sending them all on their way to the center of the city.

* * *

><p>Hoshigakis really seemed to have too much money and no idea what to do with it. That much was clear as the driver stopped the carriage on the side of the street and a guide was there waiting to direct the others to the private viewing box that had been set aside.<p>

"Wow, it's so high up!" Haku commented, Nokoru nodding,

"The better to see the parade with." Rokubi sighed as he looked around the crowds below,

"As long as the others don't call me out up here, I'm fine."

"You really don't like sitting with the other Celestials, do you?" Sasuke smiled as he took his seat. At that moment, Kyuubi's voice could be heard down in the Celestial seating area, laughing,

"I am _SO_ freaking wasted!" Everyone in the viewing box sighed, Rokubi frowning,

"Can you blame me? Honestly?"

"Who wants a drink?" Mizuko smiled before calling over a server and ordering a round. But before he left, Mizuko secretly pushed a small, pink vial into his hand and whispering, "Make sure that the weasel-demon…" She nudged her head towards Itachi, "Gets a fair dose of that now, will you?"

* * *

><p>After everyone had been given a drink (and snacks had been set out for the kiddies), they were shushed almost immediately as the sound of music drifted across the waters from the distance. It was time.<p>

The first thing that anyone's eyes would have keyed in on would have been the row of large, azure sea-horses that were being ridden into town. They had been decorated from head to tail in gold and silk to try and match their riders.

"Royal Guard!" Conch called out as he swam in front of the group, dressed up in his armor. He quickly snapped his fingers, a baton spinning into the air before he caught it in his hand, "Move forward… March!"

The sea-horses nickered as their sides were kicked, but swam forward in unison all the same. There were only around forty or so in the group (mostly composed of the previous members), the sight reassuring all of the spectators that only a select few had been able to make it through the training this time around. With everyone who was astride a sea-horse playing an instrument, the Royal Guard managed to compose a great symphonic piece as they marched down the streets of Adamant Sea City.

"Where is…" Haku whispered, looking through the group as they got closer, "Zabu… Where are you..?" Ranmaru had the same anxiety as he looked out over the velvet rope.

"Raiga-san!" He tried calling out but was wracked by a series of coughs. The music went on for a moment more before those in the first line belted out,

"_Energy in my heart is a rushing fire, _

_A street of loved ones, those we hold dear, coming out to welcome us…"_

"_Behold all that is liberty and a utopia, _

_A shining boulevard of beauty…"_ That was sung by the next line in the parade as they passed, throwing their instruments into the air before performing a series of hand-seals that resulted in flakes of ice showering down upon the on-lookers like confetti and then reclaiming their instruments when they came down.

"_Tears and sweat are but a joke, La Vie en Rose is not for sale,_

_They say that hard work will make you happier than you realize…"_

The voices that sang that were all too familiar to Haku's sensitive ears. "There they are!" He cried out in joy, pointing a finger towards the line that was pacing by. Ranmaru blinked before he gasped and shouted,

"Raiga-san! Over here!"

Zabuza, Raiga, and Yuki were riding through on three sea-horses: the two males clashing cymbals and the female playing a flute. But the best thing about seeing the dark-haired shark-demon and the harpy was seeing them alive _and_ clad in that armor. "They did it!" Haku cried as he hugged Ranmaru, "Oh thank Amaterasu!"

"Great…" Itachi murmured, biting his lip a bit before he took another sip of his drink. Conch sent a signal back to the third line, Raiga nodding and tossing his cymbals up before snapping his fingers: a bolt of lightning shooting down from above to bounce against each cymbal before splitting apart into multi-colored bolts that lit up the street as he sang out,

"_Intelligence is as important as brute force, _

_The golden streets of guys and dolls…"_

All of the on-lookers cheered at the visual tricks and effects they were witnessing, especially when Zabuza and Yuki turned up the notches by shifting some of the water into the shapes of dolphins: the figments swimming through the crowds.

"_Watch us all as we march down this noble pathway_

_May Amaterasu's grace rain down upon us…"_

The next line rode forth, being led by Co and Ral, singing,

"_You cannot try and call us failures, we are the elite of the elite..._

_Push aside the jeers and the nay-says, saying that it's just dumb-luck..."_

That line was meant for all those who would surely be disappointed, even infuriated, that those who they were expecting to make the cut fell just short of the finish line. The drummers rounded off a flourish before all of those in the area sang,

"_Now it is coming to you, giving off the beautiful aura of power and success _

_The parade of honor is coming, and it is in the name of all those we love…"_

Back in the viewing box, everyone was enjoying the music and spectacle. But Itachi… Let's just say that the five glasses on the table in front of him didn't empty themselves. "I'm happy for everyone…" He whispered.

"_The roar of waves becomes almost a drug_

_On the streets of angels, selling and singing diamonds…"_ The next line of the Royal Guard sang as they rode past.

"And Rokubi-sama…" The weasel-demon looked up at his teacher before sighing, "He said to keep positive…"

"_Behold all that is liberty and a utopia,_

_Rely on the wise, sing of the strong, all from a fashionable terrace…"_

"So… What else can I do?" Itachi nodded to himself, looking into the group. After a second, he muttered to himself, "Where are you?" But, all of a sudden,

"_Theories and statistics are overrated, life isn't all about numbers... _

_It is a non-refundable equation, we have reached the mountain's summit..."_

For Itachi, everything went quiet. He turned towards the sound of the voice that had just sung and gasped, "Kisame?"

Finally, near the end of the parade riding astride golden sea-horses decorated to the teeth were the two individuals that Itachi and Rokubi had been hoping to see. But their armor was… different.

The normal armor of the Royal Guard was composed of a shining blue with subtle engravings depicting their allegiance.

However, the armor that Hoshigaki Kisame and Sanbi No Same had on was a shimmering sapphire and gold in hue, incredibly detailed engravings of sharks and waves on the chest-plate and back.

The drummers sounded off another flourish before Kisame raised his sword and belted out,

"_Now it is coming to you, giving off the beautiful aura of power and success _

_The parade of honor is coming, and it is in the name of all those we love…"_

"_Now let the ocean's lights shine like the stars in the sky_

_The parade of the Royal Guard is coming, and it is in the name of those we love…"_ Sanbi finished off, the lights of Adamant Sea City seeming to shine brighter for that one second.

"Second-in-Command…" The group turned to see Mizuko's eyes streaming tears, the mermaid whispering in disbelief, "My… my baby… made Second-in-Command… Oh, Nokoru!" She jumped into her husband's arms, sobbing and laughing in elation.

Mizuki (with Hun's help as an impromptu stool) climbed up to get a better look. His eyes were wide at the sight of the 'baka-same' looking so impressive. All he could do is silently wave and hope that he caught the bluenette's attention.

"You always have to make such a spectacle…" Rokubi lowered his head and whispered, a smile on his face all the same, "Don't you?"

Although the group was cheering and carrying on in celebration of their friend's success, Itachi was quiet; preferring to have a silent awe and appreciation for the bluenette parading down the street.

However, he was put off-guard when Kisame keyed in on him, out of the whole crowd, and gave him a knowing smile.

Itachi couldn't help the blush that appeared on his face.

* * *

><p>Those who had been permitted to were now seated in the coliseum, waiting for Sanbi's address about the new members of the Royal Guard. Though the air was still charged with excitement, Itachi couldn't help but think about <em>amazing<em> Kisame had looked as he rode into the city.

He had actually day-dreamed through Sanbi's whole speech and was only taken out of his day-dreams of the corded, muscular chest beneath that armor when Rokubi nudged him and whispered, "Itachi, pay attention."

"What?" The weasel-demon blinked, shaking his head, "Sorry, my head's feeling a bit foggy…"

"Now," Sanbi smiled, his eyes drifting back-stage, "My Second-in-Command asked me if he could take this time to relay a very important message to someone very dear to him so, give your undivided attention to Hoshigaki Kisame!"

The audience applauded for a moment before Kisame actually walked out onto the stage. But he didn't say anything, he waited until the curtains pulled away to reveal a piano.

"What is he doing?" Alfred asked, but Ivan quickly shushed him. Everyone silently watched the shark-demon sit down at the piano and, after making sure that everything was set, he allowed his fingers to meet the keys: beginning a slow, emotion-filled melody, singing along,

"_He's a youth of few words, says a lot in his sighs… _

_He tests my composure with beautiful thighs…_

_And he's always concealed his feelings, you see…"_ A few fans squealed and gushed in the audience at the bluenette's deep, rolling voice. Kisame looked out towards the audience before adding,

"_Now friends to all others, but he'll always be 'Tachi to me…"_

"Who the hell is 'Tachi?" One of the fan girls pouted. But up in his seat, Itachi's blush had returned a thousand-fold.

"He can't be singing about me," He gulped, looking to Hidan, Deidara, and Alfred, "Can he?" Tobi just giggled at his cousin's naiveté before they went back to listening.

"_I can't take all his love, he keeps it for his learning… _

_He speaks somber truth to all who come seeking… _

_And he's shown me true beauty on pink sands by the beach… _

_Yeah, he has quite a temper, but he'll always be 'Tachi to me…"_ He let the keys speak for a bit before belting out,

"_Oh… _

_He gives of himself… _

_He can fight like the guys, _

_But be a being of twilight… _

_Oh… _

_And inspires the world… _

_And you never ask why,_

_He just opens my mind…"_ Everyone gasped as a rush of bubbles appeared out of nowhere: all being heart-shaped. The water had also taken on a warm, pink hue that added to the loving atmosphere,

"_And so tightly I'll hold when he's least suspecting… _

_And then he'll suddenly shock me by teleporting and leaving… _

_But he'll weather the worst and give hope I can see… _

_Hug him all to myself 'cause he'll always be 'Tachi to me…"_

Oh, how Kisame made love to that piano… Itachi shook his head, why did he think that. He played the piano well, that's what he meant. What was going on with him today?

"_Oh… _

_He gives of himself… _

_He can fight like the guys, _

_But be a being of twilight… _

_Oh… _

_And inspires the world… _

_And you never ask why,_

_He just opens my mind…"_ Kisame began again, keeping his eyes on Itachi the whole time as he played and sang the final bit of the song,

"_He's cynical, kind, and an angel with children… _

_He reads textbooks and scrolls, all for the sake of knowledge… _

_And he's become integral since we met by the sea… _

_And the most he will do is a study for you _

_But he'll always be 'Tachi to me…"_

When the song ended, the audience was awash in cheers and applause. "Looks like they weren't only busy lifting weights and running laps at that facility—" Rokubi began when he was interrupted by the flash of Itachi teleporting down to the stage just as Kisame had stood up from the piano seat. When the brunette appeared, Kisame smiled,

"I'm back."

"…" Itachi was silent. He quickly walked up to Kisame and, after tilting the shark's head down a bit, pressed their lips together. Kisame's eyes blinked in surprise for a moment before he was taken in by the feel of those sweet, rose-petal lips that he had been away from so long; wrapping his burly arm around the weasel-demon's waist to deepen the embrace.

* * *

><p>The rest of the affair rushed by in a blur of music and dancing, those who had been gone for a year taking the opportunity to have a bit of fun with their loved ones. For instance, you could see Kisame dancing with his mother, Zabuza and Raiga getting down with Haku and Ranmaru, even Sanbi had convinced Rokubi to let loose a bit.<p>

Before long, however, Kisame had to excuse himself to go get Itachi. "What are you doing sitting down?" He asked over the music, Itachi shook his head,

"I'm content to watch you and the others celebrate and – hey!"

"No you're not." Kisame smirked before adding, "I'll teach you to keep up with me." Blue hands took pale and Kisame gently helped Itachi get into the rhythm of things before letting him go. "See, you're fine."

"I'll fell amateurish…" Itachi muttered as they moved together. But Kisame only shook his head,

"No more than anyone else here.", before he brought their bodies close together once more and spoke into Itachi's ear, "Thank you…" Itachi was confused.

"For what?"

"For waiting." Kisame replied, nipping the long ear before pulling away.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**Oh my God, what is it with me and pianos in my fictions? **

**Seme-Uke Games. Kisame and Russia played a piano. **

**A True Series of Unfortunate Events. Kisame played a piano. **

**Now this? Ugh, I slap myself. * slap * Ow… **

**Ugh, next update is a lemon so… prepare yourselves for that. Hopefully that makes up for the abrupt ending? Yay…**

**Thanks for reading. Please review? Please?**

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	60. Make the Ocean Move

**A/N: Hm… Mm-mm-mm. **

**Here we are guys. Final chapter. And I really need to write more smut and lemons because I am **_**so**_** out of practice..! **

**But oh, oh my gosh guys, we did it! I made it to this point and you made it through my spastic writing! Yay! **

**But seriously, I hope you guys enjoy this. It's really my way of saying thanks – Lemon Warning – and showing my appreciation – Lemon Warning – to all my readers and followers. **

**So, let's do this: **

**Thank you so, so much elric0sis, FMJ26, Alexa Hiwatari, Zetsu's Rose, Waterbomb22, and izzy1229anime. Hell, thanks to anyone who's taken the time to review this fic. Love, love, love to all! **

**Let's go!**

**Disclaimer: If you don't know by now…**

* * *

><p>"Dearest..?" That came from Nokoru as he sat next to his wife in their mansion's sitting room. The mermaid smiled, her shimmering tail lazily flipping in the current of the water,<p>

"Yes honey?"

"I was going through the medicine cabinet, the one in our bedroom," The white-haired shark-demon began, "And I couldn't help but notice that the vial that I keep there for…" He hummed for a bit as he tried to think up a proper term, "_Special occasions_ is gone. Would you happen to know where it went?" Mizuko hummed back, her eyes and her smile mischievous,

"Oh, I don't know… Maybe someone got a hold of it. Maybe a young weasel-demon who our son is obviously infatuated with had a nice cocktail with an _extra_ ingredient, hm?" Nokoru only shook his head and sighed,

"That's a _really_ powerful aphrodisiac Mizu. Do you have any idea how many beds we've broken under its influence? Not to mention it's just as effective to anyone who kisses the person who originally ingested it…" Mizuko groaned, pouting and folding her arms,

"Well, what else was I supposed to do? Nokoru, I want grandchildren damn it!"

"We have Mizuki!" Nokoru chuckled at his wife's antics, but she crawled into his lap and whispered,

"But they're both so young and, and wouldn't you want to see a baby with both of their best traits? A baby girl with blue hair and beautiful red eyes…" Nokoru only chuckled again, letting his hands run through the mermaid's blue hair: it was a trait that he seemed to share with his father and uncles, the fascination of their wives' hair… He slightly wondered if Kisame would have the same tic…

* * *

><p>The door to Kisame's estate all but slammed open, Kisame and Itachi quickly walking through; the shark stating, "Mizuki, there's food in the fridge, you know when bed-time is. Hun, you're in charge so unless there's an emergency—" Itachi tugged on his hand,<p>

"Come _on_ Kisame…"

"Just, try not to come to my room, okay?" Kisame gulped before hefting Itachi up onto his shoulder and going up the stairs and slamming his door.

"What's their problem?" Mizuki frowned when they were gone. But Hun laughed and patted the otter-demon on the head as he stated,

"I'll tell you when you're older Mizuki-kun…"

As soon as the door was locked, Itachi pounced onto Kisame and caught his lips again, clawing at the bluenette's armor. After their tongues had met twice, salivas mixing and creating new flavors out of old, Itachi pulled away and breathed out, "I'm proud of you… And this armor _is_ beautiful… But really, how do you take this shit off?" Kisame smiled before he snapped his fingers, the armor slowly unlatching until he stepped out of it, clad in a simple skin-tight black shirt and pants that beautifully hugged _everything_…

"Oh gods help me…" Itachi whispered, hissing as, apparently, when his eyes were keyed in on the clothes that barely left anything to the imagination, Kisame had latched his mouth onto the smooth, pale column of his neck; the sharp teeth careful not to dig in, but still leaving a sensation of predatory fire that moved through his body, straight down between his legs.

While the weasel-demon was trying to keep a hold of his senses, his tail was whipping back and forth: constantly drawing Kisame's eyes to the furred appendage. After a moment, the bluenette grabbed the black tail; the effect was immediate. The brunette nearly screamed as the feel of someone touching his tail caused his already loose inhibitions to practically turn to jelly, almost like his legs.

Before that could happen, Kisame pulled away: taking a quick breath before he went in for another kiss. Itachi hungrily sucked on Kisame's tongue, keening as he felt his clothes being undone and slipped down his body. They kissed and embraced as if to devour each other in their need to become one.

For a brief second, Itachi wanted to say something about his lack of clothes. But when he felt large, rough, calloused fingers touching him in his most private areas, he almost lost it.

Some strange, rational part of Itachi's mind wanted to question how fast they were going. But, strangely, he felt no doubts. Actually, he didn't feel anything except for the fire threatening to overtake him.

"Why am I..?" He panted, "The only one naked here?" Kisame smirked,

"I don't know, why are you?" The shark-demon then picked the other up before carefully dropping him on the bed. Afterward, he slowly peeled off his shirt: unhurriedly revealing the blue skin covering hard, rippling muscle.

If that wasn't bad enough, Itachi thought he would have gone mad when the demon above him slowly, _slowly_, unbuttoned his pants. He was interrupted as Itachi pulled him down, kissing his cheek as his fingers ran along every strong, corded muscle of Kisame's chest, muttering,

"These muscles are too dangerous…" Kisame asked,

"How so?"

"They attracted me to you the first time I saw you…" Itachi breathily explained, nipping at Kisame's ear, "You have to know how amazing they make you look…"

"Really?" Kisame smiled before smoothing a palm over Itachi's smooth, flawless skin, "Because I think that _you're_ the most stunning thing in this room."

"Ah…" Itachi's voice was let out in another breathy moan, shivers running up his spine, it was like the slightest touch from Kisame's hands was electrifying.

"Sensitive?"

"Shut up – Oh…" The brunette followed his own advice, groaning when Kisame brushed a thumb over the cherry-blossom pink nipples that adorned his chest. And when Kisame lowered his head to lick at them, he felt himself get hard between his legs: his nipples growing as red as his face. "Kisame… Please…"

Kisame blinked at the plea, not expecting the teasing to have such a profound effect. They hadn't even started yet… Oh, but before they went any further…

"I'll be right back." He rumbled before standing and walking towards the bathroom, much to Itachi's chagrin.

"Hey…" He huffed, "Where are you going?"

"Just a minute…" Kisame called back, still rummaging in the drawers for a certain something… "Ah, here we go." He then walked back into to the room. But what he saw made his breath catch in his throat.

Laid out on his bed, surrounded by the dark sheets of his bed and the decadent fabric of his kimono, was the most beautiful creature he had ever laid eyes on. And the more animal side of him would be _damned_ if he didn't finish what he started and claimed the gorgeous creature in front of him.

Let's hope all those books he read about the subject would be of help.

What? Itachi wasn't the only studious one here, give Kisame some credit, huh?

Before he got back on the bed, Kisame finished taking his pants all the way off, kicking the fabric away when he was done. Any other time, he would have laughed at the look on Itachi's face, an obvious reaction to his more-than-impressive manhood. But in this case, it just brought up this interesting conversation:

"Wow…"

"Yeah."

"And… it goes… inside?"

"That's what the books say."

"…Okay."

Itachi gulped, a bit nervous now that reality was starting to break through the haze that Mizuko's hidden addition to his drinks had created. But he trusted Kisame, his feelings for the larger demon above him were more than enough so that he could at least try to take this next step into a relationship.

Besides, all of his other friends had done it, so could he. The sound of a bottle opening caused his ears to perk up, his eyes watching as Kisame poured what appeared to be oil onto his palm and fingers. The smell of coconut and vanilla proved that it was oil as Kisame climbed over Itachi, kissing his lips and cheeks before stating,

"I'm going to need you to relax for this part 'Tachi." The weasel-demon in the bed took a slow, steadying breath. Then, he nodded, signaling that he was ready.

The bluenette nodded back before gently moving Itachi's thighs apart, revealing the small rosebud nestled between the two lily-white, downy globes of Itachi's ass. Before he was mesmerized any more than he already was, Kisame decided to get started.

A strangled cry found its way out of Itachi's throat as the strange, new sensation of something entering him shook him. It wasn't _painful_ so much as it was weird. "Wait a minute… Kisame, wait~!" The last word trailed off in a gasp, the brunette panting as he felt something warm encompass his length. Kisame was slowly stripping away any remnants of resistance that Itachi might have had left with his lips wrapped around the throbbing length as his fingers gently worked in and out of the tight passage that he hoped to soon experience.

It was around when Kisame was trying to add finger number 3 that Itachi suddenly bucked his hips up, gasping, "What was that?"

"Did I hurt you?" Kisame panicked, immediately moving away. But Itachi shook his head,

"No, no it felt good. Can you…" He bit his lip but silently nodded his head down towards the area the shark-demon had just left. Luckily Kisame got the hint and resumed his actions, loving every gasp and soft moan that he got for his work.

When he had finished, he was sure that if he waited anymore that he would just pounce on the delectable creature in front of him. So he had to ask, "Can I?" Itachi blinked the lust out of his eyes and looked up at the wonderful, strong, kind-hearted creature above him.

The decision was obvious.

"Let's do things… by the book, shall we?" He smiled, Kisame tossing back a toothy grin before using what oil was left over to slicken his rock hard erection. Gripping Itachi's legs, he settled between them before slowly aligning himself with Itachi's opening; he hadn't even entered, but he was practically salivating from the heat and tightness he had felt when he was prepping the smaller demon.

"Are you ready?"

"Just do it before I reconsider this whole thing!" Itachi snapped, just waiting for the tension in the room to ease up. Kisame nodded before moving forward, the head of his erection slipping in.

"Damn…" He gritted his teeth, the intense heat he had felt earlier was back tenfold as he pressed further into Itachi's depths. On his end, Itachi bit his lip as he felt his most private recesses invaded. It stung a bit but he couldn't have expected that this would have been completely easy. Nonetheless, he happily groaned when it seemed like Kisame had gotten all of that impressive length inside.

Kisame couldn't help it, he made a slow thrust out and then back in, hoping to get Itachi used to the feeling but mostly because the heat and tightness were driving him _insane_. Luckily, on the second movement, he managed to press up against a spot inside the weasel-demon that made the brunette moan loudly… but not from pain.

"Again…" He gripped Kisame's shoulders before pulling him close, nipping his ear, "Hit that spot again, _please_…"

For the next few minutes, the room was filled with the sweet smell of sweat and sex; the sounds of skin meeting skin and panting breaths echoing against the walls, peppered with grunts and moans.

* * *

><p>As Kisame thrusted in and out, Itachi's insides cried out in sheer bliss. Never in anything he had ever read or studied could have ever led any inkling to the sensations assaulting his brain and body. The tight slide was unbearable and wonderful at the same time.<p>

"Ah… Kisame… Oh gods..!" He cried out, overtaken by pure sensation. A strange numbness crept through his torso, hips, and spine. His skin broke out into gooseflesh. Nothing mattered, nothing but the pursuit of this divine pleasure.

Oh, how neither of them wanted it to end.

But, as their bodies tightened up, sweat cascading down their bodies, things were coming to an end.

After a few more powerful thrusts, Itachi couldn't bear the heavenly feelings anymore: with a scream, his member releasing his hot essence all over his and Kisame's chest.

The clenching of the internal muscles on his length caused Kisame to lose it as well: biting into Itachi's shoulder, growling as he came inside his lover, painting the velveteen walls white with his pleasure.

They both collapsed into the bed, simply laying there as they tried to regain their breathing while experiencing the afterglow. "Wow…" Kisame panted, "Now I know why the others talk about it so much." Itachi agreed, nodding his head,

"That… was… _amazing_." He couldn't help the small laugh the bubbled up in his chest, "Better than anything the books could have said." He snapped his fingers, the sheets and blankets moving to cover both of their bodies from the cold.

Things were quiet and calm, save for breathing and Itachi occasionally purring from feeling Kisame's fingers stroking his hair. But then,

"Kisame, do you love me?" Said shark nearly sputtered at the ridiculous question before he stated,

"What kind of question is that? Of course I do! Don't you love me?" Itachi's response was a quiet smile before he snuggled close to Kisame's chest.

"Hold me," He requested. And when he felt the secure embrace of his love, he began, "I never thought… That moving to a town filled with _insane_ demons would change my life so much for the better. I've learned so much about Youkai, life, and other things that I could write a whole library on the topics. But…" He turned and placed a chaste kiss on Kisame's cheek, "The most important thing I've learned has to be the love that I have for you Hoshigaki Kisame."

Kisame only chuckled before tightening his hold on the slim brunette. Itachi welcomed the embrace, the warmth from Kisame's body lulling him into a soft slumber…

* * *

><p><em>Sasuke hummed, "There's supposed to be a water-demon named Hoshigaki Kisame here to check on the waters." Itachi looked out on the water, seeing multiple whirlpools and choppy waves disrupting the water's beauty. <em>

"_Well, someone's being lazy." The brunette weasel huffed. Suddenly, _

"_Oi..!" The voice was echoed, as if being diluted by something before it called out, "Who are you..! Calling lazy..?" Itachi and Sasuke looked around, not seeing anyone. Itachi frowned and called out, _

"_Look, I don't know or care who you are, but if you could please help us find Hoshigaki Kisame?" The deep voice chuckled from beneath the waves, _

"_No need… To find him… He – I mean – I'm already… Here…" _

Best. Meeting. Ever.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**And there we have it. I hope you guys found it… readable. **

**But now I can make my special announcement! Da-dada-da! **

**The sequel to 'Of Youkai, Life, and Other Things', which shall be titled 'Across The GoldStar Barrier', will go up sometime next week! Look out for it! Whoo! **

**Thanks for reading! See you all in a week! **

**Oh, and please review. Otherwise the parasprites will get you. Love you… **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


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